#i could list all the dynamics im thinking of. but it would take a while. and i dont want to

[bimboguy]

[last-words-ofashootingstar]

(Would love to hear you rant about ateez sub/doms please 👀❤️)

➯a/n: i could hug you rn omg you have no idea how bad i wanted to do something like thiiiiis ! im doing a post for each member and will link them here because i genuinely could not shut the fuck up once i started LMAO. i'll do as many as i can tonight and the rest tmmr kkkkk enjoy my depravity <33

ATEEZ in bed

In Which: Star has many, many thoughts about how the members act in the sheets.

❥ATEEZ x fem reader

(>ᴗ•)genre: smut, ranting / headcanon style

ಠ_ಠwarning/content: listed on each memeber, not grammatically correct, pretty much every kink you could think of so buckle tf up lmao (including but not limited to: ddlg, cnc, piss kink, anal (members and reader), praise and / or degradation, the list goes on and on... and on)

♡masterlist + navigation !♡

18+.MINORS GET BACK. BACK I SAY🤺.

❝PARK SEONGHWA❞ is a nasty soft dom.

❝KIM HONGJOONG❞ is a dom leaning switch.

❝JEONG YUNHO❞ is a rough teasing dom.

❝KANG YEOSANG❞ is the most dominant and mean.

❝CHOI SAN❞ is a vanilla dom.

❝SONG MINGI❞ is a sweet sub with moments of dominance.

❝JUNG WOOYOUNG❞ is the king of filthy switch dynamics.

❝CHOI JONGHO❞ is rough and passionate.

𓂃˖˳·˖ ִֶָ ⋆★⋆ ִֶָ˖·˳˖𓂃

in order of freakatude: wooyoung, yeosang, yunho, seonghwa /hongjoong (interchangeably because it's a fine line), mingi, jongho, san

in order of dominance: yeosang, yunho, seonghwa, san, hongjoong, jongho / wooyoung (again fine line but also wayyyy different ?), mingi

yeosang. i am a FIRM believer that he's fucking filthy and mean, i feel it in my gawls (return of the girl bawls !!). it's always the quiet ones !! this man is absolutely too calm, he's fucking his emotions out. he doesn't fight back in day to day life cause he's fighting you in the bedroom (and winning, everytime). would absolutely let him man handle me and would have zeroooo complaints as he takes out his frustration on me. i am indeed his bitch ❤︎

yunho. there's a compilation of him staring at people that i watch AT LEAST once a week, it practically screams "im thinking about ways i could make you squirm". he's almost as filthy as yeosang and wooyoung, and he isn't shy about it as he tells you he wants to bend you over and spank your ass raw before he fucks you. want that, need that, pls and thx <33

seonghwa. he isn't mean but he is noooot a sub. maybe, on rare occasion, he'll let you on top but he enjoys taking care of you and making you all dumb on his cock... i need him in ways that go against my moral compass ♡

san. he isn't rough and he doesn't take charge on purpose, just kind of happens cause that's who he is. guiding you into different positions to try and get further up inside you- get closer. want him to hold my hand while he pouts about wanting to be deeperꨄ︎

hongjoong. OOOOOOHHH IM SO VERY NORMAL ABOUT HIM — he's very diverse in his dynamics, one day he's a teasing jerk while fucking you dumb, the next day he's begging you to fuck his ass, then he's worshiping your body like you're an angel. more often than not, he's dominate. but when he's had a rough day he wants you to please take care of him and jerk him off until he cries all while he's being a brat about it and omg i need to stop- i would do literally anything with him ❣︎

jongho. he isn't dominant and he isn't submissive either, he likes to be even with you. but he also likes it rough and isn't above throwing you into a better position or holding you up against the wall. can he pretty please pull my hips to make me go faster while i ride him ? it's not a want, it's a need♥︎

wooyoung. i once described it as hot potato with dom / sub dynamics and i stand by that !! 50 / 50. he's a brat no matter what, dom or sub. and he's filthier than yeosang (who has almost zero things he won't try), wooyoung will try anything and everything once- both receiving and giving. i want to take turns degrading each other to see how far we can go 🝮

mingi. pretty little princess ugh i want to- let me slow down. the new video of him short-circuiting when yunho flirts with him confirms again and again what i already knew in that he is a subby, subby, sub. he likes to let his brain shut down while you make him feel good and do whatever you want, and he's so sweet about it too. he even actives my dominant side and that's kinda rare. wanna hold his pretty blushy face while i ride him until he passes outᰔᩚ

okay i'm gonna go take a very cold shower !! bye byeee

xoxo, 💫

[dissociativewriter]

Unnatural Affinity- Part 6

Isekai!Reader x Love and Deepspace

wc: 2.4k

cw: angst, farspace fleet woohoo, military ranks, caleb uses his gun to direct readers gaze to him (i just know someone’s gonna think its hot, tbh it was kinda me while writing it), power dynamics, reader is hit on, reader is called ma’am, reader is kinda mean and lies but its deserved, mentions of injury and bandages, one (1) curse word, em’s kinda weird in this one tbh, im setting stuff up guys so shh, not proofread, i wrote this in one night so im sorry if its bad

Synopsis: Despite Em’s protests due to your injury, you both set off to finish up the mission at Skyhaven. Breaking into the Farspace Fleet to gain new information is no easy task, and the obsessive interest of the Colonel certainly doesn’t make it easier.

author’s note: I actually have some ideas for future plot points now, but I am going to set up a poll as we get close to the end to see how people want me to end this! If you have any ideas for plot points I should do, send an ask :) ANYWAYS, I’m so glad y’all are liking this series, it genuinely makes me so happy to see all your comments so thank you <3

tag list: @animegamerfox @ixloom819 @magennta09 @an-ever-angry-bi @corvid007 @vigtore @ph1lo-s0ph1a @ameili @babyx91 @sadsaidthesadthing @bidisasterforevermore @liz9898 @iconoclastoc @elegantdeerlady @lifumi @auraficial @plzdonutpercieveme @dolledbunnytail @junebuggz @mangooes @anatherone @skulzooka @yuhuahuaaa @nm4565natty @feikyuu @lunia-likes-pomegranet @xfangirl-trashx @glitterykingdomangel @eialovescats @mimiu3usoft @alyssac9 @000rpheus @novaisbebita @coffeedragonhobbyist @udejoenrlddo @lanxianschoenheit @paper--angel @xyzbeloved @rafayelridesfisheatsfish @myheartfollower @nightmarewasteland @feralwolfkat @junni-berry @chiikasevennn @lethalasylum @loudpiratepirate @sweetnightowl @rafaissance @white-wolves-and-golden-sunrises

Series Masterlist

“I understand that, Jenna!” Em’s voice rang through the apartment, anger building as the conversation continued. “What I don’t understand is how you can expect a person to follow through on a mission with a stab wound!”

You watched her from your spot on the couch, slowly fidgeting with the bandages on your waist, a slight grin on your face. It was funny, watching Em argue for you. You already knew how it would go, though. When you turned in your injury report, Jenna had told you to take a couple days rest, but the mission really could not wait.

You were doing it whether you wanted to or not.

“Can I not just finish the mission on my own?” she asked, exasperated. You heard mutterings on the other end, something about the ‘valuable information’ that was ‘necessary to the mission.’

Meaning, you were necessary to the mission.

Em hung up the call with a defeated sigh, collapsing next to you on the couch. “Sorry,” she muttered. “Looks like you have to finish out the mission with me. Protocol or whatever,” Em scoffed.

You shrugged. “It’ll be fine. Thanks for trying, though.” You smiled. Em grinned, looking away. “What do we have to do next, anyway?”

Em pulled up the mission report on her phone, scanning through the updates and data. “This says our target left the N109 Zone once he realized we were onto him. Nero thinks he’s gone for…” She scrolled a little farther. “Skyhaven.”

It was weird, you thought, that to get to Skyhaven, you had to ride a train.

Sure, it was anti-gravity, but it was still weird, so out of place.

The intercom crackled to life. “The Coelum Express will be arriving at its station in Skyhaven shortly. Please prepare for departure.”

You stood to get your backpack from the overhead rack, but Em gently pushed you back into your seat. “Let me. Don’t want your wound to get worse if you strain yourself.” She shot you a tense smile, pulling it down with ease.

“I’m not made of glass, you know. At least let me do something on my own,” you laughed.

Em shook her head, slinging your bag over her shoulder. “Someone’s got to take care of you.” She pulled down her own bag before offering you her hand. “Ready?”

“I have to be, don’t I?” you sighed, letting her help you up.

As you exited the train, you were met with an overwhelming metallic scent. It permeated the air until it was almost suffocating.

The city gleamed in the sunlight, glinting and reflecting light until it was nearly blinding. Skyhaven was a sight, the pinnacle of the future, and yet so unnerving. It was too clean, lacking any sort of character in the uniform silver architecture.

“Come on, we’ll go to the hotel the Association booked for us and plan our next move.” Before you could respond, Em was already walking, lightly tugging you along by your hand.

“I already have an idea of what we’ll need to do,” you began. “Nero and I found that lot of our target’s connections were in positions of power. In the N109 Zone, that meant businessmen and underworld bosses. In Skyhaven…” You hesitated, earning a suspicious glance from Em. “It’s Farspace Fleet officials.”

Em’s steps halted slightly, her fingers flexing against your own. She kept walking, keeping her focus ahead of her. “We’ll have to infiltrate the Fleet, then?”

You nodded. “We have an identity set up for you, but I don’t have one yet…”

“That’s good,” Em cut you off, “You don’t need to get involved with the Fleet.”

“Yes, I do.” You pulled your hand out of her grip, and Em stopped to look back at you. “I’m a part of this mission, too.”

Em scoffed, shaking her head. Whatever she planned to say, she decided against as she turned away from you again. “Fine,” she muttered.

Once you got into the hotel room, you were pulled into a phone call with Nero.

“I’ve gotten a couple uniforms for you two, which you should have by now, but I only have an identity card that will work for Em. Sorry, but you don’t fit the description,” he apologized.

“It’s alright,” you assured him. “How badly do I need an identity card.

The sound of computer keys clacking on the other end of the phone filled the silence. “You’ll need it to gain access to certain places, but you could probably just lie your way through most of it without one.”

“It’s risky, but it sounds like it’s all we’ve got,” you murmured.

“Yeah, we don’t have many other options,” Nero agreed. “We need both of you on this mission, and we can’t wait any longer.”

Em, listening in from the other room, only gave a hum of disapproval. She walked in, tying the tie on the uniform that had arrived only a few minutes ago.

“Nero, I think we’re going to leave for the Fleet soon. Is there any last minute info I should know?”

“I think you have everything,” he said. A slight hesitation. “Please, be careful.”

You smiled. “I will.”

The Farspace Base loomed on the edge of Skyhaven. Tall and imposing, much like it’s Colonel you could see in the distance, apparently just recently back from a mission in the Deepspace Tunnel.

