#i feel bad for not participating more...
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some of my OCs I've been preparing artfight refsheets for. I want to try participating this year for my first time yay
I redesigned my none-bug-fables ant OCs Chris and Jay, which is huge for me, out of all OCs I have, these ants are the most interesting. in my head. as interesting as OCs can be for me, considering I constantly forget about their existance
#my ocs#my art#it really took me a while to remember what OCs I even had when I started thinking about participating in artfight earlier this year#I'm more of a fanartist than OC artist anyway#jay and chris exist since 2022? I think so#scarf was accidentally created while I was redesigning jay and chris but now they exist and I like them#their ref is even better than jay and chris's. I feel a little bad for the girls#I wish I drew my bug fables ants but I spent three months on there refs so I doubt I'll have time for the bf ants before july#90% of my OCs are ants#I love ants
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In the same way that this blog has given you something to hold on to and look forward to, seeing these comics has given me something to hold on to and look forward to in some bleak times too. Thank you for sharing your art and your journey and your commentary and your jokes. They mean a lot to me and I’m certainly not the only one. Keep “”””””poorly”””””” drawing <3
Thank you so much for joining me on this journey of trying to get by, and learning to stay silly and hopeful.
#ask#It honestly means a lot to know my comics can bring little bit of joy into someone's day.#Truthfully... life can get horribly bleak. The future you imagine for yourself can implode and there doesn't seem to be point to try anymor#Or you just can't see a future every being more than the same torment wheel of your everyday present.#The power of holding on a little longer - of taking things just a day at a time or even an *hour* at a time-#has been essential in my own ability to get through crisis and hardship.#We will keep going. This too shall pass. All the good and the bad things we have will change eventually.#Sometimes you get to be an active participant in that change. Sometimes it is out of your control.#I have long moved past feeling embarrassed about how much this blog and my comics means to me.#I learned how to draw yes. I also learned how to persevere and look forward to the future.#Just like with my art; I still have a long way to go! Even if my art and I are not doing so 'poorly' anymore - I want to keep improving.#Thank you Elder-Manly in particular for having been around since the early days and for all the kind words you've sent my way.#I hope you too have found brighter days in the last two years B*)
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shoutout to everyone who wants to contribute to and participate in fandom events like theme weeks or promptober or zines or exchanges/secret santas but is just too tired or too busy or the fandom is too small or they can't finish on time with deadlines or is too forgetful or doesn't have enough money to help fund it or is too shy or too nervous or is too controversial or has bad memories from fandom events in the past or has any other reason as to why they might not participate. I see you I hear you I am you and hope someday you can conquer all evil and join in like you've always wanted to
#I wish I could participate in more fandom events but damn am I burnt out man#I would not be able to reach deadline like I know myself well enough to know I couldn't do it. Feels bad man#fanfic#fanfiction#ao3#support fanfic writers#fandom event#fandom#fandom things#fandom culture
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i cant go back to that life man
#every time i think im out they pull me back in <- was in pokeask for 5+ years#i knew what i was getting into playing pmd and the temptation to start another ask blog is overwhelming#but i also knw i absolutely dont have the energy to keep it going for at least 6 months LOL. at some point it eventually feels more#like an obligation and it feels draining. maybe ill do it again at some point but when i learn how to manage my expectations#also everyone i knew is either deactivated or hasnt posted since 2021.. and im always gonna compare that to the 2016 daily ask#blog boom around the time sm came out. unfortunately im picky so i like to have a lot of options and it looks like ask blogs kinda waned#since i last played in the community. i at least have the sense not to join a community discord now. that was so bad for my heart#i knw it sounds like i hated my time there but it was fun and a good way of getting to know other ppls ocs and stories#and a fun way of writing and participating in other ppls stories without it feeling like such a one sided thing#looking back i think it also leans heavily on how you write your characters and interactions than a fully fleshed out plot#if i loosened up a bit and let my story go with the flow of asks instead of only letting it lead down one route i wouldve had more fun#instead i was constantly trying to pick out what order to answer questions to make it go the way i wanted it to go#and not really learning how to anticipate and move with questions that wouldve opened up a lot of possibilities#which couldve made it more fun and less stressful. idk#yapping#diary
