#idk what else to do with my time... lol...

[angelsafa]

The only post you need to stop doubting.

Hi my loves,

Wdym you are not able to manifest that thing because some thoughts are popping into your head, and are making you doubt, and there's a voice that says that you are not able to do it???

Okay. Let's take a deep breath and relax.

You’ve been feeling like maybe your doubts are blocking your manifestations? Maybe you overthink a lot? Or you feel scared sometimes? Or you’re like "omg do I have to believe everything all the time or else it won't happen 😭😭"??

I got you my angel. I came here to save you hehe

First of all: NO. Your doubts aren’t ruining anything. The only way they “delay” something is if you start BELIEVING them. Like if you go “ugh I feel doubt... that means I won’t manifest” then obviously you're giving power to that version of reality. You’re choosing it. But that doesn’t mean the doubt is the problem — it’s your decision to let it be more important than what you want, yk?

The doubt itself? Harmless. Like a mosquito. Annoying but whatever. Just don’t feed it. That’s it.

You’re not supposed to feel perfect 24/7. You’re not a robot. You’re still pure consciousness, yes, but in a human experience. You get to have thoughts and still manifest instantly. You get to have doubt and still shift. You get to have fear and STILL BE THE MF CREATOR.

You think infinite consciousness is gonna get blocked by a lil anxious thought? Pfft. Be fr.

Now listen to me: You don’t need to believe in the void. You don’t need to believe in yourself. You don’t need to feel like you’re floating in a magical cloud. You just need to decide.

“I have this. It’s done.” That’s it. You decide, and the 3d shifts. Period.

And you already KNOW the 4d is the real reality, right? Sooo... you already shifted. The 3d just has to catch up. That’s literally all.

"B-but S-afa I-im scared the d-doubt is p-pushing i-it away..." My sweet angel. Let me say this lovingly: stfu. (not because I’m mean, but because I love you and you need to snap out of it). You’re too powerful to keep acting like a lost little sheep my sweet angel. YOU’RE A LION BABE. YOU ARE THE DESIGNER OF YOUR REALITY. WAKE UP.

The fear isn’t doing shit. You thinking “the fear is ruining it” is the only thing getting in the way.

Now. About the void, 4D, all that stuff...

Let’s simplify:

4D = your inner world. Your imagination. Your decisions. That’s what’s real. That’s what manifests.

3D = the mirror. The echo. The leftover energy (stop reacting to it. It’s not even real).

The void = your natural state. Pure being. No thoughts. No ego. Just the real YOU. When you’re not playing the “I’m this little human with trauma and fears” game.

Shifting = literally just choosing a different version of you and living from that. That’s it.

(Tbh I don't really belive in those terms because we are simply everything and anything all in one. But I use them so you my sweetcheeks understand it)

And no, you don’t need 100% belief. You don’t need perfect thoughts. You just need to say “I’m in the void because I said so.” And that’s it. DONE.

You think the void is a special club that only chosen ones can enter? My love, YOU ARE the void. You’re it already. You’ve just been pretending you’re not. Or maybe you forgot. Idk.

So... stop pretending, and remember who you truly are.

Be like: “lol okay yeah I feel scared and got doutbts rn but that doesn’t mean shit. I still get what I want. It’s already mine.”

You’re not affirming for fun. You’re not persisting for the aesthetic. And certainly you are not faking anything. You’re doing it because YOU ARE THE CREATOR and the 3D literally has to obey you.

You wanna manifest in the void? Go in. Say “I’m there.” That’s enough. There’s no waiting. There’s no test. It’s yours.

You wanna manifest in the 4D while still thinking random negative thoughts? Cool. Do it. Because YOU are the one deciding what’s real and what isn’t. And those couple of shitty thoughts won't do anything to the manifestation sweetie.

So now tell me, are you gonna keep crying over a thought that says "but what if it doesn’t work?" OR are you gonna laugh and say "anywayyy it’s already done so shut up?"

Your choice.

Now go be delulu, go script like crazy, go feel it, go DECIDE. Go live in the 4D like your life depends on it (bc spoiler: it kinda does). The 3D is just the old news. Boring. Let it catch up. (Or well, tbh it doesn't even need to because manifestation is instant lol).

You’re the void. You’re the imagination. You’re the power. You're everything.

So go and act like it!!

And I better see you out there ACTUALLY manifesting and not procrastinating!! Stop with reading the same information, that is just written with different words in blogs. You already know all you need.

Oh and I better read your success stories soon, you hear me my sweet angels?? Because you literally got this. Like you are the designer of your reality do you realize that??!!

Anyways, remember who you are, and you got this my loves!

Lots lots lots of love,

Safa

[deansbeer]

Hey girly! I'm a big fan of your writing and idk if you're open to requests but I was just wondering if I could get reader being really into Ben wearing his Soldier Boy supe suit and wanting to ride him while he wears it... Pretty please 🛐

hi baby! thank you so so much <3 reader being into soldier boy wearing his suit during sex is literally me lol

warnings 𓏵 smut | spanking | hair pulling | light degrading | praise kink | unprotected sex (use the damn rubber) | semi-public sex | suit kink | power dynamics | marking | mentions of enhanced superpowers | mentions of whiskey | pet names (cowgirl, baby, sweetheart) | slight objectification.

the compound is quiet this late, everyone else either asleep or out on assignment. you find him in the common room, still in full uniform from today’s press conference, nursing a whiskey and looking every inch the american hero they painted him as. except you know better — know the man beneath the propaganda, all rough edges and barely contained violence.

“thought you’d be in bed,” he says without looking up, but you catch the smirk playing at his lips. ben always knows when you’re near, says he can smell your perfume from three rooms away. probably bullshit, but with him you never really know where the enhancements end and the showmanship begins.

you cross the room slowly, deliberately, watching as his eyes finally lift to track your movement. you’re wearing one of his old shirts and nothing else, and his grip tightens on the glass in his hand. “couldn’t sleep,” you tell him, stopping just out of reach. “kept thinking about you in that suit today.”

“that right?” his voice drops an octave, all smoke and gravel and dangerous promise. he sets the glass aside, leaning back in the leather chair like a king on his throne. the suit stretches across his broad chest, that stupid eagle emblem catching the low light. “c’mere then.”

you move closer but he’s impatient, always is, and his hands find your hips to pull you onto his lap. the kevlar is rough against your bare thighs as you straddle him, and he groans low in his throat. “fuck, sweetheart. you really got a thing for the suit, huh?”

“shut up,” you mutter, but you’re already rocking against him, feeling him harden beneath all that armor. your hands trace the star on his chest, following the lines of muscle beneath. there’s something about him like this — all suited up, ready for war, but completely at your mercy — that makes you dizzy with want.

his hands are everywhere, pushing up the shirt to grab at bare skin. “my dirty girl,” he growls against your neck, teeth grazing that sensitive spot below your ear. “gettin’ all wet just from sitting on captain America’s lap.”

“you’re not captain america,” you gasp as he bites down harder, definitely leaving a mark. you’ll have to cover it tomorrow, but right now you don’t care. your fingers work at his belt, struggling with all the tactical buckles and straps.

ben laughs, dark and rich. “no, but i’m sure as hell better.” his hand comes down on your ass, sharp and sudden, making you jolt against him. “and you fuckin’ love it. love ridin’ the real hero, don’t ya?”

finally, finally, you get his suit open enough to free him, and he’s already rock hard and leaking. “look what you do to me,” he grits out as you line yourself up. “walkin’ around in my clothes, teasin’ me all damn day.”

you sink down slowly, savoring the stretch, the burn, the way his fingers dig bruises into your hips. the suit’s still mostly on, all that red and green and gold, and something about fucking him while he’s dressed like america’s savior makes it even hotter.

“yeaah, cowgirl,” he groans as you start to move, finding your rhythm. “ride your soldier boy. show me how much you missed me.” another smack to your ass, harder this time, and you clench around him in response.

the chair creaks beneath you both as you pick up the pace, chasing that sweet friction. ben’s got one hand fisted in your hair, pulling just hard enough to make your eyes water, while the other keeps up a steady rhythm of spanks that have your skin burning.

“look at ya,” he pants, watching where you’re joined with dark, hungry eyes. “takin’ me so well. my perfect lil’ cowgirl.” the praise mixed with degradation has always been his specialty, knowing exactly what buttons to push to make you fall apart.

you’re close, so close, and he knows it. can tell by the way your movements become erratic, desperate. “that’s it, sweetheart. come all over my cock. show me who you belong to.” his thumb finds your clit, rubbing circles that have you seeing stars.

everything whites out for a moment as you come, clenching around him while he holds you through it. ben’s not far behind, hips jerking up to meet yours as he spills inside you with a growl of your name. real name, not sweetheart, baby, or cowgirl or any of his other pet names. just you.

you collapse against his chest, both of you breathing hard. the eagle emblem is cool against your flushed cheek, and you can hear his heart hammering beneath all that armor. his hands are gentle now, soothing over the marks he left.