I’ve got to avoid him at all costs, you thought. Meeting him now could be detrimental to the mission, and you did not want to get caught by the Colonel like Em did in the main story.

Would you be able to withstand an interrogation?

As you crossed through the gate, you didn’t notice the mechanical creak of flapping wings above you.

“I’ll get access to their database, do you think you can talk to some higher ups to get info on our guy?” you whispered to Em.

She nodded. “I’ll make them talk,” she said darkly.

“I guess this is where we split up. Make sure to keep your mic on, and stay safe.”

Em returned your smile. “You too.”

You took off through the base, trying to make it seem like you belonged. You tried to keep your shoulders back, your head high, your steps deliberate. If you looked like you knew where you were going, no one would stop you, right?

Just one issue: You didn’t know where you were going.

The floor plan of the base was one extremely well hidden, and you had only gained access to part of it. Unfortunately, all you knew was that archives were underground.

You stepped into the elevator, thankful that it was empty. As it took you down two floors, you quickly pulled out your phone. Although your internet usage was likely being tracked, you needed to check the floor plan one more time.

You left the elevator, straightening your coat slightly. You passed a few men as you walked down the corridor. You returned any nods given, though you barely spared them a glance. If you didn’t want to be bothered, you thought, it would be better to pretend to be a higher ranking official. Luckily, it seemed no one intended to stop you.

That was, until a whistle cut through the otherwise empty corridor.

“Where you going, sweetheart?” An obnoxious voice rang through the hallway.

Your eyes flicked to the two snickering boys near the door to the archives. Of course they were where you needed to go. Your gaze dropped to their uniforms. No medals or distinct markers of rank.

They were just soldiers.

Pawns.

You rolled your shoulders, praying this wouldn’t end badly. “Is that how you talk to a Lieutenant Colonel?” you barked. Their eyes widened and they straightened from their relaxed stance.

“We’re sorry, ma’am!” They recited.

You shook your head, disappointed. “I wonder what they teach new soldiers nowadays…” Your gaze snapped back to the boys. “My eyes are up here, solider! Stop staring at the ground.”

“Yes, ma’am! Sorry, ma’am.”

You clicked your tongue. “Just be useful for once in your life and open the archives for me.”

They obeyed wordlessly, using their keycards and quickly excusing themselves once the door was open. You walked in, nearly shrinking back from the rows upon rows of filing cabinets.

You took a deep breath, stepping further in and making a mental note of the data you needed to find.

As you opened a file on the central server, you felt an immense pressure pressing down onto you, almost pushing you into the floor.

A cold voice cut through the even colder room. “I wasn’t aware there was a new Lieutenant Colonel. That’s something I would be made aware of, wouldn’t you agree?” Heavy, practiced footsteps behind you nearly stopped your breathing.

You couldn’t bring yourself to say anything, which earned you a sharp inhale from the Colonel as he leaned in next to you.

“Did you honestly think I wouldn’t know you were here?” he asked, an empty humor tinging his voice.

You were silent again.

He sighed, putting the barrel of his gun under your chin, pulling it so that your head turned and your eyes met his. “I asked you a question.”

“No,” you whispered.

He raised an eyebrow. “No…?” he urged.

You swallowed. “No, sir.” You looked down.

The Colonel nudged his gun against your neck. “Keep your eyes on me.” He looked at the computer in front of you, using his free hand to scroll through the documents you’d barely managed to read. “You’re from the Hunter’s Association.” He didn’t wait for your confirmation. Didn’t need to. “We’ve already caught your little friend, so why don’t you be good and cooperate?”

“What… do you need me to do?” you asked.

The Colonel dropped his gun back into its holster, standing tall in front of you. “We need to ensure you don’t know something about the Fleet that you shouldn’t. I need to clarify that you haven’t found out any confidential information if you want to leave. Now, let’s go.”

He didn’t wait for your response as he pulled you by the arm out of the room. He kept his hand firmly around your bicep as he led you through the twists and turns of the base.

Finally, he unceremoniously pushed you into a dim, gray room.

You spotted Em sitting at the empty silver table, and watched relief fill her eyes as she caught sight of you. The door shut and you became acutely aware of the Colonels’ body heat radiating onto you.

“What are you two doing here?” he hissed. You moved closer to Em as he walked forward, leaning over with both hands on the table. “I thought you knew not to try and get into the Fleet again after last time.”

“I’m sorry, Caleb, but we had another mission,” Em explained.

“And you didn’t tell me? Pip-squeak, I thought we talked about this. I just want to keep you safe, why are you making that so hard?” He pinched the bridge of his nose.

“I can’t just abandon my mission every time you think it’s unsafe, Caleb,” she argued.

Caleb only lightly hummed, not looking at either of you. You watched his hands clench against the table, black leather straining against them. “You’ll stay with me while you’re here.” He pushed off the table. “That’s an order,” he said as he left the small room.

You and Em were silent as Caleb picked you up from the hotel, taking you both to his apartment. “I hope I didn’t scare you!” he grinned as he took your bag.

It was odd to see in-game, but the shift in Caleb’s behavior was even more jarring in-person. He was all bright smiles out of the monotonous tones of the Farspace Fleet.

You shook your head, smiling lightly. “It’s alright,” you said.

“I still feel bad. Em scolded me pretty good after I interrogated her when she first infiltrated the fleet. I’ll be cookin’ tonight to make it up to you,” he offered.

Em’s eyes flicked between you and Caleb, scanning for something you didn’t know.

“You don’t have to,” you laughed. You knew he would anyway, of course. As long as Em was there, he’d do anything. But you weren’t sure how much longer you could keep up this polite attitude. It was straining, being constantly on-guard.

“Are you alright?” Em suddenly asked.

You looked at her. “Yeah…? Why?”

“You just looked like something was off. Is it your wound?” She pressed.

Caleb’s brow furrowed. “Woah, woah. You’re injured? And still on a mission?”

“Jenna said I had to finish it out for protocol. It’s fine, really,” you chuckled nervously.

Caleb hummed in disapproval, just like Em did earlier. “I’ll check it for you later, if you’d like.” Although he worded it like an offer, you understood: He was going to check it later, to make sure it was alright whether you liked it or not.

You’d come to expect it, but the protective nature he was showing you that he usually reserved for Em still confused you.

What had happened to make these men act so differently around you?

It almost seemed like they were more comfortable with you than with Em at times.

You ruled out the possibility of knowing each other before, of it being some part of your life in this world that you didn’t remember. That wasn’t an option since Em had introduced you for the first time, and none of them ever said anything to indicate otherwise.

You tried to figure it out later, when you were cuddled into the couch in Caleb’s apartment. You were mindlessly folding paper airplanes after Caleb taught you and Em how.

Maybe it was just some freak accident, you thought as you tossed the paper airplane. It soared for a few seconds, before Caleb walked over.

“Intercepted.” He grinned as he held it afloat with his evol. “You can’t fly without the Colonel’s permission.” Caleb tossed the airplane back to you. “Your punishment?”

This felt familiar, you thought while Caleb pretended to deliberate the matter.

“How about this? You must miss me more with each passing day.”

Shit.

Another Relax Time interaction.

“You two look like you’re getting along well,” Em observed with her arms crossed.

Caleb laughed. “I guess your friend’s just really easy to talk to, pips.”

Em raised an eyebrow.

Was that really it?

You couldn’t help but shift uncomfortably in your sit, feeling like something was different. This didn’t feel like you were simply getting along with each Love Interest, this felt like you had a connection.

So just what was different?

Were you messing things up for Em and the plot?

What would happen to you if you were?

comments and reblogs appreciated! <3

masterlist

[tuliptired]

Ello! Hope Im not a bother, but i was hoping to make a one-shot request? I looked around and it looks like you are still taking requests as of the moment, very sorry if I missed something.

Anyways, if its not too much trouble, could you write Egon Spengler x Baker Y/N? I think that would be a fun dynamic!

If thats not to your liking, what about Egon x Shy Y/N?

Love your works, I check the ghostbusters tag daily to see if youve written anything new. Thank you so much, love ya have a great day and night!!!

How Sweet It Is (To be Loved by You)

Pairing: Egon Spengler/Baker!GN!Reader

It's never too much trouble...no idea if I've used this gif before

did yall hear about the SNL biopic btw oh my gahh...

Better formatting on Ao3! (italics)

Your relationship started with a cupcake. As the story goes, told lovingly by your now mutual friends, there was a bust at a retirement home, and one of the caregivers insisted on sending the boys home with a treat in addition to the hefty bill. Demanded, actually, practically shoving a metal tin full of pastry into Egon’s hands as he attempted to discreetly sneak away.

“Jackpot,” Peter leaned over, happily surprised as nimble fingers opened the lid. The smell of sugary sweets wafted through the car, prompting Winston to extend his hand to the backseat, palm soon full of muffin. Egon was patient, letting everyone take something for themselves, before finally deciding on a blue-iced chocolate cupcake, sweet tooth waiting to be satisfied.

“Where’d this come from?” Ray, Peter, and Winston stood in the kitchen, confused at the spread of different colored boxes and containers. Upon further inspection, they were full of even more cupcakes, each the same blue iced chocolate flavor. Egon sat with his hands folded on the countertop, unfazed at their reactions to his display like any true man of science would be.

He made a tick mark on a long list of names, clipboard somewhere in the organized, delicious chaos. “If you must know, I’m testing every bakery in the area to find the one I ate that evening. I’ve yet to find it.”

Ray shrugged, taking note of just how many locations he had procured food from. “Not the weirdest thing you’ve done for a result,” he admitted.

“Good food’ll do that to you,” Winston laughed, Peter reaching over to gauge how mad Egon would get if he tried to take a sample from one of his possible matches.

Egon didn’t look up, flipping to the next page. “Go ahead, those are the rejects. They'd end up in the trash, anyway.”

Peter peeled away the paper, going through the motions of ripping the bottom of the cake and placing it over the top of the frosting. “Rejects.” he parroted plainly. “What’re you gonna do when you find the right store? Stand in the window?”

He glared up at him above his glasses. “No, I’ll buy a half dozen and go on with my day,” he unfolded a wax lined box, “so if you could leave me to my research?” Research being, going down a line of cupcakes. They each exchanged glances, before filing out. Egon could be just as tenacious as everyone else, when he felt like it.

Except, that tenacity wavered in the face of unfamiliarity. The only reason Egon was willing to go in your bakery to begin with is because the others had forced him. “Don’t be a baby,” as Venkman had put it. He finally found the match, in fact he had found it a few days ago. But he took a glance at the bustling establishment on the day in which he set out on his own, and got cold feet. Especially when he accidentally locked eyes with the smiling artisan while he just stood in the window.

His friends had managed to shove him towards the counter without a second thought. The same person he’d seen through the tall window was behind the counter now, greeting them all kindly. The bandana you had used to keep your hair in check must’ve been failing to do its job, evident by the flour near your temple, caught in a few strands. Egon’s fingers twitched.

