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wearywinchester · 4 years ago

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Something Old and Something New — Part One

Mechanic!Dean Winchester x Reader

Summary: When life takes a turn and you take an unexpected break from college in Stanford with your best friend Sam, you return home to your job at your family’s co-owned garage. You return home to work alongside the guy you thought you hated—Dean Winchester.

Word Count: 3.8k

Warnings: mild angst, mentions of death, mild swearing, fluff

A/N: Part one to my mechanic!Dean series!

Kansas.

It’s always been home to you no matter what, even if your time was split between here on summer break and the apartment you shared with Sam while the two of you went to school together. It was somewhere that never changed despite your ever changing life, and that was something you felt you needed amidst everything swirling through your mind as of the last six months. A place that was always there to welcome you back home with open arms no matter how few and far between your stays back there were. It was home and it was familiar.

You sighed as you looked out of the car window, gaze focused on just about everything you could see ever since you landed at the airport just barely half an hour earlier. You had to admit you were happy to be home for more than just a short period of time, you missed it here. But you wished it were under better circumstances.

Sam was still back at Stanford surely with his nose stuck in a book far too thick for you to think about without giving yourself a headache, and while the thought made you smile, you couldn’t help the nagging feeling knowing you should be there too. You were nearing the tail end of your time in law school, having had one year left before you’re expected to graduate and get your degree, though you were feeling a little less excited than you think you should be. You were home instead of over there after all.

“For itchin’ to be back home, you sure don’t look like it,” Benny chuckled from the driver’s seat, glancing at you as your lips pursed and your brow quirks up. He nudges you with his elbow to accompany his words, his amusement only increasing at your grumpy expression.

Benny.

He was your parents best friend for as long as you can remember, the closest thing you’ve got to family since your parents passed away a few years back. He was an uncle to you just as much as Bobby Singer was to Sam and Dean, and you knew you wouldn’t trade him for the world. Even when he’s giving you a hard time like in that very moment.

“I wasn’t exactly planning on taking this kind of a break either, Benny,” you huff, shifting in your seat. You turned your head at the quiet sound of his laugh, your gaze narrowing. “‘S not funny.”

“You’re right, it’s not. But that pout you got goin’ on is.”

When he looks at you once more it takes all but a few seconds for you to turn your head and look away, eyes rolling as you bite the inside of your cheek to stifle your smile. You shake your head, knowing it’s no use to even try.

But it’s true, you weren’t expecting to take this kind of a break this far into college because you weren’t expecting to fall out of love with your choice in a career. You made it this far—you were twenty-four and on the brink of becoming a lawyer along with your best friend Sam. But somewhere between here and there you found yourself mulling over the possibility that maybe you didn’t quite like this kind of job as much as you initially thought. You chalked it up to burnout at first, a reasonable assumption, but after returning back from summer break last year feeling less than refreshed and ready to start the new year of studies, you weren’t feeling that same spark.

You were beginning to feel like that profession wasn’t quite the right fit for you, and that was when you decided to come home.

“You’ll figure it out, you know. You always do, Y/n/n,” he says after a little while.

The smile his words pull from you is more bittersweet than anything, because you felt so far from figuring it out that it was near laughable. If you weren’t going to be a lawyer, and you were entertaining the thought more and more every minute, you didn’t have a single clue as to what you’d do with your life. Going into the family business wasn’t exactly an ideal option—you knew your way around a car but you don’t think you could spend day in and day out being a receptionist forever either. You enjoyed what you did at the garage when you work, but you wanted to do more.

You knew that, you just didn’t know what.

“Sam doesn’t even know why I’m taking a break, that’s how ‘figured out’ I have this whole thing. He thinks it’s just ‘cause I miss home,” you say with a sigh, slumping back in your seat.

“You don’t miss home?” He asks, humor in his tone as he raises a brow in faux offense.

You flash him a half annoyed glance, lips pursed only momentarily. “You know that’s not what I meant.”

Your frown has him smiling all the more as you sulk, your mood only fueling his good one because that’s just how Benny Lafitte is. Not that he likes seeing you in misery, he just sees that everything will work out in time, even if you don’t.

“C’mon, Y/n, lighten up a little, kid!” He says, as upbeat as he can be as he gives your shoulder a gentle squeeze. You roll your eyes and smile a little more. “There’s that smile.”

You shake your head as a laugh falls from your lips, huffing out another sigh as you look at him. “You’re ridiculous, you know that?”

“Is there any other way to be?”

You let out an amused huff then, feeling just a little bit lighter than you had when your plane first landed, though the tension in the very pit of your stomach still remained tightly coiled in its ever present knot.

There was a lot for you to think about in the time that you had here, your mind always wandering back to how you’d tell Sam. He loved it there and it was clear to see that, it was clear to see he fit the job and was leaps and bounds more enthusiastic about it than you. You thought about the extra studying you’d have to do if you decide to go back, and the studying you should probably keep doing if you want to be consistent and retain what you’ve learned. But the mere thought itself was something that made your head spin, something that made you even more content with the idea to leave that behind and stay here.

Surely Sam would understand it.

It wasn’t more than five minutes before Benny pulled his truck into the parking lot of the garage, the one you’ve been to a million times over by now. It was just the same as you left it last—a little rough around the edges but it was like a home away from home and you’d never think otherwise.

“Dean’s real excited to see you,” he jests, nudging your arm. His laughter is immediate at the sight of your expression, a scoff leaving your lips.

“I’ll bet he is,” you mumble, unbuckling your seatbelt.

“I thought you two grew out of that phase by now.”

“Who said it’s a phase, Benny?” You smile.

Dean Winchester.

The one who stepped on the backs of your shoes as a kid, the one who took the last slice of pie and still will without a beat of hesitation. The one you stole flannels from as teens, especially the ones he wore most often just to hear him shout and complain when they’d gone missing. It was a habit that led you to find the stash of candy bars he’d kept hidden in his closet, snagging them not so discreetly only for him to turn around and get you right back.

The two of you strived to get on each other’s nerves and it showed to just about anyone who had the pleasure of spending so much as five minutes with the two of you in the same room. You bickered even on the best of days, always a constant string of eye rolls and curses mumbled under the others breath in complaint. He was just as stubborn as you, and maybe, just maybe have you met your match.

You hopped out of the truck and closed the door, smoothing your hands over your jeans. You squinted as you looked upward, laughing softly. “You still haven’t fixed the sign?”

The ‘s’ that was supposed to be upright at the end of ‘repairs’ had been dangling crookedly since the last time you were here, looking comical and out of place with the rest of the sign but you can’t say you were surprised that it looked the very same.

“What do you mean still? It hasn’t even been that long,” he defended, scratching his head as he bit back his grin.

“Benny, I was here eight months ago and it looks exactly the same,” you say, brow raised as you squint at him with an amused smile.

When he does nothing but shrug his shoulders and hope you take his smile as a peace offering, you simply shake your head and laugh, pulling open the front door and walking inside.

The familiarity hit you once you walked in, the slightly crammed and cluttered place smelling a little bit like gasoline and a lot like the lunch everyone had on the collective lunch break. The radio in the corner was playing classic rock, the station never having changed from it unless you wanted to get on Dean’s nerves a little bit and switch it to some pop music he swore he absolutely dreaded. You knew better than to believe that when you caught him singing some lyrics under his breath as he worked on Baby after hours.

You leaned over the counter, the desk you called your very own and your pictures were still there, little knick knacks still in there place but everything was just a little bit grease smudged from one of the guys taking up reception.

“Look who’s back in town.”

You stilled, gaze shifting upwards in an eye roll as a huff exhales through your nose. You knew that voice anywhere, it was impossible not to. It was the voice of the very one who strived to get on your nerves with nearly every word he spoke because that’s just how he is.

Dean.

You spun on your heel and met his gaze, the irritated expression you’d held for the older Winchester faltering for just a moment at the very sight of him standing before you before it quickly returned with just a little less annoyance than it once had. The smirk he wore was enough to do just that, a bit of grease smeared across his cheek with some matching stains on his shirt.

“Deanie,” you greet, his expression fading in favor of a more hardened one at the nickname you knew he hated.

It didn’t last very long, the very corners up his mouth quirking upwards in a way that was all too telling that he was undoubtedly up to something. You knew him by now yet you were still too caught up with something about him to realize it before it was too late.

“Y’miss me, sweetheart?” He asks, tugging you in close for a hug. He gave you a squeeze just to hear you whine an fuss over the fact that he’d been sweaty from the heat of working all afternoon, that and the grease that most definitely was getting all over you.

“Dean,” you grumble, shoving at his shoulders halfheartedly, “get off!”

He let go with a chuckle, his head tipping back in a louder bout of laughter at the sight of the grease having smeared on your cheek and the frown on your lips. Fighting your smile was harder than you cared to admit in that moment, and you hated the way that maybe you missed the feel of his arms wrapped around you once he let go of his embrace. You shook your head partly in a bit of annoyance and partly to shake those thoughts away, arms having been crossed over your chest when he looked at you.

“You got a little somethin’ on your face.” He licks the pad of his thumb and reaches forward teasingly to wipe it off, your hand pushing his away.

“What’s the matter, law school too boring for you now?” He jests lightheartedly, slinging the rag in his hand up to rest on his shoulder.

You roll your eyes in response as you look away briefly. That’s when he saw a flicker of something different cross your expression for a mere moment, something he knows is more than just a little bit of annoyance. He knows you a bit better than you realize. It’s different but you quickly mask it with a smirk of your own and he thinks nothing more of it.

“Don’t you have a car to fix?”

“Don’t you have a textbook to read?”

You scrunch up your nose and he scrunches his, and you’re seconds from snagging the rag off his shoulder before the phone rings. You round the desk as he leans his elbows on the counter. He’s got a smirk on his lips as you shoo him away, more adamant the more the phone rings as he reaches over and snags a piece of candy from the jar you always kept. Your glare is one that he basks in as he pops the candy in his mouth.

“Winchester and Lafitte Automotive Repairs, this is Y/n speaking,” you say as you answer the phone, missing the way he smiles to himself and shakes his head as he walks away.

—

You sighed as the old clock on the wall behind your desk strikes seven o’clock, the last customer of the day having just picked up their car to take home. The stuffy heat had cooled off some now the the sun was beginning to dip lower in the sky now that evening rolled around, the fan set up in the corner helping just a little bit. Everything was cast in a golden orange hue as the sunlight streamed in, carrying with it the shadows of the pine trees standing tall on the other side of the road.

Your work day was cut a few hours shorter than it usually was since your arrival earlier that afternoon, but you were still just as tired, body fatigued from traveling. You were more than grateful that most of your stuff was already in your apartment here, the only things you’d brought having been your clothes and things you’d miss if you left it back at your place you shared with Sam.

“This place never runs quite as good without you, you know,” Benny says, nudging your shoulder as he passes behind you to snag his keys from the hook.

You smiled at his words, nodding softly as the sentiment brightened your mood a little bit more. “You ready to go?”

You stood from your chair and pushed it in as you stretched, grabbing your bag and slinging it over your shoulder. The look on Benny’s face when he’d turned around to face you was one that had you curious, cautious at that. It was apologetic and amused all in one, something that was far too indicative that what he was about to say was something you didn’t want to hear.

“Don’t be mad, but—”

You tilt your head and your expression falls neutral as your lips purse. “Why do I feel like I’m going to be mad?”

He started to pass you and round the corner, almost as if to dodge a bullet, said bullet being just about anything you could throw before he spoke up.

“I can’t take you back home, so…” he takes note of your souring mood and he holds a finger up as you walk out from behind the counter with crossed arms. “So, Dean’s gonna drive you home. I already put your bags in his car earlier.”

“You what?”

The two words were doubly shocked and equally displeased as you and the green eyed Winchester spoke them at the same time. When you turned you saw him wiping his hands on a rag before tossing it to the side, his brows furrowed.

“Do me a favor and try not to kill each other,” Benny smiled, one that was far too innocent for his own good because you knew for a fact he’d done it on purpose.

But he said nothing more as he tossed Dean his keys, kissing the top of your head before he slipped out the front door. You turned to look at Dean who’d looked at you, a mirrored look of pursed lips and furrowed brows shared between you two as silence engulfed the place for just a few moments.

“I call radio,” you say, his brow raising when you head towards the door.

“Like hell you do,” he calls after you.

You were lucky it was only a ten minute drive to get there, the tension thick as you got in the car. He turned the radio up with a sly smile and a laugh at your glare, dodging your swat to his shoulder.

“Do you listen to anything other than the same five songs, Dean?” You huff, elbow on the door as you rest your head on your hand.

“Not a chance, sweetheart,” he says, tapping the steering wheel as he pulls out of the gravel parking lot, engine revving as he sped down the road.

You look over at him to see the content smile sitting pretty on his lips, his arm resting on the edge of the open window as his hand settled at the very top of the door, the other rested loosely on the wheel. That very same Zepplin song was playing on the radio that you were convinced he listens to daily, in fact, you knew he did because that’s how Dean is.

“What?” He asks, amused curiosity in his tone.

“Nothing,” you say as you look away, biting the inside of your cheek.

“The hot shot lawyer’s got nothin’ to say, I’m shocked,” he says, faux surprise coating his tone.

“Will you cool it with the lawyer talk?” You huff, staving off the anger in your words with a soft shove to his shoulder.

To be fair, he didn’t know just why it was that you were back here earlier than you should be, he was just yanking your chain like he always did. But it became abundantly clear to him that there was more to it than just a little annoyance. That, paired with the look on your face earlier made it all the more clear for him to see that.

He looked over at you with furrowed brows, the dimples by the corners of his mouth appearing as he looked at you briefly before turning his attention back to the road. He may have cracked jokes and got on your nerves just as much as you did the same to him, but he knew you more than you realized, knew when something was more than just a joke to you. You’ve got this frown that you don’t even know you have, and you bite your lip. He even notices that you tap your foot too—he noticed the little things but he won’t admit it.

His jaw clenched as he turned the radio down a little, speeding up a bit more down the open road.

You’re quick to get out when you arrive at your apartment. It was a nice little place, a house rather, one split right down the middle. You’ve got the right side and Mrs. Allen’s got the left, a sweet older lady that’s lived there far longer than you. She makes a point to tell you you’re her favorite neighbor, and she makes a point to say something about you and Dean every time she sees him that makes your eyes roll.