“gonna be sore tomorrow,” he murmurs, sounding entirely too pleased with himself. you bite his neck in retaliation, right above the collar of his suit, and feel his spent cock twitch inside you. “careful, doll. keep that up ‘n we’re going for round two.”

“promises, promises,” you mumble against his skin, but you’re already exhausted, boneless and satisfied in his lap. ben chuckles, the sound rumbling through his chest and into yours.

“c’mon, darlin’,” he says eventually, lifting you easily even with the awkward angle. “let’s get you all cleaned up and in bed.” the compound’s still quiet as he carries you to his room, you clinging to him like a koala, his suit still half-undone and stained with evidence of what you just did.

tomorrow he’ll be back to playing the part — the perfect soldier, america’s golden boy. but tonight he’s yours, spanking marks on your ass and his cum dripping down your thighs, proof that even heroes have their vices. and if his happens to be you? well, you’re not complaining.

[flowery-mess]

There's something so soft about this fic and idk what it is, but I love it🥺 I read it for the first time in the morning and then now again, I loved this chapter so much! But I can't wait for the next one🤭

Kylie stepped in first and immediately froze. James bumped into her shoulder as he followed behind.

Honestly, I hate them for doing that, I'd stop talking to them😭

And for a minute, all you could do was stand there, your back to the room, hand still on the door handle.

I'd leave with them and let him live in my apartment

“Save it. I’m the one who should be sorry.” He mumbled as he passed you on the way to the door.

That passive agression got me worried

Matt’s brows lifted, but he didn’t argue as you nudged at his foot with yours to adjust his position.

I love that confidence and how she's falling in love with the sport

“But you should hear him when he gets home… we’ve got paper thin walls.”

MATT lol don't do that to your friend😭

“Swap with me.” It wasn’t a question, Noah was already tugging his gloves off.

“Don’t care. You’re with Davis now.” He said, already taking Matts place on the mat.

We love protective Noah in this house🤭

“I should’ve asked before I touched you like that. I wasn’t thinking straight… And when they walked in, I saw your face, I thought... I thought I pushed you too far. You looked… I don’t know. Scared. Like you regretted it.”

We love a mature Noah in this house too

“Only if you let me take you to dinner after class." He bargained softly, "Wherever you want."

The answer is YES

"What's a Bad Omens?" You asked

That's probably what I like the most about this story, he's still in the band and does his job, but for her he's just hot gym guy and loves that🥹

When I'm home. You frowned slightly, because that's not the first time he had said that. Where else would he go?

I can't wait when she finds out

“What’s wrong?”

“Talk to me.”

“Would you like me to order for you?”

We love attentive and caring Noah in this house🥺

“No pressure that way, you can have whatever you want.”

“Figured it’s easier than stressing over what to order… and before you say you weren’t, I could tell. You always get quiet when you’re overthinking, something I noticed during that first class.”

He is SO boyfriend material

“Just proud of you,” he expressed

😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩

If I say I’ll take care of you…I’ll do it properly.

SHUT UP

“I’d love to, and I would have done...”

He's better than me, I'd hate them

"Want me to walk you up?"

YES

he reached out for your hand, and he held it all the way up to the door of your apartment

🥹🥹🥹🥹

“I'll miss you."

I'll miss YOU, the perfect boyfriend

Who Are You?

Kickboxer!Noah x Reader

Chapter Five

chapter warnings: i don't want to spoil anything but i think it's important for me to mention reader does NOT have an eating disorder!! she's just anxious!! a little nsfw? just a comment from matt tho!! i put too much of myself into reader

masterlist ♡ can i just say thank you sooo much for the love on this fic already it's actually crazy??? the idea for this has been on my mind for months (not to expose myself here but it's been my bedtime scenario to help me sleep for so long lmao) so i'm just happy that i can sit here and giggle and kick my feet whilst i write this and people can feel the same when they read it!! :)

┈┈・୨ ✦ ୧・┈┈

Minutes ago...

“You're sure this is a good idea?” Kylie asked, her heels tapping quickly against the hallway floor as she attempted to keep up with James' pace- but right now he was a man on a mission, and he was not slowing down for anyone.

“Of course!" He grinned, turning to face her, "Worst case, we say we forgot she had plans. Best case?” He smirked, “We catch them being horny and weird, and we get to make fun of her forever!”

Kylie stopped in front of the door and fished around in her bag for her spare key, whilst James pressed his ear up against the door, listening.

“I can hear something. Are they... laughing?” His brows furrowed as he waved a hand for Kylie to join him.

“Probably-“

THUMP

“What was that?” James gasped, wide eyed.

Kylie grinned and shoved the key into the lock

“Let’s find out.”

The door slowly creaked open.

Kylie stepped in first and immediately froze. James bumped into her shoulder as he followed behind.

“What-“

And then he froze too...

Because on the couch, front and centre stage, barely five feet away from them, was you and Noah.

Or you straddling Noah, his hand on your hips, your forehead against his shoulder.

James blinked, before turning to Kylie to whisper.

“Are they-“

“OH MY GOD,” Kylie shrieked, not bothering to keep quiet as she sounded somewhere in between thrilled and horrified. “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!”

You yelped, recoiling like you’d been caught stealing candy.

“KYLIE?!”

Noah groaned under his breath, already covering his face with one hand like he’d foreseen this exact scenario in a nightmare.

James stared, wide eyed in stunned silence, and then calmly said.

“Are you… dry humping him on the couch?”

You scrambled upright, bashing your leg into the coffee table in your rush to escape.

“OW FUCK! No! I- we were sparring!”

“Are you sure?” Kylie asked sweetly. “Because it kinda looked like you were trying to fuck him into the upholstery.”

“Jesus Christ.” Noah mumbled under his breath as he sat up.

“Your form was solid, though." James said as he took a step forward, "Good hips.” He nodded, his hand stroking his chin as if he were a judge on a TV show, "Only thing I'd say you could improve on is-"

“JAMES,” you shrieked. “GET OUT!! BOTH OF YOU!!!”

They both giggled as they backed out of the door. You rushed to slam it shut behind them, making it rattle in its frame.

And for a minute, all you could do was stand there, your back to the room, hand still on the door handle.

You couldn’t breathe. You couldn’t move, couldn’t even look at him.

You’d never wanted the floor to swallow you more in your entire life.

You had just been on top of him in front of your best friends.

Oh god. You were never going to hear the end of this.

You thought you should say something to Noah, though you weren't entirely sure what you should say in a situation like this. So, you swallowed hard, your throat burning as you opened your mouth.

“I…” you said, finally turning just enough for him to hear you speak, your eyes still locked firmly on the floor. “You can have a shower if you want. Or… you can just go. It’s fine.”

For a moment, Noah didn’t move. He didn’t say anything.

And you still couldn’t look at him.

Your heart pounded so loudly in your chest that you could barely hear how suffocating the silence actually was. You tucked your hands into the sleeves of your gym shirt, as if that could help you.

“I’m really sorry,” you said, voice quieter now. “About everything. About them. About… that.”

Still, nothing.

You peeked up at him for the briefest second.

He was sitting exactly as you’d left him, on the edge of the couch, head in his hands, forearms resting on his knees. His brows were drawn tight, his lips pressed into a line, eyes fixed somewhere on the carpet, far away. He looked like he was thinking too hard.

And then he got up. He quickly threw his hoodie on and grabbed his gym bag.

“Save it. I’m the one who should be sorry.” He mumbled as he passed you on the way to the door.

He didn’t look your way once. He just reached for the handle with no hesitation.

And left.

…

You didn’t text him all week, and he didn’t text you either.

Not that you expected him to, he looked pretty pissed when he left and that only made you feel more awful about it all. You made him uncomfortable, and now you were afriad he would never talk to you again- because this time he actually had a valid reason.

Every time you unlocked your phone, you thought about texting him. But you didn't know what to say... Hey, its me, sorry! or Did I ruin everything? or Sorry you had to push me off your lap in front of my best friends, still up for class on Tuesday?

A few days later, your friends came over to make up for that night. But they noticed you weren't yourself, and they admitted to feeling guilty about it, but you reassured them it had nothing to do with them, and everything to do with you.

“Has he texted you yet?” Kylie asked gently as she handed you a cup of tea, as if she didn’t already know the answer. You couldn't even look at the tea. It reminded you of him. How he had let you try his, how he had paid for you at the café, how you had screwed everything up before it could even start.

You shook your head, placing the mug down onto the table before curling deeper into the blanket cocoon you’d wrapped around yourself on the couch.

“Nope.”

“Are you going to text him?”

“Nope.”

She gave you a look, crossing her arms as she stood above you.

“Babe.”