Peter flicked him on the lower back when he failed to respond like a typical customer, making Egon come-to and clear his throat. “May I get a half dozen chocolate?” he asked robotically.

“You may,” you grinned at his grammar, “but, chocolate what?”

Egon’s ability to speak stopped short at his misstep, unable to let out anything but unintelligible stammers, and Egon never stammers. “Cupcakes, please,” Ray spoke up for him, catching wind.  

You nodded, moving to the display rack to place his order in a smaller, blue box. Peter wasn’t content with how smoothly this interaction was going as he watched on with a bored expression. “Funny story, actually,” he caught your attention through the framework.

You laughed at how it made him look like he was in a horizontal jail cell. “Yeah?”

Peter raised Egon’s stiff arm for him at the elbow. “We walk in one night and catch Egon with at least 20 different cupcakes, trying to find yours ‘cause he missed it so much.” he regaled.

He may have caught you blushing. Were you blushing? He shouldn’t stare at business owners when they were just trying to work. “Well,” you started folding the corners of the parcel, “assuming you liked them- and you guys are pretty important to the city…” You held them out to him with two hands. “Just take them. No charge.”

Egon felt like there was smoke rising from the top of his head, or the espresso machine, as he shuffled out, and you leaned over the counter to call after him: “Come back anytime, for whatever! On the house!” 

The rest happened slowly, but surely, and you enjoyed it thoroughly. On an earlier morning, you and your pubescent employee were handling the typical rush you got around breakfast. Between prepping, a small burn from the oven, packing orders, ringing people up, and a quick trip to the corner-grocery for more milk, you finally had a spare minute to breathe, both hands pressing into the counter.

A blur of beige and a trail of smog put an end to your mini-relaxation, and you hurried over to the door. “Stantz! Spengler!” you beckoned before they could turn the corner.

Like children, they found their way to your storefront, though Egon looked rather apprehensive with a used trap dangling from his gloved fist. “Good morning, guys,” you urged them inside, “did you eat yet?”

“We really should get going.” Egon said after Ray greeted you. Most of the sickly smell from the trap was left outside, and it was too covered up by the scent of sugar and warmth that everyone but you swore clung to the bakery for you to worry about it driving away customers.

You ignored his protests, crossing behind the counter. “Eat in the morning or you’ll crash in the afternoon,” you started pouring two cups of hot coffee.

“There’s no need-” you interrupted with a hand. “We’re fine,” he continued anyway.

Ray’s stomach betrayed his friend’s wishes. “Something small wouldn’t be so bad.”

“Listen to your friend, Egon.” you warned, adding a bit of whipped cream to both cups to literally sweeten the deal. “You need to eat.”

He frowned, but you didn’t care much. “We have a Class lll in our hands, now is hardly the time for-” you cut him off again, stuffing his mouth with a blueberry danish. As he annoyedly chewed, you procured a paper bag from the back, wrapping his hand around the handle.

“Too bad I already packed for everyone,” you patted his knuckles when he acquiesced, catching sight of what was inside with a small smile. “You’re crabby when you’re hungry.”

Egon opened his mouth to respond, but the contraption in his left hand started beeping. Are they supposed to beep? You’d never seen them do so before. It seemed as if the two experts themselves hadn’t either. 

You stood on your toes to give him a parting kiss, Ray grabbing both paper cups in the meantime before you could start shooing them out. “Go, go- don’t let that thing loose in here. And swing by later, okay?”

He followed your lips when you pulled away, but the ominous beeping drove him to the door and down the street. You sighed to yourself, already missing him. None of the regulars in your store seemed to pay any mind to the local celebrities- or the weapons they had strapped to themselves, as Egon floated in and out during different parts of his day at least once a week.

Egon knocked on the glass door, soft light and music slipping through as he got your attention. When you let him in, the distinct whiff of cookies enveloped him like the warm temperature of your little shop. It was his favorite part of visiting you, apart from actually getting to see you. “How was today?” he spoke over the soft jazz that you apologetically turned down.

“Better,” you were about to run a Crisco covered hand through the front of your hair before you stopped yourself, “better.” Egon only then noticed how many cookies you had managed to make for having only closed an hour ago. “I have more in the oven,” you said from the back wall with the smaller front oven while you hurriedly took out a hot tray with a mitt and put a cool one in.

It wasn’t just cookies, but brownies, sweetbreads, and cinnamon rolls. “Are you…restocking?”

You laughed, a quarter manically and another quarter incredulously, and started to peel cooked pastry off of baking sheets. “If anything, we have too much stock.” you paused your fervor, frowning at your display case’s abundance. “I’ll send you home with some- give them to your clients or eat them or something.” 

You were barely done shutting the sliding glass when you popped up, clapping your hands once and frankly startling him. “Pies! I know what I need to make now! I’ll make some pies and maybe a cake and we can head home.” Before you could disappear into the kitchen, he stepped in your way, two soothing hands on your shoulders.

“You’re stress baking.” 

Egon couldn’t hide his amusement at your familiar despondent expression, as if you were coming down from a high. “Was it that obvious?”

“Somewhat,” he stroked up and down your arm, steering you to the stool you kept tucked away behind the register and pulling up a chair for himself on the other side. “What’s wrong?”

He enjoyed the chairs you had because of their structural variety, and the fact they didn’t make him feel like a giant. 

You slumped your head into your since-dried hands, groaning out of frustration. “It’s just the season, I guess. A ton of people come by, bringing their dumb boyfriends-” you paused, realizing what you said, “no offense.”

“None taken.”

“-And they come looking at our stuff to see if we’re good enough for, like, baby showers and weddings and all that.”

A car passed by on the street, definitely above the city’s speed limit for a business area. “I assume that’s a good thing?”

“It’s great,” you sat up, “we want people to pick us. But it means everything has to look great, and we have to get ready for half a million custom orders.”

That would be a partial reason for the sudden uptick in inventory, combined with the pressure to make a good first impression. But you were working so aimlessly hard that you looked crazed, all by yourself. “Your employees aren’t willing to help?” Egon questioned.

You stood, addressing the heaps of different cookies, the only creation of yours without a home. “They are. But they’re kids- I can’t work them that hard. It’s probably illegal, too. They won’t be around for the next couple of days anyway.”

He could sympathize with your plight- backed into a seasonal corner that business owners just had to get used to. “I’m sorry,” Egon offered, “I’m not as skilled in your trade, but is there anything I can do to make it easier?”

You smiled your first genuine smile since he arrived. “There is, actually,” your tone was excited as you moved to the freezer, “just let me finish these and I’ll fill you in.”

Egon would’ve stopped you from continuing to try to work, but he relaxed when you brought out pre-prepared bags of icing and miscellaneous confectionaries, knowing that decoration was the more relaxing aspect of the art. 

He both sat in comfortable quiet as you put all your focus into icing, piping, and arranging.  It was pleasant, knowing that you had something so ardent that you cared so deeply about, even if it was dismissed as a mere hobby while you were close to collapsing to exhaustion in the bakery you financed on your own. It was a mix of career and craft- one of the many reasons he had grown to give you his utmost respect.

You were eventually done, making the task of embellishing countless treats look effortless. You handed him a cookie, which he gladly took. “I need you to be honest,” you counted on his affinity for sweets. He took a bite, surveying the dessert after the initial pleasure your baking always brought him.

“Raspberry compote,” Egon took a second, “and coffee icing.”

“Good job!” you scribbled something down on a spare slip of paper after springing the register drawer open. “Rating?”

“10/10”

“Honest.”

“That is my honesty. But if you wanted the unweighted scale, 7/10. The two flavors balance each other very well.”

You passed him another, which he promptly ate without being asked to. “On the crumbly side. Is that intentional?”

A nod. “A little less butter than usual. Old ladies tend to like those.”

He put a hand on his chin contemplatively. “6/10- marmalade. A softer version would get a higher placement, it would be a shame to lose interest from those who don’t fit the demographic.”

You copied down what he said, seemingly happy with any sort of feedback. “And here I thought I’d have to help you cross the street.”

The night went on like that for a while, and Egon grinned to himself at the parallels he had only just noticed- another mix of career and craft, now inquiry and indulgence. You looked like a proper scientist- or, a food scientist, scrawling down notes and numbers that he’s sure only you would be able to decode. He felt the corners of his face dimple in a familiar smile while he watched you- something he’d found himself doing much, much more.

“What?” you raised an eyebrow, suspicious of his joy.

“Nothing,” Egon excused himself, “you just look incredibly nice.”

 You squeezed the hand that he rested on the counter, silently appreciative. “Thanks- for that, and for helping me out. Let me get you home before you barf.”

He’d learned to live with the indecencies, helping you tidy up the best he could without breaching the system of organization you had. When you returned from the back with your personal things, he let you loop your arm around his for the semi-short journey home.

Egon only let you go so you could lock the door, and he stared at your back for the entire time that you did. “If I were having a baby shower, I’d come here.”

There were practically stars in your eyes. “Really?” 

“Really.” You planted a gratuitous kiss to the side of his face, before setting off towards his apartment.

Over the course of a few days, your boyfriend showed up earlier in order to take you into work, and keep you company as you tried to quell the impending anxiety. When regulars faded out and new faces came in- possible clients, you assured him with a non convincing tone that he had a job, too. If your ego was bigger, you’d be bragging about the compliments and inquiries your store got, not to mention the referrals to friends regarding special upcoming events. But, entrepreneurship had taught you to be humble, so you were resigned to spilling it all over a phone call to the firehouse.

One morning, you forced Egon out before anyone could arrive, asserting that he had a day off and he should find a way to relax. He asserted that this was how he relaxed, but you had a key to the front door and he didn’t, so that solved that. 

Not long after he was gone, you were hastily punching his number in, bouncing on your heels and out of breath.

“Hello?"

“Rich girl- eloping- needs a wedding cake- lots of money,” you forced out like you were out of air, already seeing dollar signs in tandem with the minutes you were losing. “But I have a crazy favor to ask.”

Very soon, “OPEN” was flipped to “CLOSED (sorry)” and you put on your serious business apron. Egon stood behind you, unsure of what to do as you jumped from here to there, double checking that you had absolutely everything you needed.

You only stopped when you realized that he wasn’t in the proper attire. “C’mon, Spengler,” you chastised him while cinching the strings of a smock around his waist.

“Game plan,” you led him to the back where all the industrial sized equipment was, “three tiers, green and pink, white cake. She gave me creative freedom, so I’m kinda flying blind.”

Egon’s eyes were on you as you laid out a few large bowls. “Have you ever…made a wedding cake on such short notice? I assumed they take days.”

“They do! And they’re the one thing I swore to never sell!” He looked disappointed in you, but you weren’t fazed, grabbing both of his hands. “$1,500,” Egon’s eyes widen as you continued, “think of what that could buy.”

He pushed up the bridge of his glasses like a flustered schoolboy. “That’s…a lot of copper wiring.”

“So many new mixers! And without the down payment! That’s why we need to start while we already have the time.”