You knew for a fact she’d say something in the morning.

You snagged one of your bags from the trunk and he grabbed the other, slinging it over his shoulder.

“You don’t have to carry my stuff, you know. I can do it myself,” you say, but you make no effort to grab it from him.

“I know you can.”

You sigh as you fish your keys from your pocket as you continue on up the walkway and up the steps of your porch, sticking them in the door. You drop your stuff down just inside the door with a sigh, grabbing the bag from his outstretched hand before you step inside and turn the front light on.

He stuffs his hands in his pockets, shifting on his feet as the words sit on the tip of his tongue. The very words he’s been thinking about since you’d gotten upset in the car even if you wouldn’t dare to admit it.

“Good night, Dean,” you say, offering a half smile as you go to close the door.

His palm presses to the door almost before you move to close it, and he steps forward a step or two. Your brows furrow as you lean against the doorframe, watching as his mouth opens and closes a few times, and he’s lost for words for a few moments. You don’t push and you don’t pry as you stand there curiously, arms having been crossed over your chest.

“I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings,” he starts, hesitant and a bit quieter as he scratches the back of his neck and clears his throat. “In the car, I mean.”

You stand there, and it takes a beating silence before he meets your gaze. The sincerity in his voice isn’t something you hear all too often in your direction, having always been jokes and witty sarcasm painted over his words but this, this was a little different.

“S’okay,” you say, pushing yourself off the doorframe.

He smiles then, a soft chuckle leaving his lips as he nods. “I’ll uh, I’ll see you tomorrow then.”

You nod at his words, the corner of your mouth tugging upwards. “Good night, Winchester.”

You let out the breath you’d been holding when you closed the door, back pressing to it as you tip your head back. The day you had left you more than tired, thoughts running wild with no end in sight. But the day wasn’t half bad, not really. The two of you had gotten on each other’s nerves every moment you get to do so, but maybe you missed him a little bit more than you thought. Maybe through the layers of wit and remarks there was a little part of you that missed the green eyed Winchester but you’d never admit it.

Unbeknownst to you, maybe he did too.

The rumble of his engine was clear as he pulled away and drove down the street, a huff leaving your lips as you rub your face as you lock the door behind you for the night.

—

Series taglist: @myloversgone @dean-is-sams-apple-pie

General taglist: @flamencodiva @stixnstripesworld @dean-is-sams-apple-pie @elegantbutedgy @humanmistakes @agalliasi @campingmonkey

#dean winchester #dean winchester series #dean winchester fanfiction #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester fic #dean winchester fluff #dean winchester x you #dean winchester angst

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foenixs · 5 years ago

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aight aight idk of this is a good request but monsta x as your employees or something and they're whipped af for you?? but make it nsfw 👉🏻👈🏻🥺🥺 it's v broad I know but do with this what you want

x shy anon

Monsta X as your whipped employees

note: I'm so sorry, I forgot the nsfw part 😭 (i didn't read over the request again before starting to write it) some of these hint at sexy time but they are mainly imagines for how they would behave around you and the office after realizing they like you more than they should

This is supposed to be a lil present for you, happy birthday! ❤

if you like my fics please reblog them with a nice comment or tag

POV: You are Monsta X's employer and they are whipped for you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Shownu : the servant

very hardworking; he doesn’t get distracted from his work easily but when you bend down a little too low to show him something on the screen, he turns his head away, blushing heavily

he’s very slick with the way he communicates with you, offering to make you a coffee and carrying things for you

does those things without a second thought because he wants to be useful (subconsciously he just wants to be close to you)

when you ask him why he is always following you around the office he starts to stutter, mumbling something about how he didn’t mean to be creepy he just wants to help you out, but you can tell by the way his breath hitches that there is some deeper meaning behind his actions

he ends up taking a job at another company so he can ask you out on a date (he doesn’t have to, but he wants to show you how serious he is and that he doesn’t just want to sleep his way to the top)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Wonho : the mess

becomes a blushing mess the minute he realises he has a crush on you

avoids eye contact when talking to you and tries to not bump into you in the office (which turns out to be harder than he thought because it’s not exactly a big office space)

he’s usually smart and quick on his feet but when you ask him a question now it takes him forever to answer and he often miscalculates numbers in his reports

you quickly notice how off he is and start to worry that something private might taint his mind, so you tell him to take a couple of days off and he looks at you with sad eyes thinking he is close to getting fired

he can’t stop thinking about you while he is at home and after his friends give him a kick in the ass to finally man up and confess to you, he calls you up, blurting “I love you” and instantly hanging up again

you pay him a visit and end up staying the night (and a couple more) and his concentration seems to return to normal as he can finally call himself yours

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Minhyuk : the comedian

starts his day by telling the joke of the day, gets everyone to laugh and raises the spirit in the office

his workspace is covered in post it notes with little scribbles he drew himself (“Shouldn’t you be working?”, you ask him as he is drawing again; “but this is work, a work of art, like you *wink*”)

surprisingly, he always hands in his reports on time and never makes any mistakes

he tells you up front that he is attracted to you, but you take it as one of his jokes

after years of working with him he asks you why you never made him your valentine (“Why would I?”; “Well, you’ve known that I like you for three years now and you haven’t fired me yet so I’m assuming you like me back, yet you’ve never asked me out.”)

when you tell him that you thought he was just play flirting he gets all serious, telling you that he would never joke about something like that

you take your time thinking about what he had said and how you felt about him but when the 14th of February comes around you slip him a post it note with a scribble of a heart and the question “Will you be my valentine?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kihyun : the daydreaming altruist

respect the authorities and elders is his number one principle, so he never dreamed of asking you out (it seemed unprofessional and rude to him), even when your sheer presence made his heart jump out of his chest

he tries to date other people, but he can’t push down his feelings for you, every time he ends up in someone’s bed, he can’t help but moan your name

cries himself to sleep because he doesn’t want to lose you, but he also can’t move on from you

he daydreams a lot while he’s at work and barely gets anything done

when his performance review comes in you are shocked to see his low numbers and confront him about it, he is apologetic and takes full blame, lowering his head in shame

“Gosh, you’re cute…”, you mumble to yourself, trying to figure out what to do with him, “tell me what hinders you from working. Be completely honest and don’t be scared about coming off as rude, I want us to find a solution, together.”

“You”, he admits, and his sudden bluntness almost makes you fall out of your chair (you settle on late night dates and his performance miraculously enhances)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hyungwon : the perfect balance

he’s considered the quiet one at the office so when he asks you to join him and his friends for a karaoke evening you are quite literally left speechless

he works hard and focused during the day and plans out crazy dates for the night

no one at the office expects you two to date since he is very good at hiding his feelings in public, but he makes sure you still feel appreciated and loved, cuddling into you and professing his love when you two are alone

you stay together for a long time, perfectly balancing your work and love life and eventho he gets job offers from other companies for higher pays, he stays loyal to you and your company till the end

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jooheon : the attention craver

tries to gain your attention as much as he can, thinking that’s gonna win you over

gets sulky when you don’t greet him in the morning, eventho you are clearly stressed

does everything you ask him to do and more (overachieves), knocking at your office door when he has finished his work to ask you if there’s anything else to be done (it gets to a point where you have no work for other employees left because he simply does too much, too fast)

when you tell him to go take a break you find him in the cafeteria, reading over his reports while his soup gets cold

“Do you really love working or do you just want to impress me?”, the question had been lingering on your mind for a while but when you finally confront him about it, he falls silent

he admits that he wants you to notice him and you tell him you do, but you are worried he’ll get a burnout

you tell him it’d be better if he left the company, for his own health, but before he breaks out into tears you ensure him that you have indeed fallen for him and this was the only plausible solution to ensure a serious future for you two

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Changkyun : the fuckboy

flirts with other colleagues to make you jealous, but it only makes you see him as a fuckboy

when you tell him to mature and leave his horniness at home, he becomes beat red, his confidence dying down in his throat

everyone has a crush on him (boy or girl) and you are surprised to find out he’s turning all of them down

he would never admit his feelings for you, and he is lowkey intimidated by your assertiveness, his facade shattering to pieces the second your hand lays on his shoulder

he wants nothing more than to be bent over that stupid desk of yours, writing drabbles about his imaginations

one day he accidently attaches one of his personal word documents to an email instead of his report and when he realises his mistake, he rushes to your office to tell you to please not open the email, but you already did, looking up at him with a raised eyebrow and a smirk, telling him to lock the door behind him

needless to say, he is your fuckboy now

masterlist

taglist: @euphoricsunflowers, @baa-nana, @vanillaknj, @mingiibabieee, @sub-hoshi-enthusiast, @soya-zz, @coeurbreak, @mellowriting , @submissive-bangtan

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mariahschoices · 6 years ago

Text

Unloveable

Pairing: Katsuki Bakugo x Reader/OC

Word Count: 2726

Theme: Angst (for now)

Part 2 of this story:

https://mariahschoices.tumblr.com/post/190002611367/beloved

Cold. Desperate. Alone. Numb. The quiet click-clack sounds of the clock on the wall slowed as you activated your quick, stretching the time between clicks from seconds, to minutes, to hours. It couldn’t be real. If you could slow down time, you wouldn’t have to accept your new reality. You wouldn’t have to accept what had happened. You tipped back the bottle in your hand, draining the last of its contents as you sat on the cold hardwood floor of your kitchen, blacking out from the truth. He was gone.

Ten years ago. UA High School.

Bakugo half listened as he stared out the window of the classroom. Aizawa was droning on about some bullshit he’d already studied months ago. Bakugo took it upon himself to learn as much as he could so that he stayed ahead of his classmates. He was determined to become the number one hero. The explosive quirk that he possessed allowed him to essentially fly, blow shit up, and put any villain that got in his way in their place. It wasn’t enough to possess a powerful quirk, however. He also trained for countless hours each day, making sure that he was in peak physical condition, regardless of his quirk. There were quirk erasing drugs being developed after all, and he had to be prepared for any kind of fight. He also studied more than anyone realized, making sure that his grades stayed at the top of his class, even though to his peers, it seemed like he couldn’t care less about the “wisdom” his teachers sought to bless him with.

Bakugo’s thoughts drifted to the events of yesterday’s training session. He had been paired with a female student from class 1B. He didn’t even know your name, but he knew of you due to the remarkable quirk that you possessed. You had the ability to slow down or speed up time for yourself, as well as anyone you happened to be touching at the time. Your amazing abilities allowed you to slow down your perception of reality and the events occurring around you, allowing you to easily anticipate and dodge physical attacks and predict the movements of villains, or in this case, Bakugo. It was really quite enchanting to watch you fight. To the onlookers in the class, your movements were nearly imperceptible, as you were able to stay one step ahead of your opponent. You even got a few hits in on Bakugo before he came to his senses and blew you away, landing flat on your ass at the edge of the training grounds.

Bakugo’s cheeks flushed pink as he thought about the way you’d walked away from the match with grace, even with an injury, still proud of your progress and your ability to land more than one hit on the highly ranked student from class 1A.

Bakugo’s blush transformed and evolved into red as anger and embarrassment overtook his feelings. How could he allow some extra to get a hit in on him, much less more than one?

The bell rang, signaling that it was time for lunch. Bakugo found his usual seat beside of Kirishima, who paused his conversation only momentarily to acknowledge Bakugo before continuing on about how “manly” yesterday’s match had been.

Bakugo’s eyes roamed the lunchroom, deciding to look for you against his own accord. He didn’t want to become distracted from his goals over a few hits some random extra from 1B had gotten in on him. His eyes found yours from across the room, pulling your attention from your meal like a magnetic force. Bakugo left his seat, deciding to give you a piece of his mind.

“Hi, Bak-” he stopped you before you could even finish greeting him, noting as his face took on a sneer, his eyes squinted in your direction as he looked at you with what could only be described as disgust.

“Listen, you’re nothing but a shitty extra. You will never touch me again. Your quirk is shitty and you should just give up trying to be a hero. I wish you would just speed up time so we could leave this school and I could beat your ass and never have to see your ugly face again! I will become the number one hero!”

He didn’t know why he was so compelled to blow up on you, physically and metaphorically. He’d never fought someone like you before, and he didn’t like the way it made him feel. He’d always somewhat admired your quirk, but he couldn’t allow anyone to get in his way of becoming the top hero on the food chain.

Tears started to well in your eyes at his cruel display. You knew Bakugo was pretty notorious around UA for being an ass, but you figured he would at least respect you due to your powerful quirk. You swore you thought that you’d even seen a glimmer of admiration in his eye yesterday, before he’d come to his senses and blown you up of course. You couldn’t refrain from unleashing the word vomit that climbed up your throat like bile in response to Bakugo’s outburst.

“Fuck you, Bakugo. I will be a hero. it doesn’t matter how strong you are, because no one will ever love an asshole like you, no matter how many people you save. You’re an emotionless, unloveable dick!”

Bakugo’s hands crackled in anger. He wanted to blast your fucking face off. Barely containing his fury, he adjusted the blast to direct just in front of you, blowing up the lunch table and sending the remainder of your food flying in all directions. He quickly left the lunch room, which was still filled with students that had been stunned into silence. He quickly darted out of the room, turning the corner before anyone could see the glistening of tears that threatened to spill out from his eyes. He would show everyone how great of a hero he could be.

Ten years and six months forward. Present day.

Bakugo unlocked his apartment door with heavy-lidded eyes, acting as a barely functioning zombie, only able to perform routine tasks that didn’t require much thought or effort. Another exhausting day of hero work. He shoved his shoes off by the door, shuffling to his bedroom to take off the rest of his hero costume. The day had started with another irritating interview. He’d had to share the stage with fucking Deku, as the pair currently designated the top of the hero list. No one could deny that Bakugo was stronger, smarter, and obviously better looking than Deku, but he simply couldn’t beat the nerd in the eyes of public opinion. Though he had softened somewhat over the years, Bakugo still wasn’t a kiss ass, politically correct, family friendly hero. He was there to do a job and that job was to kick villain ass. All the interviewer could be bothered with was questions about his personal life, not about how many people he had saved or how important his work was.

After the interview, he'd had to resume his normal patrols and hero work, saving over 30 civilians in a shopping center attack. But, of course Deku had been nearby due the recently conducted interview, having shown up at the last minute to smile for the cameras and answer questions for the journalists, essentially getting credit for the win by doting on his adoring public.

