#im betting shes thought about it and is like. yeah im bi. whatever. and just... isnt the type to bring it up | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

fruitymimi · 4 years ago

Note

Hii, um, this is my first time requesting something like this. I was wondering if you could do a kink fanfic for Shigaraki x Female!Reader, with 9, 13, and 19? Thank you! And I love your work!💖

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆　　｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

pairing; tomura shigaraki x fem!reader

word count; 2.2k

warnings; cursing, smut, degradation, tomura calls reader filthy and dumb, hate sex

kinks used;

9. Breeding

13. Degradation

19. Hate Sex

mimis thoughts; here the reader is overhaul’s assistant w/ a cat quirk, but i don’t think i really mention anything cat like?? also this is LONG overdue, as well as some other requests,,, im gonna try and get caught up

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆　　｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

“How the hell am I supposed to work with her?” Tomura groaned, throwing his head back almost like a child, “She’s always complaining and always says something about how I run my organization!” He ranted, his brows furrowed.

He spoke as if she wasn’t right in front of him. “It’s getting to the point of where I don’t even care about what Overhaul says. I want her fucking gone,” Tomura stomped his foot, crossing his arms.

Finally, Dabi had chimed in. “Shiggy,” he called, looking at him, “You need to relax and talk it out with her. We have to get this job done, after that, you can do whatever you want.” He whispered, reminding him of the purpose of her being in their hideout.

She sat back on the raggedy couch, a smile on her lips as she looked at him. She’d be lying if she said Tomura didn’t look absolutely sexy when he was fuming like he was. “Really? Am I that hard to work with, Shiggy?” She mocked the nickname, dragging her nails against the soft, worn out cushion.

Tomura snapped his head over to her. His pale skin was now burning red, obviously from how angry he was. The only thing keeping him from lunging at her was the League. He let out a huff. “Let me talk to her alone,” Tomura said, looking up at Dabi.

Dabi pursed his lips, nodding his head. He was in no place to argue, nor did he care about whatever Tomura was planning to do or say to her. He led the rest out, making sure they closed the door behind them.

After the door was closed, the silence in the room was almost sickening. Tomura was just staring at her, no signs of sympathy in his red eyes. It was almost like you could cut the thick tension in half with a knife.

“Well,” she broke the awkward silence, her eyes nervously scanning his face, “if there’s something you want to say to me, say it now-“

“I don’t like you.” he deadpanned, walking over to stand in front of her on the couch.

She tilted her head, her eyes forming a squint. “Well damn, tell me how you really feel, jeez.”

“You’re not that smart, you act like you’re entitled, and you’re a bitch.” he continued, taking the harmless expression to an extreme.

“I’m a who?” Her tone changed when he called her that name, her arms crossed over her chest.

“A bitch. You. Are. A. Bitch.” Tomura punctuated each word with a step closer to her, his legs caught between hers where she was seated on the couch.

She looked up at him, flying to her feet to cancel as much power he had in that moment, a fast, thoughtless decision, really. “Yeah? I’m a bitch? You won’t do anything about it, though. You can call me a bitch all you want, you’re still bark and no bi-”

She was cut off by his long fingers clasping around her throat, the absence of his pinkie really giving no relief to the stinging sensation around her neck. Her airways were immediately cut, resulting in a choked out gasp erupting from her throat.

“No bark and no bite? Really? That’s the best you’ve got?” Tomura gave her a cocky smile, “I could kill you right here, you wouldn’t stop me, would you?” She could feel butterflies thumping in her stomach as she made eye contact with the villain. “You’re sick,” she snarled, her hand clenching around his wrist, “You wouldn’t hurt me.”

“And you’ve convinced yourself that why...?” he peered down at her, “I could do anything I wanted to you and not one of the people in here would bat an eye.” he pouted his lips.

She looked almost offended, “Yeah? Prove it. Do something to me.”

After staring at each other for so long, it was almost like instinct. Something you’d see in a movie. Tomura’s lips pressed against Y/N’s, the two sets of lips clashing against each other.

Surprisingly, Tomura’s lips were softer than they looked. His body was barely pressed against hers, but he radiated so much warmth despite his cold demeanor. She wrapped her arms around his neck, feeling his hands fall to her hips.

He broke the kiss, his lips bruised red. “Take off your clothes,” he told her, sitting down on the couch with his legs open. He tugged on her wrist when she was finished, pulling her to sit on his lap. “You know something, Y/N...?” he kissed down her neck, lips trailing down to her collarbone, “You sure did get undressed fast. Almost makes me think you’ve wanted this for a long time. Did you?” He raised a brow, his breath hot against her neck.

She put her hands on his shoulder to balance herself, her eyes fluttering shut as she nodded her head. “And so what if I was..?”

Tomura’s eyes flickered up to meet hers, “You’re still running your mouth? What a stupid slut you are. Open,” he tapped on her lips, his two fingers sliding into her mouth, “I’ll shut you up.”

Tomura pushed his fingers down her throat, abruptly pulling them out when he thought they were wet enough. He ran the two fingers down her clit, his lips attaching to her neck once more. He pressed the fingers at her hole, teeth biting down on the sensitive skin.

Her lips parted, nails instantly digging into his shoulder blades. His fingers sunk into her hole, a desperate moan ripping itself out of Y/N’s throat. He smiled against her skin, his eyes fluttering shut.

“That’s fucking right,” he said, the sound of her pants and gasps sent tingles straight to his cock. He slowly began to move his fingers in and out of her, the slow and agonizing drag of the digits made her grow more and more desperate for him. “Barely got anything inside of you and you’re already acting like a fucking whore.”

The pads of his fingers curled, pressing into her sensitive spot. She arched into him, eyes fluttering shut as the sensation. She rocked her hips against his fingers, grip tightening on his shoulders.

“I want you to beg for this cock.” he whispered against her, fingers not slowing down, “And I want everyone to hear you. Hear how you instantly became a whiny bitch for me, yeah? You’re already so desperate,” he teased. He was right, it was like her pussy was already gushing around his two fingers.

Tomura loved the way she got embarrassed, the way her hole fluttered around his fingers, how she let out pathetic whimpers at each curl of his fingers.

“I want your cock so badly,” she whined out, biting down on her bottom lip so hard she thought it’d bleed. Had she not been so distracted by his assault on her g-spot, she would have noticed the way his cock pressed painfully against his zipper, aching to just fill her tight cunt already.

Tomura hummed against her skin. “Yeah? Say it again for me. I want to hear you beg for this cock,” he quickened his pace, tongue licking over the newly made bruises against the soft flesh of her neck. He swiped his thumb over her clit, watching her face twist in pleasure at the blissful feeling. “If you can cum on my fingers, I’ll let you choke on this cock while I think about fucking that slutty pussy of yours,” he said to her.

She clenched around the two digits, feeling her muscles tighten and then finally relax. Her orgasm came washing over her, pussy gushing easily at his words. She hated to admit it, but the absolute humiliation he put her through aided her orgasm, sending aftershocks through her body, down to her sensitive clit.

Tomura pulled out his fingers, “Fucking filthy,” he spat, “Get between my legs.” he demanded, finally unzipping his pants and slid them off along with his boxers. His cock sprung free, the angry red tip slapping against his stomach when the cold air finally hit it. “Open your mouth.”

She did as he said, feeling Tomura wrap her hair around his hand, lowering her mouth down onto his cock. She closed her eyes, relaxing her throat so she could take him deeper.

Tomura wasted no time, hips bucking upward to find a steady pace. He began thrusting into her mouth, his head thrown back on the couch as he let out quiet, choked out grunts of ecstasy. He loved the way she sounded gagging on his cock, the way she couldn’t fit it all in her mouth, but it didn’t stop her from taking him deeper and deeper with each thrust of his hips.

Tomura bit his lip, eyes trained on her lips. They puckered around his cock, drool pooling out of her mouth as she worked wonders with her tongue. “Open your eyes, I wanna see your face,” he said, looking down at her.

She opened her eyes, tears brimming at the rims as she took his cock.

“That’s right, good girl...” he fought a smile, his cheeks blushed with a pretty red color, “Suck my cock, show me how much you like it... Show me how much of a slut you really are.” he teased, pushing her head down to lower her even farther.

She did as he said, hollowing her cheeks around him, letting out little whimpers to send vibrations up his cock, maintaining eye contact with the villain above her.

“If they were to see you,” he said in reference to the other villains, “They’d think you’re just a little whore. A filthy, nasty cumslut. You were made for this cock, weren’t you? Bet you can’t wait for me to fill up this pussy, can you? Can’t wait for me to destroy you and leave you breathless, huh...?”

She nodded her head, eyes looking up at him for pity. Tomura lifted her head, tugging her off of his cock. “Stand up.” he told her.

She did as he said, watching him stand from his seat on the couch. “Lay on the couch on your hands and knees,” he pushed at the back of her kneecaps.

When she did, Tomura went behind her, hands gripping at her hips. He lined himself up with her hole, tip rubbing against her slit to spread the slick around her cunt.

His cock sank into her, a sigh exiting both of their lips as he bottomed out. He didn’t exactly take it slow, as he wasn’t a patient person and it wouldn’t stop just for Y/N. He wanted her to feel like his slut, he wanted her to know that she was his slut.

“Fuck yourself on my cock,” he said, loosening his right grip on her hips so she could match his pace, “Make yourself cum on me.”

She rocked her hips back into him, hands gripping at the pillows to keep herself balanced. The stretch of his cock felt euphoric, the sudden fullness satisfied her in ways she couldn’t have even imagined.

“Don’t you feel gross? Fucking yourself against me where everybody else can see... Bet you’d like it if I came inside of you, you’d let me breed you, huh?” Tomura slapped the fat of her ass, watching the skin jiggle and bounce with each thrust, “Gonna fuck yourself stupid on my cock, aren’t you? I want you to barely remember your name while I fuck this pussy, watch you go dumb for this cock.” His word were like acid, each insult going straight to her cunt, adding to the pleasure of his cock.

Each time he spoke, it made her pussy throb. “I want you to— fuck,” she bit down on her lip, a moan ripping from her throat, “I want you to ruin me, please,” she begged, cunt fluttering around his dick.

“How disappointing d’you think it’d be if people found out the villain terrorizing their town got put in their place almost immediately? How fucking dumb you would look if they saw you. The girl they’re scared of getting fucked until she’s crying ‘cause of my cock, pretty little cunt just begging to be filled with my cum, yeah?”

She let out a sob, eyes crossing as he rammed into her from the back. Tomura’s filthy words were almost enough to send her over the edge again.

“Gonna cum on my cock? Do it.” He said, no intention on slowing his rough thrusts.

She clenched around him, her release gushing out onto his cock. Her cunt fluttered around him, eyes crossing, tongue drooling out of her mouth as she came.

Tomura closed his eyes, helping her through her orgasm with his rough thrusts. He could feel his own release approaching, but he wanted her to be completely focused on his cock.

She whimpered, “Cum in me. I want you to breed me and claim my pussy as yours,” she begged, looking up at him through her lashes, “Make me your stupid slut.”

Tomura’s thrusts grew sloppier, his eyes slowly closing from the feeling. He came inside of her, painting her insides white just like she’d asked. He could feel her cunt swallowing in his cum, both of them catching their breath, calming down from orgasms.

After awhile, Tomura pulled himself out of her, watching the cum drip from her hole, a thin line of sweat beading at his hairline.

She laid down on the couch, turning onto her back.

“You know,” Tomura began, ignoring her pants, “I don’t think i’m quite finished with you.”

#bnha x reader #mha x reader #tomura shigaraki x reader #tomura shigaraki x reader smut #mha x reader smut #tomura shigaraki #tomura.shigaraki

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you-cant-spell-subtext-without · 4 years ago

Text

I’m back on my bullshit and we have GOT TO TALK about 13x08 The Scorpion and the Frog; which serves as a good example of why you should not ONLY watch spn episodes with Cas (partially because of that scene I shamefully blogged about earlier - no I will not link that cursed post here). The episode title comes from a fable in which the villain is the scorpion. Interpretations of this fable note its uniqueness lies in the concept that “the scorpion is irrationally self destructive and fully aware of it.”

To quote the scorpion, buddies - “it’s in my nature.”

Anyway, this episode is subtextually predicated on exploring Dean Winchester’s nature and specifically - his bisexuality, and I’m not only saying that because it opens with Dean in his Bi Colors Plaid (that also he wore on his burger date with Cas).

Let’s get started, after the cut!

Season 13 on its face gives me absolute whiplash because it starts widow arc-reunion-TOMBSTONE and then Jack yeets himself off to Chuck knows where so Cas can go out Looking For Him Because Otherwise He Will Definitely Kiss Dean there is no other option for the writers at this point. Sigh. Here, have another shot of Dean anxiously cleaning his gun as he always does when Cas has Gone Off For Reasons -

Anyway, this feels like a filler episode at first, but as always they bury the ENTIRE damn world in it and I am here with my dossier to Unearth It.

Lets start with Bart (demon of terrible nicknames and microagressions) meeting the brothers at Smile Diner to talk about some spell or whatever.

(I am not thinking about the Cherry Pie meta I AM NOT)

THEY HAVE THE AUDACITY to start with these lines immediately introducing the theme of duality, a thread throughout this episode.

BARTHAMUS

Everything. I've been following your careers a long time. You're a real pain in the pitchfork. And the halo. Natural disrupters. We have that in common, you and I. DEAN

Mm. Yeah, we're twinsies.

***MORE DUALITY! But as we know, Dean does not like Bart because He Is A Freakin’ Demon

DEAN

Well, see, here's the thing. When a demon tells us to jump, we don't ask how high. We just ice their ass.

UMMM excuse me Barting Bacting Boices? What is that sexual gaze?

Then we find out that Bart has 1/2 of the spell. They need the other 1/2. Oh, a spell with two parts, you say? [ I am going to scream :) ]

***Also, Dean eats the pie Bart ordered. I cannot begin to explain to you the state of unwellness that I am in regarding how important this is. DEAN NEVER GETS TO EAT THE PIE, remember? But in This Filler Episode, Dean eats the pie. While Sam looks at him with a very quizzical expression. Pie -> what Dean wants but never actually gets -> Dean actively eating this pie. Dean is coming to terms that maybe he can have what he wants.

***I am reminding you again that this is post widower-arc, post-reunion, and especially post-Tombstone. Anyway-

Now we get to Smash and Grab. Not literally even though I want to Commit Such Conduct at this point. We are introduced to two one off characters named

Smash (human/female presenting) - can crack any safe built by man

and Grab (demon/male presenting)- expert in bypassing supernatural security.

Reaching or no, you can’t disagree that when spn introduces one off characters - it is almost always a Narrative Parallel or Mirror.

So we have a human and a demon (and Dean Winchester, a human who has been a demon)

who are experts in cracking open/bypassing something that has been secured and guarded (breaking down walls, if you will).

They also use fake names identifying them as Tools to be Used ( Dean Winchester, the Michael Sword/daddys blunt little instrument)

BONUS:

Dean himself is literally used as a tool in this episode.

So yeah. Smash and Grab are physical representations of Dean’s duality. Human/Demon. Femininity/Masculinity. Dare we say something else, too?

Anyway, Dean is paired with Smash and Grab; Sam is off to idk negotiate weird artifact purchases lawboy style with Luther Shrike, a man who cannot die so long as he never leaves his house (I cannot even begin to unpack this shit; please just sit there and think about it. I’m not even going there here. I CANNOT DISCUSS Luther Shrike RN).

Speaking of things I cannot discuss without halgdhsag;lsa - Smash has very Specific boots (a look overall, really).

DEAN

Hey, Winona. The '90s called. They'd like their shoes back. SMASH

Shh.

***That’s right girl - do not take his shit; he actually LOVES them and is therefore Overcompensating for it with this little jab.

***Dean’s pop culture references and particular attention to the details here Should Not Be Overlooked. 90s! Winona! Ryder!

ANYWAY, then Dean and Smash bond over a caffeinated beverage -

[While Dean is doing a spell, Smash opens a can of drink, takes a mouthful and burps loudly. ] SMASH

Ahh. DEAN

You're weird.

***This scene makes me literally insane. (even aside from Dean living on something named NERVE DAMAGE as a KID. They could have called it anything. You’re saying this wasn’t a Choice)

She chugs a swallow of the drink and burps. Something stereotypically associated with masculinity. Not feminine. Dean’s reaction is that she is “weird” - because she is not acting in a way stereotypically, J*hn Winchester brain-rot patriarchy bullshit-tily associated with Being Female. But also, says the stupid show, they like the same soda. They are The Same. She shares the soda with Dean. HIS FACE WHEN SHE DOES -

Other similarities are addressed throughout the episode (they are working for demons because they have no choice; they don’t discuss feelings/emotions, they both sold their soul, they both This Thing -

DEAN

You know, we could help you. SMASH

No, you can't. I gotta take care of me.

etc. etc.) Smash is absolutely dean-coded.

****Also it’s textually established that Smash thinks Dean is attractive -

GRAB

[looking at Smash] Oh. You said he was just a pretty face. SMASH

Shh.

***But Grab flirts with him too.

DEAN

I will kill you. GRAB

I bet you say that to all the girls.

***sorry, Grab - you won’t get far with Dean, but only because as he mentioned in the beginning of this episode -

Drowley rights.

Now Dean has to put his hand in the mouth of this stone lion thing and all of a sudden he is acting....very-not-like-Dean.

[Dean looks again and takes a deep breath.] DEAN

I… how about this? What if I cut myself, put it on, like, a little piece of paper? We'll just wad it up and throw it in the mouth, okay? Okay.