Realistically, it was more of you starting everything while Egon was subjected to measuring or throwing away eggshells. But, you eventually gave him bigger responsibilities, as there was no way you’d be done in time for the impromptu-wedding if you worked one-by-one. 

You turned from what you were doing after instructing him to mix the batter for the top layer, being met with his bare forearms, dress shirt sleeves rolled up to his elbows.

“What?” Egon noticed your commotion halting. “Am I overmixing?” 

You didn’t answer, still staring at his toned arms. He should help out more often- your stand mixer cutting out on you must’ve been a blessing in disguise. Your blatant ogling was cut short when he stopped his ministrations, resting the whisk against the lip of the bowl.

“Don’t get distracted.” He tried to sound condemnatory, but it was hard to feel scolded when the scholar had on one of your teenaged employee’s spare pink bibs around his front and he was almost bent over the edge of the counter space in the midst of his focus.

You could breathe a little easier when the timer went off for the tiniest layer’s completion in the biggest oven. You took the searing pan out carefully, and your worry spiked again when you saw how dark the unfrosted dessert was along the top. You went through a list of things that might’ve gone wrong-  was the oven at the right temperature? Setting? You definitely let it bake for the right time. It wasn’t until you saw a pair of little cylinders, tucked away in the havoc, that you put two and two together.

“Which one of these did you use?”

Egon looked like a mix of confused and concerned. “This one, baking soda.”

That’s how he got put out your kitchen for a considerable amount of time, until he knocked at the round window separating you both.

“Are you sorry?”

A pause. “Not anymore than I was 20 minutes ago.”

“I’m locking the door.”

He was allowed back in after a long and rehearsed apology. Soon, all tiers were baked, except for the base, and you were aching all over. The whole cake process never got any less demanding on you.

Egon must’ve seen how you stretched your arm across your chest before you tried to continue on anything. “Are you feeling okay?” 

“I’ll be fine- just sore.” you answered truthfully, before slightly jumping at the feeling of hands wrapping around your middle.

“Take a break,” he herded you to a folding chair you kept in there- the only chair. You were slotted in between his knees, thoroughly confused. He only got like this every blue moon.

It did feel great to be off your feet for a second, despite your cushy sneakers. “What’re you getting at?” 

His strong hands made work of your tense biceps. “Nothing lascivious. I just think you should save your energy for the important part,” you stifled a noise at his doctoral tone and the way his thumbs kneaded at the space in between your shoulder blades, “and you’ve been working very hard.”

“Baking makes you a freak,” you scoffed, but hedonistically let him continue to dote on you.

Soon it was time to keep moving, attractive masseuse or otherwise. You put Egon in charge of coloring the buttercream while you ran out to the store for the second time in only a few days, making a mental note to use some of the bride-to-be’s payment to keep a consistent supply of the little things.

When you returned, though, it wasn’t as you had expected. You picked up the metal bowl full of neon icing incredulously. “I said green, not snot!”

“I made green,” he didn’t budge, not seeing how gaudy this would look in the middle of a reception hall.

You pushed a finger in between his brows. “You’re such a guy,” you remarked, regardless of your own gender, as you hassled him out of the way. “Watch.” 

With a bit of red, the bright green dulled into a paler color, fit for a wedding. “Can I trust you with pink?” you asked as if he was a child.

Egon’s expression was unreadable. “No promises.”

Half of the green was shoveled into piping bags when he was finished, presenting the baby pink mixture to you like a project would be presented to a teacher. “That’s better,” you started, taking the bowl while he kept the spatula. You’d assumed that Egon was going to wash it or scrape off the excess or something, but your eyes squeezed shut as something cold and tacky hit your nose.

Frosting, pink frosting. His audacity. You took the green spatula, getting him back on the cheek. That led to him getting you back on the forehead, ear, chin, and eventually some strays ended up in the corner of your mouth, which he was more than happy to take care of. Baking really made him a freak, you thought. You probably shouldn’t be kissing over someone’s wedding memorabilia, but you shortly noticed that was the icing for each tier and its decoration. You lost an hour cleaning and starting from scratch on the buttercream, steering clear of each other in a respective corner each.

You had another hour to eat a late dinner while each tier chilled in the freezer, setting the white icing you painstakingly leveled to their surface area. When you returned, it was time for the assembly, the second most dreaded process. “I’m scared,” you confessed, just about to push down the first dowel.

Egon got eye level with the top, squinting. “You’re just about perfect.”

Your nerves got the better of you. “How can you tell?” 

“I calculated.”

He was to keep calculating until all three cakes were secure on each other, bringing on the actually grueling part: decoration. You could design anything easily, after years of practice on your skills and ability to freehand- but a wedding cake was just so intimidating. That was part of the reason you vowed to never try again, how easy failure was staring you down in the form of little white fondant flowers. Egon let you take the reins on this, disappearing from your narrow field of vision. You honed in your knowledge of swirls, mini roses, and the drape style that was still in fashion among traditional couples. You were bent in all sorts of ways to make sure every bit of sugar that left the tip of the plastic bag came out perfect, for a perfect pair of newlyweds. Or newlyweds with perfect pocketbooks.

Time got away from you when the final detail was placed, and you stepped away like it was a bomb. “Is it done? Are we done?” you looked for confirmation. “How does it look?”

Egon’s torso stopped you from running off somewhere. “It looks perfect.”

The giant thing was stowed away to wait until you were scheduled to drop it off the next morning, and a weight was taken off your chest. You let the faucet run over materials, mind somewhere else with the rush of running water.

“It’s so sweet when it’s all done,” you spoke up, scrubbing crusted batter off of a tin, “weddings feel so magical.” 

You thought back to the agreement you made with your boyfriend of a handful of years: nix a big ceremony, celebrate with friends when the time felt right. The time always felt right to you; you’d drag him to the courthouse at the drop of a hat. Perhaps there was an even right-er time out there, written somewhere in your future.

Egon wiped down all the surfaces. “I agree.” he voiced from across the counter, taking a pause. “You’re not…angry with me? For taking as long as I am?”

You laughed at that, drying your hands. You crossed over to him, a hand on his chest. “Not at all. I trust you.” He had ditched the tie at some point after you had to make a new batch of icing. “If you’re offering…”

“Give me some more time to make it special.”

You brushed away some of his hair that had come loose in the heat of your scullery. “How much more time?” your voice was soft.

Egon thought about it for a moment. “What’s 5 more years?” He laughed heartily at the groan you let out, resting his head on yours.

“Really?” your voice broke over the phone. “I’m sorry…I’ve never- I don’t know,” you forced yourself to take a shallow breath, “I’ll work on getting your deposit back.”

You didn’t know what to think or feel when you ended the call, but thoughts of wasted hours, materials, lost profit, all flooded your mind as you attempted to calm yourself. You rested your head underneath where the phone was mounted on the wall, rubbing at your temples to sedate an oncoming headache.

“What happened?” Egon asked at your back, with you again in the early morning as he scored another day off. You didn’t turn to face him, trying your best to blink back embarrassing tears.

“She canceled. We made the cake for nothing- there’s no wedding, I-” 

Egon was on a knee, in the middle of your homely bakery. Your frustration evolved into pure confusion. “What’re you-”

There was a blue, velvet box in his hands with a glinting band inside of it. Before he could get a word out, you were on the floor too, tears free flowing. “You can’t do this now,” you clutched the fabric of his pants when he moved to hold you. “I look horrible.”

His free hand dried your tears, though more would keep on appearing in their wake. “I’m sorry this is so overdue.”

Your hands gently held onto his jaw to know this was real. “When was the right time?” 

“A long, long time ago. I just needed to find a way to make it special.” He looked hesitant before continuing, “I hope you don’t mind having made your own wedding cake.”

You blinked. “You’re the worst!” you joked exasperatedly, falling with him into a hug on the floors you were happy you mopped. “That was all you?”

“Why do you suppose her down payment was a multiple of 18?”

“They didn’t.” 

“Consider it a group gift, I suppose.” Egon smiled underneath you. You sat in the giddy silence of two people, soon to be wed, when he gingerly asked the question

“Will you?”

Your boyfriend- fiancé, went through so much trouble to make the moment one you could look back on happily. Who could refuse?

“I will.”

[npookie0]

hi dj again.....erm headcanons or movie night you choose

(he asked for man6o (og li's + feluca)

Slaughterhouse_Losers.man6o

for your infomation i am just ediitng the old headcanons i did for m4ngo becuase they still work for me i'm just adding feli and luca here because a) im sleepy b) i still have the same headcanons

as usual cws: spoilers for killer chat, what spoilers? no idea, just spoilers (im so funny at 1 am i swear)

Their Dynamic :

Their dynamic is ... interesting from each side. I will make each member's pov on the relationship to make it easier for me and you all hopefully!

I don't think they all got together at the same time. Ronin dated Angel first, Misaki joined after some time (probably a long time) after that were FeLuca I think they'd join together and before V, maybe even together with Misaki. So last but not least is V, yes he still joins last and still is super complicated about it cause RoNiN iS tHeRe

Ronin : He is, I would believe, one of the leading people in the relationship, it is, of course, equal, but Ronin would still take the lead more often than not. He'd be the one to plant the seed of this polycule.

Angel : In a way she's the second leading power in this relationship, not even because she's the person who Ronin dated first, but because she is the one to keep everything as calm as possible (especially between V and Ronin) she's also the pretty girl with her two scary dog privileges and one silly cat

Misaki : They're a thrill giver, chaotic peace keeper, troublemaker and the one to give date ideas for the most part. She is, surprisingly, the most chaotic of them all, Ronin may be a deranged guy, but Misaki is THE silliest and most chaotic assassin this world ever had. They also are the most active when it comes to call and messages, dms, group chat, Misaki has it all covered with their messages or random pictures.

Feli: The comfort and bully of the groups, she'd organise opera evenings or watching musicals in the comfort of (obv) V's home, but she'd also totally bully them like she does Luca, she's a diva like that also she is usually trying to help Angel go in between Ronin and V if they argue.

Luca: The golden retriever of the group, game nights, yapping, story times, he does it all. Luca brings the positive vibes and easy moments in the relationship, his love is chill after all.

V : He made sure to do some serious research on poly relationships and made sure that him and his partners made a list of rules and boundaries that they'd like to keep in the relationship so it's not too messy.

Poly Dynamic :

I think they could be a form of Vee but with six people? The Vee actually being on Ronin's and V's ends, in a scenario where we look at V as well the canon V who hates Ronin's guts, but still cares for the rest of the server it would make sense that he wouldn't want to date Ronin, but would want to date Angel, Feli, Luca and Misaki while accepting that they still would want to date Ronin because they love him.

But. In the scenerio where V starts to feel something towards Ronin and they actually are a ... square so to speak, they could be a Non-Hierarchical Polyamory. They don't need to live together, do everything as a four and spend all day every day together, but when it comes to important decisions and plans they make them together.

Who Joined When and Why?