Bakugo just wanted to crawl into bed and sleep through the next day. He was finally getting a day off from work for the first time in nearly a month. He’d been invited out for drinks by Kirishima, the only person he’d kept in touch with from UA, and the closest person to what he could call a friend.

He took a quick shower and got redressed, telling himself that he’d just have one drink and then be able to go home and go to sleep. Shitty Hair had a wife and kids now after all, and he couldn’t be out too late without catching a shit fit from his woman. Bakugo had to take Kirishima up on his offers to hang out whenever they were offered, due to them both having busy schedules in addition to his duty to make time for family life.

Bakugo didn’t have his own family. Kirishima was the closest and only thing he had in the way of friendships, and he was extremely single. Sure, he was a man with needs and he’d had his fair share of one night stands with Ground Zero groupies who’d wanted to have angry sex for one night only that they could tell all of their friends about. But Bakugo had never really had a relationship, unless you counted the three-week-long distraction he’d had with his last assistant, before she was reassigned to another hero.

Bakugo scrolled through his socials, waiting on Kirishima to get back from the bar with their drinks. A notification popped up, alerting him that a DM had been sent, probably from another wannabe hero fucker. Opening up his inbox, the round profile picture accompanying the new message caught his attention.

His thoughts went back to that day in the lunch room. The words that were spoken there had haunted him for years, becoming louder and louder in his mind’s eye as the burnout and exhaustion from hero work started to take over his daily life. The name accompanying the side of the photo confirmed his suspicions. It was you, sending him a message when he hadn’t seen you in over ten years. He couldn’t help his curiosity as he clicked to read what you had to say.

“Hi, Bakugo. Or should I say Ground Zero now? Anyway, you may not remember me, but I was hoping I could meet up with you. I have something I’d like to discuss with you, and I think it would be best if we talked in person.”

You had just finished reading the message whenever Kirishima returned to the booth with your drinks. Upon seeing your slightly dazed expression, his eyes connected with the image of the classmate you two had shared many years ago.

“What’s up, man? Why is she messaging you?”

Kirishima was the only person who really knew how your words had effected him all of those years ago, slowly eating away at him as he worked his way up in the hero world, while his personal life simultaneously suffered. Maybe there had been some validity to your statements all of those years ago. After all, Bakugo was going home to an empty apartment, while the majority of your peers were living fulfilling lives and had families of their own.

“I don’t know, Shitty Hair,” Bakugo spat out, his first response in most social interactions being frustration. “She wants to meet up with me in person to talk about something.”

“Well, you’re off tomorrow. Message her back. it’s not like you have anything better to do,” Kirishima admonished, encouraging you to seek some social interaction outside of himself and your work.

Curiosity outweighing his better judgement, Bakugo began to type out a response to the girl whose words he’d never been able to quite get out of his head.

“Hey, there’s a coffee shop near my apartment....”

__________________________________________

The next day, you sat across Bakugo at the cafe, clinging to your coffee cup like a lifeline. He’d insisted on paying for your drinks, even though you had been the one to invite him out. The action had surprised you, and you continued to mull over this thought as a distraction whenever he interrupted your internal monologue.

“Well, I’m here. What was so important that you wanted to meet up? You know I’m busy being the top hero around here. Don’t you know that my time is important?” Bakugo couldn’t let you know that he’d actually had the day off, and that you’d probably saved him from another day of dreaded self-reflection.

You decided to let it slide that Deku was actually the top hero, focusing on what was important, and the reason that you had decided to message Bakugo in the first place.

“I, so, you know we went to school together...” you started awkwardly, not really knowing how to approach the topic at hand with someone so brash as Bakugo.

“Tch, no shit. Tell me something that I don’t already know,” he interrupted.

Deciding to try and be as direct as possible, you started again.

“Bakugo, I contacted you because I need to apologize, as part of my program. It is one of the twelve steps to make amends with anyone we feel we have harmed.”

Your words instantly quieted Bakugo; meanwhile, his inner thoughts were taking a wild ride. Program? Apology? Surely you couldn’t be talking about that day. He had been such an ass in school, to you and to nearly everyone else, and he couldn’t really blame you for what you’d said that day. After all, you had been right. He didn’t have anyone is his life that really loved him.

“About six months ago, my husband passed away,” you swallowed, struggling to continue, “he passed away during the League of Villains attack at the college. He sacrificed himself to get that room of students evacuated In time...”

Bakugo was familiar with the incident. He had been called in as backup, but it was too late to save your husband. He was a decent enough guy as far as Bakugo knew. A minor league hero that he was familiar with. Truthfully, at the time, he had admired him for his sacrifice, almost wishing that it had been him instead. After all, he knew that the hero had a wife at home who would be left a widow, even though he hadn’t known it was you, and....

He stopped his train of thought before his expression could give anything away. After all, how could he sit there feeling sorry for himself whenever he was sitting across from the very woman who had been left behind.

“Anyway, when he passed away. I went into a very deep depression that was nearly impossible for me to get out of. I used my quirk to slow down the passing of time. I couldn’t face the thought of his funeral, so I just drank and drank until I couldn’t feel anymore...”

Bakugo watched as the first tear spilled over your red-rimmed eyes, giving away that this wasn’t your first bout of tears today. He resisted the urge to reach out and wipe the tear from your cheek.

“Anyway, I stretched time to the point where a matter of days felt more like months for me, and I finally realized I needed help whenever Uraraka came over and took me to the hospital. They had to pump my stomach and I entered a rehab facility... now as part of the program I need to make amends with you Bakugo. It may not have even affected you at all, I know you’re a really strong person and nothing gets to you, but that day in the lunch room, when I told you that you were unloveable...” you paused, choking on air as the tears that spilled out threatened to overwhelm you, “I am truly sorry. I know what it feels like to have love gone from your life, and I truly wouldn’t wish that on anyone.”

Bakugo didn’t know what to say or do. How could you sit here and apologize after what you had been through? He didn’t deserve your tears, and he felt an undercurrent of emotions that he hadn’t felt in a very long time towards anyone. Sympathy and regret.

“You don’t need to apologize, but thank you.”

Bakugo’s words dried up your tears almost instantly, and you couldn’t help the look of surprise that crossed your features.

“You were right, actually. About what you said.”

Clearly he wasn’t remembering the day in question the same way that you were. Bakugo was a top hero. Obviously he was loved. He had thousands of fans. He had gotten everything he’d ever wanted and worked towards.

“I’m sorry, Bakugo. Let me explain. When I said you were...”

“An unloveable dick?” he interrupted.

“An unloveable dick - yes, wait... so you do remember?” you yelped out with surprise.

“I do. And you were right.”

#bnha #katsuki bakugo x reader #my fic #bakugou #bakugou x reader #bakugou imagine #bakugou katsuki x reader #bakugo katsuki #bakugou scenarios #bnha writing blog #bnha x reader #mha #my hero academia

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shirtlesssammy · 6 years ago

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10x22: The Prisoner

Hey Guys! We’re finally done with recapping all of Andrew Dabb’s episodes this week. For the rest of hiatus we’re doing a mix of favorites and not-so-favorites (*cough* finally addressing some of the Buckleming episodes *cough*) Six weeks until the final season. Agh!

Shreveport, Louisiana

Nerd Boy Styne leaves school only to be harassed by local burnouts. They want to know how much of a virgin he is (um, is there a gradient on that?) (Natasha: Virginity. Is. A. Construct.) Nerd Boy bites back HARD which does not sit well with Alpha burnout.

He’s pushed to the ground but is “saved” by his older brother. I get the feeling that he’d rather take his chances with the burnouts.

Later, Alpha Burnout is enjoying his Slushy and stayin’ alive when he notices a car following him. He takes off but runs into Older Brother Styne. Styne #2 creeps up and puts a plastic bag over his head and bye bye burnout.

*FFFFFUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKK ALERT*

Sam and Dean are building Charlie’s pyre. We get flashbacks as they burn her body. Sam tries to say some words but Dean is full of rage and doesn’t want to hear it.

He even goes so far to tell Sam that he should be on that pyre instead of her. Oh boy. He tells Sam to stop what they’re doing to help him. The Mark isn’t going to kill him. Meanwhile, he WILL find who killed Charlie and end them all.

Nerd Boy Styne is busy playing video games and chatting with a friend. He has plans on moving to LA, but can’t tell his family because they’re scary and will kill him. His older brother lets him know their father wants to see him.

Cut to the elder Styne (listen, I HATE this storyline, I HATE that they killed Charlie, I HATE it all. I am not putting any effort into finding out any of their names. They’re all just Styne #1-4 to me.) He’s berating Styne with no arm about not getting the book and losing his arm. He tells his father about the bunker’s lore.

First, he’s got to get a new arm, so they bring in Nerd Boy (Fine, Nerd Boy can have a name-- it’s Cyrus) and show him Alpha Burnout and tell him to carve him up. He doesn’t want to. Jesus, his dear old dad says he’s going to do this or his dad will do it and then he’ll tie up Cyrus and do the same to him. W o W.

Dean calls another hunter, Rudy, about a lead on the Stynes.

Cas and Rowena continue to work on the Book of the Damned.

For Too Much Beauty in One Shot Science:

Sam comes back and wordlessly tells Cas that Charlie is gone. Sam then says that Dean knows and that he promised Dean that he would shut down their little plan. Rowena, still the delightful antagonist here, wants to know what’s going on. They opt not to fill her in. Cas asks the only important question: “What about Dean?” Sam looks at the GPS on his phone pointing to where the Impala is when he gets an email from Charlie. It’s the codex. Rowena can now read the Book of the Damned.

Sam tasks Cas with finding Dean. Sam’s going to keep with their plan. He’s going to save his brother.

He then demands that Rowena read the Book. She’s not so inclined right now. She wants Crowley dead first.

Back at Casa Styne, the burnout is dead and brother Styne has a new arm. Cyrus is devastated.

Dean’s made it to Louisiana and gets pulled over by the cops. They dare to knock out Baby’s rear lights and Dean goes for one of the cops and gets arrested for his effort. I mean, I’m really surprised at the restraint Dean shows here? He doesn’t fight really. He could have busted up both the cops with little effort.

At Phil’s Diner, Crowley enjoys the best cup of coffee he’s ever had (and I’m enjoying the midcentury set design!).

Seth, the server, tells him that he learned how to make a good cup in Ecuador. Next, he’d like to head to Asia. It’s just a dream though. Crowley is in the business of making dreams come true. He gets a call from Dean before he can seal any dream making deals though. Then he gets a text with where to meet Dean --in Kansas, not Louisiana.

Dean’s at the sheriff’s station having his entire rock alias collection uncovered (not to mention the secret arsenal of weapons in the Impala). The officer wants to know who Dean is. “I’m the guy who’s going to get out of here in about 30 seconds.” He then proceeds to knock a mug of pens over. The guy comes over to Dean and Dean promptly gets him in a headlock, demands the handcuff’s keys and knocks the guy out cold. I’d say that took maybe 15 seconds.

Dean finds the sheriff talking to someone on the phone.

He butts him with a gun once for lying and once again for hurting his car. He then demands the sheriff tell him who he was talking to --one of the Stynes, but they own this town and there’s no way Dean can take on this family. Challenge Accepted! (Also: let’s just temporarily think about Dean saying: “Yeah, well I kill gods” as we head into the final season.)

Crowley makes a fabulous entrance into a nasty warehouse, looking for Dean. <Insert 8,000 booty call jokes here> Sam shoots him with a devil’s trap bullet. Sam reveals that he lured Crowley there with a faked phone call from Dean. He flourishes the demon-killing knife and a hex bag, before stuffing the bag into Crowley’s pocket. Oh, and he has a final message from Rowena: “She should’ve taken the three pigs.” Sam x Rowena: murder couple extraordinaire!

Dean casually kills his way into the Styne compound and it’s half James Bond ease and half YIKES OH NO KILLER DEAN BEAN.

Inside, several people point guns at Dean surprise-party-style, while another Styne sneaks a plastic bag onto his face, smothering him. (Query: why are there no women in this family except the single hot nurse? Lame.)

Sam continues to listen to Crowley monologue as he slowly crumples under Rowena’s curse. Crowley insists that he’s been creating a friendlier Hell. “I thought if I did better, I might actually feel something again. That it might matter.” Sam reminds Crowley - and us - that he’s killed a lot of people we care about. Crowley admits to being monstrous and he looks up at Sam. His eyes glow red as he rises, tosses out the bullet, and thanks Sam for jolting him back into his true King-of-Hell give-’em-hell mindset.

Sam started Crowley on his human journey, so I guess it’s fitting that he’s ended it as well.

Dean wakes up on the Styne operating slab. They tell him they’ll kill him and harvest him. (So, like, just do it and quit the smirky speeches?) Dean points out the Mark - he can’t die but he CAN come back as a demon so...don’t say he didn’t warn you. In very little time, Dean dispatches the entire operating theater, killing Elder Styne riiiight in the middle of his evil villain monologue. (For that, we applaud you, Crazed Killer Dean.)

The other Stynes break into the bunker, which is currently unoccupied. They plan to loot and then burn it which, yep, seems pretty much on par with what we’ve seen of these yahoos.

Sam calls Rowena and tells her about the failed hex bag. Rowena’s entirely unimpressed at Sam’s killing prowess and snaps at him to finish the job he started. Mmmhmmm yesss gurl!

Cas calls Sam from the Styne estate. It’s a bloody mess; Dean took out the whole dumb Styne storyline - I mean, family. Now, Dean’s headed back to the bunker.

In the bunker, Cyrus digs through books while Formerly-One-Arm makes dick commentary like, “So this is what I know about Dean Winchester. He's got crappy taste in music, got a hot mom, and he loves flannel.” Man, what I wouldn’t give for a late-season Mary Winchester to show these Stynes what’s what! They finish piling stuff in the middle of the library and pour fuel over everything. A single match gets dramatically lit when the other Styne Stooge stumbles in, stabbed.

Dean Winchester appears, covered in blood and looking so pissed that he’s practically on the other side of the emotion by now.