***Dean Winchester, who has been to Literal HELL, who has been torn apart by hellhounds, who has battled the devil and angels and God’s sister - all at the expense of his own life is now - afraid of spiders. Well, technically he has always been afraid of spiders, but why isn’t ‘he being performative about it At This Time??

***Come to think of it, this sends me right back to how Jackles was playing Dean in 12x11 Regarding Dean THE episode dissecting Dean’s performative masculinity [one day I will clean up and post that analysis sitting in my drafts like a sad hamster]. That makes sense actually, because -> -> ->

that episode and this one are both written by Meredith Glynn. Girl get in I want to torture you affectionately with a barrage of questions.

So here we have Dean and he’s not performing for Reasons, and he’s scared he’s genuinely scared of putting his hand in this stone lion-gargoyle-pig-creature’s mouth and then -

Smash gives him a push.

She gives him a push. I cannot stop thinking about how she gives him a push. A push to go do this thing that he is scared of; his fear being something he was hiding under his performative masculinity. Smash - dean coded dean mirror who does not perform femininity and is ‘weird’ - she gives him a p u s h.

***linking here for the jackting joices that follow.

Now, let’s circle back to Smash’s story; why she is working for Bart in the first place -

SMASH

You think I wanna be here? Like I have a choice? SAM

You made a deal. SMASH

Wow! You think? SAM

You sold your soul. SMASH

And if I could take it back, I would.

there is no reason for this picture here other than I needed you to see the jackting again

***How does the story end for Smash?

DEAN

Take care of you. [Dean glances down at the box, and then at Smash. She sees that Dean has put a lighter on top of the bones.] BARTHAMUS

Alice, chop chop!

[Bart indicates she should get his bones]. SMASH

Yeah. [She grabs the lighter and sets Bart's bones alight. Bart screams as he bursts into flames. ]

***She accepts help and breaks free from the narrative, literally burning it down. The female presenting but not female-performing “weird” ooc representing a side of Dean breaks FREE because she makes a choice. The lighter Dean drops? It’s a push. And she goes with it.

Alice reclaims her story.

(Also, Grab gets ganked. The male presenting ooc; the performative masculinity side; the demon; the darkness; the not-humanity - gets ganked).

Guess what Dean says to Alice when they say goodbye?

DEAN

Hey, Alice. Stay weird.

[I know the peace sign is probably just a Charlie throwback but I’d still like to say duality. Two. ]

Dean’s not just talking to Alice. He’s talking to himself; because the walls have been breached and for once Dean isn’t as scared of being different. Maybe, just maybe, he’s going along with the push. That’s exactly how the episode ends - with Dean feeling a little more hopeful, a little more at peace; a little more Considering he is capable of not only loving Cas but also not hating himself for it.

[until the knowledge that Mary is still alive and the guilt of allowing himself ANY happy thoughts instead of looking for her miserably rears its ugly head in 13x09 and round and round we go but for NOW at least -> ]

DEAN

I'll drink to that.

(oh look Dean is just wearing his henley. It’s almost as if a layer has been peeled back).

tagging @im-shaking-like-milk and @deanwasalwaysbi for letting me ramble on to them while writing this; and @lilac-void because you are always so kind about my stuff :)

#my spn meta #spn analysis #spn 13x08 #bi!dean #destiel #deancas #hellerism #spn #supernatural #spn fandom #spn family #spn meta

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luminous-shifting-vibes · 4 years ago

Text

*sequel* to actual fucking quotes from the shiftblr coffeehouse discord server

once again, it's out of context because x1000 funnier

also x1000 longer than previous post

"ur satan is gnc af"

"Bestie I’m already having gender envy over a fucking demon please"

"O_O ODEPIJHFbavevisdpvfhzdcnjawedsidjksjdkoeirjfmkdsoeirujdksodifjndmksoidfjdksidfj ITS" NOT IN MY FRAFTS IS SPEDNT 1 hour PN THAT SHIT"

"AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

"ohoho sexy"

"I am very proud of myself"

"himbo x edgy fuck"

"YOU COULD SQUISH HES CHEECKS"

"he has teefs"

"SQUASH"

"good for biting 📷"

"he's a himbo basically"

"B͂̒̄iͫ̍̈tͧ̓ͯè̄̇"

"bifth"

"i havent watched blue exorcist in years but mr okumura my beloved </3"

"MY LIFE QUESTIONS HAVE BEEN ANSWERED"

"is it important information to mention that the person i put up for my turn is the son of satan" "I know like 1 thing about everyone who isnt ranboo lmfao"

"crimes"

"tumblr sexyman"

"idk why but my first thought was cowboy onceler"

"I vibe with him but he is very long and twisty"

"steampunk e-girl"

"steampunk tumblr sexyman"

"Canonically bi crimelord I agree!!"

"OOO FRIEND SHAPED"

"ARTIST SIGHTED"

"they look like someone i would want to be friends with but is way cooler than me so i'd never actually talk to them"

"babby..... would die for him"

"honestly i probably kin him"

"i'm sure he's lovely but he looks way too much like my ex i'm sorry-"

"i'd be down for another rotation! i have another twink to show y'all"

"Also :00 blonde friend"

"Let us all infodhmo"

"Hsjagdvbs shhh im on phone"

"Nix woukd you like to joon?

"skitters away"

"I have two braincells and they both drink dumb bitch juice"

"oof wait whats the order again i have 0 memory"

"i want to bond with him over cosplay-"

"Awkwardly watches in band kid"

"One day I'm gonna a broadway star"

"which isnt to say they were bad. they were just fortnite dancing during rehersals"

"I threw it so hard my glasses flew off and slid under the stage right divider"

"anyway heres my boi"

"emo"

"haha emo"

"virgil sanders kinnie"

"he looks like he listens to my chemical panic at the fallout boy"

"Bro I bet he'd kick my ass with his deck"

"bird man my beloved"

"fuck i had so much to say and then i forgot it all"

"Birds!!"

"guiguhuh"

"crabrave"

"She sounds like someone I would end up stealing her personality"

"yess name collector gang"

"alias glass aiden haven absinthe fish brick rice"

"But I have Cypress, Remure, Genesis, Lemres, and Comet"

"And she's named after a mars candy bar bc alien"

"Hey, if plato went by plato, you can be king thief"

"im not dissing my gramma like that shfojd"

"My dad has seven legal names" "bitches be like *looks at fictional character* *steals their name* it's us we're bithces"

"coraline lowkey traumatized me but i adore it regardless"

"mmmmmm magic man :]"

"°0�� green man"

"criminal (affectionate)"

"he would shoplift a candy bar from walmart and then brag to all of his friends about the sick stealing he did"

"despite the fact he's canonically been capable of overpowering a minor deity"

"i would commit so many crimes for him"

"Very babey"

"Yes please tell green man he is very pog"

"he also keeps a lot of dumb secrets"

"but I will sorely miss the chaos and energy of this here chat until I wake again" (by request XD)

"i just say words and if they're funny then they're funny"

"* or extremly chaotic either works"

"at this point we are just taking turns rambling"

"oH--"

"bc my brain has a schedule"

"Hopefully they have gyoza there or I will lose my mind"

"hehe yes spooky man"

"my ghost glucose guardian"

"the head of the undead group that lives there, and we end up dating. (yes I date a ghost, no I will not be taking constructive criticism /lh)"

"ghosts r just inherently sexy"

"i mean im becoming a squid thing so"

"Raven quirk raven quirk!!"

"ł â m p"

"łæmp"

"mothman: ooh lamp you look very nice today! do you come here often? mothman: wait shit no"

"I'd date a ghost"

"mine is still accurate, i am still sobbing (/j)"

"p e e p e e"

""@nick wilde is a tumblr sexyman" is the best thing i have ever seen"

"im sorry im cackling like a dying hyena"

"you're all 12 year olds"

"PEENIE"

"He once caused global warming on accident so he could get a tan"

"god, what a himbo. i love him"

"that reminds me of my friends kin assigned me jesus"

"Man outside of battle be like: princely crying but then in battle hes like: "CATACLYSM! DISASTER! DEVASTATION!" Chill out man"

"Every time I talk about satan it never fails to shock people it's my favorite thing to do"

"im kin assigning him roman sanders" ""Oh yeah he caused global warming because he wanted to get girls" "he what""

"oh damn i forgot satan was straight"

"twink appreciation club"

"give us the twinks"

"my first thought was bottom-"

"so many people to try and get his dad to love him"

"daddy issued"

"OH MY GOD ITS WILBUR"

"Big boy but"

"anyways janus is swagggg"

"........................."

"gib twink"

"give twink then i will share"

"holds him gentle like hamburger"

"This dumb bitch opened a book that said "do not open" and got possessed by a little bastard"

"he is. fragile creachur"

"klug is beauty klug is grace i would let him step on my face"

"If I'm playing swap and I have to hear one more "Pwanet Powew" Im gonna lose it"

"Who is to blame? Pandora or the box?"

"Bakugo isnt my type but I respect the drip"

"i say like my type isnt long-haired pretty boys and girls that look so gnc that people have a history of confusing them for men"

"hes a gremlin and i can appreciate a pretty gremlin"

"that is to say i am attracted to VFlower vocaloid. This is a confession."

"note i am a lesbian"

"You may like Schezo wegey"

"why does he have one single expression"

"soul soul eater passes the vibe check"

"magic wand"

"I Want To Hold His Hand"

"i would commit a war crime for him any war crime idc which one"

"my favorite one is when he sounded rlly gay because he said "Muscular bodies keep me satisfied""

"p e a n u t"

"Klug is a homophobic homosexual its just facts"

"grug from the croods is peak male performance"

"jaw drops to floor, eyes pop out of sockets accompanied by trumpets, heart beats out of chest, awooga awooga sound effect, pulls chain on train whistle that has appeared next to head as steam blows out, slams fists on table, rattling any plates, bowls or silverware, whistles loudly, fireworks shoot from top of head, pants loudly as tongue hangs out of mouth, wipes comically large bead of sweat from forehead, clears throat, straightens tie, combs hair Ahem, you look very lovely."

"tag yourself im the fireworks shooting from the top of the head"

"i like essays"

"central time gang"

"11:11 pog-" (wait... is that a suprise angel number?? yes it is lovelies just for you <3)

"Then again im also a dumbass bitch who wonders what the souls in soul eater taste like. SERIOUSLY THOUGH. THEY LOOK TASTY AS HELL!!!! LIKE GODDAMN BRO YOU'RE MAKING ME FUCKING HUNGRY. Like. that shit- it's Bone Apple motherfucking Teeth. hell yea my guy. Im hongy now.... shlorp I'm seriously considering this. Like. They seem kinda like a liquid? But a solid? Are they like jello? The fuck they taste like my guy???? I keep imagining they're like sour, like sour candy maybe? Or do they taste salty? Sweet? Maybe some combo of two? Do they even have a taste or is it about the texture? The sensation? God my mouth is watering what the hell. I am starving. I think I need to go get a cookie. I'm gonna go get a cookie. Brb. I'm better. I'm still craving souls though. Which is a weird-ass cringey thing to say but I'm being dead-ass rn. They just.... look tasty???? And I wanna eat one. Thus. I am shifting to Soul Eater for the express purpose of satisfying my fucking cravings. enjoy"

"points were made"

"jello? more like helloooo schloooAHFJDSDAIDWNALDHSJKDAIDANDM"

"WAIT I THINK I HAVE AN ANIME GIRL BITING VIDEO TOO"

"anime girl voice: mmm! mm... ahhhhmp!! mmm, mmm... aaahmp!"

"i think it sounds great i'm going to start eating like that"

"several people are typing"

"do these look edible to you"

"forbidden gummies"

"when I was on lsd I couldn't eat my fruit gummies because I thought they were alive because they had little faces on them"

"oh shit yeah don't do drugs"

"anyways general consensus is puyos are edible, ty for your input everyone"

"everypony is a word so powerful it can bring nations to its knees"

"pls the self control it's taking me not to say "hewwo everypony" in gen chat when someone new joins-"

"hewwo evewrypony uwu deaw cewestia i hopwe it doewsnt wain owo"

"ive cooked up a sowution wiwth the knowwege ive acwued. they say a kitcwen time saves niwne, but im just savwing two. Ive gathewwed the inwedients to make a time sowbet. Thewe's hawdly woom fow seconds when the seconds mewt away."

"I had a ten year old sister... you know what happened to her??? very sad, very tragic... she turned eleven....."

"NIIICE"

"Guts dont say the secks word :( /j"

"watch your fucking language in front of the president"

"im so sorry lumi"

"i think you're like ehhhh 8/10 funny"

"now me???? 10/10. Hilarious"

"sometimes i have to take a step back and remember that this is the same guts i follow on tumblr /lh"

""ok every here's some good shifting advice!!! uwu have a good day" "yeah i did lsd and ate fruit gummies""

"i have one setting and it's whatever this is"

"my bitch ass cat just pushed the door open with his fuzzy face and now my sleeping dad is being lulled into dreams by Cosmo Sheldrake's 'Pliocine'."

"me on discord: nick wilde"

"me on tumblr: shifting water! haha funne! me on here: my hermit crabs are cannibals also i want to eat souls."

"im sorry yOUR VIBESA RE JUST SO DIFFERNT"

"u give off older cousin ive never spoken to but always admire at the family gatherings vibes"

"what the fuck"

"BC I HAVE LIBERTU"

"If you adopt me then yes"

"am I qualified for dad jokes???"

"we're all a lot smarter on tumblr"

"I'm like "awww... sweet... sweet little shiftlings... posting such sweet shiftling content... so pure, so wholesome... does not even know abcs....""

"can't think before you speak if you never think B)"

"I'm not responsible enough to be a mom"

"cat pet"

"show us pictures of the cat or i will do Crime"

"maybe thats me being a coward tho"

"MOTH!!!! MOTH MY BELOVED"

if y'all want I can make this a series bc shiftblr keeps giving me more content

#tw drugs #tw swearing #tw cannibalism #tw crime #tw food #tw homophobia #shitpost #out of context #out of context quotes #lumi's quotes

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bl597 · 5 years ago

Note

🍒- heyy:) i’m a gryffindor(she/her), i’m bi, i really like reading, playing guitar, hanging out with my friends, watching movies/tv shows... i consider myself a very creative person and very energetic(?), i’m always up to do something and i love exploring new things and going on adventures! thank u!! and congrats on ur 300 followers i’m so happy for youuu

hey sweetheart, hope you enjoy it!! thank you so much, your support means a lot to me🥺💖

warnings: none, just fluff?? this one is kinda big oopsie, this isn't reviewed bc im lazy, english is not my first language, so I'm sorry for any mistakes!

my masterlist ♡ join my sleepover!

I ship you with... Harry Potter!

you and Harry have quite a taste for getting in trouble

not really getting in trouble, just going on adventures and ending up getting in trouble

its as if you two had a magnetic for trouble inside of you

and that was how you actually met

you grew up hearing about the boy who lived

and how he defeated you-know-who when he was just a one year old baby

and how he brought peace and safety to the wizard world

it was impossible not to know who Harry Potter was

in your first year, the only thing you could hear about on the train were rumors that Harry was entering Hogwarts this year

and everyone was like mERLIN'S BEARD!!! ITS HARRY POTTER!!

and a lot of people were not so discretely pointing at the dark haired boy

or better, at his scar

the oh so famous scar

and you could cleary see how uncomfortable he was with all the sudden attention he was getting

so you decided to let him breath instead of observe his every more just like almost everyone was doing

anyways

you got sorted into Gryffindor!!

and you were so happy bc almost your whole family was from that house

and it was just so exciting!!!