“I can’t,” you groaned. “What if he thinks I’m still trying to... I don’t know, hump him on the couch again?!”

James popped his head in from the kitchen, a spoon hanging out of his mouth.

"I'm sure he'd happily accept, did you see the look on his face? I thought he was about to-"

“JAMES!”

“I’m just saying." He shrugged, a grin creeping up on his face, "I'm sure he'd love for you to "fall" on top of him again.”

“Don’t listen to him.” Kylie rolled her eyes as she sat down on the couch beside you.

You groaned and buried your face in the blanket.

“I’m going to cancel my gym membership. I'm never showing my face there again.”

“No,” Kylie said firmly. “You’re not.”

You peeked at her through a little slit in the blanket.

“You can’t stop me!”

“I can,” she replied, tugging the blanket away from your face, “And I will. You love that gym, and you love kickboxing. You finally found something you enjoy and you’re good at, and you’re going to throw it away because you dry humped your hot trainer on a Tuesday?”

“I didn’t-”

“You did.” James called from the kitchen. “And it was hot!”

“Shut up, James!”

Kylie leaned in, lowering her voice.

“You didn’t do anything wrong. Neither did he. You tripped and things escalated from there. And I thought you said he was the one who encouraged you to move... on him."

"I thought so, but what if I was wrong? He kept telling me not to move, even when I was trying to get off of him but then that happened... And then you guys walked in. You weren't even supposed to be coming, and I told him that! I'm just worried I made him mad, he couldn't even look at me before he left."

“Babe,” Kylie said gently, “Noah’s not mad. He probably left because he panicked, not because he didn’t like it.”

"So why hasn't he texted me?"

"Why haven't you texted him?"

You stayed quiet, chewing your lip.

“You’re not cancelling your gym membership,” she said again. “You’re going to go to the next class like a grown up and face it. And if he acts weird, then he’s the problem. Not you.”

You stayed buried in the blanket, but your voice was soft when it came out.

“…Will you walk me there?”

“Of course.” Kylie smiled.

...

You’d been anxious all day. You didn't sleep the night before, you couldn’t eat, you couldn’t focus at work. You couldn’t stop thinking about that damn night, and regretting every moment of it.

Your apartment was a mess, responsibilities you've ignored over the last few days were piling up, both clean and dirty laundry piled on the dining table, dishes filled the sink, but all you’d done for the last hour was sit on the edge of your bed, staring at the hand wraps Noah let you borrow last week. The ones you didn't get a chance to give back before he left.

You had taken better care of them than you had yourself for the last few days, you googled if they needed washing, what to use and how to clean them correctly, what's the right way to dry them...

Now, they sat in your lap like they weighed a hundred pounds.

You told yourself that if things went wrong tonight, if he glared at you from across the room, if he ignored you, acted like he hated you, then you were simply only there to return them to him. You'd hand them back. Say thanks. Leave. Cancel your gym membership. Move across the planet.

It was barely a plan. But it was the only thing holding you together right now.

A sudden knock at the door made you flinch, pulling you back from your thoughts as you tossed the wraps down onto your bed and made your way across you apartment to open it.

You could already hear James' voice from the other side of the door. And as you slowly pulled it open, you were met with two overly happy best friends.

Kylie was leaning against the doorframe behind him, arms folded, and James was stood directly in front of you, holding two coffees, you already knew one would be used as some kind of bribe.

“You ready?” Kylie asked, noticing how you were already in your gym clothes.

“Absolutely not.” You shook your head, but just as you were about to shut the door on them, something got in your way.

It was James' arm. Holding out a coffee.

“Drink this, put some shoes on and grab your bag.”

...

You barely spoke on the way out of your apartment, because you still weren't sure this was a good idea. The walk to the gym was barely even five minutes, but it was long enough to feel your life flash before your eyes.

James continued to sip his coffee, oblivious to your meltdown, whereas Kylie kept glancing over at you- probably to check up on you, though you thought she was making sure you hadn't ran away in the time it took her to push the main door open.

You took a deep breath as you stopped at the curb opposite the gym. It felt like you hadn't been here in years, when only two weeks had passed.

“I can’t go in." You whispered, shrinking into your hoodie like it might shield you.

“You can,” Kylie said, looping her arm through yours. “And you will.”

“What if he ignores me?”

“Then he's an asshole and he doesn't deserve you." She said simply, already steering you toward the crossing.

The light turned green, but you didn't budge.

“Come on.” Kylie tugged your arm.

“I’ll throw up!”

“You won’t.”

“I’ll cry!”

“You might. But that's okay.”

Your feet stayed rooted.

“Kylie-”

Kylie gave James a nod, and he quickly grabbed your other arm, coffee still in hand, and the two of them physically dragged you across the street.

“KYLIE. JAMES. STOP!!”

“Relax,” James waved his hand. “No one even knows what you did. Except us. And Noah. And the couch. And maybe even Aaron, depending on where you hid him.”

You groaned, the building was growing closer with every forced step.

The doors were right there now. Right in front of you.

You knew you had to do this, because what's the worst that could happen? Your life would go back to the way it was 6 months ago, and Noah would find a new girl to teach, to tease, to hold-

That was all the motivation you needed. Suddenly, you feet were moving before you could even attempt to stop, and you had made it into the gym.

As the glass doors slid shut behind you, you turned back to your friends, giving them an unsure wave.

But, as you reached the door to the usual room, you hesitated.

You peeked through the glass panel on the door, just to see if he was there- and yep! You spotted him immediately.

He was across the room, standing in his usual spot, your usual spot, but he was laughing with two guys you didn’t really recognise. They’ve never been here before. Noah looked genuinely happy, like he didn't have a care in the world, and you don't know why that stung the way it did.

Your fingers tightened around the strap of your gym bag, wondering whether or not to leave. You could slip out and nobody would notice. Noah certainly didn't look like he was bothered by your absence.

But you couldn't leave. Not with his hand wraps in your pocket. Or else you’d be reminded of him every time you saw them in your drawer of shame, along with your crochet hooks and acrylic nail kits, and other items from hobbies you had given up on a long time ago.

You swallowed hard, forcing your legs to move, forcing your arms to reach out just enough to push the door open.

Your shoes tapped lightly against the floor as you crossed the room, weaving between bodies, keeping your eyes on him.

You felt more nauseous with every step, and as soon as he was in arms reach, you felt a little light headed, like you might pass out.

You took a breath, barely holding it together as you reached him. You tapped his arm gently, his skin warm under your cold fingertips.

“Noah?” Your voice came out small, a little unsure, but he quickly turned to face you. “Can we… talk?”

For a second, he looked like he wasn’t sure what to say... but before he could answer, Tasha's voice rang across the gym.

“Alright everyone, warm up time! Partners or solo, let’s go!”

Your heart sank. But Noah gave a small, apologetic tilt of his head, offering you a softer look this time, one that was more familiar, more him.

“After class,” he promised quietly. “I’ll find you.”

You barely had time to nod before he was tugged away by one of his friends, the one with the beard and darker hair, leaving you alone.

Great!

With a sigh, you shrugged off your hoodie and dropped your bag by your usual spot on the bench. After a quick sip of water, you began to stretch near the edge of the mats. Everyone else had already partnered up, pairs sprawled across the room, laughing, bouncing lightly on their feet, and there you were. Alone.

You bent to fix your shoes, fiddling with the laces, when a voice spoke beside you.

“You wanna partner up?”

You glanced up.

One of Noah's friends, the one with the slight baby face, smiled at you. His hair was dirty blonde, and you noticed how one of his arms was completely covered in tattoos, matching the one fully covered leg.

"Sure!" You straightened, blinking.

With a kind smile, he held out a hand.

“I'm Matt.”

...

You swiped the back of your wrist across your forehead, the warm up had been a little more intense today, and you already felt a little sticky with sweat.

You had been trying your best to ignore Noah, and it had been working so far. You hadn't glanced his way once, and every time you could hear his voice, you blocked it out- or tried to at least.

But now you needed a drink. You wandered over to the where you left your bottle and took a sip before leaning against the wall to catch your breath. That’s when you noticed Matt struggling to wrap his hands. You spotted how one hand was wrapped too loose, and the other was looking like a tangled shoelace.

You couldn’t help the small laugh that slipped out, and Matt’s head snapped up, his eyes narrowing as you approached, still smiling to yourself.

“Need some help?” You asked, already reaching for the wrap.

Matt made a face, you couldn’t tell if he was somewhat amused or offended.

“It’s harder than it looks, alright.” He said, watching your hands.

You chuckled under your breath, gently taking his left hand, fingers brushing his wrist as you started unravelling the mess.

“You’ve got them a little twisted,” you explained, smoothing the fabric out. “You’ll cut your circulation off if they’re like that.”

“You seem to know what you’re doing.” He pointed out.

