#how were supposed to live with memories and with seperation and with the past but we do it anyway so i think it doesnt matter much

[faaun]

procrastination is starting to have its consequences finally

[and-stir-the-stars]

shakes the lonely children au.

how the gregory. from whence does he come? when does michael wind up there? does he have to doe first, or is there a seperate living michael doong michael stuff somewhere? glitchtrap?? how aware/remembering is everyone at various points?

mildly obsessed with this concept, especially the mike for reasons lmao

Lmao ofc you would ask about logistics that we have yet to fully flesh out /lh joking

(long answer warning. Actually i checked and this answer is apparently over 2k words)

Okay so for the Gregory. The Greggor. The Gregorson. The Gregoroo. So far we've worked out that Vanessa ends up adopting Gregory and Goldie (Evan) and Fox (Mike) after everyone gets out of the VR game, which I suppose means Gregory is likely homeless or else lives with an abusive guardian. He's beta testing the game along with Vanessa; possibly his abusive guardian works in the VR development company and pulled strings to get him into beta testing the game, or else Gregory (homeless or not) decided "I'm bored and I wanna break into this video game place and have some fun" which is honestly very in character for him. Or, there could have been some silly Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory-esque competition for a young kid to be allowed to beta test the game that Gregory just so happened to win the golden ticket for (the whole thing actually being a trap set up by whoever ordered Glitchtrap to be scanned, to lure people in and give Glitchtrap a vessel); that'd be kinda funny. Anyway, like I said, we haven't developed this, so this is just me spitballing ideas here.

The whole premise of the au is that Evan was possessing Fredbear, but William manipulated Evan’s soul/Fredbear’s programming to make Evan live fnaf 4 over and over for Experiment Reasons. Except Will died before he could finish experimenting, trapping Evan there forever.

In my initial post about the au, I myself brush past how Mike gets into the Nightmare. Mike is already scooped by the time he finds Evan, so it's less of Mike "dying" to get inside and more like his remnant/soul/whatever transfers from one vessel to another-- from his decaying body to Fredbear. How this happens, I dunno. Maybe Mike chooses it; he knows his brother is in there and will stop at nothing to wake Evan up and help him Move On, even going so far as to possess the suit himself. Maybe his remnant/soul/whatever latches onto the suit by accident. Either way, Mike knows in advance that Evan is inside the Fredbear suit, that William was experimenting on Evan, but he doesn't know the how or what or why. He's taken by surprise when he goes into the suit and sees Evan’s Nightmare.

As for how Mike gets into the VR game, Fredbear’s circuits and stuff gets scanned into Help Wanted, which puts both Evan and Michael’s soul in the game. (Possibly the same person who ordered Springtrap's remains to be scanned in also ordered for Fredbear’s; it's no secret that Evan Afton died to Fredbear, so if whatever person that scanned William into the game wanted the whole Afton family, the person would Know that Evan might be possessing Fredbear).

Mike, Evan, and William all have varying levels of awareness at varying points in the au.

Evan starts out with very little memories. His memories were a bit hazy as a consequence of his death and the time he spent alone until William found him; part of William’s experimentation was trying to bring Evan’s memories back (making Evan’s dream look like his bedroom, tormenting Evan with his greatest fears, etc), but William died before he could finish his experiments, and the sheer repeptition of being attacked and killed by the Nightmares over and over so many times actually makes Evan’s awareness of his life worse. He remembers things, but not in full.

Evan knows that this bedroom must have been his once, but he doesn't remember why he picked out this specific set of covers, why he decided to put stars on the walls, which sets of clothes in the closet he used to wear most, which toy was his favorite to play with or why. He thinks the blurry faces on the wall must be his family, but he doesn't know anything about the five figures that he can't assume purely from looking at the blurry, dark pictures.

His own death to Fredbear has disappeared in the haze of dying to animatronics hundreds of times over anr over. He doesn't know if the Bite was his actual death or just another loop inside the Nightmare.

His memory fades in and out. Sometimes, he'll cry out for someone named Mikey to save him; he doesn't know who Mikey is or why he thinks this Mikey is supposed to save him. Sometimes, Evan gets flashes about a boy in a Foxy mask hurting him; he doesn't remember who this boy is-- that it's his brother, that it's Mike-- either.

Evan's memory gets worse when Mike enters the Nightmare. Mike’s presence messes with the system. Evan had been in the Nightmare long enough that each loop had started to blend together anyway, but when Mike enters the system, Evan is no longer able to remember each reset of the Nightmare. Instead, Evan only has instincts based on things that he can't remember. The general sense that trusting this Stranger who has suddenly appeared will only lead to bad things. Then, the sense that this Stranger actively wants to hurt him and should be avoided at all costs. Those instincts are as much memory as Evan is able to retain once Mike enters the system.

Mike’s memories are still intact when he first enters Fredbear, if a little shaken from how bizarre switching vessels like that was. But as time goes on-- as more and more loops happen-- his memory weakens. Partly this is because that's simply the result of being in a time loop; things blend together, it becomes harder to hold onto yourself. But his memory also weakens in response to the trauma of watching Evan die over and over while helpless to stop it no matter how hard he tries. As one loop turns into two, then seven, then ten, twenty, sixty, a hundred, two hundred, Mike starts dissociating from what's actually happening. He becomes apathetic and robotic in each attempt to stop Evan from dying; at a certain point, he becomes so robotic in each attempt that he treats Evan running away from him in terror without any emotion or guilt.

It becomes less about 'saving' Evan and more like Mike is a machine with one goal: stop the animatronics from getting Evan. Mike kills Evan before the animatronics have the chance to do it first. When Evan, terrified of the Stranger, tries running away, Mike emotionlessly manhandles him down, blind to Evan’s sobbing and screaming and struggling. Mike becomes less of a person and more a machine working on an algorithm to get results; when one method of achieving his goal fails, he moves on to the next. As hundreds of loops turn into thousands and tens of thousands, hundreds of thousands, Mike starts to waver. As it becomes harder and harder to believe that there's any chain of actions he can string together to save this little boy whose name he has long forgotten, his presence within the system starts to fade alongside his blind, robotic echo of faith. Not knowing what else to do, he enters Sleep Mode. He's still in the Fredbear suit, but what little 'conscious' he has left is nothing but a bundle of useless instincts shoved into a corner to be forgotten.

That's as Aware that the two of them are in Part One: The Endless Nightmare. It's a bit different in Part Two: Help Wanted, though.

There's actually two different versions of the story for Part Two. One in which Michael manages to retain some of his awareness (The Foxybro Fragment ending) and one in which Mike remains nothing more than a bundle of instincts desperate to protect this Boy Whose Name And Importance He Cannot Recall no matter what he must do to protect him (the Hollow Fragment ending).

In the Hollow Fragment ending, Mike has no awareness about who he himself is (hence why he's called The Fragment, though I think this Mike is so far gone that he doesn't even call himself the Fragment because he doesn't register himself as something--thing, not someone-- that *needs* a name), nor does he know who Evan is. He doesn't remember William or Liz. He doesn't remember that Evan is his brother. He doesn't remember Evan’s name. Doesn't remember the Nightmare or what life was like before either of them died. He doesn't even remember WHY he's trying to keep this boy safe and happy; the closest thing Fragment Mike has to emotion, really, is the sinking sense that he's failed this little boy so many times before. But of course, the problem with Fragment Mike not really being a person anymore is that a bundle of instincts could never know how to keep a little kid safe, happy, and cared for. Even if he does keep Evan safe from Glitchtrap, he doesn't know enough about what it means to be a person to make Evan feel loved or cared for, to comfort Evan when he's upset, or to make Evan happy. He doesn't have conversations with Evan, only gives concise, simple answers to any question Evan asks. If Evan were to ask for a hug, Mike would comply without any emotion; he doesn't really remember what a hug is or what it means or why someone would want one. The most Mike can do is give Evan empty, hollow imitations of what he thinks a little boy would want.

And then, in the Foxybro Mike ending, Mike does retain some of his core personality (not his memories, though; both Evan and Mike's memories have been lost to the trauma they faced and the transition from Fredbear to Help Wanted). Unfortunately, the part of his personality that Mike retains is his self-hatred, his self-doubt, his fierce determined belief that he can never do good in the world and he deserves to be punished and he should never, ever be trusted with anything-- let alone anyone-- because he will inevitably fail, hurt, and destroy them. Because of this, Mike ends up locking himself away in a Sister Location portion of the game to be destroyed over and over by the animatronics that killed him the first time (Mike doesn't remember that death, of course, but there's the primal, instinctive knowledge that this is where he belongs). Mike doesn't start unlocking the Big Brother parts of himself (the parts of himself that want to protect these two little kids, that just wants to play and tease with them, that just wants to be protected himself) until Gregory and Evan find him and start teasing those parts of himself out. Unfortunately, the Big Brother parts of himself that get unlocked will always be at war with his self-hatred and his certainty that it's neither safe nor fair for others to be near him.

Evan's awareness is the same in both of Part Two's branching paths. Like Mike, his mind has been so twisted and warped by the Endless Nightmare and the transfer from Fredbear to Help Wanted that he has no memories. He doesn't remember his life, his death, or the Nightmare; he only has primal instincts influencing his actions, instincts that are based on memories he no longer has, instincts that he follows even if they don't make sense to him.

He's afraid of animatronics, though he doesn't remember why. Evan either "spawns" inside the Night Terrors (aka fnaf 4) part of Help Wanted or the Night Terrors bedroom is one of the first rooms he finds. Either way, he gets in the room and doesn't leave. He's scared of the room, still having the instinctual knowledge that bad things happen in this room, but he also has the instinctual knowledge that bad things happen when he tries LEAVING the room. The room, at least, is a danger that almost feels familiar, which is in itself a comfort. People will often choose the familiar danger rather than the unfamiliar, unknown danger.

Evan doesn't even remember that this room is his. He doesn't recognize the toys as his, or the clothes, or the decorations. He doesn't recognize the blurry pictures on the wall as his family, either. He does recognize that the figures in the frame ARE a family, though. They stand close together. Some of the shots look like kids and parents playing. Evan would like to think that the figures in the photo are smiling and laughing; he can't see their faces well enough to make out their expressions, but he'd like to think that they're happy. And he wants their happiness for himself. He wonders about the family in the photos, but is too scared to look for them. So when Gregory finds him, and Evan sees this little kid with brown hair and a big smile that looks a lot like one of the blurry kids in the photographs in the bedroom walls, Evan latches onto him. He's scared of Gregory, yes, because Gregory is Strange and Unknown and there's instincts inside him telling him to be wary of a Stranger, but Evan wants to be happy, and he thinks maybe this is how he can be.

After Evan and Mike find each other (with a little help from Gregory) in thr Foxybro ending, they end up having to look for the little flashes of their memories they lost within the game's coding. 

As for William/Glitchtrap, well, we haven't talked about him much. I don't know if he recognizes Mike (in either ending) or Evan as his children, but he DOES see both of them as possessions and tools to be utilized so he can get what he wants, which is always how William viewed his children anyway

[mondscheinprinzessin]

*slithers into the room* May I ask what the dream fic would be about? 👀 No pressure of course, you don't have to answer if you don't want to! 💖 Also *hugs* /🐍

Okay let's see what I can recall.

Under the cut for tw rape/non con, alcohol abuse, general Joel self hatred found in my fics.

It starts with one of their friends in the crew quitting their job and they have to find a replacement for let’s say the light guy. Personnel management is Niko’s and Olli’s job and they quickly find someone they would trust with the job because he had graduated from their same school, so they know each other around some corner’s.

Joel meanwhile is shocked to see that guy and not prepared for what the new arrival will entail.

He had thought he had suppressed memories well enough and would never have to think about what happened again, buried underneath other problems, save to vanish among bigger things.

But Joel remembers, and he copes badly. Basically he doesn’t know how to cope at all, so he starts drinking more. And of course that doesn’t go by the others but when Joonas asks him he says it’s nothing, it’s fine, and they can just watch, not knowing how to help Joel who is unusually silent about his problems.

They’re more playing in his head, the pictures and memories, and Joel doesn’t know how to explain them to someone else, too many feelings attached to them that threaten to overwhelm him so he stays with drinking instead of talking, unable to move past this again with the guy around so often.

Past forward to a party at Joonas’ where Joel and that light guy somehow get into an argument. I forgot the dialogue I had in mind but it was about Joel’s string of hook-ups with a lot of women and something else.

And Joel starts laughing at first because this is so ridiculous. And then he gets so so angry. Because how dare he. And he snaps at the “piece of shit” and yells some more profanities until they’re seperated by Aleksi and Tommi, and Joonas moves Joel into his own flat and tells a confused Joel he’s crying, that’s why he’s getting him away from the party.

And there we have Joel’s breakdown with Joonas by his side who begs to understand what is going on with his best friend. And it’s only when Joel has cried everything out, that he’s so numb to everything now he can tell the story without the shame and self-hatred, and bitter nausea.

It was back in school when Joel didn’t have many friends but he did some school projects with that man who is now their light guy. Joel was supposed to sleep over at his after preparing a presentation together, and it was super fun at first, Joel thought he had finally found someone worth sticking too.

One of Joel’s recent insecurities was that he thought boys were as interesting as girls? And he needed to know what it was about. So he and guy tm(I need a name for him seriously) start to kiss, just exploring what it is like. And it’s nice honestly.

But guy tm (I’ll go with Leo now) doesn’t want to stop. And well, he doesn’t care that Joel does. And he coerses him into taking off his clothes, pushing him further and further till Joel really doesn’t want to do this anymore, but Leo doesn’t care.

He just has sex with him because he wants to, and just goes to sleep after while Joel lays on the mattress on the floor not knowing what to do or to think or to feel.

That’s what he finally tells Joonas in a slow whisper (and less words). They sleep cuddled together. Joonas goes over to his own flat the next morning, having an interesting conversation with Tommi (Tommi knows about Joonas’ feelings without having to be told about it), and it’s the start of Joel and Joonas basically living together.

There’s more of Joonas pushing Joel to tell his therapist about it (since Joel thought till this point it was irrelevant to bring up), another day of Joel admitting he would rather drink now but upon Joonas asking what the second best thing would be right now, he admits he just wants to cuddle.

(Also obviously Joonas gets Leo fired even without having to tell the others exactly what happened).

There’s a scene where Joonas asks Joel if he’s interested in men at all (because of a throwaway line of Joel’s “I never looked at men/boys again after that) and you know both of them realizing they have feelings for each other.

And they do finally get together. And of course the was an emotional sex scene at the end because hey, it’s me. With “Do you want to take your shirt off?”, “Can I touch your legs?”, “Does that feel good?”. To really bring home the difference and how much Joonas cares about him.

[staticscreenwriting]

Where the heart is // B. B.

Summary: Bucky and (Y/N) are getting a divorce because they are silly and both love the other so damn much. (Happy Ending!)

TW: Talk of divorce. Talk of potential pregnancy and babies.

A/N: Likes, reblogs, comments are all much appreciated. I am German. Sometimes I get the tense wrong or make mistakes. I am useless when it comes to punctuation. Go easy on me, please.] 

TAGLIST: Find the link to join my taglist in my bio. Will reblog this post with the taglist attached seperately. 

Waking up from this nightmare How's your life, what's it like there? Is it all what you want it to be? Does it hurt when you think about me? And how broken my heart is

The apartment is deadly quiet as Bucky steps inside, only the rattling of his keys echoing through the halls that once seemed so warm and inviting are now but a cold reminder of what used to be.

People never really talk about these moments. The after. The wreckage. The ruins of what used to be. Sure there are movies and books and countless songs but they take the feeling and they wrap it up in beautiful words and prose and make something beautiful of it.

There’s nothing beautiful in the way Bucky feels as his feet drag him towards what used to be his bedroom, which is now hers. There’s nothing beautiful in the way he feels as his eyes wander over to the closed door behind which lays an empty room. One that is empty not because of choice but because of the shitty cards life has dealt both him and her.

There is nothing beautiful about the way he feels. Only sadness. Only hurt.

When he turns the corner and steps into the bedroom, his heart drops for a second. He hadn’t expected her to be here, not with how quiet the place is. But sure enough, there she is. Sitting on the fluffy comforter they bought together, legs tucked underneath herself. She said that comforter was the exact same shade of blue as his eyes. Now she doesn’t even lift her head to look at him, focusing only on the box resting on the bed before her.

“Hey uh — I didn’t expect to run into you.”  

“ I live here. Sorry to disappoint.“

“ I know, that’s not what I meant. It’s just so quiet. “

She shrugs but still doesn’t look up. There’s so much resentment there, dripping from every word. He can’t fault her for it. Not even a little. If he was her, he’d hate himself too. Maybe this will make it easier for them. If she hates him, that’s a straight cut. Right? Hating is easy. It’s loving that’s hard.

“ It’s like that now. You here to get some of your stuff?” she asks, looking up at him for the first time. Her eyes are red and tired. Not like they were when he left, filled with tears and sorrow. Now they’re just infinitely sad and exhausted. Like all the life and all the warmth and all the passion that he fell so deeply in love with, has been sucked out of her. He hates knowing it’s partially his fault.

“ If that’s okay with you.”

“ sure. “

The movies and the poems and the books and the songs, they never talk about this. The after. The limbo. The “will you keep this or shall I take it?”

They don’t talk about the fact that you’re supposed to pack 5 years of relationship into a bunch of boxes and figure out what to do with it.

He quietly walks into the closet, as if making any noise would break whatever bubble is currently surrounding the two of them. Sometimes he wonders if things would be different had they been different people. Had they been able to express their feelings differently. Sometimes, in the most secret part of his heart, Bucky wishes there would’ve been screaming. Maybe screaming would’ve been helpful. Sure, it’s not the most eloquent way of communication but at least it is communication. But there was no screaming. Only silence. Only feelings swallowed up to never be spoken about. To suffocate them from the inside out.

Making as little noise as possible, Bucky grabs some of his clothes and stuffs them into the duffle bag Sam gave him. He had that look on his face, the pitiful one. The one that says “sorry, man”. There’s no reason to feel sorry for Bucky. This is his fault after all.

There’s a sound coming from behind him, and for a second he really believes it’s his mind playing tricks on him. But then he hears it again, louder this time, more clearly.