Harry was a Gryffindor too and although you were housemates, you didn't really talk to each other

though you always knew what happened to him bc the news at Hogwarts spread faster than anything

ok so you officially met each other in potions detention:D

you didn't really do anything but Snape just doesn't like Gryffindors

or kids

or people in general

so you had to go to the dungeons after dinner

and when you entered the classroom, you actually thought you were in a regular class bc there were a lot of students?????

you recognized some familiar faces like Neville Longbottom, Seamus Finnigan, the Weasley Twins, Lee Jordan and Harry Potter and two Ravenclaw girls

you suppressed a laugh when you walked past Snape and saw his expression

and then you sat down on the only available place: right by Harry's side

you two made some small talks every now and then and quietly laughed at Snape

and after that night you two became friends :D

the next morning when you were having breakfast at the Great Hall

Harry shyly approached you and you two started talking

qne then he introduced you to his best friends: Ronald Weasley and Hermione Granger

you befriended them too yay

okay

so you and Harry always hang out together sometimes

and after a year or two of you two just spending time together

Harry started realising that his feelings for you weren't platonic anymore, he saw you as 'something else'

and he got really awkward (yeah, more than he already is)

and you immediately noticed it bc like???? the boy could barely stay in the same room as you without looking like a tomato and saying the most random things ever???

and you tried to convince yourself it was just something random like puberty idk

because you may or may not had feelings for the awkward boy too

but you didn't want to think about it because you didn't want to feed your hopes bc c'mon

it's Harry Potter, the boy who lived, the youngest seeker of the century

why would he want someone like you?

bc you're amazing and you're the sweetest and a fantastic person who deserves all the love in the world pls don't doubt yourself

and Ron and Mione were so done with you and Harry being so oblivious

so they set up a plan to get you two to confess to each other

it worked and you're now dating :D

Harry always supports you, no matter what

but he wouldn't want you to get involved in the adventures he gets himself into bc they're too dangerous and he would never want you to get hurt especially bc of him :(

he loves it when you read to him while you cuddle in the common room (hes the small spoon and thats it thats a canon)

he also adores to watch you play guitar because omg you're amazing

he always listens to whatever you're talkinf about with a silly smile on his face

because you talk about it with such admiration and with such a beautiful, wide smile that it makes his heart beat like crazy

he's very shy and whenever you held his hand or kissed his cheeks/lips he would be like ohmygODSJDBDOSJDJSKSHDKDLSJDKD inside

which is adorable :((

this little bean is head over heels for you

you two always go on adventures together

and sometimes walk around the castle at night just to have some fun

Filch once almost caught you two lol

and you are the cutest couple in Hogwarts

ugh Harry is so sweet

this got enormous????? sorry kzkdjdkdk

I ship you with... James Potter!

you and James boy are the Hogwarts' troublemaker couple™

and everyone knows you two

because you and the boys are always pulling pranks and getting detention

Filch hates you lol

ok so you two actually went on your first because of a sily bet you made to see who pulled the best prank:

if you won, he would do all your homework for a few weeks

and if he won, you'd go on a date with him

guess who won :D

you accepted it as a joke

not really expecting it to turn into something else

but turns out you had a great time together!!

it was a Hogsmead trip so you went to almost every shop there

and he bought you a lot of candies despite you telling him he didn't need to

anyways

after that date, you both agreed on going out together more times

just to see what could happen

and it went perfectly fine

so you started dating :D

you are the cheesiest couple Hogwarts has ever seen

he loves pda

he's always holding your hand, hugging you or kissing you

no matter where you are

James is a very sweet and caring boyfriend

and he always supports you and your decisions

and he would never

i said never

pressure you to do something you don't want to or that you're uncomfortable with

he's a gentleman and wants you to be comfortable around him

you and the boys always hang out together bc you are besties™

you and James use his invisibility cloak to sneak into the kitchen in the middle of the night

or to go to the Astronomy Tower for a midnight date

you're always cheering for him during quiddich games

and you proudly scream at everyone around you that that boy with messy dark hair amd wearing glasses flying right up there was you boyfriend

because you're so proud of him:(

he loves it when you read to him

because your voice is so angelic and every word that leaves your mouth is like a song to him

he loves it when you play guitar because you're so talented and he thinks you're so perfect

and he's so in love with you

he'd do anything to make sure you're happy and alright

and he always makes sure that you're getting the right amount of food and sleep that you need

he always tells you jokes because you laugh so hard at them

and your laugh is the most beautiful and precious thing he's ever witnessed

James would do anything for you

i'm not even joking

the little shit would throw himself from the Astronomy tower if you ever asked him to

he gladly never did it because you're not crazy to tell the kid to literally kill himself right plis dont do it

anywAys

James Potter is the best boyfriend someone could ask for

change my mind about it💅

i think I'll stop here

it got way much shorter than Harry's bc i got a little too excited while writing it but yeah whatever jsjskdjdkd

#harry potter imagines #harry potter x reader #harry potter x you #hp imagine #hp x reader #hp x you #marauders era x reader #hp headcanon #hp preference #daniel radcliffe #james potter x you #james potter x reader #james potter imagine #james potter headcanon #marauders headcanon #young!james potter #bia's sleepover

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chaoticdisater · 5 years ago

Text

Red white & royal Blue Favourite quotes

“How many times do I have to tell Y’all not to discuss your murder plots in front of a sitting president” their mother interrupts “Plausible deniability. Come on” (Pg 64)

I don't know WHO you think you're kidding, you Hufflepuff-ass bitch, (Alex to henry over text pg 69)

“‘put the turkeys in my room’ ‘No.’ ‘put them in my room, put them in my room, put them in my room -’ later that night as Alex stares into the cold pitiless eyes of a prehistoric beast of prey, he has a few regrets” (Alex and his mother Pg 76)

“’he- Oi! Not for you Mr.wobbles! those are mine!’ more rustling and a distant offended Meow, ‘no, Mr. wobbles you bastard!’” (Henry at his sister's cat, pg 80)

“Dec 8, 2019, 8:53 PM yo there's a bond marathon on and did you know your dad was a total babe HRH prince Dickhead I BEG YOU TO NOT “ (Henry and Alex over text Pg 84)

“’ the options Id like...’ he says dragging the words out. ‘they don't quite seem to be options at all’” (Henry Pg 107)

“’ christ you're a thick as it gets’ he says and he grabs Alex's face in both hands and kisses him.” (Henry Pg 107)

“‘Seventy-eight percent probability of latent Bi-sexual tendencies. one hundred percent probability this is not a hypothetical question’” (Nora pg 118)

“‘am I? do you think I'm Bi?’ ‘I can't tell you that Alex!’ she says ‘that's the whole point!’” (Alex and Nora Pg121)

“she slants a look at him ‘is this a diabolical scheme of seduction?’ she asks ‘if so, yes.’“ (Nora Pg 130)

“Alex knocks the candelabra off the table next to them and pushes henry onto it so hes sitting with his back against - Alex looks up and almost breaks into a deranged laugh - a portrait of alexander hamilton.” (Pg 132)

“‘im going to die’ henry says helplessly. ‘im going to kill you,’ Alex tells him.” (Henry and Alex pg 133)

‘”and if you fucking ghost me again, I'm going to get you put on a fucking no-fly list. got it’” (Alex at henry pg 134)

“worst of all, Henry is good“ (Alex's thoughts on henry playing Polo Pg 147)

“’I’m gonna go, Uh’ Alex says ‘say hi to henry’ Amy's mouth settles into a grim line ‘Please don't elaborate’ ‘Yeah I know’ Alex says ‘plausible deniability’” (Alex and Amy Pg 148)

‘A <[email protected]> to Henry his royal highness prince of whatever, Don't make me learn your actual title’ (Alex’s email to henry Pg 152)

‘Henry <[email protected]> to A Alex, first son of inappropriately timed Emails when I’m in early morning meetings’ (Henry’s email to Alex Pg 155)

“when he shows up to a briefing two days later Zahra grabs his jaw with one hand and turns his head, peering closer at the side of his neck. ‘is that a Hickey’ Alex freezes. ‘I . . . um, no?’” (Zahra and Alex pg 162)

“‘Do you have a last name?’ Alex has never actually offered a greeting when calling Henry ‘What?’ the usual bemused elongated one-syllable response” (163 Alex and henry over the phone)

“‘Baby’ its become a thing: Baby he knows it’s become a thing. hes slipped up and accidentally said it a few times, and each time, Henry positively melts” (Alex Pg 166)

“‘I miss you,’ Alex says before he can stop himself he instantly regrets ut but henry says. ‘I miss you too’” (pg 173)

“she flung her arm out emphatically enough to upset an entire potted cactus on her dresser and says ‘Because until now you weren't fucking the prince of England’” (June pg 177)

“‘you should try saying some of that stuff to Him’ ‘stop trying to Jane Austen my life’” (June and Alex Pg 180)

“’ is now a good time to point out henrys very hot Very rich best friend is basically in love with you?’ Alex says to June ‘hes like some kind of billionaire genius manic-pixie-dream philanthropist. I feel like you would be into that.’ ‘Please shut up,’” (Alex and June Pg 182)

“‘yes, yes, Pez, we know there's nothing you cant do,’ says henrys voice off-camera ‘no need to rub it in’“ (henry Pg 184)

“‘oh I haven't had vodka since uni,’ henry says ‘it tends to make me erm, well-’ ‘flamboyant?’ Pez offers. ‘uninhibited? randy?’ ‘Fun?’ Bea suggests ‘Excuses you, I am loads of fun all the time! I am a Delight’“ (Henry Bea and Pez pg 190)

“’yes Beatrice, we shall behave in a manner befitting the crown,’ henry says. his eyes are slightly crossed ‘don't be a tosser’“ (Henry and bea Pg 195)

“He likes taking henry apart but there's something incredibly intantament about sitting on the bed they wrecked the night before, the only one who watches him create Prince Henry of Wales for the day.” (Pg 200)

“‘So this is the gang now, huh?’ and through it all, Alex realizes with a start: he has friends now.” (Cash pg 201)

“How is a man to get anything done knowing Alex Claremont-Diaz is out there on the loose?” (Henrys email to Alex pg 203)

“yours in sexual frustration Henry” (henrys email to Alex pg 206)

“once again, how had he ever convinced himself he was straight,” (Alex pg 213)

“‘just so we’re clear,’ Alex said ‘Im about to have sex with you in this storage closet to spite your family. Like that's what's happening?’“ (Alex pg 217)

“your Brave I could use some of that” (Pg 218)

“Because that's what he would do if he were here in this palace to fall in love Henry” (Pg 220)

“Zahra doesnt even look up from her phone ‘that was my boyfriend and no, you may not ask me any further questions about him’” (Zahra Pg 223)

“If he’s some anonymous normal person removed from history he’s twenty-two and he’s tipsy and he’s pulling a guy into his hotel room by the belt loop. He’s pulling a lip between his teeth and he fumbling behind his back to switch on a lamp and he’s thinking I like this person” (Pg 228)

“You still are. Because you still bloody care so much.” He leans down and presses a kiss into Alex’s hair. “And you are good. Most things are awful most of the time but you’re good” (Henry Pg 230)

“’Seriously?’ She hisses ‘your literally putting your dick in the leader of a foreign state who is a man at the biggest political event before the election in a hotel full of reporters in a city full of cameras in a race close enough to fucking hinge on some bullshit like this like a manifestation of my fucking stress dreams and you’re asking me not to tell the president about it?’” (Zarha pg 233)

“The next slide is titled EXPLORING YOUR SEXUALITY: HEALTHY BUT DOES IT HAVE TO BE WITH THE PRINCE ENGLAND? she apologizes for not having time to come up with better titles Alex activity wishes for the sweet release of death” (Pg 237)

“History huh? I bet we could make some.” (Alex’s email to henry Pg 241)

“The pair of you share and an alarming number of traits by the by: passionate determination, never knowing when to shut up, &c &c,” (herny’s email to Alex Pg 242)

“Regards Haplessly romantic heretic prince henry the utterly daft” (henrys email to Alex pg 243)

“‘It’s math,’ Nora says ‘Math has no authority here,’ June tells her ‘Math is everywhere June’” (Nora and June Pg 247)

“Henry is tipsy and shirtless and attempting to referee” (pg 252)

��’Some times you just jump and hope it’s not a chiff’” (Alex dad Pg 256)

“Well, Alex is so in love he could die.” (Pg 257)

“He’s been falling in love with Henry for years probably since he first saw him in glossy print on the pages of j14 almost definitely since Henry pinned Alex to the floor of a medical supply closet and told him to shut the hell up.” (Pg 257)

“’Fuck off five nine is average’” (Pg 258)

“’H?’ He whispers ‘you awake?’ Henry sighs ‘always.’” ( Pg 260)

“He’s got a distinct feeling of something being pulled out of his hands right before he could grasp it.” (Pg 263)

“something rises in Alex's throat - anger, confusion, hurt, bile. Unforgivably, he feels like he might cry” (Pg 270)

“’Fuck I swear you don’t make it fucking easy but I’m in love with you’” (Alex Pg 271)

“’I never thought I’d be stood here faced with a choice I can’t make because I never ... I never imagined you would love me back’” (Henry pg 273)

“He’s in Henry’s face now if he’s getting his heart broken tonight he’s sure as hell going to make Henry have the guts to do it right ‘tell me you're done with me. I’ll get back on the plane. that's it. and you can live here in your tower and be miserable forever, write a whole book of sad fucking poems about it, whatever just say it’” (274)

“He’s in stupid unbearable love and Henry loves him too and at least for one night it matters, even if they both have to pretend to forget in the morning” (Pg 275)

“He tells his too fast brain: don’t miss this time he’s too important” (Alexs thoughts Pg 275)

“henry’s hands-on him are unhurried and soft and they make out lazily for hours or days.” (Pg 280)

“Alex sighs ‘i don't think I told you but she uh. well, when she fired me she told me that if I wasn't a thousand percent serious about you. I need to break things off.’ Henry nuzzles his nose behind Alex's ear ‘a thousand percent?’” (Alex and Henry Pg 282)

“‘Diaz you insane hopeless romantic little shit’ says the voice of the president of the united states, muffled in the bed ‘it had better be forever. Be safe’“ (Pg 284)

“hes cut off mid-sentence because Alex has stopped in the middle of the corridor and yanked him backwards into a kiss” (pg 286)

“’its funny’ henry says ‘i always thought of the whole thing as the most unforgivable thing about me but you act like its one of the best’“ (henry Pg 289)

“he takes the chain off his neck and slides the ring on next to the old house key. they click together gently as he tucks them both under his shirt, two homes side by side” (Pg 291)

“I opened my blasted mouth and said ‘because I'm not like the rest of the men in this family beginning with the fact that I'm am very deeply gay Philip’ once shaan managed to dislodge him from the chandelier Philip had quite a few words for me,” (Henry’s emails to Alex Pg 298)

“just leaving, not coming back. maybe burning something down on the way out. it would be nice.” (henrys emails to Alex pg 299)

“I thought, if someone like that ever loved me, it would set me on fire” (henrys emails to Alex (describing how he felt when he first saw Alex) Pg 300)

“20. the fact that you have loved me all along.” (alex’s email to henry (the list of things alex loves about henry) Pg 303)

“‘Oh my god Z what is That? did you get engaged?’ Zahra looks down at the ring and shrugs. ‘i had the week-end off’” (June and Zahra pg 305)

“’you and me and history, remember? were just gonna fucking fight. because your it okay? Im never gonna love anybody in the world like i love you,’“ (Alex pg 312)

“‘I swear to god if you say I'm too young I'm gonna lose my shit,’“ (Alex pg 315)

“What did he do ‘be more specific’“ (Alex to Zahra pg 321 )

“’the president is sitting down with as many members of the office of communitcs we could drag out of bed at three in the morning’” (Zahra Pg 323)

“‘pack a bag’ she says ‘we’re going to londan’” (Zahra Pg 334)

“she (Zarha) seems confident Shaan will agree to it and willing to physically overpower him if not.” (pg 334)

“still the cocky shit head part of him is slightly pleased to finally have claim on henry. Yep, the prince? Most eligible bachelor in the world? British accent face like a greek god, legs for days? Mine” (Pg 336)

“‘youre giving my ulcer an ulcer’“ (Zahra pg 336)

“‘Im running on nothing but black coffee, a wetzels pretzel, and a fistful of B12. Do not even breathe in my directrion,’“ (Zahra Pg 339)

“He leans up and kisses the underside of his jaw, finding it rough from a full fitful day,” (pg 340)

“‘What kind of family, that says we’ll take the murder, we’ll take the raping and pillaging and the colonizing, well scrub it up nice and neat in a museum but oh no you’re a bloody poof? That’s beyond our sense of decorum’” (Henry pg 347)

“Bea seizes the pot of tea from the center of the table and dumps it into his lap ‘Oh, I’m terribly sorry Pip’ she says grabbing him by the shoulders and shoving him sputtering and yelping toward the door ‘so deardfully clumsy, you know I think all that cocaine I did must have really done a job on my refexes!’” (Bea pg 357)

“Henry pulls Alex close and kisses him whispers, ‘I love you I love you I love you’ and it doesn’t matter, it doesn’t matter if anyone sees.” (Pg 358)

And that’s when I gave up I do have more but well I didn’t want to make this list any more

#alex claremont diaz #henry got to many names for me to remeber #prince henry of wales #red white and royal blue

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krissy-kat · 5 years ago

Text

PJOverse Headcanons Pt 6:-

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 7, Part 8

Harley

• The senior year wasn’t fun at all like in those high school dramas that Abbie likes to see, instead it was filled with stress of checking out the best scholarships, applying into colleges and worrying about getting in

• But throughout his senior year, Harley followed Spiderman news religiously

• “You know your celebrity crush on spiderman is worst than your pinning for Peter”

• “Nobody asked you Abbie”

• “Yeah whatever, I came here to tell you I want to go to Camp Half Blood this year because it’s probably your last year and I want to go there with you”

• “Really!”

• “Yeah”

• “Ok I’ll IM Chiron and ask him right away”

• “Calm down it’s getting late, ask him tomorrow”

• About 2 months before summer vacation, Harley receives a IM from MJ

• “Not that I’m complaining but you don’t IM me without a purpose, so what is it”

• “You are right, I trained you well ”

• “So”

• “You complained way too much when Peter stopped coming to Camp”

• “I’m sorry but what does this IM have to do with it ”

• “Let me finish first loser, Peter’s coming to Camp for the first week of Summer and you don’t come to Camp in the first week like ever, so I thought I let you know because I won’t be able to listen you whining about it all summer ”

• “Really!”