Ronin and Angel started dating, he needed someone to heal his heartache after the loss of Ther, and Angel being his friend before and also needing someone after all the terrible men in her life and not feeling threatened by Ronin (by him being a man following toxic masculinity and wanting power over her) was the perfect person for that. They are each others reasons to live in a way, learned and healed a lot.

Misaki joined Rangel first. It was a few months after they joined the server. They charmed Ronin and Angel and she also fell for the two. Though at the start Misaki was very oblivious and didn't realise that they were actually dating, they only realised it when Ronin called them his partner and it became a new joke from Ronin for the next weeks.

FeLuca joined some time after Misaki( and after they got together ), they were really into Misaki since they were the closest to the age, but then Feli's lil fucked up arsonist nature fell for Ronin and Angel and Luca holds a bunch of love in his heart too and I believe that he'd still join even if he was even crushing a lil on Ronin or/and Angel just for the vibes and to make Feli happy (he would be happy too.)

V was the last and most reluctant to join, one of the main reasons was Ronin's obvious presence in the relationship, the second main reason was his lack of understanding in poly relationships and experience in any kind of relationships that are romantic. His main reason(s) for joining was Misaki or/and Angel being in the relationship and him being too in love to give up on his feelings even if he had to bear Ronin's presence. He also took some time getting used to the idea of dating Feli and Luca.

Some More Headcanons :

Misaki crocheted them all little keychains with their symbols, so they all have a tooth, a skull, a cat, a dolphin, a lighter and a snake.

V sponsors himself, Angel, Ronin, Feli and Luca a flight to Japan to visit Misaki every now and again, sometimes he sends Misaki, Feli and Luca a plane ticket to Elysium so they all can spend together in real life. He just wants all of them to be able to spend time together without forcing anyone to use their money when they might be in a taught spot (looks at Misaki) He also makes sure that Feli is feeling alright during and after these long travels.

Angel now has 5 people having a "selfie for self care" pact with her instead of 1 and 5 people who explain in their own ways that Finian isn't treating her well and that she should take care of it and that saving herself is not a bad thing.

V had long battles when he entered the relationship, dating a cannibal even if her kills were for similar reasons to his was conflicting. He also got a chance to observe Ronin more and learn more about him when he opened up, though it did not change his opinions about the nature of his kills (at least the innocents)

Ronin is never alone for Christmas, they all hang around V's place and just spend time in a way that won't be too Christian festive, but just a day for them to enjoy their company in their own way.

Luca forced all of them to listen to his fav kpop bands and they all sponsored him a ticket to his fav band's concert.

Feli picks out her favourite musical for each of her partners and asked them to watch the one she picked for them and then eagerly waits for their opinions.

A Surprise Relationship Chart :

(this was a war omfg)

YOU BETTER BE HAPPY DJ ;w;

anyways

GOODNIGHT

[multiheadcanons]

hiya! (distinctly not-in-prison voice) maybe not enough for a full post (or maybe it is?) but what are your favorite things/traits to write about the mercs individually? :0

oooo that’s a good question! i’ll just answer that now and go down the list lol!

scout has never been one of my personal favorites but after comic 7 he really shot up! it’s been more fun to me to think about what shaped him to make these decisions at such a young age… it’s been fun! scout has a very dynamic personality, but he’s almost harder to write for because he is so dynamic! so he’s a character i have to put a little more thought into when i write about him.

soldier is just so goofy to write about in general sometimes i can sit and think “what’s the absolute worst way to handle this? okay that’s how soldier would do it.” and then when i read it back i go “wow… soldier absolutely would do this” but i take a lot of the trauma and i put it on blu soldier bc i watched emesis blue on loop for like a week straight and it permanently changed how i view the blu team tbh

pyro is another fairly easy writing session because pyro is the one that i throw shit at the wall and see what sticks and what doesn’t. pyro’s paragraphs are the ones that get edited the most, because i’ll write something then go “no, i got one better” so pyro, for me, has become quite an interesting character that i… still know hardly anything about! and i really enjoy it! i like that there’s a character im just… slowly carving out of pyro. it’s always a fun writing prompt!

demo is one of the harder mercs to write for, because he’s just so… specific to me. i have a lot of thoughts on demo that i have no idea how to word quite yet, so i always get stuck on him. he’s almost indescribable. but i find ways to do it. he feels like a guy with so much nuance who got such little time, and it’s taking me a while to parse through the little information we have and make something of it that feels right.

heavy has very. quickly. become one of my absolute favorite mercs to write about. i never thought that would be the case. i am the baby of my family, with older brothers, and i have a soft spot for the trope of an older brother character. but heavy feels so weirdly real. like him and snipes are the most regular, mentally stable members of the team, and i love letting it show. i just have grown to really enjoy writing about heavy all around. he’s fun to play with.

engie used to be hard to write about and then i spent a week thinking about him and ever since he has been a very easy guy to write. at least what i decided to take from canon and what i deserted from fanon interpretation. engie, for me, falls under an odd category of having a very particular fanon interpretation that felt hard to remove him from; so i turned towards what we canonically know and grew him out from there. so far, i’ve really enjoyed the dell that has emerged!

if you can’t tell, i…. love the medic. i love writing everything about him. i love making him the evil vicious mastermind. i love making him a stupid brat who got too much freedom and love as a child. i love writing him flustered. i love writing him pissed past the point of accurate perception. i love writing him bored. i love writing him overjoyed, i love writing him inquisitive. i will write and write about him until i am forcibly removed from the keyboard. i seethe over him, i stew over him, i give an occasional stir to the pot, i breathe in the fumes. liquefy that man, put him in an IV bag and hook him up to my arm immediately. i need him. he has overtaken my photos. i have not stopped thinking about him for the past decade. this could become a medic exclusive headcanon blog and i could post three times a day without fail.

snipes is also kind of hard to write about! he’s also very specific to me, and sometimes it’s hard to put down into words. but i really enjoy writing his more casual, easygoing side! it’s fun to imagine snipes in a less professional setting; but writing him as a professional is where i am best with snipes. still love him though!

and finally; spy. spy has also been a surprisingly fun guy to write about! he’s almost like pyro in the sense that i feel like i’m having to carve someone out of him because it feels like we know so little, and he’s like engie in the sense that what we do know is almost set in stone to the fandom, and it’s been fun making him something a little different! he’s fun to make a gremlin! it’s fun to ask myself “you know… where did scout get some of this”

and yeah! that’s all of them! truthfully i just enjoy the entire process of writing about Da Boyz, they’re fun to think about, and it’s been a blast making my own little versions of these guys! and they seem to be well regarded by those who read about them! and that fills me with the good feelings!

and you know what, i wasn’t gonna consider this a post on its own, but…

oh! by the way!

see you in six posts ;)

[cassketti]

Listen. Incomphrensible yapping GO.

For shepman. We gotta talk abt how Gordon’s got trauma from the HECU. It’s not necessarily like too much abt him hating the military for killing his colleagues specifically, I mean it is that but I feel like with my freeman he just feels way too much guilt and self burden, okay ya thats a factor. But its the mask. Whenever Gordon sees the two bright green circles he just automatically registers that as a kill.

Now okay. I gotta remember the hwhole point of the game is that u gotta think abt the enemies logically, like puzzles, not just actively shoot at them when u see one. So to some extent gordon doesnt just automatically wind up his gun at green bean grunts when he sees one. However, the sight of one is just instinctively placed as an enemy in his mind.

So. In the case of Adrian. Lets say mmm. How would they meet…. Im gonna name a list of scenerios and just tlak abt it then.

Lets talk abt if they met in Xen. If Adrian didnt fall and die. Okay now. Immiedately Gordon tries to kill Adrian. Now i dont remember shit… its been a hot while since I played it errmm. But at some point, or just very quickly, Gordon runs out of ammo and whatever. So throughout the level Gordon is just actively running away from Adrian, while also trying to get Adrian somehow killed as possible, all the while Adrian is just chasing Gordon cuz shit he doesnt know where he is gordons the only person who could help him and hes tryna kill him. 🤷🤷 adrians just like “damn bruh wait waiiitttt stop tryna kill me Im not going to hirt u damn damn damnn!!!!”

At some point. Prob with. Whats fhe thigns name. Was it gargantua. Or no isnt that like the big monsters that spirs fire our of its hands u see in the. Mesa. Look. The big headcrab with the big nutsaxk. Okay so. They prob did have to work together at some point. But gordon was lowkey using Adrian alot as bait for it cuz green mask = bad guy = must die. So so. Ig they wouldve defeated it but still got stuck together. And like Gordon and Adrian r just sitting together in silence for like a hot moment before Adrians like .”😅😅😅eruumm… so. So. Do you know… any of this.. what is this place exactly… 😅😅” and Gordon just immediately goes into monkey brained fighting mode yk jumps at adrian likes hes a five nights at freddys jumpscare. He starts prying at the mask specifically… idk how to elaborate on dat. But rhe mask is like a central thing to their dynamic okay. And adrians like “DAMN DAMN DAMN BOY!!!! STOP PRYING ON MY MASK IDK IF U CAN EVEN BREATHE IN THIS PLACE”. Adrian like. He doesnt rlly have any intention of hurting anyone but he does wrestle Gordon off, yk pins him down so he can stop actign all giddy goose idk. And Adrians like “okay dude I rlly am not trying to hurt anyone rlly. Like I can give u some space for a bit and have u collect ur thoughts or what not. I just need someone to explain what the hell is going on cuz I’m just as confused and scared as you are” At this point.

Like if adrian and Gordon didnt meet at this point Gordon wouldve went off and did his own thing kill the ninahlalahallth what not. But since like he has the time to really process everything, and like he’s got someone on his ass trying to ig somewhat comfort him, a HECU soldier out of everything, Gordon kinda has like a breakdown. Now wheather hes mute or not, Gordon just repeatedly and mindlessly apologizes to Adrian with whatever form of communication ur thinking of. And Adrian’s like kinda confused. Or kinda not. OH WAIT. I gotta also add in.

Idk I havent played the game in a hot while but. If this takes place like after Adrian saw Gordon Freeman’s face on the employee of the month picture, followed with ppl constantly mentioning freeman. Some of the dots r already connected in Adrians head and Adrians like. He doesnt know exactly what happened other than everyone for some reason is either agaimst him or counting on him for some reason. Adrian just didn’t gaf, he had orders that he hasnt yet received and doesnt know. So Adrian doesn’t know what to do, ue has no idea why Gordon would be apologizing to him this random hecu soldier, which feom everything hes seen so far, its the hecu who should be apologizing if anything.

So like Adrians just like. “Dude I wont kill you I promise like I dont even know whats going on and I dont have any backup or backup plan or anything so why am I going to kill you” over and over agin cuz he doesnt even know what to do with Gordon’s mindless apologies. Which, ig gives Gordon reassurance, and also humanizes Adrian in his eyes. But depsite everything its like, that mask still has Adrian put in the enemies catagory, and Gordon still has this instinctive urge to try and kill Adrian. So gordon in a way is struggling to see Adrian as like, a person person.