You shrugged, carefully looping the wrap across his knuckles, the way Noah had shown you a dozen times now.

You were even slightly surprised you knew what you were doing. But Noah didn’t have to know you knew how to do it, you liked the way he did it for you.

“I had a good teacher.”

Matt thought nothing of it at first, and you finished wrapping his hands. You let yourself glance over at Noah now, just the once, and you kinda wished you didn't. He had just slipped his black gloves on, his chest was still rising and falling pretty quickly from the warm ups, and he was grinning at whoever his other friend was. His hair had fallen over his eyes a little, his biceps looked a little too biteable-

"I think we should spar," Matt said, making you flinch as he pulled you out of your Noah induced daze, "But you'll have to go easy on me, I'm still pretty new at this."

"Yeah," you nodded, your pulse still racing, your cheeks still slightly hot from looking at the guy across the room, "We should."

You both slipped on a pair of gloves, and then you looked at Matt... You tilted your head, giving him an unimpressed once over. His stance was okay, but his feet were too wide apart, shoulders too tight. You knew it wasn’t going to work.

“You’re gonna fall like that.” You pointed out, stepping closer before he could argue.

Matt’s brows lifted, but he didn’t argue as you nudged at his foot with yours to adjust his position.

He stayed perfectly still, watching you with amused eyes as your hand skimmed down his arm, gently repositioning his elbow and wrist.

“Getting real hands on already,” he murmured, grin widening. “If I’d known you were this friendly, I’d have showed up sooner.”

You laughed softly, giving his shoulder a quick push to test his balance.

“If you showed up sooner I probably wouldn’t have had to correct you.”

“Yeah, yeah,” he chuckled, rolling his neck, “Show me what you got!”

And you did exactly that.

You both sparred for a while, dodging each others moves, laughing as you kept him on his toes. It was clear he wasn’t expecting you to be so good at this, and in all honesty neither were you. You dodged nearly every hit he threw, slipping just out of range, each time his frustration growing more obvious.

“Okay…” Matt exhaled, shaking his head as you ducked another jab, your grin only growing. “You’re way better than I thought.”

“Like I said, I had a good teacher.” You shrugged, your gaze meeting Noah's for just a moment.

Matt’s eyes shot across the room for the briefest second, then, a knowing smirk crawled across his lips.

“Oh… you’re that y/n,” he muttered, stepping forward faintly, “Yeah… Noah always talks about you.”

“He does?” You raised an eyebrow.

Matt didn’t reply right away, he continued to move, forcing you to follow. His grin widened, cocky now.

“All the time… y’know he never really cared too much about the gym before, but now he makes sure he doesn’t miss this class if he can help it. He said he trains with a pretty girl…” His voice dropped to a more teasing tone. “But you should hear him when he gets home… we’ve got paper thin walls.”

He let the words hang, a slow smirk spreading across his face as he watched your guard slowly drop before he continued.

“Your names real familiar by now, I thought I was just hearing things the first few nights,” he added. “Turns out, he’s not exactly quiet when he’s thinking about you.”

Your breath hitched, heart picking up speed. Matt’s grin only widened as he dodged your wobbly jab effortlessly.

“Yeah… one sleepless night was all it took for me to figure out what kind of ‘training’ goes on in his head,” he said. “Can’t unhear it now.”

Before you could respond, he made a move since your guard was down. It was just a quick kick that caught your side, but it knocked you off balance. You stumbled, laughing as you landed hard on your ass.

Matt grinned down at you.

“Gotcha!”

“You asshole!” You chuckled, reaching out for his hand as he offered to help you up.

But just as you made it back to your feet, you heard his voice.

“Swap with me.” It wasn’t a question, Noah was already tugging his gloves off.

“Noah?" Your brows furrowed.

“Dude, I didn’t mean to-“

“Don’t care. You’re with Davis now.” He said, already taking Matts place on the mat.

Matt rolled his eyes, but seemingly knew better than to fight.

“Fine, fine!” He sighed, giving you a small smile and a gentle wave as he wandered off.

“Are you okay?” Noah asked, his voice laced with panic as he turned his attention back to you. “That looked like it hurt.”

“Noah, I’m fine. Really. He didn’t knock me down, I slipped… You know what I’m like.”

“But he caught you off guard, he shouldn’t have done that.”

He was right. He did catch you off guard…

One sleepless night was all it took for me to figure out what kind of ‘training’ goes on in his head…

“C’mon, let’s take a break.” Noah nodded towards the benches by the side of the mat.

You didn’t fight him. Mostly because your lower back was already starting to throb from where you hit the floor, and the adrenaline was wearing off quick.

The second you sat down, you winced. You shifted a little, but it was enough for Noah to notice, his brows furrowing immediately.

“Where?”

“Where what?” You blinked.

“Where does it hurt?” His tone left no room for argument, his gaze sweeping over you like he was assessing every inch for damage.

“It’s nothing.” You tried to say, but he was already crouching in front of you, his hands- still wrapped but he had ditched the gloves now- were resting lightly on your knees, waiting for permission to check.

He tilted his head, eyes softer now as he said it again.

"Tell me where it hurts."

Your cheeks flushed.

"Just... near the bottom of my back."

“That’s what I thought.” He said, stepping over the bench so he could get behind you. His thumb carefully brushed the hem of your shirt, “Lift this a little?”

You swallowed, fingers trembling slightly as you pulled your shirt up. His thumb gently dipped beneath the waistband of your leggings, moving them down just the slightest bit, just enough for him to see the faint mark blooming across your skin.

His jaw flexed. His thumb traced the space just beside the bruise, never on it, never pressing.

“He shouldn’t have done that.” Noah muttered under his breath, more to himself than to you as he stepped back over the bench.

“It was my fault, I wasn't paying attention-”

“No, it wasn’t.” He said, crouching down to your level. “You don’t blame yourself for that.”

You weren’t sure what to say, so you settled for a weak smile.

“Stay here,” he said, standing. “I’ll grab some more water.”

When Noah returned with two bottles of water, sitting beside you on the bench, something had changed. Now that you weren’t on the floor in pain, you had both remembered.

He handed you the bottle, but neither of you spoke.

You both sat there in silence, you were thinking of how to word what you wanted to say, and so was he. In all the weeks of coming to the gym and seeing Noah, nothing had ever felt as awkward as it did right now. Not even the time you misjudged and kicked him in the balls.

It was just too quiet.

You fiddled with the bottle cap, twisting it open and taking a sip just to avoid saying what you knew was coming. Noah ran a hand through his hair, his own bottle untouched.

Then, finally, when you both spoke at once.

“So about last week-”

“I should probably explain-”

You both cut off, blinking at each other, the corner of his mouth lifting with a little awkward grin.

“Sorry." You mumbled, laughing under your breath.

“No, you first.” He offered, voice lower and quieter than usual- nervous perhaps, though he hid it pretty well.

You hesitated, chewing the inside of your cheek before glancing at him.

“I… thought you were avoiding me.”

“I thought you were avoiding me.” He said, his eyebrows raised in surprise, and a little amusement.

You breathed a soft laugh, fiddling with the thumb hole in your sleeve.

“I wasn’t. I was just… embarrassed, and I thought you wouldn't want to talk to me again.”

He tilted his head slightly.

“Why?”

“Because…” You looked away, staring down at the bottle in your hands, thumb running over the ridges of the plastic. “Because my friends barged in, and it was embarrassing for me. And I thought it was for you too, and then you couldn't even look at me afterwards... I thought I made you mad."

Noah stayed quiet for a second, his gaze fixed on you, though you were still looking down at your bottle. After a moment, you heard him exhale softly, like he was trying to ease something off his chest.

“You didn’t make me mad,” he said, his voice gentle, "Not at all."

You peeked up at him. His brows furrowed a little as he sat back, water bottle resting loose in his hands.

“I couldn’t look at you,” he admitted, the faintest edge of embarrassment touching his tone, “Because I thought I messed it up.”

"Messed what up?” You frowned.

“That night,” he said, gaze dropping to the ground for a second before meeting yours again. “I should’ve asked before I touched you like that. I wasn’t thinking straight… And when they walked in, I saw your face, I thought... I thought I pushed you too far. You looked… I don’t know. Scared. Like you regretted it.”

“Noah,” you whispered, shaking your head quickly, “I wasn’t scared. And I didn’t regret it.”

He didn’t answer right away, but the tension in his shoulders eased a little, though hus eyes searched yours like he wasn’t sure if he could believe you yet.

“I didn’t stop you,” you added softly, the words barely above a whisper, "Because I wanted it too."

Noah was quiet for a moment, like he was taking your words in. Then, with a little nod of his head, he hummed.

“Okay,” he said with a soft chuckle. “Well, I'm glad we're both idiots.”

You laughed at that, nodding your head as you felt the weight on your chest finally lift for the first time in days.

