#i am. normal. about train tracks. btw

[robot4robot]

being objectum but aroace for humans is so odd ... i will see the hottest sexiest person alive and feel nothing and then start sweating when i see some train tracks

[how2fit]

American sprinter Gabby Thomas is coming home from the 2024 Paris Olympics as the most decorated member of Team USA Track & Field—she won gold in the women’s 200-meter, as well as the 4x100-meter and 4x400-meter relays. That makes her only the fifth woman in track and field to win three gold medals in the same Olympics, and the first to do it since Allyson Felix in 2012. “There really are no words to describe how grateful I am for this moment,” Thomas said when she sat down with Well+Good in Paris. “I have looked up to Allyson since I was a young girl, and to be likened to her and to be following in her footsteps is a dream.” But for the 27-year-old—who took home bronze and silver during her Olympic debut in Tokyo—life isn’t all about chasing medals. Thomas holds a bachelor’s degree in neurobiology from Harvard University and a master’s degree in public health from the University of Texas Health Science Center. Outside of her far more public work on the track, she is dedicated to her work at an Austin, Texas, volunteer health care clinic for people without insurance. While some may see that as a distraction from her work on the track, Thomas sees it as a superpower. “I think it's really healthy to have a balance,” she says. “When I signed with New Balance initially, that's just what I was doing. I was in school and pursuing my dreams off the track, and kind of doing things my own way. I was working hard on the track and growing, but I was focused on growing holistically as a whole person.” Clearly, her intentionally balanced approach is paying off, which comes as no surprise to Thomas. “When you're growing that discipline and that commitment to working hard, it'll show up in every part of your life,” she says. “Being happy is sustainable. It just really makes me love waking up every day, working hard, and getting after it.” The spotlight will inevitably stay bright on Thomas, who has said she plans to train for the 2028 Olympics in Los Angeles. Here are a few ways she manages to stay grounded and focused on the bigger picture despite the fame and attention. 1. She has her morning routine nailed down Thomas’ days are busy between practice, recovery, and working with her patients. While she says her days are incredibly fulfilling, it’s the little things that help her feel calm and excited rather than stressed out and overwhelmed. She starts each day with her go-to morning routine: “Waking up, getting coffee, and taking my puppy for a walk,” Thomas says. (Her puppy is an adorable pug named Rico, btw.) “I look forward to waking up and doing that—it's those small things I love to do.” “Being happy is sustainable. It just really makes me love waking up every day, working hard, and getting after it.” —Gabby Thomas 2. She goes back to her roots When she’s not traveling and competing, Thomas also loves being outside in her hometown of Austin. “We live right on some water on the trail, and it’s great,” she says. “It’s a very ‘normal’ life.” She also loves going out to eat. “Austin has a great food scene,” she says. Her favorite spots? “Clark's is really good. I love Hank's. Oh, Flo's Wine Bar. That's, that's my favorite spot, actually. But for the pizza—it has amazing pizza.” But that doesn’t mean her kitchen is collecting dust. Thomas says her air fryer gets plenty of use. “My boyfriend got me into cooking, which has been really good and healthy for me, because it's so easy to get back from practice and just order food,” Thomas says. Right now, they’re really into cooking salmon bowls. (“He also loves to cook steak,” she says.) 3. She expresses herself when she competes Everything about Thomas is golden, including her jewelry. “A fun part of track and field is that we get to show our personality a little bit when we compete,” she says. “We get to wear jewelry, and do our hair how we want, do our makeup. I just do a little bit because it's kind of my personality. So I have my Omega watch, and just some permanent jewelry. And I have my Oura ring, which honestly is not even charged right now, so it's just for the vibes.

” 4. She focuses on recovery If there's one aspect of her life where Thomas is less chill, it’s her recovery routine. “Recovery is so big for me,” she says. “Sleep is number one. I get at least nine hours of sleep every night, and I don't play about it.” She nails all the stuff that any of us can do, like eating healthy and making sure she’s recovering mentally. But she also takes things, well, up a notch. Thomas loves using a hyperbaric chamber, a treatment that involves breathing pure oxygen in a pressurized environment with the goal of speeding up the recovery process. “I bought [a hyperbaric chamber] for one of my rooms,” she says. “You can do it for as long as you want, but the best is if you can do it for one-hour sessions, three to four times a week. That's kind of sustainable and realistic.” Thomas also has a NanoJet bubble machine, which she says shares the same scientific properties as a hyperbaric chamber. “You put it in a bathtub, and the bubbles are so tiny, and there’s so many of them, and it’s just pure oxygen. It's newer, and there isn't a ton of research on it, honestly. But I'm just so into this recovery stuff that I’m willing to try anything.” 5. She pays it forward While her work at the clinic had to take a bit of a hiatus for the Olympics, Thomas says she’ll get right back to it when she’s back to Austin. “With this program, I just want to help it grow so that we can have as many resources as possible to help the patients and give them whatever they need,” she says. “Not just in terms of medications and making appointments, but for example, New Balance was able to donate a lot of shoes—so they all got to come and pick up free running shoes. And that was incredible. It meant a lot to a lot of them, because that’s a big part of it; it really motivates you and inspires you to just go outside, be active, and exercise.”

[glystenangel]

one kiss is all it takes😙✨

Simp! Satoru Gojo, Getou Suguru, Nanami Kento, & Toji Fushiguro x EmotionallyUnavail&Gn!Reader

tags/warning: slight angst but mostly fluff!, they r obsessed with youuu, reassurance and comfort, words of affirmation type beat, kinda corny but :)), v soft!!, also pretending getou is not evil here *coughs*, reader is a sorcerer also btw

summary: you're scared of getting heartbroken, but after an unplanned kiss you get all the reassurance you need from the jjk men

~less than 1k

thanks for reading and enjoy<3

________________

Why, of all people, did he have to kiss you? 

It was enough that you two flirted on an almost every day basis as you trained or ran into each other on random errands, but this? Unacceptable.

This wasn’t some vapid conversation or sparring session.

This was a kiss.

And worst of all it happened when you were at the end of what was supposed to be a casual, meaningless stop for drinks after a mission.

The man had to have been insane to even try.

Even if you had leaned into it.

Or, even if the kiss did have you melting into his arms as they encircled your figure.

Maybe because after so many seamless conversations and underneath that borrowed secrecy just outside of a random streetlight, it had felt a little too good to be true.

As if you could truly mean something to him.

Now you had no choice but to stave off any potential heartbreak by dashing in the opposite direction whenever you saw him.

Unfortunately yet predictably, this solution is short-lived.

Gojo-------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Where are you going?” 

Gojo has been popping up everywhere today.

It doesn’t matter if you’re teaching a class, overseeing spars, in the office area, or even eating lunch in your car. There he is, all pale hair and pretty grins, asking if he can talk to you.

“Bathroom.” You lie, briskly upping your pace as Gojo easily glides alongside you in the hallway.

“Liar. You’re avoiding me. It’s obvious, you know?” He clicks his tongue, tilting his head towards you as you continue walking.

“No, I’m not.” You lie again, and this seems to amuse him.

You roll your eyes, figuring the truth might get him off your tracks, “I’m going to the library…and then the bathroom after that.”

A smirk plays across his lips, and he holds out his hands.

“We should probably talk about that kiss before you get to the library then-”

You shove him into an empty classroom, and Gojo starts guffawing as you lock the door.

“Shut up for a second.” You hiss, shushing him with a glare.

He straightens, scratching at a spot above his blindfold with a tight smile.

“What’s the matter? Are you okay?”

His genuinely concerned cadence has butterflies swirling in your stomach. For someone normally so lackadaisical, he could become intensely serious in an instant.

Like he was now, with his jaw clicking shut and his stare piercing through his blindfold.

“Sorry. Everything’s fine. Really.”

He steps closer, and the hard wood of the classroom wall hits your back as you try to maintain your distance from the renowned sorcerer.

Gojo, ever observant with well, everything, furrows his brows at your lack of proximity.

“Did I… Am I doing something wrong?”

Guilt starts to set in, so you shake your head.

“I must’ve done something. Can you tell me?” His large hand hovers close to your cheek, and then he seems to think better of it as he drops his palm to his side.

You want to return it to its natural place on your skin. Maybe replicate the surreal manner he caressed your face prior to kissing you, with the pads of his fingers resting along the nape of your neck and his thumb finding precious home on your bottom lip before replacing it with the soft confidence of his own lips.

A brief grimace crosses his handsome face, wrinkling the black fabric across the bridge of his nose. It’s almost like he remembers that same, loving sweep of his fingers.

The dreamlike memory chips at your resolve, and eventually your emotions become caught in your throat.

“It’s not what you did, it’s what you might do. I don’t want my heart to break because of you.”

The admission comes out shakier than you anticipated.

A bite of your lip, and the corners of your watery vision threaten to spill out.

“I’m scared. That’s all.” You mumble quietly.

“How foolish.”

You’re about to protest until you register the tender, mournful tone of his voice.

“I would never do anything to hurt you. Okay?” Gojo leans down, tugging down his blindfold so he can look into your eyes properly.

In an instant, you’re mesmerized. 

His irises are flooded with light, and akin to nothing except adoration encapsulated.

Perfect mirrors.

You could tell he was thinking the same thing about the sight of your own eyes.

“I want to protect you…and I’m scared too. Trust me.”

He chuckles, patting your head and letting his fingertips cascade down to your cheek.

You close your eyes, kissing his knuckle when it ghosts the corner of your lip and his other hand cups the small of your back.

At that, the smile seems to return to his voice, “I care about protecting you more than my duty should allow. It’s dangerous, but I don’t mind it.”

“Why?” You tilt your head, tentatively crossing your arms behind his neck.

A sigh escapes him, but the wry smile never leaves his face.

“Because I know you’ll protect me too. I trust you as if I’ve never been betrayed before. Isn’t that stupid?”

Getou-----------------------------------------------------------------------

“Hey, I’m trying to talk to you. What are you doing?”

Getou paces behind you as you collect your things from around the sparring ring.

“Leaving.” You rifle through your gym bag on the floor, hellbent on wiping yourself down and then getting the fuck out of here.

You swore that you had brought a freshly washed one today.

The frustrated thought leaves you right as Getou waves your towel in front of your nose.

Of course, when you reach towards the square of fabric he swings it above your head, “You can’t leave.”

“I can’t?” You stand to glare at him, and he sighs as he palms a hand through his raven strands of hair.

“No,” He throws the cloth over his shoulder, “We have to talk about this. About us.”

You cross your arms in defeat, “Why? So you can pretend to care and then break my heart like nothing ever happened?”

As soon as the words leave your mouth, you feel shame sinking into the bottom of your stomach.

Getou’s entire demeanor seems to shift, and his face appears so crestfallen you can hardly look at him.

“Is that really what you think this is?” He asks, voice brimming with palpable hurt.

Saying anything seems wrong, so you remain silent, pressing your lips together and bowing your head.

“Come here.” Getou finally says, a more gentle tone lining the request.

Despite the way the request soothes you, you don’t move.

“Come on, c’mere.” He approaches you steadily, and in spite of yourself, you open your arms and allow him to hug you close.

Getou leans back with a sigh, pinching your cheek with a hand.

“I won’t let you think like that anymore. Don’t come to conclusions by yourself either, okay?”

“Okay.” You shyly accept, and he rolls his eyes with a scoff before carefully wiping at your face with the towel.

“Besides…you know you can’t get rid of me that easily, right?”

Nanami---------------------------------------------------------------------

“You’ve been avoiding me.”

Nanami has caught up to you, and he’s as straightforward and nonchalant as you expected he would be.

He probably wanted to get this situation out of the way, you infer, pressing random buttons on the water boiler to avoid eye contact. 

The blond is leaning against the counter space next to you, keenly watching your every move. His normally crisp, teal dress shirt has some missed lines, and you wonder if he had been too distracted by you to finish ironing his laundry these past few days.

It was probably best not to entertain that thought.

“No, I haven’t. Just…been busy.” You wince as your mug warms up a little too fast, splashing water on the break room counter as you quickly set it down.

Nanami jolts up and grabs your hand, wiping at it with some paper towels and the severe lines between his eyebrows deepening.

You feel your breath catch at his closeness, and you can’t help but swallow as his familiar cologne floods your senses and he frets over your accidental burn.

He seems to feel your stare, peering up at you with curiosity before you attempt to tug your hand away.

“Don’t.” Nanami breathes, covering your hand with his and effectively preventing you from moving, “Just tell me what’s wrong. I’ll fix it.”

The warmth of your hand simply being held in his seems to travel all the way up to your cheeks and the tips of your ears.

“I don’t know if you can.” You whisper truthfully.

“What is it?” He draws your hand closer, muttering softly under his breath as he examines your palm nested within his larger ones.

You chew on the side of your cheek for a moment, “I’m afraid we’re heading towards…”

Nanami lifts his chin up, meeting your eyes with a question in his gaze that makes you hesitate.

“Something.” You finish lamely, turning your face to the ground.

Nanami pulls both of your hands carefully together in his, encasing them in his firm grip.

“I want to.” He confesses, regarding your expression with quiet consideration, “Don’t you?”

The sentiment is so clear and honest that your heart squeezes.

You shake your head in an attempt to dissuade yourself, but can’t manage to bring yourself to release his hands.

“I can’t-I don’t know you completely yet. What if you break my heart?”

Nanami presses your hands to his heart, and you feel the helplessly erratic rhythm of it between your fingertips as he speaks.

“Then, I’ll give you mine.”

Toji--------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Gotcha.” 

Toji cuts off your escape route, and you let out a huff as you glare up at him.

He’s smoking a thin cigarette, the end of it jauntily balanced between his canines and poking out towards the corner of his mouth.

Your eyes flit to the floor as soon as you catch yourself outlining the scar notched over his lips.

You remember precisely how it feels.

“Leave me alone, Toji.” You mumble, and you hope it sounds more convincing out loud than in your head.

He lets out an exhale of smoke and flicks the cigarette butt onto the ground, “Look doll, I gotta apologize if I did somethin’ stupid the other night.”

You keep your eyes lowered.

“Ah, fuck. I’m sorry. Did I? I didn’t mean to, angel.”

The tone he speaks with isn’t accusatory, just gravelly with uncertainty and the smallest question of hope.

So earnest and kind it makes your heart ache.

His hand reaches towards you, and you immediately duck the pleading touch. 

“Get away from me, Toji.”

As soon as you back away though, the regret rears its head and fills your stomach.

He straightens, hand falling to his side and his broad shoulders heaving downwards. The normally rough and sarcastic man has a faint glisten in his eyes. 

You realize that you’re hurting him.

Finally, Toji rakes a hand through his dark locks as he peers through the strands that fall over his forehead, “You don’t mean that, do you?”

“Of course I don’t!”

You clap a hand over your mouth, and Toji’s widened eyes meet yours. 

That’s when you start running again.

“Hey! Hey!” You hear Toji right on your heels, and then he wraps his arms around you from behind.

The warmth of his chest on your back as you both heave in disjointed breaths forces you to stop.

The bounty hunter loosens his grip, and you stop resisting completely when he rests his cheek against yours.

“Don’t do this to me.”

You tentatively place a hand over one of his own, feeling your heartbeats syncing together, “I don’t want you to hurt me either. If you break my heart, I don’t know if I could take it.”

The dejected confession stills the air, and then to your surprise, Toji starts laughing.

The deep rumble of it tickles your ear, and when it dies down he gently turns you around.

He softly pinches your chin between his fingers, scanning your face with relaxed brows and a lazy grin, looking at you as if he had all the time in the world to do so.

“Darlin', you’re only breaking your own heart that way.”

As you absorb his words, Toji leans down to give your cheek a kiss before tucking a loose tendril of hair behind your ear.

“That should be my job.” He whispers, “Right?”

The tease has you worriedly clutching his hands, and Toji gives you a more tender, sweet kiss on the lips.

“I’m kidding, doll. I know I’m not a good guy, but I’ll take good care of your heart. And the rest of you if you’ll let me.”

Relief sinks into your chest, “Really?”

Toji nods, clusters of stars surrounding the reflection he has of you in his gaze, and this time there’s no doubt in your mind that he is telling the truth.

“I promise.”

________________

End Notes:

this is my welcome back present to u, lovely readers!! xoxo

[spider-shoes-archive]

I offer up the best of my humble harvest, my boy Reign, an incredibly stressed 19 year old

Currently working on a new character sheet for them but I have this.

Now for an info dump from god, I don’t blame you if you don’t read this

Reign is from my story Liar Street, they live in a city called Styre and go to the Styre institute for the gifted. The gifted are people who for one reason or another are able to do things no one else can, these gifts run through family lines and are passed down through genetics, they appeared roughly 8 generations ago and the gift each person in a family has is different but have similarities to each other.

Reign has the ability to gain energy from others by draining it from them, this leaves him with the downside of not gaining as much energy from the typical means of sleeping and eating, his mother has the ability to give others he own energy and hers replenishes normally.

Reign was enrolled in SIG (Styre Institute For The Gifted) at 9 when he knocked out 3 older kids who had cornered him in an alleyway after school so that they could rough him up. They had ended up cutting him across the face when they had just been trying to scare him with the knife. The head of the school had taken notice of this and had Reign enrolled in the Combative track at the institute. They have been learning at the institute ever since. SIG’s Combative track is there to train students to go and retrieve information and perform assassinations in order to keep Styre safe from the ongoing war outside of their blocked off city. Reign is somewhat of SIG’s Golden boy despite not wanting that title, they are incredibly capable, very overworked, and he does his job well. His team, assigned to them by Styre when he was 13, is comprised of his friends who he cares for like family (they are, Niko, Daniel, Riley, and Valentine) at 15 they were given housing at the institute together and sleep there on week nights and any weekends they don’t go home for.

Reign is snarky, stubborn, smart mostly because there is no room to screw up, and incredibly loyal. He loves his friends fiercely and despite being constantly stressed they do their best to be a good friend even though he sometimes slips up and snap at one of them.

Reign is a gymnast and someone who loves boba, and when they aren’t on a mission or training, they are practicing with aerial silks or sitting in the tea shop below their mother’s apartment were he grew up. He loves the summer and warm weather, he cares a lot about his appearance and that lends to their enjoyment of fashion.

Their parents are separated with his father leaving when Reign was 7 due to having a drinking problem and not wanting to burden his family anymore, his father is named Matthew and he has gotten better but occasionally he’ll slip back into old habits when things go bad. His mother is named Emily and she is a Nurse at the hospital, she cares a lot about Reign and is always concerned when he doesn’t come home for the weekend, often times calling the institute to tell his missions coordinator Rodney to stop overworking them, Reign has a close relationship with her and tries to keep her from worrying as much as he can, but it rarely works.