Formerly-One-Arm Styne disrespects Charlie and, despite Dean’s dead-eyed stare, we’re really ready for Dean to let go and beat this jerk down. Without further preamble, Dean shoots him in the head. Dean then threatens Cyrus, who begs for mercy. He doesn’t have monstrous stitches and he hates his family! (Though it’s strongly implied that Cyrus is complicit in his bully’s death and de-arming.) “There's bad in you,” Dean tells him in response. “It's in your blood. Now you can deny it and you can run from it all you want, but that bad will always win.” Oh, Dean Bean. The Mark’s got you well and truly hooked now. Dean kills Baby Styne.

Cas walks in, horrified by what Dean’s done.

….And then they hug it out and go for milkshakes!

Right?

Ugh, okay. Fine. Cas confronts Dean about his faulty moral compass.

Dean flares up about Sam and Cas’s secret project to cure Dean. Cas insists that Dean needs help. “Maybe you could fight the Mark for years. Maybe centuries, like Cain did. But you cannot fight it forever. And when you finally turn, and you will turn. Sam, and everyone you know, everyone you love...they could be long dead. Everyone except me. I'm the one who will have to watch you murder the world. So if there's even a small chance that we can save you, I won't let you walk out of this room.”

Dean continues to glare at Cas.

……..And then they hug it out and go for milkshakes!

(Boris and I will take just a moment to picture Cas staying by Dean’s side for centuries. Please do not mind the sound of quiet weeping.)

Instead of milkshakes and hugs, there’s a terrible fight where Cas only defends and doesn’t attack. He begs Dean to stop his march into darkness and in response Dean beats him bloody. He pulls out Cas’s angel blade and raises it to strike. As Dean hovers above his bloodied friend, Cas simply says, “Please…”

Dean stabs a nearby book instead, and stalks out of the bunker leaving nothing but terrible feelings in all of us - and a clear threat of future murderous intent.

______________________________

The Mark of Quotes is Changing You!

An angel that rejected Heaven. That's like a fish that wants to fly, or a dog that thinks he's people. I’d be happy to kill her, she just called me a fish.

You got seventeen fake I.D.'s, and a trunk full of guns, knives, freakin' ninja stars... I mean, who are you, man?

Aren’t you a clever kitty?

You can save me the speech on the three hearts, the two spleens, the seven nipples, for the ladies... or the fellas, I don't judge.

______________________________

Want to read more? Check out our Recap Archive!

#spn recap #spn rewatch #spn 10x22 #the prisoner #dean winchester #sam winchester #castiel #cas #crowley #rowena #supernatural season 10

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drmannimal · 6 years ago

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So you want to be a veterinarian...

Ask a handful of children what they want to be when they grow up and there’s a good chance that someone will say veterinarian. It has long been a dream career of many animal lovers, but is it right for you?

I fall into the “it’s all I’ve ever wanted to be” category. For as long as I can remember I was telling my parents that I was going to be a veterinarian. Human medicine? No, thank you. While I thought I had a pretty good understanding of veterinary medicine before I started veterinary school, I soon realized I didn’t know it all. That being said, veterinary medicine is definitely the right career for me. This post will go over the process of becoming a veterinarian, and the pros and cons of the job.

How do I become a Veterinarian?

To become a veterinarian, you must attend veterinary school. In North America, these programs are typically four years long.

Pre-Veterinary School Depending on where you live, there are prerequisites you must complete before applying to veterinary school. Many programs require completion of a four year undergraduate degree, taking some specific required courses. Some schools only require 20 prerequisite undergraduate courses (two years) in order to apply. The admissions process is competitive so keeping competitive grades is advantageous, though a 4.0 is not necessary. Good, but not great, grades do not mean you’re immediately cast aside. There are other components to your application. Many applications include veterinary/animal experience and extra circulars. During high school and undergraduate you should participate in a variety of clubs and volunteer activities. This makes you a more well rounded applicant, and also can be quite enjoyable. Some examples: - volunteer at a veterinary clinic: I personally believe everyone should spend time in a veterinary clinic before applying to veterinary school, regardless of importance for application. This will allow you to see what the job actually involves. - volunteer at farms, wildlife clinics, SPCAs etc. - 4-H or similar. - Student government (leadership, communication). - Pre-vet society/club. - Any other club/society on campus, ie. biology society, GSA, yearbook etc. Some schools, especially in the USA, require letters of recommendation. The school may specify who they are looking for letters from (i.e. vet, professor, etc). Make sure you make positive connections with the people you work with in order to allow for a positive recommendation. Finally, standardized testing is required by most veterinary schools, specifically the GRE (Graduate Record Examination). More information about this can be found online.

As a Canadian student, you may only apply to your regional Canadian school, unless you would like to apply internationally. As an American student, you can apply to a large number of schools within your county. Research each school as many have specific areas of interest, different cost, different living style etc. After applying to veterinary school, many schools will then invite candidates for an interview. The type of interview varies depending on the school so make sure you look into the specifics of each school you will be interviewed at. Veterinary School I will give you specifics of my education as an example, though all veterinary schools differ. In general, be prepared for a lot of work. You will be taking many classes at once. For example, I was often taking 10 courses per semester. Many of these courses included a laboratory component. A large number of classes equates to a large amount of home preparation and studying. Midterm season at my school was typically weeks long. The work load is certainly manageable, don’t let that alone scare you off, though it does take a lot of dedication and planning. The most important piece of advice I have in regards to course load is to make sure you still find time for yourself. Without taking care of yourself and constantly studying, you will burnout. My school had three years of course work, followed by one year of clinical practice. During the three pre-clinical years, we did have exposure to animals throughout labs and shifts in the clinic. We first perform surgery in third year under supervision of the course doctors. For the most part, the pre-clinical years followed a pretty general schedule (other than surgery duties). Starting class at 8 and being done by 4. There are opportunities outside of courses to get involved with clinical/medical activities. Veterinary school have a large variety of clubs that may offer these extra opportunities - ie. pathology club necropsies, exotic animal club medical producers, internal medicine club cadaver labs... There may be opportunity with a local stray spay/neuter program through your school to get extra experience with surgery as well. Clinical year is a whole new ball game. At my school the year was broken into three week segments. Each segment you are placed somewhere new - i.e.. three weeks in the surgery department, three weeks in radiology, three weeks at an external clinic of your choosing... This year takes you away form the classroom and puts you into “doctor” mode. Keep in mind that each veterinary school operates on a different schedule (some introducing clinical earlier in the program) and that this is my personal experience. What your duties are will depend on the school as well. During my clinical year, student are involved in client communication, history taking, diagnostic planning, treatment administration, clinical skills, participation in surgery, etc. All under direct supervision. The hours for this portion of schooling are not predictable and definitely do not run 8-4. Many placements include after hours care of the patients, on-call work, lengthly paperwork, etc. All while studying for the dreaded NAVLE. Even though it was often dreadful, clinical year was my favourite year of veterinary school. Everything started to come together and honestly, it was a lot of fun.

NAVLE In North America, in order to practice veterinary medicine, you must past the licensing examination, the NAVLE. This is a 360 question multiple choice test that encompasses everything you have studied throughout veterinary school. Your school will help you apply and register when the time comes. You will technically be preparing for the NAVLE all of veterinary school but will specifically study for it in your final year. There are preparatory courses that you may purchase and your school may host review classes. The test is written in December and April.

So those are the cliff-notes of how to become a veterinarian. Feel free to reach out to me if you have any questions, would like clarification or would like me to go further into detail.

So after all of that, what are the pros and cons?

Lets not beat around the bush, starts with the cons:

Debt - veterinary school is NOT cheap and the income does not match the level of debt obtained. The majority of students will graduate with $100,000-$200,000+ in debt. This is not unmanageable, though it can be daunting.

Extensive training - veterinary school is not easy, and it is not for everyone. You will need to be knowledgeable about many species and many subjects.

Working with owners - “I want to be a vet because I don’t like people”, just no. This is a customer service career. You will speak to people every day. You will have to convince people to spend hundreds or thousands of dollars on their pets. You will get yelled at, told you’re in it for the money, probably threatened at some point.

Working within a budget - unlike human doctors, we really need to think about the cost of each and every thing we do. You will often have owners come in with $100 dollars to their name and a very sick animal, you need to figure out what the options are in each instance.

Euthanasia - many people find this one of the more difficult parts of the job. I personally believe it’s how you look at it. Euthanasia can be a wonderful gift. I do not euthanize healthy animals.

Work-place hazards - our patients can be aggressive and difficult to handle. This is often due to stress or being scared, but it is a danger to veterinary staff. You need to understand how to read signals and prevent dangerous situations from happening. Veterinarians are also exposed to chemicals, radiation, heavy lifting etc.

Hours - depending on where you work, the hours can be gruelling. Not everyone has the luxury of a 40 hour work week. We often stay late (for no extra pay) finishing cases, tending to patients, calling clients, doing paperwork, etc. Many veterinarians must perform on-call duties. This may lead to 2 hours of sleep between shifts.

Responsibility - every decision we make is life or death. The type of drug, the dose, surgery, etc. The job carries a huge amount of responsibility that can be very stressful for certain people.

Ok, so despite all of that, I’m still a veterinarian. I still love my job. Why?

Debt - yes, I have a huge amount of debt. Is it manageable, yes. There are many people in the world who have more debt than me. I hate that its becoming normal for people to have debt, but it is.

Extensive training - vet school sucked, but it was also awesome. I know so much about so many things. I’m proud of the level of knowledge I gained while in vet school. I’m proud of the person I have become through my extensive training.

Working with owners - the vast majority of my clients are absolutely wonderful. There are owners that light up my day, that I look forward to talking to, that remind me how much I love my job. We have many lovely reviews written about us, cards sent in, treats brought in for staff etc. For every person that gets mad at me for cost, there are many more that are understanding and work with me to find a solution within their budget

Working within a budget - this is a con no matter what way you look at it, though I can say that when you’re willing to work with owners and help them within their means, they are often very thankful. There are many cases you can help within a tight budget.

Euthanasia - I tell every owner that euthanasia is a gift. We get to take away pain and suffering. This makes it much easier for me to deal with this on a daily basis.

Work-place hazards - proper training and education can help minimize hazards. Low stress handling, proper restraint etc.

Hours - not every job has horrible hours. I work, on average 40 hours a week. Some days I stay a little late to finish up, but it usually doesn't bother me. Yes, I do on-call but it is not very often. I have a great work life balance. You need to take this into consideration when looking for a job.

Responsibility - you get to call the shots, you get to save lives, help pets, help owners. You do not have to do it alone. There are so many resources out there to help. It’s definitely scary and daunting the first few years out, but its also very satisfying. Confidence grows day by day.

You get to live you dream job.

You get to be a part of an amazing team that shares the same goals as you.

You get to impact the lives of so many people and their pets.

You get to be an ambassador of the animals.

You get to go to work and learn something new every single day.

So, still think veterinary medicine is for you? Reach for the stars <3

#veterinary medicine #veterinarian #vet #vetmed #vetblr #vet student #vet school #veterinary #veterinary school

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lostinletoland · 6 years ago

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Bright Lights - Part Seventeen

Part Sixteen

Masterlist

Sophia’s POV:

The ride from the restaurant to my apartment was tense. A part of me felt bad for pushing him away, but right now hurtful memories invaded my mind and I needed some space or that was what I thought. I knew I would have to provide an explanation to Jared, but I felt mentally drained and didn’t feel like talking.

I let out a sigh once we were already in my bedroom, I was feeling like I had the longest day ever. After waiting impatiently all day to see my man again, came the unexpected news: I would have to move to the States. After that was my date with Jared and his little games, and the odd encounter with Nicolas was like rubbing salt in an old wound.

“Jared… I know we should talk about what happened, but I just want to sleep. Can we talk tomorrow?” I said as I began unbuttoning my shirt.

“Sure, do you want a massage before bed?” Jared asked tenderly mimicking me and undressing himself.

“Would you stop being so nice?” I spat angrily, although I wasn’t angry with him, but it was the burnout the one who spoke. “Sorry,” I apologized immediately. “I just want to sleep.” I repeated.

“Fine.” Jared replied dryly. Instantly I felt terrible for being rude with him, since my problems weren’t his fault, but my frustration brought out the best of me.

Tomorrow would be a big day; I would be immersing myself into his life, completely. The best thing we could do right now, would be to have a good night’s rest. Without saying another word we went to bed, and unlike the previous times we had shared a bed, this time we didn’t snuggled.

I woke up suddenly, panting. A thin layer of sweat covered my nervous body; I felt suffocated and needed fresh air. The nightmare I had seemed terribly real, it looked like I was trapped again in Nicolas’ cage. I sat on the bed and saw it was three in the morning, and Jared was sleeping peacefully by my side. Despite the anguish I felt I couldn’t help but smile at seeing him sleep. He was on his stomach, and his lips were slightly parted, I even heard a slight snore: it was adorable.

I got out of bed and grabbed Jared’s shirt, the one he had worn the day before and was in a chair. After smelling it, I took off my nightie and put his shirt on. Wearing his clothes made me feel safe and comfortable as if he was hugging me. And although last night I bluntly refused his affection, the truth was that I desired it.

I was about to leave the room when I heard my name. “Sophia…” Jared’s sleepy voice made me stop my moves and turn around again. “What are you doing?” I perceived his silhouette moving on the bed, and then he sat leaning on the headboard.

“I can’t sleep. I had this terrible dream…” My voice sounded shakier than I expected.

“Come here, beauty.” I overheard Jared patting the mattress before turning the bedside light on. I went to the bed and sat next to him without hesitation this time. Jared’s arms immediately covered my body and placed me on his lap. We were face to face now and I was straddling him.

“Jared, I’m sorry for being mean earlier.” These were my first words once I was feeling secure in his fond embrace.

“Don’t worry,” Jared said as he tenderly caressed my hair. “do you want to talk about yesterday or your nightmare?” I shut my eyes and nodded.

“Well… 6 years ago when I was 24, I started working in a company. It was an excellent opportunity for me, you know? One day I met Nick in a cafeteria, and we started to hang out together, after a while I thought we were kinda dating. He seemed good.” I made a pause when a shiver ran over my body, now I knew he was anything but good. Jared’s thumb had stroked my cheek before I continued with my explanation.

“After a couple of months, I found out he was my boss and I was working really hard to develop my own career. I didn’t have a lot of feelings for him and thought the best for me was end the relationship because I didn’t want to be romantically involved with my boss and my work was devalued…” I looked into Jared’s eyes and saw something I would describe as anxiety? I wasn’t sure, but he seemed uneasy with my last statement.