She’s laughing. Maybe not a full-on laugh but a chuckle. It’s been a while since he’s heard that sound.

“ What’s got you laughing like that ? “ Bucky asks as he turns back around only to be greeted by her smiling face. God how much he misses that smile.

She looks back down towards the box in front of her and the picture in her hand.

“ It’s uh — it’s a picture of the first time you stayed over. “

His legs carry him towards the bed as if they work on autopilot. As he sits down next to he can just about make out the scent of her shampoo. The one he bought for himself last week, not because he necessarily likes to use it. He bought it because he misses the scent. Because he misses her. And if he can keep her close like this, even for a small moment, he’ll buy an entire store's worth of shampoo.

Her fingers gently grip the picture so as to not rip or crumble it. He can’t hold back the smile that pulls at the corner of his lips as he recognizes the picture. It’s a slightly less gloomy version of him, in love and asleep. Curled up on her old tiny couch in her old tiny apartment with her dog Yoda sleeping soundly on his chest. He was so nervous to stay over at her place the first time he did. Nervous about so many different things but mostly about doing something to hurt her. Physically but also emotionally. To think that now his biggest fear came true, crushes his heart even further.

“ I miss Yoda. He was a good dog,” she says as she puts the photo back into the box. Truth be told, Bucky misses him too. He was grumpy and lazy and he didn’t ever really listen to them. But he was loyal and cuddly and all in all, he was the perfect dog for the two of them. And he had accepted Bucky into his and her life immediately. As if he knew that Bucky of all people needed nothing more than a chance to prove himself to be something other than a killer.

There are more pictures in the box, alongside other clutter that Bucky can’t quite make out. One of the other pictures he can see clearly, is one of the two of them on their first Halloween. The Halloween that Bucky didn’t want to dress up for. The one he promised himself he would spend curled up on his couch watching a scary movie and not open the door to anyone, Trick or Treaters or otherwise.

He ended up going out anyway. With her. FOR her. And it was one of the best nights of his life even if it meant he had to dress up like a skeleton.

“ What is all this? “ he asks though, by the way his heart starts beating faster, Bucky isn’t sure he even wants to know the answer to that question. “ You getting rid of our pictures? “

He doesn’t want it to sound so accusatory. They’re broken up. Separated. In the early process of a divorce. She has every right to get rid of their pictures. Get rid of him. Bury the memories. Just because he can’t let go doesn’t mean that she’s grieving in the same way.

“ No, “ she scoffs and pulls out a small scrap of paper, “ this is a memory box I started when we first got together. It’s things I didn’t know where to put but that I wanted to hold on to. I had planned to give it to you for our 10 year anniversary but … well “

She doesn’t have to say it. He knows.

“ Then after the — seperation I put some other stuff in there. Memories.” 

“ Can I see what else is in there? “ he asks “ since I won’t get to see it on our 10 year anniversary.”

Bucks isn’t quite sure why he adds that to the end of his sentence. It makes him sound spiteful and mean and he can tell, by the look on her face, that it hurts her. And he’s done enough of that in the past. Isn’t that exactly the reason they are here in the first place?

She considers it for a moment and Buck can only guess the different kinds of emotions running through her then. He feels them too. All of them. They are confusing and most of them are negative. She has no reason to let him see this, relish in sweet nostalgia with him as if everything is okay and they’re not getting a fucking divorce.

“ Sure, I guess. I —  yeah.”

She scoots more to the middle of the bed, making more space for Bucky to sit down properly. He’s perched on the side that was his. The side he fell asleep on and woke up on so many times. And she was there next to him. Always there and warm and soft. And she’d smile at him through sleepy eyes and a hazy mind and she’d rival the sun. And then she’d gently comb her fingers through his hair and say good morning and he knew it would be — a good morning.

He hasn’t had a good morning since he left.

She moves the box to sit between them on the bed and motions for Bucky to start digging in.

There’s a pile of what he realizes are old movie tickets. It's something they used to do when they first started dating. Thursdays were movie days. But while everyone went to see the new blockbusters, the two of them would pick the movies that sounded the weirdest and they’d buy a big bucket of popcorn and blue raspberry slushies and just relish in the grandeur that is bad cinema. Most of the time they were the only ones at the cinema. Sometimes things got — R rated.

“ Why did we stop doing this? “ she asks as Bucky looks up from the tickets “ going to the movies I mean. It was always my favorite day of the week. “

He tries to remember. Tries to pinpoint the moment when life changed and their Thursdays weren’t their Thursdays anymore. He can’t. He comes up empty.

Sometimes life changes in little ways, ones you don’t realize at that moment and they don’t seem significant either. It’s a broken tradition. A missed movie night. It’s slow and creeping but at some point, you stop and look at your life now and it doesn’t resemble your life then anymore. Everything has changed and you didn’t even notice. Not for one single second.

“ I have —  I have no idea. “ he has to confess.

“ Remember that movie with the killer florist ? “ she asks and her voice is laced with laughter. Something sparks up in his heart. A tiny flicker of something he’s missed. Something he hasn’t felt in a while. He can’t help but laugh along.

“ I do! Or the one where the woman fell in love with the Koi in her neighbor's pond? ”

“ Oh god! That was terrible. “

“ It was.”

She looks wistful for a moment as if her thoughts wander off to some long-forgotten memory.

“ What are you thinking about? “

He never usually had to ask her. He’d either know or she’d tell him on her own accord. It’s like there’s an invisible wall between them. One he wants to break down or climb over so badly. But does she want him there? After everything?

“ The day we saw that movie was the first time you said I love you. “

It’s true. Now that she mentions it he remembers it so clearly. It’s like he’s suddenly faced with a scene from a movie he’s forgotten about a long time ago but once someone mentions it, he remembers it in great detail. Knows every word. Every line.

“ I still don’t quite know what it was about that moment that made you say it but — “ she trails off, a smile playing on her lips.

Bucky knows. It wasn’t a groundbreaking realization back then. He’d been feeling it for months. Fell deeper in love with her with every glance, every smile, every silly movie he got to watch with her. They went to some dingy diner after the movie to grab a burger and some fries. The leather seats were old and the filling was spilling out, the air smelled of grease and air freshener, and the laminated menu cards were sticky with undefinable stains. All things considered, it should’ve been a bad date. It wasn’t though. Nothing was ever bad with her. She smiled. All she did was smile and hum along to some song Bucky didn’t know as it spilled from the jukebox. And it occurred to him then, that there was no need for a big gesture or a special moment. Every moment with her was special. Life couldn’t get any better than this. Existing was enough if only she was there.

“ Nothing. “

“ Hm? “

“ There was nothing special about that moment. I just realized that I would be okay with anything if only you are there. You — that’s all I need in life. “

She looks at him then and for a second he thinks that maybe she’ll kiss him. Tell him that they are making a mistake and ask him to come back. Tell him that she doesn’t blame him. That she forgives him. That she wants him anyway. Despite — everything. She doesn’t though. Just sighs and pulls another picture from the box.

It’s a picture of the two of them cuddled up on the couch with a tiny white ball of fluff resting on her chest.

“ Our first picture with Alpine. “

“ That was taken on the day we found him. Look, you can clearly see the scratches on my face from crawling around the dumpsters to rescue him. “ Bucky points out.

He had never thought of himself as a cat person. Really he wasn’t so much an anything-person anymore, after Hydra. But somehow that little cat had wormed his way into his heart and refused to leave.

“ Was worth it though! “

Bucky nods his head in agreement “ it was. “

“ You should — you should take him. He’s really more your cat than mine.”

“ He’s our cat.” he points out.

“ Bucky there won’t be an ours anymore. Soon.”

It breaks his heart. Over and over again. He just got used to being himself. The version he was when he was with her. How is he gonna deal with doing it all over again? He doesn’t want to be a version of himself after her.

“ I don’t have a place yet and Sam’s allergic. “

“ He can stay here until then, of course. I love him. “

There’s a lot of love there that’s being given up on, Bucky realizes. And he hates every part of it.

“ Shit, remember this? “ she chimes up again as her hand holds onto a thin receipt, the black ink bleached away and thinned out from years of being stuck in a box. From years of memories fading.

“ Is that from the —”

“ The tattoo place, yeah. “

The patch of skin on the inside of his arm grows hot as if he is suddenly aware of what is there. Something long forgotten. A small letter forever etched into his skin in black ink like the way she’s forever etched into his heart. Always there. Forever. Just like the delicate lines that write his own name onto her collar bone. James. Not Bucky. Not Winter Soldier. James.

“ Oh god, I can’t believe you kept these,” Buck exclaims as he picks a pair of bright blue knitted socks from the box. They’re made from scratchy wool and there are a million and one holes in them. It’s so her. So quintessentially her. To keep them. With their holes and their scratchy wool and all. Even if they’re a mess. Even if they’re broken. She holds onto things no matter how bad. No matter how lost and sad and broken and useless. She holds on tight and doesn’t let go. Unless you make her. Unless you force her to. Unless you break her heart.

“ Umm … you made them for me. Like you literally learned how to knit to make me a pair of socks to keep my feet warm. That is the most romantic thing anyone has ever done for me, Buck. Of course, I kept them. “

Bucky bashfully shrugs his shoulders, a tint of red dusting his cheeks. “ I’m glad you liked them. Even if they’re scratchy. “

“ I like you and Alpine and you guys are the scratchiest,” she points out. She’s not wrong.

“ Was I a good boyfriend? “ Bucky asks and while in the grand scheme of things it really doesn’t matter, he wants to know anyway. Wants to know he did something right.

“ You were the best boyfriend. “

“ I’m sorry I was a shit husband. “

She stays quiet for a moment and with every second that passes by he breaks more and more. He wonders how much of him is left at this point. How much there’s still to lose. Then again, what does it matter? He lost her and that’s all that really matters.

“ You weren’t a shit husband, Bucky. “

It’s like the world suddenly moves in slow motion as they both grab the 2 things left in the box.

Bucky holds onto the blue velvet box knowing exactly what’s inside. The last time he held it, got on his knees in front of her, put the ring on her finger, that was one of the best days of his life. A sign that the Winter Soldier was his past and that he could finally truly move on. They were younger, in love. Happy. Now he hardly remembers what happiness feels like.

“ I was so nervous to give this to you. Not because I thought you’d say no or anything. I just — I just wanted to be enough. The ring and the proposal and — me. “

“ You were always enough. “ she says and he can hear the tears in her voice. It’s thick and heavy and he knows that if he looks at her now, there will be tears in her eyes too.

But he doesn’t look at her then. His eyes fall onto the piece of fabric in her hands. It’s so small. Soft peached colored with a little bunny embroidered on the front. It���s tiny and cute and it belongs to no one. It’s tiny and it should’ve been theirs. But it isn’t.

“ No, I wasn’t. He says and shakes his head. You deserve more than I can give you. “

She throws the baby romper back into the box and gets off the bed as if someone has set it on fire.

“ What’s wrong? “ he asks as if he doesn’t know. Everything. Everything about this situation is wrong. They’re supposed to make love on this bed, not cry over memories long gone. Push away thoughts of their looming divorce.

“ I don’t know, Bucky. Maybe you can tell me. “ She calls out to him as she pulls the rest of his shirts from the closet and throws them into the bedroom. Colors of fabric flying through the air like wings of a bird flapping through the winds. Some of them she lops at him, passion and anger and wrath and sadness filling her eyes. “ Maybe you can tell me why the fuck we’re doing this. Why we’re putting ourselves through all this pain and suffering and this bullshit divorce. Maybe you can tell me why you left me to have a fucking breakdown every time I walk into my closet and see this goddamn dress, “ she cries while holding up the hanger over which her beautiful white wedding dress is draped. God, she looked so beautiful that day. Like a goddess. Like an angel. Like his redemption.

“ We were happy. We were trying to have a family. And then what — it doesn’t work and you leave? You just gave up. “

“ I didn’t give up. “

“ Yes, you fucking did! You gave up and you served me divorce papers and you didn’t even give me a fucking choice. “

“ You agreed! “

“ Because I love you and if you don’t want to be with me, then I am not keeping you. I love you enough to let you be happy even if it’s without me.”

Those words send a shock through his heart. Like an icicle. Cold and sharp and unforgiving.

“ You think I don’t love you? You think YOU are the reason?,” Bucky questions before grabbing the romper from the box and holding it up “ this is the reason. This is my fault and mine alone. It’s my fault that this belongs to no one. It’s my fault that there’s an empty room in this apartment that you can’t walk into because it hurts you too much to see it empty. You deserve to be a mother and clearly, I can’t give that to you. That’s the burden I carry but it’s not one that should be put on you. I can’t give you this but you deserve it and you should have it. So this is me letting you go so you can find someone that can give you a baby. Someone who isn’t broken. Someone who doesn't have a body that doesn’t work anymore. Not in the way it should. “

“ James, “ her words a but a whisper as his name tumbles from her lips and she lets her wedding dress fall to the floor to sit next to him and hold his face in between her hands. “ That wasn’t your fault and you are not broken. I want a family, yes. I want a child. But with you. I want a family with you and it doesn’t matter if it’s my blood or not. It’s our family whichever way we decide to do this. And if we — if we stay just us and Alpine that’s fine too. I just want you and whatever else we decide on. Together. I love you, James. I love you and I miss you and I don’t want a baby if it’s not with you. A family means nothing if it doesn’t include you. Whatever the consequences of the serum are, they are not your fault. You are not broken, James. You are you. You’re a hero. A husband. And maybe one day a father but above all, you are James Buchanan Barnes, a survivor and you are not broken.  “

He knows he should be saying so many things right then but all his thoughts get tangled up and won't find the way to his lips.

Instead, he says the only other thing he can think about right then.

“ You looked so beautiful in your wedding dress. “

She laughs through the flood of tears that leak from her eyes and trail down her face.

“ I mean you always look beautiful but that day. My god. I honestly couldn’t believe you said yes to me — of all people. 106 year old me. Wouldn’t believe it until the moment you walked down the aisle. Then I knew that this was really the start of my new life. Of my forever. “

“ I miss you Bucky. “

“ I miss you too. “

“ I don’t want to divorce you. I want to be your wife and I want you to be my husband.”

“ Even without the babies? “

“ Yes, “ she nods and brushes her fingers through his short hair. “ You are my family James and you are enough for me. Always”

“ I love you. “ he says because really, it’s the only thing he can think of. The thing he wants most. The only thing that matters.

Without another word, he pulls the ring from the box and delicately slips it back onto her finger. Where it belongs. Where it always belonged.

“ I’m sorry I was ever this stupid. I should’ve just talked to you “

“ Yeah you should have but right now can you — can you just kiss me? “

She doesn’t need to ask him twice. He kisses her once, then twice, then once again. It’s been a long long time since the last time he’s kissed her. Too long. Way too long.

He’s not gonna stop anytime soon. Never again. Never ever again.

“ Hey, “ he says “ how about you slip into your wedding dress I think for all my stupid decisions I owe you a dance. “

“ I think you might be right. “

And she’s smiling, so bright and radiant. Like the sun. Like all the stars. Like his own personal light in the darkness.

“ Don’t expect too much though. I just cried, my hair is a mess — I won’t look the way you remember me looking in this dress. “

“ You’ll look gorgeous.”

And he’s right. She looks breathtaking. She looks like a wonderful, wonderful dream. Like love captured in a person. Like a second chance. Like his home.

There are a lot of thoughts racing through Bucky’s mind as he pulls her close and they sway to the melodic tunes of their wedding song as it sounds from the speakers of her cellphone. But above all there’s love. And the knowledge that he is enough. That they are enough. Their tiny little family. Perfect and not broken or missing anything. It’s good as it is.

They don’t have to think about who gets to keep the decorative throw pillows, the records they used to collect together, the plates that were a wedding gift, the cat. Because it’s theirs. Together. Shared.

And forever.

[graceslavenderhaze]

just wanna be with you; reggie x reader

“are you okay?” that was the first question julie had asked you when she saw you the morning after you both had learned that the boys were planning on crossing over before the jolts that caleb had placed on them destroyed them. 

“ i feel like i should be asking you that.” you said bluntly as you let your best friend into your house which was empty other than you at the moment. you both trailed into your kitchen. ripped pages of your journal laid in crumpled balls, a mug of hot chocolate which was half drank was next to your song journal. you wrote your best songs when you were emotional and last night was definitely emotional. 

you picked up your mug and went to refill it as well as make one for julie. she sat herself down at the table, her wondering eyes drawn to the journal. she knew a love song when she saw one. 

“did you write this?” julie asked pointing at the song labeled ‘just wanna be with you’. you placed both of your mugs back on the table and sat down. you bit your bottom lip as you took a deep breath. 

“yeah, i wrote it about or i guess for reggie.” you blurted out to your best friend. she placed her hand onto your outstretched one, comforting you. you felt all of your emotions crash down onto you like a tidal wave. 

“i’ve never felt this way about anyone ever not even carrie, i’ve never been so- i’ve never written a song about someone i like. ever! and then he just comes out of nowhere the afterlife and everything and for the first time since carrie broke up with me, i felt. i can’t even compare it to carrie but he makes me feel like there’s nothing we can’t do if we’re together, and no matter what happens i know he’ll be there. i just wanna be with him, jules.” your voice was raw as a few loose tears escaped your eyes. 

“that’s love, if i know anything from how my parents looked at each other and every stupid rom com that we’ve watched with flynn. you’re in love with him.” julie said to you as she wiped the tears off of your cheeks. you let what she said sink in, love. you were in love with reggie. 

“fuck flynn’s never gonna let me live this down!” you joked to your best friend. she broke a smile. she stood up and held her hand out for you. you gave her a confused look. she pulled you up from your seat.

“you’re getting dressed, meeting up with reggie before we play the orpheum and giving him this song. life is too short for you to just sit back and not tell people how you feel about them. you have to live in the moment, and even if you lose him. you’ll always have the memories.” handing you the journal that laid on the table, you both rushed upstairs to your bedroom not before you muttered “i hate how you’re always right.”

it had been at least an hour since you got ready. julie had picked out a cute outfit consisting of your favorite pieces of clothing that you owned, insisting that flynn says that the more comfortable you are in your skin, the more comfortable you’ll be laying your heart out. you also had your backpack slung over your shoulder with your clothes for later tonight when the band plays the orpheum and then, clothes for a sleepover with julie later on. neither of you wanted to be alone after the guys crossed over. 