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I don't know what I love more, the fact that as rook you can make a statement in NO uncertain terms that you are NOT responsible one way or the other for the theological implications of the shit you're discovering in the 'regrets of the dread wolf' memories. not my jurisdiction. quite simply none of my business. not my chantry circus not my chantry monkeys. irrelevant to the matter at hand here we'll kill that god if we get to him he can get in line. or if the best thing about it is seeing the lone little 'lucanis approves' that pops up right after choosing it. corvid with a knife about to commit deicide keeping it real and sensibly, pragmatically, wilfully agnostic with me here in this magical lighthouse today
#we do not see it. we cannot read all of a sudden.#rye having war flashbacks to watcher conferences and firmly going 'we are *not* getting derailed by the metaphysics here folks'#rare stern moderator/dad hat moment from ingellvar lol. he's Seen Some Shit in his time (debates that raged over the multiple#and not always concurrent life times of the participants involved. ain't no academic rivalry like watcher academic rivalry#because watcher academic rivalry doesn't stop even when everyone involved is dead. and the rest of us have to live with it)#I. do not think the way I'm getting this quest is how it's meant to be experienced so I'm a bit at a loss as to how to pace it out#I've been an annoying little completionist so I have ALL the statues and could just marathon it out#but that does not feel like the best way for the story and upcoming reveals to work. hm. how to do this#I'm supposed to go fail to save weisshaupt right around now I can't be having study group with all of you rn as much of a delight as it is#rye is nominally an andrastian as mainstream nevarrans generally are but as I gather is the case with many of the watchers#what he *actually* believes in is the grand necropolis itself haha#(and the philosophy of history memory death and relationship (as well as responsibility) between the past and the present#and indeed the future that it represents. we have a duty. to what has been to what is and to what will come after us. good shit)#the nevarran/mortalitasi element just makes their lack of care or respect for chantry orthodoxy *mwha* that extra bit special#the nevarran lack of concern bordering on quiet condescending disdain for official chantry doctrine and policy my beloved#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#poor harding really is living through the most relentless 'if this is the maker testing my faith he sure be testing me' gauntlet of all tim#good news: god might be real! bad news: god might not even be a real thing but more like a magical accident or vibration or something#honestly tho. if we could get full lovecraftian incomprehensible to human conception the maker -- He is a particle and a wave style --#that's the only way I'd be cool with him or them actually answering the question of his existence. that'd be kind of sick#'yes. but no. but maybe. depends on how you define god. and exist. and he. and does.' *ingellvar sets of the METAPHYSICS!! klaxon#that's a time out folks good game but easy on the jargon and navel-gazing definition of terms next round#rye and lucanis have some slightly differing views about at what exact stage of a problem murder becomes a valid solution#('well you just kill them and then I'm the one who has to deal with the next much longer part')#but they're surprisingly kind of vibing on a lot of other stuff lol. good for them <3#oc: Ellaryen Ingellvar
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I feel so bad for all the christians that think the olympics opening ceremony was anti-christian. wait until they learn that the olympics is a pagan religious festival that honors gods older than their religion by thousands of years
#honestly its funny (I don't really feel bad for them this is a joke)#but I think that if the christians mad about it were being honest#and not just trying to be victims of religious persecution that they made up just now (like always)#they would just renounce the olympics as a whole as a pagan ceremony#I'd respect them more if they did that tbh#just don't watch it and say its against your religion to participate in any way#you'll be insane but at least you'll be consistent and not just whining over things that confuse you and then scare you#anyway they're right that was jesus and they're validating my dionysion-jesus cult
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Can I hear more about the worm vs the boys please if you want to expand on it on tumblr? I love worm and I don’t really like the boys and I can't quite explain to myself why
Yea absolutely! Im sure there's some other Wormblr posts out there that go into this in more depth but I can paraphrase what I was saying to my friends.
