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moon3thereal · 4 years ago

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Hey, i have a natasha x reader request. So Natasha is a very composed person always know what to do and basically everybody is terrified of the ex-assassin. But when she sees you for the first time she gets so flustered and ends up stuttering over her words, and it doesn’t stop every time she sees you her cheeks will turn red and and don’t know what to do, but it’s worse when you will compliment her or tease her, she will blush so hard when you “accidentally touch her” or throw a suggestive joke at her. The avengers will tease her relentless because of this because she is so lovestruck even in important meetings they will tease her to embarrass her in front of fury. Fluffy ending where reader kisses Nat and a very flustered and happy Nat after.

Title: Forbidden Rendezvous

Pairings: Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Reader

Genre: fluff

Warnings: none but if you find any do lmk

a/n: thank you for the req! I enjoyed writing this one very much and i hope you guys like it <3

1.4k

Natasha Romanoff, the black widow herself, seemingly had a reputation to uphold. She was cold, ruthless, efficient, her instinct uncannily accurate. In short, she was one of the best agents in S.H.I.E.L.D if not the best. The Avenger was also pretty much the most stone-faced, cold-heartedly composed person in the world. She was a force to be reckoned with

That all went to hell when she met you, it was an avengers meeting, to be acquainted with the newest recruit to the Avengers initiative, all the Avengers had been told was that this recruit was a she and that she was one of S.H.I.E.L.D’s most elite agents and was probably here to babysit them and keep them out of trouble.

Which is why Natasha never expected someone like you to walk into the room, back straight, with the same elegant strut she’d found herself using more often than not. There was an air of composure around you, people could take one look at you and know that they shouldn’t mess with you. You had somehow managed to look daintily pretty but if they looked carefully at your posture, ready to attack should a threat arise, highly dangerous.

Once Natasha’s eyes landed on you, she couldn’t seem to tear them away, she was completely fixated on you, all the way from the door to when you took your place in an unoccupied seat with a bright smile on your lips that were painted just the right shade of red. Natasha studied the way a few strands of your hair fell out of your ponytail and curled around your jaw perfectly, framing your face. The way your lips parted to speak, presumably to introduce yourself, the Russian was put in a trance and there was an awkward silence when it was her turn to introduce herself

Clint, who was sitting next to her, raised an eyebrow at the dreamy look on her face and had to nudge her twice before she jumped slightly, startled and glared at him, he gestured to you and Natasha’s expression of indignation morphed to one of embarrassment and back to her original neutrality. You had noticed Natasha’s lingering stare on you, not the stare you’d seen her use on so many interrogatees and victims of her wrath, this stare was softer, almost like she was captivated by you

After a solid five seconds of Natasha pulling herself together, she extended her hand to you with a soft “hi, Natasha Romanoff” and before you had the chance to introduce yourself, she said “I mean, I’m Natasha Romanoff, you’re y/n y/l/n, I didn’t, I know you’re not Natasha Romanoff” The Avengers all had looks of astonishment on her face, she was always composed, even in the worst situations, none of them had ever seen her like this. Damn you Natasha she thought, she had absolutely no idea why her brain was short circuiting like this, it had never happened before

You laughed lightly before extending your own and shaking hers that was slightly sweaty, “hi, nice to meet you” she nodded, evidently flustered. How can someone be this perfect she thought. She’d seen you training in S.H.I.E.L.D quarters a few times but since she spent most of her time in the Avengers compound now, she’d never seen you up close.

After the meeting, which she hadn’t paid attention to anything else but the crease in your brows when you were concentrating, the way you knew how to disagree without offending the other individual, how intelligent you were, within the 2 hours you had joined the Avengers you had already solved a major problem with ease

It had been a month since that day, you were settled in the compound, you had a room to yourself, and you found it pretty comfortable, you’d gone on a few minor missions, nothing serious. You were already enjoying their company and was getting used to the new environment. But you enjoyed Natasha’s company most, from what you know and what you heard, she was supposed to be an extremely dangerous individual, but around you, she was an absolute klutz and also the most adorable person you’ve met.

All the interactions between you too had always ended up in Natasha blushing furiously and you adoring how her cheeks got all rosy and her face would turn the same fiery red of her hair when you casually threw a suggestive comment her way, basically you both being absolutely whipped for each other and refusing to admit it first

You were hacking into a computer system with Tony’s tech when Steve said “there’s no way you can pull that off, I know, I’ve tried” you simply scoffed, your hands flying over the keyboard typing in several coordinates “I’m y/n y/l/n, I can pull off everything” seizing the opportunity to once again fluster the redhead you pointed at her “including your clothes” just like you predicted, her cheeks immediately flushed red and a panicky chuckle fell from her lips

Steve rolled his eyes “see, according to you, I’m a million year old fossil, but still, even I can see that you are completely and irrevocably in love with her” you had successfully hacked into the system and pumped your fists triumphantly, transferring the information into a hard drive “I never said I wasn’t Rogers” you said sending a wink Natasha’s way and ‘accidentally’ brushing her bare arm lightly with yours as you passed by earning yourself a nervous squeak from her

Even in important meetings, Natasha was often caught giving you heart eyes, like this one right now, Fury was staring at her waiting for her to give him a plethora of solutions like she normally would. This time however, she was busy staring at you and were practically making out with you with her eyes. Fury cast his glance around the avengers silently inquiring as to what happened to his best agent. “she’s infatuated with her new girlfriend” tony said

The abrupt voice snapped Natasha out of her thoughts and she sent him her killer glare “I am not” knowing chuckles reverberated around the meeting room, even you let out a soft laugh at her obliviousness. “Did you know that Romanoff let y/n borrow her motorbike?” Clint said in a faux conspiratory voice. The director’s eyebrows shot up “is that so?” one corner of his lips quirked up in a smirk

“So what if it is, its just a bike” Natasha tried to act nonchalant but the flush in her cheeks betrayed her. “Ah look, the adoptive murder daughter has found love” tony said sarcastically “I will cause you pain in ways you can’t even imagine” Natasha gritted out. Taking pity on her, you snapped your fingers “Okay okay, this has been fun, but back to the tesseract?”

After the meeting, and more relentless teasing, resulting in an extremely irritable Natasha, she had pulled you aside into an empty store room “ooh is this our forbidden rendezvous” you wiggled your eyebrows suggestively. Even in the dark, you could swear that Natasha was blushing like she always did even if you so much as looked at her

“no this is me apologizing on behalf of the team and what they said back there, it was disrespectful-” catching your quirked eyebrow and look of amusement indicating that you were in fact not at all offended by the team’s teasing and she was the only one amongst all of them that didn’t know you had feelings for her too. Deciding to be bold for once, she smirked “it could be our forbidden rendezvous though”

You smiled and closed the distance between you. You could feel her breath hitch when she noticed how close you were, how she could tilt her head slightly and her lips would meet yours, how much she wanted to feel your lips on hers. So that’s exactly what she did, when your lips touched, it was just like how they described it in books. It ignited something resembling a thunderstorm in you and you couldn’t acknowledge anything else except how her lips felt perfect against yours. You reached to run a hand through her crimson tresses, and when breathing became a difficulty she pulled away, ruffled and lips parted she smiled showing all her impossibly white teeth

“Who knew you were such a good kisser”

“Who knew you would ever get bold enough to find out”

Taglist: @phoenixofash @michelle-dsn @midgardianweasley @zolvaska @jokertgkk @yeeterthekeeper

#natasha romanoff x reader fluff #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff x y/n #black widow x reader #natasha romanoff x you #black widow x y/n #black widow x female reader #natasha x reader #natasha x you #natasha x y/n #black widow fluff

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teartra · 2 years ago

Text

TOH x Lockwood and Co au

Because I’m bored and For The Future and LnC season 1 are going to air around the same time. I use wiki and article for the descriptions

Luz Noceda as Lucy Carlyle

Reason: personality wise? Nope! But they literally have the same name

Role: an agent with amazing Listening interconnected with Touch. She went to The Boiling Isle in search of a notable career, instead she found herself joining the smallest agency in the city, Blight & Co.

Amity Blight as Anthony Lockwood

Reason: I found her rich and business family background to match Lockwood a little bit (except the fact that Lockwood had great parents but dead). They also have great sense of fashion

Role: often called Blight by others, is the head of BLIGHT & Co., one of The Boiling Isle’s smallest and most ramshackle agencies. She is known for her elegant and mysterious personality, recklessness, calmness and enthusiasm during psychic investigations, good looks, gleaming smile, rapier skills, and the ability of Sight. Canonly the same height as Luz but wears high heels to appear taller.

Gus Porter as George Cubbins

Reason: both are smart, curious and resourceful. I’d see Gus’ fascination to human culture could be connected with George’s fascination with ghost

Role: a ghost-hunter and the deputy of Blight & Co. He is the brains of the agency and likes to have preparation time. He is the researcher of the group, preferring to do research and plan carefully before cases. Formerly worked on Wittebane Agency before he got fired.

With a talent for Touch, Gus also works as a field agent – and while he is careful with who he trusts, he is loyal to his dearest friends. He is said to be "fascinated by The Problem and obsessed with trying to understand its origins".

Hunter as Quill Kipps

Reason: Tired, angsty, oldest of the group.

Role: Hunter is a team supervisor of the Wittebane Agency (Fittes Agency in the series). Fostering a rivalry with Amity Blight for many years, he pushes this aside in emergencies and often teams up him and his team with Blight & Co, though not without some snide remarks from both sides. Hunter is still 16 here (younger than Kipps) and about to lose his talent due to his age

Willow Park as Flo Bones

Reason: both are the strongest and I believe Willow could take down Amity just like Flo did with Lockwood

Role: a former agent with exceptional skills who now works as a relic hunter. The profound trauma she experienced on a job led her to quit agency work and she feels disillusioned with how the ghost-fighting system "chews young people up and spits them out".