“stop worrying you look fantastic.” julie said to you. you found it ironic. your best friend was playing one of the most iconic clubs in all of Los Angeles tonight and here she was calming you down over telling reggie how you feel. you played with the bracelets on your wrists, more specifically the red and black one that had a small bass charm in the middle. julie smirked when she noticed the small charm but opted not to say anything. 

“i’m gonna go pick out my outfit for tonight, and i’ll rangle dumb and dumber out so you can be alone with reggie. you got this!” julie said to you before walking into the studio to say some half true lie to get alex and luke out so you could be alone with reggie. after standing alone for five minutes and convincing yourself while it seemed convenient, running from your issues wouldn’t solve anything. 

“hey.” you mentally face palmed. hey thats the best you had? reggie looked up from the grand piano he had been fiddling with the keys of. a smile came across his face when he saw you. his smile was one of your favorites. 

“hey, shouldn’t you be helping julie?” he asked confused being as mere minutes ago julie had brought luke and alex up to her room to help wrap last minute details up for the orpheum show. you placed your backpack down and fished out your journal. your heart was beating in your chest like thunder, as if it was going to just combust out. 

“yeah, but first i wanted to show you this song that i wrote.” you stumbled on your words a little and after getting the sentence out your mouth had never felt drier. reggie looked bewildered, normally you shared your songs with julie and flynn. this was the first time you’d ever wanted to show him a song of yours and also the last. 

“i thought that’s something that you and julie do with flynn?” you approached the grand piano and sat next to him. it was now or never at this point. you pushed the knowing that by tonight after they opened, him and the guys would be gone. 

“yeah but it’s something special that i think would just be better if you were the one to hear it. is that okay?” your voice was soft and you’d never been this close to reggie before. the past few days you’d been avoiding being alone with him to see if you could try to resolve your crush on your own. it was impossible.

“yeah, no totally, that’s rad.” he said nervously starting to fiddle with his rings. you let out a soft laugh. you opened the page that the song was on and placed your hands on the keys.

 “ I got a lot of things I have to do All these distractions Our futures coming soon We're being pulled a hundred different directions But whatever happens I know I've got you

You're on my mind you're in my heart It doesn't matter where we are It'll be alright Even if we're miles apart

All I wanna do, is be with you, be with you There's nothing we can do just wanna be with you Only you No matter where life takes us nothing can break us apart You know its true I just wanna be with you

You know how life can be It changes over night It's sunny then raining, but it's alright A friend like you Always makes it easy I know that your kidding me every time

Through every up through every down You know I'll always be around Through anything you can count on me

All I wanna do, is be with you, be with you There's nothing we can do just wanna be with you Only you No matter where life takes us nothing can break us apart You know it's true I just wanna be with you

I just wanna be with you” 

 you felt a weight life off your shoulders when you finished and you wondered why you’d been so nervous, then you remembered that reggie was still sitting next to your and your nerves came swinging right back. you turned to him and for once staring into his eyes didn’t comfort you, it scared you. 

“i know that after tonight you’re gone but i’d be an idiot if i didn’t tell you how i felt before you left. i’ve never wrote a song for anyone i’ve lov-like liked.” the words tumbled out of your mouth uncontrollable. reggie smiled. he wanted to kiss you and in that moment he regretted everything. had they focused on the band instead of being so hellbent on getting revenge against bobby, then they wouldn’t have gotten stamped and wouldn’t be crossing over at all. 

“you have no idea how much i want to kiss you. ” he said softly. you smiled, you wanted to kiss him so badly. 

“i’m gonna miss you, so much.” you admitted. you knew he couldn’t stay but you wanted him to. 

“you are unlike any girl i’ve ever met or have like liked either, y/n y/l/n. i wish we had more time.” he said coming closer to you. your eyes closed for a moment and you forgot just what was happening. he wouldn’t be able to kiss you. you’d go straight through him. 

“we can’t, i want to but you know we can’t.” your words were soft and quiet but loud enough to break both of your hearts. you both wanted this so badly but the universe wouldn’t allow it. you merely coexisted together, you were still from two seperate worlds. 

“your favorite flowers are forget me nots right?” he asked you after the two of you had pulled away. you nodded and almost as a reflex played with the bracelet on your wrist with a forget me not charm. he removed his necklace from around his neck, with the blue beads and silver bar at the middle. the entire time you’d known reggie he’d never been seen without it. 

“then consider this a forget me not.” he then took the necklace and placed it around your neck. you removed the red and black bracelet with the bass charm. you placed it around his wrist. 

“only if you consider this a forget me not as well.” “ forever.” your phone beeped interrupting the moment. 

julie: i love you but i’m going to find a way to rekill these himbos soon. 

“i should go actually help julie now. i really don’t wanna say goodbye.” this was probably the last moment you had with reggie and you never wanted it to end. 

“so don’t say goodbye just say i’ll see you around.” he said jokingly. you nodded as a few tears made their way out of your eyes. you stood up from the grand piano grabbing your journal, you walked over to your backpack and turned around, your fingers fiddling with your forget me not token. 

“see you around guitar cutie.” you said before walking out of the studio. 

“not if i see you first!” he yelled back. you smiled and continued to walked up to julie’s room. closing the door and then sliding down against it once you’d entered. 

“i fell in love with a ghost. full teasing rights once my heart heals, let flynn know.” you stated as you slumped on the floor in a slightly love struck daze.

“no shit!”

“is this suppose to be new news?”

“shut up shes in loveeee.”

“yeah and i’ve come to take your spot as julie’s fashion stylists.” you joked as you got up. alex and luke poofed out after a few more side comments. julie smirked. 

“nice necklace you got there.” she winked before the two of you got to work. 

flashing forward to two hours later, flynn and you stood on the side wings of the stage clutching onto each other, both of you dressed in your concert outfits . julie, alone center stage with only her keyboard, microphone and a dahlia with her. you were all on edge, the guys wouldn’t bail again. there’s no way. so there was only one other explanation. the jolts destroyed them before they got to crossover. 

as julie started playing stand tall, the song you had heard so many times from sitting in on the practices, you thought you were imagining hearing alex’s drums until you and flynn both saw him with your own eyes. 

“holy shit.” then reggie appeared next to julie, causing you and flynn to jump with excitement. they were still here, they were going to crossover. you noticed how the charm from the bracelet reggie was still wearing had twinkled under stage lights and him looking back up and you and winking. 

“it’s your lover boy!” flynn teased. you couldn’t deny it because at this moment you were to happy to even bother. 

“c’mon luke.” you had started to muttered noticing that he was flickering onstage causing both of the present phantoms to give you a worried glance. after a few tries he managed to stay solid onstage. 

“yes!” you and flynn both cheered on the sidelines. dancing and singing to the song that you knew would be stuck in your head by tomorrow. you were all happy in this moment. 

when the song ended reggie looked back at you and mouthed very clear words. “i love you.” before you could say it back the boys disappeared. you placed the silver bar of the necklace to your lips and kissed it muttered “i love you too” before. joining flynn in cheering for julie. everything was over, but you left nothing unsaid. 

“so y/n, spill the details about your out of this world love affair.” julie joked as the three of you were in the dressing room changing into your street outfits. you laughed. folding the clothes you wore and putting them back into your backpack before looking in the mirror to check over last time. 

“wait is that reggie’s?” flynn asked pointing at the necklace you wore all night. you blushed slightly. then julie noticed the missing red and black bracelet. 

“yeah it’s a forget me not. something to remember him by. i’ll explain it all tomorrow i’m still processing it honestly.” you said turning around to her. flynn hugged you. you were happy you had your friends. 

“i’m gonna go make us popcorn and pick a movie.” you said once julie and you had gotten back to her house for the night. you knew she wanted a moment alone in the garage to thank her mom for bringing the guys to her and music back into her life. 

once you had the popcorn in julie’s bed and were picking out a movie on her laptop she texted you a 911, code red, and a bunch of other phrases for her saying you needed to get into the garage asap. 

“hey jules what do half of these codes even mean?” you asked as you walked into the garage. “what the fuck, you guys crossed over. you shouldn’t be here.” you said when you saw your favorite ghosts standing in a group hug with julie. they looked like they were dying twice all over.

“come here!” julie said grabbing you and pulling you into the hug. the guys all started to glow a golden color and the stamps caleb had put on them dissolved.

“what do you think that means?” julie asked. you shrugged, up until like a month ago you didn’t even think ghosts actually existed.

“i think it means the bands back.” luke said causing the group hug to jump up and down in a fit of happiness over playing the orpheum. once the group hug broke up, you launched yourself forwards towards reggie.

“i love you too.” he smiled. 

“kiss her!” julie coughed trying to be subtle. luke and alex both nodded encouraging their friend. 

“yeah kiss me guitar cutie.” you said with confidence causing him to do so. you could hear the hollers of your best friends in the background losing their minds which made the moment better for you.

“so what do i tell flynn?” julie asked once you pulled away for air. 

“we’ll tell her tomorrow, she’s probably still reeling from tonight.” you said. julie nodded then had another outburst excitement over the fact that they just played the orpheum. 

reggie picked you up and swung you around before kissing you again. “i don’t know what’s better playing the orpheum or kissing you.” he said. 

“also which one of you is responsible for carlos knowing?” julie asked in the middle of the moment. the guys faces all became panicked.

“busted!” you said holding a hand for your best friend to high five.

--

this is the first thing i’ve ever wrote to post publicly and idk if i like it or not but just wanna be with you lives in my head rent free so i saw my opportunity and i took it honestly. let me know if you guys like this those maybe i’ll start posting again. <3

[hauntedliz]

Unus Annus is a Tragedy

This is a big ole theory that comes after a lot of discussion on the lore hunters discord, so I can’t take all the credit for these ideas, but this is definitely my particular take on it. Hopefully it makes sense lol 

Mark and Ethan made a deal: to have one whole year to create whatever they wanted without worry or consequences. No fear of ad revenue or views, just the opportunity to make exactly what they wanted. 

They, at least metaphorically if not literally, shook hands with Unus and Annus, and the deal was done. One year of free time, no consequences. Since then we’ve seen them laugh, cry, get angry, go through hardships, and achieve victories. We’ve seen them live, and we’ve also seen them die. Literally in Ethan’s case (”How to Start a Fire”). And then we’ve seen him back in the next video, good as new. We’ve also seen Mark lose touch with reality (Hee Hoo) and return to his usual self by the next video. No consequences. 

But something else interesting has been happening. We’ve seen secret messages hidden in the videos, deciphered and read pleas to stop the clock... Someone doesn’t want it all to end. Even before Mark and Ethan opened the coffin in “The Truth of Unus Annus” and were (presumably) replaced by Unus and Annus, someone was begging for more time. 

(Buckle up. This gets long and I didn’t want to fill up your dash lol)

Who is this person? We should help, shouldn’t we? Don’t we all wish our beloved channel could survive the year? If there wasn’t a chance it could be saved, these messages wouldn’t exist... right? 

Well, no. I think the channel will be deleted as we’ve been told from day one. I think this battle we’re seeing (and some of us fighting in) is one that’s been going on since the beginning of time, and Mark and Ethan just so happened to get wrapped up in it by making the deal. We’re only seeing it now, because this is the first time it’s been documented like this before. 

It’s the battle against for time. 

Unus means “one.” He wears black, a color that often symbolizes death. In the newer ending animations he passes Annus a clock and also wields a scythe. He is the grim reaper. He is death. 

Annus means “year.” He wears white, a color that often symbolizes life. In the end animations when Unus swings the clock to him it becomes a skull. He then holds a flower, a symbol of life, which ultimately wilts. He is the present. He is memories. He is the life of a year. 

I don’t think the clock and videos in general are beginning to glitch (the clock going back for a second in “Blood Bath,” static, weird audio, strange jumpcuts especially in “Accepting the Truth,” and of course the hidden codes.) because of anything Mark and Ethan alone are doing. Someone with more power has to be using or working with them to get more time. 

Someone like Annus. 

Now, I don’t see Unus or Annus as good or evil. Neither is the villain of the channel. As Mark said in “Who’s Cutting Onions in Here?” death isn’t the opposite of life, but part of it. Unus and Annus may say they hate each other (as they have insisted in several videos), but they are two sides to the same coin. They are brothers. They both have a role to play in the universe: Annus must live and create memories in the time he’s given, and Unus must end things. 

The glitching we’ve been seeing occurs when a well oiled machine begins to break down. When Unus and Annus try to take more than they’re given. Annus is trying to take more time (with or without the help of Mark and Ethan). He doesn’t want the year to end, he wants to stop the clock and live in this moment for longer. 

For Unus, he tries to take things before their time. For example, when Mark kills Ethan at the end of “How to Start a Fire.” Or, as Mark scolds him in “Brutally Honest,” for trying to end videos early. (While in my opinion, this is just Ethan being Ethan, I think another fun connection is how Ethan usually quits hard/gross food challenges before they’re finished lol). It can’t be easy being the ender of things, so I can understand why it might seem less painful to end things as quickly as possible. To stop before there is time to miss what’s gone. 

In greedily trying to take more than they’re both given, they have disrupted the harmony of life. Maybe the only way to fix things and bring harmony back to the universe is by allowing the channel to die. Let the channel be erased and let Mark and Ethan move on. 

If we let it end, as nature intends everything to one day end, then we can “push reset” and start anew with whatever comes next. 

Now does this mean all of our code hunting and fighting was for nothing if all we really have to do is let it die as intended? Not at all! A year is an excellent cause to fight for! These memories have meant so much, and we absolutely should be solving every puzzle we can, but when it comes time- the true time for the end, we have to accept it as part of life. 

I have a theory that Unus knows how this works: they have a year together, it ends, but then life begins again in a new year. He is death, he remembers it all. But Annus never remembers this cycle or the past years/lives, because for him they always have to end. He resets and is a new year, a new Annus (at least mentally). 

I bet it really takes a toll on Unus to have to end things every time, despite the fight Annus puts up to stay. And he should fight for it! Life is an amazing, beautiful experience even through the hard parts! It is worth the battle, but again, death is not the opposite of life, but part of it. And it always must ultimately come. 

I get why Unus would get greedy and want to make things shorter. The sooner it’s over, the sooner it can begin again. It must be so painful to hurt your brother in this way over and over again, because he can’t understand and never will. 

*coughs* um, is this a theory or a fanfic? I’m not crying you are. Sorry lol.

But I think the point here is to rage against the dying of the light anyway, but that the only way to win and beat it is to let it happen when its time comes. We got our year, and now it will end as it’s supposed to. And something new and amazing will begin again! 

I also just wanted to point out a fun little thing I noticed in “The Truth of Unus Annus” that kind of goes along with my theory a little bit. When Ethan and Mark open the coffin they are facing one another, a united front. 

And when the coffin closes, and Unus and Annus are there in their places, they are facing forwards and away from each other. No long united. 

THEY JUST GLANCE AT EACH OTHER AND SEPERATE 

I’m crying

Anyway, if you’re still here you’re a star. I hope this even vaguely made sense and there weren’t too many typos. It’s a lot, I know lol. 

[ganondoodle]

demise backstory (summary)

I didnt actually plan on wrtiting a summary of demises backstory (that i came up with, idk if its any good) but im realizing how long it will take me to draw it all, especially with job related things getting in the way all the time, so i guess im gonna post a badly summarised version of it right here right now, some things might change but thats always the case with my writing, nothings set in stone.

(please be aware that im not the best writer and didnt put much effort into this, it got longer than i thought but well meh :V ignore the typos, i wrote this at 1 am ;O; )

I didnt proof read anything, so this is a mess, anyway here goes nothin:

As far as i know, there have been multiple cases of hyrule having some sort of alternate mirror version of itself or just an alternate world somehow somewhere, so my personal idea about this is that demise WAS what hylia is for hyrule, a deity of protection. thats also where the whole inverted triforce symbols come from in my design for him, im not saying its lorule, but its definitely inspired by it to some degree. so they also had a triforce (here simply called "relics"), but it was split into the three pieces, for each of the three main nations/countries one, originally it was split like this as a way of sharing it equally AND to keep it safe, since if someone was to want the whole thing, theyd have to fight three different giant nations for it, which was thought as being pretty impossible.

as i said before, demise (might not have always been his name idk) was their deity of protection, he was there to keep the peace, to prevent the three countries from going after the relics themselves, tho he was always a cocky bastard he wasnt as destructive and hateful as he is now, back then he was still the servant of their gods after all. for a long long time he was successful at keeping everything as it was supposed to be, but of course, it cant go well forever, i dont have all the details yet but basically, those three nations started war after war, he was able to keep it from escalating for quite some time  but at some point, the people found out that if they destroyed his statues (just like hylias in canon) to prevent anyone from praying to him, he wouldnt know, at least, not immediately (my idea was that the statues are a sort of communication link to whatever their god was, so in ancient hyrule, if you prayed to one of hylias statues, and asked for her protection/help, she would know instantly and show up within seconds) 

alot of battles were fought without demise hearing anything about it, until someone found a statue that wasnt fully destroyed. when demise showed up however, the person had already died as they were wounded when fleeing from the battlefield. wondering how this all came to be he went to look for where that person came from, since if there was actual big trouble he should have known about it much sooner.  

he must have missed the biggest battle his world had ever seen, given the sheer size of it .. and the amount of corpses scattered all over it.

this only happened because of the greed of the people in power for the rest of the relics, which promised power, more power than they already had, plus who wouldnt want to know what happen if the relics were combined again, given how they've been seperated since the beginning. 