"We are."

Now, the silence between you felt comfortable. You sighed contently, like you could finally breathe.

However, the silence didn't last for long. Because your stomach decided now was the perfect time to let out a long, humiliating growl!

grrrrrhrggghhhg

Your eyes widened in horror, and you felt your cheeks heat in embarrassment. Noah’s brows raised slightly.

"Are you hungry?" He asked, his voice soft as his eyes met yours again.

You opened your mouth to deny it on instinct, but his head tilted knowingly, cutting you off before you could speak.

“Don’t lie,” he murmured, eyes narrowing in playful warning. “I’ve been watching you. You've not been yourself, your hands are shaky and you let Matt knock you on your ass… how long’s it been since you ate?”

"Last night," you confessed, fiddling with your bottle again, "I've felt too sick, too nervous to eat all day. I've been worrying about seeing you, I was worried you wouldn't want to talk to me."

“Hey,” he said gently, his voice softening. “I told you… I’m the idiot who thought you wouldn’t wanna talk to me.”

Your lips parted like you wanted to say something, but you couldn’t.

Noah exhaled softly, eyes still steady on yours before he leaned down, reaching for his gym bag beside the bench. After a moment of rummaging, he pulled out a protein bar, the wrapper slightly crumpled but still intact.

"This is all I've got," he said, sounding almost a little disappointed , like he genuinely wished he could pull a full meal out of his gym bag for you, "I guess it's better than nothing."

You smiled faintly, your nerves unraveling just enough to let a breathier laugh slip out.

“It’s fine,” you murmured, reaching for it, “Thank y-”

But before your fingers could brush the wrapper, he held it just out of reach, brow raised, the corner of his mouth curving ever so slightly.

“Only if you let me take you to dinner after class." He bargained softly, "Wherever you want."

My bed?

Your lips parted, eyes darting between his and the protein bar like you were considering the terms of a contract.

“It doesn’t have to be a date,” he added, “I already told the guys I’ll drop them home so I'll do that first... then we’ll get food. Is that okay? You can still have the protein bar if you say no by the way.”

The sincerity in his tone made your heart warm. You nodded once, small but certain, and he finally handed over the bar.

“Good.” He smiled.

You hesitated, eyeing the wrapper suspiciously, then took a cautious bite… and instantly grimaced.

“Oh my god,” you mumbled around the dry, chalky mouthful, “I've had one of these before... and I swore I'd never touch one again!"

Noah chuckled under his breath, stealing the rest from your hand and finishing it off himself with zero hesitation.

"Dunno what you mean, they're delicious!" He teased, though it was clear he was trying not to scrunch his face up.

Despite everything, you smiled, settling back on the bench beside him, shoulders brushing slightly. For the first time all week, you could actually breathe.

"I'd ask if you want to get back on the mats," Noah said, looking over at where you had left your gloves, "But I don't want to risk you passing out on me."

"Wouldn't be my most graceful moment." You laughed softly, nudging his shoulder.

Noah's lips parted, like he was about to say something. Then, his eyes drifted across the room towards his friends. They looked like they were meant to be sparring, but instead they were messing around, seeing who could wrap their arms and legs around a punching bag and stay on for the longest.

"Okay," Noah sighed under his breath, "If they don’t wanna be sensible..." He stood, grabbing both your gym bags without asking, slinging his own over his shoulder. "We’re leaving."

"You sure?" You asked, standing slowly.

"They’re barely training, you nearly fainted, and I promised you food. Let’s go."

You smiled, following him across the mats as he called out to the other two.

"We’re done. Grab your stuff."

Matt groaned dramatically but obeyed, the darker haired one- you heard Noah say his name was Davis- shrugging as they followed on behind you.

You didn’t miss how all three of them were wearing something with the words Bad Omens on it... Noah's shorts had the name printed down the side, Matt had a black hoodie with a design on the back, and Davis wore a tshirt with the name on the front. It could've bene a coincidence, but you've noticed Noah seems to wear a lot of things with that name on...

"What's a Bad Omens?" You asked, eyeing the clothes. "You guys in some sort of cult?"

"You could say that," Davis snorted, "But no, it's a band that we're all... fans of."

"Like... a boyband?" You chuckled, watching Matt's smirk grow even more mischievous.

"Metal band." Davis clarified with a nod of his head.

"Yeah but the lead singer? He's pretty enough to be in one, isn't that right, Noah?"

"I... uh..."

You looked over at him, intrigued.

“You a fan too?”

"Yeah... something like that." Noah said, but thankfully this conversation ended as you reached the car- and now Matt and Davis were arguing over the front seat.

“Hey, you sat in the front on the way here!”

“Yeah only cos you walked!”

“So it should be me-“

“I’m older.”

“It’s Noah’s fucking car!”

"Guys, calm the fuck down," Noah interrupted, unlocking the car with a click. His hand pressed lightly to your lower back as he guided you toward the passenger side. "She’s got the front."

Ignoring the guys groans, you slid into the passenger seat, still hyper aware of the warmth of Noah’s hand as it drifted off your back, his touch lingering on your skin long after it was gone. The door clicked shut beside you, and you stared at the dashboard for a second, completely frozen.

You were in Noah’s car.

Noah’s car.

The inside smelled a little like him, you definitely needed to find out what cologne he uses. His hoodie was on the drivers seat, you assumed he took it off just as he got out earlier. He threw his and your gym back into the back with the guys, where you could hear Matt and Davis still bickering as they piled in behind you, but it all felt muffled compared to the way your pulse thundered in your ears.

You were in Noah’s car.

The guy you only knew as the hot gym guy just months ago!

Breathe. Just breathe.

You shifted awkwardly, gripping your seatbelt with shaky hands, fingers fumbling as you tried to clip it in. Noah slid into the driver’s side, glancing your way, one brow raising faintly as he caught your expression.

“You okay?” He asked, his voice laced with amusement like maybe he already knew exactly why you looked ready to combust.

You forced a little nod, swallowing hard as you clicked the seatbelt into place.

“Yeah,” you mumbled, cheeks burning. “Just… y’know… your car.”

A small smirk tugged at the corners of his mouth as he started the engine.

“Yeah, you like it?” He teased.

...

After dropping the guys off, the car was noticeably quieter... You sat in the passenger seat, picking at your nails as Noah pulled away from the curb.

He didn’t say anything for a moment, just one hand on the wheel, the other relaxed on the gear stick. The radio played quietly, which you were thankful for, glad you weren't sat together in complete silence.

“Where d’you wanna go?” He asked, glancing over at you. You were a little surprised at how gentle his voice was.

You opened your mouth, but your brain faltered. You couldn’t think. The nerves from earlier were still sat in your chest, and being in his car next to him wasn't exactly helping. You weren’t even sure what you felt like eating.

“I…” you hesitated, shaking your head with a small shrug of your shoulders. “I dunno.”

Noah’s eyes were back on the road, but his lips curved into a small smile.

“That’s alright,” he replied, steering easily through the traffic. “I’ve got somewhere in mind... It’s nothing fancy. Just somewhere I like to go when I’m home.”

When I'm home.

You frowned slightly, because that's not the first time he had said that. Where else would he go? You already guessed he travelled a lot for work, so just assumed he meant that, and you nodded.

“Okay.”

The ride wasn’t long. Maybe five, ten minutes tops. But it felt longer with how aware you were of him, and how close he was- as if you weren't sat on top of him last week.

Eventually, he pulled into a small parking lot beside a little building with soft lighting spilling from the windows. It wasn’t what you expected, though you didn't even know what you were expecting.

The place was small, but it was inviting. It looked cozy from the outside, and that was confirmed as you followed him in. The lighting was warm, the sound of chatter and laughter filled the air, along with the smell of food, which made your stomach grumble once again.

The waiter by the door didn’t even ask for a name. Just a nod at Noah, like they knew him well, and you were led to a booth tucked near the back by a window.

You both sat down, giving the waiter your drinks order before he left.

And now here you were, sat across from Noah at a small, worn in table, menu in hand, eyes darting nervously between the list of food and him.

Noah sat casually, forearms resting on the table as he thumbed through the menu.

You, on the other hand, were barely skimming the options.

It wasn’t even the food. It was him... His presence, the soft look in his eyes, how nervous you suddenly felt around him.

You had felt this way before, but every time you had ever caught feelings for someone, it was never reciprocated- and if it was, it was only an act so they could get in your pants. But here you were, sat across from a guy who genuinely seemed to care about you, and the thought of him possibly feeling the same way as you made your heart do something you couldn't explain.

You hadn't even noticed you'd been staring blankly at the menu, not reading it. You'd been in a world of your own, and you quickly managed to snap yourself out of it and looked at the options.

Cheeseburgers. Fries. Onion rings. Mac and cheese. Double bacon cheeseburgers. It all sounded delicious... if you were sat at home by yourself in front of the tv, but the thought of ordering something like this in front of Noah made you feel a little uneasy.