“You told him? What happened?” He asked as I took a deep breath before narrating the unpleasant part of the story. My hands that were around his neck began trembling; the memory was so vivid in my mind that it still caused me angst. Jared was tenderly rubbing my back as I spoke.

“Yes, I did. And then he showed his true colors. Long story short, he likes to manipulate people to feel superior or some shit like that.” I was feeling my eyes became watery, I was going to explain my nightmare in a few seconds. “And when I told him, he didn’t take it well and blackmailed me. Apparently, he…”

“What?!” Jared disgustedly exclaimed and his body tensed, and his hands stopped his actions on my hips. I knew he wouldn’t like what he was about to hear; my wobbly palms were now resting on his naked chest trying to keep him calm even if I was a mess.

“Try to stay calm, Jared. Please let me finish…” He nodded when my voice cracked and tried to suppress a sob. “He is a pervert. He was blackmailing me with a video of one of our sexual encounters… I couldn’t believe it at first, I thought he was just bluffing. B-But then…” My tears were already running down my face. “Then he showed me part of the sex tape and used it to keep our sex relation. Every time I tried to get away from Nicolas, he played dirty. Reminding me that he’d tell everyone I sleep with the boss and they wouldn’t value my effort. He knew that was important for me and was beneficing himself…”

His sky-blue eyes were darker now, I could tell he was furious because the veins below his right eye were visible. But his actions were gently and that’s what I needed: Jared wiped my tears from my cheeks before hugging me completely. I rested my head on his shoulder as he wrapped me.

“How did you get out of there?” He asked after a few minutes of silence.

“Eventually he got bored and found another girl to play with. It’s his thing…” I shrugged siting back and looking at him. “But I was a year or so under his blackmailing, it was horrible. Then I looked for a job on another agency. That’s why I was acting awkward when we encountered him. And I feel like I ruined our night, sorry…” I whispered closing my eyes for a moment.

“Don’t be sorry, beauty. It wasn’t your fault…” Jared hands were both sides of my face. “I’m sorry you had to go through that.” He placed a gently kiss over my nose. “But I swear I want to kick Nicolas ass right now.” His voice was tinged with anger. I put my index finger on his sensual lips to shut him down.

I was feeling much better now, I had the opportunity to tell him the truth and I took a load off. And the libido that had disappeared hours earlier was starting to reappear. Having Jared shirtless in front of me and with some of his veins more visible made him extremely inviting. I brought my eager lips to his neck and planted an open-mouthed kiss there. “Can we play now?” I whispered in his ear.

“Wait, wait. I have to tell you something.” Jared stopped me grabbing my shoulders.

“What?” I asked confused looking at him.

“I think I have to be honest with you after what you’ve told me.” He was serious, whatever he wanted to say was a big deal. I lifted my eyebrows and nodded. “I don’t want you to feel you are in this situation again, it would be best if you know the truth from the beginning…”

“What truth?” I didn’t quite know what he was talking about.

“Do you remember that during dinner you told me that you received an offer from a guy named Bartholomew Cubbins to redesign his house?” Jared seemed nervous as he was carefully formulating the question.

“Yeeesss… why?” I bit my lip unsure of where he was going with this whole thing.

“Well, I’m that guy.” My heart skipped a beat when those words filled the air.

~ To be continued ~

Author’s note: Thank you for reading! 💙💜 Did you like the chapter? Now you know more about Sophie's past. Tell me anything, for example: which was your favorite part, or what do you imagine will happen now. Tag list is always open :3

Tagging: @nikkitasevoli @msroxyblog @burritoverload

#bright lights #bright lights part seventeen #jared leto fanfiction #jared leto fanfic #jared leto fiction #jared leto

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dxmedstudent · 7 years ago

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Hey dx. F1 here. I feel like quitting. My clinical supervisor has set me a mountain of extra presentations etc which I'm struggling to do at all given how busy the rotation is, with me staying late regularly and I'm so tired. Feeling like quitting. He's threatened to fail me. I want to call in sick and never come back. I probably won't but I feel so stuck.

Hey, friend. I’m so, so sorry to hear your first rotation sucks this badly. No new FY1 deserves this. It’s a scary enough time as it is without this added drama and pressure. This is not normal, and it’s not OK. That sounds unfair and unreasonable; people shouldn’t be threatening to fail you; failure isn’t supposed to be a threat to beat people with, but a last-ditch tool to point out truly unsafe doctors when all other methods of communicating with that trainee have failed. This isn’t normal, and it’s not OK. I doubt that they’d fail you, not because they are a nice person, but because failing trainees tends to make departments look bad, and if it’s investigated further it’d make their life difficult. However, some people are particularly manipulative and abusive, and I know firsthand that when people look like they can make your life really difficult (or do), it can be really scary. Have you considered speaking to your educational supervisor? Or failing that, your head of training in your hospital? This isn’t normal, and your clin supe isn’t acting normally or appropriately. Asking someone to present cases is OK but threatening to fail you is a completely inappropriate escalation for whatever issues they perceive with you. If all fails, your training programme director is also someone who could be involved if required; they handle trainees for the area, and they aren’t tied into the local hospital’s office politics, and their aim is to pass as many juniors as possible. Ultimately, the system needs you, needs us, and it’s not in their interest for you to suffer or fail. It’s also possible for clinical supervisors to be changed; your TPD has the power to do this, and that might help remove a lot of the problems. When I was struggling at work, I ended up speaking to them all. And it can really help; the system does have allowances to provide for burnout and mental health, too, but you need to work within the system. Which means that you absolutely can call in sick; work related stress is a real thing. You don’t have to justify it; mental health is just as real as physical health, and taking time off because you are suffering is valid. I do suggest, however, going to your GP. Not because they can fix things, but because they can help you deal with anxiety and depression if they happen to be an issue (and for many of us, they can start or play up when work becomes hell), but also they can support you in getting sick leave whilst you recover and figure things out. Sometimes occy health and the PSU (professional support unit) also have a role to play in supporting you. Please don’t make any snap decisions about leaving medicine; when I have had jobs/departments that burned me out, I remembered the advice from the Tea and Empathy group that was basically this: never make snap decisions; you never know how big a part of your desire to quit is the toxic environment of your current workplace, and that’s a factor that can be changed by speaking to your deanery, whereas leaving medicine is more permanent. So take some time, and see what your deanery can do to help you. Please consider taking some time off, and speak to people. That’s what I did when I was struggling at work (and people factors were, I’m not going to lie, partly an issue), and it made a huge difference. So many people I know have struggled with a bad rotation, in a busy or toxic department or with seniors from hell, and many of them took some time off, or sought help for mental health reasons, and it makes such a big difference. It really does. You’re not alone; so many of us go through something similar, and I’m so angry and so sorry that it keeps happening. I really wish I could do more other than be mad on your behalf. Incidentaly, the T&E group on FB that I mentioned is well worth checking out for support and advice! i highly recommend that you do so; you can message the mods to post your message anonymously for you if you’re afraid of people seeingthat you posted it. I recommend you contact them because then it opens up your story to a range of peers, and perhaps they’d come up with answers that I haven’t. But most of all, please, please don’t suffer alone. Talk to people. Particularly if you’re getting thoughts of self-harm or suicide. This really is just a job, and as with any job, nobody ever has the right to threaten you or make you feel miserable. I’m so sorry you’re going through this right now, but you’re not alone. Please write in, whenever things are getting hard.

#askdx #ask dx #ask #asks #anonymous #question

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drylip0-blog · 6 years ago

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Macadamia Shortbread Cookies

When the month of December rolls around my kitchen and my mind go into Christmas Baking Gear! I love Christmas Baking and there is no nicer gift you can give to a family member, friend or neighbour than something which you have baked just for them!

One thing I like to bake for Christmas are shortbread biscuits/cookies. In all truth they are probably my favourite of all the Christmas cookies.

I also adore Macadamia Nuts. I know they can be a bit pricey, but hey, it's Christmas! I found this recipe for Macadamia Shortbread Cookies in a Christmas book of mine, entitled Christmas Cheer from Leisure Arts. (I have had it for a very long time!)

Shortbread cookies? Macadamia Nuts??? You CAN'T lose!

I know that Macadamia nuts can be a bit pricey, but what the heck it's Christmas!

I think shortbread cookies are about the simplest Christmas Cookie you can make, so long as you are not having to roll them out. I have always made Whipped Shortbread Cookies every year, using a recipe I got many Christmas's ago from my friend Leona.

They are so easy to make, as easy as beating together your ingredients and dropping them onto baking sheets and baking. Simple and delicious.

These are also very simple. You just beat together butter and brown sugar, with some vanilla and then stir in a mixture of flour and finely ground macadamia nuts.

You then roll the dough into balls and place them onto your baking sheets . . .

pressing a whole Macadamia nut into the top of each ball of dough . . .

They bake for about fifteen minutes . . . spreading out a tiny bit as they do and getting gilded golden brown at the edges.

The nut decoration on top turns golden brown and all toasty. I love toasted nuts and I love shortbread cookies. These are winners all round. Short and buttery and oh so addictive!

Yield: 5 dozenAuthor: Marie RaynerPrint Recipe

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Macadamia Shortbread Cookies

prep time: 10 minscook time: 15 minstotal time: 25 mins

If you love Macadamia nuts and shortbread cookies, you will adore these Macadamia Short breads. A beautiful addition to your holiday cookie trays.

ingredients:

280g plain flour (2 cups all purpose)

395g whole macadamia nuts, divided (14 ounces)

1/4 tsp salt

240g butter, softened (1 cup)

100g soft light brown sugar (1/2 cup packed brown sugar)

1 tsp vanilla extract

instructions:

Preheat the oven to 180*C/350*F/ gas mark 4. Line several baking sheets with baking paper. Set aside.

Measure the flour, 170g of the nuts (1 cup) and salt into a blender or food processor. Blitz until finely ground. Set aside.

Cream the butter, sugar and vanilla together until light and fluffy. Stir in the flour mixture to combine. Shape into 1 inch balls and place 2 inches apart on the prepared baking sheets. Press

one of the remaining nuts into the top of each cookie.

Bake for 12 to 15 minutes or until the edges are golden brown. Cool completely on a wire rack. Store in an airtight container.

The hardest part of making these is grinding the nuts. You don't want the ground nuts to be granular. You want them as fine as flour, which is really quite easy to do if you have a good blender, food processor or coffee/spice grinder.

This is what I used. My CookHouse 800W Multi-Blender, which also has a bonus Coffee/spice/nut grinder attachment. With three speeds and a pulse option it did a great job of grinding my nuts. I used the Coffee/Spice grinding attachment to do this.

This is what they looked like when I popped them into the grinder along with the flour and salt . . .

And this is what they looked like when they were done. It took about 20 pulses. Macadamia nuts are a lot harder than they look! But as you can see they were as powdery as the flour was. I am really in love with this machine and it has pride of place in my kitchen.

✔ 800W HIGH POWERED BLENDING - Not your average blender, this powerful machine can handle any task, from smoothies & protein shakes to juices, mixes, soups and even meat ✔ BONUS COFFEE/SPICE GRINDER & FOOD CHOPPER - it comes with a chopper attachment that lets you coarsely chop nuts, spices, meat, frozen foods, and ice for all your recipes ✔ EASY TO CLEAN - The jar and blades are removable for easy and safe cleaning - the stainless steel base is easy to wipe and stays looking beautiful in your kitchen. ✔ 3 SPEEDS & PULSE FUNCTION - this blender has 3 different speed options plus a pulse setting let you perfect any recipe, no matter how thick or hard the ingredients. ✔ SAFETY LOCK SYSTEM & OVERHEAT PROTECTION - this blender has been designed to be safe and long lasting - the blender won't start unless locked securely in place, and no overheating or burnout will occur, guaranteed!

I used the blender part the other day to make a simple and quick Hollandaise sauce which I served with some Salmon. Blender Hollandaise is such a simple version of this classic sauce and is pretty much fail-proof and hard to mess up. The blender attachment is easy to use and cleans like a dream. Both options clean easily. I love this machine!

To make the Hollandaise you just put egg yolks, seasoning and lemon juice into the blender and run it for a few seconds and then you start drizzling in melted butter whilst keeping the motor running. It comes together like magic . . . thick, silky and rich.

Perfect for serving with Eggs Benedict . . . this is simply half an English Muffin, toasted with some sauteed spinach on top, some bacon and a perfectly poached egg . . .

Friday night we enjoyed this easy Hollandaise sauce with some grilled Salmon that I cooked on our grill along with some oven chips, asparagus and grilled tomatoes . . . it only looked complicated, but was a really delicious and simple supper to throw together. When you have high quality equipment to use, cooking becomes so much simpler.

Yield: Makes about 1 cupAuthor: Marie RaynerPrint Recipe

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Blender Hollandaise Sauce

Mmmm... deliciously buttery hollandaise sauce, made in just a few minutes, with all the ease of pushing a few buttons. Turns out perfect every time.

ingredients:

2 large free range organic egg yolks (Save the whites to make some meringues at a later date. They freeze very well) 2 1/2 tsp fresh lemon juice 2 1/2 tsp white wine vinegar 125g butter (1/2 cup) sea salt freshly ground black pepper

instructions:

Heat the vinegar and the lemon juice in a small measuring cup in the microwave for about 30 seconds or so, just until the mixture starts to bubble and simmer. In the meantime, place the egg yolks into your blender and season with a smidgen of salt and a few grinds of black pepper. Blend for one minute. Turning the blender on, add the lemon juice/vinegar mixture to the egg yolks in a thin stream, very slowly. (You can do this through the hole left in the lid after you remove the little plastic cap) Turn the blender off and melt the butter in the same measuring cup you used to heat the vinegar and lemon juice in until it is slightly foaming. Turn the blender back on and very slowly add the hot butter in a thin stream to the beaten egg yolks, once again through the little hole in the top of the lid. The slower you add it, the better. Turn the blender off and scrape down the sides with a rubber spatula, then put the lid on and blend again for a few seconds. Set aside.

This simple Blender Hollandaise is also a must when making my Scrambled Eggs Benedict, which are probably even more delicious than the traditional option. I love these!