Fueled by anger and grief over how many people had lost their lives without him even KNOWING that a war of this size was happening, demise tried to ask the gods as to what he was supposed to do, how could he stop these needlessly cruel wars over something so small ? but the gods were silent. 

so he had to decide on his own, what was the best thing to do ? after careful consideration he couldnt think of anything else but to destroy the relics, after all, he could touch or use them himself as means to prevent him, as an already powerful deity, from falling for that greed for power, just like the inhabitants of his world did now.

the first one was the easiest, they didnt know his plan and let him wander their sacred halls with no second thought .. until he raised his sword once he stood in front of that cursed relic that led only to bloodshed and death. of course the news started to spread that their protector had apparently turned against them, some thought it was because they destroyed his statues, others because they thought he feared they would be more powerful than him once they gathered all the relics. on his way to destroy the second one he was met with resistance, but nothing he couldnt get through. the third one was a fight of an army against one deity. demise won, but not without killing some of the people he swore to protect .. and the only reason he was doing this, was for their own good.

after the deed was done, instead of everything getting better, it was getting worse. the people were more united than ever. against him that is. and the world fell apart. the oceans started to shrink, the winds would blow more harshly with each passing day, plants would wither away as if robbed of life before it began. demise was never overly beloved by anyone even back in the beginnings, but he could deal with them hating and resenting him, as long as they wouldnt go to war against each other, he was happy, more or less. what he couldnt handle was watching as his world started to die a slow and agozing death, right before his eyes, without him being able to do anything against it. and the gods stayed silent.

was it because he destroyed the relics ? were the gods mad at him for going against their orders and deemed it appropriate to punish him by having to watch the people suffer ?or was it that the gods that were bored of playing with this world and moved on to the next ?

he would never know the answer. 

the world died slowly over hundreds of years of painful suffering, desperately trying to to stay alive. even then the last remaining survivors knew him only as the destroyer of their world, responsible for their suffering. his former self wiped from memory, and only hate remained. 

after the last mortal died, the last tree withered and the oceans were gone. there was nothing left to guard, nothing left but the ruins of the past and the painful reminder of how this all came to be. the question of why it had to happen, was never answered, as the gods abandoned him and his world a long time ago.

in a fit of rage he sought to destroy the last temples, the once sacred places which inscriptions have long faded away and the place he once called his home, where he used to speak to his gods before they fell into this agonizing silence and as he drove his sword through the sculpted stones which once housed their voices, it split into two . ..

..and through the cracks blew a wind carrying the scent of a world that was still alive.

[semi-imaginary-place]

the weight of time, the other side, enemy 6. webtoons up to the other side 10

alright back to kubera, timey wimey shenanigans and maruna growing a conscious.

so kuberas one of those series where spoilers dont change the experience so i knew yaksha was going to show up but ah im so excited yaksha and og airavata??? thank you currygom. oh yeah and we got more on brilith's soul's past i guess.

huh so the ancient human cycle of reincarnation is breaking down. ptsd is being inherited across lives. humans were suppose to regain memories of their past lives when their minds and bodies were fully matured but violent deaths are leading to them regaining their memories before their minds are ready to deal with the trauma and as a result instead trraging each life seperately like we saw with the humans maruna interacted with, the humans ran meets there is no seperation between one life and the next its bluring together and thr grudges are growing as people life out the past. I love it!

...thats ananta. damn currygom is going HARD this arc, all the big names are here. also i just love ananta, yaksha, and og airavata having a breakfast club. ananta is half way to having the dead anime mom hair but joking aside the two foofy braids are super cute. currygom.... why you keep killing off all the nice ones... oh no yaksha has bad regeneration doesnt he... ok i just spent a week with a literal toddler and yeah gandharva

ok i cant tell how much of this heart talk is metaphorical and how much is literal ie yaksha physical heart is effecting ran emotionally. now that i think about it why is hanuman in their female form in the current timeline. wait maruna couldnt interact with another alive in the current time but ran can? i love yaksha why are all my favorite characters doomed. LET ME PROTECT THE CUTE OLD MAN. he's even white haired, has a tail, and is fluffy! fluffy! ran is watee attribute like yaksha too. wait i just remembered samphati told maruna that ideally a natiska parent would mentor a 5th stage rakshasa since 5th stage vigor and what not works more like a natuska and isnt that what yaksha is doing for ran. oh so this is what they meant by suras natures are to destroy. natiskas take of their attribues and astika create

ah so ran's half phobia isn't just trauma from the cataclysm but being afraid of himself. yeah where'd the wind transcendendal come from, ran is water water water

oh wow that experiment was more important than i thought. everyone is there

ooh naver commenter pointed out how sura sometimes scheme names their kids and raltara's parents name might be taraka the natiska name kali took to make yuta

this cute old man is bad for my heart. also ananta is precious. maruna continues to underestimate people but i will say him mistaking to most powerful being to have ever exisged in the universe for a 4th stage rakshasa ia pretty funny.

yaksha is basically a catboy. that explains a lot actually.

im enjoying the characterization of sagara. to sagara power is everything. ananta just wants everyone to be happy, he's uncomfortable with exterminating the ancient humans but he'll do it for sagara. this isnt true to himself or what he wants but he'll be what those around him want him to be. oh wow so the name/role of ananta was designed to take on a portion of every sin ever in the universe. also callback to brilith's conversations on whether its better to have gods that are too weak to do anything or have the power but choose not to help. oh shit and by brahma asking his consent in the destruction of the ancient humans (and ensuring it via sagara) she ensured the sins of killing them would fall on to him.

oh and somethings up with tilda but we dont know what yet. shes going to be important

where is marunas coat? mmmm head hurts... so gods forget things so that they arent weighted down by desires and reach the top/enlightenment. but once they reach the top the dont have to keep forgetting? about doomed willarav(??) all the deaths are turning point in which the characters didin't choose compassion. this is also the outcome that kali averted. ok im with maruna ran is giving me bad vibes. oooooo the maruna ran raltara gandharva situation! the tension! the drama! i was so caught up if the eye of punishment was going to be used by maruna or shess that a couple years ago i didnt even consider the possibility of a new character.

we also see the payoffs of the weight of time and the other side as well ran and maruna have come to see things from the other side (sura and humans). as others have pointed out maruna has spent several millennia among humans and discarded the sura cultural mentalities taught to him (obey superiors, no compassion etc which we see directly in his confrontation with samphati but everywhere after this time adventure) and taken a mentality closer to that of the first ancient humans. if humans using silent magic is said to lessen their humanity and make them more like sura ruthless calculating and cold, the maruna has become more human. the opposite is true of ran having spent many years living as a rakshasa and living far beyond a human lifespn. literally he has become more in tune with his sura side coming to terms with his grand parent being hanuman, yaksha's heart within him, and his power which killed his mother and he attacked the two next most important people to him lutz and rana. silent magic was said to need a desire for power, a lack of compassion for ones enemies, and a willingness to give up everything for one's goals. and mentally his mindset has been shifting from that of a humans to the one we usually see in sura. remember when he was introduced ran was the nicest character in the cast after leez.

so god kubera put the konchez party in a transcendental to stop their minds from merging with the maruna and ran of the current chapter. but thats what made them too late to stop taraka dying and 4th stage yuta. unless they wouldn't have made it aahhhhhhhh my head hurts i infinite possibilities gah! time travel! anyways but im still not sure what god kubera wants to begin with. wait no the mental transcendental preserved the minds of their former selves. the merge did happen that's how the clothes got "restored". oh yeah i forgot former kubera drew the sword of re before giving it to leez.

one of the currygom afterwords or something mentioned it but there's many more characters recently that do not neatly fit into the established boxes. perhaps its because at the beginning and and ending of the universe reality is looser. we have confirmation that yaksha clan bunny girl petupan that ran met has a chaos attribute but other sura we have met has chaos-ish aspects to them like other bunnygirl sona who maybe could be petupan's daughter? curiosly hanuman has a weird left arm when ran met him but doesnt in the modern day. then there's taraka that maintained their minds and forms like samphati and makara. then we have ran whos a human rakshasa (hanuman wondering if they forgot about a child with yaksha is still funny)

3-195 the other side 13 is the last we see maruna with his red fluffy coat in a flashback with raltara. it isnt seen until maruna goes to the abandoned timeline or n23

its probably intentional on currygoms part that yaksha's source attribute is water and that the inheritor of his heart ran was born with 3 water attributes. the interesting part is when ran starts using wind transcendentals and hanuman's source attribute is wind. so its almost as if he were a rakshasa with light as a clan attribute and water and wind as heteditary attributes. what im not sure of is in the fight with maruna ran seems to use some sort of lightning based attack and i cant quite remember so he either mixed partial surification with divine magic, has a sky attribute???? or there's sky transcendentals that dont require an attribute?

the abyss is the water channel of th sura realm?? omg and maruna cant remember the thing in the abyss that was chasing them because its existence has been replaced with yuta.

[skylights2000]

Operation: Loved (Kazuichi x Reader)

This is essentially gonna be a Kazuichi appreciation thread because he is a truly underrated character in my book. I’ll add updates to this every now and then. You can read it as seperate stories or as a whole. Anyway, here we go! Enjoy!

You loved messing with Kazuichi.

Not in a mean way, of course. More of a you-look-absolutely-fucking-adorable-when-you-blush kind of way.

Normally, you tried not to embarrass him too much, but lately Kazuichi had been really down on himself. He’d just gotten back from doing a job with his dad last week, and things seemed to just go downhill from there. He’d had several bruises and a busted lip.

On top of that, he had told you that you’d be better off without him. You tried to argue, but he left, and since then, he’s been avoiding you like the plague.

You were normally very patient, but the anger towards Kazuichi father, the sadness that Kazuichi was hurting, and the pain of having him avoid you had all built up until you’d finally had enough.

Now, you had one mission and one mission only:

Show Kazuichi how loved he was.

~

You’d always had this feeling that Kazuichi had been starved of affection, but you never knew the full extent of it until you started dating. Kazuichi seemed to deem himself unworthy of any form of love.

At first, it didn’t bother you too much. You would kindly correct him and remind him that everyone deserved to be loved, but when you two got together, his insecurities seemed to grow.

He would go out of his way not to touch you, always claiming he just didn’t see the point of it, but you knew better. He became more irritable, sometimes starting fights over how much better you would be without him.

You’d tried to help, tried to soothe him with kind words, always afraid of pushing too hard, but this was going nowhere. It was time for you to man up. You needed to face this head on, and if that meant drowning Kazuichi in your love, so be it.

~

This new line of action started on a Tuesday, the week after midterms.

You stepped into the garage on campus, taking a minute to examine the various projects in each room as you made your way to the one belonging to Kazuichi and Miu. You’d run out of screws, so you came to see if they’d let you borrow some.

When you stepped inside, Miu was nowhere to be seen, but after a bit of searching around, you saw a head of pink hair, half hidden under a black beanie, and you smiled as you walked over to Kazuichi.

You were just about to tap him on the shoulder when he yelped, jumping backwards when he shocked himself. You flinched, instinctively trying to catch him, but your plan quickly backfired when you stumbled backwards at the sudden weight, taking him with you as you fell.

Your back hit the ground with a thump, knocking the air from your lungs, and you were incredibly thankful that Kazuichi wasn’t very heavy, or he probably would’ve crushed you.

He was sprawled across you, his back pressed against your chest. Once he realized what had happened, he immediately rolled off of you, apologizing profusely.

You sat up, rubbing your shoulder to soothe the pain there. You supposed you should’ve expected it to hurt. The floor was concrete, after all.

When he saw that it was you, his cheeks took on a pink hue, and he ducked his head as he apologized once again. “I-I’m so sorry! I didn’t know you were there, and I didn’t mean t-“

You touched his shoulder, squeezing gently. “It’s okay, Kazuichi.” You told him with a reassuring smile.

He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. “Some Ultimate Mechanic, right?” He laughed self deprecatingly. “Can’t even fix a fuckin’ wire.”

You looked personally offended by the remark, as if he’d insulted you instead. “Don’t say that! You’re doing a great job, Kazu.”

If you thought he was blushing before, it was nothing compared to now. His face had turned the same color as his hair, and it was then that you remembered how embarrassed he got when you called him that.

You smiled slyly, your eyes gleaming mischievously. You got to your feet and held out your hands to him, pulling him up with relative ease.

Kazuichi was thin and fairly light, but you were also stronger from lifting stacks of wood, large wooden parts, and furniture. You had gained a lot of muscle since you became a woodworker, and it was that blood, sweat, and tears that earned you the title of the Ultimate Woodworker. It was that title that got you a part time job teaching classes on woodcarving and carpentry. You enjoyed it a lot, and being able to share your passion with others never failed to make your heart feel light.

“What were you tryin’ to do anyway?” You asked, glancing over his shoulder curiously.

He hesitantly shifted so you could see his workbench. “Nothin’ special, just tryin’ to fix Miu’s alarm clock.”

You stared at the broken and dismantled object in front of you in pure disbelief. “That’s an alarm clock?”

“Well, It was..before Miu threw it at a wall.”

Your eyebrows shot up in surprise. “I knew she wasn’t a morning person, but I didn’t think she was THAT bad.”

“Don’t go talkin’ about me behind my back!” Miu yelled as she barged into the room. She stopped beside them, folding her arms over her chest in an attempt to look angry.

You poked her in the side, earning a squeal from the younger girl. “Quit acting like you’re mad. Anger doesn’t suit you well.” You teased playfully, watching Miu turn red.

Sometimes you swore Miu had a thing for being made fun of because the girl instantly swooned.

“Sometimes I really think you might be a masochist.”

“Ah, Ibuki says the same thing!” Miu giggled dreamily. She always got like this when she talked about Ibuki.

Miu quickly shook her head and turned to Kazuichi. “So, can ya fix it?” She asked, motioning to the would be alarm clock.

“Yeah, it’ll take some time, but I can probably get it done by they end of the day.”

Miu grinned, whacking him on the back so hard that he almost stumbled. “Awesome! Thanks Pinky!”

Kazuichi sighed at the nickname but turned back to the clock, nonetheless. He began to tinker with the different pieces and wires while you watched curiously. You’d always found it strangely calming to watch Kazuichi work. Watching the way his fingers moved nimbly made you want to take his hand.

So you did.

You caught him so off guard that he nearly dropped the screwdriver he’d been reaching for. “Wh-What’re y-you-?”

You’d been about to let go when you noticed something.

You turned his hand, running your thumb over a small burn mark on the back of his hand. “Did you drop one of your cigarettes or something?”

When he didn’t respond, you looked up at him. He was looking away, a bitter frown on his face. He didn’t have to answer for you to realize that his dad had done it.

On instinct, you brought his hand up to your face, lowering your head enough to brush your lips over the scar.

You felt more than saw him stiffen, and you stayed there for a second longer before straightening up and letting go.

For some reason, as you looked at him, your mind drifted to Sonia. You still found it surprising that Kazuichi had ended up with you, considering you were practically Sonia’s exact opposite.

Sonia was polite, formal, and very elegant. She was the Ultimate Princess for a reason. She was gentle in personality with a graceful, refined appearance. She lived lavishly, though she never once bragged about it. The only thing about Sonia that didn’t scream ‘Princess’ was her avid love of the occult.

You looked up to Sonia quite a lot and had been very happy when you were able to become friends. However, now that you had grown to be such close friends, it only made the differences between you stand out even more to you.

You were gentle in nature, but that was where it stopped. When it came to your actions and way of living, the only word that came to your mind was clumsy.

You were clumsy in every aspect of the word. Sonia was graceful and focused, while you were scatterbrained and often daydreaming. You often tripped, overworked, or just accidentally hurt yourself. You sometimes caused problems that could’ve been avoided if you’d just paid a little more attention.

Sonia was soft spoken and gentle, while you were sometimes too loud, amazed by simple things, and sometimes a bit too enthusiastic.

You had a calm side, of course, but with the calm came one of two things: Peacefulness and warmth or somber thoughts and dark memories.

Sonia was beautiful: small, soft, and petite.

You actually two inches taller than Kazuichi. You were lanky with broad shoulders and a lean frame. You had scars that dotted your skin, though most were hidden beneath her clothes.

Some were from accidents while you were working. Most were from the abuse you had suffered in the foster care system.

You worked hard, often showing up for your dates with messy hair that was sprinkled with sawdust. Kazuichi always laughed as you dusted it out, and you would smile and laugh along with him, but sometimes, you really did wonder why he liked you.

You didn’t get why he liked your sweat-streaked face and calloused hands. Everything about you was the opposite of what he’d once told you that he liked in a girl. It often left you wondering what on earth he saw in you.

Despite your less than stellar thoughts, you smiled happily, your fingers lightly brushing his arm as you slid past him. “See ya later.”

You waved and headed for the door, only realizing once you were outside that you had completely forgotten to ask for some screws.

[maskedjoker]

We are getting really close to the scene in lost fragment of snow that was genuinely confusing in the book, and it's the scene were everyone in the circus is killed. I think what we will probably get is a scene were mana finally ends up giving into despair after he is hit and then allen is fed to a lion.

I think that with more current info, i can say for sure that sleeve earl and mana are a hybird. This will likely cause a resurgence of sleeve earl into taking over the body and becoming whole. This only lasts for a short time however and when cross confronts him after the rest of the circus has died from the audience turning into akuma(which i suppose are implied to be constantly just around the earl and is probably one of the many reasons cross warned Allen to stay away) some exchange of words or damage causes a lots of control. This damage however also hurts mana(or potentially just being forced out off control) causing him to loose even more memories as seen when mana and Allen reunite the next day.

Now i think we can agree that sleeve earl exists as a third entity, especially since her recent art exhibit interview, as she talked about the suit being a super sophisticated golem. I think in this case as with tim and lero yhat "golem" refers to AI. Id argue with the weird phrasing like helix of life and all the biotech style that magic is more often than not just more advanced technology, and wherever the noahs came from likely was, hence why they say they only seem strong because we have become so weak. This is only further shown with innocences resemblance to machines like its gear like parts and percentage resonance.

The noah memories in general i think are some kind of AI that passes through generation lines, carrying significant portions of its past forward and then fusing with a similar person in their lineage. For example early on road would have been just road, then through some means either became an AI(or was given a piece of someone that counts as one under golem, its unclear). Regardless once connected to the noah memory, it acts like a save file and becomes more sophisticated with time. It carries each life and gives all those memories, feelings and drives to a new body. So new road would remember being road, her life and everything, but also the life they had been living up until the two combined. Over time the noah memory keeps getting larger and larger to the point new experiences are so small, relatively speaking, that it overrides much more than normal. Since they are fuzed as one being they likely cant be separated without mutually assured destruction, were the current entity will die and any remains will not be the origionals, if anything remains at all. An example of this is that tyki could not be made human by Allen I their fight i the arc, despite having a blade that should destroy only part of him. Admittedly tyki is a special case though, and more tyki backstory is needed.