• “Yup, I gotta go now talk to you later ”

• “Bye”

• Harley informs Tony about change in plan

• “What urgent business do you have that has to be done in the first week, it’s like every one wants to abandon me that week ”

• “What happened Old Man”

• “Pepper have to Europe to check on branches there, Spiderman is going on a trip with his best friend and now even you aren’t coming that week”

• “Don’t be overdramatic, you’ll be fine and you are acting like we aren’t staying at all, we’ll staying with you in the last week of vacation ”

• “Wait a sec, we”

• “Did I not mention Abbie will be coming too”

• “What do mean Abbie is coming doesn’t she have Roman Camp to go ”

• “We have Exchange programs, so Abbie will be coming this year ”

• “So you are saying during the last week of summer, I’ll have handle not one, not two but three demigods, one of which will be starting high school, one senior year and one college next week, you guys are gonna make all my hair grey with stress of handling 3 overexcited ADHD teenagers”

• “Wait, three”

• “My intern is a demigod too, that’s why you guys won’t be meeting anytime soon”

• “Awww”

• Meanwhile in New York

• “What do mean you told Harley I’ll be coming in the first week”

• “It means exactly what you said ”

• “But MJ, I’m a bi disaster you can’t do that to me”

• “I already did ”

• “B..But”

• In the summer vacation Peter and Gang go to Camp

Summer Vacation

Day 1

• Ned stays in Athena Cabin with Peter

• “So when will I finally get to meet the famous Harley Keener”

• “He told me he’ll be coming in Evening so he’ll here soon” - MJ

• As of on clue, they hear a bantering between 2 voices, one that MJ recognize as of Harley’s

• “I can carry own luggage, I’m 14 not a toddler, you don’t need to carry it for me”

• “But I want to”

• MJ wanted to see how it unfolds, but Ned decided to be his sweet self and help them without even knowing that was Harley

• “Do you guys need any help, my friends and I would love to help you both” - Ned

• “Are new because I don’t remember seeing around last summer ” -Harley

• “He’s Ned, hey Harley, it’s been a long time ” - Peter said with heart eyes

• “Hey Peter ” - Harley

• They stare into each other’s eyes, Abbie couldn’t take the sexual tension and interrupts their longing gaze

• “Harley care to introduce me your friends”

• “Umm.. Yeah, this is Peter, he’s a son of Athena” -Harley

• “Hi” -Peter

• “This is Betty, daughter of Apollo ”

• “Nice to meet you”

• “That is MJ, daughter of Ares ”

• “Sup, loser”

• “That is Flash, son of Aphrodite, I don’t why he’s with them”

• “Ha Ha, very funny ”

• “No seriously I’m really confused last I heard MJ still had a grudge with you and now she is letting you hang out her”

• Abbie controls her laughter at Harley’s lack of tact

• “Well it’s been a whole year and we go to same High school, we can resolve it during the school year, you know ” -Flash

• “Wait a second, you go to same high school as MJ” -Harley

• “Harley we have been going to same school since before High School” -Betty

• “You go to same school too, next you’ll telling me Peter and the new kid go there as well” -Harley

• Betty, Peter, Ned and Flash avoids his stares, and MJ smirks meanwhile Abbie trying her best to not laugh at her brother’s dummbassry

• “Why the hell did I not know about this ” -Harley

• At this Abbie couldn’t control her laughter

• “You truly are a dumbass, let’s go keep the luggage in the Cabin, have dinner and discuss this in tomorrow, so you can recover from the shock ” -Abbie

• “You seem to be a smart person, this dumbass forgot to introduce you ” -MJ

• “I’m Abbie, this Dumbass’s sister”

• “Are you sure” -MJ

• “Unfortunately ” -Abbie

• “I’m right here” -Harley

Day 2

• “Sooo… was anyone of you planning to tell me that you all go to same school” -Harley

• “Don’t look at me, it wasn’t like we ever talked outside of when necessary ” -Flash

• “I thought you would know since you never asked how we knew each other already” -Peter

• “I thought MJ must have told you ” -Betty

• “And I thought everyone knew” -MJ

• “Why?” -Harley

• “Everyone knows, you were to busy staring Peter’s butt to notice” -MJ

• Harley and Peter turned red

• “So what do you guys do here exactly ” -Ned

• “We…. I don’t think even I know what we do exactly, most of time we do our own things and come together during Camp Activities ” -Flash

• “So, like we don’t have any schedule ” -Abbie

• “Well there are cleaning duties, the team that loses in the game are stuck with them” -Betty

• “No other duties” -Abbie

• “Nope” -Betty

• “You Greeks are so disorganized ” -Abbie

• “Of course, you would think that ” -Harley

• “You’re the one talk, Mr-I-can’t-work-without-mess” -Abbie

• “Can we please not have a sibling argument right now ” -Peter

• “I wanted to see that, what happened to you” -MJ

• “There was fight about spiderman in the morning, one his sibling said that she thought spiderman was cool and it escalated from that, Peter was right in middle of it” -Ned

• “Poor Peter” -Betty

• Ned quickly changes the subject

• “So what do you guys mean when you say you do your own things ” - Ned

• “I draw and sometimes spar” -MJ

• “I help out in infirmary and practice Archery ”-Betty

• “I work in Forges on my inventions” -Harley

• “When I came during the freshman year, I used to design the weapons so I spend most my time in Forges too” -Peter

• Flash mumbles something

• “What did he say” -Abbie

• “I do Aphrodite stuff, and spar” -Flash

• “What do you mean Aphrodite stuff” -Ned

• “He means gossiping, makeovers and meddling with others relationship ” -MJ

• “Well I’m pretty good fighter too” -Flash

• “That’s because you are on Instagram all the time and you have to defend yourself against the monster you attract” -MJ

• “Wait, you can do that” -Harley

• “He attracts atleast one monster every week” -Betty

• “It’s really hard to keep up with you guys, do even complete a discussion before jumping to another ” -Abbie

• “No” “Nay” “Nope” “Never” “Who does that” “That’s what you do” they say all at once

• “No wonder why Roman gets irritated while talking to you guys” -Abbie

• “Technically I’m a roman too” -Ned

• “Wait, I thought you were Peter’s half sibling ” -Harley

• “He’s Peter grand-nephew” -Flash

• “Flash, how many times I have to tell you not call him that ” -Peter

• “What are you going to do beat me?” -Flash

• “Maybe, I’ll do that ” -Peter

• “Than I’ll challenge you to a duel” -Flash

• “I accept ”-Peter

• “I got a idea, how about we make it in a team of two” -Flash

• “Why not?” -Peter

• “I’m a Archer, I can’t play so I’m out” -Betty

• “I don’t even have a weapon so I’m out too” -Ned

• “That leaves us with MJ and Harley, I pick MJ” -Flash

• “Sure, why not” -MJ

• “I thought you would team with me, MJ” -Peter

• “He picked me up first ” -MJ

• “But” -Peter

• “No Buts” -Flash

• “Okay we’ll meet here in an hour, if I win you’ll stop calling Ned my grand-nephew and if you win I’ll do the photo you wanted me too” -Peter

• “I agree” -Flash

• Flash and Peter took off into opposite directions and MJ following Flash while Harley follows Peter with Abbie chasing after him

• “Wait, what just happened and what is Ned’s parentage again ” -Abbie

• “Flash and Peter are having an impromptu duel while they team up with MJ and I respectively and one of Ned’s grandparents is child of Minerva, keep up ” -Harley

• “You got all that from the conversation and you still didn’t knew they all go to same school ” -Abbie

• “Yes, now I need go prepare with Peter for the fight” -Harley

• “You really are a dumbass” -Abbie

• Meanwhile

• “You knew Peter would take the bait and team with Harley didn’t you, it was your elaborate matchmaking ” -MJ

• “Maybe, plus I knew he would offer to finally take a picture in spiderman suit with me for my insta and I needed to win that bet” -Flash

• “What if I sabotaged the fight” -MJ

• “You haven’t lost a single fight except the one you and Clarisse fought each other, you don’t want to ruin your reputation ” -Flash

• “Ok, you got me there” -MJ

To be continued

( If you were wondering why I took so much time for Pt 6, I wanted to post it with this post)

Also I’ll be tagging those who want me to undercut, if you want me tag you DM me

@doodleddaisies

#parkner #peter parker #harley keener #michelle jones #betty brant #flash thompson #ned leeds #abbie keener #tony stark #pjoverse au #son of aphrodite! flash #son of athena! peter #son of hephaestus! harley #daughter of vulcan! abbie #daughter of apollo! betty #daughter of ares! michelle #legacy of minerva! ned

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abbeyfangirl · 6 years ago

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dragon age: all characters (companions)

I’ve been in this fandom for a hot minute now and I want to update my opinions on characters :)

Origins

Alistair: super sweet dude who literally is not the stereotypicalchantryguyfightme. He’s a great example of healthy masculinity and I totally wish he was bi because I have an entire essay on that— also: he’s a poc! His mum was brown. In game he’s got dark features. if you really want a blond/blue-eyes/white guy, make your warden that. or accept that brown people can be noble and moral. or just draw cailan, idk. just because BioWare whitewashes doesn’t mean you should.

Leliana: someone hug my singing girlfriend before I crush her under with my own hugs. Also: nugs. Yes! Shoes. Yes! She likes how I style my hair? YES!! I honestly think she’s super duper and it pisses me off whenever someone’s like: yeah she enjoys killing people and the Game. ok. and michel de chevin willingly participated in genocidal marches through the alienage he grew up in with his elvhen mum.

Morrigan: dirty swamp witch that i stan and also have a v big crush on. tiddies. Have a son with a GW so we can raise him with our tiddies out in the forest. she’s also white-passing, as her father was chasind and all people we’ve seen that are chasind are black. therefore, she is biracial. therefore, poc can be goths and don’t shy away from giving morrigan a darker skintone. if the devs had of been thinking, she’d have a darker skintone.

Zevran: Actually is the best romance, I think. Loves consent, therefore I will stan him so hard my skull cracks a little. Also: he is a very brown boy and if he’s white in da4 I’m seriously going to throw all canon out the fucking window. genuinely a good person who needs to be told so.

Wynne: grandma who only likes my friends who go to church. but also super sweet and I’d rest my head on her bosom (in a platonic way omg ZEVRAN)

Sten: angry quiet boi. the bestest boi. I totally would give him a kitten for a gift and bake him cookies. Thicc softie. I think if I had DA:O and i knew how to use mods i would mod the fuck outta him. sorry.

Sha(y)le: who’s gender? idk her. See also: fuck birds and authority. pound ur ass into the ground you feathery meatbag little shits. fuck songbirds.

Dog: such a good boi. thicc. thinks Alistair is a whiny fuck and is Morrigan’s only friend. love him. he’s the cutest companion. bet.

Ohgren: honestly forgot about him bcc he’s such a shitbag. also: he could’ve been a really cool addiction recovery type but NOPE. probably would have a trump shirt in a modern au and would catcall wlw and hit mlm. no thanks.

Awakening

Anders: he acts like rlly straight but he’s so gay I can smell it. also he’s rlly cute and fun and I love him so much.

Justice: MAYBE i’M selF CONSCious OF THE twitchING. is the friend that genuinely doesn’t get dick jokes but is ur 110% ride or die.

Nathaniel Howe: honestly is sort of a white knight/neck beard a little, but it’s kind of charming with his whole velanna m’lady?? grump boi. annoying soul patch that I’d mod out SO FAST—

Sigrun: would have ROMANCED the FUCK out of her. why she even entertains the idea of fucking with ohgren makes me realize most of the writers are dumbfucks.png. peppy little emo. 12/10 would die if she kissed my cheek teasingly.

Ohgren: why. why. why. I’d have brought Shayle over. Maybe Zev? Definitely Dog.

Velanna: she was written to be an annoying feminist and you can tell but I deadass am a kindred spirit with her bcc I too am deadpan annoyed with Thedas’ general population too. love her. Would’ve loved to romance her. She’d totally be one of those who’d get all tsundere and be like “n-no i hate you” *kisses the fuckin soul out of you then blushes so hard she’s now a tomato*

Dragon Age II

Anders: fuck the cops. i don’t care. fuck the cops. (vine reference). also: do i hate him for blowing up the chantry that would eventually annul a huge collection of his people? no. read dalishious’s meta on Anders. v intriguing. didn’t they retcon the fuck out of the reported deaths too? like there was like eight Templars and Elthinia in there. Templars killed more “abominations” in a day than Anders in the game canon—

Aveline: initially thought she was fine and then realized she’s shit to my lil brother and I will fucking clap her ginger ass. See also: whorephobia isn’t a joke so fuck off with treating Isabela badly, you tit.

Bethany: sunshine. Literal sunshine. I feel my freckles grow in her presence and i love it. she’s my little baby sister and I’d slam that ogre so fuckin hard before it touched either twin.

Carver: there has to be a mod where both twins survive. I love them both to bits. My babies. carver is my bitter, angry little brother and I can relate because I too am very angry and would totally clap my own ass. hes so genuine and I don’t get the competition between Beth and Carver. Like, both are fuckin stellar in different ways. In this essay I will—

Fenris: honestly, I don’t get the general hate between him and Anders. Fenris’ main arc should’ve been a recovery arc, not drunken moping and revenge. he deserves better. give him a soft sweater instead of his spikes and let him love himself as much as I love him for MAKERS SAKE. like when you really think about their relationship, it could’ve been an eye-opener for fenris and finally some legit sympathy for anders. but we all know that if they had of teamed up that Meredith would’ve been dead before the end of Act 1 so.

Isabela: whorephobia is not a joke. oversexualizing your only appearing brown woman is so poorly written. how about we appreciate her and her lovely bosoms but also let people tease her about her heart of gold? her innate understanding of freedom? instead of just a wave of dick? please?? can we give her some pants for when she fights? can we accept that i fall for rogues who hate themselves?? fuck. also whomever draws her x femHawke x Merrill literally is after my own heart.

Merrill: my fucking babygirl MARRY ME. Fenris could’ve been her older brother type, but NO. she and Isabela should’ve been canonical gfs instead of Isabela/Fenris (no shaming the pairing tho!!). I love how she’s written as neurodivergent. V nice. Sometimes I just look her up and cry because she’s fucking everything. Also: she’s in the Dalish origin and she’s far from being white. Why did they make the most innocent/naïve character really white? hmmmm.

Sebastian: whew that boy. Would totally be that annoying Mormon at your door but you still let him in bcc he’s super sweet. Also: huge ass bible thumper and should get his head slap because you said the maker loved all his children why do you defend a complicit old hag you annoying attractive fuck—

Varric: totally is a bard and the devs couldn’t handle the idea of him being one bcc it might make him look less straight. is the only grey morality person I don’t want to fucking bash in with a fry pan. he sees people and I like that, but you totally know he’s siding with mages every time bcc him and Anders are like besties. I’m sorry. I don’t make the rules. “Professional Younger Brother”.

Tallis: I know nothing about her but she seems okay. I think she was an escaped slave and honestly? Fucking props. Spy on a shitting organization, idk what you’re doing, but your VA was that cool lesbian from SPN so I think ur okay?

Inquisition

Blackwall: Redemption Arc 101. Love him to bits. Sad dad bunwall. good man. actually atoned for his sins by actively becoming a good person. his initial design is 80% hotter im so sorry but so not.

Cassandra: was way browner in the last game. would romance the fuck outta her. I love me a butch lady who melts at my dorky recitation of poetry. BioWare is a coward. also is the worst choice for divine. but not a bad person. could use some more guidance or get her ass whipped by a dalish elf about religion or a circle mage kid whos like “yeah bud i didn’t ask for the templars to whip my ass everyday for existing.”

The Iron Bull: I think the Qunari/Vashoth were a little based off black people (the whole anti blackness thing where ppl are scared of them bcc of whatever reason) and it pisses me off that he had a weird ass dubcon thing with Dorian in banter. It doesn’t make sense— he’s an A+++ dom and would not jump straight in role play without at least checking in at first like wtf BioWare.

Cole: his mother was chasind so he’s like not supposed to be that white? or like biracial? albino? idk. love him to bits tho. He’s neurodivergent and I deadass love him. romancing him? idk. I see why ppl think it’s fuckin nasty but also like as a writer I’d age him the fuck up so fast before my inquisitor even THOUGHT about that. like idk. I’m down with him being a sweet little bro character tho. he’s a babe. love him.

Sera: had the worst fucking writer I’ve ever seen and I willingly read the twilight saga twice by a shit ass racist white lady who okay’d pedophilia. like. Fuck you Kristjanson suck your own dick you fuck. had the worst options in regards to speak to her. has a thicc case of internalized racism that literally most of the fandom just loves to use against her. my lesbian neurodivergent queen. Would write a thousand fix it fics for her. Love her to bits. im gay.

Varric: I haven’t played DA2 so i don’t get why everyone wants to romance him but like. a dwarf romance? yes please. Idk he reminds me of my uncle so I only see him as fun uncle material. Deadass should adopt Cole and Merrill and co parent with Blackwall for Sera. dads? fuck yeah. love me some wholesome, present fathers.

Dorian: is a gay stereotype that I love/hate so much. and he’s also just as bad about being a creep bcc he sexualizes qunari men (in banter). I attribute that to shit writing tho. I want to protect him from all the “omg gay best friend!” people. he’d clearly be that tired gay that wouldn’t give a diddly damn about ur het romance. wanna talk about politics? he’s ur guy/gay.

Solas: “me, an intellectual:”. I don’t hate him, but I’m not about him. He comes off as mysterious and suave (which he totally is) but I deadass would not save him from himself because he’s a racist, exclusionist eggshell. idk. not my cup of tea, but I can totally see the appeal. And he’s interesting, I’ll totally say that. “I think the Dalish are garbage but they made you” is not a compliment. it’s so offensive. and such bait for “quirky girls” which I’m no fan of. Would be Achilles and let Patroclus (Lavellan in his case) die before he realized how his pride is literally a waste of time. If he gets a redemption arc I hope Lavellan gets to slap him before getting him to teach all about ancient Arlathan and show that the Evanuris weren’t all total dicknozzles. (Aka I really have a hard time believing that they’d be slavery cult things. especially since they’ve compared elves to indigenous ppl, Jews and the Romani.)