And, of course, Noah noticed. His gaze lifted, head tilting slightly as he set his menu down.

“What’s wrong?”

His voice startled you slighlty, fingers tightening around the laminated page.

“Nothing!”

He didn’t buy it. His stare didn’t waver, but his expression softened, as did his voice.

“Talk to me.”

Your throat tightened, cheeks warming as you exhaled slowly, admitting under your breath,

“I don’t… know what to get.”

The words barely made it past your lips, but he caught them.

“That’s okay,” he leaned forward a little, his hand resting casually near yours on the table, like he was wanted to touch you but held back. “You’ve never been here before.”

You bit your lip, heart racing embarrassingly fast. Noah let the quiet stretch a moment longer, eyes searching yours before adding gently,

“Would you like me to order for you?”

The softness and sincerity in his voice made it hard to say no. So, despite the feeling in your chest, you nodded your head.

"Okay... yeah."

A small grin spread across his face, subtle but enough for you to notice, and your heart to skip a beat.

The menu stayed in your lap, mostly forgotten about, your fingers fidgeting with the corner as Noah caught the attention of the waiter.

You half expected him to just order his own food twice, but instead he almost listed off the whole menu. Two different burgers. Chicken nuggets. Fries. Onion rings. Even a side of wings, and also requested some different sauces.

You blinked, glancing up at him as the waiter scribbled everything down and walked off.

“That’s… a lot." You almost whispered, your voice quieter than you meant it to be.

Noah leaned back in the booth, casually draping his arm along the backrest, eyes fixed on yours- god he's so fucking hot.

“Yeah.” He nodded, like it was obvious. “No pressure that way, you can have whatever you want.”

You felt like your heart was going to burst with the amount of pure love you felt for this man.

You almost felt yourself begin to tear up- sure, it was just a simple gesture, all he did was order a bunch of things from the menu, but he did it for you. To make sure you had a choice, that there was at least one thing you liked.

“Noah, you didn’t have to-”

“I wanted to.” His eyes softened as he spoke, “Figured it’s easier than stressing over what to order… and before you say you weren’t, I could tell. You always get quiet when you’re overthinking, something I noticed during that first class.”

Your stomach did a silly little flip at that, and you felt heat rush to your cheeks. You looked away, tucking your hands into your lap.

He’d noticed. And instead of blatantly pointing it out, making it worse, he made it easier.

The food didn’t take long to come, and in the time it took you had been telling Noah all about your week, and your asshole of a boss. But then, the table was filled with plates, a basket of fries, burgers stacked high, golden onion rings- it all smelled incredible, and your stomach agreed, growling loudly enough that Noah huffed a soft laugh under his breath.

“See,” he teased, already reaching for one of the burgers, sliding the basket of fries toward you, “It smells good, right?”

You reached for a fry, hesitating a little, but Noah didn’t rush you. He didn’t say anything, just started eating his own food. You nibbled at the fry, glancing up at him across the table.

He caught your gaze and smirked faintly, nodding toward the rest of the food.

“Try this,” he said, not long after, holding half of his burger out toward you, it did look delicious. “It’s good!”

You hesitated again, but he was so patient with you. Your heart fluttred as you leaned forwards, taking a bite. Noah watched you carefully, smirking as you hummed softly in approval.

“Good, right?” He said as he pulled the burger back. “Told you.”

You nodded, still chewing, smiling despite yourself. The nerves didn’t completely vanish, but they eased enough for you to actually eat and enjoy the food, your appetite growing again.

…

You weren’t even sure how it happened, but between the two of you, every plate on the table was empty after about 20 minutes- besides the spicy wings, which you pulled a face at when you tried, and Noah teased you for it. You were comfortably full now, slouched just slightly in your seat, fingers lazily chasing the last few fries in the basket.

Noah watched you, elbows resting on the table, silently taking in how comfortable you looked now compared to earlier. You peeked up, catching the way his lips had curved into a small, warm smile.

“What?” You asked, wiping your hands with a napkin.

“Nothing.” He said with a gentle tilt of his head, his eyes warming as they met yours, along with his heart.

Your brows furrowed, but his smile only grew as he leaned in a little more.

“Just proud of you,” he expressed, voice a little quieter now. “I know you weren’t feeling yourself earlier.”

Your mouth hung open a little, and you didn't trust yourself to speak as you noticed how his words made your tummy feel fuzzy. You wanted him to tell you that again and again and again. You looked up again to meet his eyes, and something in the way he looked at you in this moment settled you more than anything else had all day.

You swallowed gently, tucking your hands beneath the table.

“Thank you.” You whispered, quiet but honest, looking away to try and hide the way your cheeks had turned pink.

A gentle, comfortable silence settled between the two for a quick moment, until Noah leaned back, tossed his napkin onto the plate and glanced toward the door.

“I should probably get you home,” he said. “Before your friends freak out.” Oh yeah. Kylie and James were waiting for you at your place.

“…Shit.” You blinked, laughing under your breath as realisation settled over you. “I didn’t tell them I was going anywhere.”

“What, you just disappeared on them?” Noah chuckled.

“I didn’t think you’d actually take me to get food," you confessed, a little embarrassed, "I thought you were just saying it… just to be nice.”

He huffed a quiet laugh, pushing his chair back as he stood. His large hand came down, palm open in silent offer. You slipped your hand into his, letting him help you up, trying not to think about how perfectly your hand fit in his.

“For the record,” he murmured as you gathered your things, “I never say things I don’t mean. If I say I’ll take care of you…” His eyes met yours with a look that matched the teasing yet serious tone in the way he spoke, “I’ll do it properly.”

You followed him out, Noah’s hand brushed lightly against your lower back as he guided you toward the car, his gentle touch lingering for a moment longer than it probably needed to, like he wasn’t quite ready to let this evening end yet.

“Watch your head.” He said as he opened the passenger door for you.

The simple gesture made your heart warm, like everything else he does, but you slipped in carefully and let him shut the door for you, before he circled around to the drivers side.

The ride started quiet, the two of you still full but comfortable, you could already feel yourself wanting to yawn- it had been a long and rather emotional day.

You glanced his way once, studying his side profile, the line of his jaw, the tattoo on his throat that crept up the side of his neck- his perfect fucking nose that you wished you could reach out and just boop.

You hated how much you wanted him close again. Even if it was just for a moment, and you had spent all week regretting it, but you couldn't stop thinking about how his hands felt on your hips, how warm his bare chest was beneath your fingertips, how hard he was beneath you, and how it felt as he rocked you against him-

Stop. You shook the the thoughts from your head... but just as the horny ones left, the dreaded ones found their way back.

What if you didn't let your friends drag you across the street to the class? What if you only dropped by the class to hand his wraps back to him and leave again without saying a word. Would he have reached out? Or would he have let this- whatever was going on between you- die?

You exhaled quietly, turning your head to look out the window.

“Hey…” His voice gently pulled you from your thoughts, he glanced your way for a second before returning to the road. “You've gone quiet.”

"Sorry... I was thinking."

“Don't do that, you'll give yourself a headache,” he smirked, gently teasing. “No, seriously,” he prompted, voice a little softer now, “What’s on your mind?”

You hesitated for a moment, debating whether to come up with a lie or an excuse, but knowing Noah, he'd see through you.

"I almost didn't go to the class today. My friends had to physically drag me across the street because I was too scared to face you again... but if I didn't come, what would've happened?"

You noticed the way Noah’s fingers flexed on the wheel as he pulled the car to a slow stop outside your building, not even realising you were here already. He parked up, turning the engine off, before answering.

“What would've happened?” He repeated your question under his breath, eyes fixed ahead for a second like he was thinking it over. “I would’ve gone insane,” he admitted simply, turning his face to meet your eyes. “I spent the whole week thinking I screwed everything up. I was ready to text, I wanted to… but I couldn’t tell if you wanted space, or if you hated me, or…” He exhaled, shaking his head with a quiet laugh, almost at himself. “Guess we both overthink shit.”

"Yeah... well, we don't have to anymore." You said hopefully, meeting his eyes with a soft smile. The kind that made his heart race.

He chuckled under his breath, his gaze dropping briefly to your lips before looking away again. You unbuckled your seatbelt slowly, the click loud in the quiet car.

“I’d say come in… but my friends are waiting for me, and I'm already gonna get interrogated tonight, and I'm sure you'd rather not suffer through a million questions too.”

You noticed the way he smiled at the offer, but he also hesitated briefly.

“I’d love to, and I would have done...” he sighed, his voice dropping softer, sounding almost regretful. “But I’ve got a flight to catch in a few hours.”

"What?! A flight?" Your eyes widened.

"Yeah... work stuff." He nodded, running a hand through his hair, ruffling it a little. “It's just for a couple days."