Reign goes through a lot during Liar street and so does the rest of the cast but, this is a pretty good overview of who they are.

me reading all of that

but seriously that is so so cool dude liar street my beloved. you've clearly put so much time into this and i'm really really impressed with how well you've fleshed reign out, if you want to talk more about them or their world (which i am intrigued by!! how does styre work!! whats with the war beyond their walls!!) i would absolutely be down for it. thank you for sharing. the art is fucking incredible btw the colours work so well

[creatureofmystry]

MLB x DC Universe Headcannons

I just love the idea of MLB and DC (expecially Batfam cuz Mari is such a Wayne) being in the same universe and crossing over. So one night, I just had an idea overload of different ways the Marinette would know the batfam/be a part of the DC universe. And if any of my shitty ideas somehow inspire or prompt you, then please be my guest. 😊 _

1) “Ladybugs of Past and Present”

Hippolyta, Wonder Woman’s mother, was once a previous holder of the ladybug miraculous. When Fu activated the miraculous and put them in circulation, Hippolyta could feel its magic waking back up. Knowing there must a reason for it to be out, she sent a message to her daughter. Diana searched, finding Marinette and Adrien as the present holders of the ladybug and cat miraculous. She vouched and brought them into the Young Justice program while they also made their own team, Project: Zodiac (or something like that).

[Sometime when Diana takes Marinette to meet Hippolyta]

“Great Hera, Tikki, you have not aged a day” -Hippolyta, cause she does know how to make joke. 

“And I would say the same to you” -Tikki

“Mother, you can make a laugh?” -Wonder Woman, honestly a bit confused cause her mom have never not been serious before.

And Marinette is just speechless cause she’s starstruck meeting Wonder Woman’s mom AND a previous Ladybug holder.

_

2) “Rockstar Niece”

Jagged Stone is Marinette’s Sweet Uncle J. During the summers, Jagged Stone would take Mari with him on tour. HIs summer tours are throughout America, so Mari gets to sightsee the country. Jagged’s first tour that he gets to take Mari on (5-ish), he’s also booked for the annual (for whatever reason) Wayne Summer Gala. When Marinette meets the Waynes, they are so enamoured (Dick and Tim couldn’t help it) that they tell Jagged he’s always invited as a guest, Mari of course being added to the permanent guest list too. About 6 years later, Mari is practically adopted, spending the first half of her summers with Jagged, going to the Wayne Gala, then spending the rest of her summer with the Waynes. Overtime, she figured out the secrets of the family and was there to welcome Jason back from the dead (when that happens). Anyways, now 11(-ish?) Mari meets Damian and the two become good friends… after an… impressionable first meeting.

“Tch, let me guess, you’re another one of father’s adopted strays” -Dami

“YOU MUST BE DAMIAN!!! DICK TOLD ME ABOUT YOU!!” -Marinette, who just ignores what he said for a hug.

“hiiiiiiiiissssssss” -Dami, touchy with touch

“...” sprays water in his face since he decided to act like a cat.

“I say, Master Bruce, the children are getting along quite well” -Alfred

_

3) “Pen Pals” 

Jon Kent and Marinette Dupain-Cheng are part of an international pen-pal program, starting when they were very young (maybe like 4 or 5-ish, super super young) where they told each other everything (Jon can’t just say that his older bro is a clone made from Superman and Lex Luthor’s DNA, or that his dad is Superman, or that his best friend is Robin, but yea. Lois and Clark probably proofread his stuff until he’s like 9) with pictures and everything. When they’re old enough to get phones & stuff, they call, text and vid-chat along with their letters (love without blood). When Mari is maybe 9-11 (somewhere around there) she starts flying over during the summers to hangout with Jon (and his friends and big brother). While there, she meets Kon, Bat fam, and Clark (some who she already knew, some who she didn’t) & lightly hints that she knows who all they are once she figures it out (it didn’t take her long to do so). 

Now whenever she visits and is at Wayne Manor (Jon likes to have sleepovers practically every weekend) while they’re on patrol, Mari subtly messes with their minds (super subtle, they’re the world’s best detectives after all) until they finally look through the cams and see Mari giving them one of those smiles (those shit-grinning cause it’s just so hilarious how it’s gone on for so long) & and a playful wink. 

[5 seconds later]

“Mari!” “Pixie-pop!” “Angel!” “Teacup!”

“Seriously, am I the only one with a normal nickname for her?” -Tim

“Ms. Marinette would like to inform you that ‘it took you long enough’” -Alfred (who so knows that the girl has been playing them since the third night she stayed at the Wayne’s)

“Where are my adoption papers?” -Bruce (who is seriously adopting any talented black-haired child)

_

4) “Mari and Mar’i” 

When Mar’i is young, Dick and Kori take her with them to see Paris (btw, this would be during the winter). They’re strolling along through a park and lose track of Mar’i who finds Marinette (9-10 ish). Marinette comforts and distracts Mar’i while noticing the young(er) girl is Tameranian (her hair is very warm and she’s wearing significantly less layers than should be worn for a human of that age during the winter, plus that sun-kissed skin tone. She’s seen Kori in her fashion magazines (and, from time to time, on the news as an ambassador) so she easily make the connections). Dick and Kori finally spot Mar’i with Mari who introduces herself to them. Mar’i asks if she can see her “Auntinette” again and Marinette just goes “if your parents are okay with it.” Dick and Kori are totally cool with it (not many are willing to watch her and have the time to do it) so they ask Marinette if she can babysit Mar’i whenever (with good pay of course) if she’s up to it (cause she’s still pretty young). Marinette can’t say no to Mar’i’s babydoll eyes (and she’s so much easier compared to Manon, who’s only 2 rn), so of course, she says yes. 

Now Marinette is Mar’is official babysitter and sees Mar’i often whenever her parents drop her off (using zeta tubes to quickly get to Paris and back). Marinette gets treated like an honorary Wayne (cause she’s the most responsible) and gets invited to their family stuff (w/ travel pay taken care of, of course). It doesn’t take her long to realize the fact that she babysits Bruce Wayne’s & BATMAN’S granddaughter, but of course, being the responsible one she is, keeps the secret… while also playing with them via Mar’i.

[One Day]

After Marinette leaves for her plane…

“Uncle Dami!”

“Yes, Spawn?”

“Auntinette said to tell you after she left that Robin’s sut needs a major upgrade & that you look like a traffic light… whatever that’s supposed to mean.”

[Another Day]

“Uncle Jay!”

“What’s up kid?’

“Auntinette said that to let you know that Red Hood doesn’t make any sense ‘cause Red Hood wears a helmet. Not a hood.”

[The next time]

“Uncle Tim!”

Yawn. “yea?”

“Auntie told me to give you this” (pulls out super caffeinated coffee) “and that Red Robin’s cowl is a menace to all things fashion”

[Again…] 

“Daddy!”

“Yes, Starshine?”

“Auntienette said she’s proud of Nightwing’s costume ‘cause it’s one of the only in the batfam that isn’t an astro-city to the fashion society.”

_

5) “Marinette, the one who’s always getting chosen”

Before Mari became (becomes(?)) LB, she comes across a different powerful piece of jewelry, from a different order of guardians where her will of mind is not only her shield from being akumatized, but it is also what drives her powers. That’s right, Mari walks past a flea market and activates a GL ring. The guardians pick up on this activity and send Hal (it is his sector) to check it out. Hal finds the ring with Mari but it still needs the light of a GL to charge and fully work. 

[During the explanation]

“Look, kid-”

“Marinette.” 

“Look, kid, I just need to know why you have that ring.”

“You think I know? I was just walking through the market and all of a sudden, this possessed ring, if that’s even what this is, started following me, then zipped in front of my face til i held my hand up so it can put itself on my finger.” 

“Kid-”

“It’s MARINETTE. Get it wrong one more time and you’ll see why I don’t need a possessed piece of alien jewelry.” -Marinette, making sure you get her name right. “Besides, if I stole it, I would remember. I’m a klepto” -Marinette, probably holding his ring too at this point.

Hal obviously doesn’t want the wrath of the Dupain-Chengs (just the kid Marinette scares him enough), so he tells the guardians that JL will take care of most of Mari’s training (once they get her a lamp for her ring, of course) & has her take part in training at Mt. Justice with the Young Justice team and special training with the Bats. Mari does all this under the guise of an international student exchange program for Mari to stay with the Waynes (not yet knowing that it’s the bat fam) and attends G.A. Mari doesn’t do much, but it takes her 24-36 hours to know who EVERYONE is.

[the next week after settling in]

“Hey, Mars,” -Dick, in his Nightwing gear

“Hey, Di-is the GREATEST SHOW!” -Mari, changing the subject(… not really)

“How long did it take you?”

“Not as long as the Kryptonians…” -Mari, going off into a tangent (still trying to change the subject”

[When Marinette meets Tikki]

Back in Paris:

“Sooo… I’m getting powerful jewelry that gives me powers and a suit, needs to be recharged, and comes from some Order of the Guardians? What’s the difference between you and my ring?” -Marinette, who at this point is very confused as to why she keeps getting picked on for this kind of stuff. 

“One’s alien, one’s magic” -Tikki, hoping Mari will end it there & lowkey hates that the GL Corp. got to her first.

“They’re both non-human made energy sources” -Mari, cause once you’ve seen it once, you’ve seen it all before. 

“You can’t heal the Akuma without the miraculous, and there are more than just rings. Yours are earrings, there are hair clips, bracelets, necklaces and more” -Tikki, after having a minute to think

“Fine, only because you said they’re the only way to heal the, what was it again, akuma?”

_

6) “Their Unofficial Official Barista”

Part of Tim’s job as Co-CEO, is to make sure all the branches are running smoothly, sometimes that means he has to fly abroad to manually check in. Tim goes to Paris to check on the W.E. Paris branch. He goes to a nearby Patisserie (Tom and Sabine’s) to see a young Marinette (somewhere from 8-11) drawing in her sketchbook at the counter. She explains that her parents are at a catering event, but she’s there to man the little bakery. Tim asks for a super caffeinated coffee and Marinette makes it with ease, claiming it was on the house with how bad he looks (and how much sleep the man clearly needs). Tim begs for her knowledge and asks if she can teach his butler. Mari’s willing to show him the next time he comes, so he gets the whole fam to go (viz tubes so they don’t waste time) maybe a week later. Everyone gets their own drink (plus a free pastries) and Marinette teaches Alfred her coffee, but it’s just not the same so Tim, using the tubes, goes to get coffee from the girl whenever he can. 

Mari is horrible at getting up on time (the life of an insomniac, never getting to sleep even if you want and then barely waking up on time) that she is up super early, makes Tim his coffee (plus a croissant) and tries to go back to sleep (making her inevitably late). Tim would walk up to the pick-up counter where his cup and to-go bag is while Marinette runs out of the house to get to school. Eventually, the rest of the Batfam (as well as the Laegue, TT, and YJ) frequent the place, slowly becoming (Dami too) Mari hides it, but she knew all the batfam the first day they came and she showed Alfred how to make the coffee. When the others start making more regular appearances, she learns the identities of YJ team, WW, GLs, and others. Obviously when LB and CN appear as heroes with HM as their villain, they immediately reach out to help. Because 1. Batfam clearly notices that it’s Mari and they sure as heck won’t let her deal with that by herself, and 2. The JL is worrying too much about their favorite barista (even though she’s not really one), especially with the Gigantitan scare. So, of course LB & CN (can’t make him bad everytime) get inducted into YJ.

[After Ladybug finishes defeating Gigantitan and detransforms] 

“Bean! Are you okay? You’re not hurt, are you?” -Tim, being an even more protective older brother than Dick, which shouldn’t be possible

“Yes, I promise. I’m fine” -Marinette, who just accepts the fact that she’s adopted an older brother (and his famliy)

“Tube over, we’ll have Alfred make sure” -Dick, already pulling out the medical supplies for Alfred.

“I-” 

“You shouldn’t worry your brothers like that, Marinette. Now come over so Alfred can clear you,” -Bruce, who just happens to overhear the conversation

“I’m sorry, Miss Marinette, they are very adamant that you’re in pitch perfect health before going out again,” -Alfred, who’s not actually sorry

“Fine” -Marinette, accepting her fate of her adopted, protective family. 

_

7) “Thicker Than the Blood We’ve Shed”

Why is Marinette so freakishly strong? Because she was trained to be. Before she could even talk, Mari was taught to be an assassin. She and Damian were frenemies, both competing for top spot as best in the League (of Assassins). They often spared together and became rivals who pushed each other (which sounds great in that context if you forget about the fact that they’re killing people and turning it into a competition). When Damian’s care is turned over to Batsy, Mari also comes along for the ride. She implements herself into Dami’s classes at G.A. & watches him from afar. (Damian, not being an idiot, of course knows all this and knows that it’s probably for Mari to give a report to Talia.) When he becomes Robin, Mari obviously knows, but waits to see if anything drastic would happen (his care was given to the Batfam, they had already expected this to happen.) She then heard word of the bounty Talia put on Damian’s head. Marinette knew there wouldn’t be much she could do to help, but she ave Dami a warning about the upcoming situation before fleeing the country. 

From there she got to France, changed her name (it wasn’t originally Marinette, it was Shénqí, chinese for miraculous/magical (or something else if you want)), was adopted by Tom & Sabine, and left her time in the League in the past. When she received Tikki, she didn’t want to be a hero because she didn’t think she deserved it after her up-bringing. Eventually, she did become LB (being a trained assassin does help with lucky charms, considering she was taught how to kill with basically every and anything), and life was good for her. Then Rossi came.

[Gotham field trip]

While at Wayne Tower…

“How idiotic are they?” -Damian, who after reuniting with his long-lost sister-from-a-different-mister (yes, Marinette was able to convince him to say it once), can’t understand the stupidity she has to deal with.

“Are you Robin?” -Mari, who is too tired, so just goes straight into the analogy

“Yes.” -Obvious and simply is.

“Exactly” -Mari, who can’t even put a limit to the amount of thought the one brain cell the class shares doesn’t use. I mean please, the so-called “reporter” believed that the first cosplayer she saw was the actual LB when they don’t even have the same hair! And let’s not forget the origins arc, where LB’s first citizen save was Chloe.

[i-can-even-burn-salad]

Last night it was like 3 am, so I couldn't. Which is bad btw, because now I am dead, but I couldn't avert my eyes from this train wreck 😒 only made it to like 30% tho.

And man, I am torn. Usually, I don't leave negative comments. Recommend the ones I love, ignore the ones I hate, at most bitch in my private discord club of book connoisseurs. But this book pissed me OFF!

Obvious ableism under the cut 🙃

I was looking for a book with a protagonist with cerebral palsy. Which is hard enough already. All you usually find are children's books or books that are listed under the tag for a side char. I found one, and it's a romance. A christmas romance (gagging noise) but ok, I'm not judging that. One person's unnecessary showing and random meandering thoughts is another person's beloved prose, one (aroace 😂) person's unrealistic behavior because they're in looooove is another person's reason to read this.

So the protag is a woman with quadriplegic CP. She walks with crutches and has motor issues as well as speech issues. Sounds not too bad, right? Now I don't have CP, but I raised an eyebrow when she was mentioned to use her computer with eye tracking software. Ok ok perhaps I am wrong but that seems unnecessary complicated for someone who still does most of her own household chores and even some makeup. But whatever. The real issues.

Something something genre expectations. I am not on board with the blanket advice of never having a disabled char talk negatively about themselves or their disability, especially depending on genre (cough whump cough). But this? This is a whole other ballpark. Every few pages, she laments how unlovable she is, how broken her body is, how hard it would be for anyone to build a family with her, up to a self-proclaimed pity party in which she remarked on sometimes wishing the doctors hadn't saved her life at birth.

I've read a lot those past months. I have no doubt that there are people who think that about themselves. I am, however, not sure someone reading a fun christmas romance wants to have it thrown into their face like that. Do they really want her body to be called misshapen in the middle of a make out session?

She was aware that her speech was slurred and accented in a way that made her seem like an imbecile. How could he be happy with that?

thousand yard stare

The moment I started yelling at discord in all-caps btw was when the guy she's in love with invited her to dance, and afterwards she decided to be daring and - ran off with him LEAVING HER CRUTCHES IN THE RESTAURANT. Her only pair of forearm crutches. Without knowing whether her sister would notice and fetch them. To ride a motorcycle (which he remarked on "he couldn't fit the crutches anyway"). And then say good bye to him at the door because she didn't want him to see her having to crawl all the way through her house because SHE CANNOT WALK WITHOUT CRUTCHES. To her spare pair of underarm crutches in the bedroom, which she doesn't like. Which weren't even hers but her sister's from when she broke her leg or whatever. As if you'd need an excuse to have a second pair (she's not lacking money.)

And next day when they were out and about he just TOOK THE CRUTCHES FROM HER to put them back into his truck and helped her walk around town instead, so she doesn't have to be worried people would give her strange looks :) I AM INTERNALLY STILL YELLING. You CANNOT tell me she would just give HER MOBILITY AIDS AWAY LIKE THAT?? HELLO?? What if she needs to pee, will this guy she's been seeing for all of ONE DAY carry her ass into a public toilet?? (Yes yes it's romance toilets don't exist) How is it ROMANTIC to take her independence away because boohoo mobility aid bad let's make you look more NORMAL???

And again, it doesn't feel like I have a "right" to complain, but all of this just feels icky to me. This isn't a book for disabled people. This is a book for abled people to be like "awwwww so inspiring, writing this must have been so hard" and be on their merry way.

This has 88% 4 and 5 star reviews on goodreads, btw.

[ID: An xkcd comic turned into a meme. It shows two stick figures talking. They have been edited to say: Disability representation is second nature to us, so it's easy to forget that the average person probably only knows not to call a char the r word and one or two mobility aids. And daredevil, of course. Of course. Bottom text: Even when theý're trying to compensate for it, experts in anything wildly overestimate the average person's familiarity with their field. End ID]

Would be nice if I could read a good book this year.

[thedeathdeelers]

Okay just because I fucking love your writing unmm something about Julie maybe reflecting on how Luke was brought to her, by the universe or her mom etc, and just fucking soulmate fluff. I loved your religion drabble btw!!

thank you so much!!!🥰

sorry for the delay :$ but i hope you like it!! (ps it turned out to be way longer than i anticipated, so, ya)

pps: you can now find this on my AO3 🤗

——

i think i dreamed you into life

   It was a Julie & Luke writing session, just like any other. They were sat, hunched over their shared journal on the faded black couch, too absorbed by the words and notes scribbled on the pages in front of them to pay any attention to anything else.