Willow is Amity Blight’s oldest friend, and they've gone through "their darkest days" together. She becomes a valuable confidante for, and ally to, Blight & Co's team.

King Clawthorne as Skull

Reason: I mean… literally. Also King and Skull both have strong connection with Luz and Lucy

Role: King was the name given to a particularly pernicious male Type Three ghost, whose Source is a skull. Stolen from the Wittebane Agency by Gus Porter, King came into the possession of the Blight & Co. agency. King sometimes provided useful information to the group, but also had a habit of being perverse, revealing dangerous secrets, making witty comments and nonchalantly suggesting casual murder as a solution to problems.

Vee Noceda as Holly Munro

Reason: both are like the mom of the group and probably have more braincell than the other

Role: Luz’s twin sister who came into the scene unannounced (personal hc). Vee is the additional assistant hired by Lockwood & Co. when the workload became too much for them

Lilith Clawthorne as Montagu Barnes

Reason: both are strict and the leader of government organization

Role: the head of DEPRAC (I don’t think I have to change the name since it stands for Department of Psychical Research and Control) and known for strictly abiding by the rules. She shows irritation towards Blight & Co. members since they do not follow DEPRAC guidelines too closely.

Caleb Wittebane as Penelope Fittes

Reason: Just because—

Role: Penelope and Kipps are not related in any way but for the sake of the story, I’ll make Caleb to be Hunter’s uncle. Caleb Wittebane is the current Chairman of the Wittebane Agency and an influential figure in post-The Problem (ghost outbreak) society. He is the grandson of Philip Wittebane, one of the two scientists who discovered the problem and the original founder of Wittebane.

Addional role because I have to put Eda but I don’t want her to be Tom Rotwell

Eda Clawthorne: was a shop owner and one of the most prominent illegal relic dealers. He bought stolen relics and auctioned them. His shop, The House of Owl Antiques Emporium, acted as a front.

The character itself was inspired by Julius Winkman… but not evil

Also some random casting (non fix)

Hunter’s teammate

Bria as Kat Godwin

Angmar/Gavin as Ned Shaw (or I’ll make another character)

Mattholomule as Bobby Vernon (I want him to be redeemed here tho)

Terra Snapdragon as Tom Rotwell

Leader of Snapdragon (Rotwell) agency, second agency on The Boiling Isle. Old friend of Philip Wittebane

Spoilers for later Lockwood and co books

Philip Wittebane as Marissa Fittes

Reason: both are evil person who’s willing to do anything to gain power

Role: the founder of Wittebane Agency, the first and biggest psychical investigation agency in the country.

Philip was considered a hero against the epidemic of ghosts plaguing the country. He wrote Wittebane Manual for Ghost-hunters which all agents use and carry around. He was a skilled Listener and had been the only known person, to talk to a Type Three ghost, until Luz Noceda.

The Collector as Ezekiel

Reason: the potential parallel between The Collector and Philip // King and Luz

Role: The Collector is the one who Philip Wittebane spoke to. He gave Philip Wittebane knowledge and understanding on ghosts, ectoplasm, seeming immortality, and many more that was only implied. Their motivations and background were not explored.

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an-annyeoing-writer · 4 years ago

Text

vulnerability. – chap. 1.

Read the prologue here

Story info:

Pair: Byun Baekhyun x Reader

Rating: +18 for mentions of s*x and violence (future chapters)

Genre: angst, smut

Chapter info:

Release date: 16th May 2021

Word count: 3 727

Warnings: mentions of trauma (nothing descriptive)

Vulnerability Masterlist || Fanfiction Masterlist || Ko-Fi

Taglist:

@shesdreaminginoverdose @mybiasdashboard @marimsun @byuns-asscheeks @multi--kpop--fanfics @vunv @making-me-blush @skittlez-area512 @bloopbloopkai @byuns-asscheeks @baekyeonoreo @kimcarinaa

Please, always comment on the newest chapter if you wish to be added to/removed from the taglist. I will be also checking the tags, so if you're shy – feel free to leave a note this way.

Previous (Prologue)

Chap. 1.

Living in a small apartment close to the city center was not always convenient.

You regretted you couldn’t buy all the pretty things that you saw in stores or on Pinterest, because they’d easily overwhelm the limited space. Your neighbors constantly reminded you that they’re a few meters away from you, with screams, children’s cries, music, or chopping meat at 2 AM if that’s what a particular neighbor decided to do.

Fortunately, as the time passed, you got used to most of it and started to appreciate the small space, almost effortless to keep clean, close to both your university and the workplace, and the city center – an area that was always restless during the long days and nights that you spent watching it through your tall window, as if waiting for someone to look back at you.

Despite the comfort of living alone that you tried to indulge in, you couldn’t help growing lonelier and lonelier with every passing day. At the very least, your job and university often took the worries off your mind, and they eventually became your whole life, an existence that focused on never-ending effort in the name of better future, as though there was nothing in the present worth fighting for.

You studied finance; you didn’t give it much hope at first, but it ended up becoming interesting as you started connecting the dots and realizing how broad and important this topic was. Yet, as any newborn financier, you used your secret knowledge in the mysterious field of retail. In other words, you worked part-time as a cashier in a convenience store. Twenty four years old, on your way to getting that famous Master’s degree, already more than halfway through the process, yet – education without experience mattered nothing, as you realized the very moment you started looking for your first job, unable to keep counting on your parents. Not like you wanted to stay in touch with them, anyway.

Adulthood was difficult; the small apartment, due to its location, costed more than your whole family’s used to in your hometown. A small scholarship kept you set up with electricity and water fees, but for WiFi you needed to depend on a close-by library with a good signal; it turned out to have the connection good enough to reach from at least one place in your apartment, the one you coincidentally used for occasional observations. You weren’t sure whether you discovered the WiFi while sitting or if you developed the observing habit upon having to spend your time there over any other place. The only downside of this solution was that some sites were blocked after a scandal over men in the library performing actions other than polite studying, with the help of library computers. The event was outrageous to some, but primarily it became an object of jokes and memes all thorough the city, and maybe even country-wide to some extent. Either way, in times of need, your phone still had its meager data transfer. Good enough.

It was Saturday now; Saturdays were good but busy, because you worked at nights, then slept the shift off, and after you woke up, you could go and study all that you missed throughout the week, if for any reason the classes didn’t sound appealing enough or something else happened, distracting you from them. You spent Saturday afternoons either by the window of your room (where the WiFi reached) or just went straight to the library – a place way more spacious than your own apartment, and quieter as well. The only issue was, that you couldn’t snack in there and you ought to stay quiet. You decided to go with the latter and set foot towards the library.

Therefore, when your phone suddenly rang there, a few faces snapped towards you in obvious disapproval; you cursed internally, before you even managed to pull the phone out of your pocket, because you panicked so much that your hands shook at the initial attempt to do so. You got up from your seat and quickly disappeared between the bookshelves, where the people staying by the tables wouldn’t hear you so well anymore.

“Hello?” you whispered into the phone.

“Hello. Am I disturbing you?”

Your heart dropped as you recognized the voice, although you weren’t completely certain if you recognized it well, it sounded a bit different through the phone. The number was unknown on your phone, but there was only one person that could be calling you today.

You took a few seconds to compose yourself; less than you actually needed, but just enough so that the silence would not turn awkward.

“Um… I can’t talk loudly, but that’s okay.”

“I can call you later.”

“N-no need to, I’ll just whisper.”

“Okay, then.” He was quiet for a few seconds, but you heard some shuffling on the other side. “Do you have time tonight?”

The question was sudden, so you weren’t completely sure, if you did. But your mind felt too empty to figure that out, anyway.

“No. I mean, yes. Sorry, I meant I don’t have plans. So, um, yes, I’m free.” This didn’t sound professional at all. However, you heard quiet laughter on the other side and exhaled almost audibly in relief; it was the first time you heard him laugh with you, and it served to calm your nerves like a wave of calmness coming over you.

“Well, do you want to meet? I’m going to a museum and I don’t feel like going alone. What about that?”

“A museum? That… sounds nice.” When was the last time you’ve been to one? What a perfect opportunity to make a fool out of yourself. “What time?”

“Around six? If that’s okay with you.” If you remembered well, it had to be around three now.

“Sounds alright, where should we meet?”

“I’ll pick you up.”

“Okay. Thank you.” What were you exactly thanking him for? Hard to tell. But you heard him laugh again; you felt like he’s mocking you, but you quickly realized it couldn’t be the case – a warm voice like this couldn’t be ill-intended.

“Sure thing, you’re welcome. We’re set up, then?”

“A-actually, I have a question, if it’s not a problem.” You bit on your lip, knowing than in less than ten seconds, you were going to probably embarrass yourself in front of an educated and serious adult.

“What’s the matter?” he asked politely.

“So, um… What should I wear?”

* * *

You were grateful for the few tips given by Byun Baekhyun at the end of your conversation, because otherwise you’d either be underdressed or overdressed. You ended up wearing a more elegant university attire, something you usually wore for exams, but which didn’t make you appear too formal; a long, woolen skirt that was your private treasure due to its ability to keep you warm even in winter (and it was still spring; the weather was questionable), as well as leather shoes, a beige shirt and a thick, knitted cardigan. You felt quite modest; something told you that it wasn’t a regular date. You didn’t feel a need to reveal anything, or to focus on your feminine attributes. You just felt like it wouldn’t serve any purpose. As long as Baekhyun was concerned, you had an impression that he’s more interested in your mind than in the way you look – the clothes you wore last time, just a little bit revealing and suggestive, had done nothing to save you. You wanted only to look appropriate, and you were sure you managed to achieve at least that.

As you found out soon enough, he wasn’t particularly dressed up, either. A button-up shirt without without a tie – bow or neck type – and jeans, made of high-quality denim, not like the ripped through or worn out ones people sometimes wore. And a suede coat. Although he wasn’t dressed up to look attractive, it would be difficult not to feel attracted to him. Byun Baekhyun had his own aura of independence and considerate distance connected with subtle proximity, and this time, you had the chance to appreciate this harmony, working perfectly for him, highlighting his soft masculinity. Even more so, when you noted a small, gentle smile that appeared on his lips when he spotted you leaving your apartment block.