To see more photos and options for the CookHouse Blender check out the Amazon page for it. You can also see my review of this great machine there as well. I find that as I am getting older I am becoming a bit more discerning about what equipment I choose to have in my kitchen. I don't want objects taking up space that I am not going to use. I want them to be highly functional, attractive and things that I know I am going to use all the time. This machine falls within all of the parameters of my guidelines for equipment and appliances that belong in my kitchen. Bon appetit!

Source: https://theenglishkitchen.blogspot.com/2018/12/macadamia-shortbread-cookies.html

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nikkidrobertson · 7 years ago

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4 Back to School Tips for New (and not so new) School Librarians

*originally written for School Library Journal

Congratulations on your new job as a school librarian! It is hands down the absolutely best job...EVER! Last year, entering my twenty-sixth year as an educator and twenty-first year as a school librarian, I found myself in the position of being a new librarian again in quite a few ways. I retired from Alabama and moved to Texas for an awesome school library position to work for an administrator for whom I have great respect and admiration. I moved from working at a high school library for the past twelve years to working at an elementary school. I moved from having a flexible schedule to a fixed schedule as part of the Specials rotation with Art, Music, and PE. I moved from having amazing, full time library aides to having no full time aide. I changed from having no district library supervisor to having and incredibly supportive one. I moved from not having a unified district library structure to having a very well structured program. So much was all new to me! Below are four tips to help you as you enter this new chapter of your life.

Get Connected

Being a school librarian can be a shockingly isolating profession, especially after having formed tight, supportive networks while you were a classroom teacher. As a school librarian you are in a sort of no man’s land. You aren’t part of the teacher peer group, you aren’t part of the administrative peer group. Often, you are the only person in your school that works in and understands what it takes to run an active, engaging, supportive library. Many school districts, unfortunately, often perpetuate this isolation by not allowing time for district librarians to meet and plan collaboratively which only exacerbates the isolation.

FIND YOUR PEOPLE

Don’t wait around for your district to connect you. Reach out to the other librarians in your district and find out what you have in common. Maybe your children both play softball, go to gymnastics, or dance class. Perhaps you could set up playdates, or other social interactions to get together outside the school day. My favorite since my children are grown and out of the house is to set up weekend brunch/lunch meetings or after school dinner meetings. Talk, have fun, swap ideas and plan. Plus, it’s fun to have time away with friends who really get each other. Don’t stop there. Connecting with librarians outside of your school, district, and state, and country brings a unique worldview into your library program and enriches student learning.

Where To Find Your People

Twitter

Twitter is one of the best places you can go to connect, share, learn and grow with other school librarians and connected educators. Twitter is how I went from being a burned out educator to feeling like I never want to do anything else but teach. Teaching before Twitter was lonely, frustrating, and boring. Teaching with Twitter is energizing, invigorating, fun, creative, and I never want to get off this ride of bringing awesome learning opportunities to my students and teachers.

There are a few secrets to truly harnessing the power of Twitter.

Hashtags: By following, commenting, sharing, and connecting using hashtags you will maximize your own professional learning.

Three hashtags I’d recommend for school librarians are:

#TLChat

#FutureReadyLibs

#ISTELib

Don’t limit yourself to just these hashtags. Make sure to connect using state education hashtags, makerspace hashtags, and educational technology hashtags as well.

Twitter Chats: Twitter chats are the scheduled conversations, usually in a Q/A format lead by a moderator or moderators that take place on a weekly or monthly basis.

Two places to find hashtags for you, your teachers, and administrators are:

Participate Learning Chats

Cybraryman’s Educational Hashtags

Facebook

Facebook is a great place to join groups. A few of my favorite Facebook Groups include:

Future Ready Librarians

ISTE Librarians Network

The School Librarian’s Workshop

MakerSpaces and the Participatory Library

Professional Development Resources for School Librarians

Below are a few professional development resources where you can find your people and have official professional development at the same time.

Future Ready Librarians Webinars

Library 2.0 Webinar Series

ISTE Librarians Network Professional Development

I owe my much of my success to my PLN. Without their strength, support, guidance, ideas and more I would not be able to accomplish so many of my professional and personal goals. Through social media connections I have developed true friendships with other librarians and educators who will cry with you and lift you up when you are struggling and laugh, dance, and celebrate with you when you are successful.

Be Fearless

Be fearless even if you are trembling on the inside. Be the one who demonstrates that it is ok to not know something but be willing to learn, fail, and start again. We need to model for both our students and our teachers the willingness to not know everything and the need to not control everything.

While I am in no way a fan of being on a fixed schedule as part of the Specials rotation, was awesome to have a captive audience to try out new ideas garnered through my incredible and diverse PLN (Professional Learning Network). I loved learning about a new technology, app, website, craft, and more and knowing that I could go into work the next day and try it out with the kids even if I didn’t really know how to do it myself. Part of the fun was learning right along with the students and letting them teach me!

We also need to assist our teachers with expanding collaboration beyond the school building to forge authentic real world learning opportunities with others across the country and around the world using video conferencing tools like Google Hangouts, YouTube Live, and Skype. Events like Read Across America, World Read Aloud Day, International Dot Day, Andy Plemmons’ Picture Book Smackdown, Elissa Malespina’s virtual debates, Stony Evans’ #StonyStories empowering students to be in house PD and national presenters, National Poetry Month/Poem in Your Pocket Day, Mystery Skype, and so many more events can be made exponentially better by connecting with other schools celebrating or doing the same things. I love that Shannon Miller put together a Google Document this past year where we can all share monthly Library Celebrations, any of which could be made collaborative.

One new technology I want to use this year is #GridPals via FlipGrid. I introduced my students and school to FlipGrid during my first year. Students, teachers, administrators, and parents could all contribute to our two FlipGrid topics; Book of the Day and Quote of the Day. These grids were then incorporated into our morning news show. That way the whole school community had an opportunity to be part of the morning announcements.

This year I want to connect my students through the new #Gridpals program. While FlipGrid has a Google Form where you can connect your students with other students around the world, you can always team up with another teacher or teachers you know to do something similar on your own.

I challenge you this year to be fearless! Part of being fearless is stepping out and trying new things even if you have never tried them before. The willingness to learn and put yourself out there even if failure ensues (and it will) is the most fearless thing you can do!

Remember That You Are HUMAN

Entering a brand new chapter as a school librarian I set an impossibly high bar for myself in part because I knew what I had been able to do in my past schools. I failed to take into account all of the supports that I had in place in my old schools that I no longer had in my new school; a full time aide, a flexible schedule, student library aide (a great high school perk), and more.

I worked myself at a frenzied pace to try to meet my own unrealistic goals. I weeded a collection that had not been weeded properly in twelve years with the help of my new district library supervisor, Becky Calzada. I genrefied the collection. I ripped shelving off the walls, moved and discarded furniture, and took apart and rearranged the circulation desk. I started a morning news show for our school’s morning announcements. I created makespace style centers and introduced cool new technologies to the kids like green screens, robotics, coding, and more. My third through fifth grade students created and maintained digital portfolios.

I found myself working all night at home and all weekend just to keep up with all the tasks I had heaped on my professional plate. I was exhausted, frustrated, angry, and after just the first year at my new school I was quickly moving into burnout mode.

Then I talked to my library hero and mentor, Jennifer Lagarde. After attentively listening to my woes she said, “What advice would you give another librarian if they were saying these same things to you?” Jennifer also asked, “Would you talk to another librarian the way you are talking to yourself?” Wow! Jennifer’s words really made me stop and think.

I would advise another librarian to choose just one goal for each school year and concentrate on that. I’d also say, “Give yourself a break. Celebrate the cool things you are doing rather than beating yourself up over the things you aren’t doing.” Being a connected educator is great for ideas and support from people who “get you” but can also make you feel as if you aren’t doing enough. As long as students are your main focus you are moving in the right direction. You are not a superhero. You are a beautiful, wonderful, talented human being with much to offer to your new students, staff, administrators, parents, and community members.

Make Community Connections

The PTA, parents, and grandparents this first year in Texas were my saving grace. I was so fortunate to have an involved and supportive PTA. They took charge of the first Scholastic Book Fair of two booked by the previous librarian for the school year. I still felt as if I was drowning when that first book fair came around and couldn’t have possibly done it without them.

I was also blessed with some pretty incredible parent and grandparent volunteers. With over 800 students and a tight back to back fixed schedule the ability to just shelve books was overwhelming. My two grandparent volunteers, Ms. Gloria and Ms. Jean came every Tuesday and Thursday to shelve books. Whew! If it weren’t for them I would be buried under piles of books. Ms. Phan, Ms. Bercu, Ms. Roberts, and Ms. Williams were also great helpers, often coming in to shelve books but also to help out with our library center activities.

My new school also hosted a WatchDog Dads program. My very basic understanding of the program is that the dads come to school with their kids and help out where needed but also spend time with their kids in class. Just at moments when I thought I would just curl up into a ball and start crying, a WatchDog Dad would walk into the library and save me. One day in particular the Internet went out which meant my book checkout system was down as were most of my center activities. I was frantically trying to devise a plan when three WatchDog Dads walked into the library. Together we quickly came up with a plan of action and the day was saved!

My principal and front office staff also helped me out by sending substitute teachers to the library whenever they had a planning period on their schedule. I liked this because I could learn more about the school and community by talking and making friends with them. I can’t believe I went 25 years without knowing you could have substitutes help out like that!

Final Thoughts

More than any other advice I can give I think the most important things you can do as a new librarian is have fun, don’t take yourself too seriously, and always put serving others with joy (even when you don’t feel joyful) before all other tasks (management tasks can wait...people are more important).

Want to read my 5 Tips for New School Librarians (and those who aren't so new) posted summer of 2017? Click HERE and enjoy!

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eternalsterekrecs · 8 years ago

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any new sterek highschool au?

Well, our absolute favs are under our High School AU tag but, because we don’t want you to lack anything, here is a rec of doom (there’s more than 30 fics here) with all the other fics I’ve read in the last few months/years! - C

HIGH SCHOOL AU

Just Pretend by dragon_temeraire

Stiles tells his dad he has a boyfriend. The problem is, he doesn’t actually have one.

Something New Is Going to Happen by dragon_temeraire

Stiles accidentally discovers that their school mascot is super cute.

All the broken hearts in the world still beat by dragon_temeraire

Stiles totally needs to make Lydia Martin jealous. Yeah. And his best chance is to convince star lacrosse player Derek Hale to (fake) date him.

Smile On The Sidelines by clotpolesonly

Derek was not pining.

Not to say that he didn’t miss Stiles, didn’t want to be with him at that moment (or literally any moment, to be quite honest), but he wasn’t one of those obnoxious clingy people who lost track of the world as soon his boyfriend was out of his sight.

It was just a basketball game anyway.

“Five Days in Detention” (A Future Song by Stiles Stilinski) by alisvolatpropiis

It’s still preseason, sure, but he needs to be practicing. He led the team to the State semifinals last year, and he’s determined to not only make it to the finals this year, but to win the title. He should be on the field right now, practicing his play calls and prepping for next week’s season opener against Saint Pius.

And he can’t do that if he’s wasting his time in detention with these losers. There are a couple of burnouts lazing over some seats by the window, one kid with his face on a desk, hood over his head, and a few Goth kids are sitting in the back corner, looking surly and morose. Maybe you wouldn’t be so miserable if you didn’t listen to such shitty music, he thinks, turning towards his usual seat in the back of the room.

He pauses for the briefest of moments when he sees who’s already sitting there, in the second-to-last row, black-clad limbs spread out, acoustic guitar in his lap, long fingers casually plucking at the strings.

Stiles Stilinski.

How to Woo Your Local Omega by alocalband

Stiles knows a pity gift when he sees one. Mostly because that’s all he’s ever gotten from anyone since the moment he hit puberty.

Five Times Derek Literally Falls for Stiles (and One Time… They Both Fall) by myhomeboy_stilinski

Five times Derek is a failwolf and literally falls for Stiles Stilinski.And one time they fall together.

Warning: A little bit cracky and contains meddling.

Try Again by dragon_temeraire

Derek has to egg a house to be part of the popular group. Too bad the house ends up being the Sheriff’s.

Sleeping Next To You Is Like Magic by LadyDrace

Stiles and Derek meet the summer before senior year. Stiles can’t sleep, Derek helps with that, and there’s a lot less cuddling and a lot more emotional crises than you’d think.

Or:

Stiles’ feelings happen so much, and learning how to deal with them takes him a little while. Good thing Derek is happy to wait.

Shut Up And Dance With Me by maiNuoire

Stiles has been in love with Derek forever. Senior Prom feels like his last chance to do something about it, but he’s a bundle of nerves. And then, inspiration strikes.

made from the heart by bleep0bleep

Derek has been crushing on Stiles for awhile, and thinks maybe this Christmas season he’ll tell him how he feels. He’s got a great present too, except when Stiles gives him a thoughtful handmade present, Derek is pretty much screwed.

Stiles smiles at Derek. “It was just a nice thought, you know? I just think gifts that people take their time to make are just so sweet.”“Handmade,” Derek says faintly.

Like James Dean, Only Sadder by 42hrb

The star of the Beacon Hills High School baseball team and Beacon Hills resident bad boy probably have nothing in common, right?

atom to atom by jadore_hale

“So, you’re telling me that you hate Derek so much that you wouldn’t leap at the chance to jump his bones?”

“That’s different!” Stiles cried.

“How exactly?”

“Because unfortunately for me, Derek’s hotter than the Earth’s mantle. All we need is one rough hate-fuck— Preferably in the chem lab, role-playing sexy chemist while he bends me over one of the tables—and I’ll get him out of my system. That’s as far as our relationship will ever go.”

Stiles glanced across the cafeteria to where Derek was still fail-eating his lunch and sighed so put out.

“Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go make fun of Derek eating organic baby carrots.”

don’t go breakin’ my heart [i couldn’t if i tried] by crossroadswrite

Contrary to popular belief, Derek Hale – co-captain of the basketball team and AP student who volunteers in the library – isn’t actually as smooth as people might think.

In a Straight Line Down by standinginanicedress

“So you want to go to Prom with me just so you can get a plastic crown and a fifty dollar gift card to Outback Steakhouse.”