   Julie had just had an epiphany, finally finding the right words to lead them into the chorus following the first verse. With a stiff neck and a cramping hand, Julie stretched her arms over her head, sitting up for a second before collapsing back onto the back cushions of the couch. She heaved a large sigh, looking around and only just registering the low setting sun. They had somehow managed to lose track of time, again, spending well over what she assumed was 4 hours working on this one song. She shook her head, a small smile on her lips as she looked back at her writing partner, still fully focused on the journal in his lap.

   They were so alike sometimes, it scared her a little. How could they be so perfect for each other when they were never meant to meet? Cross paths? She often found herself wondering about the way they were brought together, the reasons they were in each others’ lives. But then as soon as her mind wandered towards the mysteries of the universe and its guiding powers, she always ended up spiraling - no matter how she looked at it, Luke and her were somehow meant to be. Fated. Star crossed....whatever.

   Her train of thought would always start off innocently enough - she was part of a ghost band. She could see ghosts (well three particular ghosts, at least) - the only lifer who could without Caleb’s help (as far as Willie could tell). She had never really been one to believe in the supernatural, but she was now so intrinsically involved, that she frequently wondered whether everything about her life wasn’t just a dream. Maybe after years & years of practice, she had managed to hone in her daydreaming skills to a point that allowed her to create a world that sounded a little too much like she was the protagonist in a movie or a show. This couldn’t actually be real life, could it? Her life?

   The couch shifted, Luke reaching over to grab his guitar, testing out a line before placing his guitar back on the ground, and crossing out a whole section. No, she doesn’t think her mind could have ever managed to dream up Luke.

Don’t get her wrong, there were definitely moments where Julie felt just as normal as she used to. She’d forget that the boys were anything other than her lovable, goofy bandmates. Normal teenage boys, messing around and playing music in her mom’s studio. But then she would look up and see bright hazel eyes staring back at her, and she‘d unexpectedly be hit again by the storm of emotions that washed over her the first time she had accidentally walked through Luke. It was like nothing she had ever experienced before. She had felt cold, then warm, and then this peculiar feeling of being....whole. Like she had just come home after a long tiring trip. She couldn’t describe it properly even if she tried, but the only thing that came close to summing it up was home.

Julie closed her eyes, trying to recreate the feeling, bringing it back up to the surface.

Her logical side knew soulmates was just a term used to romanticise romance, she knows that, but whenever she remembers that feeling, just like she is now, she wonders whether she had somehow felt his soul in that kitchen - sneaked a peek before latching onto it. These thoughts made it harder to hold onto logic.

Ugh, she was spiralling again. Julie lifted her hands to her face, rubbing furiously at her eyes, trying to dislodge some of the thoughts clouding her mind. She could feel a headache coming on, and that was the last thing she needed right now. She rolled her head back, resting against the old cushions, and looked at the floating chairs on the ceiling.

Her mother. Didn’t her mother always tell her that there was more to the world than meets the eye? That it wasn’t always wise to think only with one’s mind, but to trust your gut, your heart?

It used to be comments like those that led Julie to believe that her mother was more than just her mother. Could Rose have been an angel in disguise all along? Fate, Love, personified? Julie would be lying to herself if she said she had never thought about her mother being the key instigator behind the boys’ presence in her life. She just somehow knew that Rose had handpicked these boys, and sent them to her. Sent Luke to her. She had known that Julie would need divine intervention to pull herself out of her slump, and who better to do that than the one person, the one soul in the universe that perfectly aligned with hers?

Julie rolled her head to the side once more, staring at Luke’s profile, his brows drawn, deep in thought. If he hadn’t died all those years ago, if he hadn’t eaten that unfortunate hotdog, this never would have been possible - they never would have met. Julie shuddered at the thought, her heart and soul aching in protest.

A connection of heart, mind and soul, her mother had told her. “They really do exist, mija” she‘d say, but Julie would only smile and nod, never truly believing that soulmates were real, that they were part of the universe’s grand design. But now-

Oh. Soulmates.

“Did you say something?”

Startled, Julie blinked herself out of her daze, realising too late that she was thinking out loud.

“N- no, no, nothing. Just uh- just thinking of the next verse, you know,” she chuckled awkwardly, avoiding Luke as she tried not to fidget. “Always working!” She pointed to her temple, immediately regretting the movement, cringing at her awful attempt at a cover up.

She could feel Luke’s unwavering gaze, focused on her as he sat up, pushing the journal onto the seat next to him. He shifted, turning towards her, even as she continued to face forward. Her cheeks were definitely getting warmer. Not good.

“Did you-��� she saw him tilt his head to the side from the corner of her eye, “did you just say Soulmates?”

A lie was on the tip of her tongue, ready to burst, but as she reflexively slid her eyes to meet his, the words died out before they could be vocalised.

He was looking at her with a peculiar look in his eyes, a slightly awed expression etched on his face.

“I- I was just thinking...” She stuttered, unable to take her eyes off of Luke’s, even as her fingers fiddled with the loose threads of her jumper.

“About?”

“You know,” she lifted her hands, gesturing at the space around them, trying to be as vague as possible. “Life.”

Eyebrows shot up, disappearing under his orange beanie.

“Life? Really?”

“Yes. Life. Just..you know, how things change. Like the way you grow up thinking one thing but then something happens and it completely changes the way you see the world around you, the way your beliefs...shift.” She shrugged, trying and failing to seem nonchalant.

“Hm, deep thoughts for a Saturday afternoon.” He studied her for a second, before cocking his head to the side. “Any reason this led to the conclusion of Soulmates?”

Julie shifted uncomfortably, trying hard not to look away even as she felt her cheeks somehow growing even warmer.

“I...I was just thinking about my mom. And things she used to talk about and believe in with a certainty that always...confused me I guess. How could she believe in something so easily, when she couldn’t even see it? Feel it?” Julie diverted her gaze, choosing to look at her mom’s piano instead. Her voice took on a quieter tone, almost reflective as she continued with her new train of thought. “What if she wanted me to believe again? What if she had somehow found a way to not only get music back into my life, but to believe in love and fate and-“ Julie stopped short, her eyes darting back to Luke - his face was now frozen, showing her nothing of what he might be feeling.

Julie suddenly felt very silly.

“Never mind,” she laughed awkwardly, trying to play it off as just silly musings. “My mind was just wandering, but now I’m back and maybe we should just get back to that second verse...” Her voice trailed off, Luke’s face still giving nothing away.

Crap. She just made it weird - this is what she gets for letting her mind go down the rabbit hole that is the universe and its misguided mysteries. Way to go, Julie.

   Just as she was about to jump up and flee to her bedroom, hoping that maybe her floor would do her the courtesy of swallowing her up, Julie felt the couch dip further down to her right, Luke’s knee pressing up against her thigh. Resisting the urge to look at him, her eyes flickered to her fingers, to their journal and then back to her mom’s piano.

   “You know,” Luke spoke up, voice soft, almost a whisper, “I never gave fate much thought back when I was alive. I always figured a person forged their own fate by believing hard enough in what they wanted and then working even harder to get there.” He reached over, grabbing hold of her right hand, ceasing the fidgeting motions of her fingers. “Even when it came to my soul, I only ever considered it when thinking about music and the power it had over me and my life. If music was so important, wouldn’t it mean my soul was constantly connected to it? My instrument, an intrinsic part of who I am?”

   He went quiet for a few seconds, prompting Julie to turn her head back towards him, as his calloused thumb started rubbing gently against her knuckles. His gaze, which had been glued to her face the entire time, was now locked on their hands.

“So I always figured I was “fated”, I guess you could say, to follow that connection I had with music, and just see where that took me.” His fingers were now tracing little circles on the back of her hand. “But then we died, and became ghosts, and it changed the way I think about things, but at the same, my core beliefs remained the same. I’m still not sure about fate, and the role it plays in how things are dictated in my life, but I know that music is still such a major part of me. Because, I mean, if that wasn’t the case, how could you have possibly pulled me back from the dead and down to earth by playing our song? How could you, a lifer 25 years after I died, have been the one to pull me back, and make me feel alive again?” He shook his head before he continued. “And every time I ask myself these questions I just come back to the same conclusion,” he stops for a second, lifting his eyes back up to hers. “You embody music to me. You, Julie, have always been what my soul was connected to - not my guitar, not just music in general - but you, my own personal musical goddess.” His lips tilted up at the corners at his last words, his eyes boring into hers.

   “So yeah, I know what you mean about not necessarily wanting to believe in something unless you can see it or feel it. But at this stage, how could I not believe in soulmates when you’re right here, somehow a part of my life, 25 years after I’ve died?” He shook his head again, his smile getting a little sad. “We technically never should have met, would have never crossed paths, but fate....fate had other plans for us I guess. Our souls just couldn’t bare being separated, and the universe just....found a way to rectify that.” 

   Julie could do nothing but stare at the beautiful boy in front of her, her mind trying to process the prose he just recited to her. Almost as if by reflex, Julie slowly lifted her hands up, cupping his face and held onto him like he was the most precious thing in the entire world - because he was.

Luke mirrored her actions, his eyes soft, as his fingers traced her cheeks, wiping away tears she didn’t even know were there.

And just as she was about to let loose the words that had been rattling around in her mind ever since he had stumbled into her life, Luke beat her to it.

“I think we might be soulmates, Jules.”

FIN

[dameronology]

a good jedi {obi-wan x reader}

summary: obi-wan kenobi always knows what to say, and he's always right - most the time, it's pretty annoying, but when you need advice? you're in luck. (this is platonic obi-wan x padawan! reader btw! for @raeshin -- i hope you enjoy!)

warnings: it probably has language in it somewhere? at this point i don't even know when i do and don't swear.

enjoy!! if you'd like to read more about commissioning a fic, the faqs are here :)

- jazz xx

The Jedi Temple had been scary at first.

With it's high walls and long, tangled history, you felt the pressure of being a warrior weigh on your shoulders almost the minute you set foot in the grand corridors. You'd been just a kid at the time - wide eyed and filled with some kind of weird, naive hope - but in your few, short years in the galaxy, you had heard more than enough about the Jedi. Who they were, and what they stood for; the adventures they went on and the way they brought balance to the Galaxy. The connection you felt to them had never seemed to be anything more than a youthful obsession with a world you wanted to be a part of.

Then, not long after your sixth birthday, things began to make sense. A mysterious man in a cloak paid your home planet a visit -- for you. Your interest in the Jedi hadn't been coincidental. Not in the slightest. Your connection to the Force was almost overwhelming, and it was something that Obi-Wan Kenobi could sense the minute he met you for the first time. For a young kid who had been torn away from their family and had the trajectory of their life changed entirely, your upbeat approach to the change of circumstance was pleasantly...surprising. It was clear from the get-go that you had a thirst for adventure, and a strong sense to do the right thing. Two things that, arguably, would have made you the perfect Jedi.

Obi-Wan was a good example of one; he was calm under pressure, patient as a mentor and things were never boring. It didn't take long for him to become like an older brother to you, and for that, you were grateful. There were other Padawans who hadn't been as lucky -- their mentors were either obsessed with the rules, or they were more preoccupied by their outstanding missions and meetings with the Council. Obi-Wan had always made you his main priority, focusing on your training and making sure that you didn't make the same mistakes as him (but let's face it -- were there many?).

Perhaps, it was that idolisation that had lead you to become scared of opening up to him about your own fears. Of course, he would never judge you, but the irrational, anxiety-induced voice in your head didn't know any better. You were terrified of letting him down, and even more fearful that he might lose faith in you for having doubts. Doubts in yourself, doubts in the Jedi, doubts in everything they stood for. What kind of warrior questioned their dedication and the morals of the order to which they were seemingly destined to be a part of? A bad one - or so you told yourself.

It had been easy to push them down at first; to brush aside your worries and tell yourself you were being silly. But, what had started as a little voice in the back of your head soon became a loud, all-consuming bellow. It was hard to ignore, especially now that Obi-Wan had thrown around the idea of beginning practice for your trials. You were no longer a child anymore, but a young adult. It was time for you to start moving up in the world, and in the Jedi Order, and that would mean reaffirming your commitment to them. You'd near enough dedicated two decades of your life to the cause, but it was only now that the doubt was truly starting to plague you.

It was becoming harder to hide it from Obi-Wan. Not only was he extremely intuitive and pragmatic in himself, but the Force connection that your Jedi-mentor relationship had provided you with made it even harder to kick your emotions under the fridge like ice and pretend they weren't there. Even when you gave him your best fake smile and promised you were excited for what was to come, he saw right through it. Your thinly-veiled emotions were no match for a man who could read you like a book.

"We have to report the council." Obi-Wan said. He stepped aside, allowing you to exit the ship with him in tow. "It might be useful for you to deliver the mission report. Good practice for when you're out there on your own-"

"- master, we haven't even got a date for when I'll be doing the trials." You cut him off. The Temple wasn't too far of a walk, but it took you through the gardens. "I'd rather not get ahead of myself."

"It's always better to be a few steps ahead then a few steps behind." He shot back.

"Yeah, I suppose." You muttered. "I think I'm where I need to be right now. Not ahead, nor behind."

He thinned his eyes at you. "If you're sure."

"Very." You forced a smile. "Besides, I'm tired out. It's been a long few days."

"I find myself doubting the sincerity of your statement given that you threatened Anakin over a game of holochess just mere seconds ago-"

"- he was cheating!" You exclaimed. "But really, master, I am shattered. I'd be grateful if you'd let me retire for the night, unless you're really that desperate for my presence in front of the council."

"Very well." Obi-Wan nodded. "Get some rest. I'll see you in the morning for training?"

You stopped in your tracks, just in front of the corridor that lead to your chambers. Normally, you were pretty good at coming up with excuses - now, your ability had failed you entirely. It wasn't that you didn't want to wake up early and train, but rather that you were so caught up in your own concerns and doubts that it would affect your ability to fight at all. And, with all due respect to Obi-Wan, the last thing you needed was to be thrown half-way across the room at 5AM on a Saturday morning during combat training.

"I'm not sure," you nervously shuffled from one foot to another. "I might skip training tomorrow and focus on my readings."

Obi-Wan folded his arms across his chest. "Something is going on with you."

"There isn't." You tried to sound confident in your words. "I'm just-"

"- tired?" He raised an eyebrow. "Have you been getting enough sleep lately?"

"Of course." You replied quickly- perhaps a bit too quickly.

"Hmm." Obi-Wan clearly wasn't taking your bullshit. "You know that you've been my Padawan for the better part of twenty years, don't you?"

"Right."

"I can tell when you're lying." He continued. "We'll finish it here tonight but I'm not done with this conversation."

"There's nothing to talk about." You coldly said. "Good night, Master."

Obi-Wan sighed, blue eyes flittering to the floor. "Good night."

--

True to your word, you slept through training the next day. You didn't even bother setting an alarm, instead choosing to snooze right through til late morning. It was a much-needed lie in -- between your missions, your late-night stressing sessions and constantly running away from the subject of your trials, you were shattered. The sleep had been good, but it didn't much when it was your soul that was tired.

You found yourself in the Temple gardens not long after you woke up. They were the most peaceful place in the entire building -- fields of fresh, green grass, and tangles of unkempt plants that stretched out as far as you could see. The late-morning sun was hanging high in the sky, casting a golden glow on your skin as you slowly wandered down the path. There were a few other people sat on the lawns, either meditating or reading a book. Instead of doing either, you simply meandered. It was hard to remember the last time you weren't doing something...Jedi-ish.

"That isn't reading."

You froze at the sound of your Master's voice -- he was sat on one of the benches, lunch laid out beside him. Knowing Obi-Wan, he'd probably risen at 4AM and done ten times as much in his waking hours than everyone else in the Temple had done in a week. He was always on the go, always dedicating himself to something. Sometimes, he took you along for the ride.

"I was taking a walk." You shot back.

"I can see that." Obi-Wan said. He tossed his sandwich into the bin and stood up, dusting off his trousers. "Let's walk and talk."

"Master, I'm going to be honest with you, I really wanted this time for myself." You explained. "And with all due respect, most of the Padawans out here are alone, and not with their masters-"

"- so you're too cool to be seen in public with me now?" He raised an eyebrow. "I can sense your anxiety and I think it would be good for us to get to the bottom of it."

You sighed to yourself -- the gig was up. But, to give credit where credit was due, you had been able to hide your woes from him for the better part of six months. You could feel your heart-rate picking up in your chest at the thought of coming clean. What if he was disappointed in you? Or worst, insulted that you were worrying about the Order he had sworn his life to?

Obi-Wan placed his hand on the small of your back, forcing you to start walking beside him, through the gardens and towards the temple. So much for a peaceful morning.

"Talk to me." He said. "What's troubling you?"

"I..." you let your eyes fall to the floor. "Look, if I tell you, can you promise me one thing?"

"Of course."

"That you won't be disappointed in me?"

"I could never be disappointed in you." Obi-Wan replied. "If you've made a mistake, it's fine. How else are we supposed to learn?"

"It's not so much a mistake, so much it is a feeling." You began. "I've dedicated most of my life to this Order, and the things it stands for, and by the looks of it, the rest of my life will be too. That was amazing when I was a kid, and not entirely capable of thinking for myself. Now I can, and I find myself full of...doubt."

"Right," He pondered on your words for a moment. "Doubt about what, exactly?"

"The Order." You replied. "There are so many rules to follow, and so many codes. It's been okay up until now but what if one day, I find myself wanting to make a decision that goes against it? Or making a choice that I think to be correct, but the Council see as wrong?"

Obi-Wan was quiet for a moment. He felt your words in his core -- he'd had his moments like that too. Many, many moments of doubt, sprinkled throughout the last three decades. But, just a few was plenty enough for him to remember - the hesitation, the worry, the endless thoughts of leaving and breaking free plaguing in his mind. There had been so much loss; so much grief and hurt that had pushed him to the edge. Qui-Gonn, Satine, members of the 501st who had fallen victim to the ongoing Clone Wars. There were days where he came closer and closer to his breaking point - in the same way there were days that it felt like it was inching further away. Like the day that the two of you went to Corellia, and he saw you hold your own in battle for the first time, or the day that he managed to get himself kidnapped, and you and Anakin came to rescue him and make a joke out of it. It was the days like that which he'd clung onto so tightly.

You never would have known, not from his outward appearance. From where you were standing, Obi-Wan Kenobi was calm and collected. He always stood his ground and did the right thing, and aside from a few grey hairs that had cropped up in his otherwise-strawberry-blonde hair, you never would have known the losses he had faced. The sacrifices he had made.