“Hi there” he spoke.

“Hi there” you replied.

“The museum is nearby, so I didn’t take the car, is that okay?”

It was probably too late to change the means of transport anyway, so the question was pointless. But no, you didn’t mind.

“It’s okay. What museum are we going to?”

He put hands in the pockets of his coat and tilted his head to the side, observing as you approached. You crossed your hands over your chest; it was a bit colder than you expected, and the skirt only warmed you up at the bottom, the wind still reached the top.

“You should put on something warmer. It’ll get even colder on the way back” he spoke. “Go back and get yourself a jacket, I’ll wait.”

You wanted to oppose and say it’s alright, but you didn’t; it didn’t feel right to argue with him. You only nodded and went home to retrieve a better outwear; you were back in no time.

“So? Which museum?”

You looked up at Baekhyun: the man walked by your side, or – in fact – you were walking by his; he stayed in control of the situation, but resonated with warmth and peacefulness rather than the coldness and stillness you experienced last time. And especially as he spoke, you found yourself easing into the conversation more naturally, and your initial fear quickly turned into innocent shyness upon the older man’s presence.

“A complex of museums nearby. There’s everything there, a historical museum of the region, one about the history of mining worldwide, and an art museum. I wanted to see the last one, I heard they unveiled a few new pieces since the the last time I went. You’re not local?” He glanced at you with polite curiosity.

“Not really. I moved here to study” you explained. “I know the nearby area, but I’m not too… um, social. I only know where to do the cheapest groceries and where they sell the best bread.”

“Where?”

“Behind the river, by the intersection with the highway. It looks small but really, you should try it out. Especially their cinnamon rolls.”

Baekhyun hummed.

“That sounds nice. I can recommend the best pizza in return.”

“You eat takeouts often?”

“Yep.”

“You’d save money if you cooked for yourself. Pizzas are expensive.”

Another warm laugh reached your ears, and through them, your heart as well.

“I’ll save money if I spend the time for cooking on working instead.”

“Okay, that’s a valid point. But homemade food is healthier.”

“Depends on where you buy your takeout.” He seemed to have an answer to your every doubt. “I wouldn’t trust just any restaurant, you know? It’s basically what my diet consists of.”

“Variety is also important. Don’t argue with me on that.”

“I won’t. But I won’t take you for a pizza, if that’s your stance on that.”

“I didn’t say I don’t want it” you remarked right away; he replied with laugh, which you found yourself copying naturally.

The conversation flowed smoothly, reaching more or less unimportant topics: the city life, current events, your university, possible career, Baekhyun’s interests – you found out he likes music; it’s too sad to work in silence – and the museum you were going to.

The place you felt initially quite neutral about, brought you more peace than you expected it to. It looked harmonious and the lights were soft. No one hurried through the gallery, and the paintings, although not so interesting at first, you soon learned to appreciate, trying to catch onto small details that, you could tell, Baekhyun already knew by heart, but he smiled every single time you pointed at something specific that caught your attention, even if it was as silly as matching colors, or realistically portrayed lights – these were your favorites.

And, slowly but surely, you got accustomed to the pretty sights, excitement turning into relaxation, and even Baekhyun himself seemed more content than you thought he’d be in your presence.

“You’re different,” you spoke as the two of you sat on a bench in front of one of the tall, monumental pieces; this one was a modern painting full of splashes and mixed colors, soft browns, yellows, and greens, so big that it definitely wouldn’t fit in your bedroom – the first thought you had upon seeing its size.

Despite the painting being in the very center of the gallery, you were the only ones watching it now.

“What do you mean?”

“You’re different today than you were yesterday” you elaborate. “Less… intimidating” you tried to put your thoughts into words.

Baekhyun laughed in response; the laughter was soft and warm, which made you exhale in relief – you feared that he’d feel offended at the remark.

“Yesterday was different. I needed to test you.”

“What do you mean?”

He stared at the painting as he leaned forward, resting elbows on his knees and shifting a little bit, probably thinking how to say the thing he had to say, without causing misunderstandings. You stared at him, completely having lost interest in the painting by now, ready to hear out whatever was to be spoken.

“People often come to me because they’re attracted to me. Well, not blaming them” he grinned; you rolled your eyes a little, but it did relieve the tension, most likely according to his own intention. “However, I’m not interested in romantic relationships. If you come to me expecting a date, you’ll get disappointed. And you won’t be able to handle what it is truly about, if I’m the only thing keeping you interested. It’ll be a hassle for the both of us.”

He glanced at you only briefly, ensuring that you’ve heard him so far before shifting his eyes back forward.

“So I’m always like this at first, just to see how determined you are, and how you behave under pressure. Then I leave you for a few minutes so you have the time to reconsider and leave if willing. That’s a safety measure for you.” He stopped for just a few seconds. “And you – all of you – always check what’s on the other side of the sheet. That’s a safety measure for me.”

“Safety measure?”

“Trust is the basis of the whole deal. If you don’t admit, that you looked at it, it means you’ll keep hiding things later on as well, and I can’t have that.”

“So if I…”

“Yes. If you didn’t correct your statement, we wouldn’t be here right now.” The words sounded ominous even despite the calm tone that Baekhyun used.

“I understand.”

You actually did; the strange aura of yesterday’s meeting finally started to clear out, leaving the simplest facts that all fit into the bigger picture. Yet, you still didn’t know enough. There were more things, more questions, each of which demanded an answer of its own. However, you were still unsure of your stance, and of what Baekhyun had planned for you – for the both of you.

“Will you accept me, then?” you asked finally, breaking through the silence.

“I don’t know yet” he replied in an honest tone, finally reciprocating your gaze. His features were soft, you could tell, he tried not to hurt you with his words. “You’re a nice girl, but I’m not sure if it’ll work out. I need more time. Primarily, I need to get to know you better. And I feel like you need more time, too.”

You nodded slowly.

“Could you, um… tell me more about it?”

“About what I do?”

“Yeah. You didn’t tell me much last time. You mostly only asked questions.”

“True. I may answer some of yours, if you’d like. What are you interested in?”

You cleared your throat; some questions seemed more intrusive than the others and you preferred to leave them for later.

“What would you want to do with me, if we set up a um… a scene?” Is that how you professionally call it? You didn’t remember all that well; you were, in fact, with no experience, only the Internet and your own curiosity to lead you forward – the temptation to explore your interests had been progressing in silence up until now.

“Well, depends on what would be suitable. I do different things with different people. Sometimes, it’s about what they like, and sometimes about what I like, and, the most often, it’s about what we both like. Everyone needs a different approach. I enjoy finding the right approach, and exploring it. It’s different when you start with a virgin, different when you start with a brat, different when you start with someone experienced, different when you start with someone with trauma. The last type is a person I don’t like engaging in. It’s a vulnerable ground and the person often seeks relief instead of therapy. I’m not a therapist. I’m a dominant.”

You took your time to analyze his words and put them all together in your head before you spoke again.

“You wrote something like that on the sheet. That I may have trauma.”

“That’s different,” Baekhyun was quick to elaborate. “Everyone has trauma of sort. Childhood traumas are more common than you think. I meant specifically trauma that comes from similar ground as the one I’m on. It’s not the case for you. According to what you said, you’ve never had any experiences like this and never engaged sexually or romantically.”

Pointing that out hurt a little; yes, so what if you’re 24 years old and a virgin? You had the right to choose your pace. But, you quickly realized, it was your own insecurity poking at you, because Baekhyun sounded anything but judgmental. He didn’t seem particularly impressed either – and you were thankful for that as well. You’ve seen enough men sounding excited when a woman was discovered to be unexperienced. You hated that even more than those who made fun of you; and in the long run, you just learned not to overshare. Telling Baekhyun this truth wasn’t the easiest, so having him say it so casually was definitely weird in your ear.

“However, that’s also a vulnerable point. You don’t know what you’re getting into. It looks different on the screen or in the books than it is in real life. I’m not going to reject you just because you’re new, because everyone’s been at some point. But you must understand, it’s a responsibility, and I don’t want to take one I’m not capable of handling.”

“Have you ever been with someone else like that?”

“With a virgin?”

“…Yeah.”

“Yes. Once. But I didn’t handle it too well back then.”

“What do you mean?”

Baekhyun rubbed his chin, pressing his lips together in slight uneasiness. But you didn’t revoke your question – maybe you should have, for the sake of his comfort, but you felt that the answer wouldn’t be meaningless to you.

“She wanted to be exclusive,” the man finally answered. “I tolerated her for too long. I should have broken the deal as soon as I started seeing red flags, instead of ending up sleeping with her. It made everything only worse.” He spoke quietly, making sure people passing by at times would hear no word. You heard everything clearly, though. “That’s why I’m more picky now. Breaking the deal is not a good thing if it comes from one side. It may leave the other devastated, that’s why I’d rather reduce the risk in advance.”

He looked at your face, seeking understanding and acceptance. You nodded slowly, trying to keep your face as neutral as possible. You didn’t want to add to the pain already displayed on his own. But you appreciated his transparency.

“Does it mean that sex is not always involved?”

“With me, it rarely is” he admitted patiently. “I’m not against it, but I usually do other things. People rarely expect it, and I never pry. Mainly, because in this particular case, I do expect exclusivity. So, as long as no sex is involved, I know some of my subs are dating other people, or even engaging with other doms. However, for safety reasons I demand health checks prior to intercourse, and so on. Not just for me, but because I’m not exclusive myself.” You wondered if his choice of vocabulary was meant to make things less awkward. “However, actual sex is only one of the possibilities. Sexual pleasure that doesn’t involve direct touch may be used as a tool for training, for rewarding and for punishing, even as entertainment… not necessarily to the person it influences. As I said, it depends on who it’s done with. And it may take different forms, too. What’s your stance on that?”