Vivienne: it’s so racist that they’d make a black woman be pro-slavery. That’s such internalized racism. She could’ve been the cool ass “educate yourself first before you speak, fool” ice lady, but NO. the devs could’ve kept the “Templars are a tool that I proudly can mandate” and the “circles are very good education” and we. Could. Have. Romanced. Her. Like. Fuck. Sake. I just wanna give her a hug and say “love yourself omg!!” and not even in a romantic way. Also: she and morrigan should not have been so antagonistic towards each other. I’d expect them to have great respect for each other, as they both moved up in the world through hardwork and very little help. They could learn different magic from each other too and still maintain that rival respect “oh you” mood. Sidenote: probably the cooler option for Divine. if her approval is high enough she’ll love and be loyal to you forever and i can’t see her agenda being bad. she improves the circles exponentially and tells all the antis to suck her pretty painted toes.

Josephine: an actual disney princess. romanced her my first playthrough. I love her so much. she just makes me so happy. And she’s like: “Integrity, Loyalty, peace. That is what it means to be a GREY WARDEN good fucking person.” she’s the person who would let you hold her hand if you got anxious and she’d be that person who shouldered the whole group project with finesse and poise and would probably lie for everyone as to not be mean. i love josie. her and leliana’s relationship is so cute, too. whether it’s romantic or not: women supporting women.

Leliana: if you leave her hardened you must hate her. why. she becomes so against herself. i like how shes feminine and lighthearted because that’s so powerful-- to remain hopeful when the world is hopeless. (its hard to know when to soften her/harden her so i get it but. google it. she deserves to be happy and sweet again.)

Cullen: uwu war criminal with shit ass “redemption arc” that was actually a half-assed (at BEST) recovery arc. Recovery isn’t linear, it isn’t pretty, and even the broken need to be told they are wrong in order to heal right. Like I’m offended by that bullshit. I’ve had to do some mental health recovery in the past and unlearning lots of toxic ideologies— which I’m still unlearning— and it bothers me that he gets an easy pass because he’s hot. It’s one thing if you like Cullen, it’s another thing if you hold him accountable.

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hoodie-bboi · 6 years ago

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in honor of school starting, here are some things i either heard or said last year as a high school freshman. enjoy.

(List compiled by @teawarlord and i)

Freshman Year (2018-2019)

I’m just gonna stick my hands down my shirt.

Kai you’ve got a big dick. (Kai does not have a dick.)

I’m crying from the dick.

Stop fingering everything

Don’t judge the lizard man!

YOURE A PEEN BOY!

Can I borrow your uterus?

Don’t fist the applesauce

No I’m not gonna fist it I’m just gonna punch it

I didn’t choose the gay life the gay life chose me

Is your crotch ok?

My brain is soup

If they have a c*ck like a toddlers forearm…

I’m pregnant with water

I’m not having kids and you can’t make me!

There’s cum on my apple

i’m tearing off the cum

Oh shit the apple cummed on me

Who wants to talk about animal sex?

Daddyyyyy UWU

*to the tune of duck tails* TOE HANDS UWU

eggs. eggs everywhere.

If I see her walk through the door I’m jumping down. (30 ft drop)

When I see (my gf) I’m slapping her ass because I’m mad at her.

Fuck you time, you’re just a concept.

I love communism~

Panda bears are resoundingly NOT in to sex! -Science teacher

If they were any more inbred, they’d be a sandwich.

I don’t want to be shanked by your pop tart!

What if everyone had dicks for fingers?

*walking in to a room* I’m not gay, but 20 bucks is 20 bucks.

Don’t ask questions you don’t know the answer to.

Do we do it in Español or Spanish?

“I wanna go to Maryland” “Why?” “Because fuck Maryland” “But why?” “It’s the land of merry” (or Mary, jesus’ mom, idk)

I don’t wanna eat my limp dick pop-tart :(

Don’t screw ghosts, that’s a sin ;)

Our phrase of the day is Multigenerational Butt Licking

“I didn’t eat today” “That’s bad…” “I know-“ “C O N S U M E”

“I don’t worship Satan because I am Satan” *whips poorly*

I finally found out what my cat has been staring at all these years…

No matter how sexy your music is, you can never lick it.

And not the egg??

You don’t stand when you suck dick, dumbass

I love squating when sucking dick. Just *squats* euaaah

Why are you fucking the sherbet with your spoon?

i stuck my finger in there and he starts doing that

I’d rather you stick your human-sized foot up my veen than my ass.

Soft vore your sandwich.

Can forks… mate?

*bursts into room* WHERES THE MEATLOAF??? *takes two pieces of wooden pretend-meatloaf and runs out*

Grunhilda’s in my pants :(

Where is my penis!?

*into headset* I’m gonna kill Gerald. He’s eating our beans. *Gerald runs out laughing like a little girl*

First he eats my beans, then he throws my table.

Oof. I got a big whiff of beans.

Take off those clout goggle bro, you got no clout.

Bruh :(

What do we call an animal that is active mostly act night?

Insecure (the correct answer is nocturnal)

A ball of fire flew out of her vagina

I got the beats, ya bitch

That damn bastard, peein on my carpet

Do you ever forget to breathe because you’re so tired? (Immediately) Yes.

(About Burt’s Bees) Who the fuck is Burt?

“12-8 is 4” (In a condescending tone) “12-8 is 5.”

Some people think ivory powder is viagra

Do you have any on you? I’m asking for a friend…

What’s a hussy?

Teacher: It’s a… very flirtatious female.

oH, so a hoe!

Teacher: I MEAN YOU’RE NOT WRONG

i don’t dislike students. but i dislike this student very much.…

“Are you depressed?” “Hella”

*carrying a shovel* Do you know of any graveyards nearby?

Bro what’s wrong with AIDS?

What if I slap my vagina?

I’m not gonna slap your vagina.

I am so close to becoming bisexual right now

I GOT CHEESE JUICE ON MY FINGERS

“I DONT LIKE THAT SOUND” “Let me suck the cheese juice off of it”

Did you steal my eyes?

PLEASE DONT STEAL MY KNEECAPS

Do humans eat sharks?

caMELS? Do camels eat sharks?

I’M GONNA DEEPTHROAT THIS KNIFE

Have you guys ever felt how soft Kaia is?!

Bro I gotta find out if he’s gay or bi, because if he’s bi then I have a chance.

(from above the stairs) aw man don’t be slappin me like that

(from below the stairs) I’LL SLAP WHATEVER I WANT TO

(above) yo who the fuck said that

I don’t like turkey

i’ll eat it

It’s not turkey, it’s salami

!!???

you schlorped my cheese

twincest is NOT wincest apparently

STOP DRINKING YOUR RANCH WHAT THE FUCK

JACK FROST NIPPING AT YOUR NOSE? MORE LIKE HE’S SLITTING MY THROAT IN THIS COLD

(about kidney stones) Are those generic by the way? (instead of genetic)

Why are you eating your book?

LEAVE ME ALONE

So not to get political or anything but what the hell is oatmeal?

I love when I call daddy!

“I don’t want glass up my cooter!” “No, coffee.” “THATS EVEN WORSE”

I want to slap someone with my ovaries

Did you eat your last brain cell?

Don’t hurt my neck hole

I don’t care about your egg

Peanut fucker

The Ugly Fuckling

While you’re in this group, don’t get on the roof.

There’s a roof?

During this time, we stay under the building (referring to under the roof).

I will throw my skull at you

Don’t put your eggs in my stomach

the egg juiced

I don’t care what you do, just be quiet… don’t raise hell…

Don’t put your egg in my stomach

IT JUICED (about the egg)

YOU ATE YOUR APPLE SO PRETTY

I’m ten? (through laughter) I’m not legally allowed in my house

We are Dong

All is Dong, Dong is all

dong with a capital D

This monster Dong is a Dong and a half

They’re an abomination of the foot, Debra

I’ve fallen and I can’t giddy up

Why are you eating in the dark on my bed?

I’m sure anyone can fuck a belly button if they have a fetish and a small enough dick

stop molesting her ear

so her tummy was open?

yeah, it was

so now she doesn’t have any bones?

w h a t ?

you need to learn to keep your blood

blood is for drinking, not living

i am bsexudkal

i have no king, im an anarchist

The Council Knows, Kaia. You Will Be Tried For Your Sins.

wake up

I made someone scream with my stick

HOLA I JUST CAME BACK FROM HAWAII

We’re gonna be talking about diseases

Fantastic! i LOVE talking about myself!

i thought i could turn the tables…. but the tables turned me!

on?

i’m turned on by tables

bullets are just gun jizz

GUINNEA BUISSEAU IS JUST GUN JIZZ

i have the bladder of a god

i’m sick, as compensation buy me new shoelaces

if you have a canker sore does that mean you have herpes?

duncan blew a thing

can you get better tea?

(offended) better tEETH?

i get my gender validation from a pokemon game

i bet you my room smells like egg… ass

finals week (and the week before)

please don’t talk about furries -my science teacher

the smiley face is frowning upon us

if you want to tp a tree, you tp it so well the best way to clean it up is to cut it down -also my science teacher

i think i have kidney stones up my nose

when someone tells you to hold your horses they’re telling you to be stable (in the middle of the final)

airport quotes (2018)

it’s like a velociraptor with a gun that shoots… sadness

my vibrator fell out of my bag

here's to a new year of learning and/or doing jack shit. sophomore edition coming next year. :)

#high school #school #gen z #gen z culture #long post

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incorrectchoniberonicaswangs · 7 years ago

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hey baby won't you look my way (i can be your new addiction)

Chapter 3: ...no these are fuCKING SEXTS

ao3

Chapter Summary: There's a substitute teacher, Cheryl and Toni have a plan, and Betty is a "good fucking person."

Monday, 7:17 AM

gays united

hbicheryl: good morning gays

wannabett: CHERYL

hbicheryl: good morning gays, cousin betty

hbicheryl: happy?

wannabett: yes

hisshissmotherfucker: why the fuck are you texting us at this ungodly hour

hisshissmotherfucker: go back to sleep

nopeaz: school starts in less than an hour dipshit

hisshissmotherfucker: whatever

veroffica: cheryl, you're in a way better mood than normal. what happened?

hbicheryl: im offended! cant i just be in a good mood because i feel like it?

wannabett: no

hbicheryl: fine

hbicheryl: the history teacher is sick so we have a substitute

hisshissmotherfucker: FUCK YES

wannabett: im confused why is this a good thing??

spillthefogarTEA: oh betty

spillthefogarTEA: poor, sweet betty

nopeaz: substitutes are naive and cant control the class

nopeaz: so we can do whatever we want

wannabett: im not sure thats the best idea

spillthefogarTEA: choni and i have history first period with you, cooper

spillthefogarTEA: we'll show you what we mean

8:16 AM

hbicheryl + nopeaz

hbicheryl: this is even better than i thought

nopeaz: he looks so timid

hbicheryl: this is going to be so much fun

hbicheryl: lets begin phase one

8:19 AM

gays united

wannabett: is this cheryl and tonis master plan? to text out in the open?

jugheadalones: theyre cheryl and toni

wannabett: meaning??

jugheadalones: im sure theres more to it than that

goingtoheller: ^^tru

wannabett: i guess ill just have to wait and see

8:23 AM

gays united

wannabett: okay the sub is asking cheryl and toni to get off their phones

wannabett: theyre ignoring him ofc

wannabett: asdJFDJJSSSKKDXM

hisshissmotherfucker: WHAT HAPPENED

spillthefogarTEA: HE GRABBED TONIS PHONE RIGHT OUT OF HER HANDS SHE LOOKS SO FUCKING STARTLED

goingtoheller: LMAO

spillthefogarTEA: OH SHIT NOW HES READING CHONIS TEXTS FROM TONIS PHONE

wannabett: ...no these are fuCKING SEXTS

veroffica: I'M WHEEZING

hisshissmotherfucker: WHAT DO THE TEXTS SAY

spillthefogarTEA: "maybe after this we can sneak in a quickie between classes"

spillthefogarTEA: "i could finger you up against the bathroom wall"

spillthefogarTEA: "or i could eat you out in the storage closet"

spillthefogarTEA: "of course... youd have to be quiet"

spillthefogarTEA: "do you think you can do that? can you be a good girl for me?"

wannabett: cheryl is as red as her hair

wannabett: toni looks like she wishes the earth would swallow her whole

goingtoheller: I'M DEAD.

veroffica: THIS IS THE BEST THING I'VE EVER HEARD

hbicheryl: GUYS STOP LAUGHING THIS ISNT FUNNY

goingtoheller: no, this is definitely funny.

hisshissmotherfucker: wait were the texts from toni or cheryl??

wannabett: he didnt say

goingtoheller: ooh, any theories? i'm still on team vers. cheryl, can you confirm anything?

hbicheryl: SHUT THE FUCK UP THIS IS SO EMBARRASSING

veroffica: i should hope so!

jugheadalones: ...i did NOT need to know this much about chonis sex life

wannabett: i guess the sub isnt as incompetent as you thought

spillthefogarTEA: lmao sucks to be you guys

spillthefogarTEA: oh shit i think hes looking at the notifications

spillthefogarTEA: "spill the... fogarty!" yep im done for youre all invited to my funeral except for choni bc they got us into this mess

wannabett: fangs' phones has been confiscated as well as cheryls in case you were wondering

wannabett: haha thats karma i guess

wannabett: fuck now he wants mine too why me??

veroffica: ...guys?

goingtoheller: that was the most exciting thing that i've witnessed secondhand in a WHILE.

hisshissmotherfucker: i hope nothing bad happened to fangs

hisshissmotherfucker: or toni or cheryl or betty

jugheadalones: i wonder whats going on there right now

veroffica: well, i don't have any classes with any of them for a while, so i won't be able to know what happened until they get their phones back.

hisshissmotherfucker: ^^

jugheadalones: ^^

goingtoheller: ^^

12:03 PM

gays united

hbicheryl: WE FINALLY GOT OUR PHONES BACK

hbicheryl: I CAN PRACTICALLY TASTE THE FREEDOM

nopeaz: now i just have to go live in a cave for a few years until everyone forgets about that debacle

spillthefogarTEA: thats not going to happen any time soon

goingtoheller: fangs is right, that was iconic.

veroffica: you two will never live that down.

jugheadalones: half of riverdale high is already speculating as to which one of you two sent the texts and which one of you received the texts

hisshissmotherfucker: cheryl, toni, care to make a statement?

hbicheryl: no

nopeaz: fuck off

goingtoheller: well, at least they seem to be on the same page.

wannabett: can we talk about whats REALLY important now??

jugheadalones: and what would that be?

wannabett: ALL FOUR OF US GOT DETENTION!!

veroffica: can the substitute even do that?

spillthefogarTEA: yeah, he wrote us all up for "repeatedly disobeying a clear set of instructions"

nopeaz: at least its only for today

wannabett: ive never gotten detention before! how the hell am i going to explain this to my mom??

hbicheryl: lmao cant relate

wannabett: im a good fucking person i dont deserve this

12:39 PM

gays united

hisshissmotherfucker: wait cheryl and toni what was your master plan?

hbicheryl: oh we were just going to sext for a while and then make out in the back of the classroom

veroffica: ...that was a letdown.

goingtoheller: yeah, i expected better.

nopeaz: we were horny when we came up with that plan okay

jugheadalones: now THAT makes more sense

spillthefogarTEA: tbh im still kinda disappointed tho

1:22 PM

gays united

wannabett: SHIT

veroffica: what's wrong, betts?

wannabett: i think the school told my mom about the detention :(

goingtoheller: what makes you think that?

wannabett: shes called me four times today already

wannabett: ive been ignoring her but knowing my mom she'll probably just show up here to talk to me

jugheadalones: she wouldnt do that

wannabett: you underestimate her

veroffica: b is right. her mom is just crazy enough to do that.