And it broke his heart that you feeling that same misgivings and apprehensions that he had.

"Master, you've been quiet for a really long time." You murmured. "Maybe I should just forget it, pretend I didn't say anything-"

"- Not every decision that I've made has been in line with what a good Jedi is." Obi-Wan cut you off. "But you don't need to worry, I can assure you of that much."

You peered up at him. "What do you mean?"

"You might not always be a good Jedi, but you'll always do the right thing." He explained.

"You think so?"

"I know so." He replied. "I see it in you. Whatever way you interpret the Jedi Code, you needn't worry, because you can't be a good Jedi until when, stripped back to the very core of your humanity, you're a good person. And you are, undoubtedly so."

You smiled. "Thank you."

"There are going to be times when you doubt everything you stand for, and everything you dedicate your life to." Obi-Wan continued. "And when I find myself doing that, I look at it from a different angle. The be-all-and-end-all of what we do is to help and protect others, whether that's under the guise of the Jedi, or as a civilian. That's what matters."

"That makes sense." You nodded. "Thank you for listening. I was worried you were going to be disappointed in me."

"I've been disappointed with the Jedi Order itself hundreds of more times than I've been disappointed with you." He said. "Your ability to question authority when necessary is going to get you far. It's better to be overly cautious than overly naive."

"Does that apply to your authority too?" You grinned.

"If need be - but I like to think I'm a pretty relaxed master." Obi-Wan replied. "I could be a lot harder on you. Especially on mornings when you lie to me and sleep in."

You groaned. "It won't happen again. I can assure you that your current methods of teaching are more than sufficient."

"Sufficient enough that you're ready for the trials?"

"Maybe." You cautiously said. "I suppose we could at least talk to the council about it."

"Thank you." Obi-Wan grinned. "Then you can finally get rid of me."

"I could never." You shot back.

[makeste]

more about bak-u-go (sorry!) the only other thing i heavily dislike is that if bakugou is the 2nd, then deku will be unlocking his explosion, except much stronger because OFA boots the quirks. and i really don't want to see bakugou facing deku with OFA, multiple quirks and his own but amplified. i'm not sure how it'd fit thematically but just thinking about it leaves bitter aftertaste in my mouth. he'd essentially be teaching deku to use what he has but more powerful.

honestly if the Second Vestige is Kacchan (or any version of him), I half expect them to get into a huge argument over whether or not Deku is allowed to use his quirk before they’ve said more than twenty words to each other sob.

truthfully, the idea of Deku getting Explosion as one of his SIXQUIRKS doesn’t bother me as much as I know it does some others. not to say I don’t understand the concerns, but imo it wouldn’t be the devastating blow to Bakugou’s dignity/relevance/projected character arc that some worry it might be.

first of all, Deku basically looks like this right now.

dude’s got no arms. he lost his arms in the war. everyone told him, “Deku, promise us you won’t use your quirk in your arms anymore, or else you will have no arms,” and he was all, “I promise,” and then he fucking used his arms anyway because DEKU IS A GREAT BIG LIAR. I lost track of how many times he used 100% OFA on both of his arms during the fight with Tomura. but I’m pretty sure it was multiple times. and so he has definitely undoubtedly fucked them up in some spectacular way, the full extent of which has yet to be revealed.

meanwhile, getting back to Explosion. just a normal, non-powered-up version of Kacchan’s quirk did this to Deku’s arm on a good day.

pretty sure that “pop” indicates he dislocated it just from firing one blast. and this was (1) while using Kacchan’s gauntlet (which is supposed to make it easier to use the quirk), (2) back in the good old days before Deku had fucked up his arms in any way, and (3) the regular version of Explosion and not a supercharged version that’s been powered up with eight generations of OFA Quirk Singularity.

what I’m saying is that even if Deku does have Explosion, I’m not at all convinced he’s even going to be able to use it. Kacchan has had years to train his body to handle the specific recoil. and his arms are fine, and he’s not using the Nuclear Version that Deku most likely would have. as far as I can see, there is no way Deku would be able to handle the quirk at all. it would wind up being a last resort kind of thing that he can maybe handle one time before it puts him totally out of commission.

so that’s the main reason I’m not too concerned. the rest can be summed up as bullet points (I was originally going to say “summed up more briefly”, but as it turns out that was a fucking lie, sob).

I think Deku would probably hesitate to use the quirk even if he was capable, because it would feel like stealing from Kacchan, or something. Deku knows how much pride Kacchan takes in his quirk. and he values their friendship too much to risk making Kacchan upset over this. he might feel like it’s unfair, the same way a lot of fans do (because let’s not forget that Deku is one of the biggest Kacchan stans of all).

I also think Kacchan wouldn’t be as offended or emotionally distraught over his development as people might expect. once he gets over the shock, he might be a little indignant at first, but if Deku hinted that he wasn’t going to use the quirk out of respect for Kacchan’s feelings, I think Kacchan’s first reaction would be to get angry, lol. huh?! what do you mean you’re not going to use it?? what’s wrong with it?! you think you’re so high and mighty that you’re above my quirk?! and we also know he wants Deku to be as strong as possible. I honestly think he would be one of the biggest supporters of Deku using it. his ego isn’t as fragile these days as people think. plus, as far as he’s concerned, there’s nothing that can stop him from reaching his goal of number one. if Deku can use his quirk now, then Kacchan is simply going to have to use it even better.

I generally don’t interpret characters as being pointless or redundant just because someone else has a similar quirk as them. Shouto’s existence hasn’t made Endeavor redundant in any kind of way, or vice-versa. Kirishima and Tetsutetsu are so similar that it’s a running joke, and yet both of them have received plenty of screentime and development (which is especially impressive for poor Tetsu given that he’s not even in 1-A). and Kacchan in particular is one of the most richly developed characters in the entire series, with narrative importance that goes WAY beyond him happening to have a powerful quirk. which btw doesn’t suddenly get any less powerful or versatile just because someone else has it too. and even if Deku was somehow able to use Explosion without blowing his arms to kingdom come, I doubt he’d ever come halfway close to matching the natural, instinctive control that Kacchan has from having had the quirk his entire life. multiple characters have remarked on Kacchan having masterful, exceptional control of his quirk. I think you could make the argument that he’s similar to Best Jeanist in that his quirk, while powerful, wouldn’t be half as impressive in anyone else’s hands. he’s basically a prodigy, and I don’t think even Deku could ever beat him in that regard.

and last but not least, there’s a school of thought that the series will end with Deku losing his quirk, which I think is very possible. having the series end with both AFO and OFA being destroyed forever feels like a fitting end to the story for me, and of course would tie in with Deku being the last user of OFA, one way or the other. and if this does happen, it would obviously render moot the whole matter of him having Kacchan’s quirk.

so yeah, all in all I’m not worried about this at all. my best guess would be Deku using it in the final battle (which Kacchan will no doubt also play a pivotal role in, so that doesn’t bother me), but not really beyond that. as far as I can see, Horikoshi has already done an excellent job of nerfing this in advance. speaking of which, I really am curious about what the heck is going to happen to Deku’s poor arms. all of his doctors deserve a raise.

[peppersonironi]

How I Picture a Batfam Age Reversal

I’m going to write this as a fic (And I want to go on into a young justice world where dick forms the team and his siblings are protective) but here is the outline in bullet points in case anyone is interested. Please note this is VERY first draft.

Ages (At end) & Order:

Damian- 24

Duke- 21

Stephanie- 20

Tim- 21

Cassandra- 19

Jason- 19

Barbara- 15

Dick- 13

Damian is Ten when he is sent to live w/ his father. Bruce is 30.

They don’t really work well together at first. But Selina, Alfred, and Clark somehow get it through Bruce’s thick skull that he has to care for this child.

Damian keeps sneaking out on patrol, against B’s wishes. Eventually, he let’s Damian join and tells him to choose a name (Not what we meant, Bruce!)

Damian wants to go for something like Shadow, or Demon, but Bruce puts his foot down. He says that Damian shouldn’t try to be darkness.

Damian is pouting in the gardens when he finds a wounded robin. It’s wing is broken. He demands that the animal should be taken to a shelter, and carries it in his hand the whole way there.

The bird makes it, and Damian demands to be called Robin. He designs his suit, going slightly more colorful. “I might be called Robin, but I am NOT wearing brown, Pennyworth.”

Bruce introduces him to Superboy (Jon, note: less age dif) and the pair are close friends.

He is Robin for a little over seven years before he begins to fight with Bruce about being allowed to patrol alone, and being his own hero. (basically what happened w/ Dick).

Damian leaves Gotham, opting to claim Bludhaven. Jon joins him. He suggests they call each other Nightwing and Flamebird. Damian thinks it’s a bit childish, but he can’t say no to Jon. They’re costumes are here. (done by @hyperactive-lectiophile! Fantastic job!)

They eventually realize they’re in love w/ each other, all while trying to figure their lives  out. Damian briefly tries to join the police. He hates it. Eventually, he enrolls in BH college for a major in Art and a minor in business.

Later in Gotham, the We Are Robin/Robin War stuff happens. Long story short, Duke is adopted. 

Damian is angry to find out he has a new brother, goes to Gotham to yell at Bruce, but then meets Duke. They bond, and are close siblings. Damian makes his father promise to not adopt any more strays.

Stephanie Brown wants to stop her Father, so she sews up a costume and goes out as Batgirl. Bruce is apprehensive at first, but his family basically yells at him to train the poor girl before she gets hurt.

He does, and after Steph meets Damian, who she absolutely adores (He loves her too. The way she pisses his father off is legendary), Stephanie decides she wants to be Robin. Batgirl was good for dealing with her father, but she wants to belong to this new family, and, w/ Damian’s blessing, she makes a new costume.

Unfortunately, after a while, Stephanie is killed by Black Mask (her death is faked, like in the comics, but the Fam doesn’t know)

Enter Tim Drake. Batman has been going crazy over grief, and not even Nightwing, Catwoman (this is SOOOO batcat, btw) or The Signal can calm him down. Tim steps right up, and demands to be robin.

Damian and Bruce fight over this. Surprisingly, Damian is the one who thinks Tim should be given a chance. He sees how his father has been acting. Damian knows that Tim must be brilliant to figure out their identities, and thinks that should count for something. Duke takes his side, knowing that it takes guts to talk to batman, and be willing to join him. Bruce, meanwhile, is a constant chant of “no more dead robins”. After a while, and lots of arguing, Tim takes his place as Robin. They redesign the suit, and he takes his place as robin.

It’s little while after this that Stephanie comes back. Tim offers Robin back, but Stephanie declines. They talk and grow closer. At one point they talk about Stephanie’s new moniker. She says she doesn’t want to be Batgirl either. She wants something new. Tim suggests Spoiler (Bad pun turned brilliant idea?).

Cassandra Cain arrives on the scene next. She saves the commissioner’s life (like No Man’s Land, minus No Man’s Land), and Stephanie immediately imprints on this tiny assassin child (So do the rest of the family, but Steph claims the fourteen-year old first. She and Bruce fight over custody.). She offers Cass Batgirl. Gotham gained a new vigilante, and Bruce Wayne adopted a new child. (Faster than the comics, I KNOW. But Cass deserves happiness)

Everyone loves their new sister, and everyone spoils her. Duke is the one to take her to a ballet the first time. She immediately begs to be put into lessons.

Somewhere in here Tim’s mom dies and his dad is in a coma. Bruce takes him in.

Eventually, Bruce decides to offer Tim Red Robin, hoping to avoid the strife he had with Damian. (Like in the comics, Bruce was going to give Jason Red Robin)

Tim is unsure of this, and puts off deciding. Then little Jason Peter Todd decides to jack the tires of the batmobile and is immediately taken in.

Everyone is captivated by the tiniest addition to their family, but it's also at this time that Jack Drake finds out about Robin and forces Tim to quit. Tim gives Jason his blessing to become Robin.

Everyone pitches in on helping train the newest Robin. Damian teaches the kid things he learned from the league (non-lethal things, since Damian loves this kid), Duke teaches him escrima fighting, Stephanie (Much to Bruce’s dismay) has a full seminar of the delicacies of glitter bomb making. Tim teaches the kid hacking, when he can get away from his dad. 

Unfortunately, when Jason has been Robin for almost a year, he is killed by the Joker.

The family is torn apart by greif. But this time around, Bruce has a much larger support system. All of them lean on each other.

The only time that Damian ever broke his no-kill rule while living with his father was to kill the Joker. He hunted and murdered the clown, sparing Harley. He had been friends with Quinzel since he was Robin, and knew how the Joker treated her. Harley became the batfam’s honorary aunt after this.

Bruce was too emotionally tired to fight with Damian over his actions, so no one said anything. Eventually, Bruce and Damian did argue. Damian refused to apologize,, though he did promise his father to never kill again. Their relationship was strained for a while, but they worked through it.

Less than a year later, Jack Drake dies, and Tim comes back onto the vigilante scene. He refuses to become Robin, however, choosing to take Bruce up on his offer and become Red Robin. He designs his own suit, and the world seems to slowly become normal. Or some semblance of it.

One night, the circus is in town and the whole family (except Alfred) is home. Duke, Tim, and Steph drag Bruce, Cass, and Damian to go see it.

It is on this night that Dick Grayson’s parents fall to their death. Dick is sent to live in juvi, meanwhile Bruce tries to adopt Dick. He succeeds, and the manor once again has a bright young child running through it’s halls.

Dick figures out the secret identities of his family and instantly demands to be allowed out. He wants to take down Zucko, and won’t settle for every single member hunting for him. Dick wants to take down his parent’s murdered himself. He tries to sneak out multiple times, but is always stopped.

Damian talks to Dick (They are extremely close) and explains the origins of Robin. He says that the mantle was born out of a want to distance himself from the revenge and violence of the league. Dick cries when he learns this and says that his own parents used to call him Robin. He suggests that the mantle is more than a personal need. Robin is Family.

Damian almost immediately demands that Dick be trained and help catch Zucko. Bruce is confused, as before, Damian was strongly against letting a nine-year-old fight crime. Damian explains (after much cajoling. He might be more emotionally open and healthy than when he first arrived in the manor, but the kid is still constipated) what Dick had said, and that Damian understands the kid’s need for direction. “When I first came here, I needed Robin. I might not have known it, but I did. Richard needs Robin now, as well.”

The family took sides on the issue, but eventually Dick (with the aid of his puppy-dog-eyes™) won everyone over. He got his own Robin costume, and they caught Zucko.

Dick refused to stop being Robin, and so Gotham gained a new bird.

Dick was Robin for almost two years when The Red Hood made his appearance in Gotham. No one knew what he wanted, as he didn’t seem to do much beyond killing criminals. They thought he was a vigilante at first, but then he began to take over the criminal underbelly of Gotham, regulating crime. On top of that, Red Hood targeted Robin. Attacking the boy wonder when no one else was around. After the red helmeted rogue let loose a few hints about the league of shadows, Damian interrogated his mother, who explained the identity of The Red Hood, and how she had set him on Gotham.

As soon as the family figured out the newcomer’s identity, and the reason he was alive Damian tracked him down. He knew how to deal with pit rage from his childhood, and brought the lost bird back to the nest.

The family was whole for the first time in years. Jason was still angry and resentful, but he had his family back. Jason was grateful for Damian taking revenge for him, and they were once again close. 

Slowly, Jason let everyone back in, including Bruce. Dick is wary at first of this new older brother, but the little chicken nugget quickly warms up to Jason, and even convinces him to teach him how to shoot a gun (In secret, of course, Dami and Bruce would blow a gasket). Jason couldn’t resist the kid. It was physically impossible.

A year later, Cass decides to pursue dance as her career. She gets a job with the Hong Kong Ballet company. She moves there, and decides to take a new moniker: Black Bat. Her family is so proud of her, but they miss her dearly. Duke visits often, bringing new back to the family.

The absence of Batgirl is filled after a while by Barbara Gordan. She makes her own costume and starts going out. Once again, Stephanie Brown adopts a smol bean (Well, not legally. The commissioner is still alive) and outfits her with a more Gotham-friendly suit and weaponry (I.e. heavy kevlar and leather)

Babs is taken whole-heartedly into the fold, and is made an honorary sister.

[bowieandqueen11]

Remember When / Hargreeves Imagine

Request: Love ur writing btw!! I have a Great idea for a Diego fic! Can u do his siblings somehow finding tapes/videos from the mental asylum Diego was in and seeing how badly he was tortured and abused. Then he has a panic attack or something at the end and they comfort him. 

I-ugh anon omg - my heart <3

Warning, some strong language, and also some descriptions of abuse, so please don’t read if it will make you uncomfortable!

Comments and reblogs are so so so appreciated, as this took me honestly way to long XD! Thank you!!

‘Way to go. Real Team Zero back there.’

‘Diego, we’ve already been through this. Dad’s a stubborn prick, as he has been, all our sad lives, yada yada, we’re sorry, okay? We should have known he’d still be the same condescending asshole’, Klaus replies, waving his hands in the air as he climbs the stairs back up to Elliot’s apartment. Rubbing his left eye with his hello tattoo, he uses his right to try and fumble a blunt out of his pocket, clenching it between his teeth. As he feels Luther’s footsteps pound up the rest of the way and jog past him to the landing, he can’t quite seem to light it - his fingers are still trembling too hard from the pain of Ben stealing his body in the way he did.

Running up the stairs after him, Diego leaves behind the rest of his shell shocked siblings. Instead he focuses on tucking in the corners of his shirt back into his pants, trying to do anything to stop himself focusing on Reginald and the tears that still threaten to prick at the corner of his eyes. He doesn’t even notice when he walks head first into Klaus, until he has put a hand out and gripped onto his shoulder to stop them both from tumbling back down the stairs like bowling balls and straight into Allison.

‘You, brother, are an idiot. And a fat lot of help’, he smirks, sadly, gently slapping Klaus on his cheek.

‘Rude’, Klaus shrugs, winding his way towards the kitchen and kicking off his shoes in the process, looking for some Vodka to steal.

Allison hops quickly out of the way of the incoming shoes, used to his antics by now, and instead comes to settle next to where Vanya has plodded herself down on the sofa. Fiddling with her oversized jumper, a far away look on her face, Allison places a comforting hand on her bicep and gives her a sorrowful smile.

‘What do we do now?’, Vanya murmurs out as Luther squirms uncomfortably on one of Elliott’s wooden chairs. He ignores the beeping of the machines behind his head, instead swallowing thickly.

‘We, uh... wait for Five, I guess.’