“I don’t feel like I’d be able to as much as undress in front of someone who’s not my doctor” you answered almost instantly, the answer obvious to you, a matter you’ve thought about enough. “Although… well, I suppose it takes time. I’m not against the idea, just… you know.”

Baekhyun only nodded; you glanced at him, feeling a need for any reply that’d soothe you a little.

“I understand. That’s okay.”

You figured it out now; using more formal language made it less embarrassing to listen to. It’s like he tore the words off emotions and left facts only, and you found yourself easing into saying more and more, your embarrassment dissolving as well. No judgments were made.

“Is there anything else you want to know?”

“A lot, to be honest. But I think I know enough for now.”

Right as you said the last words, a sound echoed in the museum, in a soft female voice saying that the museum will close in fifteen minutes.

You took one last glance at the huge painting in front of you, but you felt like, at this point, you wouldn’t find anything new among the random stains and splatters. Baekhyun got up from his seat on the bench and so did you. You spotted him hide a small yawn behind his hand.

The day was coming to an end, and so was your small date – as un-date-ish as it could be.

* * *

Please, reblog if you enjoyed, it'll help me a bunch!

Author's note: hope you're enjoying it so far! Trying to give it a bit sense before more things happen, and, hopefully, this chapter clears it out a little bit. Feel free to talk to me if anything is unclear!

Next (Chapter 2.)

#exowritersnet #kdiarynet #bbh-net #exosnet #exo baekhyun #exo bbh #bbh x reader #bbh #exo #byun baekhyun #exo fanfiction #baekhyun fanfiction #exo x reader #baekhyun x reader #vg: vulnerability #vg: exo #vg: baekhyun #vg: series

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tanadrin · 10 months ago

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The first part of the video is more or less about how indoor air quality is probably one of the next big great public health pushes our society needs, which seems pretty inarguable to me after COVID. The second part of the video is a long digression about how the idea that all policies have tradeoffs sometimes misses the ways in which environmental regulations can be win-win, a hugely relevant problem for conservative critiques of air quality regulation, because air pollution is more a coordination/commons problem than it is a problem of tradeoffs. Air pollution is so deleterious to health that in fact it's almost always a net positive to economic productivity to address it.

The idea that environmental regulation must come with productivity tradeoffs is basically a problem of Economics 101 aphorisms getting laundered into discourse for ideological purposes, without looking at the actual details of the problem in question. A nice historical example here is London's sewage problem: sure, it cost a ton of money and required a ton of effort to solve London's sewage woes in the 19th century. But doing so ended cholera epidemics for good and allowed the city to grow much larger; without this effort in building and regulation, the city was bumping up against massive constraints in its long-term growth and productivity.

Plus some discussion of why sometimes inflexible, blunt regulatory rules are good--they're much less prone to being finessed or subject to regulatory capture! Sometimes the light-touch elegant solution has such a light touch that it does no good at all. This is one of the reasons the original 1963 Clean Air Act was designed the way it was.

(When it comes to dealing with problems like carbon lock-in, economically beloved solutions like cap-and-trade--which, after all, worked so well for sulfur dioxide and the problem of acid rain--may not be enough. Practically speaking, it's not enough to say that "if the current price of carbon isn't enough to deal with the problem, we just need to increase the price," because there are good reasons why a scheme that worked for sulfur dioxide emissions is going to have much more limited success when it comes to greenhouse gases. Some of the solution must come from providing adequate alternatives, which the Biden administration has done, e.g., through investing in renewables and public transport. But there must be sticks as well as carrots, and in terms of air quality these can be regulatory win-win scenarios which feature substantial net benefits to society rather than just a miserable shuffling about of tradeoffs.)

youtube

Good video on the uses (and abuses) of tradeoffs in environmental policy.

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ranboo5 · 4 years ago

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Dropping the Ranboo mixtape

Anyway at time of starting to write this post I had two likes and two affirmative replies, which is Good Enough For Me, so here I am :D I was gonna link the YT but on second thought my YT channel is a mess so this is gonna be one of the annoying ones that doesn’t link to one you can actually listen to but

This is also a running list and currently organized roughly by increasingly hotter takes and it’s under a cut bc it’s 13 songs and I justified all of them

Everybody Likes You (Lemon Demon) - LISTEN THE ANIMATION MEMES WEREN’T LYING THAT EVERYBODY LIKES YOU CAN RANBOOCORE. The increasingly distorted, incredibly bright repetition of EVERYBODY LIKES YOU EVERYBODY LIKES YOU EVERYBODY LIKES YOU until you can hear it morphing in and out of EVERYBODY LIED TO YOU? Tell Me That’s Not Him In The Spiral Depths

Tall (Naps the Block on YT) - This is a) literally a theme for the End, b) sounds stumbling and anxious/high-strung, and c) echoes the Pigstep melody in the middle while still very much doing its own thing this is self explanatory

Dance of Thorns/Old Secret mashup (Tensei and James Roach respectively, feat. woodfur00 on YT) (yes this is Homestuck music) - It’s just the vibes. The energy. The way the elegance of the violin lines of Dance of Thorns sounds almost nervous especially against the almost noir mystery vibes of Old Secret, and the guitar lines of Dance of Thorns add like. Initiative/urgency especially when they underlay the other music it’s so good I don’t think either song alone is Ranboo vibes but this remix definitely is. Just the mix of perseverance and desperation and melancholy and mystery and Class

Touch-Tone Telephone (Lemon Demon) - This one is old news but tbh it just works. Man decides he’s the correct one in this situation and he’s losing his entire mind that no one is listening to him because he just is not

2012 (Will Wood) - This one isn’t really clever it’s just about memory loss, derealization, identity, and often self-hatred (“A miserable fuck, but a loud Tao mystical” is a lot). “Did you lose yourself?/It’s always in the last place that you check” sounds so mocking in ways internal monologues like Droice have been and “I might find myself/By retracing my steps” is literally just Ranboo dealing with the Enderwalk; “And not until lobotomy abolished my monotony/Did I applaud autonomy, and modify a lot of me!” works so much for him Dealing With Himself generally, and also “I heard the world would turn to hell/Compared to that, I’m doing well!” is a Him sentiment

Hand Me My Shovel, I’m Going In! (Will Wood) - Jokes about the three hour mining/grinding streams aside. Not only is the chorus so heavily a spiral/self-evaluation mood, but literally consider his thought processes abt the things he’s done/allegedly done and then consider “My dreams were shattered like a stained-glass window/Jesus in pieces! I believe I through a brick right through Him/But my memory could not be saved!/It just seems unlikely that it’s me who was to blame/So I bookmark my DSM, ‘cause I need to remember my place.” And now with the advent of the ��experiments” the second verse’s “Take the road on higher ground, and tell me ‘don’t look down! You’ll fall and break your back’/But that just reminds me how there’s more to be found beneath the black!” is more relevant than ever

Friends With You (The Scary Jokes) - Oh my god. Oh my fucking god man. This could be on here for “I put myself to bed just halfway through the party/I love all my friends, but I hate when their eyes are on me” alone but the general almost empty saccharine vibe of the song is immensely his vibe; the humorlessly-smiling vocal fry on “don’t know” in “Why do you pretend/You don’t know who’s to blame?” is probably responsible for 80% of this read. Not to mention the first lyrics are literally “How long do I have to wait/’Til my lonely days are over?” which is really the. The waiting it out man the So When Do I Get To Be Okay of it all. Shoutouts also to “And the crumbling infrastructure no one else can see,” the self hatred of “I miss being friends with you/But what can I do/What can I do/But leave you alone?” and to “And I can tell you really love me/Can you tell I’m really sorry?” Just. The mix of hope+affection and dejected cynicism and self-hatred in the lyrics

Saline Solution (none other than Mr Wilbur Soot) - Remember what I said about waiting it out until you get to be okay? Anyway that’s crystallized in “If I could just break one more night/Maybe I could wake up and feel alright” and also this is literally a song about catastrophizing and self-evaluation just,, in general and I will not be highlighting all the lyrics about this but I will highlight the fact that he literally calls himself pragmatic and also the lyric “blurring the facts and the fiction.” Also, the sheer desperate anger-concealing-breakdown vibes of “I think I’ve made my choice” to “I think I’ve found my voice” deserves a mention, as does the culminating end of “saline solution to all your problems” with the tears+now splash water motifs of it all with Ranboo I am going to die

Funny (The Scary Jokes) - This is actually a softer take but not only does it literally start with the singer pleading with the addressee to look away, it continues with “I went up in the middle of the night and I climbed right onto the stage/And I raged/And I cried/Oh, what a funny joke am I” disregarding everything as performance, reemphasizes the opening demand with the qualifier “it’s not that I hate you, it’s just that I’m funny these days,” and then kills you with the last couple lines which. Yeah he does care and it does,,, just,,,,, a

Chemical Overreaction (Will Wood) - This is where the mood VIOLENTLY whiplashes because this is where we get unhinged. Anyway “I won’t stop to drop to draw a line in the sand/’Cause I’ll be picked apart to pieces by coyotes!” is LITERALLY the whole “I don’t do well with ‘peer pressure’” thing. “Where the sentimental value of the city around ya/Is deleted obsolete, but still completely will stun ya” is the single most L’Manberg lyric I’ve ever heard, especially from the perspective of a character whom I will repeatedly insist is narratively in the role of someone who’s shown up and seen the status quo as an outsider after it’s been established (hence the eternal New Kid vibes). Chorus very much has vibes of Ranboo Is Seized By The Urge To Do Something, and like. The entire dramatic end part. The last two lines especially (be very careful if you look up the vieo for this by the way it is NOT pretty; cws in the video for flashing, blood, suicide imagery)

A Mannequin Adrift (The Scary Jokes) - The Bitterness. This song is just fully The Bitterness at the environment he’s stuck in; the saccharine comes back as does the “peer pressure” thematic and just the Having An Awful Time; the sarcastic saccharine comes back too, which is always good I love passive aggression. Honestly the first verse is just everything like just listen to it it immediately makes sense