Stiles sets his jaw. He wants to go to prom with Derek because he wants to go to prom with Derek. But, of course, he’s stubborn and prideful and can’t admit to Derek how it’s barely been twelve hours since they officially broke up and he’s already barely handling it as it is, so he just raises his chin in the air and says, “yes.”

we should just kiss (like real people do) by i_am_girlfriday

Stiles is the social zero of the sophomore class. Derek is the much cooler junior who befriends Stiles anyway.

Shut Me Down by lazykisses

Even when Derek’s an asshole, which is 75% of the time (90% on a rainy day), with his deadpan humor and cocky eyebrows and his annoyingly vague text messages (like that one time Stiles asked him if he’d studied for Chemistry and Derek replied with “hn”. What the hell does ‘hn’ even mean?), Stiles doesn’t mind. And that kinda scares him.

It’s Too Early For This by thepsychicclam

Derek loves his job at the coffee shop, especially because Stiles comes in for coffee before early Saturday morning lacrosse practices. The problem is that Derek is too shy to do anything about his crush, and the situation is not helped by the rivalry between the basketball and lacrosse teams.

Hotsky to Trotsky by paintedrecs

Derek had his future mapped out: there’d be graduation, followed by college, followed by (he hoped) a good grad school, then a career as a professor whose students didn’t spend their time flicking paper footballs at each other and obsessing over their dating lives. He had good friends, a good family, and no time to focus on distractions like high school gossip or relationships.

He hadn’t factored Stiles Stilinski - lacrosse player, class clown, part of the popular crowd, currently spending his entire day staring at Derek and smiling - into his plans.

more by bibliosexual

It starts when Derek is sitting in study hall and the guy ahead of him–-Stiles something, the Polish kid with all the moles–-mutters, “Ugh, what’s sixty percent of fifty-five?”

“Thirty-three,” Derek says without having to think about it. He’s always been good at math.

“Oh, thanks, dude,” Stiles says. “I forgot my calculator, and Mr. Harris is a dick who won’t let me go get it.”

“No problem,” Derek says.

He assumes that’s it, that’s the end of the conversation, but Stiles catches up to him in the hall after class, scuffs his sneaker against the floor and says, “Hey, so, you’re really good at math. Like, you solved that in your head, right? No calculator?“

"Yeah,” Derek says, and Stiles bites his lip, asks, “Do you maybe wanna study with me later, in the library?”

Derek does.

i wanna dance with somebody (who loves me) by bleep0bleep

Derek gets in an accident and loses a few years of his memory; suddenly everything is different— he’s not a freshman loser anymore, but a popular senior, captain of the basketball team, a shoo-in for prom king, too, and he should have everything he’s ever wanted— except he doesn’t seem to be friends with Stiles anymore.

Bro-lentine’s Day by WhoNatural

It’s actually pretty cool that Derek came back to school after a summer eating spinach and lifting small trains or whatever to become a guardian angel to the easy targets of BHHS.

Don’t Judge a Derek By His Cover by captaintinymite

Stiles doesn’t care about the rumors surrounding Beacon Hills High School’s resident bad boy, Derek Hale. In fact, he thinks the rumors are total crap. Of course, being secretly in love with someone has a way of clouding one’s judgment.

However, he knew for a fact that Derek liked books. So when the two paired up for a final English project, he was excited (but also a little terrified).

But you know what they say…never judge a book by its cover. The same goes for people.

Baader-Meinhof Phenomenon by secondstar

Being a teenager sucks. Being a werewolf teenager sucks even more. With a life full of holding back who he really is, not having any privacy whatsoever, and the seemingly sudden appearance of one Stiles Stilinski, Derek Hale’s life just got a whole lot harder.

(I Hate to Be) The One to Ruin the Night by wishingonalightningbolt

High school senior Derek Hale only has one goal for the rest of his time left at BHHS: avoid Stiles Stilinski. He’s wreaked enough havoc as it is, having spent all summer breaking Derek’s heart. Everything would be better for both of them if they just never saw each other again.

-0-

Derek doesn’t plan on ever getting mixed up with Scott McCall and his little gang of idiot friends. In fact, if he knew to avoid it, he would, but he guesses he just isn’t smart enough. Unfortunate, considering the consequences.

John Hughes Did Not Direct My Life by nascentgalaxies

Stiles and Derek are childhood friends who drifted apart. When Stiles joins the lacrosse team against his will, the universe (with a little help from Laura and Lydia) chooses to push them back together.

But Then What... by Stoney

Senior year is almost over, and all Stiles needs to do is keep his head down to survive. A teacher calls in a favor, leaving him stuck tutoring Derek Hale, one of the most popular jocks in school and a member of a group of douchecanoes who have bullied Stiles for years. He's someone Stiles totally hates. Totally. Like, doesn't like him even a little bit. DEFINITELY isn't attracted to him.

Except that is a total lie. Fuck his life, seriously.

I know you love and hate me too by trilliastra

“Right.” Derek coughs and Stiles knows he realized his mistake. Good – he thinks, maybe next time he'll learn not to make Stiles fall in love with him. “Hum – we are almost finishing here, John.”

“I'll be in my bedroom.” Stiles says. “And his first name is Sheriff!”

Fucking Derek Hale.

Wait For It by otatop

Funny, how you can exist adjacent to someone through elementary, middle, and high school and not really know them. Funny, how Stiles had always had some strange crush on Derek without actually being his friend.

It’s like he’s all that by MemeKon

Stiles is different. Stiles is not nice under any definition of the word, he’s such an asshole. Sure, he’s a good guy deep down, he punched Jackson square in the jaw when he mocked the McCall kid for an asthma attack that one time, and Derek knows he helped Erica Reyes get that video of her seizure taken down, but he’s so—

"Fuck off, Derek." Stiles tells him without sparing him a glance when Derek sits next to him on chemistry. "I’m not up to play She’s All That with you, dude."

-yeah.

(School crushes are so complicated.)

The Scheming Rhymes of Romance by sofonisba_found

Stiles currently was, and had been, Derek's poetic muse for years. Not that Stiles was really all that aware of that fact.

But when Stiles does find out about it their senior year of high school, he's pretty okay with it.

Alright, so he is definitely a lot more than okay with it.

A story in which Derek writes copious amounts of poetry, Stiles is very appreciative of said poetry as well as Derek's smile, and all of their friends are oddly and extremely invested in seeing these two get their act together.

Easy Alpha by interropunct

Easy A/Teen Wolf AU. Wherein, Derek Hale is the high school hussy, Jackson and Scott really need to learn to use their inside voices. And, contrary to popular belief, everyone is still a virgin.

#sterek #eternalsterek #haleinski #fic rec #au #high school au #asks #anonymous

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leanpick · 4 years ago

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How to Beat Burnout — Without Quitting Your Job

One-off self-care may help in the short term, but a more effective strategy for chronic burnout is to incorporate it into your routine a few times a week. It’s easy to shortchange yourself, so pick something you look forward to doing — whether it’s a walk or a dip in a pool — and set reminders for yourself. Recharge and reach out. For Chanea Bond, 32, taking self-care breaks has been essential to…

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wazafam · 4 years ago

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By BY CATHERINE ZUCKERMAN from Well in the New York Times-https://www.nytimes.com/2021/04/30/well/workplace-burnout-advice.html?partner=IFTTT We’re all feeling a little fried at work and home. But there are ways to stay sharp and recharge. How to Beat Burnout — Without Quitting Your Job New York Times

#BY CATHERINE ZUCKERMAN #Well #Parenting #Labor and Jobs #Anxiety and Stress #Workplace Environment

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bmaxwell · 5 years ago

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Best Games of 2020

2020 was a lot. It will be remembered for many things far above and beyond video games. COVID-19 shut the world down in a way never seen in my lifetime. It changed day to day life for many of us, and cost many of us loved ones. It was also the year when the ugly parts of our capitalist society were shown in broad daylight. It feels like 2001 again in that our lives will be divided into pre-2020 and post-2020.

For me personally, I was able to keep my job and work from home, and no one close to us died to the pandemic. We stayed home as much as possible, wore masks, wiped down groceries, and did our best to control what we could. It can be hard to talk about stuff like video games and sports with the usual sort of fervor when the world feels like it’s falling apart around us. It feels like playing the violin aboard the Titanic. But self-care is especially important in times like these, and it’s healthy and necessary to close Twitter, or for-the-love-of-god fucking Facebook and get a breather sometimes. Finding a balance where I could stay informed without completely submerging myself in misery wasn’t always easy.

And so. 2020 was a pretty good year for games, though it must be noted that there is a cost to that escapism - the industry is rife with stories of abuse, burnout, and coverups from companies such as Ubisoft and CD Projekt Red, Naughty Dog, and many others. That can add an additional layer of exhaustion to what is supposed to be a relaxing escape. So I can understand the people who say they don’t want to hear about abuse in industry, they just want the games. But also, fuck those people. “I don’t care if you suffer to entertain me, I just don’t want to hear about it.” Fuck the whole entire way off.

But I digress. Like most years, I played a lot of games. I played a lot of coop beat-em-ups with my kids this year. Minecraft Dungeons and Streets of Rage 4 didn’t make the list, but I spent hours playing them with my middle child. And it wasn’t a 2020 release, but I had a blast playing River City Girls with firstborn. It was a good year for fans of tactics games with stuff like Gears Tactics, Troubleshooter, Wintermoor Tactics Club, and Fae Tactics. 2020 also saw new console releases, though the launch lineups were especially thin.

Gaming-wise, 2020 was the year of Xbox Game Pass for me. I spent most of this console generation (justifiably) dogging Xbox for their lack of platform exclusives, but I decided to pursue an Xbox Series X before a Playstation 5. Game Pass is the main reason for this. The “Netflix for games” thing has finally become a reality, and Sony just doesn’t have an answer for the bonkers value of Game Pass. We head into the new console generation with Microsoft leaning heavily on Game Pass subs, Sony still banking on a few console exclusives, and Nintendo, uh, doing their own thing over there. What a fascinating time for the industry.

Honorable Mention

It’s an honor just to be nominated.

Monster Sanctuary

If you start with Pokemon, strip away the anime, and mix in a healthy dose of metroidvania, you have Monster Sanctuary. This means there are monsters to collect, level, and evolve, and lots of combat revolving around elemental strengths and weaknesses. And I am here for that shit. A game like this lives and dies by its combat, and it’s very satisfying here. The game has plenty of choices about which skills to focus on for each monster, which gear to equip, and which monsters to keep in your active roster.

That said, between a couple of nasty difficulty spikes and some super-frustrating puzzle rooms, I was close to walking away from the game on multiple occasions. It’s a testament to the game’s quality that I kept coming back to it.

Animal Crossing

Animal Crossing on the Gamecube is one of my favorite games ever. Each game in the series since the first has felt like a small incremental change from the original. I played Wild World on the DS quite a bit, City Folk a bit less, and A New Leaf not at all. I was thinking that maybe enough time has passed that I could get wrapped up in New Horizons, but I fell off it after a month or two.

I’m wondering what I would want from a new Animal Crossing game, and the answer is nothing. How much can you change the game and still have it be Animal Crossing? I don’t think the game is bad by any means. My whole family shared an island community for a couple of months. It’s impossible for a new game in the series make me feel the way that first game did.

The most memorable part of New Horizons is the museum. The museum is huge and absolutely lovely, with fish, bugs, fossils, and art each having their own wing. There were a few nights where the tranquility of the museum made for a nice end of the day.

Tell Me Why

My wife, firstborn, and myself have made a nice routine of playing through “choices matter” games together (starting last year with Detroit Become Human and following up with Life is Strange 2). Tell Me Why is the latest one one of these we tackled as a group. These game have created some memorable moments for us; who could forget their child yelling for them to “shoot the hooker”? (thank you, Detroit Become Human).

Tell Me Why was on my radar because it’s One of These, but also because it features a transgender protagonist. As a parent of a trans child, I was both excited at the prospect of this and also worried that it is such an easy thing to fumble. I’m pleased to report that DONTNOD handled the writing of the trans person very well without being hamfisted, preachy, or tryhardy with it. The character of Tyler is a believable trans man, and the topic is spoken of matter-of-factly without placing special focus on it; being trans is a part of Tyler’s story, but it’s not the entirety of his identity.

Less impressive to me was the story itself - especially the way it wrapped up its main conflict. The game trades in the idea of memory being imperfect, which is fascinating in and of itself, but I did not like it as a game mechanism. How did this REALLY happen? One character remembers it one way, and the other remembers it differently. Choosing between them felt cheap and hollow to me; I want you to tell me what happened, don’t ask me to choose. Still, I enjoyed my time with the game, and it feels like a step forward in mainstream storytelling for LGBTQA characters.

Ghost of Tsushima

Ghost of Tsushima is flat out gorgeous. Practically every area and every moment in the game is begging to screenshotted to the point where it can sometimes pull me out of the game world a little bit. That’s not necessarily a complaint because, as I said, the game is freaking beautiful. But every part of the world looking like a painting makes it feel more like it takes place in a fantasy world and less like a game from feudal Japan.

I also had some ludonarrative dissonance going on with the game; you play as Jin, one of the few surviving samurai in his homeland which has been invaded by the Mongols. His uncle is being held prisoner, and combatting the occupying force would be impossible without using dishonorable techniques like hiding, attacking from a distance, and ambushing from the shadows. I, however, have no qualms and savored every opportunity to catch my foes unaware. So Jin voices his doubts, then goes into a camp and proceeds to cut his enemies down from shadows as I cackle with glee.

Ghost of Tsushima also combines dark souls-esque* combat with Ubisoft-style open world gameplay where you’re hunting down icons on a map. That kind of open world game is hard for me top stick with, especially after I spent ~30 hours with Assassin’s Creed Origins early in the year. All of makes it sound like I’m pretty down on Ghost of Tsushima, which I’m not. I’m hoping I’ll come back to it at some point when I have more of an appetite for One of These.

Crown Trick

My Dungeons of Dredmor hole has not been properly filled in a long time. Chcocobo’s Mystery Dungeon is the closest I think. These games are what I think of as roguelikes, though the progression between runs makes them roguelites. *tips fedora*

Crown Trick is a turn-based dungeon crawler where the map is a grid, and each time you act, the enemies act. Add to this clockwork puzzle gameplay a good variety of weapons, relics, and events and you’ve got a lot of replayability. It doesn’t have Dredmor’s ridiculous combination of skill classes, but it does have a neat Mega Man-esque system where you defeat minibosses and add their skill set to your build.