You tilted your head, studying him.

“You’ve got a flight to catch... and you’re out here with me instead?”

That made him chuckle, and he nodded softly.

“Yeah,” he said simply, like it was obvious. “You were more important.”

For a moment, you forgot how to breathe. You were frozen completely still... did he really just say that or was this a dream? Did you pass out in the gym when Matt knocked you down?

Noah just chuckled to himself and opened his door, stepping out. The sound brought you back to earth and you followed him out the car, waiting for him to grab your gym bag from the backseat.

"Want me to walk you up?" He asked, and you answered with a nod.

Slinging your bag over his shoulder, he reached out for your hand, and he held it all the way up to the door of your apartment, his thumb brushing the back of your palm every now and then, as if to remind you this was real.

Once you reached your door, the two of you stilled. The world around you seemed to just melt away as you looked up into his brown eyes, a colour you’ve grown to love.

You really took him in from this angle... the small scars on his face which you guessed had been left behind from piercings, the dark colour of his lashes, the shape of his lips, the little freckle just under his eye... you wanted to reach out, cup his face in your hands, stand on your tip toes and kiss every inch of him.

His eyes dipped to your lips again, lingering for just a second longer than they should’ve. But he didn’t lean in, even when you thought he was going to. Instead, his grip on your hand tightened ever so slighlty, his fingers gently curling higher up your wrist, and then he lifted your hand between you.

You barely managed to swallow the lump in your throat as he pressed his lips to the back of your hand.

His lips were warm and soft against your skin, sending a shiver down your spine as his eyes met yours, looking at you through his lashes as he gave you the most gentle, delicate kiss.

It was an innocent gesture, but the way he lingered, the way his eyes locked with yours, made it feel incredibly intimate.

You were surprised your knees didn't give out beneath you. The feeling of his lips alone sent heat to your lower belly but the way he looked up at you through it almost made you whimper

“See you next week?"

You nodded, mouth dry, brain working overtime just to form a sentence... but somehow, something slipped out before you could overthink it.

“Text me… when you land?” you whispered, almost shyly. “Just… so I know you got there safe. Wherever you're going.”

“I will,” he promised quietly, his voice soft and sincere. Then, just as he pulled away, gently letting go of your hand, he whispered, “I'll miss you."

--------------------------------

reading this back i don’t really like this chapter :/ BUT THE NEXT ONE…….

@dragoncopper @renegadebirch @super-btstrash-posts @pipidoll @xslavicprincess @foliosgirl @h4tef6ck @jesuisunchaton @saythatuwill @astronoids @missduffsblog @montgomery-929496 @lonelydragonlady @happyclifford @popularpopularmonster @bluehairpunklol @bruce9818 @itsyaboinoah @mayaslifeinabox @lonesomegrace @dominuslunae @lacy1986 @jesuisunchaton @overmydeadbodysblog @kenjipepsi1 @onlyethereal @theright-wrongway @geminigirlfromfinland @miss570 @trvshdxddy @spookieolson @sugaruapologist @latenightmusiclover @eversiinceny @shuiguans @lyschko666 @xxkatsatwatwafflexx @flowery-mess @pathion @bladeupnred @urafakebetch @mycheersricochet @bloody-spades

[sugarhog05]

Sooo… I have some oldish art I found recently that I thought I’d share with y’all :]

First are just some sketches of a few of my AUs at the time. These were just before I made The Starlit Swordsman AU. They were also before I’d fully come up with the concept of Bloodborne Moon being infected by the beast plague. He was going to be an animatronic hunter that the healing church would use because he… ya know… doesn’t need blood and therefore couldn’t transform into a beast. I hadn’t come up with a design for DL!Sun yet. There’s also a doodle of if Moon was in Don’t Starve, A game I’d been playing nonstop at the time.

Next are just some doodles so I could test out the brushes in Procreate. This was at the height of my SAMS obsession. Not much else to say about it.

Here’s the old Bloodborne Moon Design I mentioned. I still like the design, but idk I wasn’t sure of what else I could do with the concept. I’m sure I could’ve come up with something, but when I had the thought of ‘what if Moon COULD turn into a beast?’ I kinda had to make it. I still might make an AU of the AU and now that I think about it… maybe it could be a swap AU where Y/N turns into a beast and Moon, who knew Y/N (as friends or… something more?) can’t bring themselves to kill them. Maybe he goes on a mission to help Y/N remember who they were, while keeping them from shedding anymore blood. He… doesn’t have any after all lol

I mean, because that WAS shown in the game with Father Gascoigne… Hrmm… 🤔

Just a creachure Moon… not much else to it.

Pretty old Moon I drew when I was in a very stressful time in my life. It was uh, bad but escaping into this fandom (even if I wasn’t actively participating at the time) was what got me through it. I think I’ll always be grateful for all the wonderful artists who helped me get to where I am now, which is a much happier place <3

Here’s a Y/N design I’d made for the DCA Ballerina AU. Just a thing where Y/N is in costume. They were going to be a girl Y/N since girl outfits in performances are typically much more elaborate and I can come up with concepts easier for them. The DCAs outfits are also easier to figure out cause they have a theme to them already. I also have a lot more experience (as a previous girl ballerina myself) with that side a ballet. Sorry guys and masc leaning non binary pals :(

Lastly is some fanart I drew of a fic that I can not for the life of me remember the name of. If I remember correctly it was about Y/N being a nurse who finds a very human looking animatronic (DCA obviously lol) who just escaped from the fire at the Pizzaplex. They take him to their apartment to help him but end up finding out he’s an animatronic who doesn’t have anywhere to go, so they let him stay. They think Moon is a separate animatronic who died in the fire for a while, but then surprise! He’s alive but they think he’s homeless since Moon always “leaves” before daytime comes. There’s more but in case you ever find the fic I don’t wanna spoil it for y’all. I remember Sun and Moon were also able to taste things and he really liked chocolate milk which is why he’s holding a glass in the fanart. I think I stopped reading it because I kinda didn’t like the direction they took Moons character? He was super sweet in the beginning and kinda an ass but in a fun way. Then he just turned into a sassy (in an obnoxious way) ass in a not fun way. There’s nothing wrong with that obviously, it just came down to my personal preference and the fic is still really good even if I ended up not liking where it was going. If I find it again I’ll probably give it another chance because of how much i liked it in the beginning, but… that’s entirely dependent on if I find it again lol.

ANYWAY, sorry for the yap session/info dump it’s just when I found these I couldn’t get my mind off of them so I thought I’d share it to like… get my brain off of them, I guess. Thanks for reading and I hope you got some enjoyment out of my ramblings at least lol

[quillsandblades]

do you think levihan is canon for real?

Heyy anon!

Do I think levihan is canon? I'd say yes absolutely, I'm like 99% sure they are - that one percent lacking here because Isayama hasn't really announced that they're official lol. Though even if Isayama does say they're not canon I'll probably live on in denial. Plus, now I'm so deep on the levihan pit I can never be convinced to stop shipping them.

Btw when I say they're canon here it doesn't mean I think they were an established couple (cuz Isayama said Levi was never involved in any romantic relationship throughout aot) but I do believe they had feelings for each other. Whether they acted on them or not is a different debate.

Why do I think they're canon? Plenty of reasons.

Firstly, starting from something of my own; I'd like to add that I never even shipped levihan until well after I'd finished the anime and the manga. In fact I never shipped Levi or Hange with anyone while watching/reading aot and for a long time after that. I was too focused on the plot and there were many other things going on.

Now from the eyes of a (former) non-shipper, I didn't think much of the head grab scene, didn't know the black jacket being shared between them, and never even noticed Levi could recognise Hange just by the sound of her knock on the door.

But then enter season 4 and suddenly Hange's changed and everything's going wrong. And I'm noticing things.

The forest scene happened and I was watching in dub for some reason so the ifkk line was translated as "we should camp out in the woods for the rest of our lives" and that's not very romantic. But despite that I could feel something between them, in the air, in that scene. But then the plot moved on and I didn't pay much attention to it.

I read chapter 132 from the manga cus the anime wasn't released yet, and again there was something there. Hange's walking towards her death and I'm literally falling into despair, waiting for someone to stop her and Levi shows up. And I just felt like he'd stop her and she'd listen. But he did the salute and I didn't read it as romantic at all but I felt some very complicated history, emotion, whatever passing between them ok. I felt there was something in that scene between all those words that only isayama or the characters themselves would know. And the fact that Levi never did that salute for anyone, not even Erwin, made me think Hange was probably more precious to him than I realised.

And then later on when I discovered levihan and it felt so right. The ship just fit the whole plotline and everything, like it had existed within it all along.

Next comes all the proof for levihan being canon we've seen in this community. We all know Isayama wrote Aot with exacting precision, every foreshadowing, every dialogue meant something. Now keeping in mind how carefully he made this manga, we look at all the little details.