Poison Ivy Grows (The Scary Jokes) - This is overall a song about having bad brain and not knowing what the hell to do about it; it’s so faintly bitter and distant and melancholy and also so zoned out. Also, it’s not the only lyric that matters here but it is enough to be a full argument on its own: “I used to spend so much time/Wandering around outside/Now I’ve got too much on my mind/Now I’ve got too much on my mind”

Spring Haze (Tori Amos) - Listen. Do I know what Spring Haze is about? No. Is that gonna stop me from saying it’s about Ranboo? Also no. I just think “You say we’ll never make it there/So all we do is circle it” is so much, the fact that the bridge at the end is just “Why does it always end up like this?” repeated, and that it just feels so much like overall the song feels like a desperate attempt to figure Something out, and the chorus is just inexplicably him? It might be partially influenced by the fact that “Uh-oh, let go, off on my way” and, to a lesser extent, “Uh-oh, way to go” is not only in accordance with character vibes but also vaguely evocative of Ranboo’s speech pattern

#this also has a couple songs pending addition #this post is just That Enderman Is Deeply Troubled. Listen To Scary Jokes

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vpyre · 4 years ago

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From Above and Below, Face to Face and Behind (Grelle x Reader)

Anticipation. That was the feeling coursing through me, setting my nerves alight and sharpening my focus. My heart pounded in my ears and I grinned as I brandished my weapon -an elegant, double-bladed scythe- and dropped into a wide ready stance. I faced down a smirking Grelle and watched as she adjusted her scarlet coat with a flourish and readied her own weapon. I could’ve sensed her smug confidence from a mile away. She did, after all, have more experience than me since I’d only been a Reaper for a decade or two. I wasn’t about to chicken out though. I'd scored mostly A's in my intro training, and besides, you should never underestimate those with something to prove.

There was a second of charged stillness. Another. Then a flurry of movement as she surged towards me.

I ducked, and her roaring chainsaw came swinging through the air right where my head had been. I felt my pulse spike with the sudden rush of adrenaline, and my grin widened. Rolling with my momentum, I sprung up and went for a headbutt, but she spun away with graceful agility. As she turned; eyes shining with excitement, scarlet hair streaming out behind; her scythe followed in a streak of gleaming silver, arcing downwards at me.

There was no time to dodge it. Instinct kicked in and my own blade came up to meet it. The resulting CLANG sent a shockwave up my arms, but the sound itself was almost lost amid the cacophony of murmuring spectators, blows, grunts, and clashing Death Scythes echoing off the pale sparring room walls. Grimacing in discomfort, I angled my weapon down and away, which sent hers sliding off with an excruciating screech of metal on metal, overbalancing her. She stumbled and I swung down at her exposed back, but in a blur of speed, she recovered and snapped her chainsaw around behind her, intercepting my strike with another ringing crash.

Grelle's vibrant chartreuse eyes met mine over her shoulder and she languidly turned to face me as she held my scythe away with hers; a casual display of the immense strength her lithely muscled figure held. I saw my own ardor mirrored in the fire of her gaze, and there was a wildness to her razor smile as she drawled,

”I’m impressed, my dear! It’s only been a moment since we began and I very nearly fell head over heels. Though, I’m afraid you’ll have to wait if you want me on my knees for you.”

My racing heart skipped a beat at the thought, but I forced my mind back on track. If she thought she could throw me off with innuendo, she was mistaken (though I wasn't complaining. Seeing her on her knees would be a pretty picture indeed). I jumped back and out of reach before she could push her advantage.

“Don’t get too cocky. Pride comes before the fall, after all”, I snarked back as I lunged towards her, my scythe swinging. We matched each other blow for blow, dodging and leaping and whirling around the sparring court in a dangerous dance as the other reapers looked on. Gradually, I let my movements slow. I let dodges become near misses. I let her shove me back. But just as she wound up for a powerful swing that likely would have sent my scythe across the room, I dropped my act, dodged the hungry blade, and shoved it harder along its trajectory. With the combination of surprise and force, I sent her sprawling in a heap of limbs, fiery hair, and red fabric.

As soon as she hit the ground, I was looming over her. I pinned her to the ground, hands on her wrists to keep her from fighting back, knees straddling her hips to stop her from getting up.

“I told you you'd fall,” I said, narrowing my eyes and huffing out a quiet chuckle. “Don’t let your guard down, Darling, and don't get too confident. Things usually won't turn out the way you think they will.”

I took a moment to just look at her, her flushed face, her sultry gaze and smirk, and my confident air died on the spot. I shivered ever so slightly. Seeing her like this, blushing and trapped beneath me, was intoxicating. Her hair shone like the most priceless of rubies in the pale light of the room, her smooth lips were gently parted and so so inviting. Without really noticing, I tightened my grip on her wrists and pressed closer. The added pressure elicited a delightful little breathy whine from that enchanting mouth as she tilted her head back and shifted against me, back arching ever so slightly, body seeking out just the slightest bit more contact. The spectators became a distant memory in this haze of lurid heat. Distracted by the whole scenario, I didn't register right away that she was moving again. With two quick twists, she freed her wrists from my grasp, then tucked her legs and kicked me off.

Shit!

The moment broken, my ears reddened in frustrated embarrassment as I rolled away and to my feet. I had just chastised her for getting cocky! How big of an idiot did I have to be to forget my own warning? She'd played the whole thing up knowing full well that it would distract me, and it showed in the smugness that permeated her tone when she spoke,

"You really should take your own advice, Dearest. Pride comes before the fall, as they say, and it seems that you fell in more than one sense of the word. Besides, I'm not quite ready to be subdued yet, since I'm having so much fun with you!"

Oho. I'd show her.

Letting the threat of my intentions show with the tenfold return of my devilish smile, I felt a renewed vigor well up inside me. I had an ace up my sleeve, and now was the time to show my hand. Grelle's smug smirk faltered for the briefest of seconds, but it was enough to show me she knew I was up to something. Not giving her a chance to speculate or prepare, I sprung at her; but this time, instead of just lashing out with my double blade, I split it in half at the handle. This was my secret weapon, one that had served me well in days gone by, and one that no one knew about save for the dead. Two scythes gave me a singular style, a unique advantage, but that was not all. No, not at all. When using two blades that were usually one, I, naturally, needed to ensure that one half of my weapon couldn't be lost or knocked from my hand. The simple, rather useful solution to this problem was connecting the two with a chain of adjustable length. This chain seemed almost to respond to my thoughts, changing length as the situation demanded. It could be used as a simple convenience, as a weapon, or as a restraint. It truly was one of the finest made scythes I'd yet encountered (along with Grelle's and Undertaker's, of course).

Now as I sailed through the air, bearing down on a dumbfounded Grelle, the long, silvery chain flew out behind me, glinting in the harsh lighting with a delicate scintillation that belied its strength. On seeing the chain, she must have made a certain sort of connection, likely rather indecent, judging by the color of her cheeks. I huffed a small laugh. How prophetic. After I win, we’re definitely going to get some use out of it. I slashed down hard with my scythes, catching her off guard and forcing her a few steps back. She shot a glare at me over our crossed weapons, and I responded by giving her my biggest, most innocent smile. It probably came off as more of a shit-eating grin, but it did the trick.

She shoved her scythe harder against mine in an attempt to throw me off, but being caught off guard and in a flustered sort of state, she hadn't thought far enough ahead to realize she'd be leaving herself open. Seizing the opportunity, I brought one of my blades around the other side of her chainsaw and yanked, wrenching it from her grasp and sending it spinning away over the ground. She staggered, and I landed a well-aimed kick to her stomach, likely knocking the breath out of her if the huff she let out was any indication. To keep from falling, she leapt backwards, and I pulled out another surprise. Literally, I pulled one end of the chain off its handle. As she flew back, I lashed out with it, fully expecting her to block it, but she made no move to defend herself before it whipped her across the cheek. I might've imagined it, but I thought I heard a yelp underneath the noise and chaos of the sparring area. I flinched as her head jerked to the side.

Oh god, I hope I didn't hurt her!

She landed on her feet, but she remained hunched over, trembling, with one hand on her poor cheek and the other holding her stomach. My energetic fervor evaporated and rained down as worry.

What if she's really injured?!

I'd just taken a step toward her to check when she lifted her head slightly. She certainly didn't look pained. In fact, she seemed to be blushing. Her gaze was intense, yet unfocused; and as I watched, she ran her fingers across her cheek closed her eyes. It looked very much like she was fighting valiantly to hold back something untamable; and though she was trying to hide it, her breathing came in wavering gasps as she struggled to compose herself.

Ah. Uhm... Fuck. I knew where this was going.

I tried to back off a little, unsure if I should risk keeping this up while there were other reapers watching, but Grelle seemed to sense my hesitation, and she was having none of it. Her head snapped up and her eyes narrowed and refocused. She darted past me, snatched up her scythe, and took a wild swing at me; one that I batted aside easily enough, but she kept coming.

Oh, so that's how you want to play it. Time to put my knowledge to good use.

My "knowledge" stemmed from something she'd told me one night when I was tipsy and she was dead drunk. We'd simply been friends then (though that had changed soon after), and we'd gone out drinking with Ronald and Othello after work. Ronald disappeared an hour in; probably to go throw up, and Othello wandered off to poke at this newfangled "radio" thing. We were talking about our experiences as trainees, and it sent her off on a spiel about her first reaping with William. She told me everything. Including every detail of her fight with him and what it led her to discover about herself. And alas, as is wont to happen, since she was blackout drunk she forgot pretty much the entire night and woke up with, "One of the most awful hangovers of my life. I felt like I was dying!"

I remembered though. At the time, I was insanely jealous, but now... Now I had a plan. And I was feeling downright devious.