1:40 PM

gays united

wannabett: huh i wonder why the secretary is calling me to the office

wannabett: it couldnt be my mom, could it??

wannabett: who wants to bet against me?

goingtoheller: a, congrats on finally living up to your screen name!

goingtoheller: b, there is no way that i'm going to be stupid enough to take you up on that.

jugheadalones: i'll bite.

jugheadalones: 20 bucks it isnt her

wannabett: youre on jug

wannabett: be prepared to lose $20

1:55 PM

gays united

wannabett: angry-mama-cooper.jpeg

wannabett: fork over the money jones

jugheadalones: ...fuck

jugheadalones: this is what i get for believing that alice cooper wouldnt be that petty??

hbicheryl: no this is what you get for being a fool

wannabett: same thing

spillthefogarTEA: okay im sure that im going to regret asking this, but what did mrs cooper want that took fifteen minutes to talk about?

wannabett: the usual

wannabett: "youre disappointing your family, you need to do better, you dont want to end up like polly," etc.

veroffica: i'm sorry, b. :(

wannabett: it isnt your fault v

veroffica: i know, but your mom clearly isn't sorry for the crazy expectations she puts on you because polly didn’t turn out the way she wanted, so somebody has to be. and i want that somebody to be me.

wannabett: you really think so?

veroffica: i know so.

spillthefogarTEA: thats so sweet

hbicheryl: and REALLY gay

spillthefogarTEA: ofc

veroffica: *bi, and betty and i are just best friends.

wannabett: ^^^

spillthefogarTEA: sweets and i are best friends and if i had said something like that to him yall wouldnt think that we were just being friends

wannabett: thats bc you and sweet pea are super gay for each other

hisshissmotherfucker: false

spillthefogarTEA: ...you dont think that im hot? :(

hisshissmotherfucker: no i think that youre the hottest person in the whole damn universe

hisshissmotherfucker: but that doesnt mean that im in love with you

hbicheryl: babe do you see this shit??

nopeaz: i see it all right

hbicheryl: im so glad that we arent like that

nopeaz: me too :)

hbicheryl: i love you toni

nopeaz: i love you too cher

veroffica: awww, that was adorable.

veroffica: but also: what will it take to convince all of you that betty and i are telling the truth??

goingtoheller: nothing, ever. you are both so clearly whipped it isn't even funny.

jugheadalones: like cheryl and toni levels of whipped

hbicheryl: except you two arent even dating!!

nopeaz: the same goes for sweets and fangs too

hisshissmotherfucker: whatever

spillthefogarTEA: ^^^

wannabett: ^^^

veroffica: ^^^

jugheadalones: why do i even try anymore

2:29 PM

gays united

hbicheryl: well its time to go into the hellish pit the school calls detention

wannabett: i wonder if theyll make us do manual labor

spillthefogarTEA: sweet pea practically lived in detention at southside high, ask him

hisshissmotherfucker: thats true

hisshissmotherfucker: and yes sometimes they do make you do some janitorial work around the school

hbicheryl: oh my fucking god im going to die

jugheadalones: stop being so extra cheryl

goingtoheller: no never stop being extra cheryl it is the best part of this chat

hbicheryl: for your information hobo i will never ever stop being dramatic and if you say that again i will fight you

hbicheryl: and dont worry keller i wont change

nopeaz: thats my girl!!

hisshissmotherfucker: as i was saying

hisshissmotherfucker: youll probably just sit in a room and do your homework

hbicheryl: thats even worse

2:34 PM

gays united

hbicheryl: THEY WANT TO TAKE OUR PHONES

hbicheryl: WHY DIDNT YOU TELL US ABOUT THIS SWEET PEA

hisshissmotherfucker: i thought it would be a nice surprise

nopeaz: screw you

hbicheryl: IF I NEVER GET OUT OF HERE TELL MY MOTHER THAT SHES AN AWFUL BITCH AND THAT I HATE HER

veroffica: sure thing, blossom.

3:00 PM

gays united

hbicheryl: MY PHONE IS BACK I LOVE IT SO MUCH THIS SCHOOL IS SHIT AND DETENTION FUCKING SUCKS

goingtoheller: that's a lot of moods.

jugheadalones: ^^

veroffica: "that's a lot of moods" is just cheryl's personality in a nutshell.

wannabett: tru

hisshissmotherfucker: tru

nopeaz: tru

hbicheryl: tru

Notes: Writing choni's sexts was the best part of this chapter, honestly. Also, I noticed that I refer to Cheryl and Toni as 'choni' an awful lot, which probably has direct correlation to my laziness. I know that this chapter has a lot less to do with the overlying plot, and that's because I'm trying something different. Tell me if you like it this way or if you want me to go back to more plot-heavy chapters.

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redrosydiaz · 6 years ago

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for yo character headcanons: our bois sam, steve and bucky ILY <33

thank youuuuu for the ask my dear! this is gonna be a fun one haha. ily tooo <33

character headcanons

Sam:

1. sexuality headcanon

i feel like sam could probably fall under the pansexual label; most of my ships for him are with females so it wasn’t until i got into the sam/riley ship that i really gave his sexuality a lot of thought. but yeah i adore sam being with riley and honestly the idea of him being with like steve or bucky too is good too, i could defs see him getting his flirt on with those two dorks.

2. otp

this is. so hard. bc like. i can see sam with literally so many different people. like i love sam/riley, but i also really love sam/maria, and then sam/natasha is nice too, and really really oddly i thought of sam/becca today and like. at least in the fic i’m considering writing atm, it works really well so yeah. idk if i have a solid otp for sam. i guess i usually stick with either riley or maria though depending on the situation.

3. brotp

oh man. literally the steve/sam brotp and the sam/bucky brotp and the sam/steve/bucky brotps give me so much life. all three of these losers are so good together they play off of each other so well theyre really the Dream Team.

i also really like sam and natasha’s friendship too, i’ve seen some fics get it really good.

4. notp

uhhh, there aren’t really any sam ships that just out to me as a Major No. i guess i’m not super into the idea of sam and clint being a thing? but like it doesn’t really bother me as a ship in general or anything.

5. first headcanon that pops into my head

okay in any fic i write in which it’s a no powers au (so like most of what i write lmao) i have this hc that sam is dubbed the bird whisperer in anyone’s phone. so he was at the park with steve or bucky or whoever he’s mainly friends with in the fic and while he was there he ended up doing something (not quite sure what, maybe i’ll figure that out and write about it one day who knows) and whatever he did brought all the birds to his yard and they l o v e d him, and some even followed him around a little, thus he was dubbed the bird whisperer.

6. one way in which i relate to this character

i too would do anything for steve rogers. lmao no for real though, sam has a really good loyalty about him and he’s willing to do anything for his friends (i.e. take them in, fight with/for them, etc. etc.) and i like to think that those are qualities i have as well.

7. things that give me second hand embarrassment about this character

i honestly can’t think of anything rn?? like sam’s a p cool, suave dude, he hasn’t really done anything, at least in canon, that makes me super cringe in embarrassment.

8. cinnamon roll or problematic fave?

cinnamon roll for sure!

Steve:

1. sexuality headcanon

BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISEXUAL MY DUDE. listen there is no way n o w a y steve rogers is not a bisexual man. i mean, come on. have yall seen the movies? steve rogers is in love with bucky barnes, peggy carter, sam wilson, natasha romanoff, and the list probably goes on. no but for real, bucky is literally his life partner, the love of his entire fucking life. tws?? a romcom for fuckin sure. but he also really was in love with peggy carter in tfa, i mean who wouldn’t be she’s fuckin badass and hot af and just a kickass woman. i’m in love with her too steve. and then you cannot tell me he isn’t flirting with sam at the beginning of tws because he so is. and i bet while bucky was Gone he probably somehow got his hands on some of thor’s asguardian mead or whatever at some avengers party and he and nat drunkenly kissed a little just to see what it was like (yknow before she got with clint ofc). but seriously this boy is a Bisexual Disaster and we all know it.

2. otp

is this even a question? obviously its stucky. they’re my reason for breathing tbh. no jk but i love them to death and listen you cannot tell me that they are not fucking soulmates okay? bc they are. they ARE. there is literally not a single heterosexual explanation for a n y t h i n g they do. the “keeping the uniform” bit in tfa? gay! the “shared experience” line? gay! breaking through 70+ years of brainwashing by reciting your wedding vows? gay! they are so in love it hurts!!

3. brotp

i have a lot of steve brotps tbh. i love the steve/natasha friendship so so sooo much. i really love how they did it in tws and i really just love the idea of them being close with each other like that. i also really love the steve/sam friendship ofc too. they play off of each other so well, and their flirty banter gives me lifeeee. i do like a good steve/tony friendship as well, and i like steve/wanda friendship too, i feel like they have a good relationship.

4. notp

steve/sharon lmao. okay so like. i don’t exactly hate it, as in i don’t have a problem with the ship if it were done right. but bc it was so poorly done in the mcu i Do Not like it and i Do Not support. like the timing was horrible, it was all very no homo, the fact that she’s peggy’s niece and they flirt literally right after her funeral was in such poor taste and it makes me seriously uncomfortable, and also the way the mcu totally made sharon’s character nothing more than a love interest, and a really poorly done one too, just pisses me off bc she couldve been a really badass character if they wanted to make her one. so yeah. there’s just a lot of reasons why i Do Not like this ship. but it doesn’t like squick me or anything and i can tolerate it as like an old ship in fics, like she was steve’s ex before he met bucky or smth like that.

5. first headcanon that pops into my head

6. one way in which i relate to this character

i too would wbecome a wanted government fugitive and fight anyone who got in the way for bucky barnes

7. things that give me second hand embarrassment about this character

again, i can’t really think of anything that gives me too much second hand embarrassment about steve… i guess maybe just the fact that he’s a disaster when it comes to his feelings for people can make me have to look away and shake my head at his dumbass antics lmao.

8. cinnamon roll or problematic fave?

cinnamon role fo sho

Bucky:

1. sexuality headcanon

BIIIIIIIIIISEXUAL AS WELL MY DUDEEE. i could see bucky as straight up gay as well, but i like to stick with the bisexual label bc 1. im bisexual and i like to see my faves as bi too lmao and 2. i do think that he genuinely did like going out with girls back in the 40s and taking them dancing and shit. like he was definitely flirty and suave and good with the ladies but i dont think it was all for show. like i think he really did like those girls. ofc he loves steve though, like i said, soulmates! but yeah, my boy is defs bisexual too!

2. otp

again, obviously stucky, see above for my rantings and ramblings about why lmao.

3. brotp

i have a lot of brotps for bucky too lol. i fuckin love the banter between bucky/sam, like the mcu did that right! and i hope that their show can deliver more of this Good Content. they work so well, it’s that love/hate realtionship and i am Here For It. they secretly love each other as best friends despite what it may seem. i also really really really love the bucky/natasha friendship, like sign me the fuck up!! they would be the best of friends and i just. love this friendship so much. i also like the bucky/clint friendship too, i feel like these two dumbasses would get up to some good shit together lol.

4. notp

hmmm, i guess i could say bucky/tony for this. like. i don’t know much about this ship and i dont read for it or anything so i really just dont like it bc i cant see them together romantically or anything. so like idk if i can call that a notp bc i dont hate it or anything, it’s just not my cup of tea.

5. first headcanon that pops into my head

this one is tried and true but it’s always the first bucky hc that pops into mind. bucky was drafted, he didn’t enlist on his own. he refuses to tell steve that though bc of how fucking scared he is about it and bc he knows how much steve wants it, he doesnt want steve to think hes ungrateful or doesnt care about his country or anything like that. so he hides his letter away somewhere he knows steve will never find it.

steve only finds out when he finds bucky on the table in azzano reciting his number which evidently, gives up the fact that he was drafted.

6. one way in which i relate to this character

i too would follow that little guy from brooklyn that was too dumb not to run away from a fight to the jaws of death klgsj. no but really, bucky doesnt like to fight, he doesnt. he never wanted to go to war in the first place, he’s not the one that starts the fights, only finishes steve’s when he can’t, and he’s tired of war and fighting and all that. and i think that that’s something i have in common with bucky, that i dont want to fight unless it’s the last resort. like i’d rather try to civally solve a problem than jump straight to the arguing and fighting bits yknow?

7. things that give me second hand embarrassment about this character

again, i can’t think of much that embarrasses me about bucky. he’s a p chill dude.

8. cinnamon roll or problematic fave?

cinnamon roll and you can’t tell me otherwise.

#asks #character tag #character ask #steve rogers #bucky barnes #sam wilson #stucky #marvel #forevermarvelsbitch

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80srichie · 8 years ago

Text

just a bet

HEY HI WADDUP

so this is based LOOSELY on will and emma from the scream tv series. if you havent seen it, that doesnt matter bc like.... its not important

ANYWAY

THEY ARE SENIORS IN THIS

THAT MEANS THEY ARE 18!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PLEASE DONT ATTACK ME FOR THIS BC THE ACTORS HAVE NO RELATION TO THE CHARACTER IM WRITING K THX

there won’t be nsfw but there are MENTIONS of it sooooo

YEAH

anyway enjoy ily all

summary: beverly bets richie he can’t get with the new kid, eddie, in under three months. richie disagrees

pairing: richie and eddie

words: 1870

part two, three, four, five, six

Everyone at Derry High School knew of the senior Richie Tozier. No matter who they were, what social group they were apart of, they all knew of the trashmouth. Every girl swooned over him and every gay (and possibly ‘not’ gay) guy would beg for his number. He was the ‘It’ guy in his high school and even the other high schools in the Derry school district. It was common knowledge that Richie was bi. Some people said it was fake and that he said it for more attention, but his real friends knew it wasn’t bullshit at all.

Richie strode into the school building that Monday morning, casually sliding off his sunglasses and hooking them in his shirt. People in the hallways snuck glances at him, some even saying hello to him politely as he passed. He nodded in response, flashing them a smile. Richie approached his locker and opened it with ease, getting his few textbooks out. Despite being a ‘jock’, he still cared about his grades.

“Hey, Rich, did you hear about the new kid?” Beverly asked casually, making her presence known. She leaned against the navy blue lockers, a small smile playing on her lips.

“I have not, what’s so important about the new kid?” Richie asked, closing his locker. Beverly pushed herself up and started to walk down the hallway with him. “Well, I have to give him the tour today. I saw him in the office. He’s cute and gay.” She chuckled, hooking her thumbs in the belt loops of her overalls.

“Now, now, Bev. How do you know this poor guy is gay?” Richie asked, shoving his hands in his jean pockets.

“He’s wearing the shortest pair of shorts I’ve ever seen, Richie. I’m serious they’re shorter than some of the ones the girls here wear.”

Richie scoffed. “Don’t make assumptions, Marsh. Do I look gay to you?”

Beverly stopped him from walking and narrowed her eyes at him, pretending to study him. “Yes.”

Richie rolled his eyes, shoving her off of him playfully. “Fuck off.” His tone sounded mad, but the smile on his face said otherwise.

The two arrived into their first period of the day, English. Beverly sat in the seat across from Richie, Stan and Bill joining them mere moments later. Beverly was mentioning to the other two guys about the new kid when she gasped quietly. “Richie, I have a bet for you.”

“Oh, do you?” Richie asked, glancing up at her through his glasses.

“I bet you can’t get with the new kid and sleep with him in under three months.”

She said, leaning back in her chair and crossing her arms. She had a smug smile plastered on her face.

Richie narrowed his eyes at her. “And what do I get if I do?”

“The satisfaction of completing a bet and keeping your ‘never says no to a bet’ reputation.” She responded, smirking.

Richie huffed, leaning back in his chair. “Fine. If I do, however, you have to make out with Bill.”

“Hey, I didn’t agree to th-that.” Bill frowned.

“Who said you had a choice, Big Bill?” Richie grinned.

Eddie Kaspbrak didn’t want to move to Derry. He really didn’t. After his parents got divorced, his mother decided the best way of dealing with her problem was to move back to her hometown. Eddie had to leave his friends back in Michigan but his mom never gave him a choice. He never had a say in which parent he lived with when he got to see his dad, but he dealt with it. Every time he brought up the subject, his mother shut him down and insisted she was the ‘better parent’ for him. Eddie despised the thought of starting over in a new school nearly halfway through his senior year.

Eddie sat in the main office, glancing around at the various colorful posters strewn about the room’s walls. “Eddie Kaspbrak.”

His head snapped up at the sound of his name, making eye contact with a girl. She had short, fiery red hair and bright blue eyes. “Hi. I’m Beverly.” The girl- Beverly- held out her hand. Eddie stood and shook it, proceeding to grab his backpack and throw it over his shoulder.

“I’m assuming you’re giving my tour?” Eddie asked.

Beverly made a noise of agreement, tilting her head towards the main office exit door. “C’mon shortstack. Time’s a-wastin'.”

Eddie listened as Beverly explained where all his classes were, what staircases to use, and even where to sit at lunch. She finally stopped in front of a classroom, looking to Eddie. “You should be in 2nd period, Chemistry. Good luck.” Beverly walked off and down a staircase, giving him a wave as she disappeared around the corner.

Eddie let out a breath, slowly turning the handle and pushing open the classroom door. Every head in the room turned to look at him as he walked in and he instantly felt nervous.

“Ah, you must be the new student. Eddie, is it?” The professor asked. Eddie nodded. The teacher pointed to a table in the back corner of the room. “You’re in luck. We assigned new project partners today so you haven’t missed anything. You’ll be partnered with Mr. Tozier.”

Eddie glanced over to find a (cute) boy sitting alone at a table. He smiled at Eddie, waving him over. Eddie walked over, sitting down on the empty stool next to the boy.

He grinned. “Hey, I’m Richie.” The boy- Richie- said, using his pointer finger to push up the glasses on his nose. “And you’re Eddie.” Eddie nodded. “That’s me.”

“So, Eds, why’d you move to Derry?” Richie asked, leaning dangerously far back on the stool.

“My parents got divorced and my mom grew up here. If I had a choice, I would’ve stayed in Michigan. And don’t call me that. My name is Eddie.”

“Whatever ya say, Eds.” He said, winking before sitting on the stool properly. Eddie felt himself blush.

Richie sat in the plastic lunch table chair, arms crossed over his chest as he watched Beverly attempt to braid Stan’s curly hair. Bill glanced over at the entrance to the cafeteria and nudged Richie.

“Hey, it’s the new kid.”

Richie glanced over and smiled, watching as Eddie found an empty table and sat down. “Should I ask him to my game?”

Beverly chuckled. “Of course. Three months starting now, Tozier!”

Eddie held a plastic tray in his hands, trying to figure out what lunch table to sit at. He looked around the room before spotting an empty table. He walked over and sat down, starting to pick at the ‘food’ he was given.

“Hey, Eds!”

Eddie nearly jumped out of his seat. “Jesus, Richie.” He mumbled, looking over at him.

Richie had a smirk on his face. “I scare ya?”

Eddie rolled his eyes, stabbing his plastic fork into the disgusting excuse for green beans. People had warned him about Richie all day, more or less saying ‘do not fall for him.’

“So, Eds… You are gonna come to my soccer game after school.” Richie said, leaning back in the chair and smiling.

Eddie raised his eyebrow. “I am?”

Richie nodded, reaching over and eating a fry from his lunch. “You are!”

Eddie frowned smacked his hand away from his food. “Is this your way of trying to help me fit in? Because I’ve heard about you and I’m not interested.”