‘No no no, right now, the most important thing we can do to try and change the world, is save JFK.’

‘Ughh we’ve been through this a million times! That’s not how it works Diego!’, Klaus calls from the kitchen, only a cloud of smoke trailing out from behind the wall and filling the room with both a stagnant smell of weed, and a light fog that seems to dampen the small amount of sunlight filtering through the askew blinds, which Elliott had been taking photos through earlier this morning.

‘Look, I get that you’re on some big crusade to prove something to dad, but this is not helpful right now.’

‘We all need to stick together and stop this thing’, Allison chimes in, desperation in her voice.

Luther’s interrupted from his continuing thoughts by a small squeak out of Vanya, following her eyes from where they are trained to a spot on the rug.

‘Oh my god... is that blood? Is someone bleeding?’

‘Holy shit.’

He gets up then, following the trail, beckoning his sisters to stay behind him with his hands until he reaches the dentistry chair at the edge of the landing, grimacing slightly as he turns to swivel it towards him with a squeak. He feels Klaus bump into one side of him, and Diego hit onto his other elbow, a rusty kitchen knife raised and ready, and a look of almost determination on his face, as if he had just been waiting for something awful to happen, just another chain of bad events so he knew his life was back onto its normal tracks.

‘Oh noooo’, Klaus groans, cupping his hands over his mouth as Elliott’s body turns to face them, a knife planted firmly in his eye.

Turning away from the tortured body of his friend, Diego swallows thickly, dropping his knife to the floor and placing an arm over his stomach. None of his siblings really notice, all of them looking over the dead body aghast, wondering, pained that they were the ones who caused something like this. None of them noticed the shake in his hand as he squeezed his eyes shut, forcing the bile back down his throat again. 

Klaus, however, did notice something. However, sadly for Diego, it was not the right thing - not the signs of shock, anxiety, or guilt that flashed over his brother’s face - the signs of PTSD he would have been the most adapt at noticing in the room. No, instead Klaus looked past poor Elliot’s head, towards a blinking static screen that kept flashing blue and black on a nearby desk, left abandoned underneath the shutter shots of the rest of them by Five.

‘Hello there, what might you be?’

Leaving the rest of them, he fumbled with the buttons on the old TV, trying to shake it out of his head how eerily familiar this seemed to dear old dad’s surveillance system. Hitting any button he can find in vain, he throws his blunt out of his mouth and flicks it across the room, slamming the control panel with the fist of his palm, until his pointer finger somehow managed to falter and hit play on the tape left inside.

Never before had Klaus noticed how much time is like water, that it can drip by in front of his eyes so slowly, or even freeze with each new frame. The past few minutes had passed by as if he had watched a thousand frames per second, too slow to be normal, so unusual. He turns to try and point to his siblings, but his jaw is still so slack and he finds he can’t move his fingers properly. Shock, that’s what they call it, shock, he thinks to himself, fighting to get his words out so they don’t trail out.

There is a sadness in his eyes, the glass green too glossy when he finally turns to his siblings and manages only to feebly point at the screen.

For the first time, since his mouth had been wired shut as a teenager, Klaus was at a loss of words.

This grabbed the attention of his siblings, who crowded over to join him and peer intently at the screen - all except foe Diego, who stayed hovering at the edge of the group.

The screen lights up again, showing an empty room, one without proper handles, only sheets of smooth metal as makeshift windows for staff to peer through. There’s no bed, no mattress on the cold floor, just emptiness, isolation, silence, for the man who sits in the centre of the floor in pure white. They recognise from the shaggy hair and the wild beard that it’s there brother almost immediately.

'You were in an Asylum? What for?’, Vanya asks.

‘For trying to save the President’, Diego manages to mutter, unable to look any of them in the eye. ‘For doing what needed to be done.’

He’s interrupted by himself, the small version of him on the tape muttering to himself, rocking back and forth. ‘I am not enough, I can’t do it, I’m not good enough. You’ll never be number one, never.’  

The door swings open then. In his intense silence, Diego somehow screamed with his whole body. The eyes wide with horror, the mouth rigid and open, his chalky face gaunt and immobile as the doctor approached him with the needle.  

‘Please! Not the needle!’, he begs and cries. ‘Please!’

Luther’s the first to turn round and look at his brother. The first to finally look, to finally see him, how defeated he looks, for the first time since they all landed in that alleyway.  It's the look that he gives Diego. Those pale blue eyes, probing into his soul, desperately wanting to see what's going on in there. That look, it just tore Diego apart, piece by piece, and although it wasn’t his fault, he found himself deeply unsettled, deeply angry at him, at all of them, so suddenly.

‘W-w-what? What are you looking at a-a-ss-’

An invisible hand clasps over his mouth and stops his words from escaping, an equally ghostly hypodermic of adrenaline piercing his heart, making it contort and expand until it feels just about ready to burst. His ribs heave uneasily, and Allison’s afraid he’s about to pass out, Klaus rushing forward, biting his lips. Diego only wants to run, but needs to freeze. All he can do, instead, is fall to his knees, and allow four pairs of hands to catch him before his face hits the floor.

A single tear slides down from his warm, butterscotch eyes, followed by another one, and another one, until soon, a steady stream of salty tears flowed it's way down his cheek, releasing the sadness and sorrow that has been held inside of him for all this time but still he did not make a sound. His siblings made the noise for him, warm, comforting little nothings, telling him it was going to be okay, he didn’t have to go back, they were going to do it, save the world. Save themselves.

The hand appeared from nowhere and tightened on his wrist, white knuckled, strong, until Luther had pulled him against his chest, and the others had gently fallen to their knees too and placed their arms around his back as best as they could. Klaus was half leaning over Allison’s leg, and Vanya in turn was completely squished, face first, against his chest, but somehow they made it work.

There is the hug of gentle arms that still gives you the space to breathe, like the ones Grace used to give Diego after a mission. Shutting his eyes, he realises he isn’t used to this type, the kind of hug with strong arms that tells everything that your are - body, brain and soul - that they are with you. 

They stay like that for a while, the five - well, the six of them, as Ben places his arms around his siblings as well, even if they can’t feel him. The six of them, battered, afraid, neglected, and yet, not alone. They huddle there together, embracing each other and crying and just allowing themselves to be open, to be vulnerable with each other, to realise their dad wasn’t there and they didn’t have to go through this alone anymore. 

Tears were wiped and sobbing laughs were shared, and even Five, when he blipped back into the room, saw the set of his siblings hugging on the floor and felt a pang of loneliness and love for his crazy family ring out in his heart that he joined them, if only for a second.

From then they weren’t numbers anymore. They weren’t even siblings. They were more, Diego said with a smile. They were Team Zero.

[fanmoose12]

Hello. I really appreciate your fanfic works and would it be alright to request a tragedy/angst “Hotarubi no Mori e” AU of Levi (taking the place of Hotaru) and Hange (taking the place of Gin) if you’ve happen to watch it? :))

so i’ve never watched this movie, decided to watch it after your prompt and??? this was so damn heartbreaking, i’ve loved it and cried for like half an hour after watching it???

so thanks for your prompt and for recomending this movie!!! i hope my story isn’t so sad btw

anyways, enjoy!!!!

Levi cursed when he realized that he walked by the same tree for the fourth time. He lifted his head and sighed deeply, screaming internally.

Stupid Kenny!

This whole idiotic situation was completely Kenny’s fault. If he was a good uncle or at least a responsible adult, he’d come and pick his nephew from the train station.

But no, he was too busy to do that, and Levi had to walk through the dense forest to get to his uncle’s house.

And now he was lost!

Levi growled and kicked the nearest tree, imagining it was Kenny. Stupid Kenny, and stupid forest, and stupid him for getting lost.

Levi kicked the tree again, harder this time. He raised his leg to do it one more time, when suddenly he heard a voice from up above.

“Oi, what did that tree do to you?”

Levi lifted his head to look for the source of the voice and found… somebody, or maybe something, he wasn’t really sure. It looked like a person, talked like a person, but instead of a face there was some weird mask.

“Go away.” Levi grumbled, crossing hands on his chest and glaring at the person on a tree. He was already pissed off, and he wouldn’t let some masked weirdo bother him.

In the meanwhile, the strange figure jumped off a tree and landed in front of Levi, crouching beside him.

“Are you lost?” the person asked, and Levi fleetingly thought that voice resembled a girl’s. Although it was much deeper than the voices of girls Levi knew.

“Do you know the way out?”

The girl laughed. “I do!” she said way too cheerfully. “C’mon, follow me, and I’ll lead you out.”

Levi nodded, deciding that he really needed help. Even if that help came from a weirdo in a mask. Still, a help from some weirdo was much better than roaming the woods until he starves to death.

“Thank you.” Levi muttered awkwardly and quietly.

The girl smiled down at him, getting to her feet. And Levi realized that she was probably much older than him, as she was almost twice Levi’s height.

“Before we start,” the girl began, as she was looking for something in her pocket. “I’ve got to warn you: you can’t touch me, under no circumstances. Alright?”

Levi huffed. “As if I was going to.”

“I just needed to warn you,” the girl shrugged and then took a long white cloth out of her pocket. She passed one end of it to Levi. “Wrap it around your wrist,” she instructed, doing the same on her own hand. “So we won’t get separated.”

Levi found her request a little weird, but, well, the girl was very weird, and he really wanted to get out of this forest, so he complied, wrapping the cloth tightly around his hand.

The girl looked down on their hands, joined by a white fabric, and started to giggle.

“We look just like a couple on a date!”

Levi raised his eyebrow. “Aren’t you a little old for me?”

“Or maybe it’s you who are too young for me,” the girl chuckled.

And then they started walking, the girl leading the way slowly, but confidently.

She hummed quietly as they made their way through the thick forest, but surprisingly it didn’t irritate Levi at all. On the contrary, he felt relaxed and soothed by her singing.

As they walked side by side, Levi couldn’t help but wonder just who his mysterious savior was. Was she just a girl, who liked to hang out in the woods and wear stupid masks? Or was she living there? Suddenly, Kenny’s tales about ghosts and spirits, which inhabited this forest, came to Levi’s mind.

Kenny told him this story a thousand times, a story of how he accidentally happened upon supernatural festivities, but he did not realize it, because all spirits looked like real people.

Levi shook his head, trying to get rid of such foolish thoughts. Obliviously, she was just a girl and not some supernatural creature. Levi felt ashamed of even thinking about such nonsense.

Maybe he was a rather impressionable child, but he wasn’t a little boy anymore. This winter he would turn nine years old and it was time for him to grow up.

So deeply engrossed in his thoughts, Levi didn’t even notice when the girl led him out to the clearing.

When he finally came to his senses, Levi’s eyes widened slightly, as he took in the scenery around him.

From on top of the hill they’ve been standing on, he could see the whole town below, and if he squinted, he could even see his uncle’s house.

“Thank you,” Levi said again, turning to face the girl.

“It’s nothing,” she waved him off. “But I do want something in return.”

Levi tensed and narrowed his eyes at her. “And what is it?”                   `

“Your name.”

Levi scoffed, but decided to obey her request. She kind of saved his life, after all. “It’s Levi.”

“Nice to meet you, Levi!” the girl giggled. “I’m Hange.”

“I don’t care,” he answered, but before he could turn away and go home, Levi wanted to ask her another thing. “Aren’t you going down with me?”

“What for?” Hange asked, honestly surprised. “I live here, in the forest.”

Levi widened his eyes. Was she actually serious? He looked closely at her, but he could see nothing behind her mask. However, her voice was devoid of the mirth, which was there before. So was she really living in the forest?

“Well, I need to go,” Hange started to turn around. “You can return this thing to me some other time.” She said, pointing to the cloth, still wrapped around Levi’s wrist.

Damnit, he didn’t even see her taking it off.

“What makes you think I will ever step a foot in this stupid forest?” Levi called after her.

“Ah, then leave it as a souvenir, I guess. From your mysterious forest friend. See you, Levi!” Hange finished and started walking away.

Levi watched her until her figure disappeared between the trees.

Then he scoffed, turning around and going his way.

What a damn weirdo he had met today.

                                                                  ***

The next day, Levi woke up to the sounds of his uncle’s friends making some kind of a ruckus downstairs. Sighing and getting dressed, he decided to go for a walk.

Levi hated those disgusting pigs Kenny called friends. They were loud, they were dirty and stinky and they usually came to Kenny with one goal – to get drunk.

As he walked through the town, Levi couldn’t help but remember yesterday’s encounter. And as he thought about the strange girl in a mask named Hange and wondered what she did in that forest, his legs involuntarily carried him on top of a hill.

Levi cursed himself, when he realized he was standing right in front of an entrance to the forest.

“I knew you would come!” Levi heard the cheerful voice, and soon Hange emerged from between the trees.

Levi huffed, turning his face away to hide his embarrassment. “It was unintentional.”

“Well whatever the case,” Hange eagerly clasped her hands together. “Would you like to go for a walk?”

Levi studied her masked face for a while, contemplating his answer. There wasn’t really a choice – it was rather enter the forest with a weird, but probably innocent and friendly girl, or spend his day, cooped up in his room, trying to ignore the vulgar jokes and boisterous laughter from Kenny and his friends.

“Only if you show me a way back here.” Levi said finally.

“That’s a deal then!”

Hange turned around and started leading the way, Levi following after her.

“So you live here with your parents?” Levi asked as they entered the forest.

“Huh? Well, I do have a family, but that’s probably not what you expect.”

Levi stared at her in confusion. She gave him a rather cryptic reply. “And just what do you mean by that?”

Hange turned around to face him. Levi wished he could see what expression she made behind that mask.

“Levi, you know what I am, right?” Hange asked carefully.

Levi looked at Hange’s strange mask and then remembered her words about not touching her.

“You are not just a girl?”

Hange laughed softly, shaking her head. “I am not. I am a spirit, who lives in this forest.”

“So when you said that I couldn’t touch you…”

“I will die, if a human ever touches me. Well, die is probably a wrong word for it, because technically I’ve been dead for a very long time and-“

“Hange.” Levi stopped her. “I got it, stop rambling.”

“Oh, alright,” Hange scratched her head, cocking her head to the side and studying Levi. “Aren’t you scared?”

“Why should I? You don’t look like you’re going to hurt me.”

“That’s right, I’m not.” Hange confirmed rather seriously.

They continued to stroll through the forest quietly after that, the silence around them interrupted only by Hange’s voice as she pointed something interesting to Levi every now and then.

Soon they came to a small bridge, and Levi stopped dead in his tracks when he saw a creature that was standing on the other side of it.

It was obviously some kind of spirit or a ghost, but it looked very different from Hange. Hange looked just like a human, while that thing resembled some kind of a black, slimy cloud. It had no eyes, but Levi felt that it was watching him. He felt a shiver down his spine, and Levi involuntarily took a step back, hiding behind Hange.

“Oi, you’re scaring him!” Hange shouted to that thing. “It’s Levi, he’s my new friend. He’s under my protection, so don’t hurt him!”

“Alright,” the creature said, and Levi closed his eyes at the sound of its voice. It was a horrible sound, which didn’t resemble a normal human voice. Instead the thing bellowed, his voice deep and gravy.

Levi would have pressed himself to Hange, but he remembered that he couldn’t touch her. So gathering all of his courage, Levi opened his eyes and stared at the scene in front of him.

“I won’t hurt him, but tell him he can’t touch you. You can’t do that, human boy,” the creature looked him straight in the eyes.

“I won’t.” Levi promised, willing his voice not to shake.

“Well, we’ll get going,” Hange waved at the creature, gesturing Levi to follow her.

“Don’t worry,” Hange told him, when they were a safe distance from that thing. “He won’t really hurt you, he just worries about me.”

“What was that creature? It looked nothing like you.”

“He is also a forest spirit. I looked like a human, because I’ve been born as one.” Hange looked straight ahead, and her voice lost its mirth and cheerfulness, becoming quiet and neutral. “When I was a child, I was abandoned by my parents. I would have died, if the forest spirits hadn’t saved me. That’s why they are so protective of me.” Hange chuckled at her last words.

Levi just nodded, not really knowing what to say. He had a lot of things to come to grips with after Hange’s story. For example, the fact that spirits and ghosts actually existed, and were not made up by his drunkard of an uncle, who just tried to scare his nephew.

However, the part of Hange’s story, where she was abandoned by her parents, didn’t surprise Levi. His father did the same to him, after all.

                                                              ***

Hange and Levi spend the whole day, exploring the forest, and only when the rays of sunshine were starting to fade, did Hange tell him that he needed to go home.

The forest at night was a dangerous place for a human, she said. And his parents were probably worried about him.

Levi wanted to scoff at the last part. His uncle probably didn’t even notice that he was gone. But his mother could call and ask about him, and she would get worried if Levi wasn’t at home. And Levi hated making his mother worried. She had enough on her hands as it was.

So Levi nodded, and Hange started to lead him to the clearing.

“I’ll come back tomorrow,” Levi said when they were standing on top of the already familiar hill. He purposefully hid his face away from Hange, embarrassed by his own desire to see her again. “If that’s alright with you, of course.”

“Sure!” Hange exclaimed, cheerful as always. “I’ll be waiting for your return.”

“A-alright then,” Levi replied, feeling even more awkward now. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

And then he went home, and the next day he was again standing at the entrance of the forest, and Hange was once again waiting for him in the shadow of a big tree.

And that’s how Levi became friends with a forest spirit named Hange. He spent his every day in the woods, coming in the early morning and going back home when the sun was already setting behind the horizon.

It was never boring with Hange, she always came up with new ways to entertain Levi – they explored the forest, they picked berries, they fished in the forest lake, they climbed the highest trees or they just sat in a shadow, hiding from the sun and talking about everything and nothing. Well, usually Hange was the one, who talked, but she didn’t mind Levi’s silence.

Being friends with Hange was easy, even though Levi had never had friends before. Other kids found him weird, they thought his always scowling face was scary and they didn’t like that he almost never smiled or laughed.

But with Hange, everything was different. She talked for the both of them, and she didn’t need to see his smile or hear his laugh to know that he was enjoying himself and her company.

                                                              ***

Levi was nearly devastated, when at the end of summer his mother came to take him back home. He asked her to wait for half an hour and then rushed to the forest, desperate to see Hange one last time.

He found her at the entrance of the forest, as always. She greeted him with a wave of her hand, as always.

However, she tensed when she saw the troubled expression on Levi’s face.

“Is everything alright?” she asked, unusually serious.

“I’m going home,” Levi breathed out. “I… I wouldn’t be able to come here anymore.”

“So this is a goodbye?”