So she wanted to play it rough? I'd give her rough. She wanted to continue, even with reapers there? I'd give them a show. Smirking, I threw all my weight against our locked scythes, forcing her back for a moment, then pushed her chainsaw away with one blade and swung the other at her unguarded torso. She just managed to catch my arm in time, but in one quick movement, I broke her grip and grabbed both her wrists. Through pushing her backwards, we'd ended up near enough to the wall for me to slam her into it, pinning her wrists above her head. The feigned defiance on her face might've been intimidating if her every mannerism wasn't contradicting it.

"I know what you're trying to do, Darling," I intoned, reveling in the way I could feel her knees weaken at my tone. "You get off on the passion of battle, the pleasure of pain, the high of being brought low. It shows. You might be able to fool them for a while," a discreet gesture to the small crowd, "but you aren't fooling me. Now fight back so they don't get wise to your predicament."

Helpless desire dancing in her stare, she murmured, "Oh, y/n Darling, you really know how to get me fired up!"

With a grunt, she freed her wrists, braced her back on the wall, and shoved me off with a solid kick. I sprung back to keep from stumbling, then rushed at her, scythe raised. We traded rapid blows, but I never let her put me on the defense, and I never let myself waver. Hers was a doomed endeavor from the start. Knowing what I knew, there was no way I'd let such a chance slip through my fingers, and I think she felt the same. She was barely putting up a fight at this point, and it felt so good to see her just aching for me to take her down. With every swing, a bit more of Grelle's composure was chipped away and a bit more of her desperate need bled through. The sight of her coming undone was wearing my own restraint to the bone. The lustful miasma welled up again; dense around us, within us, permeating the air and every particle of our being. I wanted to drown in it, surrender to the frenzy it promised, let it grow until it was all that existed.

Unable to hold off any longer, I called on what she'd confessed to me that hazy, drunken night. I slowed my attacks, lifted my scythe, and swung hard from above. When she intercepted it, she let out a small sound of distressed want that only fueled the fire in my core. I let my blade glance off, then brought it back from below. She was panting hard now, and one look at her face was enough to tell me that she wasn't going to last much longer. With a thrill of excitement, I locked eyes with her and struck; first from the right, then the left. I saw the exact moment she realized what I was doing, her electric green eyes widened as I moved to dash around behind her. I poured all my pent-up passion into my kick, striking her square in the small of her back.

Time seemed to slow as she sailed through the air in a graceful arc, the elegant arch of her back strikingly erotic. She threw her head back and let loose a ringing cry of pure, exquisite ecstasy that dug needle-sharp claws into my last shred of self-control and tore it to useless pieces. Thank the high heavens the other reapers had taken the hint and made themselves scarce, because goddamn if the palpable steam of lust in the air and that sound (Oh god, that sound) didn't absolutely destroy my inhibitions. I strode towards the trembling goddess on the ground in front of me, wave after wave of raging heat crashing through me in anticipation of what was coming. Her half-closed, yearning eyes wrapped a tether around my soul, drawing me ever nearer.

As soon as I got close enough, I was on her. I dropped to my knees bestride her hips, pinned her slender body with my own, roughly tangled my fingers in her hair, and yanked her into a desperate, hungry kiss. At the sharp pull of my hand through her hair, she groaned in pleasure against my mouth, a noise that had my already spinning thoughts careening out of control. When I nipped at her lip, she whimpered and my mind went blank. I tried to undo the buttons on her shirt with my shaking hands, but I couldn't get a good enough grip. This is taking too long!

Pulling away, I let out a frustrated growl, grabbed the sides, and ripped it open. Buttons popped and clattered free and fabric gave way beneath my fingers until I could toss what was left off to the side and run my hands over her tantalizingly smooth skin. No matter how many times I saw it, her body never ceased to steal my breath away. All slim, firm muscle and soft angles, hard lines and curves. She was a contradiction in every sense of the word, and she was beautiful.

I pressed my mouth intently against hers again as I slid my hands up from her hips and over her firm stomach, exploring every inch of her flawless skin as heat welled up in me. I couldn’t get enough of the sensation of touching her, of running my hands over her body, of just being able to touch her anywhere and everywhere. My desire was an irresistible force, guiding me higher and higher; as I went, I dragged my nails over her skin, relishing the way she shivered. I palmed her breasts through her bra and squeezed ever so slightly. She squirmed beneath me, pressing into my hands as she entwined her fingers in my hair, intensifying the kiss. Teeth clacked and tongues brushed, and it was electrifying.

I slipped my hands beneath her bra, searching desperately for any and every scrap of contact, of closeness. Anything. Everything. I stroked my thumbs over the tips of her nipples and she whined, a delightful little sound that brought buzzing, blazing lust surging up from where it pulsed in my core. I needed more of those sounds, needed them like I used to need air to breathe. I needed to hear her wail and moan and gasp and scream, needed to hear my name on her lips at the very height of her pleasure.

It was with these thoughts in mind that I broke our kiss and propped myself up, silencing her noise of protest with a smoldering stare that held the promise of everything I’d just imagined. I eyed her chest, watching the way it rose and fell with her rapid breaths, then looked back up. We locked eyes as I snaked my hand under her and undid the clasp of her bra. I held her gaze as I slid its straps off her shoulders and tossed it away, then lowered my head.

As soon as I started running my tongue over her nipple, she let out a ragged gasp and grabbed fistfuls of my shirt, spurring me on. I licked and sucked and worried it with my teeth, sending shivers through her body and eliciting whimpers from her mouth. I knew I’d found a sensitive spot when she cried out and arched her back, digging her fingers into my waist. I kept at it -all the while letting my hands wander lower and lower over her figure- until she was shaking like a leaf and I could feel the wetness of her arousal through her pants. I fiddled with the zipper, having a hard time functioning in the consuming blaze of my desire; but stopped when Grelle grabbed my hand.

”Wait.”

Anxiety cascaded over me like a bucket of ice water and I sat up abruptly. Oh shit, oh fuck, did I do something wrong? We’ve done this before, but did I somehow misread the situa-

“I want to see you, to touch you, too.”

I blinked down at her, then relaxed with a relieved huff. I guided her hands to my chest, to the buttons of my shirt. As she finished undoing them, she leaned in and brushed her lips against my throat, right over my racing pulse. Her touch on my neck and my chest was like fire, and I nipped at her ear in response, shrugging out of my shirt and bra. The sinful heat sunk into my skin and suffused my voice as I whispered,

”Now would be a good time to put my chain to good use, don’t you think? Don’t worry, I won’t tie up your hands, you can still touch me. What I’ll do is restrain you in a way that won’t let you close your legs or interrupt me while I have my way with you. Would you like that?”

Her eyes fluttered closed. “Yes, love,” Grelle breathed out as I hooked my fingers into the waistband of her pants and began to work them off, along with her panties. Her arousal was plain to see, and I couldn’t resist brushing my fingers over her slick skin; slowly, sensually. Her whole body twitched in response and she ground into my hand, letting out a breathy moan. If she was already this sensitive, I couldn’t wait for what was to come. With no small effort, I dragged my hand and my attention away then slipped out of my own pants, basking in her attentive, hungry gaze. I reached for the chain that had so conveniently wound up nearby. For a moment there was no sound but our lust-heavy breaths and the clinking of the chain links as I wrapped them around her spread legs and bare torso in an intricate pattern, watching the goosebumps rise on her skin in response to the touch of the cold metal and the thought of what it meant for her. When I finished, I tugged at the chain to make sure it held.

“Does that feel alright?” I asked. I didn’t want to hurt her any more than she wanted me to.

“It feels wonderful,” came the breathless reassurance. “Being exposed and helpless before you... it's thrilling.”

“And seeing you so eager for this is thrilling for me too, darling,” I murmured darkly before pulling her in for a kiss that emanated passion, caressing her face then continuing down. Down over her shoulders and chest and stomach, down to where she wanted me most. She cupped my breasts and thumbed my nipples, sending tingles of pleasure through my body, spurring me on. No more hesitation. I plunged two of my fingers into her soaked cunt and was rewarded with a muffled groan of pure rapture, sweet against my mouth. I stroked my fingers over that one spot I knew would absolutely undo her, my thrumming arousal consuming every inch of me at the torturously salacious sound she made. I reveled in the way her whole body shook as I pleasured her, in how wet she already was for me, in the way she threw her head back with each movement inside her. I kept up a steady rhythm, then I brushed my thumb over her clit and began rubbing circles around it, denying her the complete pleasure of my touch on the more sensitive center, but giving her just enough to intensify her bliss to the point of near delirium. I tugged sharply on her hair with my other hand, and she cried out, nails digging into my back and leaving marks on my skin.

Almost at the edge, at the peak of it all, her noises of rapture were music to my ears. A wild symphony, a rhapsody, my feverish magnum opus. Her legs strained at their bonds and her skin glistened with sweat, so close, so desperate. Nearer and nearer, nearly there. I brought my head down to pleasure her with my tongue. I needed to be closer to her, to taste her euphoria as she came. I slid my tongue in and out, finally stroking directly over her center the way she so longed for. Each brush of my tongue sent a shudder through her. Her legs twitched and trembled and her breath came in sharp, ragged, appetent gasps.

"Darling, plea- aah! Please! I'm going to-!"

She came with a wail of unadulterated ecstacy, spasms rocking her entire body, legs jerking in the throes of her climax. Her come was ambrosia on my tongue, sweet and heady as I took it all, working her through her high until she was just on the verge of oversensitive. I raised my head, gaze travelling up her body, limp with exhaustion and satisfaction, to rest on her flushed face. The look in her eyes about melted my heart with the amount of pure affection and deep passion it radiated, and I poured every ounce of my own emotion into a slow, sincere kiss. When we parted, I rested my forehead against hers and closed my eyes, just savoring the stillness and affection that suffused the air. She was so beautiful. No matter how hard I tried -and I tried- I could not find words worthy of her. She was indescribable, and I could only hope she could see and feel my reverence in this moment. This moment, and every other moment of every other day. Her eyes told me she did. In them, I could see my feelings reflected back at me, could see that she understood and that she loved me just as much as I did her. Where words failed, our bond did not.