We were mainly discussing the concept of "edginess" and excessive anger, violence, and shock value in media and I brought up Worm and The Boys as examples so that I could sort of warn my friend about the tone of Pact without directly spoiling anything. My main thesis is that Worm is incredibly super duper edgy, however it doesn't come across as nihilistic and misanthropic like The Boys does.
I feel as though too often The Boys is usually taking the stance of "well humans suck so if you gave humans superpowers they would find unique ways to suck and the only thing separating normal people from monsters is power. So no one should have power" which I don't inherently disagree with to an extent. It's an exaggerated critique of capitalism and celebrity. But it's also such a gross way to look at humans/the nature of humanity.
Contrast with Worm that says "bad people with superpowers will use their powers to do uniquely horrible things. But good people with superpowers will also be out there doing uniquely and incredibly good things for the benefit of humanity. Every human as the potential for abhorrent cruelty. But it is just as true that those same humans all have the potential to do good."
I think it's really important that the two final and most major antagonists in Worm are motivated by nihilism and hatred of humans. Jack Slash and Scion both have the philosophy of "Humans are cruel. The parts of humanity that are good are losing out to cruelty. Why try and fight it. It's easier to just kill everyone". Contrast Taylor who, I'm 99% sure, never for a second questions if humanity is worth saving. Everyone around her in Gold Morning says "there's nothing we can do so we should at least die happy" and Taylor says "I cannot die happy unless I spend every second of my last day fighting for the miniscule chance to save humanity from extinction". Taylor and the fucking insane lengths she will go to save humans when she doesn't even like them all that much is the heart of Worm. (And like don't get me wrong worm is also about Taylor fucking failing to not partake in human cruelty at basically every opportunity. Quite possibly the worst anyone's ever done it. But that doesn't change the fact that she is trying and in the doing is pushing the audience to try as well)
And on the other hand I think the attitude of The Boys kind of just IS Jack Slashs. I honestly cannot even fathom what the take away is meant to be beyond "people are fuuucked up dude". If I wanted to be especially cruel I would say that I think a large majority of fan base for The Boys was generated on the basis of shock value and the incredibly strong performances from the cast. It's easy to get in to season 1 because it presents a horrible world with no redeeming qualities but you can assume in later seasons "they're gonna figure it out! Good will win out! Or at least good will lose for reasons that connect with the audience and make it a tragedy" but three seasons later theyre floundering to find a message and a reason people should care about the world and it's characters.
At the end of the day TLDR I think worm works because it has something to say and uses edge to support the thesis. The Boys exists more as a framework to explore cruelty in fiction and I just don't think it has a lot to say outside of that.