“Heard about me how?”

“The fact that you lead everyone around you on.”

Richie fake gasped, placing a hand over his heart. “I am offended, Eds! You think I’m a slut?” Well, I was with your mom last night-”

Eddie rolled his eyes once more. “If I go to your game, will you shut up?”

Richie grinned. “Only for now. See you then, cutie.” He got up, shooting Eddie a wink before walking back over to his friends.

Eddie was blushing like mad and silently cursed at himself. He didn’t like Richie, he couldn’t. He wouldn’t.

Eddie sat uncomfortably in the stands, annoyed at how loud and obnoxious the students around him were being. He tried to watch the game, but to be completely honest, he didn’t know what was going on. All he knew was Derry High was winning.

Richie was sitting on the sidelines beside Stan. “Did he really show?” Stan asked doubtfully. “I don’t think he would.”

“Oh, yeah?” Richie retorted. “Top right corner of the far right stand. Blue hoodie.”

Stan’s eyes gazed across the crowd before spotting Eddie sitting amongst the rambunctious teenagers. He chuckled, using his mouth to pop open the mouthpiece of his water bottle. “Nice job, Tozier. Think you can do it?”

“Of course I can, Stanley. Do you know how easy it is? He blushed because I winked. I’ve got this in the bag.” Richie responded, standing and walking closer to the substitute flag so he could go in for Bill.

Eddie watched the game the best he could, trying to keep his eyes on Richie. That’s why he was even here, after all. The large clock said there were 2 minutes remaining in the game. Someone on the team had gotten the ball to Richie, but someone on the other team tripped him. The ref blew the whistle, calling for a direct free kick. Richie placed the ball near the goal where the ref told him to. He took a few steps back, before running and kicking the ball, scoring their team a goal. His team surrounded him as the stands cheered. Derry had won and Richie had scored the winning goal.

Eddie made his way out of the stands, leaning against the side of them. He was texting his mother to tell her he was on his way home. As he started to walk away, he heard a voice call out his name. Eddie turned on his heel to find Richie jogging toward him.

Eddie made a face at the amount of dirt and sweat that was on him. “You look disgusting.”

“Not as disgusting as me and your mom last night,” Richie smirked. Eddie rolled his eyes, shoving his phone back in his pocket.

“You’re gross and I’m leaving,” Eddie said, starting to walk away.

“Not before going out to get ice cream with me,” Richie called. Eddie stopped walking and turned back around.

“What?”

“You and me, ice cream. What more explanation do you want?”

“Who said I was going with you?”

“I did!”

“It seems like I never seem to have a choice with you, do I?”

“No. No, you don’t. Stay here, I’m going to go change and shower unless you wanna join me.” Richie winked.

“You’re gross and I hate you,” Eddie responded as Richie walked away. Eddie tried to ignore the blush that he felt growing on his face at a mere wink. He couldn’t like Richie. He couldn’t- and wouldn’t.

But he did.

HEY HELLO

i really like this idea so PART TWO??? LEMME KNOW

also you can ask to be on the perma taglist or just the taglist for this fic i can do both

masterlist

part two??/ask to be on taglist

thank you for reading <3

perma taglist: @richiewheeler @rose1828 @trashrichie @eddiekazpbraks @qxantxm @bloggerboy101 @losersclub101 @pancoon237 @strangerthoughts @peachycin @loverboykaspbrak @spookyskarsgard @that-1girl-with--hair @freecssu @mbates12 @trashmouthreddie @richie-tczier @summerxle @fxckthxpxlxce @joomtrash @acourtofbooks @trashmoutheds @hawkiye @aurordafni @strangerbeeps @reddieburnstheretoo @colorful-dodie @howellhxlic @somenates27 @reddie-to-rock @eddierichietozier @emo-trash-overlord @rhubarberous @eddie-kaspjack @thesingingreader @thalialightwood @trashmouthreddie @cryttalized @karynrose13-blog-blog @detectivejas @richiesloser

#reddie #richie tozier #richie x eddie #richie and eddie #stan uris #eddie kaspbrak #bill denbrough #it 2017 #it #it movie #jack dylan grazer #jaeden lieberher #finn wolfhard #wyatt oleff

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xtinefaricy-blog · 7 years ago

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wassup buddies!! i’m bugsy! this is my bean, christine! i’m a mess and so is she, you can read more about her under the cut! then message me or like this for plotting heckie yEAH!

muse 31 + virginia gardner + cisfem + she/her ; is that christine heading toward the faricy home? they must be going home to their family. at twenty years old the nanny is often called the fallen angel. maybe it’s because they seem so empathetic + passionate, but i bet their parents think they’re gullible + anxious. rumour has it that she used the scandal as an excuse to drop out of college when really she was already failing most her classes, but i doubt that’s true. chrissy doesn’t seem like the type.

STATS

full name: christine danielle van buren faricy

nickname(s): chrissy

age: twenty

gender: cis-female

pronouns: she/her

date of birth: june 25th

zodiac sign: cancer

label: the fallen angel

occupation: nanny

orientation: bicurious (ultimately is bi but not identifying as such atm)

relationship status: single

language(s): english, french

hair colour: blonde

eye colour: blue

drink / smoke / drugs: yes / no / no

faceclaim: virginia garder

likes / dislikes: iced coffee, household pets, peonies, thin mints, shopping / bugs, betrayal, slime videos, gum, fish

positive traits: loyal, kind, nurturing, empathetic, passionate

negative traits: gullible, anxious, clingy, sensitive, emotional

if she was in a hogwarts house: hufflepuff

IDK OTHER SHIT

i don’t wanna get too much into the family based background while i’m the only faricy here but generally:

grew up wealthy, was aware that her parents weren’t “fairytale in love” but kinda of just thought that’s how they were, relatively uninteresting upbrining. she wasn’t great in high school but good enough to get into a good college (with the back up of her parents money ofc). would have been relatively popular

college is kind of where the interesting stuff and most of her character that i’ve planned out is so lets get into tHAT

before she even started applying for colleges she wasn’t sure it was what she wanted to do

but it was what everyone was doing and what her parents expected of her so she did it

it’s not that she didn’t like college, she really did enjoy it but no matter how many times she switched majors she just couldn’t find somewhere to settle, something she was passionate about

she started with studying to become a vet, and then she did something more artistic and then she did architecture but it all felt wrong

of course finding out about her father, and her father getting charged with so many things was horrifying

she was a daddy’s girl through and through and had never imagined her father capable of the things he was accused of

she was already failing classes, but the scandal was much larger so she said that was why she was dropping out of college

her family knows the truth of it but it’s all so much easier to blame their problems on their now absent father, even precious little daddy’s girl christine

pretty much as soon as they arrived in juniper isle she started working, just babysitting and dog watching at first but soon landed a job as a nanny

she’s not really coping without her family’s previous wealth. it’s not that she’s mad or anything just that she keeps accidentally spending like it’s nothing because she’s used to that being the case

last point: she hates that her mother made her change her last name, she wanted to show support for her father by still going by van buren and kinda plans on changing it back once she’s able to

WANTED CONNECTIONS

everything thank

no but for real, mostly i like brainstorming but here are some rando things i’d like to see/build on

ride or die/best friend

her sQUAD (probs like 4-5 people?)

ex hook ups (she probs hasn’t been around long enough for exes but im down)

party pals (only friends when they are drunk or need to be)

connections from college (i haven’t decided where she went yet but could be classmates, sorority sister, exes, whatever)

crush!

someone crushing on her and she’s oblivious?

people she nannies for/nannies their younger siblings

lots of friends tbh the girl needs them

a girl she’s kind of got feelings for but the main feeling is curiosity

someone who’s family was screwed by her dad

idk that’s all i can think of rn bUT ANYTHING U GOT THAT I CAN HELP WITH LMK!!!!

#isle.intro #*:･ﾟ✧ shut up bugsy ( ooc )#( about )

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cryinggameff · 8 years ago

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Sixty One

Randi

Cayden and I were in a really good place since my last therapy session and we had been talking about a lot of things over the last 2 weeks. I guess my opening up and emotional display when I came home had really made him feel some way because he had been telling me a lot about his childhood and things that made him the way he was.

We sat in the car driving to the mall because I wanted a dress to wear to the club for some event Cole and Ty were having. I sat in the passenger seat with my hand on the console and his over mine.

“So tell me about you and Ty stealing cars as kids,” I said, looking over and smiling at him. He laughed.

“God, we were idiots. We made hella money doing that though. Most of my elementary and high school I was doing that. This random OG worked in a car shop I used to walk past on my way to school. Well pretending to walk to school. He’d see me ditch my bag once I made it past the block and go off to do whatever reckless shit for the day,” he said.

“You didn’t go to school?” I asked.

“Nah, I hated it. Never understood what was happening in class,” he shrugged.

“But you’re smart Cay,” I was confused.

“It wasn’t that, I just ain’t pay attention. All I wanted was to either play ball or kick it with my homies. Ty didn’t go to my school and he was my best friend, so I think that made it worse.”

“Awe you missed him,” I giggled. He kissed his teeth. “Ok so the guy at the car shop.”

“Yeah, so he seen me, then one day he stopped me and asked where I was going everyday. I said no where, then he asked if I wanted to put my time into something profitable. Being the young pimpin I was, I was like aight. Told Ty, and that’s how we ended up brining in cars for him,” he finished the story. I raised my brows.

“So your mom didn’t know what you was doing?”

“No. Trey didn’t even know for a while,” he laughed after that.

“What?” I grinned looking up at his amused face.

“I just remembered how he beat my ass when he found out. He said he didn’t want me doing all that, even though the nigga was balls deep in the drug game,” he explained.

“He wanted to protect you.” I understood that. Cay nodded. “Trey sounds like he was a really good brother.”

“He was,” he looked away and out the windshield to the long line of backed up cars in front of us. We had been stuck in traffic for over an hour but I didn’t mind.

“Does it still make you sad to talk about him?” I asked, squeezing his hand. He shook his head.

“Not so much now. 2,3, years ago, ya. But it’s ok now. ‘Course I wish he was here. But he’s gone and he ain’t coming back, nothing I can do,” his face didn’t reveal much.

“I wish that for you too,” I said. I lifted our hands and kissed the back of his. He glanced over at me and smirked.

“I love you,” he said.

“I love you more,” I said, digging through my bag with my free hand.

“What are you looking for?” He asked, glancing at the rear view mirror.

“Food,” I said.

“We should be there soon now. We’re the next exit,” he said. My stomach growled in response.

“Hopefully I make it,” I said, opening a candy I’d found.

“We stopped at McDonald’s on our way here mama,” he said.

“So what are you trying to say,” I said, closing my bag and folding my hands.

“Nothing. Hey look at that dog in the car next to us,” he changed the subject.

“Don’t get any idea’s,” I said.

“Come on, we should get one. They’re so cute,” he said.

“They are cute, but I know you’d get one and I’d end up doing everything,” I narrowed my eyes. He chuckled.

“All you gotta do is walk it,” he said.

“And pick up it’s poo. Nah I can’t do dog shit. I can change diapers, wipe a bum or 2” I said without thinking and there was a brief silence. It wasn’t an awkward silence. The tension between us was hard to explain. The way he looked at me made my knees weak and I couldn’t look away so that didn’t help.

“You can put diapers on the dog,” he said.

“You know how expensive diapers are?” I laughed “ if I’m buying them there better be a human baby involved.”

“Good point,” he said, changing lanes to exit. I looked out the window. I could see the mall from where we were.

In the mall we went into several stores looking for a white dress since the theme was all white.

“This feels like shopping for my wedding dress all over again,” I said as Cayden zipped me into a dress. I turned around to face him and he was cheesing.

“You looked sexy as hell in that dress,” he said.

“I liked seeing you in a suit,” i said, placing my hands on his chest.

“Maybe we should get married again,” he suggested. I laughed.

“I barely survived the first wedding, I was so nervous. Can’t do that again,” I said, playing with the hair at the back of his neck.

“You got over it though,” he said.

“Yeah, when I saw your face it went away,” i recalled the exact moment.

“Aweee,” he said, imitating a female voice. I rolled my eyes.

“Lucky I like you,” I mumbled.

“I like you too I guess,” he shrugged. I pulled away to look in the mirror. “And I like this one,” he said.

“It makes me look wide,” I frowned at the mirror. He shook his head.

“Nah it’s good,” he assured me. “Your boobs look big, you always like that,” he shrugged.

“They do don’t they,” I turned to the side peeping the cleavage. “Ok I’ll get it.”

I went back into the change room and closed the door to get back in to my own clothes.

Cole

Ty drove up to Dallas to pick me up Saturday morning after my first week at training camp. I low key missed everybody but particularly him. He insisted on me coming back for the weekend since I had no training and he wanted to throw some kind of party or whatever which was dope. We were on some couple shit for real this time so i guess he wasn’t worried about going out together and everyone knowing what was really going down. Now that he was out of the closet as gay…or bi…or whatever he classified himself as.

We were packing up the car with my few things and were about to hit the road.

“You say bye to your little friends?” He asked. I scoffed.

“You’re jealous aren’t you?” I guessed. “All these buff football niggas.”

“Only if you give me a reason to be,” he shrugged.

“That’s not my type anyway,” I said, locking the door to my apartment. We went down the stairs to the car.

“What is your type?” He asked several minutes later. I shrugged.

“Lanky niggas like you,” I said with a smirk. He didn’t think it was funny, but what was new.

We stopped for food at Buffalo Wild Wings before going to Ty’s place because we were both starving. Our wings came and we ate them while watching the golden state game that was on the TV.

“So i been wondering,” i said, starting on something that had been on my mind for a while.

“Yeah,” he said, eyes on the Tv above.

“How was it being with girls before?” I made my tone casual. He shrugged.

“Good,” he said, “it was never nothing serious, just fucked with some chicks.”

“Whats better? Being with a dude or a chick?” i chuckled but it was a bit nervous honestly. I thought about the fact that, for most of his life, Ty had been interested in girls quite a lot. Not gonna lie, it made me insecure because unlike me, he was actually attracted to women as well, and i wasn’t sure where that left me. I had to worry about him looking both ways. All this shit was why in the past i didnt take things past hookups. He looked from the TV to me and looked unusually serious.

“It aint even about that,” he said. “Being with you is better, and not because you a dude. Because you’re you,” he said. That was just about the most, lovey dovey, romantic or whatever you wanna call it, thing anyone had ever said to me. I didnt have anything to say back, i was just surprised. “Better not tell anyone i said that soft ass shit.” I grinned.

“Bet,” i said. He nodded and turned back to the TV.

When we got to Ty’s place we somehow ended up making out as soon as we stepped through the doors. We stumbled down the hallway and to his bedroom, knocking things down the whole way there. I pulled away to grab his shirt and pulled it up over his arms. I liked his tattoos a lot. I had a few but the full chest and arms looked good on him. He gripped my neck and pulled me back in to put his lips on mine. We were at the foot of the bed so i pushed him back and he fell on to the bed. I leaned over him and put my mouth to his chest. I trailed down his stomach slowly. His phone started ringing then. He didnt make a move to get it so i went on to unbutton his jeans. I got them down to his knees and then the phone went off again.

“You gon get that?” i said, looking up at him. He was biting his lip which was adorable but id never tell him that.

“Fuck that,” he said, voice hoarse. I chuckled and continued the trail of kisses until i reached my final destination and Ty’s teeth quickly sank back into his lip. I wanted to show him how i felt about him after what he said at the restaurant and i wasn’t the best with words. From the look on his face i was pretty sure this would do.

We were laying in the bed chilling for a while after, catching our breath and everything. Ty’s phone was ringing again so i told him to just get it. I got up and put my boxers on, making my way to the kitchen to get bottles of water. When i came back he was talking to someone.

“They came to yo crib?” He sounded pretty heated. There wa silence for a bit. “You think they actually got anything?”

I handed him the bottle and he took it. I sat down beside him.

“Aight well keep me posted. We’ll discuss it tonight at the club. Aight,” he said, then hung up.

“Cayden?” i guessed. He nodded. “Everything okay?”

“Some shit may be going down. But we handling it,” he said. I nodded understanding. I had been around the game enough to understand and not bother asking too many questions.

“Im sure yall gon handle it,” i said simply.

Cayden

After taking Randi to get all her stuff at the mall we drove back home to just chill because we were tired of going around. She went to the closet to go and try all her stuff on all over again and do whatever other shit. I changed into some shorts and grabbed my headphones.

“Im gonna go workout in the basement,” i said.

“Ok,” she said. “I might be gone when you done. Gotta stop by the shop for a quick minute and sign some stuff for Jada and China.”

“Aight. Let me know if you want me to take you,” grabbed a towel from the hamper.

“K, thanks,”

I turned and left the bedroom. When i got downstairs i did a bit of cardio on the treadmill to get a good sweat going before i did any lifting. My weights were all out of order because Randi ass be using my shit and got no respect to put things back the way she found them.

About 30 minutes into my workout i heard the doorbell going off upstairs.

“I got it!” Randi yelled. I hadnt been sure she was still home. I assumed she’d called somebody over. I continued lifting my weights.

A few minutes later heavy footsteps came down the stairs and Randi was walking, no storming, towards me. Her face wasn’t a happy one. I raised a brow. She pointed at my headphones so took them off. She handed me a piece of paper. 'Detective James Smith, FBI’. My body stiffened and my face went blank. The feds had showed up at my door and talked to Randi. I was livid. I tore the card and gave it back to her.

“Should i be worried?” she asked. I shook my head.