“No.” Levi replied fiercely. “I’ll come back. Next summer, I’ll return.”

“Alright,” Hange said, but Levi heard that her voice was still sad. She didn’t believe him.

“I will return.” Levi pressed. “And then you’ll show me a million different things. Okay?”

Hange chuckled, her hand coming to scratch her head awkwardly. “Okay.”

“I… I need to go right now. But you’ll wait for me?”

“I’m not going anywhere, Levi,” Hange said in a gentle voice. “Just go already.”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m going. But I will be back,” he replied, just to reassure Hange one more time. “See you next summer, Hange.”

“See you, Levi!” Hange said, and Levi let out a small smile, upon hearing that her usual cheerfulness has returned.

                                                                ***

Returning to his hometown and coming back to school, Levi felt utterly bored. He couldn’t wait for summer to come, so he could visit Hange again. He missed her voice, he missed her laugh, he even missed her stupid and weird mask.

Levi wondered if he always felt like that before he met Hange. Was everything so meaningless and pointless before or did he start to feel like this only after Hange showed him what a true life felt like?

Every time Levi wasn’t busy studying or helping his mother, his thoughts wondered to Hange. He wanted to know what she was doing right now, what interesting thing she managed to find that day, was the weather in the forest warm or cold, did she think of him and did she miss him just like he did?

And sometimes, while lying in his bed, unable to fall asleep, Levi wondered what Hange looked like. She had never taken off her mask in front of him, and Levi wanted to know what her face looked like. Did she look like any other girl, or was her face unhuman-like, showing her true nature?

Despite his desire to see what Hange was hiding behind that mask, Levi couldn’t bring himself to ask her about that. It felt too intrusive, too personal of a question to just outright ask her. But Levi was determined to see Hange’s face, when he would return to the forest next summer.

                                                              ***

Levi felt incredibly happy, when his mother announced that he will be visiting his uncle Kenny this summer as well.

Noticing Levi’s small smile and the unusually pleased expression on his face, his mother softly ruffled his inky curls.

“I see that you and uncle Kenny finally started to get along?”

Levi barely resisted from making a gaging sound at his mother’s words.

“Something like that,” he muttered, not wanting to upset his mother. “Mom, I’ll begin packing my things, yeah?”

“Of course, honey,” his mother smiled softly.

                                                               ***

After his train arrived at the needed station, Levi practically ran out of it and immediately rushed to the forest. He wanted to see Hange so badly!

However, he slowed his pace near the forest and tried to return his breathing back to normal. After all, he couldn’t let Hange know he missed her that much.

To Levi’s disappointment, Hange wasn’t waiting for him at their usual meeting place.

“Hange!” Levi shouted, hopping she would be able to hear him.

In the next second, Hange emerged from the forest. Since their last meeting, she didn’t change at all.

“Levi!” she shouted. “You came back!”

“Of course,” Levi scowled, crossing his hands on his chest. Did she really doubt him? “I promised I would.”

“And I’m so happy you did!” Hange clasped her hands. Then she cocked her head to the side, and Levi knew her eyes were studying him intently behind that mask. “Did you miss me?”

Levi felt his cheeks redden under Hange’s inquisitive stare. He turned his face away and scoffed. “I did not.”

“Oh my! You missed me so much! Levi, that’s so cute!”

“Shut it, Hange,” Levi growled, embarrassment making him feel like a fool. How Hange managed to read him so easily all the time? Was it her superpower as a forest spirit?

“I missed you, too,” Hange said, chuckling softly. She took a step towards Levi, her hand raised in an inviting gesture. “Shall we?”

“Let’s go already,” Levi muttered, coming to stand by her side.

They entered the forest together, and Levi hadn’t felt so happy ever since he said goodbye to Hange last summer.  

                                                              ***

And just like that, Hange was back in Levi’s life. It felt so easy and natural, as though Levi wasn’t absent for almost a year. They got along so well, as though they weren’t from two very different worlds.

But still, one thought lingered at the back of Levi’s mind. He wanted to see Hange’s face, but he couldn’t find enough courage to ask her.

And so, one sunny day, as they lay side by side on the warm and soft grass, close enough but not actually touching, Levi got an idea.

Hange seemed so relaxed, her breathing regular, and Levi concluded that she must have fallen asleep. He quietly and carefully rose and outstretched his hand towards Hange’s mask. He knew he couldn’t touch Hange, but she said nothing about her mask, right?

Levi’s hands slightly trembled while he was lifting the mask. However he successfully took it off and Hange didn’t seem to disappear in front of his eyes. Levi breathed out a sigh of relief, and then his eyes focused on Hange’s face.

And to his surprise… she looked completely normal. He expected to see something weird, but Hange’s eyes, nose and mouth looked just like any other girl’s. She wasn’t pretty like some girls in Levi’s school - her lips weren’t full, and her nose was too long, but Levi liked her face. It was Hange’s face, and Hange was his friend, his best and only friend, and to Levi her face looked more beautiful than the face of the prettiest girl in his school.

“Like what you see?” he suddenly heard Hange’s teasing voice, and Levi jumped back in surprise.

“I thought you were asleep!” Levi said accusingly.

“I was just resting my eyes,” Hange defended herself. She opened her eyes and sat, stretching her hands above her head.

Levi was lost the moment he looked into her eyes. They were brown, and warm, and so, so deep. Small creases appeared around them as Hange grinned at him.

Hange noticed his state, and she cocked her head to the side, looking at him curiously. Her brows furrowed in confusion, and she narrowed her eyes slightly. “Is everything alright?”

“Why do you wear that mask?” Levi asked instead.

Hange chuckled, as she scratched the back of her head. “I’m a forest spirit, but I look like a human, so I wear the mask to cover it.”

“You’re such a weirdo, Hange.” Levi deadpanned, making Hange laugh.

He watched with a small smile at the expression Hange made while laughing. She threw her head back, her eyes were closed, and her mouth was set in a grin.

Levi couldn’t look away.

Suddenly he remembered Hange could be withered away by a single human touch. A chill ran through Levi’s spine at the thought.

“Don’t touch me.” He blurted out. He didn’t mean to, but seeing Hange’s eyes at him, he looked back at her, staring deep into her beautiful eyes. “Don’t you ever touch me, Hange,” Levi pressed.

“A-alright!” Hange replied shakily, still staring at Levi in confusion.

“Do you promise me?”

“Levi, I don’t underst-“

“Promise me!” Levi raised his voice. His hands tightened into fists, and he squeezed them so hard, they began to tremble.

“Okay, okay!” Hange raised her hands into a placating gesture. “I promise that I will never touch you. Just calm down already.”

“I’m perfectly calm,” Levi argued.

“Alright, no touches, I got it.” Hange rose to her feet, putting her mask back on. “C’mon, I’ll show you a fox’s nest I found some time ago.”

And Levi followed after Hange, already missing the sight of her face.

                                                             ***

Summer came and went, and then came another one, and another. Levi grew and matured, and Hange remained the only constant in his life.

Every summer he would visit her, and no matter how much he changed, Hange still was his best friend.

Spending time with her was still his favorite thing in the world, and Levi still missed her every time he went home.

And in all those long years Levi had known her, Hange didn’t change a bit. She was the same as the day he had met her, when he got lost in the woods all those years ago.  

And even though, Levi had already grown up, and even though he already celebrated his sixteenth birthday, he was still shorter than Hange.

And that, of course, was an endless source of mischief and teasing for her.

But there was another consequence to Levi’s maturing.

In the school, seeing his pears dating, holding hands and kissing made Levi understand that he wanted the same thing. He wanted to find someone, who would hold his hand, hug his shoulders and softly kiss him on a cheek.

And as Levi was once returning home from school, one of the girls from his class decided to accompany him.

She had long blond hair and big green eyes with long eyelashes. Her lips were full and pink, her smile soft and gentle.

She was pretty, Levi thought. Very pretty.

But looking at her, he felt absolutely nothing.

Maybe, her hair was long and shiny, but Levi liked wild and messy brown curls. Maybe, her eyes were a beautiful shade of green that matched the leaves on a tree, but Levi preferred deep brown eyes, that were constantly shining with mischief and amusement. Maybe, her smile was pretty and delicate, but Levi enjoyed looking at the wide and slightly crazy grin.

As they walked home together, trudging through the snow, the girl came closer to him, taking his hand in hers.

And as she touched him, all Levi could think of was how it would feel to hold Hange’s hand. How it would feel to put his hands on her cheeks, while staring deeply in her eyes and admiring her smile.

Levi wanted to touch Hange’s hair to test if it really was as soft as it looked. And he wanted, desperately, to put his lips against hers and taste her gentle smile.

He wanted to see her so much, and he wondered, not for the first time this day, what was Hange up to right now. Was it also snowing in the forest? Was it just as cold there? Was Hange wearing the scarf, Levi had given her last summer? Was she feeling just as cold without Levi, as he was right now?

Levi thought that if Hange would ever put her hands around him, if she would touch him at least once, then he would never be cold again.

His heart started to beat faster, as Levi realized the truth. He was in love with Hange, and had probably been in love with her for a very long time. Maybe, he fell in love with her the moment he set his eyes on Hange, back when he was just a nine year old boy, who got lost in the woods.

Suddenly, the girl tugged slightly on his hand, and only then Levi remembered that she was still holding it in hers.

He untangled himself gently, but firmly, looking at the girl apologetically.

“I’m sorry…” he mumbled, staring at his feet. “But I don’t feel the same way you do.”

And then he turned around and headed home, his mind still reeling from the sudden revelation.

                                                           ***

When it was time to visit his uncle again, Levi felt uncharacteristically anxious. He didn’t know how to behave around Hange anymore: should he tell her about his feelings, or should he keep it a secret from her?

Whatever he decided to do, Levi knew his wish would never come to life. He would never get to kiss Hange, or hold her in his arms, or even touch her hand. The smallest of his touch would kill Hange, and Levi couldn’t, wouldn’t, let it happen.

When Levi arrived at the train station and headed to the forest, his heart was beating loudly in his chest and his hands were getting clammy.

He fixed his hair for the tenth time today, and then looked down on his clothes, making sure there was not a speck of dirt on it.

For the first time in years, he was actually worried to see Hange, afraid that his feelings would ruin the friendship they had.

However, all of his fears disappeared the moment he laid his eyes on Hange.

As always, she was waiting for him, and when she finally noticed his approach, she began waving her hands happily. And Levi didn’t need to see her face to know she was grinning at him.

He felt his own lips curve into a smile, as his heart was finally at peace, now that he was beside Hange once again.

                                                             ***

“Levi?” Hange called, while they were sitting on a tree branch, their legs swinging back and forth. “Are you busy tonight?”

Beside her, Levi scoffed. “Of course not, what I would be busy with? Why do you ask, though?”

“Well,” Hange faltered, fidgeting with her hands. “Tonight is the night of the forest festival. And I thought… maybe you would like to come? With me, I mean.”

“A forest festival?” Levi wondered aloud. He suddenly remembered the stories, his uncle used to tell him. So it was the truth, and not hallucinations of a drunkard? “Is it a festival for… spirits?”

“Yeah,” Hange nodded. “But it’s a special night. All spirits and ghosts are pretending to be human. They won’t even notice that you are not one of them. And even if they do, I will protect you. You don’t have to worry.”

“I do not worry,” Levi huffed. “I was just asking. Alright, I’ll sneak from the house tonight and come to this stupid festival.”

“Yay!” Hange threw her hands in the air. Levi wished he could see her smile right now, but Hange’s face was obscured by a mask. “I’ll be waiting for you on our usual spot?”

“Of course.”

                                                                ***

In the evening Levi came to their meeting spot. He was surprised to see Hange already waiting for him. She held a lantern in her hand and she was dressed in a bright yellow yukata.

“Oi, you look so handsome today,” Hange noted, smiling and nodding at his dark blue yukata.

Levi felt his cheek burn in embarrassment. “You look good too,” he muttered quietly.

Hange’s laughed delightfully at his awkward compliment.

Before they entered the forest, Levi took a white cloth out of his pocket. He outstretched one end of it to Hange, and he wrapped another one around his wrist.

“So we won’t be separated,” he told her.

“You kept it all those years?” Hange asked with wonder in her voice.

“Of course. It’s a souvenir from my mysterious forest friend.”

Hange said nothing, but Levi saw her looking at their joined hands. He wished he could see what her face looked right now, but Hange was wearing a mask, as always.

They entered the forest, walking side by side.

The quiet and calm atmosphere of the summer night was interrupted by Hange’s sudden fit of giggles.

“We look like a couple on a date!”

“We do.” Levi replied simply, making Hange gasp. She stopped and stared at him in bewilderment.

“When did you learn how to be so suave?” Hange asked, as she caught up with Levi.

Levi shrugged. “I grew up. It’s you who always stays the same.”

“I do.” Hange nodded, and Levi was surprised to hear some sadness in her voice. He wanted to ask her about it, but soon they reached the clearing, and Levi’s eyes widened as he took in all the bright colors and different sounds of the festival.

All around him were shining lanterns and people in colorful yukatas, Levi was surrounded by the sound of music and laughter. It all looked so normal, he saw not a spirit in sight. Everyone looked just like ordinary people - Levi saw children running around, adults, walking in pairs and holding hands, and elderly, sitting down and enjoying their tea as they wore warm smiles, watching the festivities.

“Come on!” Hange tugged on his arm, breaking Levi out of his daze. “There is so much we have to do!”

And Levi let himself be dragged, dutifully following after Hange as she jumped from one fun activity to another. They went goldfish scooping, gun-shooting, ring-tossing and senbonbiki, and Hange tasted a dozen of different dishes from the food stalls.

Levi was barely able to keep up with her, but still he enjoyed his evening, as Hange’s delighted laugh and her squeals of joy made him incredibly happy.

When Hange finally tired out, she offered to walk Levi home.

She was humming softly, while they were walking side by side through the dark forest. Strolling with Hange like that Levi was reminded of their first meeting.

A smile graced his lips, as he thought of how lucky he was to get lost that day.

Suddenly Hange stopped. She took off her mask and put it on Levi’s face. Before he could react in any way, Hange took a step closer to him and pressed her lips to the mask. She lingered there for a moment, and Levi’s hands trembled with desire to touch her, to cup her face in his palms and truly kiss her, with no obstacles in their way.  

“Keep it,” Hange nodded to the mask. She winked, grinning mischievously, before continuing. “It will be another souvenir from your forest friend.”

Levi froze, looking at Hange with helpless eyes. In that moment he knew that it was his last meeting with Hange. Somewhere deep in his soul Levi felt that he would never get to see his best friend or hear her laugh or listen to her stupid jokes.

He extended his hand, reaching for her. “Hange…” he called softly.

But before Levi could say anything else, a couple of kids ran past them. One of them stumbled and Hange caught him with her hand.

“Be careful!” she called after him, as the boy giggled and continued running after his friend.

And Levi watched with wide eyes as Hange’s hand, the hand that just touched the boy’s shoulder, began to disappear in a bright green light.

“That boy was probably not a spirit,” Hange laughed awkwardly.

And Levi still watched, unable to look away and shocked to do anything else. His heart beat wildly in his chest and Levi felt how tears slowly started to gather in the corners of his eyes.

“Levi, come here!” Hange urged him, widening her arms.

And Levi ran to her, almost knocking her down. He closed his hands around Hange, pressing her as close to him as he could.

“I love you, Hange,” he whispered frantically in her shoulder. He could feel Hange disappearing beneath his fingertips, but Levi held on tight, trying to memorize the feel of Hange’s soft skin and inhaling her faint scent.

“I love you, too,” Hange replied, laughing giddily. “I’m so happy that I can finally touch you!”

“I will always remember you,” Levi promised.

Hange nodded, the brilliant smile on her lips, and in the next moment she disappeared completely.

Levi continued to stare at the spot, where Hange stood. The tears flew freely from his eyes, and Levi’s heart was broken, shuttered in a million pieces, his soul already missing Hange.

But still, a smile began to appear on his face, as he recalled Hange’s last moments.

He was right after all, Hange’s touch did make him feel incredibly warm inside.

And staring at the night sky and the millions stars, that shone brightly, but weren’t nearly as blinding as Hange’s smile, Levi knew that even though he would always miss Hange, even though his heart would always belong to her, now that he had finally touched her, he would never feel cold again.

[rileychaser]

Yesterday I had one of the strangest days of my life, and not in the normal way. I'm writing it out in order to release it into the world and get it away from me.

Let's start with some context. Saturday was my wife's birthday, we went out and had a great time just us. Sunday we were supposed to go over a friend's house to help set up some DnD stuff, but we were socially exhausted from the day before. And yes, we were alone on Saturday, but still we put in a lot of mental effort in stores and restaurants. Anyway so we texted and said my wife was hungover and we weren't going to make it. Acceptable exaggeration of the truth. We did drink, but we were fine. It's a case of too polite and too anxious to say "we don't want to hang out today." (working on it) Then we did things around the house, like putting up boxes and unpacking. Nice night, we had a good day.

Cut to Monday. In the morning, I'm driving to work and some guy in this big truck is tailgating me. We are in two-lane traffic in a little town with turn offs on each side for each lane. I'm in the left lane. I'm going five over the speed limit, as fast as the car in front and the car beside me. This guy starts flashing his lights at me. I don't think anything of it, but he does it again. I can't switch lanes, there are cars beside me and I can't speed up, there are cars in front of me. I have no idea what this guy wants me to do. He cuts into the other lane and proceeds to do the same to the car beside me. I can't see in the truck because it's jacked up and I'm in a little car. He's swerving in traffic, I guess trying to get around people. This goes on for about a mile, then he makes a right turn and that's it. Why tailgate in the left lane if you're making a right turn? Whatever.

Next I'm at PT (Physical Training, or Mandatory workout for the military) we are running a 5k. I chose to do my 5k on the track. This track is 3/4 of a mile. 2 laps is 1.5 mi, which is the run we do for our yearly test. So I run my first two laps as fast as I can to see my run time. A little over 14min, I'm getting better, still need more training. The next two laps I do poorly because I gased myself, but I finish them. After I am talking to my friend Pete, who's house I was supposed to go to yesterday. He asks me about my wife's birthday and what kind of drinks we had, just being a friendly guy. For some reasons my lie is horrible, I'm stumbling over my words, can't get my story straight, just bad lying. I'm normally a great liar when it comes to harmless lies to spare people's feelings or curving my own anxiety. That lie, total crap. Then we all talk about the air quality on base and how we need to not run when it's at a certain level. PT over.