#theres other things too#like i think worm is better at balancing the gore with lighter moments#and watching the boys feels more like youre being held hostage in a nonstop trauma conga line#we could also get into the politics and how worm is actually willing to engage with critiques of systems as a whole#but The Boys genius critique of american capitalism is just 'would work better if we put good people in charge instead of bad people'#I could also go on about how the first person perspective and taylor being entirely unreliable encouraged audience participation#Worm asks us to see taylors point of view and decide on our own if we agree#you can watch The Boys with all of zero introspection#you could just say Wow Those People Are Bad and never have to wonder if you could ever reach a point where you did the same things#but im not sure i could organize any of my other thoughts into anything coherent so this is all i got for now
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been thinking about deviantart lately and i cant help but remember during the later years of the site's popularity where people would go out of their way to find what was (in retrospect, very clearly) art made by literal children and shit on it and cyberbully the kid about it. what the fuck was that. even shit that was like, well made was subject to overly critical bullshit about being unrealistic or a mary sue or whatever. its frankly bizarre to me as an adult that anyone ever tolerated this culture or even like, participated in it and -wasn't- a child themselves. or even saw it and didnt feel the need to say "hey what youre doing is really fucking stupid and pathetic"
#labz.txt#though if you ever said that shit youd be accused of whiteknighting#whenever i feel bad about tangentially participating in that shit i have to tell myself i was like 11 and super insecure and mentally unwel#also has to be said even if they were adults that were amateur artists it was still kind of dumb and pathetic#its like picking on the guy who just started learning how to play the piano of course he doesn't even know how to compose symphonies#you should be more supportive and kind...#You should be like a speedrunner. get excited and start showing them the ropes#you never know... this person might be the next guy to invent some really cool tech for improving!!!#poster's pox
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Boy meets girl, boy gets boy | Baberoerenee
Based on this post
#baberoerenee#hbowarsteal#band of brothers#tinglingcreations.art#renee lemaire#eugene roe#babe heffron#spontaneous little steal because I finally slept more than 6 hours and my brain rewarded me with motivation to draw#during work hours......🤫#to be fair I am sitting in meetings and participating so I don't even feel bad about this
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like if hakuri had just gone off on his dad like “you’re a bad person and a bad father!!” kyora wouldn’t give a fuck. but i Need to see iori go off on her dad because he’s so pathetic and it would hit him right where it hurts
#like do i feel bad for him yeah#but inori was right he needs to get his head in the game and learn how to move past things#or at least EXPLAIN himself more than just ooooo my sins oooo i feel so bad about the war crimes#Like you participated in genocide (likely). there’s no going back on that i know#but iori wasn’t a part of that. and like it or not you were the only person left to take care of hee#and you just abandon her all over again#for WHAT? TELL ME#MAKE ME UNDERSTAAAAAND#my post#i was thinking about iori samura confrontation all night. RIP THAT OLD MAN APARR#*apart#favorite characters#kagurabachi
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Just write bad just write bad pick up ur pen and paper and just write bad just do it . Write bad write ur ocs badly quantity vs quality always the quantity please please please please
#I WANNA WRITE ABOUT MY OCS SO BAD HHHH#my problem is characterisations and all. I like to listen more and read what my friends like to yap about but also I wanna participate#but also I feel. under qualified to do so??#it doesn’t matter tbh but also. H#wish I got that good analytical brain#I’m here just whining n crying about ocs from my head#rambling
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Marchil March 2024!
A ship week event for the Dungeon Meshi pairing Marcille x Chilchuck! It will run from Monday the 18th to Sunday the 24th, in about a week.
The themes for the days are:
Explosion / healing
Fairytale / role swap au
Fashion / modern au
Hair / race or species swap au
Teasing / genderbend au
Gifts / date
Free prompt / food
You’re welcome and encouraged to put a twist on the prompts, pick either of them on any given day or mesh them both into the same piece, stick to them as much or as little as you want. For example, the race swap prompt mainly refers to elves, half-foots, etc, but you could just as well use it to draw them as cats if you’d like! There are essentially no rules, this isn’t inktober and there’s no pressure, feel also free to make things for it in advance rather than day to day. This is a ship week, but feel free to depict them in a platonic or queerplatonic way rather than romantic as well! This week is to celebrate them as a duo, and every work is welcomed: fanart, writing, edits, anything. Join the festivities!
Tag your posts for it "marchil march 2024"!
I’ll be hosting it on the @feedmarchil blog, I intend to reblog every piece made for the week there. Ty to Pupucachi for heavily inspiring the first ad card!
#Dungeon meshi#Delicious in dungeon#marchil#More people than i expected are saying they wanna try and participate! Joy~#And just to be clear marchil is getting a ship week not bc it’s popular but bc i’m stepping up#Repeat after me the lesson that ao3 marchil is teaching us is that continued hard work does build up into something#Some ship positivity in these trying times#Marchil march 2024#Marchil ship week#Kaboom kerchack#Gonna make a reminder post the day just before it starts too#If there are prompts you’d have liked feel free to send me some and I’ll consider for future events. There are just so many good ones#If u wanna participate everything is optional tbh. Idk do whatev u want we’re here to have fun. Gdbdgdg I’m a bad event host
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Man, I still remember participating in one of the many jjba zines that I took part in and how my piece was placed as the first page (for the second time) and how one of my mutuals/artists that I’ve always admired, hit me with the “oh… you’re on the front page again… 😅…” like man, that kind of killed me lmfao. I never got over it like man, what was that about.