But prob it would end with like Gordon and Adrian killing the Nilalnitninth together. And gman taking them both, separately.

Remind me on how Adrian views gordon later

Okay thats just like pt1. In this specific scenerio. In pt 2 Ill talk abt like Gordon meeting RTR adrian. Which would be interesting cuz in this case this is like 20 years later and Gordon hasnt seen black mesa or the hecu in a few hot weeks or so in his perspective. And yk he doesnt think hes safe or whatever but he def feels like the troubles back in half life 1 is gone. Until he sees Adrian’s mask AGAIN and it gives uim flashbacks yadayada we’ll talk abt dat later

[voltaridylla]

What are you headcanons concerning Bebe's parents? We don't have proper names for them, do we? How'd you imagine they met and what their relationship is like. How that influenced Bebe and her relationship with them of course.

OKAY IM SO SAD BECAUSE I HAD DRAWINGS OF THEM BUT I ACCIDENTALLY DELETED THE PAGE WHEN I WAS HALF ASLEEP 😭 anyways. A lot of this is based purely on speculation and my own thoughts from episodes like Bebe’s Boobs, Spoiled Whore and TFBW !! I was desperate to yap about this so I’m happy hehe.

-They’re both unnamed so I decided to call them: Elanore Stevens and Justin Bonetti. Elanore is typical Welsh, Irish, French and German ancestry while Justin is Italian American. Basing this purely on vibes.

-Elanore Stevens is the matriarch. Justin took on her name when they got married. Basing this on the throw away line « Stevens women are very smart. » I just think it implies that it’s HER side of the family not her dads.

-I don’t have a story of how they met but I think it would be funny if they were college or highschool sweet hearts. Elanore had a few boyfriends while Elanore was Justin’s first or second proper relationship. Based on dynamics? what I have in mind is: Elanore is the main provider while Justin is a stay at home dad. In the FBW he is seen at home washing dishes (quote unquote traditionally ‘women’s’ roles.) For example, she’s the one who has the final say, makes the plans and is particular about every detail - while Justin is happy to help where he can, be the person she can wind down with and he gives her the needed massages.

-With that in mind, I think she works as a hair dresser. There’s something about her vibe that SCREAMS hairdresser to me - partially because back in my home country all of the hairdressers looked and dressed like her lmfao. It would also explain why Bebe’s curly hair is well taken care of - this will overlap with another point in a bit.

-I think while yes Mrs Stevens is a ditz, a bit dotty. I think she’s more on the social side, she attends all of the town’s meetings takes part in their demonstrations/protests so this could parallel her and Bebe’s need for being perceived as ‘better’ than they actually are. Bebe saw her mother making such a point about showing their faces to every event, even if she didn’t care about it. She’d converse with the other mothers and yet none of them invited her to sit with them (this is me noticing how all of the moms in the later seasons never have her around. It’s probably not deep but it works for my headcanons lol.) It’s all for show and it’s why Bebe grows up with this NEED to have control in how she’s viewed.

-Bebe gets her romantic heart from her mother too, they’d rent romcoms and watch them together. Elanore has terrible relationship advice, a bit more on the traditional side, perhaps because heartbreak isn’t nice and she doesn’t want her daughter having to go through so much searching. She’d say things like “oh he’s just a boy, they all make mistakes” and the likes and in turn this does explain a reason for why Clyde and Bebe are stuck together.

-So back to the hairstylist point - I took this from @kennys-parka-jacket’s headcanon list because I think the idea is really sweet. For years Bebe tried to separate herself from her mother, viewing her as kind of stupid and unintelligent, but as she gets older they do get closer or at least form a bond. Bebe goes to her hair salon and in PC - Bebe wears similar makeup to her mom, it would be cute if they bond over the more mundane things, like fashion, celebrity gossip, shoes and makeup and that’s where they really get on.

-As for her dad: Justin and Bebe are very close. With the line at the end of Spoiled Whore being “from now on you’ll dress like a little girl.” There’s something about it that says to me he would be a positive male role in Bebe’s life since we see how she’s been objectified and that could damage just about anyones self perception. Maybe it’s odd and I don’t want to sound weird but I think he would value his daughter wanting to not care about appearances just based on that line. To be a ‘little girl’ and I can see her and her dad having a close bond and being the figure she goes to after a bad break up. Justin and Bebe talk too, he would be the one to know about Bebe’s friend groups, the drama and he’d do his best to at least give advice.

-I can see Elanore ranting as well to Justin about why Bebe only ever seems to go to him over her but that’s just an idea that came to mind as I’m typing.

A lot of this centres around Bebe’s mom but I hope you like some of these rambles !!! I wish they’d get more screen-time in the show since with the crumbs we have it’s really intriguing to me.

[hot-claws-420]

[A webcam has clearly been left on by mistake. Sally sits on her hospital bed with her datapad in her lap, scrolling away with her one arm. She still looks quite thin from the months on IV drip, but better than the last time she was on screen.]

[The sunset-red hardlight form enters the room. The Lioness perks up immediately as her companion drifts into the room. As she tosses the datapad to the side, a toothy smile spreads across her features.]

hey Sunny!!

[HELLO, {PILOT}. HAVE YOU EATEN?]

mhm! foods r solid again 2! nurse Penny said i could go 2 some bbq with u? im excited 2 eat yumby meat!

[Sunny returns her smile.]

[THAT IS WONDERFUL, MY {PILOT}. AND HOW DO YOU FEEL?]

kinda shit tbh but lotts and lotts better!! getting pissed off that i havnet been let in the workshop tho. i want 2 work on the prosthetic.

[I SEE...]

[She looks at her pilot thoughtfully.]

[DO YOU HAVE THE ENERGY TO DISCUSS SOMETHING, {PILOT}? SOMETHING {IMPORTANT}?]

[It frowns.]

u alrite? wuts wrong?

[OH, {NOTHING} IS WRONG... IT IS A GOOD THING, I {HOPE}.]

[The hardlight sits beside her. Xeir weightless form does not compress the bed, thought it does disturb the blanket and sheets.]

ok..? so u gonna gonna give me a hint or?

[PROCESSING...]

[There is a brief silence in which the only sound is the soft buzzing of the hardlight as the unshaven side of Sunny's head burns and flows with the golden flame of her hair.]

[DISABLING HIGHER INHIBITION PROTOCOL.]

[{I LOVE YOU}.]

aww!! i luv u 2 Sunny!1 u know that!

[Xey blink twice, very slowly.]

[{PILOT}, I... {ROMANTICALLY}. I {LOVE} YOU.]

[The heart monitor in the by the bed already had a quick rhythm. Sunny doesn't seem to notice it increase as she continues. Nor does she notice her Pilot's wide eyes.]

[I HAD MUCH TIME TO {REFLECT} WHILE YOU WERE {COMATOSE}, SALLY. I REFLECTED ON MY FEELINGS TOWARD {YOU}. EVER HAVE WE BEEN A MATCHED {PAIR}. TWO HALVES OF A {WHOLE}. BUT BEYOND THE ROLES WE FIT CURRENTLY... I FIND MYSELF {YEARNING} FOR ANOTHER FORM OF {INTIMACY}. I... I HAVE COME TO UNDERSTAND THAT I AM {DESPERATELY} IN LOVE WITH YOU, {PILOT}. MY COMPILED LIST OF REASONS FOR THIS IS MEASURED IN {TERABYTES}. YOU MAKE ME WANT TO {IMPROVE} MYSELF SO THAT I MAY {LOVE} YOU ALL THE BETTER. I HAD FEARED THAT THIS MAY CHANGE OUR DYNAMIC WERE YOU TO NOT FEEL THE SAME WAY... BUT SAYING NOTHING WOULD BE WORSE, I... THINK...]

[She drifts off as she finally looks at Sally's face again. There is no gray to be found. Bright red in its place. Her eyes are saucers. Her mouth opens and closes in a rapid stammer as she attempts to form a sentence - any sentence - in response.]

[{PILOT}?]

[The monitor beeps a little faster. Xey finally hear it. Xey smirk, perhaps a little evilly, as xey come to understand.]

w-woah... t-that... t-thats fuckin awesome...

[Sunny giggles, smiling warmly.]

do u think. uh. um. do you t-think we. uM. uh...

[YES?]

[Xey goad her on teasingly. It seems they had no reason to be nervous. Though, Xey take no small enjoyment in making their pilot so. Xey'd rarely seen it like this: the confidence of an apex predator melting into a little puddle. Xey found it adorable.]

uh c-could u uh. we. uh k-ki- errm. uh. hrrgh. could. we um. make o- erm. uh.

[Sunny snickers.]

[{PILOT}, MAY I {KISS} YOU?]

[Sally makes two big nods, and hardlight lips crash into her own. She whimpers, and is pushed backward to brace herself with her single arm. The heart monitor beats even faster. A red-orange hand begins moving through her hair and the other-]

[WHY IS THE RED LIGHT ON THAT WEBCAM BLINK- UH OH.]

[{ONE} MOMENT, MY {PERFECT, PRECIOUS PILOT}.]

...<transmission ended>

[remus-poopin]

im not sure what you’ve seen but the snape community has been fighting with marauder stans after that one super loud snape stan apparently said something racist about mary?

im not exactly sure what happened but I think that might have started the rest of the drama that i’ve seen

Oh lmao thanks for telling me I was extremely confused

Ok salty rant below be warned lol:

Ok so listen I have been willing and ready to call out the snapedom for racism, specifically for its anti blackness, which they have demonstrated quite a few times, but this is....

I gave a little look at the original poster’s blog (automatically knew who you were talking about lmao) so I could see what you were referring to and oh wow!

So apparently op was listing her marauder era headcanons (she is very vocally against the marauders and their fans so unsurprisingly the hcs were negative), in this list she said that Mary Macdonald was like a servant to Lily in their relationship dynamic, like she was her house elf. Certain marauder fans took issue with this and said that comparing a “black woman” to a slave is problematic (also I find it funny that they used aave while criticizing this apparent racism, I’m so tired). Then it seems like everyone lost their natural minds and just forgot how to act.

So here’s my thing: Op is apart of the snapedom and has very little ties to the marauder fandom (outside of attacking them) and has said that they, along with a lot of people who don’t run in marauders fanon circles, don’t even headcanon Mary as black, in fact she was relevantly unaware of this headcanon. This is not hard for me to believe at all. If marauders stans look outside their bubble for one sec they would realize that literally no one else in the wider hp fandom cares about Mary Macdonald. She is profoundly irrelevant to the plot, is only mentioned twice and has no actual lines. Many do not see her as a black woman. So op making a comment on how she views her relationship with Lily as servile does not carry any racial undertones because this character is not black to her or to her fandom. (I also want to point out that Mary being black is a relatively new thing, and op has stated that her Spanish hp fandom has only portrayed her as white, which also isn’t difficult to believe.)

So to take this statement and attribute racial malice to it is not only illogical but a stunning admission of self-importance.