“No,” i said. She glared at me until i got up from the bench. “Im handling it,” i said. She gave me some side eye but i guess she believed me because she didnt blow up.

“Better be,” she said.

“What they want?”

“They just asked questions. Some bullshit about suspicious cars in the neighbourhood. They wanted to come inside.”

“What you say to them?” i asked.

“That i had no idea what they were talking about and you weren’t home,” she said in a 'duh’ tone.

“You lied?” I said, surprised, “to the feds?”

“Yeah,” she said in the same tone.

“You didnt have to lie for me,” i said simply, “i dont want you involved in this.”

“Thats the stupidest thing you’ve ever said,” her voice was full with rage. My brows came together in confusion. I expected she’d swoon over the fact that i was doing everything to protect her. “Of course im gonna lie for your ass,” she threw the pieces of paper in my face. “I love you, you idiot. Don’t you get it?”

I did get it, and i should have known she would do everything to stick by my side and ride for me. I was willing to go down for her and she was ready to do the same. But i couldn’t have that.

“I know,” i said, understanding. “Its all gonna be over in a few days. I just gotta deal with someone and its all not gonna matter anymore.”

“Okay,” she said, mouth in a deep set frown. I grabbed her waist with one hand.

“I love you lil mama,” i said, “thats my focus, it always is,” i assured her. I used my other hand to grip her chin and pull her into a deep kiss. The kind that made her close her eyes and forget where she was. She put her hands on my arms to support herself.

“I love you too,” she said breathlessly. Seems i had avoided this argument.

“You still wanna go out tonight?” i asked. She sighed.

“Yeah, lets go. I wanna be there for Cole, we just fixed things,” she said. I nodded understanding.

Later into the night we were in the car headed to the club for Ty and Cole’s event. I had on some while jeans and a white t shirt with my chain. Randi had on the dress that we had bought earlier that day, and i swear i didnt remember it being that short but maybe it just felt that way now that i could see niggas standing outside the club waiting to get in. I pulled into a parking spot and parked the car. She pulled the mirror down to fix her lip gloss. I watched her put it on.

“I cant see, how is it?” she said, turning to me. I took my thumb and wiped the little bit that was on the side of her lips.

“Good,” i said. She smiled. I opened my door and got out to go around to her side. I opened the door for her and she grabbed my hand to get out. We walked towards the entrance and i looked around. Ty was supposed to pull up any minute and we were gonna talk about what had happened. I saw him talking to the bouncers at the front of the line. He saw us and nodded. The bouncer opened up the rope so we could skip the line.

“Go inside, ill be there in a minute,” i said to Randi.

“Ok,” she said, letting go of my arm. The bouncer opened the door and i watched her go inside. Ty dapped me up and we stepped off to the side.

“So whats the deal. I thought we paid everyone off. Who talked?” He said. I shook my head.

“We did. Its not one of our guys. Apparently they got a witness who saw the deal going down. Thats all they got on the case. We deal with them, they got nothing to go on,” I said, pulling a blunt out from my pocket. I lit it and put it between my lips.

“So you wanna kill them?” He asked. I shook my head no.

“Nah, thats messy. They’d be on us quick, and people would look for that person. They just trying to make a buck, theres a cash reward. We just gotta give them i better deal and i guarantee they gon suddenly forget what they saw,” i said, taking a long drag from the blunt. Ty took it and took a hit.

“If you think thats best,” he said. “I wouldn’t mind offing them.”

“Neither would i, but we gotta be smart about it. Can’t get trigger happy.”

“And thats why you in charge not me,” he chuckled. “You be thinking about shit.” i shrugged.

“Red taught me a thing or 2, before he lost his mind,” i mumbled. He nodded.

“Aight,” he handed me the blunt. “Im going in,” he said.

“Imma finish this, be there in a minute,” i said. He went back to the bouncer who let him in.

I was smoking my blunt for a few minutes just thinking when Ty came back out, jogging towards me.

“Yo,” he said. “Better come get yo girl,” he said. My brows came together. What kind of trouble could Randi of all people have gotten into at a club. I put out my blunt. We opened the doors and went inside the club. It was packed. Ty led the way towards the back and i followed. We made it to the bar where i saw Randi, China and Jada standing close together. They were definitely ready to pop off. They were facing another group of a few girls in what could only be a stare down. The other girl was in some skimpy bra and shorts outfit with curly black hair. She had tattoos all over and stood a good bit over Randi. Honestly looking her over i didn’t like Randi’s odds of winning whatever this was. I wasn’t sure what had happened. On the outskirts of the little brawl i saw Cole. I nodded at him.

“Whats going on?” i asked.

“Some chick came sideways at Randi, threw her drink her at her,” he said. I saw the stain on Randi’s white dress. I wasn’t sure what she was gonna do, she was saying something to the girl. I pushed through the few people around them to get behind the wall her and the girls had formed.

“What’s good Randi?” i said. She looked back at me and i saw rage in her eyes.

“Stay out of this Cayden, i got it” she said, walking forward. I looked around for a minute. The guys looked to me to see if they should intervene. Most of my niggas were here and could easily start something. They all would for Randi too since she was my wife. We couldn’t really post up on a chick though so I just shook my head telling them to leave it.

“So what you gonna do?” I asked, standing close behind her.

“Imma just tell her she got me fucked up,” she said. I nodded hesitantly. I got the idea that there was no convincing her to back down now.

Randi walked up to the girl and she crossed her arms. The music was so loud i couldn’t hear what they were saying to each other but it was pretty obvious they were cursing and all that. The girl stepped up to Randi but she didn’t even flinch despite the fact that the other girl was taller. Something was said and Randi snatched the girl’s hair. That’s when things went downhill. I was too stunned by this side of Randi to even do anything. They fell to the ground and I couldn’t see much other than them rolling all over the place. Randi got on top, sitting on the girl’s chest and the girl swiped at Randi. People had gathered now to watch the scene.

“Fuck!” She screamed, and that’s when we moved foward. I had to push past the little crowd that had formed so it took me a while to get to her. By the time I got there, Randi had a knife in her hand and positioned at the girl’s neck.

“Randi!” I shouted, getting her attention. “Give it to me.”

“The bitch cut me,” she yelled, still holding the knife.

“You got her too,” I said pointing at the slash on her collar, “she got the message, right?” I asked the girl who nodded quickly. Randi paused then handed me the knife. She got up off the girl who scrambled up off the floor and quickly ran away with her friends close behind her. Randi fixed her dress and turned to face me.

“Cayden, we gotta bounce,” Pat said, “before the popo pull up.” I nodded and grabbed Randi’s arm as well as collected her friends, then headed for the exit.

“Yall go home, I’ll take the girls back,” Pat offered outside the club. I nodded and told him thanks then pulled a still angry Randi to the car. I opened the door and pushed her inside.

We were dead silent the whole ride home. I didn’t really know what to say, and she was mad, i guess at me, so she was giving silent treatment. When i pulled up to the driveway and parked the car i turned to look at her. I was pretty livid that she had acted like that honestly. She opened her door and got out so i did the same. We got in the house and upstairs to the room. She sat on the bed, touching her arm that had gotten cut. I felt a little bit of guilt then.

“I shouldn’t have let you fight that chick,” I said, looking at her arm. “Since when do you get into fights anyway?” I asked, my voice raised.

“That dumb bitch started it,” she mumbled, dabbing her shoulder. I went to the bathroom and grabbed some stuff to clean it. I handed her some cotton balls.

“So you really had to jump her?” I asked, still in shock. Really Randi had started the physical part of the fight. Though the girl escalated it with the knife.

“Yeah. Then she shanked me, so i had to finish it. You always getting into fights with people, why can’t i?”

“So you was really gon kill her?” I asked, talking about before I called her off. She shrugged. I sighed, and wrapped her arm with a bandage. I thought about her sitting on that girl and ready to cut her like she was in a movie. I was angry but also kind of amused. I felt my face relaxing a little bit into a smirk. That was some shit i would do. "So you think you a gangster now or what?“

"I been a gangster,” she said, side eyeing me. I chuckled.

“Nah it don’t count until you catch a body, or at least some battle wounds,” I said. She pointed to the arm that I had just bandaged. I laughed.

“That small thing,” I scoffed.

“I would have caught a body if you hadnt interrupted.” She rolled her eyes. I grabbed her chin and looked at her.

“On a serious note. You can’t go around fighting people Randi. You gonna get hurt, she could have had a gun. And you wont be catching any bodies, ever. Thats not the type of shit i need my wife doing. Don’t do dumb shit just because I do it,” I said, looking her in the eyes to show I was dead ass.

“That wasn’t why Cayden. I would have fought her either way. I don’t regret it,” she said. I nodded.

“Well, you handled yourself well. I can’t lie, I’m a little proud of you. Maybe there’s a little street in you after all.” I smiled. She grinned and kissed me.

“How am I gonna explain this to my parents?” She asked suddenly. I grabbed all the stuff we had used.

“That’s your business. That’s what happens when you jump people,” I teased, going to put everything away in the bathroom and clean my hands.

“You’re exaggerating i did not jump her,” she said. When i was back in the room i gave her doubtful eyes.

“Aight miss world star.”

“Whatever. Come help me take my shoes off,” she said, laying back on the bed. I went and grabbed her legs, taking her heels off.

“You want some advil?” i asked. She shook her head.

“Just come lay with me,” she said. I got on the bed and spooned her from behind. I wrapped my arms around her waist and rested my hands on her stomach.

“Better?” i asked. She nodded. I kissed her head. I loved my crazy ass wife.

#chris brown #chris brown fanfic #chris brown ff #Jhene Aiko #jhene chilombo #jhene efuru #jhene aiko fanfic #jhene aiko fanfiction #j cole fanfic #j cole #team breezy #fanfiction #fandom #fan fiction #fanfic #fanfic update #celebrity fanfic #celebrity fanfiction

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paladin-of-nerd-fandom65 · 8 years ago

Text

Mission

A Continuation from my Previous story ‘Mary the Talon’, hopefully this’ll eventually grow into a bit of miniseries in which will be posted here on Tumblr for all to enjoy.

The Jump City PD Copter was just finishing its twelfth out of fifth teen passes over the city skyline, in hopes of spotting anything suspicious, about Teen Titans level of suspicious. One of the pilots on board, Joe really wish for these passes to be done with by now in all honesty, his little boy was just needing a nice goodnight smooch on his head before tomorrow’s mornings First day of school. His co pilot looked over shoulder, feeling a bit of sympathy for his friend, but as he reached for his Joe’s shoulders, some…thing passed them in a quick flash, and he spots it as fast.

“Did you see that?”

About hundreds of feet below, in one of Jump’s ever not-so-crowded parking lots, business was going down. Inside a fair sized hideout, a group of at least seventeen men,, each wearing their own tacky suits and wielding some sort of firearm and/or knife that obviously belonged to Prohibition era crime as opposed to the “Hipster junk” younger criminal types like to use. About twelve of these gangsters stood guard around the remaining five, as said five engage in a mostly friendly game of poker. Well actually four of them as the final one, and the actual leader of this merry band, counted their profits from today’s little “junk profiteering”. The air around stank with cigar smoke as many cards were shuffled and decked out amongst the so called gentlemen as their alcohol intoxicated eyesight made for easy yet irrational guesses on which card was which, betting away money that could’ve wounded up on charity blocks and banks down below instead of this greasy, dark rat hole of place in which only had one big light on, A light in which that mysterious flying…something took note when planning the first strike against the targets.

The order from the Masters was simple: Amongst this “gang” was a man linked to former Gotham Mobster Anthony Zucco, Charles ‘Chucky’ Sol. The Masters were apparently in agreement with one of their precious Talons that Zucco’s actions have brought them great harm in their plans for controlling Gotham’s underground in light of Carmine Falcone’s downfall. Since the pathetic leech Zucco was dealt with about seven years ago on the electric chair, all that was left now was the scum who’ve worked under name. The good Sol, who served as Zucco’s accountant, was among them. It just so happens in fact Sol and a small amount of the men who worked for Zucco were establishing a network of trade, both legal and not, within Jump City rather secretly in light of these so called “super villains” on the prowl. There goes that name once more ‘Zucco’, and with it these…visions…with words mutter including “racket”, “my brothers”, and “accidents”. But the Talon had no such time to ponder this nonsense, these vermin must receive their sentences and so with quick through to the light via a knife, the mission begins.

In almost immediate reaction to the light’s literally going out, the gangster whip out their firearms, most commonly six-bullet revolvers but with three wielding Thompsons. Soon a thud was on the poker table, the guns turn to the figure, cloaked in complete blackness along with everything else so they couldn’t decipher it. However, as one of the crooks close to Sol notes the two yellowish white eyes and the cape like feeling right behind it not to mention the short height, he immediately screams in near horror, “ITS BOY BLUNDER, GET ‘IM!”

So now with their fingers all squeezing their triggers simultaneously, “Boy Blunder” flips with a quick but far reaching back flip, while reaching out for one of the knives strapped to his chest, throwing two of them into the brain pans of two crooks with Thompsons while using a third one to immediate slash away the pistol wieldier to the right side of Sol. In pitch blackness, Sol couldn’t see anyways of those actions or the stabbing/slashing of the knives in use or the blood squirting onto his favorite Deluxe. In all fairness though, he didn’t need to, the sounds of men crying out in absolute pain and the smell of iron at his feet was proof enough that either someone was doing VERY impressive magic show with his men as unknowing participants or the most likely case; Boy blunder here has apparently cracked and start turn his little day off from working into a literal blood bath. Whatever the case, he isn’t sticking around to see what’ll happen next, he’s out of here. As Sol rushes for the nearest he remembers, muzzle flashes from his men’s guns light up squirts and spills of blood flying, coming either his men’s throats or their chests, most likely their heart spots. Oh yeah, he was defiantly out of here.

The much more lighted up hallways leading to this stinking buildings parking lot were what he needed to make his quick getaway from whatever was doing the crap behind him. Well, quick getaway would’ve been right had it not been for one daunting fact that immediate froze the good Mr. Charles Sol in his tracks: the one behind that crap was standing in front of him in puff of smoke. Believe or not though, it wasn’t that Boy Blunder Robin or any of his precious “Titan” chumps.

The figure was dressed in mostly very dark brown and black suit that looked something of a 1800s fashion pageant, a fashion pageant that happen to be bird themed or something as the mask to two glowing eyes shone from was shaped like an owl, a forest owl if he isn’t mistaken.

“W-wait a minute, you ain’t boy blunder”, stutters Sol as he puts all the information just said into words.

The Owl speaks, with a grave, cold yet strangely feminine voice, “Charles Sol, The Court has made their verdict.”

Court? What Verdict? What the fudge was this baloney coming from? But Sol immediately ditched those questions in mind as he whips out his revolver to blow away this lady. Or at least, he would’ve had not been for the almost instant swipe of this thing’s mini swords slicing through his gun, the force of said swing throwing him to the ground, forcing him to crawl on his hands and butt.

“What are you? The hell you want from me?!” yelled Sol as he crawled away in absolute fear from this chick as she pointed her sword to his nose.

“They have sentenced you to death, ‘Chucky Boy’”, came the almost monotone response from the owl lady as she prepared to swing her final strike, a strike that could’ve came had it not came to sound of a motorbike parking down below them. It wasn’t just any motorbike though, unbeknownst to them, it was the R-Cycle with Robin the Boy Wonder unloading from it to investigate a building with small flashes showing through it windows. For this owl like woman, time was of the essence, she needs Sol’s blood now. Thankfully, ‘Chucky Boy’ hadn’t gone too far in his sneak off as he was right now trying to start his rusty old Ford. Too bad so sad for him however, the engines die out at the absolute worst moment for owl chick was about three steps close to him. So grabbing his double barrel shotgun for the backseat, Sol opens the door, placing two buck shots into the lady’s chest hoping that’s the end of it. Unfortunately its seems good old Karma has gone cold for the owl lady begins to stand up, the black fluid leaking from where her heart’s blood was supposed to be and the buck shot holes closing up.

“Impress me”, said the owl lady as she drew out her sword from the ground but not before taking the last two knives from her shoulder belt and using them as nails through Sol’s hands, pinning him to the wall and raising her blade next to his throat. With a last spit to her goggled left eye, Sol sneers “I did, you bi...” Charles Sol never finished his sentence for a quick beheading was done. With that the mission was done. Mary Elizabeth Llodveski/Lloyd Grayson’s mission for her masters, the Court of Owls, was accomplished for tonight.

Epilogue:

As Robin reach for the parkway, he saw what remained of gangster Chucky Sol, head with a facial of horror on the ground while the rest of the body was pinned to the wall with two knives, one per hand, holding it in place. The crucifix pose the body was left can open up a whole entire drawer’s worth of potential criminal types that uses Christian based imagery like this. Those thoughts were put on hold however with closer examination of the knives in use. They were imprinted with an owl emblem at their hilts and some sort of black liquid dripping off, this is the clue he’ll need for Cyborg to scan it for potential suspects.

As he was getting ready to leave however, looking up towards the opposite door, Robin notices something… no, someone at the doorway.

“FREEZE” Robin yells as he rushes to the door to reach the one who might responsible. But he by the time he reached the door, he was too late; the person had disappeared with only a small puff of smoke in its place.

Robin couldn’t help but glare his mask a bit; it was going to be one of those cases again wasn’t it? When will he ever unmask both Red X and Slade before this gets out of hand? Honestly!

So there it is folks, Part of my “Mary Grayson as a Talon” AU please feel free to reblog or leave comments. I really appreciate it.

#mary grayson #court of owls #fanfic #my posts

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