#it’s not like i put the books together myself or anything all my ass did was submit my work#like this was from a really popular and well known artist as well like#their art has always been so gorgeous to me too I was like ‘I’m literally a nobody is this person really being shady or…’#rambling#I guess it’s nice being in a zine with ppl I don’t know or care to get to know at least now 😭… just submitting my art and running#referring to the jjk zine 😭 I need t start working on it uhh#zines make me feel so anxious man#it really did make me feel bad and almost guilty? I was like this is kind of awkward…#another zine I was in which was run by a mutual… well… I never even got my zine in the mail#and I even sent them $20 for some merch that they were making since I wanted to support and never got that either…#they deleted their blog but I see that they remade and draw a lot of DM and have a lot of popular posts here so it’s kind of awkward seeing#their art shared on the dash sometimes skeks#we’re still mutuals on Twitter but I don’t rly want to ask about my zine again or the $20 bucks#it’s okay like I owe other ppl stuff too I’m a late bird man but still loskekk#they were the mod for the zine too#I might hit them up again I guess I still love their art and they were always fun to talk to#there was another zine that I participated in where we had to purchase our own copy bro#i remember being so annoyed by that but went ahead and bought it anyway#I was invited to this zine so it made me even more annoyed#I#Guess it didn’t make its money back#or something like that but I remember being broke at the time and was pissed that I had to pay for my own book#I didn’t buy any of the merch because why when it was supposed to be free#if you’re participating in a zine the book and merch should be free
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show tempe gang crossover with the morris islanders would actually have been the best episode of bones ever. btw
#please ignore the rest of the tags i will just be making things up#okay they start out in carolina but at least half the episode takes place in dc. do not ask me how travel logistics would work#tory spends the entire episode off with tempe doing bone stuff. booth feels upstaged by a 16-year-old girl#so he goes and hangs out with ben who does NOT trust him right off the bat#ben ends up having to run him over to liri at some point because there's crime afoot and tom is busy. they spend most of the ride in silenc#ofc they end up bonding Eventually because they are both obsessed with crazy emotionally stunted redheads named t brennan#tory is more effective than any of the squinterns and manages to piss hodgins off so bad just by existing#coop hangs out in the lab as saroyan tries to kick him out thirty times. he just keeps showing up and she can't prove who's letting him in#(it's tempe.) angela loves tory but tory does not love angela back. saroyan tolerates her. sweets likes her but knows she's hiding somethin#comes to the conclusion that she can read her friends minds and slowly drives himself crazy because obviously that can't be true#tory brings hi along whenever she needs someone with people skills and he is MORE than happy to participate in a hodgins experiment#hi gets to be king of the lab for about ten minutes. shelton hits it off with angela immediately and they solve half the case together#booth fucking HATES hi because he's evasive and really good at the manipulation thing. booth can't win verbal sparring and he gets Big Mad#at one point the four of them are in an interrogation room together (MISTAKE) because tory had them meddling a little too close to the sun#and booth is trying so hard to question them which didn't work even when they COULDN'T read each other's minds#tory figures out who did it and hi steals her thunder a la shrek wasnt vandalized he gave birth#temperance tells tory 'i know you've got a secret sweets told me and even though i don't trust psychology i find he's insightful' etc etc#tory's like well i might be but i can't tell you it's not just my secret and you wouldn't believe me anyway#because let's be real tempe WOULDNT believe her#meanwhile saroyan convinced by sweets paranoia managed to get a sample of tory's blood and test it and is like HEY WHAT THE FUCK#gets hodgins and they just stare at the results together and delve into conspiracy theories. he's like i KNEW there were werewolves#they debate telling tempe but know it wouldnt end well for the kids and decide to get rid of the evidence. but hodgins is SO smug#also angela spends the whole episode trying to convince everyone hi and shelton are dating and no one believes her#they finally see them kiss or something and they're all somehow floored and angela's just like yeah? duh?#if anyone read this i'm sorry and why