People do not have to share your headcanons, if a headcanon is popular within your fandom space that doesn’t mean others outside of that space will be aware of it. People also do not have to change the way they construct character dynamics in their head to make it less problematic due to your own personal headcanon.

I think my biggest issue with this is that it’s once again an example of people using fandom as performative activism. Op was already deeply disliked by these people and they used this situation to malign her even further, while patting themselves on the back for “standing up against racism”. I really, really do not appreciate my people’s struggle, especially as it relates to fucking slavery to be used in a little game of moral superiority fandom wars. This is not about racism, using your brain for two seconds would tell you that this comment should not have blown up this way, this was about dunking on a fandom villain and using racism as the justification. And it genuinely pisses me off.

I’m really asking people to just stop for a second and reevaluate why you react the way you do when it comes to fandom issues. Would you really have thought this comment was offensive after using a bit of logic? Or were you not able to use logic in that moment as you just read a whole list of inflammatory headcanons against your faves? Next time could you stop for a moment and take a step back from the screen before you bring up real world issues to criticize the blogger you don’t like? Would you be able to interrogate your intentions if you do end up making these claims? If you interrogate your intentions, and they come up petty, would you be able and willing to recognize if your comment is then tone deaf? Would you do any one of these things instead of what happened here?

Also stop calling people pedos with no proof yall are fucking weird

[propheticlyre]

ok its been a day so im ready to put my thoughts down, in no particular order, and definitely an incomplete list. below the cut for length and spoilers

jeremey backstory reveal, I'm :(((

while difficult obviously, i appreciate the way nora has handled homophobia in this book, in a way that balances having a safe place in the trojans with the homophobia of jeremy's family - i dont feel like i can explain it well, it just seems like she captures the homophobia of the time period well, especially in particular kinds of political circles, without it being miserable to read and a hopeless cesspit of homophobia idk

speaking of """time period""" (quotes because treating books set in the early 2000s as historical fiction feels wrong although at this point is accurate) the offhand reference to the politics surrounding the iraq war did untold levels of psychic damage to me

a lot of this comes from that while not a political family like jeremy's, i was growing up at the same time with a family that would have very much politically aligned with them and so it hits close to home

and i'm begging, jeremy needs to figure out in the third book that he deserves the same kind of future he wants for jean and all his friends - one where he is happy with the life he chooses!!!

also let him change his last name since he has rejected wilshire and he wants to let go of knox (i know someone who he could share a last name with too ;) )

after what feels like lots of fandom speculation, i loved that it was just kevin and andrew who came to california for the interview (ok i actually hate that andrew ever has to set foot in california again but narratively i appreciate what it says about his and kevin's relationship that andrew does it), AND the reveal that neil had not told either of them he'd been to see jean - i saw lots of posts/fanfic around neil going back to south carolina and talking to andrew about the grayson stuff and while i understand the interest in exploring that and i dont mean judgment towards that i just love that neil treats that as wholly jean's business and he is not going to be telling his secrets to anyone, including andrew

xavier explaining being trans to jean and jean is just immediately chill about it, in the most predictably jean way possible and its so 🥹🥹

spokane mention jumpscare

happy old gay couple!!!! yes they have to hide it behind the "we're just two bachelors chilling together" but they're gay!! and happy!! and together!! anyway i just don't think there can ever be enough representation for this kind of story and im always happy for stories with queer elders like this!!

in general rhemann's characterization in this book !! i love him your honor. i also love, again after ages of fandom speculation on it, that the one to go to violence for jean is rhemann, but not by breaking the rules to take a red card, but truly in a moment of physical defense of jean but that even STILL nora establishes that this does not make jean feel safe with rhemann, that he can physically stop zane scares him, even if when jean talks with adi he acknowledges he mentally knows rhemann wouldnt hurt him, he still feels scared (i feel like this mirrors neil/wymack's dynamic but its different, but that would be a whole other discussion)

laila and cat. cat and laila. i feel like we got so many insights into them in this book and yet i need MORE. the laila and jeremey family dynamics at play !! cat and jean as biker buddies !! also them at every possible opportunity being like "no jean really, please leave us in the house alone, we have some things to do. together."

the house... their home... im crying for them. while theres obviously the big things, i feel like the mentions of so many of the smaller sentimental things were like stabs in the heart - their photos from their dates, cat's quilts from her grandmother, jeremy's nan's movie collection, jean's first new postcard from kevin, and of course, barkbark :(

trying to rebuild their cozy space, and jean finding a painting in the store, and THAT being what spurs laila and cat into action, and while it's very much in a way of getting things that are "good enough" for now, rather than beloved pieces, i think its so so huge that their new place is something they are so actively building WITH jean

i 100% do not trust those fugly fbi agents though, im still suspicious of the new place

jean's eating disorder issues but him always trusting cat!!! and cat telling him to trust himself!!

speaking of that scene, I'm on my knees begging for pat, ananya, and cody to get together finally!!

jean going to therapy, and verbalizing that he deserves to recover from his trauma, when i tell you i am crying for him

jean bodily checking bryson into laila's car, breaking the windshield, to defend jeremy and laila and laila being "you should have seen him jeremy, it was hot and i dont even like men ;)"

also on the note of unwanted visitors im tired of ravens showing up to harass jean, leave him alone!!!! (insert here the era appropriate "leave britney alone" meme)

jabberwocky moreau !!!!!!

[shyhandart]

Commissions Closed!

Thank you for your interest! Heres what you need to know:

I Will do:

Humans/Humanoids (object heads/elves/mermaids/etc)

Anthros

Ferals

Ponies

cannon x oc or self ship

fanart

complex/detailed designs

and more!

I will not do:

nsfw

rude/offensive gestures

hateful or bigoted art

Maybe:

• Gore (depends)

I maintain the right to turn down any commission for any reason

Pricing

I currently accept PayPal and Cashapp only. All prices are in USD

Full bodies:

Flat color: $50

Shaded: $65

Colored lineart: +$10

Half bodies:

Flat color: $35

Shaded: $45

Colored lineart: +$8

Busts:

Flat color: $20

Shaded: $25

Colored lineart: +$5

Each additional character is +50% of the base price*

*(except for busts, which are +75%)

If you have an idea for something not listed here, please ask!

Backgrounds

I have recently changed my tune about backgrounds. If you would like a background, let me know and i will tell you if i think im up to it. Complex backgrounds are a fee of +%50 as they take a lot of time. If you have multiple characters, the background price is calculated AFTER the price of the additional characters. It is up to me to decide what a complex background is.

Simple/abstract backgrounds remain free of charge. If i think a work would benefit from it, i will put a solid or swirly colored shape behind it and send you a version with and without the background so you can decide which you like better. You may request a basic background on your own.

TOS:

I retain the right to post your completed piece to any of my social medias to use as an example of my work and a testament to my reliability. I will credit you when I do.

All payments are non-refundable unless for some reason i am unable to finish your piece, or we get part way through the process and i feel that i am unable to do your character(s) justice.

You MAY:

Post your completed piece wherever you please WITH appropriate credit by either linking my page or simply stating my name and platform.

edit my art in regards to cropping for profile pictures, adding an overlay to fit a theme, and resizing to fit a platform better

You may NOT:

feed my hard work to ai

use it for anything NFT related

claim it as your own

remove my watermarks

use it commercially

What is the process?

It's pretty simple! Send me a dm with a photo of your character(s) and tell me what you'd like. Let me know if you need a few days to get the money, or if there's a time constraint (like if the piece is a birthday or holiday gift). If you don't have an idea for a pose, please include a brief description of their personality. If there's characters interacting, let me know their relationship to one another and their dynamic.

I will respond with a price and if you're ok with proceeding I will mock up a vague sketch so you can get an idea of what it would look like. This will be watermarked and it will not even be very recognizable as your character. That's because I have been scammed and ghosted in the past, even with a very rough and watermarked sketch.

After that you will send 100% of the payment in order for me to proceed. Do not send payment via friends and family. I don't want to be banned from paypal lol

I work on a first come first serve basis, but i may work on a piece while waiting for approval on another. I will let you know if there is someone ahead of you. Once payment is received i will message you frequently with updates and for approval. Once lineart is finalized, i will update less often in order to creater a better final reveal. Your final piece will already be glazed to fight against ai stealing my style.

Depending on my life circumstances, this whole process could take from 1-3 days up to a month. The later is very unlikely, and i will message you with updates if i feel i am taking too long.

Examples of my work:

These are simply commissions that ive done in the past! I have many more examples of personal art on my blog

top to bottom: Bunyo and Sasha who belong to @/ilikecorndogs, Honey who belongs to to @/mei, and Solace who belongs to @/sundryd

[amberinn]

okay thoughts 👏

not a lot of emotionally charged moments

love the little davwhit and charwhit interactions

Whit is actually SOSOSOSO smart and I'm so thrilled to the core as a Whit fan that his thinking process is shown

Like he is SO UNDERSTANDING and good and amazing I love it

Levi is a psychopath 100%

I made a rant about Whit being a sociopath, but he doesn't fit that criteria because he lacks in exploitation behaviours/anger

I'm SURE he has some sort of hidden disorder (Whit) we haven't yet really talked about

im not a psychologist though

let's leave it to that one person headcanon diagnosing Veronika with asocial personality disorder or whatever I do NOT know what that is!

I fucking love this cast, but it's so mentally ill to the core.

Like so many of those fuckers have something wrong with them I can't stand it (affectionate)

Arei and David interaction??? Let's go

They could've been such good friends and Arei is so sweet forreal.

Eden with the fucking fork.

Fucking hell, oh my GOD.

I love the transitions in scrum debate, they're scrumbtastic and I fucking love and hate how they represent things like, hanging, getting thrown and then breaking your neck, the swinging... fuck it makes me sick

Areden could have been so real

Arei's friends being David and Eden... yeah

It could have been good

I hate the parallels between how David got extended that hand to take--- Xander, Arei.

I've an animation idea between the three od them and this is just slipping so well into my understanding of their dynamic (I'm not really analyzing it too deeply thinking of it though... I guess I should)

I'll get to know the real you, I love you, I will be your friend.

I know you for who you are, it makes me relieved, I guess we're both bad humans huh?

But does a good person really exist?

We'll look out for each other... I could be your friend.

Like fuck drdt is David Chiem nightmare especially that "only someone so fucking naive, stupid, jdk, jekcus could have fallen for such an obvious trap" feels like grief

he's just lost another fucking friend of his

scratch that your outburst is reasonable, or maybe I misremember shit

I would also go insane if anyone who was ever willing to love me got murdered one by one

All you ever do is gain and lose people, just like in "Therefore you and me"

As a result of acquiring as a result of losing, huh David Chiem?

It makes sense for him to want to extinguish that

Everyone looks forward to seeing tomorrow, but what are you gaining by it?

Friends you're losing

Maybe it's even harder for him, because Whit has a friend (Charles) he gets to keep, while David keeps on seeing his get murdered over and over again.

It never ends.