I go to work and eat breakfast, watch some TikTok videos the go to take a shower. I work at a firestation so I'm in their women's bathroom. The intercoms goes off, the one they use to announce emergencies, only this time it's a jumbled gargled mess. Weird. I don't think anything of it. The it dings again and I think their going to announce trouble with the intercoms. Nope. It's a jumbled gargled mess again. Weird. I finish showering and I go to the mechanics bay and start my day. My Airmen is practically coughing up a lung so I send him to medical. (he's fine btw, it was the 5k in bad air, not COVID) Hes gone for the day. I spend my morning figuring out a problem with a truck, normal. However I call about a test I need to take at another building, the lady that gives the test, Ms. V isn't their, the guy Mr. L tells me come in at 1010, she will be back around then.

Context. When you in-process a base you see the security person, Ms. V is the security person. When I got here, six months ago, it was Ms. S, who was talking about training Ms C to be the new security person. Ms S has long black hair. Two weeks ago I go up to the office for a different reason, I'm talking to a different person and I swear I see Ms. S at her desk. Doesn't matter, I wasn't there to see her, but I think about how I thought she was moving. Passing thought that doesn't really register.

This Monday I go up to the office Mr L tells me to take a seat Ms. V will be here soon. I sit, I take out my phone, I start scrolling. 15min later a women with died blonde hair comes hobbling in, I say hobbling because she has one of those boots you wear when you break your foot but you can still walk on it. She comes in, she looks at me and I look at her. Never seen this lady. She says, "you looking for me" in my head I'm like no, but Mr. L looks at me like that's the one, so I say "yes". I follow her into the office. This is a completely new person then who I in-processed with and a completely new person from two weeks ago. But the office is covered in personal items so she has to have been there for a while. I ignore it. My brain probably filled in Ms S in her seat two weeks ago because that's what I remember seeing. I take the test and move on.

Lunch is normal, Tiktok and chicken sandwiches. After I start working on the truck problem. The intercoms goes off and it reminds me of this morning so I ask my coworker if he heard that weird sound this morning. He says he didn't hear it. I insist that it happen twice and he says he didn't hear it. He's the only on there so he's the only one to ask and he didn't hear it.

Then I need to take the trash out so I load it all in the truck. We don't have the proper recycling bins at our shop so we bring it to the main shop to dispose of properly. Also, I need to pick up a part. I go into material control and I start talking with TSgt T about performance reports. They are due in 45 days and neither of us has really started. So we talk about SSgt A who has all EPRs and can help us out on how to write ours. (each base has a different writing style. It's real dumb) so I say I'll ask SSgt A for help.

Back at the shop. I strat an email, but I use an old email and hit reply deleting all the old stuff and what I think is all other recipients. I type out. "hey can you send me some old FARM EPRs so I can figure out how they want it written here) then I but send. Then the email comes to my inbox. Strange. My coworker says, Why'd you send this to me. What? Turns out I buy reply to everyone I work with. Shitty. I recall the email. It's really no big deal and I know it. But what a huge embarrassment. And I feel the anxiety creep up. We joke about it. No one even calls or ask about it, so its a stupid private mistakes that anyone who saw the email will know it was a mistake. It was a legitimate email with a real work question so it's no big deal. No one even cares but me. I spend the rest of my day as an anxious mess because it who I am.

I get home. Have a good laugh and talk it through with my wife and it's over. We order Tai and watch a show. We go to bed.

But I'm still awake. So I start talking to her about my strange day. And I tell her that I haven't felt myself all day, like I was off and maybe wasn't me somehow. This is called disassociation and I know this. Then she tells me a freaky story of some girl with a weird experience and how people think she may have went to another dimension. And that's why I feel like now I may have been in another dimension yesterday and that's why weird shit was happening and I didn't return until i got home. Or maybe I never returned.

That's all.

[theetangerine]

What it’s real like being a Dyslexic

Today's  post shall be about Dyslexia from  "Dyslexia the Gift". Well I didn't know that I was blessed with such an omnipotent power. Thank you Dyslexia the Gift for Awakening my abilities. Anyways this post is just my rebuttal to this list as an Anthropomorphic Tangerine with severe dyslexia. Here we go: General:

1. Appears bright, highly intelligent, and articulate but unable to read, write, or spell at grade level.

Ahhhhh.......... so I am all those big words that I can't spell or pronounce.

BTW who ever came up with the word Dyslexia is a troll cause you knew damn well I can't spell that.

2. Labelled lazy, dumb, careless, immature, “not trying hard enough,” or “behavior problem.”

Hey I am not lazy just because Suzie spends her the night figuring out Algebra questions and I on the other hand will look at her formula, "Copy and Paste" for myself and even then at the end of the day I stilled will have learned it. Einstein did say there are different types of genius.

3.Isn’t “behind enough” or “bad enough” to be helped in the school setting.

Let's just pretend it didn't take me 3 times to read this inorder to understand it. Anywhose.

The school suggested to my parents to take me to get tested. Although I think it was because they wanted justify their discrimination against me.

 4.   High in IQ, yet may not test well academically; tests well orally, but not written.

Lies. I failed in both.

5.Feels dumb; has poor self-esteem; hides or covers up weaknesses with ingenious compensatory strategies; easily frustrated and emotional about school reading or testing.

*clear throat* In best Beyonce voice "I'm survivor................"

6.Talented in art, drama, music, sports, mechanics, story-telling, sales, business, designing, building, or engineering.

 Ohh.......come on I suppose to be talented in these fields why didn't Dyslexia tell me this.

7.Seems to “Zone out” or daydream often; gets lost easily or loses track of time.

They were in the Zone like in Soul

woahh..... that was a bar.

8.Difficulty sustaining attention; seems “hyper” or “daydreamer.”

 As I type this I peer out through the window wondering if clouds really are made of precipitation or that is what the Illuminati wants you to think.

 9. Learns best through hands-on experience, demonstrations, experimentation, observation, and visual aids.

Crash Course history is my religion.

Vision, Reading, and Spelling:

10.Complains of dizziness, headaches or stomach aches while reading.

 Starts going in the 4th dimension if I pick up a book.  

11.Confused by letters, numbers, words, sequences, or verbal explanations.

Algebra is not for dyslexics. You mix letters and numbers together. Mathematicians were not thinking of dyslexics when Algebra was created.

 12. Reading or writing shows repetitions, additions, transpositions, omissions, substitutions, and reversals in letters, numbers and/or words.

Yes Yes . Truly feal for all of of my teacher who read my essays.

13.Complains of feeling or seeing non-existent movement while reading, writing, or copying.

I am Percy Jackson so I am a god.

 14.Seems to have difficulty with vision, yet eye exams don’t reveal a problem.

 I actually had glasses.

15.Extremely keen sighted and observant, or lacks depth perception and peripheral vision.

Yet another sentence I can't understand. Hold up let me go and look up “depth perception” so I can understand this sentence, real quick.........................This is true.  

 16.Reads and rereads with little comprehension.

Reading number fifteen (15) proves this.

 17.Spells phonetically and inconsistently.

 Hooked on Phonics told me otherwise.

Hearing and Speech:

18.Has extended hearing; hears things not said or apparent to others; easily distracted by sounds.

Being an only child while being home alone this ability doesn't have any benefits.

 19.Difficulty putting thoughts into words; speaks in halting phrases; leaves sentences incomplete; stutters under stress; mispronounces long words, or transposes phrases, words, and syllables when speaking.

 I feel called out.

Writing and Motor Skills:

20.Trouble with writing or copying; pencil grip is unusual; handwriting varies or is illegible.

 I may have changed my writing style multiple times. Some legible, some not.

 21.Clumsy, uncoordinated, poor at ball or team sports; difficulties with fine and/or gross motor skills and tasks; prone to motion-sickness.

But if I am supposed to be talented at sports in the afro-mention point why can't I catch a ball.

Dyslexia being confused since 1877.

 22.Can be ambidextrous, and often confuses left/right, over/under.

Yip...A 20 something that doesn't know their left from their right.

 Math and Time Management:

23.Has difficulty telling time, managing time, learning sequenced information or tasks, or being on time.

Well if I can't tell time I can't manage my time thus I don't have enough time to do tasks so that is why I am never on time.

 24.Computing math shows dependence on finger counting and other tricks; knows answers, but can’t do it on paper.

 Only if Math exam were oral I would have accolades in Math.

 25.Can count, but has difficulty counting objects and dealing with money.

 Y'all I have nightmares about being a cashier.  

 26.Can do arithmetic, but fails word problems; cannot grasp algebra or higher math.

As I said before Algebra not, for dyslexics.

Memory and Cognition:

27:Excellent long-term memory for experiences, locations, and faces.

I wish could forget about that time I fell down in front the entire school. And yes this is not an exaggeration. The ENTIRE school saw this.  

28.Poor memory for sequences, facts and information that has not been experienced.

Subjects dyslexics shouldn't do:

Science: too many big words you can't spell.

History or Literature: reading is detrimental to your health.

Math:  A-L-G-E-B-R-A

 29.Thinks primarily with images and feeling, not sounds or words (little internal dialogue).

Sad truth I wear my heart on my sleeves. It's fricking annoying cause I want to be mad in peace without anyone knowing Goddamn it .

 Behavior, Health, Development, and Personality: 

30.Extremely disorderly or compulsively orderly.

I am Death the Kid.

(If you don't get that reference you are uncultured)

 31.Can be class clown, trouble-maker, or too quiet.

Like I was disliked in school for being too quiet. You would think that it was students oh no no no Patricia it was teachers.

Sorry Mrs. Emily for not giving you grey hairs, so you have the opportunity to go home to your loving husband to complain about how much you hate your job and kids. While you thinking about your affair with the young nextdoor neighbour, who you would end up marrying only to then leave them for a hot 20 yea.............................Ummmm that got a bit personal there lets continue shall we  

32.Had unusually early or late developmental stages (talking, crawling, walking, tying shoes).

 It took a while to learn how to tie my laces.

 33.Prone to ear infections; sensitive to foods, additives, and chemical products.

So wait not only did Dyslexia inhibit my ability to read, comprehend and to tell my right from my left to function normally in society but it caused my ear infections too. That is it I'm done

Moving to Siberia.

 34.Can be an extra deep or light sleeper; bedwetting beyond appropriate age.

 I was a very well trained tangerine.

 35.Unusually high or low tolerance for pain.

Everytime I stub my pinky toes it feels like an aeroplane wheel rolled over it.

36.Strong sense of justice; emotionally sensitive; strives for perfection.

 Facts!

37.Mistakes and symptoms increase dramatically with confusion, time pressure, emotional stress, or poor     health.

2 second Rant

Examiners don't think of dyslexic people, even with extra time. The sheer amount of times it takes just to understand the question then to answer with the best possible Grammar is straight cruelty.

You automatically want me to fail and not finish don't you.

You Demon.

  Mini sidestory:

While writing this I asked my significant other to spell "Exaggerate", dude looked at me and told me to sound it out. Past me knew he was going to say this and I did sound it out  before he asked me to sound it out. I told him that I did and that I don't know what letter comes after "Ex", he was like babe sound it out..................................

Tangerine internal thoughts: (Exsqueeze me) Every time try that a ""H" is coming up in my head. I thought this through ya know.

In conclusion I sound it out to my phone.

 To anyone who don't understand Dyslexia fully I do suggest researching.  

My commentary is completely subjective but if you relate that is good :)

 That's all my Fruits until next time

- TheeTangerine

Proof read by TheeApple<3

https://www.dyslexia.com/about-dyslexia/signs-of-dyslexia/test-for-dyslexia-37-signs/

[badboy-mysweetboy]

One Dangerous Stiff

Eric Coulter× fem reader

Ok..... Hear me out. Thus dude is just mighty fine and he could shove me off a cliff and id smile🙃 enjoy btw this don't follow the plot bro.

Warning: Sad, swearing, cute ending, badass reader

Random tags: @missmarrinette​ @pindragon​ @ericcoulterdauntlessdivergent​ @ericcoultergirl9499​

"So who's it gonna be?" Eric, one of the leaders asked eyeing the new recruits. "Me," I spoke up walking from the back of the group, his cold blue eyes bore into the side of my head as I presented in front of the group. "Is there water? Or a net?" A boy behind me asks, approaching the ledge and turning to the group with a smirk.

Eric's eyebrow raises at the movement. "Boy, I sure hope not." Rasing my fingers in a gun motion to under my chin, pulling the trigger. Lifting my weight from me, the wind throwing my h/c flowing above me as the ledge above me got smaller and smaller. The darkness around it grew to tuck my arms under my head and crossing my legs as if I was on a couch, watching the game. Then my weight was caught in a net.

Landing, my weight shifted as I looked over at a familiar face. "Y/n?" His eyes wide and mouth agape.

"Oh look my least favorite number, how long has it been 7 years? I can't remember." Getting off the net walking away as Four sent up a whistle and another came down. Beatrice, from my old, shitty faction. Abnegation.

As he pulled the net down, their eyes met and never let go. Making gagging noises they caught on before another was sent down. Four kept a gaze on me before Eric leaped down. He walked in front of the group once again as more teens walked in but in all black. Standing in the back I made mental note of the people that stood in front of me, finally meeting with a blue pair already looking at me. Eric's smirk grew into a... Smile. Bouncing my eyebrows, erupting a chuckle. Continuing his speech, my mind wandered to younger days.

"You can't catch me!" A laugh left his lips as my smaller frame tried to keep up. "Slow down!" My younger squeaky voice called out to him, running in between houses and crowds trying so desperately to just graze his skin. Before abruptly stopping being met with a chest, looking up I was met with a scary, familiar face. "Daddy? What's wro-" His hands.

Dug into my arms as he pulled me back to the box-like house, a pair of familiar eyes followed what happened. Screaming and kicking, my cheek stung as my head whipped to the side meeting his eyes once more. "Help me! Big brother, please! Don't let him hurt me!"

Instead of a hero, I was met with a coward, him shaking his head.

But that wasn't new.

But was new was he never came back.

Never.

My body painted in splotches of dark shades, my memories even darker. Daddy.

He blamed me for mom, now brother. Brother never got hit, even though he made me so mad, I'm happy I can protect him from daddy.

I don't know where he went, he was only 9 and I was 7 but I hoped he was safe till 16.

"Follow me." Shaking my head I follow as he mapped out the place to me, "Badass" noticing the grunge military aesthetic. "You're a stiff?" A gruff voice from behind me, turning to see ice blue once again. "What? Happy to see me?"

"Ha ha very funny, but no I meant-" he started, smiling I winked. "I know what ya meant, just giving ya trouble." Chuckling he continued next to me as we were showed the bunking area, " change into new clothes, we burn your old ones in 5."

"Fucking finally" walking into the room while everyone else looked around. Stripping and diving into my new black ones, turning I caught the sight of a neck tattoo before it disappeared behind the wall.

Picking up my old gray clothes and gliding towards the bonfire already made. The heat made me smile. As Four went on and on about new beginnings I tossed my clothes in like it was trash while others held it dearly to their hearts.

"Get over it. It's not like you wanted to stay, throw it in the damn fire so we can move on." I grumbled before shadowing behind the crying group. Passing it. Training. Finally.

Fighting was the only thing I knew after that day with my brother. Relentlessly for 7 years. I built up my strength and got away from the man who hurt me day after day. "What do you got stiff?" A dude was mocking Tris, who was having trouble with throwing a punch. Approaching them and grabbing her hand and pulling her with me. Standing here in front of the bag next to mine, sighing before putting her in the most impactful stance. "Tension here" pointing to her abdomen, "not here" pointing at her stomach. "Weight here, then shift it as you swing" leading her on her back foot to her front. "Swivel your foot with it. Go, right hook it."

Swallowing, Tris did as told and landed a decent punch. Eyes widening she met my e/c eyes, "It didn't hurt." Going to my bag I responded, " because you're the one supposed to give damage not receive-" throwing a hooked punch, "now keep going it hurts less more ya do it, rookie." As my fists met the leather images from childhood flashed in my mind, faces, voices. Every memory leads to a harder punch.

"Y/n and Al, ring now." Eric's cold voice boomed over the cement room, turning to the ring a boy stepped in. Smirking I went in between the ropes and cracked my knuckles. "I can't hit her, Can I fight a guy?" Al asked looking me up and down, Eric's face went from his normal bitch face to disgust. "Really? Just fight her, she has over double your score. Go!" At his command All slowly approaches, scanning his stance I could tell his core was his main focus of strength. Sighing as his fist flew passed my head, grabbing his arm and launched my foot into his side earning a yell of pain. Before twisting the now dislodged shoulder so his arm was behind his back. Laying on the floor at my will, I sat on his back holding the position as I fake checked my nails. "I'm thinking safe word fellas, how bout pork and beans?"

The boy was groaning in pain when he and Eric in unison, "What?"

"I don't know I saw it in a movie. Now, Al, I want you to repeat after me. Four is the worst number." His eyes met mine, "I can't say that."

Pulling his arm farther and farther as he screamed and the group grew as Four and Eric watched me whisper in his ear. "Say It! Or else..." Pulling his arm he yelped, "Four is the... Worse number. Now please." Sighing thinking about it for a second, "I guess so." Getting up and jump out of the ring. Watching Four as his eyes connected to his shoes, walking to the knifes section. Practice, yes I was like a perfected machine but all I knew was to fight.

That's all I've ever known.

Throwing the heavy but not too heavy weapons, the figure of the tall man came back. Making the knives go further... Faster. Until I reached down and no knives were found. Looking up, Eric was holding the box. "Dinner was called 25 minutes ago. You need to eat."

"Why do you care if I eat? You have 45 new robots to program that is eating. I don't eat dinner. Not when I can be here." Never breaking the gaze as my hand refilled with serrated steel, he grabbed my wrist with the blades. " because I like you. And I don't like people, and you're easily the best fighter here. So shower and I hope I see you in the cafeteria, or I'll come lookin" He smirked at the end, "Is that a threat or a promise Eric?" Smirking stepping forward being so close I could feel the hot breath fan over my skin. Glancing between his icy blue eyes and his pink lips I lean in a bit closer dropping the knives in the box, "I guess we'll see then?" Backing away before swaying my hips all the way to the bunks, finding the showers. Peeling the grimy clothes off my body and stepping into the icy water. The colder the better, cleaning the sweat off my skin. I turned the water off and drying off and putting on my bra and underwear.

Walking passed the mirrors I stop in my tracks. I've never seen my self as a whole, damn I'm ugly. Glancing over the scars and abs carved into my skin. Placing the tank and jeans on over the marks, I swiftly make my way to my bunk. Pulling on my boots I hear boots hit the floor growing nearer, “I thought you may have gotten the hint by now but here you are.” Turning and seeing Four, “How’d you know it was me, Y/n?” 