Top 10

10. Star Renegades

Star Renegades was not on my radar at all until I heard Austin Walker talk about the game on Waypoint Radio. Two things gave me pause:

- It’s a sci-fi-ass game. It’s a setting I don’t care for. Star destroyers and aliens and galactic battlecruisers aren’t my jam. - Austin Walker’s enthusiasm is infectious. I’ve tried games after hearing him gush over them and those games haven’t worked for me.** That’s not an indictment, he and I just have different tastes.

Star Renegades ticks a few important boxes for me: it has a lot of characters to unlock, it’s highly customizable, and the combat is turn-based with a twist. Every action, whether friend or foe, appears on a timeline. Some attacks will push their target’s action back on the timeline, so there’s a puzzle element to the combat that keeps it feeling fresh. You can choose the makeup of your party on each run, which helped give the game a buttload of replay value.

It’s not flawless by any means. The writing tries a little too hard to be cheeky and ends up feeling tryhardy and a little flat. A decent run in the game would often take 2-3 hours, which makes it feel deflating when it ends in failure - which it frequently did. The sections of the game where you move between zones on an overhead map feels needlessly clunky, and sometimes I ended up with movement points I couldn’t spend because of how the game handles that system.

I enjoyed Star Renegades a lot, but my time with it was weird. The game has unlockable characters, so unlocking them all was my first priority. The game’s runs are pretty long, I was playing sub-optimally trying to unlock things, and the game is more difficult than I’d expected. It took me a long time to complete the unlocks, then I had a hard time actually finishing a run successfully. Eventually I was ready to be done with it and turned the difficulty down to easy**** just to finally get a W. Still, the positives far outweigh the negative here, and Star Renegades is one of my favorite games of 2020.

9. Immortals Fenyx Rising

Man, something happened to me this December. I’m currently finding myself playing a lot of Forza Horizon 4, Destiny 2, and Immortals Fenyx Rising. None of these is My Kind of Game. Immortals is probably the least surprising of these, because it at least has swords and bows and stuff.

Still, I dismissed and mocked Immortals Fenyx Rising when it was first shown. It was called Gods & Monsters back then, and the idea of Ubisoft making yet another open world game, this time aping Breath of Wild was not appealing at all. I only ended up with the game after trading in Cyberpunk 2077 for Xbox credit and looking into Immortals because I was very surprised to see it on Game Informer’s game of the year list.

To get a few things out of the way, it absolutely recycles a lot from Breath of the Wild: you’ll be hang gliding, scaling walls as a stamina meter drains, finding shrines that contain puzzles and combat and climbing towers to get a vantage point and find points of interest on the map. The latter feels the most fumbled in this game - you can zoom in and survey the landscape, and your controller vibrates when you are looking near a point of interest. Move the cursor over it and press a button to reveal it on the map. They split the difference between Assassin’s Creed’s “all the icons pop in automatically” and Zelda’s wonderful “manually mark places that look interesting to you on your map” system and ended up with something neither functional nor interesting.

That’s where my complaints end though. The game’s art style is similar at a glance, but it’s vibrant and gorgeous, and never feels like Breath of the Wild. The combat is snappy, responsive, and challenging. The puzzle design is often creative, clever, and rarely frustrating; most of my frustration has come from my overthinking the puzzle solutions. There is plenty of gear to find, and the game’s cosmetic options are intuitive and welcome. The game’s narrative is better than I expected; it feels like a B-tier Disney movie. The writing has made me smile a few times, and made me roll my eyes a few times. Zeus as comic relief is a pretty major miss, but it’s fine apart from that. It helps that I’m already familiar with Greek mythology.

It’s a huge, beautiful world where traversal and combat feel great. It’s sometimes hard to get anything done because I am constantly distracted by tracking down an icon on the map, or just exploring because I saw something cool or strange. Not all of the puzzles and challenges work, but that’s okay because I can move onto something else. Immortals Fenyx Rising is this year’s Dragon Quest Builders 2: gaming comfort food where it feels good to sit back and check things off a list at the end of a long day. Still don’t like the name though. And fuck Ubisoft.

8. Atomicrops

The first mention of Atomicrops I remember was “What if Stardew Valley was a twin stick shooter?” which is bullshit, because the games bear no resemblance beyond “there’s farming”. Beyond that first blurb, what appealed to me is the idea that the game’s days take place in 2 phases: during the daytime, you go out and fight baddies to gather seeds, and at night the baddies invade your farm and you fight them off while planting and watering crops.

It’s also a run-based roguelike, and I am 1 of 26 remaining people who is still psyched to play those. Give me a challenge, mix up the details, let me upgrade stuff between sessions, and turn me loose. The game has a good variety of weapons and the challenge is satisfying and rarely feels unfair (apart from the bullet hell problem of too much stuff on the screen at times). I don’t love the art style, but the music sure makes up for it.

7. Wintermoor Tactics Club

A game needs more than charm to be memorable and enjoyable. Charm can go a long way though, and Wintermoor Tactics club has it in spades. It takes place at a small college, and you play as a girl named Alicia. She and her friends are members of the school’s tactics club, and much of the game takes place around a table littered with graph paper, rulebooks, and snacks. As someone who loved tabletop RPG’s in simpler times, and never had the traditional college experience, a prettied-up version of that appeals to me in a huge way. It’s not wholly idyllic though, and it touches on issues of discrimination and what it’s like to be an outcast.

The gameplay itself is pretty straightforward tactics stuff and it works fine but isn’t really the draw here. I was propelled through the game largely by a desire to meet the next character, get the next story bit, and keep basking in the game’s wonderful aesthetic and smart writing. There’s something lovely about sitting around the table and playing a game with friends, and this game really captures that.

6. Ratropolis

Ratrpolis is “A fusion of roguelite, tower defense, city-building, and deck-building!” which sounds like a hodgepodge of nonsense. And it kind of is. It’s a city building game where you are periodically being invaded from either the left or right side of the screen (or both). You choose from 6 leaders, each with their own pool of cards and play style, start with a basic deck of cards and slowly evolve it. The cards consist of buildings, military units, and various economic and military buffs. The major things that set this apart from favorites like Slay the Spire are that it happens in real time, and there is an economic aspect to manage. Tax money comes in every few seconds, and it’s possible to make poor decisions early on and not understand why you feel hamstrung later.

I spent a lot of games like that, not really understanding why I’d be doing okay and then get overwhelmed. I had a few rage quits early on, but I could tell that there was something there. I started approaching it with the mindset of building an economic engine in the early game, and I started having a lot more fun and success. Each of the 6 leaders feels distinct, and figuring them each out has been a lot of fun. Runs are usually no more than about 30 minutes, which feels about right.

5. Final Fantasy VII Remake

Despite identifying as a big JRPG fan, I’ve never enjoyed a mainline Final Fantasy game enough to finish it. This year I finished 2 of them: Final Fantasy XV and the Final Fantasy VII Remake.*** I played the original Playstation Final Fantasy VII release, I think I got through disc 1 and a little ways into disc 2. It didn’t resonate with me, so I came to this year’s remake with no reverence for the game. When many of the original game’s fans got upset with how much the remake changed the script from the source material, I didn’t have a horse in that race.

The remake is gorgeous, the combat and upgrade systems are engaging, and the story is interesting enough to keep me wanting to see what’s next. The 1997 release of the game had some stuff that isn’t going to play the same in 2020 like the scene where Cloud is crossdressing, the game’s themes of environmental activism, and, uh, the entire Don Corneo storyline come to mind. But the game handled all of this pretty well. I’m glad to say that this is one of the best RPG’s I played this year, and I look forward to the next entry whenever the hell it comes along. Cloud is still an unlikable punk though.

4. Monster Train

Slay the Spire was a surprise hit a couple of years ago, and inspired a lot of folks in the indie space to take a crack at the deckbuilding genre. Monster Train managed to to take inspirations from Slay the Spire but still feels like very much its own thing. Both games have you progressing through a series of encounters consisting of battles, shops, or small events trying to defeat the big bad at the end of a journey. You start with a deck of basic cards and upgrade them and add new cards along to way. You can’t really start a run planning on making a certain style of deck, you just choose from the cards available and watch the strategy form. The way this process tickles my brain makes these games endlessly replayable. The “one more run” is very strong here.

Monster Train differentiates itself in a couple of ways. First, where Slay the Spire was always just your one character battling one or more enemies, here you are summoning multiple creatures on the lower 3 levels of a 4-level train (I don’t know either). If the enemies reach the top floor of your train, they attack your core directly and eventually defeat you. This adds a strong spatial planning element - now you’re thinking about which combatants you want on each floor, and in what order.

The other notable difference between the games is that while Slay the Spire has four heroes, each with their own unique pool of cards, Monster Train has five factions. It’s one better. The first three factions feel pretty standard from a creativity point of view - red/green/blue are fire/nature/ice. The last two factions you unlock feel wholly unique though: there’s a faction that summons weak, cheap units and feeds on them for combat bonuses, and one that is made of candle beings who are powerful, but melt away. Okay, the real reason is that each time you play, you’re choosing a main faction (each has 2 champions to use from) and a secondary faction (you don’t get their champion, but you get access to their pool of cards). This makes each run feel unique and makes the game feel endlessly replayable. Even after unlocking all of the factions and their cards, and winning a run on the hardest challenge setting with each faction, I’m still playing Monster Train.

3. Spiritfarer

If Kentucky Route Zero is my “It’s Not You, It’s Me” game this year, Spiritfarer might be my “Love at First Sight” game of the year. The game’s striking visuals grabbed my attention immediately when I first saw the trailer at E3 2019, and it was billed as a game about saying goodbye. My only reservation was that it was coming from Thunder Lotus Games, whose previous titles (Jotun and Sundered) both fell flat for me.

Spiritfarer ended up being everything I was hoping for. You play as the newly-appointed ferryperson for the boat that transports souls from the land of the living to the land of the dead. Your ship acts as your base of operations, and you build living quarters, a kitchen, a forge, and lots of other facilities on it. The beings who join you on your ship are anthropomorphized animals, each with their own story. Your job is to help them be at peace, then send them to the next life once they’re ready.

In practical terms, you’re spending a lot of your time sailing from island to island to talk to people and find resources. There’s a plenty of crafting and time sinks in the game, and I appreciated the excuse to luxuriate in this game world. No game made me cry this year, but Spiritfarer (Alice’s story in particular) sure did try. It was the perfect respite for the nightmare that was 2020.

2. Yakuza: Like a Dragon

A lot of Yakuza fans were concerned over this game’s switch from the series’ usual brawling combat to turn-based RPG combat. I was not one of them. Everything about this game sounds like the sort of fan fiction someone like, well, like me would come up with on a late night drunken bender. “What if it was Yakuza, but like, JRPG battles? Why would that happen.....OH oh oh what if the main character was a big fan of DRAGON QUEST so he just, like, saw the world in those terms? You could have party members, and a Pokedex of all the weirdo scumbags you fight, and you could change jobs by going to a temp agency!”

All of that is in Yakuza: Like a Dragon. And I love it. The series’ producer says they decided to pivot to a turn-based combat system after positive reaction to an April Fools Day Yakuza RPG joke they put online. And there are some rough spots. Your party members get caught on the world’s geometry sometimes, and combatants are constantly milling around so AOE abilities feel like a crap shoot. The Yakuza series has always had about 30% too much combat, so translating it into a genre known for grindy gameplay feels like a perfect storm of sorts. Thankfully, I’m a fan of grindy RPG’s so all of this is directly in my wheelhouse.

This eighth game in the Yakuza series is the first with a new protagonist - goodbye Kiryu Kazuma, hello Ichiban Kasuga. Where Kiryu was very stoic, Ichiban is a hothead with the perfect mix of kindness, earnestness, and stupidity for a JRPG hero. He is an incredibly likeable and charismatic character, and I hope Ryu Go Gotoku Studio tightens up the battle system and keeps this iteration of the series running.

1. Hades

Hades seemed like a slam dunk. My favorite studio was making an action RPG based on Greek mythology. The announcement was the best possible version of “AND you can play it right now!” I bought it (in early access) immediately and played it a bit, but I didn’t want to burn out on it so I only briefly checked in on it every few months. As a result, my hype was pretty low when the game reached its 1.0 release.

Once I decided to fully engage with the game though, I was unable to put it down. SuperGiant’s games have the best writing, music, and voice acting in the business. That’s a pretty high bar to aim for, and they hit it once again with Hades. Both of their post-Bastion games (Transistor and Pyre) are games that I have to recommend with an asterisk though; the gameplay parts of each game is an acquired taste and will put some folks off.

Hades, however, I can give a full throated recommendation for. The gameplay is tight and the combat feels good. There’s a lot of variety in the weapons, so you can either find one that fits your style and stick with it, or do what I did and change it up every run. They also managed to achieve something incredible - they largely took the sting out of losing in a run-based game. There are things to unlock between runs as you’d expect from a roguelite. I found myself enjoying chatting with the denizens of hell as much as the moment to moment action gameplay. I’d respawn back home and make my rounds, taking to people and spending my cash. I had a route I’d travel each time, and that route ended with Skelly in the weapons room. Oh, the gauntlets grant a bonus if I use them this time....the door to start a new run is just right over there....okay I can do one more run tonight.

That personality and dialogue is sprinkled throughout the runs themselves too, in the form of the various Greek gods you talk to and get boons from. The variety in weapons and boons give the game tremendous replayability and give the game a deckbuilding feel. Every character in the game is incredibly well developed and well-acted. Zagreus is a likeable and relatable protagonist. He wants to get away from his disapproving father and find his estranged mother, and he and his father can’t see eye to eye.

The story and gameplay in Hades do equal lifting, the game is an incredibly complete package. The game also provided a couple of the most memorable moments of the year. Hades might just be SuperGiant’s best game. It’s certainly their most complete game.

*It’s very much on the lighter side of this gameplay style, akin to 2019′s Star Wars: Jedi Fallen Order. Plus there are difficulty settings, which I appreciate.

**Invisible Inc, Dragon’s Dogma, and The Outer Wilds come to mind.

***Final Fantasy VII Remake is only the first installment in a series

****Cloaked in shame and failure.

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