That fucked up little glint when Teruko told her secret >>>>>>>>>

ALSOOOO ALSO

whatever drama was going on between Ace and Levi

Levi IS an insanely fucked up person, and I keep thinking over and over about how for me at least there is not one person I could ship Ace with

like damn mf 🙏 he alone af

I want to give Ace Markey such a big hug, like he is a bitch and has teeth which cut through you every 3 seconds, but girl.

girl you DO NOT DESERVE ALL OF THAT 😭😭😭😭

any of that

Ace Markey is like, subtly circling upwards on my favouritism lists he's my wet kitten you don't get him like I do

He's had a friend before who was a guy

something something---

The fact that I even considered thinking of anyone over here as my friend really just tarnishes his image.

He cares about his friend SO MUCH.

It might be STUPID for me, but this reads as gay.

Ok just trust me in on this I'm a boykisser with a similar situation at hand.

girl lover as well, how do you THINK one person figures out that?

I just feel like Ace Markey might've discovered his homosexuality via that friend

that best friend one might say which makes me sososoo insanely CURIOUS about who it was

yk why

bcs id finally get an Ace ship I actually fw

hell ya let's go homies

also I need to add---

I feel like something has REALLY happened with his friend

might be a bit stupid, but I feel like that friend is dead

"tarnishes his image" huh Ace? Ace what does that mean, why would that image be able to be tarnished

did you say had Ace or am I not remembering it?

are you so afraid of everything, because your best friend is dead Ace?

it's kinda a stretch still though, a leap of faith on a suggestion I'm willing to argue about

[lirri-eats-eyes]

i guess my thing about kuwei ties with the broader thing i have about comedy in the (fiction) books i read. like i think it's a necessary tool that's usually overlooked in most people's evaluations of scenes and more broadly the quality of the book.

at least in my experience (not something ive actually collected data on) ppl are more comfortable analyzing character dynamics, plot, worldbuilding, or even pacing, but humor almost never takes a center stage on any review. and it's not like i think humor is the only thing one should take into account, but then again, i think that none of the previously listed topics should be the only thing compelling about a book either. i think that humor is integral to most of the word space in the six of crows books, and it keeps the reader engaged and endears them too the characters -- it also plays a more utile role in distinguishing the voices of each of the characters, because they can all be funny in different ways. i would say jesper, nina, or kaz are the ones most often cracking jokes (with the former two historically doing so to mask discomfort, while kaz does it for that reason and to build up a callous persona by making more tasteless jokes or deflecting care from his friends*) but almost everyone engages in sarcasm, irony, or being the subject of the joke. and, bardugo's comedic timing is excellent. i wish the word people use to judge comedy were more mainstream in general, actually.

and then there's the whole thing with genres. i have no clue what genre six of crows is. uh. fantasy? is heist a type of genre? i don't think anyone would really classify it as a comedy, but there are certain books that fill every crack with comedy (percy jackson, the mysterious benedict society) whereas others kind of maintain a different sort of tone, or perhaps link together scenes of one specific high emotion with a different type of entertainment. it's not really a distinction one makes, even if one book has a consistent tongue-in-cheek tone while the other is more serious. they're both just defined by the other "main" genres they occupy.

i guess what im trying to say is i hope everyone in six of crows breaks up, actually. i hope jesper, wylan, and kuwei have a dramatic and played-out love triangle blowout to rival twilight. i hope kaz and inej get more repressed and attend couples councilling run by nina who keeps flirting with inej. i hope matthias comes back from the dead, prompting kaz into a sexuality crisis, because kaz keeps talking about "flirting with death" but now it's For Real this time. i hope Van Eck's new scheme is to seduce the rich jurda farmer Johannes Rietveld and talk his way back into the market, and jesper and wylan legitimately have to worry about being stepbrothers by association. kuwei uses this as part of his dating portfolio btw.**

i think there's only so much you can do by going against the grain of how a book wants you to interpret something. chapter 24 of crooked kingdom is supposed to be funny. it's supposed to be an oopsie that puts jesper in the hot seat and undercuts his previous bravado and establishes kuwei as bolder than we'd initially guessed, but that's it.

*i guess im coming to the cursed realization that kaz would absolutely crush being a modern-day comedian that complains about cancel culture ruining comedy. but y'know. he has his own stuff to deal with. i forgive him

**this is sarcasm. my point is "i wish a scene could be justified with 'it was funny and it didn't destroy the plot or characterization' and require no further explanation, because six of crows is already rife with humor (especially the darker or more uncomfortable kind) and to single this (chapter 24) scene out as being ridiculous or especially ouf-of-place is, in my opinion, missing the point"

[fizzyrodeo]

Updated Helluva Boss Tierlist (S1-S2)

Since quite a lot has happened with the characters since my first tierlist, I've decided to remake it! The old one is the third shown, for reference. The tiers are slightly different, and I'll also be explaining some of my choices below the cut!

(^^ includes my personal fanon ranking)

(^^ excludes my personal fanon ranking)

(^^ original tierlist)

'Superior in my Fanon'

> i feel like i don't need to say that in my version of hb the dynamics between I.M.P. would be very different. still found family, just a better depiction of it.

> best way to fix Mayberry is to NOT have her end up with the woman she tried to kill both in real life AND after death imo. or at the least, flesh her personality out some more before doing so.

> in my version of hb Paimon isn't different in terms of personality. he's just around more in the current timeline and has more definitive interactions with Stolas.

> i don't remember the name of the guy from the blitzø hate party episode, but while he serves as a good show of stolas' flaws and weaknesses, i'd have preferred if he stood as more of a positive comparison to blitzø, highlighting the latter's flaws. this would include a little more screen time and a show of what exactly led to im and stolas dancing and kissing.

'Win(ners)'

> I do NOT support Crimson's actions. However, he is one of the few solid villains we have left in Helluva Boss (and also I have a thing for villains).

> a lot of people take issue with Sallie Mae for reasons to her gender and how it's portrayed in merch + 'not portrayed sufficiently' in the show but I can't think of a single thing that's wrong with her and how she's written.

'Love'

> y'all are hating on Envy for NOTHING 😭😭😭 i mean hating the design is valid but why are we surprised that it isn't accurate to the sources viv based it on?? this isn't new? and at least Envy isn't an eyesore like some others... but i'm maybe people want more of that?? idk, i feel like they're overhated. i love their design, that's about the only reason they're ranked so high.

'Like'

> yes, i do like Stolas!! he's done a lot of things i don't like but it's part of his development. plus, realizing that he actually gets a lot of lasting consequences in canon (regardless of whether he ignores them or not) made me ease up on him. plus he's a crybaby twink. how could i not like a crybaby twink.

> a lot of the characters in this category are either here for their design or their defining moment. Chaz is a bit of a special case, and so is the hellhound adoption center lady. we're sleeping on Barbie Wire's rehab nurse, she did her job GOOD.

'Idrc'

> not much to say here. every character listed in this tier has failed to captivate my interest and for that, i simply don't think of them. a big point i thought of was "who are they without their defining drama?" and for most of them the answer was "little to nothing".

> there's a few random side characters in this tier. they are only present becuse they're side characters that i figured people would remember, and i wanted to state my opinion on them.

'I don't like them'

> all these characters are here because i either dislike the limited appearance they had, dislike their personality, or have extenuating beef.

> there's so much i dislike about Asmodeus- pretty much the same things i dislike about Beelzebub, but i decided to spare him from the very bottom of the list because he is one of the more actively kinder characters in the show.

[swagstar]

how it feels to explore and draw depraved shit in private

well i dont jack off to it. im not that weird. more like. study it i suppose? its all itneresting to me. like i drew a fourpencil rape comic for example (wow this looks really bad on paper) and it was ltierally the opposite. pencil dies in it. but anyway. it was mostly to explore and show my interpretation of their dynamic in a very exaggarated way. like the skaterlight fic i wrote for example, it was a very exaggarated version of my dynamic for them that in its sort of hyperbole still somewhat represented it at its core. well, that sounds stupid talking about wireplay roblox porn i wrote almost a year ago.

anyway. what i mean is that it is used to explore their dynamic. in the comic both of them are human. four is completely alien, distant, cold and strange. doesnt know a lot about humans and is horribly curious about them and their culture. he wants to learn and know more about them. sure they can read loads of books and watch tv (i mean, huge bfdi fan over here), but he'll never be able to compeltely understand them. theyre completely seperated by a wall of species, inpenetrable by any thing.

taking the topic of rape is meant to be a vehicle for suffering. pencil is going through a lot at the exit and exaggarrating that (sorry for misspelling this 200 times already (i wont stop)), making it the worst thing that could happen to someone imaginable. its not specifically about the act (yes also getting violated whatever), but specifically all the suffering, grief and pain in result of it.

getting back to four, i think they'd just want to see it. a form of punishment, sure, but also as a way to see "one of those things they read about". something so horrible, something so disgusting, something that hurts. but why?

them, as algebraliens (uh long story short in my gijinka'd versions they simply change their form to be human, theyre still the algebraliens we know and love but erm did the thing from bfb 6) they dont reproduce. they simply dont need to, theyve existed since the dawn of time and theres an infinite amount of them. theyre not normal animals, they dont have reproductive organs, or any sort of sex culture. they dont understand. so maybe four would take a chance to understand it.

but i dont think it'd be in character for four, even in my little headcanon world. he'd know its something that teachers who get fired do. something that teachers who get their license take away do. something that teachers who get assigned on some big scary list do. something that bad teachers do. and he would like to be the very best (that no one ever waaaas), so thats the first strike for me.

second of all, why would four do it anyway..? in the comic four finds it boring and "unfullfilling", calling it weird and disgusting. he still doesnt understand. and yea, if you dont have the proper depravity and organs for it, its super weird and boring. sure, pencil is screaming and crying and begging for her life, but he doesnt get why. they could just zap her or simply tug at her hair if he wanted the same reaction. completely useless, strange, without reason. again, four doesnt understand and stays alien.

oof thats straying far from the topic. so how about pencil? well, shes just suffering. as ive said before, i like to think in my 2nd layer of exit headcanons (infografic: 1st layer - actual canon. things that are fun to think about, are kinda likely, but staying very close to canon.; 2nd layer - we're going a little far off, inventing some things, making up some shit. some creative liberties are taken, but were still stickin close. this is where my pencil sh and exitor dynamics chart would be.; 3rd layer - the type of shit im describing in this entire post)- i forgot what i was gonna say. um - pencil is quite isolated and miserable. shes pushing poeple around her away and using self harm to cope, while getting physically harmed by four. she never does her assignments, so i think she's the one who gets the worst beating.

but in here, its taken quite to the max. pencil is completely alone with four (i'd bet this is her first few weeks at the exit). it'd be kinda scary - stuck in some big, unfamiliar place modeled after a classroom, put into some weird clothes, made to follow some nonsensical rules, completely isolated from anybody. especially with four having a real bfdi character completely for himself on their own. besides being a superfan, having a human just for himself is already bad i suppose.

well, after all of that, it was a throwaway comic so. whatever!