“Because you’re heavy-footed, and you lead with your left foot instead of the average right. Now please excuse me, I’m hungry.” Walking passed him before I felt his hand around my wrist. Stopping in my tracks he let out a heavy breath. “Y/n I’m sorry-” 

Yanking my wrist out of his grip with a cold glare, “No you’re not. You left me alone with that monster for 7 years.

 Not 7 minutes, 

Not 7 hours.

 Not 7 days. 

7 YEARS! Catch my drift you ugly bastard? Even though you ran away every time he decided to punish someone, you’d come back. But at least you came back-oh wait. You didn’t. And really the name Four? Do you really hate me that much? We both know, that’s the time dad got home every day. Leave me alone, Good-Bye Tobias.” 

The cold glare I gave him could kill, another pair of boots could be heard but my eyes never left his. “You were supposed to be my big brother.” In a small whisper left my lips before turning back to the cafeteria. Eric stood at the end of the hallway with a curious look written on his face. “Come on Y/n, I am.” Tobias’s voice echoed, not even turning to meet his gaze. “You lost that title, You haven’t been in a long time. Do what you’re good at. Disappear, Tobias.” Before continuing to Eric as we made our way back.

“Don’t mean to pry but. Tobias? What is he to you?” Eric asked as we sat with our food in front of us. Sitting criss-cross on the bench I look over, “Tobias- I mean Four grew up together. But you would collect that since you heard our argument.” Giving a small smirk at the end taking a swig of water from my cup, he chuckled placing some of the ripped up biscuit into his mouth. “Sorry bout that, but like I said I was gonna come to look for ya. So you’re old friends?” 

Finishing the food in my mouth I answered, “Well not exactly a friend. A friend you can rip off like a bandaid, painful but gone. Nope. To- Four was like cancer, you can’t get rid of it. Somehow, he comes back. But I thought he was gone for good. Shows how much I know.” I chuckle coldly eating a bit more, we sat in short silence. I could see the gears turning. Before the girl from before sat down next to me, a- Tris was her name. “Can I help you?” I ask before plopping food into my mouth, she tugged at her long black sleeves. “I wanted to thank you for earlier, he was being a jerk. And teaching me how to...” She mumbled off, “Throwing a hook? No problem Rookie. Now if ya please, go back to your chair before Four thinks he can sit over here.” I grumble the last part, letting out a heavy sigh when Four plops down across from me. 

Standing from the table I turn and go up the stairs the second Four sat. Clenching my jaw I quickly make my way up the stairs and to the roof, slamming the door shut and grumbling. “Who the fuck he think he is? Walking in like he fucking did nothing? God, I wish I didn’t love him!” I rant sitting on the ledge letting my feet dangle. 

“You love Four?” I heard an angry voice from the doorway, his chest puffed up. Looking over at Eric, “Trust me, not the way you think. Come. Pop a squat.” I pat the cement next to me, he was at my side within seconds. “Then how do you love Tobias?” 

I gulped looking longing at the bright lights against the dark sky, “Tobias is- was my big brother. We had a rough childhood. My dad was an ass, and when my mom ran away he lost it. He took out that rage on me because Tobias ran into the shadows. He left me 7 years ago, I was 7 at the time. I never knew where he went, or if he was alive. I fought to get things since dad was broke, hence to now sitting on a roof with a ruggedly handsome man explaining why I want to kill a number.” I chuckled at the end, Eric watched as I spoke about my childhood.

 I don’t hide it. Because simply I don’t care about my childhood. I won't start crying because of it, not how I was built. 

“Brother? So I have a chance?” He smiled, letting out a laugh I replied. “Yes. Yes, you do Eric.” 

[yourperfectflaws]

HYDRA’s Pet ; 04

Pairing: James Bunchan Barnes x HYDRA!Reader, Avengers x Reader (Platonic/ Familial)

Series Summary: As HYDRA’s favorite experiment, you were trained to follow orders perfectly. But, when you’re taken from the only home you’d ever known by the Avengers, you find yourself more lost than ever. However, out of all the things that could have happened to you, you’d never expected him to be one of them.

Chapter Summary: Your sexy ass is flown to Wakanda to meet T’challa’s genius sister, Shuri. 

Warnings: Two panic attacks, uhhhh mentions of violence and rape... and the word Hell

Word Count: 3.1k

Author’s Note: Here he comes bitchessss (I listened to Emo Boy by Ayesha Erotica while writing this btw) HE’S FINALLY HEREEEE!!!! Also, the reader says something in Russian, which is in italics, so note that she’s not saying it harder, she’s saying it in another language. 

Prologue // Previous Chapter // Next Chapter (Coming Soon!)

January 18th, 2017 ; Wakanda

When you entered the ship, it was unlike anything you had ever seen before. It looked like it came out of a different dimension. Plus, the seats were so soft you felt like you were about to melt right into them. You looked up to see T’challa taking a seat in front of you. “Okoye, let’s go.”

Soon, you were in the air and along with the whir of the engine, you could hear your frantic heartbeat in your ears. You clung to the seat while trying to focus on your breathing. All the things that have happened to you within the past two days seemed to cause you to forget your fear of flying.  

It seemed the King noticed your distress because he sat next to you at placed a comforting hand on your shoulder. He started speaking to you in a deliberately calming voice. If it were anyone else, you would have blown up at them for talking to you like a child but there was something about the King that put you at ease.  

After a while you calmed down enough to hold a steady conversation. “I like your clothses,” you complimented, noticing the gold detailing around the collar. He chuckled lightly.  

“Thank you, it’s called a dashiki,” he said while smoothing down any imaginary wrinkles. You repeated the word under your breath, staring at the patterned shirt. He regarded you with a humorous glint in his eyes. “Would you like a pair?”

You nodded slightly. He laughed and scratched his forehead. You noticed how clean and smooth his skin was. He must take really good care of himself. Again, you felt a bubble of jealousy pop within your chest. Though, it didn’t make you angry. In fact, you didn’t even hesitate to compliment him, saying, “You are very handsome.” You gestured to him with your cuffed hands. His eyes widened and he gave you a nervous laugh.  

“We’re almost there, my King.” You heard a feminine voice from the cockpit call to T’challa. He stood and made his way to the cockpit. Not wanting to be alone, you carefully moved in the middle of the two seats and gazed out at the forest below.

“This is the best part.” T’challa smiled, watching as Okoye flew the ship dangerously close to the trees. Your stomach rolled.  

“We will crash!” You clutched the seat in front of you, knuckles turning white. If the collar wasn’t still on your neck, then the seat would have bent under your force.  

They both laughed and continued. And you soon saw why.  

Instead of crashing into the forest floor, it was as if there was a screen in front of you that glitched. Suddenly, there wasn’t a forest anymore. You stood there in awe at the sight in front of you. The futuristic buildings gleamed under the luminous sun, making the entire city glow with a warm, yellow light.  

You steadied yourself against the co-pilot's chair as Okoye brought the ship down onto a large landing pad in front of a gleaming building.  

As soon as you stepped foot outside of the ship, you were hit with a wave of relief. It felt good to be out of there and on solid ground. The King sent Okoye to do something you didn’t catch— you were watching a young woman speed walk up to the two of you.  

She bowed to T’challa extravagantly. “Your majesty.”

“Ah, stop that.” He swats his hand at her. “This is Y/n. She needs the algorithm you used on Barnes.”

You straightened your back, putting on a mask of confidence as he introduced you. The woman turned to you and sized you up, a delicious grin spreading across her lips. “What up? I’m Shuri, I’m nineteen, and I never fucking learned how to read.”

This caused T’challa to scold her for her language— even though you didn’t know what part of her introduction was wrong— and lying about her age. You assumed she was younger than what she said— she definitely appeared to be.  

Shuri began laughing, which to you sounded like bells, and crossed her arms over her chest. “I’m just having fun, brother, there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s not my fault you’re too old to understand that reference.”  

“I am sure she is older than I am,” T’challa responded, gesturing to you. He most likely received your file from the Avengers.  

Shuri gasped, placing a dramatic hand over her heart. “Don’t you know it’s rude to assume a woman’s age?”

“1953.” They both looked at you with confused expressions. Shuri seemed to be surprised by your voice. You probably had a strange accent, just like them. “I was born on 1953.”

“You’re more than sixty years old?” Shuri gaped at you, sizing you up again. “Jesus, woman, what’s your secret? How do you look so young?”  

“Shuri, we have a job to do remember?”

“No, I have a job to do.” She turned to her brother, who was staring at her with a deadpanned expression. She waved her hand at him before saying, “you just sit there looking pretty. Come on, let’s hurry.”

You followed the two of them into Shuri’s lab like some sort of lost puppy. For some reason, you felt a pang in your chest watching the two of them bicker playfully. It reminded you how deeply alone you were.  

You had nobody but Hydra for the longest time and now you don’t even have that. And although you had partners for missions and such, you never had anyone permanent in your life like the Commander was. But the relationship before you was nothing like the one you had with him. It was entirely different. There wasn’t one person having control over the other, they both just seemed at ease and comfortable. And you wanted that.  

Shuri stopped in her tracks, tearing you away from your train of thought. She held her arms out and smiled. “Welcome to my technological Disneyland.” She threw a pointed look at her brother. “Except I’m Walt Disney.”

“I never said I was taking you there, you just assumed.” He folded his arms over his chest, tilting his head at her. They began to bicker again as you observed the room below. You had never seen anything like it. The spiraling ramp around the thick pillar— filled with colorful artwork— was made entirely of lights that illuminated your boots as you walked. There were white display tables along the circular walls of the room, showing off invention after invention. Other people in white robes were working on projects along the tables.  

“You made this?” You asked, observing the gadgets in front of you.  

“Hell yeah I did!” She came up behind you and began demonstrating how one of them worked. You stared at her in awe.  

“You are very smart; I could never craft anything like these.”

She thanked you, throwing a smug grin at the King, who sighed.  

“We shouldn’t get off task, we’re here for a reason.”

Shuri waved him off. “Shhh, brother, let her continue.”  

“Shuri.”

“Ugh, fine, let’s go.” She linked her arm in yours and pulled you towards a door on the other side of the room. “Come on, Y/n, I want to show you more stuff I made.”

You walked with her, listening to her ramble on about all the technological advancements and upgrades she’d done within the past month. She led you down a hallway and into another room with similar design as her lab. The two of them walked ahead of you to set something up.  

As soon as you saw the pod, your heartbeat spiked and your stomach dropped down to your feet. You stopped in your tracks and stared at it with wide eyes. Images of the horrors you were subjected to within the Chamber flashed before your eyes. No. There was no way you were going back down.  

You didn’t realize you were walking backwards until you bumped into a work table and knocked over a few supplies. The two of them stopped speaking and turned around to look at you, confusion clear on their faces. “Y/n? Are you alright?” T’challa asked, taking a tentative step towards you. However, you backed up even more.  

“Hey, it’s okay. What’s wrong?”

You stared at them, fear in your eyes, and pleaded in a quiet voice. “Please... don’t... I am sorry.” Your knees gave out and you sunk to the floor, pushing yourself into the wall behind you. You felt hot tears race down your face and choked on them.  

They stared at you with pinched brows. You were cowering as T’challa stepped towards you, kneeling down to your level. “What do you mean?”

Your breathing was loud in your ears. “Please... don’t put me back in... I’ll be better...” You managed to say between gasps.  

“You don’t want to go in the pod?” You continued to hyperventilate, even after he placed a comforting hand on your shoulder. “Hey, breathe. You’re okay.” After coaxing you into controlling your breathing, he held out a firm hand for you to take, which you hesitantly did. Pulling you up, he regarded you with a look of pity. Which again, under normal circumstances you would have told him off. But you didn’t seem to care.  

“Want to talk about it?” You shook your head, finding the floor suddenly interesting. “Well, you’re going to have to go in the pod anyways. It’s the safest way for Shuri to reprogram your mind.”  

“But I did something wrong?”  

“No, no, you didn’t do anything wrong.”  

Shuri placed a hand on T’challa’s shoulder. “Brother, I think they used the pod as a punishment.” She moved around him, taking you gently by the hand. “Come on, Y/n, I’ll set you up with a screen.”  

You followed, hesitantly of course, as she led you to a secluded area where there was a flat cot that was somehow levitating. You stared at it as she called over a few assistants. She came back and instructed you to lay down, explaining that they were going to do the procedure on the cot instead of in the pod.  

As you laid down on the cold metal surface, you wondered what they would do to your mind. You watched as the assistants inserted the IV and gave you a dose of anesthetics. And as you nodded off, you thought of your Commander and what he would say if he saw where you were now.  

.  

Shuri watched you go under as she brought up the holograms, bringing them closer so she could see better. Her brother was in another room talking with the merchant tribe leader so he’d left the two of you alone.  

She watched for a moment as your chest rose and fell as you lay unconscious on the cot and she had to admit it was kinda surreal— when you walked in here you had either a frown on your lips or tears in your eyes. So, seeing with such a peaceful expression was uncharacteristic and strange.  

“Let’s have a look at your memories, shall we?” She said, more to herself than you, as she pulled up the program.  

She saw a tiny version of you playing around the base with a tall man, giggling as you danced to Russian music, and making snowmen outside. She saw them train you, build your body to become a weapon. She saw your fear when you made a mistake— something that wasn’t easily overlooked with Hydra— and were forced into a pod to live out nightmares. She saw the hundreds of missions you’d been on, some with a man she was quite familiar with, and the countless deaths you caused. And then she saw something else. That same man forcing himself on you made her sick to her stomach.  

“Shuri, how’s it coming?” At her brother’s sudden voice, she jumped and quickly changed the memory to something else. But this one was much more violent. She turned around to see her brother walking towards her with knitted eyebrows.  

“What’s wrong? Did you see something?”

“Just this,” she lied, gesturing to the gruesome image. She had a feeling you didn’t want anyone to know about when that man had done to you, especially a King. She didn’t know if you realized what he’d done was wrong or not so she’d have to be as much of a role model to you as she could.  

She watched as her brother examined the content on the screen, shaking his head. You were shooting up several children and the sight made her want to vomit. “What have they done to this poor woman...?”  

“They raised her, brother.” She pulled up the earliest memory she could find. It was of a toddler walking for the first time. The image pulled at her chest, begging for her aid but she knew she could do nothing for her. At least not then. Now, she was going to do everything she could to help you.  

“She was scared, brother, and I know you could see it, too.” She glanced at him, watching his lips draw a fine line. “Hydra was the only place she’d ever known. I’m not surprised to see any of this.”

“Well, we need to do the same thing for her that we did for Sargeant Barnes.” He stared down at your sleeping face. “She doesn’t know it but she needs help and I’m afraid we’re the only people who can give it to her.”

.  

The first thing you heard when you regained consciousness was the steady beat of the heart monitor. You squinted open your eyes to find yourself laying on the same cot with holographic screens around your head and chest.  

You sat up and held your head in your hands, feeling it spin nauseatingly. After the spinning subsided, you stood and walked around the pillar wall and into Shuri’s lab. You noticed her sitting on a stool and working on a project.  

“Shuri.” You called out for her and she turned to look at you with a light smile.  

“You’re awake.” She put the pliers she was holding down as you approached her. “How are you feeling?”

“Not sure...” You thought for a moment. You felt strange, that much was for sure, but it wasn’t a bad feeling. You felt at ease, like everything was finally coming together. “Calm? Peaceful... Is normal?”

“Well considering our other ex-HYDRA soldier who we performed this algorithm on had the same feelings, I guess that statement could be correct.” She cleared her throat and turned on her stool.  

“So, since you’re supposed to be here for ‘rehabilitation’ or whatever.” She made dramatic air quotes with her fingers. “I guess you’ve got two choices. You can either be put on the same program that Sargeant Barnes is on where you live on the outskirts of the city... or you could stay in the building where me and my brother sleep. It’s all up to you.”

You stared at her for a moment before asking her for a coin. She stared at you in confusion but pulled one from her pocket nonetheless. Since it was difficult for you to make decisions for yourself, you figured having a coin do the work for you would save you a lot of stress. Deeming heads for the outskirts and tails for the inner city, you flipped the coin and caught it, flipping it once more on the back of your hand. It was tails. Inner city it was, then.  

Then, you had a realization. “This Sargeant Barnes... can I meet him?”

“Sure, but why?”

“Maybe I know him.”

“Craving a familiar face, I see...” She thought for a moment before springing up from her stool. “Alright, let’s go, then.”  

She linked your arms and you walked with her through the city. She mentioned she’d take you on a tour through Wakanda once you were settled in. She brought you to a small rural settlement filled with children running about, playing with each other, and brought you to a thatched house in front of a glistening river.  

“Sargeant Barnes! I have someone I’d like you to meet!”  

Bucky came out from his hut and smiled when seeing Shuri. “Shuri, I told you to— “ But when he saw you behind her, he dropped what he was holding and took a short step back. “What is she doing here?”

Shuri looked quizzically between the two of you, him standing there with his arms crossed over his chest and you observing a frog that hopped onto the shore. “Huh? Oh, Y/n’s here for rehab. She wanted to meet you for some reason.”

The frog hopped back into the water and you stood up in disappointment. Turning to look at him, you were met with his steely blue eyes. They bore into your head with fierce intimidation and you couldn’t help but look away. You didn’t recognize him without his arm but there was something familiar about him.  

Noticing your reluctance, Bucky sighed and stepped closer to you and held out his hand. “Hi, I’m Bucky, nice to meet you.”

Your eyes widened and you stepped back. You recognized his voice. He was the Winter Soldier.  

He could tell you remembered him so he stepped back and held his hand up defensively, as if attempting to approach a wild animal. But you weren’t a wild animal... were you? You could hear your breathing in your ears, it rang inside your skull like alarm bells. Images and memories of your missions with him flashed before your eyes as you stared at him, unable to move. To run.  

“Y/n, Y/n!” Shuri called to you, breaking your frozen trance. She came between the two of you, staring firmly into your eyes. “You’re fine, he won’t hurt you. He was reprogrammed, too.”  

You steadied your breathing and stood up straight, regarding him dubiously. He hesitated before holding his hand out again for you to shake. You bit your lip before taking his hand, causing a soft smile to bloom across his rugged features. You figured that this could possibly be the start to a new friendship.  

...

Note: I’m sorry this fic took so long, I’ve been having troubles at home and haven’t had much time to sit down and write. I can’t guarantee that part 5 will be out soon either. But it will be out eventually. Patience is a virtue. 

Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Have a great day and stay safe!

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