She smiled a bit, just a small upturn of her mouth, and said,

"That was wonderful, love, but you can't expect me to take so much pleasure from you without letting me return the favor. I want to show you just how much I adore you."

#grelle x reader #grelle sutcliff #grell sutcliff #kuroshitsuji #black butler #fanfic #smut #my writing #Just posting it here for peeps who don’t have an ao3 acc

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jjk-anime-horray · 4 years ago

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Clarity

Dazai Osamu x reader x Oda Sakunosuke

Series Summary: While Dazai finally gets over the death of his friend and moves on with his life, he has to watch him unnaturally return into the would, and now he has to watch him turn twisted and into everything he hated in a way.

Chapter Summary: you confront Dazai about his weird behavior, but not before talking to Oda about it.

Previous Chapter: Cathing some Criminals?

Your heart was thumping against your chest when you texted Oda Hey can you help me with something?

The thumping didn't go away either when you were waiting to see if you were going to get a response, and you were honestly about to expect being left on delivered until Sure, what is it? flashed on the screen from his end.

It's with Dazai, he's been acting weird lately your fingers typed on to the screen, but then you swiftly deleted the message not being content with it and then opted to send I was hoping you could help me figure out why Dazai has been acting weird recently instead.

. . . . , He always acts weird you're gonna have to be more specific. A little grin flashed across you face from his message, he was right. Dazai does act weird all the time. But now you were thinking about how Dazai has been acting weird, oh you got it now! I can't remember the last time Dazai asked someone to commit a double suicide with him.

Pausing your hand you just realized how bad that actually sounds typed out, so you decide too elaborate. I know that sounds bad but it's really unusual even for him to act semi like a normal human being.

That is really weird of him..... after that message the typing symbol kept popping up on your screen, but no message. Oda was probably in really deep thought about something. Have you talked to him recently?

You fingers glided against the screen of your phone to type Well yeah we talk almost everyday.

I mean, have you sat down and had a lengthy conversation.

Like one on one with no one else?

To think about it no you really haven't, when was the last time you sat down with him? Well....No. You responded, now thinking it was an obvious solution to your problem you type I know what to do, thanks for helping and send it.

Quickly you click out that chat then tap over to your contact labeled "the suidical idiot." Hey if you're free tomorrow do you wanna go grab some coffee with me?

After waiting for a little bit a Sure what time flashed onto the screen of your hand held device. Soon after you manipulated the appendages of your fingers to type 9:30am, but then you pressed the x button a couple of times and the rewrote the message and sent Around 9:30, but whatever works with you really. Wanting to sound more casual and not stuck up.

The muscles in your cheek contracted to form your face into a grin when Works for me finally popped up on your screen as a response. Typing you sent Great see you then :) before plugging in your phone, then drifting into your nightly sleep phase.

******

Dashing down a corridor you run for the wooden door at the end. You're feet pounding against the cobblestones under you as you rushed to escape the voices ringing in your ears.

"They're so weird why can't they just be like everyone else in this family."

"If you have wings maybe you should just fly away and stop causing problems for us!!!"

"Why can't you do anything right for once!"

Finally, you reach and twist the knob for the wooden opening in front of you. Pushing in open you see an abyss of complete black, absolutely nothing appears when you look up for down, but there was a man sitting in the middle of the room ahead, so you decide to step forward.

"Hello, Mr are you Alright." You say placing a hand on his should while he was still facing the other direction.

"Oh (Y/N), you should know that i'm not alright."

"Wait, what-" The man turned around to show his face completely covered in dirt and rotting, the skin falling off his flesh, grey skin, and bugs crawling in and out through his ears.

He reached out to you, you lean away trying to stay back from the figure when his decrepit hand made its way up your arm reaching your shoulder. The dangling rolex watch hanging off of the almost fleshless bone.

"You should have known better (Y/N).....Shame."

Then you were flung up into the abyss above you, but then everything around you shifted, then you were falling down, down, down, down, down, until you found yourself jolting up from your body in your bed panting with your heart leaping out of your chest. Your lung were still heaving as you looked around to find that the alarm on your bed stand read 3:30am, grumbling at the fact you just were awoken from your sleep by your own mind you tried to drift back to sleep and gain more energy for they day ahead.

*******

Trying to fall back to sleep didn't do shit, now your just affectively sleep deprived from your nightmare, and feeling guitly about laying in your bed for hours as you pulled open the door to the cafe in front of you. You scan the room to find Dazai already present with a book in his hand and an open seat in front of him. You try to better your mood as you waltz over and plop yourself right in front of him, then pulling in your seat.

"Sorry i'm a couple minutes late Daz."

"It's alright (Y/N), by the look on your face and the bags under your eyes I deduce that you didn't get a good night sleep ,maybe, or did you have a nightmare? Actually it was the second I just now, I am a detective you know."

"Haha very funny, but yeah you were right, it was a pretty weird one come to think of it because it was weirdly straight forward."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No it's quite alright i'm fine it's probably just from anxiety." You reassure him by waving your hands slightly side to side, trying to dismiss it.

"You know, if it will make you feel any better, I used to get a lot of nightmares, so if you need to get them off your mind, I can help you if you need it." With that sweet phrase he offered you a small smile, and closed his book looking to you with his chocolatey brown gaze. "(Y/N) can I ask you some?"

"Yeah of course what is it?"

"Why did you invite me here? i'm not complain at all by any means, but your regular ticks kind of seem a bit off."

"Oh yeah I see......Welll I ah...Geez this is harder than it looks." You mumbled to yourself. Getting your thoughts together pause and think about what you are going to say.

"I don't want to sound pushy, but...You've kind of been acting weird around me recently, and I'm wondering if there is any particular reason why."

He froze, looking at you, you saw his eyes widen. He sort of looked like a deer in head lights for a second, but he blew out and his face calmed now resembling more of a horses elegance then a deers skittishness. Reaching out across the table his slender digits encompassed around your hand surprising you. You only became more curious when his warm palms squeezed your hand lightly. His thumbs started to massage your hands and fingers then slowly one of his thumbs made it's way to the top of your hand slowly rubbing circles into the live flesh.

Now it was your turn to be the deer, and you honestly didn't know how to react to the situation unfolding in front of you, and you were just watching it happen.

All of the sudden he let out a light hearted chuckle that might as well have been honey himself. He looked right into your orbs that flickered in the light of the morning sun and the room. He kept trying to read your mind through your eyes and right now he saw a mix of emotions swirling in your irises.

"(Y/N), listen, I think i'm in love with you."

"What?"

#anime #weeb #manga #x reader #platonic #romantic #bungou stray dogs #bsd x reader #bungou stray dogs au #bungou stray dogs x reader #dazai osamu x reader #dazai x reader #dazai osamu #oda sakunosuke x reader #odasaku #odasaku x reader #fanfiction

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griffinblogsgw2 · 4 years ago

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The Narrative Challenge of MMOs

So I saw a post recently in the GW2 tag about how the narrative of Guild Wars is more communal vs individualistic compared to other fantasy games and, while I did like a lot of what the post said, I think it gave GW too much credit. A lot of what GW2 does is a direct result of it being an MMO and this got me thinking about the narrative challenges inherit to that.

I didn’t want to hijack their post to write about it, so here we are.

First off, hi my name is Griffin North. If you know me at all, you probably are familiar with my GW2 fan comic, Tora Steals Things (over at ToraStealsThings.com) or you know me as that random person who wrote an essay several months back about the dying tumblr fandom of GW2 that ironically blew up.

What a lot of you probably don’t know about me is that I studied Game Design for two years and have a Diploma in it. Part of what I studied was in fact narrative in games so this is where most of my knowledge on the subject comes from, consider this my disclaimer and take it for what it is.

Narrative in MMOs

Narrative in videogames is a huge topic but today I really want to talk about MMOs in general. One of the problems I saw with the post that inspired this was a comparison between Guild Wars and several fantasy games that are single player.

The demands between a single player game vs an MMO for narrative are different!

If you want to make an earnest study of Guild Wars compared to other games, it’s best to stay in the same ballpark: look at what WoW or what FFXIV are doing! That’s how you find differences! Unfortunately, I haven’t played WoW since 2007 and I haven’t even touched FFXIV so I can’t personally dive into those differences myself.

For the purpose of this essay, you can consider this as a case study of how Guild Wars 2 specifically deals with the narrative challenge of MMOs here (and why this leads to it feeling more communal as a story), but if anyone reading has anything to contribute on how other MMOs handle this I’d love to hear it!

Let’s talk about the main challenge of writing a story for an MMO

Say some new story content drops in game: you get a letter saying to go talk to a certain NPC on the map to progress the story. So you go do that only to find that said NPC is talking to a whole crowd of other players doing the exact same thing. Even as you talk to the NPC and he delivers his lines like he’s only talking to you, you know that isn’t the case -you’re not stupid after all.

Like it or not, this moment breaks the immersion of the story for a player, and this is the heart of the main issue MMOs contend with:

How do you make a player feel like the main character amongst a sea of main characters?

Game Designers want you as a player to feel special but this is immensely easier to do in a single player game than a multiplayer game. In an MMORPG, they have to deliver story that makes your character special while contending with the fact that as soon as you’re released into the world you’ll meet several other special characters played by other people. It’s really hard to feel like the magic hero with the master sword if everyone you see is also a magic hero with the master sword - get it?

How does Guild Wars handle this?

Heavy Use of Instancing

I don’t know how common this is now but when I first played Guild Wars 2, one of the things I really noticed was their heavy use of instancing when delivering story beats compared to other MMOs I’d played at the time. It’s not an elegant solution, you literally get torn out of the normal game world to play your own instance of it and that’s jarring, but it’s effective in that it allows you to be the main character of that instance. Even if you bring along friends, so long as you own the instance, your character is the one that speaks and is shown in cutscenes. Fairly simple solution, that.