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i survived the worst typing lesson so far. felt as bad as trying to pat your stomach and pat your head at the same time. (i have never been good at stuff like that, never was able to play drums either)
i've also gone through enough keys that it's viable to start forcing myself to type "properly" and it's pure torture because ofc i'm now slow as shit
#I can however feel how much more efficient it is already#man i never realized what acrobatics my fingers used to do while typing#also yeah secret lore: i used to play bass and guitar for a couple years in hs#would have participated in a lil performance too if i hadn't gotten violently sick just before#tried drums like three times but yeah#i'm Not Musical as a person and can't focus on as many things as consistently as playing requires#always has been bad at anything where the common advice/instruction is to vibe/feel it out#oh yeah and the lesson was just uppercase#fucks me up to use the opposite hand for shift i'm so used to only using left hand for that
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Just unlocked the Empyreum housing district, and while one part of me is rp-walking around enjoying the vibes and looking at peoples gardens, another part of me is monkey-style smacking at my keyboard to search up 'ffxiv get rich quick schemes'
#20 *million* gil for a medium plot. I'm gonna pass out. Not as bad as it coukd be but still more money than ive made in my entire time#playing this game so far. Just like irl having a multi-story home is a pipedream for my demographic 😔#I decided a few months ago that I wanted to get an apartment in the Empyreum once I unlocked it since it was permanent and I liked the vibe#of the building's exterior. FC house is in Shirogane and I'm getting much closer to Stormblood now so getting a room there is becoming more#reasonable. Idk how much security that has though. And the other day someone I met back in december hung out with me for a few hours and#then offered to a *buy me a house*. Just straight-up. No repayment or anything. Just so she'd have a new neighbour I assume?? She's very#big on the 'pay it forward' mindset and that was her only condition. Pretty much just 'be nice to people and help out new players where you#can' which. I was already going to do that?? Wild. That specific plot we were looking at is So Nice but is also in Shirogane which I cant#bid in yet. Different ward to the FC house but idk how I feel about things just yet. Pretty sure when we last spoke I'd ended up agreeing t#the deal pretty much but we havent exactly seen eachother since and im still a little unsure about accepting So Much Money from someone#+ living near them as an antisocial autistic person and the problems that brings. + Having potentially multiple residences in the same#district. + Even having a housing plot at all since it requires a permanent financial commitment. Even more so when its not my gil that goe#to waste if the house gets demolished because I got burnt out or couldnt afford to keep paying a subscription and log in on time.#Lots of uncertainties but housing also seems like something I'd *really* like to participate in and getting the full experience of having a#outdoor space too would be really nice. Original plan was Apartment in Empyreum and then a Medium House potentially somewhere else to get#the most out of the commitment. A Large would be too expensive and ambitious and too much space to work with honestly but a Medium has#just enough extra space and structure to feel worthwhile yknow?#idk im just rambling at this point but I've got decisions to make. And I should probably make them *soon* while the offer of#a free goddamn house is on the table. Dont wanna rush through things but it feels like I need to speed up from the glacial pace ive been#playing through this game at to unlock Shirogane even if just so I can visit the FC house more often (too cheap to ever teleport anywhere o#even pay for the airship tbh ✌️)#ghostprince posts#ffxiv#videogames#Did I just completely forget to type that the housing plot on offer is Shirogane is a small? Thats why I started talking about plot sizes.#And the talk of buying a Medium plot was very big on the '*if* I ever commit to permanent subscription to allow for housing'#I am. so tired right now. words are just slipping out my ears when i blink
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