Isayama himself approved the head grab scene in the anime and we know how it went against Levi's every single principle. His FINGERS ARE ENTANGLED IN HER HAIR. Hair which she rarely ever washes and Levi is supposed to hate filthy things. She's IN HIS PERSONAL SPACE.

Then there's the black jacket yams said wasn't Levi's and we saw it on Hange too. Again a very subtle detail but I'd never ignore it cuz Isayama is the master of subtle details.

Hange practically proposed to him in the forest scene. "Maybe we should just live here together" like hello?? What kind of thoughts had she been having to say that in a moment where her defenses were down? Clearly nothing about friendship. If Yams didn't wanna hint anything he could've kept it simple like 'maybe we should stay hidden here' or idk something like that, but no. Living together. The stuff couples do.

Then there's the "yet another love for a titan gone unrequited" line Levi says in ch132 and we know, in Japanese, it sounds like Levi's implying her love for someone else is requited (and there was only Levi left alive as a potential love interest for Hange at that time so we know who that mysterious someone is). Isayama could've written anything else but he chose to have Levi say words that had potential other meanings. Why would he do that? That guy knows his language, he could've phrased it any other way but he didn't

Then there's the interpretations of the 'Dedicate your heart' from ch132 and they make so much sense. It was such an intimate gesture on Levi's part I just can't. Here again, Isayama could've had Levi do the standard salute with his fist on his own heart and keep it all professional, a last goodbye from Captain to Commander. But no Levi rests his fist on Hange's heart and adds another layer of meaning, of longing, in that goodbye.

One can argue he did it because Hange probably didn't have the courage to go on, so he did the salute for her to make sure she didn't waver in her duty. Which is, ok, a bit valid--BUT. Remember how Erwin was also hesitating before his death? I can't say he was scared but he was considering the selfish way out to the basement. He needed a push too. And Levi gave him exactly that. No salute, nothing about hearts or dedication, instead a "Give up on your dreams and die" and a vow to kill Zeke. So we know Levi knows what to say to people who are leaving, he knows the words to give a dying man because he's seen so many. He could've done the same with Hange, could've said the right words so she didn't waver and got that push she needed. But he chose a gesture instead. His fist, not even on his own heart but hers. It was more than just a push, hell maybe it was a plea to come back alive. We'll never know

Then there's the little things in the manga. Like how Levi knew something was wrong with Hange after Pastor Nick's death and was visibly concerned about her, and said "Why do you need to keep it in, tell me Hange."

They've got nicknames for each other. I've never seen Levi give anyone a nickname ok, and then he calls her shitty-glasses/four-eyes. And Hange calls him clean-freak. Not the typical nicknames two people would give each other but hey they're both abnormals after all.

There you have it anon. Levihan's backed up by so much canon hints and crumbs that it's impossible to feel they didn't have something between them.

That got so long lol, you probably didn't expect to have an essay handed out to you. Thanks for dropping by and hopefully you found your answer in here!

[midzilla]

Oops.

[vehemourn]

smth i honestly recommend everyone should do is like. keep a private folder of art u like on ur computer lol. and like. download art u like when u see it. ur gonna lose stuff Forever if u just like it, u know? and like, discord archives arent really enough lol. I have been downloading art since like 2016 & I have a LOT of art that was scrubbed from the internet otherwise, especially due to like. the antics of deviantart & twitter. And on things like twitter theres Barely a way to save art to begin with (bookmarks is Not good enough)

u do kinda lose Credit a lot of the time (unless u save it with it named? which i do sometimes but not always) and often like, it won't be the Perfect HQ or itll have a massive watermark on it. but like. since it's not really for Sharing as much as its for my own personal enjoyment, these things don't really bother me at all... Having a collection of art that i love that I can look at offline & like, On My Computer is so nice. And I back up a lot of it on hard drives when i back up my own art! Again, like, a lot of these pieces this is the Only way i can look at them anymore, and Maybe the only archive OF them.... I've had pieces from my friends Before they were my friends, that i just saved as a "fan", that THEY lost years later... I have pieces they hadn't Seen in years. And every year I Probably save at least a few more pieces that will become like, totally scrubbed from technology otherwise. idk. i think it's nice to have an archive of this art that is in my taste but also like, that i'd likely Lose otherwise.

i Hope people save my art. I don't honestly Think anyone does, but I Hope that like, if my shit ever blows up and all my accounts get scrubbed, Someone has at least one drawing I made saved to their computer 2 remember me. u know. Its like a scrapbook. I remember these ppls characters, i remember the communities at the time, i remember how i felt when i first saw the piece. Its really inspiring but also genuinely like, really Important to me and sentimental. I kinda think everyone should have their own collection but I think people are genuinely Scared to right click & save ppls art LOL. Genuinely where is the harm, though.

[vaguely-concerned]

thinking about not only the specific people lucanis pulls in to represent the 'locks' in his psyche, but the storytelling that happens in the structure/order of them. the underlying ideas are presented something like:

the lucanis who went into the ossuary never came back out again; he died down there (the boy caterina raised is gone forever) -> you're putting yourself in danger doing this (by being close to me), you should leave because I can't bear it if you get hurt because of me -> it doesn't matter even if we do try this, it won't work anyway (again because of me) ('you know what he's like, you can open the door but he won't walk through it' :'( oofie doofie) -> what if the real secret is that there was never anything but the monster in here from the beginning. you should leave, there was never anything here worth saving in the first place. (implicitly: what if I deserved what happened, all along.)

it runs pretty cleanly from outward-oriented attachment anxiety ('caterina won't even want me back like this, she won't recognize me (the same way I no longer recognize myself)) and gradually deeper inwards until we reach self-image and self worth. or you know, the harrowing basic lack of it lol.

"careful -- they'll know we're not right," spite says in one of their first scenes... but clearly, some very deep part of lucanis has feared or suspected for much longer than that that there's something inherently not right at the core of him, way before any demon entered the picture. and the voice he gives those lines to is the person who should know him better than anyone in the world, who he has loved more than anyone in the world -- and who deliberately chose to hurt him so horrifically anyway. 'It's better if I'm just a monster and deserved what happened than it is to allow for the idea that the brother I love doesn't really exist and maybe never did'. it's better if he's fundamentally flawed in some way that needed fixing to help him survive, and that's why caterina chose to hurt him again and again -- out of love. (this one I think he might have a very sad wakeup call on one day if he ever ends up with the responsibility and care of a child of his own in some way and realizes just how alien the idea of ever intentionally hurting them for any reason is to him. oh buddy. also interesting that he keeps caterina as the outermost lock -- there IS a distance he keeps there that he hasn't with illario. he doesn't resent her 'anymore' he says, but he also keeps her carefully further away from his deepest self.)

as far as I could tell the only note in the mind prison that's fully hidden and needs to be uncovered is the sad painful helpless stupid little truth that even after all this, even knowing what happened... he still loves his brother. is there anything illario could ever do that would make lucanis completely stop loving him, do you think? sometimes the trouble with unconditional love is that it is, well. unconditional, even when some terms and conditions probably would have been in order haha.

that's the pattern you see there again and again; he would rather destroy and abandon and imprison himself at every turn than let go of love, even when it's just scraps, even when there's only ever enough of it to hurt him. it's only when rook shows up and as it were takes his hand and walks along with him that he can entertain the idea of changing the story of what walking out the door might mean in the end.

[deoidesign]

One of my first digital pieces (2010) versus one of my recent ones (2024)

We all start somewhere!

[hiding-under-the-willow]

Okay. hear me out. Creaking Helsknight

[dollsome-does-tumblr]

do you think it's weird or unfounded to not want to use chat gpt due to the environmental cost? i feel really strongly that i want to completely avoid it (and, like, recreational/work related ai in general) for that reason, but people seem to think this is really weird when i express that as a reason. but i feel like i should be able to make this call if i want to and that's a good reason to not use it. i don't know?!?!?! i don't get anything anymore?!?!?!

[meamiki]

my friend and i have this ongoing bit on stream where we are going to shave the king bald...... yeah........

((there are actually two ongoing bits with the king. but i do not think anyone wants me to illustrate the second one. including myself. perhaps i am a coward and that is okay. i will not be elaborating at this time. SAFSADASDAS))

[somegrumpynerd]

Does anyone else hc that Nightmare can like, absorb his tentacles back into his body sometimes? Like the way Stitch does with his extra arms?

[fifizero]

meeeowww

[nabaath-areng]

I have way too many alts that I keep to myself (which is why I generally refrain from posting them), but I'm going to ignore that habit for a moment just because I'm feeling particularly insane about this guy.

[uhbasicallyjustmilex]

i am almost thirty years old. why must i still be plagued by the perpetual and unshakeable belief that everyone secretly dislikes me