Changes from body to body become more subtle, but the base, which likely has a distinct core function as seen by its response to certain tasks and ideas, remains a strong aspect. This creates an almost reincarnation like effect for them, needing to only find a new body to continue.

The suit is like this, but different. I don't know how the original earl split, but i do think that some aspect of him was placed on the suit. I would like to say its the original version of the noah memories of the earl and nea got like a brand new copy, but i actually have no idea what memories he has of being past earl so its mostly a guess. Regardless the noah actually all seem to transform in some way when they get mega pissed. Im looking at you skinn, jasdevi, and tyki/joyd. So the suit is likely that kind of thing, but way more distinct and capable of acting autonomously. Since they all have different forms it makes sense that his would also be unique. They all probably represent some inner desire related to their memory. Skinn is just rage so big angry man works fine. Jasdero and devit are bonds so they want most to be one. Tyki got all fucked up before he changed so i got nothing, but it had a heavy does of sadism, which I guess is pleasure? Taking into account that killing in horrible graphic ways is his guilty pleasure it kinda makes sense.

So because of that, this sentient AI is constantly trying to pair with half a fucking brain because nea and mana only share one brain cell. Some kind of resistance from mana or strain causes him to constantly fall ill or comatose. Now to be clear on naming, sleeve earl does not refer to themselves as adam in the mirror scene nor does he refer to mana as adam, and only uses "we" when talking to mana about being the earl. Oddly enough the earls self pronouns are we, using wagashi which is kind of like the japanese equivalent of the royal we used in europe for the entirety of the series. For the record, mana in the flashbacks uses male or single they pronouns, i don't remember if he uses boku or watashi, but he uses at least one if not both.

So from this it seems millennium earl is a title, used by whatever is paired with the suit. Adam is the original name of the noah, and is the preferred name of the current earl aside from the title.

This circumstance was likely caused by the rest of the noah, who are using the earl for something related by the pillar. His separation either by accident or by intent was likely by the hands of his family trying to keep control for their ends. This is why the current earl is called a broken puppet and has so many things around him related to acting and stage plays. He is playing a role, the red clown to allens white clown as stated in the ark arc. He even wears a mask. His memories and mind have been damaged though, therefore broken. However broken puppet for both allen and the earl could also refer to a puppet that doesnt work as a double meaning, implying they can no longer be controlled or puppeted.

It is also implied that he is still unaware of this betrayal, but it is likely nea does to some degree as it would explain why he became a traitor and killed his own family. To be clear, i dont think all of the noah know everything, and i dont think they dont actually care for the earl. It seems they still genuinely follow him to their death and see him as one of their own, especially in cases like road, tyki and wisely.

Now early i said that different generations of noah would cope woth reincarnating differently. Since the earl only died once before 7000 years ago, id say resetting to a new body with only 17 years would be just smashed flat by any algorithm with that much data. However manas feelings are still the newest, and so still have an impact even on the current earl.

Now we come to resurrecting mana. How? Why? Well i dont know. But my guess is whatever part was the memories of mana for the 20 or so years he lived, or at least his memories at death, are in allen. His curse and weird hallucinations of mana seem to suggest it. Alternatively that part of his soul may have passed on, or it fuzed with the noah memory making the origional mana part of the hive and much like tyki and his noah memories cannot be seperated. Not good regardless.

As two additional things, i want to mention that hoshino is a twin and has always been obsessed with it, so having twins in her book was inevitable. What is extra weird is hoshino was actually going to be a triplet, but either her or her sister absorbed it before birth. She has mentioned it in dgm interviews and i cant PROVE it translates to anything in the plot but its suspicious. She also still list mana, nea and the earl as distinct in every book up to date in extra novels and at the start of her books. Oh and her favorite hat for the earl right now? The one featured on the most recent chapter? Has two faces on the front that are visible, and one in the back thats hidden, and the most recent art has the back face as the only one visible, angrily staring allen down. Great art foreshadowing if im right. Its also usually sleeve earl, if not exclusively, that wear it.

The second thing is mana talking about love and drive in the most recent chapter just brings up the earl having the noah memory of love or devotion or something for me. Ive written about it before but it just seems to fit. This character is all about that from the ability to fuze loved ones together to the hearts he talks with and his drives being based on grand acts of devotion, being by their side etc. Mana also loved and adopted both and dog and a homeless child and keeps talking about how the world is so beautiful despite all the bad. The earl literally acts like the whole noah clans mom by his own words and cooks for them, and both of them go out of their way to be cartoony to break tension. The earl literally goes and buys a single red rose from a poor girl while tyki pontificate on how he doesnt act like a villain. He doesnt take an umbrella because he wants to feel the rain. He talks about how what he does is in human nature and requires a connection between two people. He is even designed with his ideal colors as red and purple with white, as well as being designed after flowers. I know this probably doesnt make sense, but its stuck in my head.

[camelely]

TFATWS Spoilers under the cut

Literally the following is my thoughts and opinions, and there are probably some unpopular opinions lol. It's kinda really long lol.

Starting with some positives.

I loved how the two leads had storylines that mirrored each other. Sam needed to become Captain America and gain a title and Bucky needed to move on from The Winter Solider and loose a title.

Sam. Just Sam I loved him before but now I love him more.

Sam becoming Cap.

I loved Isaiah and his story.

I loved Sam's family, how they welcomed Bucky and the struggles Sarah had.

I really liked how they spent time with both Sam and Bucky and didn't forget the show was supposed to be about both of them. Often times shows tend to lean into the more popular or fan favorite lead and this show didn't do that. When Sam took center it felt natural and when Bucky took center it felt natural.

The Wakandans were great. I love Ayo and her friendship with Bucky.

Zemo was fine and fun enough.

John Walker was incredibly done. Wyatt Russell did an amazing job and the scene with the blood on the shield will forever be in my memory. Hands down one of the most impactful MCU moments.

I like the genderbend on Karl/Karli and the direction they took her character. People that go from sympathetic ideas to unforgivable means, make good villains. I think her more boring elements come from the lack of development she got.

Now on to the negatives.

This show could have been like two hours shorter and still told the same story with the same impact. Also earlier episodes, (maybe later episodes too I might have just gotten used to it and stopped noticing lol), had some weird ADR moments. IDK what happened behind the scenes but it was noticeable.

I would have loved it if one of the episodes was a flashback episode. The Sharon twist was obvious from the first episode she appeared in but like they thought it was good enough to save confirmation for the mid/end of the finale? Both her and Karli would have been benefited from a flashback episode.

Karli should have fought Bucky while Sam was focused on Walker. Sam could have had a moment where he tells him he will never be forgiven and Walker would responded with something similar to "I do what is right. I don't need forgiveness." Then when he becomes USAgent it lands more like the next progression in an arc rather than the redemption arc this could be interpreted as. I personally think this is a stepping stone and not a redemption but the MCU (and Disney) doesnt have a great track record when it comes to handling anything with nuance and the fans have an even worse track record when handling things that arent black and white. I guess my point is they could have handled the John Walker set up better.

Speaking of set up, this entire show was set up. This is my main and only real problem with this show. Nothing felt like it was resolved at the end. Karli even says she was part of a bigger movement. Killing her didn't change the fact a lot of people felt the un blip ruined their lives. People always shit on Tony for wanting to bring people back five years later instead of going back in time but like it had been five years, while some like Steve and Natasha hadn't moved on, others had. Some had better lives. Assuming everyone wanted to back to the way things used to be would also be a mistake. This has consequences too, as we see in these shows. But ruining the lives of the people who had bettered themselves would have been shitty too. And yea some people who had been bettered were worsened once again when the un blip happened but my point is going back and erasing the five years would have been shitty too. There is not really a right answer here as the right answer would have been to either stop the snap before it happened or to come to terms with the fact that the snap can never be undone. Leaving everyone as dead might have hurt, but it was the best thing for a community that had five years of mourning and moving on and counseling ETC. Ooof that was a tangent lol and I could probably write an essay so going back to my original point about set up. The flag smashers, or at least people who think the way they did still exist, Sharon Carter is the powerbroker but Sam and Bucky dont know and now shes back as agent 13, John Walker went from war hero to committing war crimes and his journey as USAgent is just starting, Sam has taken the Cap mantle and is ready to begin acting as Cap, and Bucky is both coming to terms with and moving on from his past. Nothing is actually resolved in this mini series. I know it's supposed to make you excited for the next movie/show/season whatever but have six episodes of little to no payoff IMO made for a flat show.

Building off the set up problem. This show had too much going on. Sam and Bucky each had their own personal journey (The A and B plot depending on the episode), Sam and Bucky being friends and their shared journey (C), John Walker and the Flag Smashers (the D and E plot depending on the episode), Zemo and the Wakandans (F), The PowerBroker/Sharon (G), The boat and Sarah which could be considered part of Sam's plot but since if you cut it out the only thing that actually effected Sam's journey would be the bank in the first episode and yet it still went on till basically the end I'm calling it it's own plot (H), Valentina Allegra de Fontaine, which might be part of John Walker's story but since it's all set up for her to take a bigger role in the future and his set up could be completed without her I'm counts her separately (I), then you have the big meeting at the end, the senators and policy makers making choices the vote that they keep mentioning and once again more set up... (J). 10 ideas by my count, all needed their own set up, follow through, and payoff. And yes some stuff like Valentina the pay off will come later but still... It's all too many plots! And thats not mentioning side characters that were new to the show that they wanted to spend time with but couldn't.

Even though I think the shows aren't comparable/two different genres WandaVision had two more episodes (and yes some were shorter but I already mentioned I think FATWS could have benefited from that), completed all the main plots and had Wanda's journey (A), Vision's journey (B), Agatha, Pietro/Ralph, and the citizens of the hex (C), Outside the hex Monica (D), Outside the hex everyone else and sure you can separate Darcy, Jimmy and Heyward but none of them were setting up future stories or had their own distinctive plot outside the hex thing like Monica so she is the only one I am separating (E), the kids who could be counted as an extension of the Wanda and Vision plots since they didnt really have their own arc or story (F). 6 total. And some of those could be combined. Like I think we should separate Wanda Vision and the kids but technically they are just an extension of Wanda. And same with Monica, her story was mostly intertwined with Darcy, Jimmy and the outside the hex stuff. I separated her since I think she had enough moments to herself and she set up secret invasion or whatever, but like Valentina being a part of John's story it is arguable. Of these plots only the missing witness Jimmy thing, Wanda's post credits moment a moment seperate from everything else, Monica's mid credits i think? moment another one separate from everything else, and white vision were unresolved. They gave Agatha an opening ending but it was still an ending. And yes Darcy Heyward etc will probably come back but the plot they had here was finished. So arguably they had 2/6 unfinished plots. And if you don't count Jimmy's witness as a plot and just count it as an unanswered question then 1/6. And technically white vision is just half a vision and the other vision got a complete plot so really it's 0.5/6 At best they completed 92(ish)% of the plots and left 8 (ish) % for future stuff.

In contrast FATWS only finished Sam's journey into becoming Cap, Zemo and the Wakandans, and arguably Sam and Bucky's friendship. You might be able to argue that Bucky had a full circle moment with the guy whose son he killed, but that is one guy and Bucky has been carrying around a list of people like that guy. It's not the end of a story it is the start of a journey. And maybe it is possible to say the boat thing had an ending kinda. 2/10 completed. maybe 3/10 if you wanna push it 5/10. IMO at best they completed 50% of plot set up.

Clearly FATWS is meant to be this way and thats why it bothered me. They want you to watch Cap 4 or whatever they decide to call the theatrical movie that will come after this. I guess I was just expecting it to stand on it's own, and other than Sam's journey into becoming Captain America, which was amazing and deserved in every way, nothing this show did felt like it could have stood on its own. I know it's arguable that was the main story and only story that deserved to end. But I've already pointed out all the other running plots this show had, and I think at least two or three of them should have had follow through in the show.

Someone who plans to never seen an MCU movie after these shows could have watched WandaVision and enjoyed it. That is not the case for FATWS. If you don't plan on watching any MCU stuff in the future you won't know how over half the plots of this show will end. THis isn't even how the movies work. They each tell their own story while also setting up other things, so it is clear they know how to do this.

I can see why Disney decided to submit it as a series and not a mini series. Not only do they not want to compete with themselves (nominating WV as a miniseries) but also this isn't a miniseries.

I guess to conclude I'll say I did really enjoy watching this show. It was fun and there were some great moments. It featured amazing character and amazing actors, but I wish it had bothered to finish more of what it started.

Thank you so much for reading till the end of a post that has surely become unintelligible gloop by now. If you disagree I'd love to hear why!

[3w-writer-with-wings]

Next Yu-Gi-Oh! Crossover – Bonds Beyond Worlds

With so many ideas about what Yu-Gi-Oh! 7 will be about, I wanted ZEXAL/ARC V/VRAINS crossover continuation the most. I’ve already discussed this before Yu-Gi-Oh! Sevens was announced (here it is if you’re interested https://3w-writer-with-wings.tumblr.com/post/189629945740/next-yu-gi-oh-anime-new-series-or-a-crossover ) and despite new series, I’m still hopeful we will be getting a movie at least. Well, even if we aren’t getting it, I’ll write it down anyway. Only once Yuma, Astral, Yu-boys, Bracelet Girls, Yusaku and Ai get a happy conclusive ending will my soul be able to rest.

Still please don’t hate on SEVENS! It’s a nice and funny show and Yuga is a precious little inventor who doesn’t deserve all the hate.

Main cast

So the main cast will be definitely made of the main protagonists aka. Yuma, Yuya and Yusaku and their partner characters aka. Astral, other Yu-boys and Ai. I also want to include Bracelet Girls since they are very closely connected to Yu-boys, though not directly, more like they have a separate, but just as important mission, maybe they even team up with Rio (since she has psychic-like abilities) and Aoi (who learns about world connection from her brother and wishes to help). If it will possible I’ll also include rivals – though more like supporting characters, the same way Signers and professor Banner were used in the movie. For everyone else it would be more or less just minor roles, but still important enough to contribute to the story (Kaito and Arclight brothers guide Yuma through different worlds, Reiji and Yusho investigate strange occurrences in Arc V and Akira, Kusanagi and Ryouken try to find out where Yusaku went and how to help him). Overall, I wouldn’t include too many characters since I really want to give them meaningful roles. 

How it will connect the series?

VRAINS ends with a surprising findings uncovered by Akira – VRAINS got connected to many different worlds and Yusaku is on his way to unknown part of VRAINS in order to find Ai. While first crossover was connected by time (hence the title Bonds Beyond Time), this crossover will be connected by space. First crossover already made a big deal out of time (Atem was an ancient spirit from past and had to travel back in time to regain memories in order to rest in peace, Judai was a reincarnation of a Supreme King and Yusei fought against time-travelling cyborg from the future) and was therefore connected by time, with Yusei using Crimson Dragon to travel to past in order to stop Paradox from destroying it. This time, the new trio of protagonists will have to travel through space in order to meet. Since VRAINS ended so abruptly, with Yusaku travelling towards unknown part of network, this would be the most perfect point to start this new journey. If that part of VRAINS network somehow got connected to another world or more like a dimension, this is how Yusaku finds himself in ARC V dimension after the events of the fifth series – sometime after the four dimensions merged into one again. Yuya and Yuzu get used to their counterparts living in their bodies and Yuya is yet to defeat Yusho at that point.

Goals

In a way all three series share the same theme of protecting the world and changing it in order to save the ones they love, but with each series, less can be done to save it. Yuma used Numeron Code to save the friends he lost, prevented the destruction of Barian world and turned Barian Emperors back in humans. Yuya managed to seal Zarc’s soul in Reira and get Yuzu back and joined all dimensions into one, but he couldn’t save other Yu-boys and Bracelet Girls. Yusaku was unable to save Ai as Ai was never meant to co-exist with humanity. Therefore I believe this chain of events is in a way connected with Numeron Code – with such drastic change in Astral World and Barian World, the change must’ve affected Original Dimension in ARC V and Dr. Kogami must’ve had a reason to create Ignis (in the most far-fetched logic I believe the change awakened Zarc’s rage and convinced Dr. Kogami that the world is ending and humanity needs an immortal successor). Yuma could also feel guilty and selfish to activate Numeron Code, thinking he might’ve been wrong after all and that caused all the suffering Yuya, Yuzu, their counterparts and Yusaku have been through.

But at the same time this doesn’t mean they should just give up Numeron Code to fix everything and rather look for a different way, considering how much damage it has already caused. Maybe the antagonist wishes to have Numeron Code and their first goal is to destroy it or seal it for good and at the same time deal with the fact that it could bring Ai, Yu-Boys and Bracelet Girls back. Yusaku and Yuya don’t blame Yuma one bit and they both ensure him that their friends are still there, they just need to find another way to bring them back home. At one point they will be back either before the climax or during the climax (Yu-boys are pretty much already in Yuya, but it could be that they gain their bodies at the crucial moment when they are protecting Yuya). It would be interesting if Ai actually knew Yusaku was looking for him but was too scared to face him, thinking he’ll lose him (maybe Astral helps him get over it and during the moment where Yusaku is in danger, Ai comes back in a similar fashion as he did during his duel with Ryouken).

Antagonist(s)

It doesn’t necessary need an antagonist, considering the goals the main trio has is already challenging enough, though it would be interesting to have another antagonist. Rather than having a one that thinks they are doing the right thing but are ultimately making everything worse or a character that is outright evil. I prefer to use a very calculating antagonist who has a good reason behind his actions and truly presents a challenge for the new trio. Antagonist like Z-ONE from 5Ds would nicely fit in this story, but like I said, it doesn’t really need an antagonist. It will be also interesting to include a secondary antagonist or antagonists’ right hand against the girl squad. Since I plan to include Numeron Code (I mean it is a literal Infinity Gauntlet, why the hell not?) the main antagonist’s motivation could be something with rewriting reality and space all over again since Yuma and Astral greatly changed it since the end of ZEXAL. The Bracelet girls also have a connection to Ray and En cards that are also a rather powerful element so there would be no need to include more powerful elements, prophecies or ancient grudges against the protagonist trio. 

This might be a bit far-fetched idea too, but I think it would really interesting to use Yusho as antagonist. Not in a willing way of course, just that someone possesses him and through him challenges the new trio to a duel that decides all. A certain fanfic writer has (Frost190 in “Bonds of Pendulum”) already written down the most amazing duel between Yuya and Yusho that fit into the canon story so well that it made me think just what missed opportunity that duel was. Even though ARC V both starts and ends with Yuya’s vow to defeat his father one day, he never really duels him (though considering Yuri was able to defeat him and Yuya defeated Yuri, he could potentially defeat Yusho as well). Then there’s the fact that Yusho and Yuya haven’t really talked things through face to face yet. While it is clear that Yusho had to leave in order to stop Leo, he left right on the day he was supposed to have this big match. He knew Leo was up to no good, but really, really why he decided to leave on that day? He could’ve at least post-phone that match or be done with it in like an hour or so and then leave. This one thing has bothered me for as long as I can remember and that fact that they never point it out is that more frustrating besides the fact that Leo was magically excused of all horrible things he did. Yusho as antagonist (controlled of course, but using Yuya’s and Yusho’s memories to try to manipulate others) would work very well for Yuma and Yusaku too since Yuma also had to deal with the loss of his father and to Yusaku, Yusho could look like Dr. Kogami – a man who traumatized him for life. 

Climax

Like in Bonds Beyond Time, a big duel with protagonists against antagonist is expected to be the main battle of the movie, I would like to spice it up a bit or use entirely different climax scene. I mentioned before that I would love to see Bracelet Girls in action, so what if they get a seperate mission or another antagonist to fight and this is how they find a way to get their own bodies. With this info they have to reach Yu-boys and let them know how to separate them, though again there could be some trouble or something is happening due to disturbance in dimensions and they have to protect people in them. It would be really interesting if they were the trump card or if they would show up at that one moment when they would needed it the most. Another reason of why I want to include them so much is also because only the powers of Yuzu’s bracelet have been partially explained and considering Ray literally split a whole dimension and a demon in four, they must’ve been nearly as powerful as Numeron Code.

I would also love to expose the new trio of protagonists to their worst fears, showing their pieces of vulnerability there. Yuma could relive his duel with III and all the times he lost Astral and his friends. Yuya could go through the time his father was missing and when he hurt innocent people in berserk form. (In a way I would also love to see Zarc and Ray have a role, at least to guide him and encourage him to not to give up.) Yusaku might expect the trauma from Lost Incident, but it turns out to be the fear of truly losing Ai. Another important challenge would be probably temptation to use Numeron Code for their own interests like maybe it could rewrite Yusaku’s life with Lost Incident never happening, but erase all of Yuma’s friends who got revived. Maybe it could bring counterparts back but cause major disturbance in Den City. Overall I wouldn’t go there too much since I know well that Yuma, Yuya and Yusaku are one of the most selfless people and if anything, they would be fine with giving up on their desire for greater good.

Another important climax (in case I go with it), is Numeron Code. With such insane power of literal creation and destruction it could be again connected to ARC V, with the whole theme of Heavenly Dragons and En Powers. Similar themes also appeared in VRAINS, especially regarding the creation and destruction of life. It could also be that protagonists will be struggling with how to use it correctly or if they should use it in the first place. Another solution is also permanent destruction, but again, protagonists aren’t sure how will this affect dimensions and timelines. 

In all ways, climax will be epic and will join all the build up, struggles, fears and action in one scene.

Interactions of those who never met

This crossover will be able to provide a lot of scenes and interactions between characters of those three series. Yuya, Yuma and Yusaku have surprisingly a lot in common, especially their experiences when dealing with loss and fears. For some reason I’m actually seeing Yusaku opening up to them since they could strangely remind him of Ai and that was pretty much the only person besides Kusanagi that Yusaku trusted enough to share his fears. It would be also refreshing for Yusaku to see duelling as fun (I really hoped that would be the case when he duelled Go for the first time) and befriending more people like Ai told him to. Astral and Ai could also share a scene where they are talking about their human partners and the time once their partners will be gone since they are both sort of immortal beings. I strongly believe one of the reasons why Ai sacrificed himself for Yusaku was not only because he saw a future where Yusaku dies protecting him but because he knew Yusaku won’t live forever like him and he couldn’t handle being all alone without Yusaku or other Ignis. Astral who has been alone for thousands of years before meeting Yuma could teach him how to cherish the time with his partner that he still has. 

Conclusion

Like I mentioned it in the beginning – this would more or less be fix-it story. While I’m okay with ZEXAL ending (better than the one in manga at least), ARC V and VRAINS are in dire need for a better ending so overall, the ending conclusion will give the three series a much more conclusive ending. While I love to write a good angst and bitter sweetness for the end, I do no plan to end it this way (especially after binge watching two anime series in a row that had bitter-sweet but hella sad endings). This will have to be a feel-good ending with cheese on top or at least hopeful feel. I’m aiming for similar conclusion as Bonds Beyond Time, with three protagonists parting ways in hopes that they did the right thing and that they can return back to the worlds that they no longer need to fear they will break. 

The endgame will be obviously with Yu-boys coming back, Ai reuniting with Yusaku and Numeron Code being sealed away or if possible destroyed. If I’m going with “Yuma screwed up ARC V and VRAINS with Numeron Code” way, then I’ll really need to find a good reason to get rid of it or at least find a logical way how. Also he will be dealing with massive guilt and responsibility so maybe… Yuma might go Iron Man with it and others will need to stop him (that might lead to a secondary final duel or more like rescue duel, kinda mirroring final duel between Yusaku and Ai).

So yeah there will be a lot of conclusions to go through, especially if I include original antagonists, though I’m not that sure about it yet.

If anyone has any other ideas, suggestions, theories or anything else related to this topic, feel free to leave it below or PM me. I would love to hear your thoughts on this idea and it will really help me gather more ideas and material for this project that I would really love to write, not just for myself but for all other members of Yu-Gi-Oh! fandom as well.

[amydancepants-peralta]

5 + 23. i may be in an angsty mood :)

5: They can’t hurt you anymore & 23: Please don’t go

(also on AO3, if ya fancy)

the day you went away 

The burning wick of one of Amy’s favourite candles crackles softly from its position perched along the end of her bathtub, the familiar scent of fig and papaya mixing with the peppery hints of her red wine as she slowly tips the glass towards her mouth.  

She watches as the shadows from the flame dance across the bathroom tiles, the corners of the room leading to nonsensical shapes that remind her of a time long since past; of nights where she and her brothers would steal their father’s torch for shadow puppet theatre, giggling from the bottom of their bellies as the night stretched on and the acts increased in absurdity.  A sense of nostalgia looms over her now - an unfamiliar urge for days to return to such sweet moments of simplicity - and Amy closes her eyes as she takes another sip, choosing instead to focus on the gentle burn of the tannins as she swallows.

If she tries hard enough, she can feel Jake’s hand on her knee, tracing meaningless patterns with the tips of his fingers the way he always does.

The way he always used to do.

He’d left this evening, in a flurry of tears and protests; gripping her hand in his so.tightly. that both had turned pale, refusing to let go until the very last second.  It was hard to pick which part hurt the most - that he’d gone to start a life somewhere she’ll never know, or that he’s gone to start it without her - but in all reality both paled in comparison to the very stark possibility that Jake may simply never come back.  

They can’t hurt you anymore.

It was a prominent memory playing on a loop in her mind, after everyone had been whisked out of Shaw’s and ushered into a nearby safe house, fielding phone calls and arguing options until it became horrifyingly clear what Jake and Holt needed to do.  She didn’t mention it - didn’t dare bring her thoughts to life by speaking them out loud - but the recollections of her experience with the witsec program years ago simply refused to go away.  

It had been the first (and last) case she’d handled as a detective at the six-four before her transfer: a mob-related string of felonies that, after one informant’s incredible testimony, had landed three of the more prominent members of a crime family in jail.  Repeated death threats had led the informant and his family into witsec; and for the first six months of her time at the nine-nine, whenever she checked in on their case, everything seemed to have turned out for the better.  

And then, the inexplicably early release of one of the prisoners, and an act of retribution that had happened before anybody could even send out a warning.  A post-it on Amy’s desk with the number of their handler scrawled across the top, and a family that will never be the same.

None of the squad really knew why she’d left early that day (even after six months, Amy was still trying to find her feet amongst the team), but the last few words she said to the victims before they’d left had come racing back to her like a punch to the stomach, and tonight they had made their silent return.

They can’t hurt you anymore.  

It was naive - the kind of rookie statement that one makes when their heart is so full of hope that anything else seems impossible, and in the end it was so very wrong.  She knows better to do so now (a lesson learned once is a lesson hard to forget), but tonight the love of her life is hiding someplace she’ll never know; and in a world full of sudden uncertainties Amy swears - with these bath tiles as her witness - that she will not stop fighting to take down Figgis until Jake is finally home.  

She shifts, the water lapping gently against her skin, and the last few drops of the wine trickle slowly down her throat.  The porcelain feels cold against her back - this bathtub, once perfectly suited for one, now too big without Jake to lean against - the room too quiet, her skin too untouched by the only one who knew how to draw out the sadness and replace it with laughter.  

Please don’t go.

Amy never thought she’d be the kind of woman to beg a man to stay - independence has always been key in every relationship, and this one was no different - but she supposes that what’s happens when a passing crush turns into love, or as far as she and Jake were concerned, something even greater.  Something so deep and undeniable that it changes the very portrait of what one would have imagined their life to be, and she was watching it all fall apart in front of her eyes.  Suddenly it was all she could say, the only words that her heart would let her mouth form when Jake had pulled her into a seperate room, desperate for some privacy before the witsec team could come to rip them apart.  

 Please.  Don’t go.  

She had found herself unable to control the shake in her voice, felt the sting of her mascara as it mixed with her tears, tasted the salt on her lips as the streaks ran down her face.  Her racing mind cursed the existence of Figgis, of Bob Annderson and Ryan Whelan and all the reasons why they couldn’t just run away from it all, every. single. reason. why Amy had to stay and Jake had to go.  

(Holt had called them rationalisations - had made the very same argument to a disbelieving Kevin - but as far as Amy was concerned, the world had stopped feeling rational the moment Jake had hung up the phone, turning towards her with a face as pale as a ghost.) 

Jake had kissed her one last time before leaving; the kind of kiss that makes shivers run down your spine and curls your toes inward … the kind of kiss you give somebody when you simply cannot imagine not being able to kiss them ever again.  He’d told her he loved her, that he was terrified to do this without her; that she was his home, and he would be back.  And without hesitation, Amy believed him, even when the heartbreak was so clear in his eyes.  

But then the door to the safe house clicked shut behind their departing figures, and the hollow feeling was too strong to deny.  

And now she sits in this too-empty apartment, staring at Jake’s spare toothbrush as it rests next to hers in the glass by the basin; watching the bubbles as they disintegrate against her skin and trying to pinch her thigh hard enough to wake up from this nightmare before it can even begin.  

Through the wall she hears the heavy stomps of her neighbours boots as they pass through the hallway, their chatter loud and animated (and a little TOO loud, given the time), a projection of joy that feels far too out of place in her world right now, because how could anybody possibly be happy right now, when the man she loves So Much has had to walk away?

Tears begin to fall down her face again, ones that Amy doesn’t bother to conceal, letting them fall into the cooling bathwater around her.  She knows she should sleep - it is far too late for her morning alarm to feel anything other than brutal - but the thought of waking up in her bed alone, just after getting back to normality post-Texas, was too painful to consider.  

In the morning, the sky will seem too blue; the city unfairly vibrant, the sun traitorously bright - and Amy will swear that she sees Jake’s face in every crowd.  The bullpen will whisper, the sudden unexplained disappearance of two members of the force hard to ignore and after she meets their new captain Amy will open up a brand new binder, give it a nondescript title page, and begin her hunt for Figgis.  

As the weeks roll on she will try not to focus on the fact that there should be boxes with his name on it scattered through her (their) living room, shoe racks half constructed for the entryway and a thoroughly itemised schedule typed and laminated, ready for Moving Day.  Instead she will plan for their future, update and amend her life calendar to allow for the infinite unknown, and dream of days to come where ruffled hair and corny jokes will fill her mornings once again.  

But for tonight, the world is on pause - for surely it has changed too much for it to continue as it were.  Tonight, Amy is a grieving girlfriend needing to mourn for all that could have been, a role she’s never imagined playing but has already settled under her skin without introduction, the heaviness of her heart weighing her down as she lets out a shuddering sigh.   

His hoodie will be tucked underneath her pillow as she sleeps, the need for rest now a priority because tomorrow her fight for their future begins.  For if there’s one thing that Amy knows for certain, it is that what they have is worth striving for - and one way or another, the two of them will be together again.  

(In the end it will take a bullet, a hotdog, and an uncharacteristic defiance of superiority before her world shifts back on its proper axis; but it brings Jake and Holt home, and how could that not be worth everything?) 

[an-intronerd]

thoughts on jaskier (+ geraskier) post episode 6: rare species

this was honestly supposed to be a teeny little rant but like, my hands grew minds of their own.

...

ok, so like, i recently binged the witcher (and i’m one of those people who has not yet read the books and never played the games, so going in, i had no idea who these characters were or what their dynamics in the other medias were like or anything) and next thing you know, i’m drowining in the geraskier fandom. 

as one does, i’ve seen a lot of geraskier content, including fics and the like, and one idea that’s always there is that jaskier is this heartbroken, sullen, pining thing after the Big Fight. like, 98% of what i’ve seen or read has sad!jaskier. and like, the general plot is always like 

jaskier is sad that geralt yelled mean things at him. 

jaskier sings heartbroken love songs. 

jaskier runs into geralt/geralt finds jaskier/somehow these two meet again. 

geralt is a dick/geralt feels bad but is emotionally constipated so he doesn’t know how to use words to apologize/geralt saves jaskier’s life. 

geralt and jaskier make up because jaskier knows how to read his witcher’s emotions and forgives him. optional: they bang.

the end.

and its like, people aren’t perfect?? i think that’s a little unrealistic. and yes, fanfiction can be like that sometimes, because it’s what we want to happen. but like, imagine this:

jaskier going through the 5 stages.

jaskier goes down the mountain, leaving geralt behind. what else can he possibly do?

jaskier spends a few nights wasted and crying because hey, guess what, the love of his life for the better part of two decades is a gaint wart-covered dick. he’s sad about it, sue him.

jaskier decides fuck this, his witcher is a piece of shit and though he is by no means the best person on the planet, he is at least good enough to deserve better than what geralt gave him. or well, was incapable of giving him.

jaskier decides he will move on, and it’ll start with him getting out of this mountainside village and heading to one of the first places where he truly found himself, oxenfurt. afterall, music has been and will always be the one constant and greatest pleasure in his life.

it takes time, but jaskier perseveres. he gets over his denial pretty quickly. he will not believe geralt didn’t care for him at all. he knows that’s an insult to both of them. geralt cared in his own way. thats the truth. unfortunately, the other, much harsher truth is that it wasn’t enough. so, no geralt won’t be coming for him, and jaskier won't be waiting around.

anger is a bit harder to get over. once it truly sets in, it’s all jaskier can do not to hunt down that fucking white wolf and tear him a new one. jaskier is a person, he is a human with feelings, and that damned witcher had no right to treat him like the scum at the bottom of his shoe. if it wasn’t for jasker, geralt would still be run out of every other town he came across, stoned and bloody. he’d probably have died in a puddle of his own blood fifty times over by now, considering all the times jaskier had to patch him up. that ungrateful prick. except, once he’s exhausted three supllies of parchment and written enough songs about the bitcher, (yes not his most creative insult but he’s too petty to care!) he knows none of that is remotely true. and he wants closure.

and that’s when bargaining hits him full force. all of a sudden, he just needs to see geralt one more time. once more great adventure and a song to go with it, one more meal shared, one more conversation, to see if geralt really ever cared. he needs to ask him, and have geralt verbally confirm or deny his doubts. he needs this, just once. one more time, he needs to see his witcher, and it’ll be enough. one more time. just once. he almost fails himself, on one lonely night. he knows he can’t, he doesn’t even know where he’d start looking but he’s drunk beyond the point where common sense dictates his actions, and he’s packed half his belongings... and he’s getting ready... to track down the white... wolf... he wakes up with a bitch of a hangover the next day, but he didn’t go after geralt. he knows deep down once will never be enough. 

anger was tough, but depression was worse. it came for him like a siren in all her glory, drawing him in and in and in until he’s drowing and he didn’t even realise when that happened and then it’s too much, it’s too painful... he isn’t really surprised. he thrives on emotion, the good and the bad, it’s how he writes such brilliant ballads, he admits he hadn’t really delved into his own feelings about geralt yet. he hadn’t dealt with all the heartbreak follwing the mountain, and maybe he should have done so earlier, but he doesn’t think it matters. his heart wasn’t going to hurt any less months earlier when the wounds were still fresh. and though they may have closed up over time, the phantom pain is always with him. there are days where all he can do is curl up under his blankets and sob. some days he goes without eating a single morsel, finds himself lightheaded from dehydration, not leaving his bed for anything more than to relieve himself. some days, he flips through old songbooks, filled with twenty-odd years of adventure, both the fun and the dangerous kind, and laughter and frustration, companionship and solidarity... what was it he used to say? death and destiny, heroics and heartbreak. words of a lifetime past. some days, he compartmentalizes and sets all that aside in a little box in his mind and goes about his day as if he isn’t weighed down by the constant weight of his loss. it’s almost too much, but he’ll manage, he tells himself. he doesn’t let himself think of what he would do if he can’t.

it’s a cloudless day outside, and he’s in the market for new writing materials, and he’s going over next week’s lesson plan in his head, when he’s hit with the sudden realization that he hasn’t thought about geralt in a while. he’s thinking of him now, sure, but that doesn’t count because he’s thinking of how he’s not thinking of him, it’s a totally different thing, and oh- it doesn’t ache as much as it used to. he feels lighter than he has in a while, and he doesn’t know how that happened, or when, but he’s... okay. 

that’s the thing about healing, it happens whether you realise it or not, you just have to give ypurself a chance. it’s pontless to hold on to the negative feelings because you’re trying to hold on to something or someone that isn’t there anymore or maybe never really was. he didn’t know when it happened, but. the bitterness that accompanied the memories of geralt’s last words is no longer there. neither is the anger. there’s a dull sadness, but mostly it’s resignation and a sort of comfortable if lonely acceptance that geralt is gone. but there’s also a bittersweet understanding that jaskier will always love him. the history they shared isn’t erased because of a few angry words. jaskier will have, if nothing else, a lifetime full of moments and memories. if he sees geralt again, it will no longer be with a vision clouded in pain or anger or sadness, but rather a deep-seated love and forgiveness. he will let geralt decide now what they will be to each other. but he will not accept anything less than what he is worth. he will not be geralt’s punching bag. if geralt wants to have a relationship with him again, it will be one of equals, the bard and the witcher. if he wants to go their seperate ways, well, jaskier will live content like that too. 

he’s moved on.

sometimes, moving on doesn’t mean finding someone else. sometimes, it means mending your own heart, piece by broken piece, and then tucking it away safely inside, giving it a chance to heal. it’s about making that very difficult choice to let go of the bad that you’re holding on to, because it’s a way of holding on to the person you lost. it’s about finding yourself again, and who you were before the pain and heartbreak, and, figuring out who you want to be now. i need more of that, because that’s real. that’s how i imigine jaskier would feel. he’s not perfect, and he has his ups and downs as all of us do, and he is angry at geralt and sad and broken but also he’ll pick himself up, because he was someone before geralt, too, and he’ll still be someone after geralt, not just the witcher’s bard. he doesn’t know who that is yet, but he’ll figure it out.

and because i’m at my core a geraskier + happy endings hoe:

geralt realises an important thing on that mountaintop. he has been running from destiny and anything real all his life. he needs to get his head out of his ass, and find ciri. clearly, he was destined to lose yen, and that’s happened, no matter how hard he tried to make it different. she’s destined to be his and he accepts that now, but everything else is up to him. 

he finds ciri, and then, he’s a father. he vows to be a better parent than the one he had. 

he finds yen, and they learn to be enough for each other without turning it into something more than a vague frienship. somewhere between a truce and a partnership. for ciri, they agree.

he returns to kaer morhen, to his family with his daughter and his yennefer in tow. 

he realises that he has everything he could ever want, and more than any witcher ever gets, but there’s still something missing. 

then he realises it’s his bard, the one person who wasn’t unwillingly tied to him because of some wish or destiny, someone who chose him every single time, and who he misses with such a fierce ache.

then he remebers how badly he fucked that up, and then yen tells him he’s a wart-covered, emotionally constipated dick, and dumb too, but hey thank god you finally got your head out of your ass long enough to realise that you miss your bard and you’re sorry for what you did and you love him, and geralt just goes what? yen, love? oh- okay so that’s what the constant turning of his stomach and insomnia is.

then he sets out to find his bard, and ciri asks if she’ll finally get to hear all those famous songs about geralt from the source, and he says he hopes so.

it doesn’t take him long to find his bard, now a professor at oxenfurt academy, and geralt thinks that makes perfect sense because where else would jaskier have gone but to one of the few bright bits of his youth?

he gets to oxenfurt and it’s a cloudless day, and there’s people millig about and he thinks he’ll head to an inn and give roach a well-deserved rest, and then his heart stops. because there is jaskier, exchanging coin for parchment, and he looks just as he did a year and a half ago, except less disappointed and more happy and his heart hasn’t beaten this fast since he was a child left on vesemir’s doorstep. he thinks of all the nights he’s been unable to sleep because he had gotten so used to the bard’s humming and how it had been the most soothing wordless lullaby. he thinks of his last words, and he feels his breath leave him, because jaskier had taken it to heart, and left him. he’d given geralt his one blessing, and geralt thinks that those words are something he will regret for as long as he is living. he gives himself a moment to wonder if perhaps he should leave jaskier to the life he’s created for himself, be unselfish for once and let jaskier remain happy and safe and free. 

he should leave, though he knows that jaskier deserves so much more from him, an apology to start, and then a real friendsip, one tat goes both ways, and wow, geralt really is a wart-covered dick because he had treated jaskier so unfairly and he doesn’t undertsand why jaskier kept coming back to him, again and again. destiny hadn’t entwined their paths. jaskier chose to entangle them anyways. and he deserves so much more than geralt of rivia, and he should let jaskier have that, he should...

but he couldn’t walk away now, not when jaskier, his bard, his life-long friend, is standing right there, and jaskier turns, collecting his items and geralt stops breathing because jaskier looks over, and geralt watched the recognition flit over the bard’s face as he sees roach and then up, up, up, his eyes trace geralt’s form until.

their eyes meet, and jaskier smiles.

tl;dr: i just want more realistic portrayls of jaskier’s emotions after the Big Fight in episode 6, and i want to see jaskier go through all the feelings, and more depth to him that just some pining, heartbroken lump of a person. he’s more nuanced than that, i think. 

p.s: a big part of this ended up being based on my own experineces with love and friendship, pain and hertbreak, and the process of moving forward despite it all. idk how much of that comes through, and i hadn’t really planned for this post to go in the direction that it did, but i like how it turned out. i’m still trying to figure out that tricky little thing about making the choice to let go, and writing this helped?

p.p.s: this ended up way, way, wayyyyy longer than i intended, oops? why do i do this lol

p.p.p.s: if fics like this actually exist, please feel free to tag me in them or send me links, i would adore you forever!

[vampire207343]

Faith Liac Mikaelson

         What if....  Youngest Potter died and reborn, in another wold leaving her beloved husband and two sons.

                                                        ****

             After the defeat of the Dark Lordthe oldest Daughter of tge Potters, Camilia Liliana Potter (The-Girl-Who-Lived) found out that her younger twin sister Hyacinth Lilac Potter (Fem!Harry Potter) has been dating Camalia’s sworn enemies, Draco Lucius Malfoy for almost 4 years, she never known about the relationship even though Draco and Hycinth Potter never hidden their relationship from anyone, Even Hyacinth’s GodFather Sirius Orion Black had known about the relationship when he was alived.

               Evenutally Camalia and Hyavinth drift away from one another. It wasn’t long before Draco and Hyacinth married when the Potter twins finally lost all contact with one another.

A year after the war ended and Draco & Hyacinth gotten married when they gaved the news to the family and friends that they will be welcoming two new members of the family in 7 months and by then Hyacinth already drop the Potter name and began going by Black being the Lady of the house of Black. And one day her first born son would take the title from her when he come of age.

                     On May 15, 2001

Hyacinth Black Malfoy gaved birth to two healthy twin boys the oldest son who has Black hair of his grandfather and Sliver Blue eyes like his father, is given the name James Sirius Black Malfoy the secound the future Lord of the house of Black, and the youngest son who is identical to Draco Malfoy himself is given the Scorpio Rigel Black Malfoy the future Lord ofbthe house of Malfoy.

                  18 years later....

The Malfoy twins recently turn 17 years old and recently graduate Hogwarts, James Surius Black Malfoy is currently the new Lord of the most Ancient and most Noble House of Black, and Scorpio Rigel Black Malfoy is also the current Lord of the most Ancient Noble House of Malfoy.

When Hyacinth Black Malfoy unexpectedly died of Dragon pox since they were unawared that she even has it since she never showed any sign of having Dragon Pox until her death when the Healer’s scan her body, Draco Malfoy  was devested by the Death of his beloved wife, but he has to stay strong for his two sons.

               4 years after, Hyacinth Black Malfoy’s death, Draco Malfoy re-married after get the blessing of his two sons, he courted the youngest Greengrast sister for 2 & 1/2  years, Astoria Greengrass who made a silent vowbthe day her bestfriend Hyacinthb Black Malfoy died that she would watch over her three boys for herand that she would be their for them like she promise in her death bed.

Death collected Hyacinth Black Malfoy’s soul, but the moment Hyacinth arrived in the realm of the dead she quickly reborn in another world so simikar to her old one. She is reborn a twin once again. She is the youngest Daughter of Klaus Mikaelson and Hayle Marshall.

                    Faith lilac Mikaelson the reborn self of Hyacinth Black Malfoy one of the most powerful witch of her generation that rivals her former twin sister Camalia Liliana Potter Weasley. So it was no surprised that she is a powerful witch on her new life as well. But she isn’t treated right by her new family, she is ignored by her parents Klaus Mikaelson & Hayley Marshall, and her Aunt Rebekah who always dream of having children of her own ignore her as well she take my presence as a nuisance to the family. The same could be said for Elijah Mikaelson the so called Noble Uncle. Then their’s Freya Mikaelson the long lost sister of the original Family, she is no better than the rest of their family, they all ignored Faith Mikaelson for the Suppose Strongest twin, Hope Andrea Mikealson.

But if you had ask Kol Mikalson who was the strongest witch between Hope and Faith. He’ll say Faith is more powerfull than do called “First Born” witch of the Mikaeldon family. He is the only one who knows what Faith is feeling being ignored like they woild rather be anywhere but with her. He know that feeling since been their for almost all his life never fiting in with his brothers or sister even when they were human so it was no surprise that he favore Faith his youngest niece. Other than him his wife Davina Claire and Marcel Gerald are the only one who loves her.

            Faith Lilac Mikaelson was ignored by almost by all her family with the exception of her favorite Uncle Kol Mikaelsonand his wife her Aunt Davina along with her brother figure Marcel Gerald for 6 years and she can’t afford to stay in the same house as hrt so call family any longer, so she run away from home only telling her Uncle Kol and her Aunt Davina along with her brother figure Marcel and made them promise not say anything to their so call family not that that they would even know that she run away at all.

when she arrive at her desried location Mystic Fall, and she cast a powerfull cloaking spell on herself to make sure her Aunt Freya can’t tract her

“coeur la vous votre tai ma say tou” with the help of the spirit of Esther and Dahlia Mikaelson.

And it wasn’t long before she vefan casting the Rescurrection spell of her own creation that her Uncle Finn was brought a vampire with out needing to drink human blood at all. The spell work like it should she was affair that it would fail. She conjured him some clothes to wear before telling him Everything thatvhappen since he died and that the only one who cared about what haappen to her is her Unclec Kol and his wife her Aunt Davina other than both of them shebis mostly ignored by the rest of her family  for first 6 years of her life.

Finn Mikaelson didn’t think that his family could get any worse, But he was proven wrong,  they have chosen to ignore a child like her very existen didn’t worth a thing. Like how they all treated Kol when we were all human. He talk to his new discovered niece the youngest Daughter of his brother Klaus. He even had the chance to speak with his youngest brother Kol in the phone. He decided to rise his youngest niece like my brother Klaus should have done. The only one who even rised Faith right is my youngest brother Kol Mikealson and his wife Davina Clair and in a year Kol and his wife would be moving back to Mystic Fall to be near Faith. The only one who remotly change from all my siblings is my youngest brother Kol and he use to be the most iresponsible of all my siblings.

         Finn enroled his young niece to Salvator Boarding School for the Gifted where she meet children her age and made her very first friend  in Jason “Jace” Alexsander Salvator the son of Caroline Forbes and her late husband Stefan Salvator, He is a Heretic Vampire, she also befriend the saltzman twins but she closer to Jace and Lizzy more

            Faith Mikaelson past memories of her past life has been slowly returning to her, but while she regaining the memories of her past life she has no connection to that life except for the memories that’s returning. She also began re-creating every spells that Hyacinth Black Malfoy knows and use it to daily life. Even re-creating all the spell she ever created in that life.

  It didn’t take long before Faith befriend Jace’s cousin Hunter Grayson Salvator the son of Elena Gilbert and Damon Salvator.

      While both Elena and Damon Salvator still hate  Klaus Mikealsonbfor everything that he ever did to them, but his youngest daughter Faith is innocent from Klaus own crime, in fac she has their sympathy for having Klaus Mikaelson as her father and never having a real childhood being ignored by most of her family. It wss hard to believed the most iresponsible Mikalson end up to be the one carring for this innocent and sweet little girl. The more they get to kow Faith Mikaelson, she remind everyone so much of Elena herself when she was a kid, so it was no surprise to anyone that Damon end up liking Faith so much.

          1 year later...

Kol Mikaelson and his wife Davina Claire start to distance themself from the rest of the family after their favorite niece Faith Lilac Mikaelson run away from home they didn’t even notice she was even missing for 5 months after the Hallow to possession of Hope and in order to keep Hope safe, Freya divided all the Hallow in equal part of 4 before being sealed inside there body before their seperate way to keep Hope safe, and Hayle knows to keep of Mystic Fall since that’s where Kol and Davina plan to move. 

The part of the Hallow inside Kol wouldn’t be able to try to take possession of Faith’s body since Faith casted a powerful cloakihg and protection spell on her person that not even Freya can break through.

             6 & 1/2 years later..

Faith Lilac Mikaelson and

Jason “Jace” Alexsander Salvator  both recently turn 18 years old and graduate at Salvator boarding school after attenteding the school for 12 years. And they both plan on leaving Mystic Fall for Collage and attented Norwich University of the Art in England.

But before they leave for Collage they are going to attend the wedding of her srcound favorite 

Uncle Finn Mikaelson’s big wedding to our favorite teacher in Salvator Boarding School

Adela Harper Jones my new Aunt teach Salvator Boarding School as the Defence Teacher and she’s a Phoenix.

       After Uncle Finn and Aunt Adelab left for their Honeymoon in Paris did both Faith and Jace left gor Collage as well.

Freya found away to destroy all the Hallow without her brothers and sister dying so that Hope may have all her family together again so with the Hallow gone.

Hope Andrea Mikaelson is trying yo convince her parents to allow her to attented normal school like any teenager. It only took her two months, before all of them leaves New Orlean to move back to Mystic Fall for Hope’s new school, Freya already called Salvator Boarding School to enrole Hope Mikaelson.

The Salvators, and Bennett witch along with the rest of their friends that the rest of the Mikaelson are moving back in town. The reason they accept Kol and Finn Mikaelson is because they know both of them have change, so they aren’t happy that Klaus and the rest of his siblings return to Mystic Fall.

Hope Mikaelson is having problem making friends until 5 months later, when she offically meet Jossie Saltzman and befriend her but Jossie’s twin sister Lizzie tend to avoid me no matter what, I gotten the feeling that Lizzy hates my gut.

          Lizzie Saltzman don’t get what’s so imprortant about Hope Mikaelson that her family ignored her best friend very existence well it can’t be because Hope being more powerful witch because Faith is alot more powerful witch than her older twin sister, just because Hope Mikaelson is a tribird dosen’t mean she’s more powerful than Faith their uncle Kol and Finn would be able to tell you that.

5 months later on March 5, Hope Mikaelson meet another new student who’s a blonde Doppleganger of Faith Mikaelson

 who is a new werewolf student, and Hope befriend Clarrisa “Clary” Rose Smith unknown to Hope that that the reason why Kol and Finn are shock to meet Hope’s new friend is because she look like a blonde version of Faith Mikaelson not that Hope knows her new friend look is a look a like her younger twin.

Damon and Elena are worried that their might be another Doppleganger Drama again in the coming future since Clary Smith look like a blonde werewolf version of Faith Mikaelson. They already went through Doppleganger drama that would last them a life time. 

          2 years later...

Faith and Jace graduate Norwich University of Art only attented Collage for 2 years graduating early. After graduating Faith and jace are getting married after they get out of Collage which their close friends and family are invited for the wedding. They got married in England.

Faith Lilac Mikaelson and 

Jason “Jace” Alexsander Salvator are in their honeymoon  in singapore they stayed their for 3 months before visit their family in Mystic Fall, but they plan to settle in England instead of staying  in England to work where Faith has slowly been creating her own Fashion Line called FLMS Fashion since the beging of their collage career, while Jace also been directing small movies of his own is slowly rising up like his wife so they decided to stay in England.

Mystic Fall...

While Faith and Jace Salvator visit their family Klaus and Hayley manged to catch a glimps of their youngest daughyter Faith wuo’s living a successful life recently married to her lingbtime Boyfriend Jace Salavtor the son of Caroline Forbes and her late husband Stefan Salvator. She’s close to both Finn and Kol along with their respected wifes.

The family tried to approach her over the week she was in mystic fall but they never manged to talk to her and how they all wish yo make up for everything  when she was a child leaving her out to celebrate Hope and Faith’s birthday they realized that Kol and Davina were more Faith’s parents than they were. It wasn’t long before returning to England.

[dammitadolfnomorecake]

Once Bitten, Twice Stupid prt.4

Lance kept the rear view mirror on the two strangers in the back. The shorter one of the two was unfairly hot. Lance might never have had sex, out of fear of losing self control, the fact he was monster, and he didn’t know if he was going to knock some poor stranger up with some half vampire kid, but he knew well enough that the man was edging on his type. Untalkative, the man had his arms crossed, hand clutching the raspberry slushy Pidge had forced upon him. He looked as impressed to be in Lance’s car, as Lance was to have him there.

“If you don’t mind me asking, what is it that you three do that has you out so late at night?”

Lance did mind. Thanks to Pidge these two strangers had been committed to memory for the rest of his undead life

“Man, you don’t want to get Pidge started...”

Hunk was also uneasy. He’d found his way into the bag of chocolate eclairs, the pile of wrappers now more than the chocolates left

“Oh? Pidge?”

“We’re paranormal investigators. You’ve heard all about Garrisons blood past... well, we’re going to be the first to capture it all on film”

Shiro raised an eyebrow, Lance accidentally meeting his eyes in the mirror, quickly averting his gaze back to the road

“Oh, but Lance is a lawyer... He’s the serious one who doesn’t believe in ghosts”

Thanks for that Pidge, now Shiro’s attention was on him

“You’re a lawyer?”

“Yep. Got the fancy piece of paper and everything”

“Wow. What kind of law do you practice?”

“Family”

Yeah, Lance knew his manners were lacking, he didn’t need Pidge kicking the back of his chair like she did

“Ah. That must be tough”

“Some days are worse than others, but it is what it is. What do you two do?”

It was on the tip of Lance’s tongue to mention the photography thing, but being a dumb human meant they didn’t always remember what was said

“That’s right, you said your brother was into photography?”

Aaaaand the attention was back on Pidge

“Yeah, Keith likes to take photos, it’s more a hobby than anything. I’ll save you the details and just say I’m in finance. Not terribly interesting”

Great. A finance guy right next to the registered hacker of the group...

“Sounds boring”

Shiro snorted a laugh. Lance cursing mentally that he now had Keith’s name in his head

“It has its moments. So you guys are into the paranormal? Ever see anything?”

“Not yet. But you never kno-ooow. Watch where you’re driving!”

Turning onto the dirt road that lead to his house, Lance could have probably been gentler on the ditch. Each year the council filled the damn thing up, only for it to all erode away with the first rains of the year

“If you’re not used it by now, you never will be”

“That’s because you can’t drive for shit”

“It sounds to me like you want to walk home in the morning”

“I’ll be good”

Lance’s lips betrayed him with a smile. Pidge would never “good”, her rebellious behaviour was just another thing about her to love

“Yeah, yeah. You’ve told me that a hundred times and I’m still waiting”

“Oh, shut it, dad”

“If I was your dad, you’d be grounded for life”

“That’s fine. People suck anyway”

“With no wifi”

Pidge lunges forward in her chair, an arm coming around him in a hug

“I’ll be good! Please don’t take my wifi away”

“As if I could. You’re the one who set it up”

“Oh, right. Guess I don’t need to be that nice to you then”

Licking his cheek, Lance wrinkled his nose

“You’re so fucking gross”

“You love me”

“That I do. We’re nearly home. Sorry it’s not much, I don’t really have visitors over. And I hope you’re not allergic to cats, Blue likes to shed all over the place”

In the back, Keith scoffed

“What kind of a name is “Blue” for a cat?”

How dare he insult Blue and her perfect little body of complete perfection. Blue was Blue, his number one girl, not a number one emo reject in the backseat of a strangers car because he hadn’t bothered learning basic maintenance

“I don’t know, what kind of name is “Keith” for a mullet”

When Shiro laughed, Lance was certain it was the man’s first real and genuine laugh for the night

“He’s got you there”

“Go fuck yourself”

Pidge laughed as Keith sulked. If he wasn’t good at taking a joke, then he shouldn’t be dishing it out. Not that Lance was one to talk

“Don’t mind him. He gets cranky when he’s sleepy”

The wrinkles between Keith’s eyebrows deepened at his brother’s explanation

“You’re the one who could have just got a hotel room”

“And you’re the one being rude. Lance, and his friends, are doing us a favour”

“Or they’re going to murder us in our sleep”

“Nah, man. That’s too much effort. I’ll make you a deal though, you don’t murder us and we won’t murder you”

Keith seemed even grumpier at Lance’s joke, Lance just anxious to reach his house already. This was terrible idea, a disaster in the making, and the plot of a pretty average b-grade movie. One thing was for sure though, he wasn’t wearing a matching bra and underwear, pretty much guaranteeing he wouldn’t be the first one murdered.

*

Parking by the steps of the porch, the rain started pelting down as Lance cut the ignition. Relieved to finally be home, he could see Blue sleeping on the windowsill of the living room, having decided to ruin yet another set of vertical blinds in her search for the perfect napping spot. Seeing her was what brought the greatest relief, not the warm light filtered between the blinds, and the knowledge his house would be nice and warm with his bed waiting for his tired arse. Opting to leave the equipment in the car for the night, Lance figured he’d collect it once the other’s fell asleep. All Pidge needed was the camera cards, and her laptop, which she was small enough to climb into the trunk for. God. He really didn’t want strangers in his house, judging things, and even worse, touching things. He liked all his things and he liked them where they were. Routine was key to keeping his sanity, and familiarity helped his Mami whenever he brought her home for a visit.

Fleeing from the car, they all managed to get themselves wet despite the short distance. The rain didn’t bother Lance, not when he couldn’t actually catch a cold from prolonged exposure to the cold. It was his guests his had to worry about

“Come on in. Leave your shoes by the door and I’ll grab us all some towels. Shiro, you and Keith probably don’t have a change of clothes with you, so I’ll lend you some robes now. You can chuck your stuff in the machine, then put it in the dryer before heading to bed. Hunk, wanna show them through the kitchen? I know we’ve got snacks, but I would kill for a glass of red”

“You got it, buddy”

The look in Hunk’s eyes seemed to question if he really wanted Shiro and Keith to know where Lance kept his knives. Hunk was too polite to blurt that out, not like Pidge who had no filter

“Out the way losers, I’ve got a date with my princess”

“My princess, is sleeping on the living room window sill. Don’t blame me if you get scratched”

“That’s just her way of telling me how much she loves me”

“Or how much you drive her insane”

“Rude, much. I’ll meet you guys in the kitchen when I’ve got my Blue”

Pidge pushed both her slushies over to Hunk, Hunk seemed nervous about left alone, but mentally rallied as he managed a smile

“The kitchen’s through here”

With three robes and a bundle of towels, Lance returned to the kitchen where Hunk had started stress baking. The signs were obvious, from the flour next to the mixing bowl, to Pidge sitting on the kitchen bench with an unhappy looking Blue held in her lap

“Sorry, some lazy arsehole didn’t sort the linen closest”

It was lie. He simply, really, truly didn’t want to deal with his visitors. Passing Shiro and Keith a robe and a towel each, Lance went on to wrap a towel over Hunk’s shoulders, then throw Pidge’s at her. Catching the towel, she managed to keep Blue contained in her lap, despite Blue’s displeasure

“Let me guess, that means you?”

Lance’s big blue eyes widened, shocked Shiro would make a joke

“Damn, Lance. I think I might just like this one”

“Oh, bite it, Pidge. Yeah. That lazy arsehole’s me. Even if there were more hours in the day, I’d still probably spend them sleeping. Did Hunk offer you guys a coffee?”

“Already on it, man. I’m whipping up some butter cookies to go with the tea”

Lance sighed to himself again, mentally of course because his mother would have smacked his arse had he done it out loud. He didn’t do guests for a reason. The feeding them thing was annoying

“I hope you don’t mind, but can you show us where the bathroom is?”

Right. They were wet. He was wet. He was supposed to be human, which meant sliding his robe on over his clothes, or rather starting too then realising it wouldn’t go on over his jacket. God. He was making an idiot of himself.

With his jacket over his chair, Lance flashed Shiro and Keith a smile

“Yeah, through here. You guys can go ahead and take a shower if you want. I mean, seperate showers, or whatever, no judgment if you’re into that kind of thing. Sorry, I’m not used to visitors. Feel free to use whatever you find in the guest bathroom, most of it’s Hunk and Pidge’s stuff they’ve left here, but there’s fresh soap bars and spare toothbrushes in the second drawer”

Someone needed to shut him up. Stitch his goddamn lips together, then bury him until his embarrassment worse off. Lance’s moves were still as he led his guests from the kitchen to the bathroom

“Here we go. I’ll put you in the spare room down here, and we’ll sleep upstairs. There’s not much down here, just my office which is the end room. Your room will be the next door up, it’s got two twins in there, so plenty of space. Pidge set up a charge pad, because you guys probably didn’t bring your chargers either. If you go all the way the other way in this hall, you’ll reach the laundry. Everything’s out in the open, so help yourself. I know this is awkward as fuck, and probably is for you two, but there’s no saying no to Pidge once she thinks something is a good idea. Oh, yeah, don’t be afraid to take your time, if you get lost, give us a yell”

Shiro thanked him, towing Keith into the bathroom by the arm. Lance not going to question that one. Not at all. Nope. Nooo... God that family had some good genetics though. Under all his brooding pouting, Lance had caught sight of Keith’s eyes... Eyes like two small galaxies had been captured and shoved in there. How they were so damn purple when he was human, Lance didn’t know, but fuck it was unfair.

When the bathroom door closed, Lance headed down to the office. Pidge couldn’t be trusted with electronic locks, leaving him the only option of dead locking the door. His explanation was that the cases he worked on deserved privacy, which his two friends respected. He’d let them in the office once to satisfy their curiosity, Pidge finding the sheer number of books boring. On the outside it appeared a normal office. Bookcases, filing cabinets, his framed diploma, laptop, printer, all those sorts of normal office things. His desk was organised around the clutter, that totally wasn’t his fault. He couldn’t help he had a weakness for quirky stationary. His current favourite pen was decorated with dancing cacti. The small things in life helped him deal with life’s less than pleasant things. Under his desk were the only two anomalies of the room. On the left, instead of drawers, was his wine rack. On the right, behind the drawers, was his fridge. Lance might be the worlds biggest klutz with his glasses on, but he wasn’t stupid enough to leave his blood bags where everyone could see them. Locked behind a heavy iron door, the previous fireplace of the room meant no one paid much attention to the outside protrusion where it once sat. He’d kept the decorative tiles in place, making a feature of it around his desk in order to keep the questions to a minimum. When it came to time leave his current set up, he was going to be devastated.

With precious minutes ticking down, Lance grabbed himself out the blood pack he’d started for the day. He never let himself go hungry, but with two strangers in the house it was better he let himself have a small feed just to keep his nerves in check. Grabbing down a wine glass and the closest bottle of Shiraz, he poured himself a double before pouring in a good double shot of blood. The bag was O+, not his favourite, yet not the worst. He wasn’t one of those blood snobs that only every drank one type. He was grateful for what he could get, and more grateful to the people who donated their blood under their own free will. Naturally they were compensated for their blood and their time, Coran who ran the blood bank in Platt wasn’t a man to be messed with. Lance knew Coran wasn’t human, yet he had no clue what race he was, nor did he have any idea the race of his niece Allura who often helped out. The pair of them were the coordinators for most of Platt city, and the surrounding area, providing safe blood for those not in a coven or forced from a coven due to whatever reason, with in reason... He knew they weren’t human, as neither of them had aged a single day in all the years he’d known them... which was a pretty long time when he stopped to think about it... which he definitely didn’t have time to right now.

Straightening up his office, Lance then headed back to the kitchen. Hunk busy with the cookies he’d just placed in the oven, while Pidge was sipping on her slurpy. Blue knew she wasn’t supposed to be on the kitchen table, yet gave zero fucks, Lance striding over to scoop her up and pepper her with kisses, after placing his glass down carefully

“Who’s daddy’s good girl?”

Blue shot him look that expressed how little she thought of him, done with his craziness and protesting of her less than regal treatment

“Yes, I know. You don’t care, you just want your wet food and the blanket turned back on. It’s such a hard life”

Stooping to let Blue down, she gave him a look of disgust before licking at her fur as if to erase his pats. Picking up his wine glass again, he took another sip, feeling the way the blood coated his mouth as it slid down easily

“Well, that’s done. They’re in the bathroom now, doing whatever. I still can’t believe you volunteered my house”

Pidge shrugged

“I know if it was Matt who was stuck, I’d want someone good to help him out. I promise to pay for anything that gets damaged”

“Damn, girl. How much they pay you for that tour?”

Pidge shrugged again. They both knew she wouldn’t be paying, if she tried Lance wouldn’t let her

“Enough”

Matt was a bit of a tricky topic. He was a firm believer in all things paranormal and supernatural. For all her enthusiasm and research, Matt dwarfed Pidge’s knowledge by a long shot. Apparently when Pidge was younger Matt had got himself in a bit of jam chasing ghosts, since whatever had happened, he’d left to track things all across the world. Pidge missed him fiercely, and was left constantly cranky with her brother at his lack of regular updates

“Speaking of Matt, have you heard from him lately”

Lance was glad Hunk was the one asking, he’d stripped Pidge bare of all her defences, keeping her secrets at the same time as keeping her grounded

“Not for something like 3 months now. Dad said he was in Italy the last time he checked in with him. Mum worries herself sick when she doesn’t hear from him”

“Pidge, if he’s anything like you, then he’s fine. You Holt’s are a touch bunch”

Pidge sighed, Lance sympathising over how hard it could be not to hear from your siblings. There was nothing like the love and hate that came with having a sibling. Half the time you want to murder them in their sleep, but god help anyone else who messed with them. His whole family had changed after he’d been turned, they’d aged while he remained the same. Now he was getting depressed.

Sliding off the counter, Pidge threw herself at him, wrapping her arms around him in a fierce hug

“I just... really miss him”

“I know you do. I’m sure he misses you, but he’s like you and once he’s off chasing something time looses all meaning”

“Yeah. I mean, I know he is, but sometimes it really...”

“Fucking sucks”

Pidge nodded as Lance finished her sentence for her. She was just a baby, while he was an old man of 44

“Have you messaged him lately?”

“Everyday”

That had to hurt even worse. 120 plus messages left on read

“Until he comes back, you’ll have to be happy with the two of us”

“I mean... if I reeeeeeally have to”

Hunk turned from the oven, enveloping both of them in a bear hug

“Group hug!”

Pidge laughed, faking an attempt at squirming her way out. Hunk laughing too as he lifted them both off their feet for a moment. Lance’s poor wineglass barely surviving the ordeal

“You two are stuck with me”

“Yep. We sure are. And we’re the luckiest people alive”

Well, Pidge was alive. His undead arse sure wasn’t getting any closer to living

“Okay, that’s enough, losers. I’m gonna go set the tapes up. Hopefully we’ll see something good”

“Or not. Not seeing anything is good too. Lance, go make sure she doesn’t edit the video in some way... I’m going to have nightmares tonight as it is”

“I’ve got you, bud. Come on, Gremlin. Let’s go set up your videos”

Lance had nearly let himself forget there were two strangers in his house. He couldn’t actually forget, but he was trying his damn hardest as he let Pidge’s techno-babble wash over him. He’d never met Matt in person, but Pidge’s missing him was bringing up how much he missed his own siblings. Mami would let him know how they’re doing, keeping him in the family loop. It had to be Papi’s funeral when he’s last seen them all. Lance lying through his teeth that he was named after his father, Lance, to pass off his young looks. He missed his papi. His papi had worked hard all his life, a farmer through and through, with every analogy somehow farm related. Especially when it came to his tractor, that was the man’s default go to when explaining anything, or attempting to have a father and son chat. He missed him something fierce, like he missed his siblings. None of them had invited him to his papi’s wake, Lance felt like he shouldn’t even be at the service, but his Mami gripped his hand and kept him close the whole time. She was the only one who wasn’t afraid of him. Lance hated them all for leaving him, but he loved them all because when they were kids things were so much less complicated. Late night bonfires, hunting on the farm, surfing, dancing in the rain. Huge family Christmas’s where it felt like everyone in town showed up. Kids in and out the the house, not like Christmases now days where he’d spend time with his Mami in the morning, taking her to church for mass then out for a drive, blow off his friends, binge bad rom-coms come evening and cook a feast up for Blue.

Smacked in the face with a flying TV remote Lance was forced back out of his self loathing shell. He had a good life, and even better friends. There was nothing wrong with the way he lived, and he had a sense pride in the work he did. Not all cases went his way, but he his head on better than most as far he was concerned

“What the fuck?”

“That’s for tuning out when I was trying to talk to me”

“You hit me in the face”

“Good. I was aiming for you chest, if that help”

Lance rose a finger to poke at his eyebrow where the remote had hit, there didn’t seem to be any blood, so he supposed he could let Pidge off

“You have my undivided attention. What did I miss?”

“I was saying it’s good to go, whenever Hunk gets here”

“You know he’s really going to have nightmares tonight”

“Then he can crawl into bed with you”

“What’s wrong with you?”

“Uh, hello. I’m a girl, and Shay’s a girl”

Lance rolled his eyes

“Really? I hadn’t noticed”

“I’m just saying, don’t wanna make things complicated”

“There’s nothing going on between you two. It’s fine, you’ve shared a bed before”

“But not when Hunk was this close to finally getting a girlfriend”

Pidge held her fingers together, rather than the normal tiny gap

“Fine, but he sleeps in your room and you sleep with the light on”

“What are we? Twelve?”

“Awww, did little Pidge sleep with the light on all the way up to 12?”

“Oh, fuck you. You’re only like 2 years older than me. I bet you kept your night light on until you last night”

Pidge’s face said she was thinking over her words, knowing that something didn’t quite sit right in what she’d said, but if he was to point that out, he’d be hit for having the nerve

“Yep. I’m completely hopeless. Who knows what lurks in the dark. What if the monster under my bed attacked my feet because they hung over? What would I do then?”

“You’re such an arsehole”

“Hey, Blue has a stage where my toes were her mortal enemy”

“I’m going to tell Blue you’re going around telling everyone she’s a monster”

“By definition, all cats are arseholes. She knows she’s the cutest little monster that’s too tiny to take me down”

“Dude, she’s got you wrapped around her little finger?”

“Oh, so Lance has a girlfriend?”

Caught up in Pidge, Lance hadn’t heard Shiro approaching. He damp near jumped out of his skin at the unexpected voice

“No, this loser is unlucky in love, like the rest of us”

“Ah...”

Shiro sounded confused, Lance embarrassed

“We’re talking about my cat. She’s a pint sized monster. She’s probably going to be cranky all night because I didn’t give her more wet food”

“Ah, I see now...”

The silence that fell was awkward as fuck... Right. He had to be a good host

“We’re going to watch what Pidge filmed tonight, if you’re up to it. Hunk’s cookies should be done soon...”

“Oh, I was thinking Keith and I might just head to bed. You know, get out of your hair”

“Dude, you have to try Hunk’s cookies. They’re like a gift from god”

Shiro gave a nervous laugh, not everyone got Pidge’s humour, or brashness

“When you put it like that, how can I say no?”

Pidge clapped her hands

“Excellent. Now, the most important thing of all, do you believe in ghosts?”

“I can’t really say one way or another. I do have a friend that’s into that sort of thing”

“Then the next time you talk to them, you’re going to sound like a total expert. Sit down and buckle up, it’s time for an adventure into what lies beyond”

Pidge waved her fingers as her voice adopted a spooky tone for the “what lies beyond” part. Poor Shiro was coping Pidge totally nerding out. At least if she managed to scare him away, Lance wouldn’t have to worry about crossing paths with him, or his brother, ever again. Ugh. Being nice was exhausting.