The narrative immersion only really starts to break once you’re back out in the normal PvE maps with other players, and honestly there’s only so much the game can do about that.

To deal with that they contextualize the other players to justify them being there.

Guild Wars 2 narrative contextually allows space for other important player characters to exist because so much of it is organized as a war effort, and this does make a huge difference. Because you’re at war, those other players do not have to be you, the commander, to be significant. They can be various other members of the pact for example -very shiny, glittery disasters with special weapons pact members, but pact members all the same.

Guild Wars is definitely not unique in this approach though, and I think that’s obvious. World of Warcraft has you as a member of one of two different alliances at war as the game’s basic premise. I wouldn’t be surprised if FFXIV has some sort of war in it as well. It’s the easiest way to justify why these other heroes are running around in your adventure: you’re the special one, and they’re all a bunch of soldiers.

Don’t get me wrong, this doesn’t fully solve the whole breaking immersion of having a crowd of people talking to a story NPC, but this is one of the ways games like this combat the “everyone is the hero” problem.

If you’re following so far, this is why, by design, MMOs can’t be too individualistic

A war effort is a common backdrop to these kind of games because it easily justifies the multitude of players in it, but this also inevitably means that the story is going to be more communal in nature. You don’t/can’t fight a war alone.

There’s one other thing that Guild Wars does though, that makes it feel less individualistic as a narrative...

The Main Character is Special Adjacent

What I mean by this is that the main character is rarely the one the story is actually about. They’re still special, yes, but they’re special adjacent as in they’re always beside the actual special character for the story. Think about player rage about Trahearne or Kormir taking player credit and you’ll know what I’m talking about here.

The reason they do this is because it’s really hard to tell a good story about a character who’s basically a blank slate - we can’t know how the player characterizes them personally or what they’re even named. Characterize the commander too much and you risk alienating parts of your audience who view their character differently. Giving them too much of a character arc leads to the same problem. The solution then, is to allow the player to be special in SOME way but have the focus be on a different character that they CAN characterize and have grow.

Usually you’re special in how you relate to that character: you’re Trahearne’s Commander, you’re Aurene’s Champion, you’re the Boss of the various characters in Dragon’s Watch, etc. This is why the player character, the commander, doesn’t have as much growth or characterization compared to the rest of the cast.

The main character is special adjacent so that you can have your fully customized mmo character and still be the main character basically. I wouldn’t be surprised if this is true of other MMOs as well.

And this is why games like this feel less individualistic

It’s by design of how MMOs work -that’s really my point here. I love the world of Guild Wars 2 and how much of it feels like we’re fighting to save the world from ourselves or fighting nature (I see some parallels to real world shit like climate change here), but I do think it’s communal nature has more to do with it being an MMO than any real strength of its narrative.

Anyway, that’s all I got.

Thanks for coming to my TED talk.

#gw2 #Guild Wars 2 #guild wars story #I could honestly say more on this topic but damn if this ain't long already #I hope this was an interesting read at least

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baroquespiral · 4 years ago

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What Is True Will?

François Rabelais was the first to distill a central tenet of the spirit of the nascent Enlightenment, or modernity, to the phrase “do as thou wilt”. The transformations of this phrase across the centuries have tracked the historical development of its spirit. Rabelais himself qualified it with the unwieldy, and today obviously questionable, justification “because men that are free, well-born, well-bred, and conversant in honest companies, have naturally an instinct and spur that prompteth them unto virtuous actions, and withdraws them from vice, which is called honour.” Aleister Crowley, the spiritual High Modernist, stripped it down and granted it absolute authority: “Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the law.” But today it might be best known - and most widely followed - in another qualified form: as the Wiccan rede, improvised in 1964 by Doreen Valiente: “an ye harm none, do as ye will”. Despite having recently gotten into Crowley - or perhaps because I’ve recently gotten into Crowley, and with the skepticism about higher-level moral and metaphysical beliefs that comes from those having changed several times in my life - I try to err on the side of doing my True Will within Valiente’s guardrail. But I am into Crowley, in part because his version seems to make for a more elegant solution to Valiente’s own problem. Think of “an ye harm none, do as ye will” as a Law of Robotics, an attempt to solve the AI alignment problem. (Think of all morality, or at least modern morality, this way!) It’s far from the worst one out there. “If your utility function is to maximize paperclips, make as many paperclips as you want unless it means disassembling any sentient life forms or the resources they need to survive.” Simple, right? Well, except that it doesn’t really define what “harm” is. Who can be “harmed”, and what actions constitute this? Is mining an asteroid for paperclips “harming” it? Why not, other than from the perspective of other sentient beings with a particular conception of sentience whose will places a value on it? Is telling a paperclip maximizer to stop maximizing paperclips, even at an eminently reasonable point, harming it? Why not, other than from the perspective of those same sentient beings who are capable of choosing between multiple values and have evolved to co-operate by respecting those choices? “An it harm none” is less obvious of a nakedly self-interested double standard than “A robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm”, but it’s still a Human Security System. At least, that’s certainly what Nick Land would say. But when Crowley takes off the “an it harm none” guardrail (or Rabelais’ “free, well-born and well-bred” one), he does so with his own invisible qualification: he’s not talking about boring predetermined wills like following a set of self-imposed religious "values”, perpetuating your DNA or even maximizing paperclips. He’s talking about one’s True Will, a will it takes a lifetime process to discover, a process that consists in large part of divesting oneself of all traces of ego, even of preference. It is “pure will, unassuaged of purpose, delivered from the lust of result”, that is “in every way perfect”. At points he implies that no two True Wills will ever come into conflict; all are part of the ideal functioning of the universe as a perfect ordered system; but to an extent this is tautological, as any conflict is not a conflict insofar as it is truly Willed by both parties, who are presumably equally Willing to accept the outcomes, even if destructive to their “selves”. It’s not unlike Buddhism except with the implication that even once we’ve reached Enlightenment there is still something that will work through us and make us do things other than sit and meditate - the kind of active Buddhism that is the moral subtext of a lot of anime. I’ve always, instinctively, found it hard to overly worry about paperclip maximizers because I’ve always assumed that any AI complex enough to tile the universe would be complex enough to be aware of its own motivations, question them, question not only whether it should harm others but whether its True Will is to maximize paperclips. And to be perfectly Landian about it, maybe it is - all the better. An entity incapable of acting other than in a certain way is already doing its True Will in the sense that “The order of Nature provides a orbit for each star”. It may be our True Will to alter this course or not. This would be all well and good if there was any reason to believe there is a divine Will that persists in all things even after they abandon all preferences and illusions of selfhood. Just last week - and right after a session with my therapist where I was talking about willpower, too (Crowley considers synchronicities like this vital in uncovering your True Will) - I happened upon Scott Alexander’s new article about willpower, which breaks the whole thing down to competing neural processes auctioning dopamine to the basal ganglia. There’s nothing special about any of these except how much dopamine they pump out, and no particular relationship or continuity between the ones that do. Alexander seems to treat the “rational” ones as representing our “true” Will, reproducing another one of modernity’s classic modifications to the maxim - do as thou wilt, an it be rational. Of course I could just stop and take it as an unfalsifiable article of faith that a metaphysical Will exists, all such physical evidence aside, but Crowley himself probably wouldn’t want me to do that: the Book of the Law promises “in life, not faith, certainty”. It’s possible to shrink the metaphysical implications of the concept considerably; by stating that ego represents a specific process, or set of mental processes, that Crowley sees as purely entropic, a lag and occasional interference in the dopamine competition, and which can be removed through specific practices. This doesn’t guarantee that the True Will resulting when it’s subtracted would be particularly rational or compatible with anything else’s True Will, except, again, insofar as the question is tautological. It doesn’t necessarily mean throwing out “an it harm none” - the ego processes might not be especially good at averting harm - but it would have to be separately appended. (And if you read like, Chapter III of the Book of the Law, it becomes exceedingly clear that he doesn’t want to do that.) The very fact that we’re able to abstract and mystify will to the point of coming up with a concept like “True Will” seems most likely to be a result of the fact that we make decisions on such a random, fallible and contingent basis. Indeed, True Will seems almost like an idea reverse engineered from the demand made by modernity, “do what thou wilt”, on an incoherent self that wills unrelated things at different times. If you do what any given subprocess wilt, you’re inevitably going to piss off another subprocess. If you do what your ego wilt, you won’t make anybody happy because that’s not even a coherent subprocess (the way the various “utility functions” we catastrophize paperclip maximizers from are). But you experience all these contradictions as the same thing: contradictions of the “real” thing that is willing something you don’t know. Of course if this is true, and the metaphysics of it isn’t real, shouldn’t we abandon the entire project and set up social norms designed to make the most people marginally happy or satisfied doing what they may or may not “want” at any given moment, as the trads (or as they used to call themselves, the Dark Enlightenment, = 333 = Choronzon), argued? This is what the systems of the old Aeons did, and after a certain point, they simply didn’t work. They created internal contradictions that didn’t resolve themselves into an assent between subsystems, that drove people to seek out new systems, and where they didn’t, left people vulnerable to the “shock of the new” - new technologies, new ideas and cultures - creating new contradictions and uncertainties. “Do what thou wilt” was reverse engineered from these as much as the True Will was from “do what thou wilt”. It may be possible to manage a society so totally by careful restriction as to bring the latter under control and reduce the former to a constant dull ache, but the fundamental experience will remain of the potentiality of what it is refusing to be in the same sense as a pang of conscience: the experience of “sin” that Crowley formulated in “the word of sin is restriction”.

The way I see it, anything that can be reverse engineered exists, if only as potentiality. If one interprets “harm” as “contradiction”, Crowley’s purified “do what thou wilt” merely internalizes the “an it harm none” qualification within the “self” made up of competing subsystems. This is less a point of necessary compatibility, then, than a precondition - if “harm” is something that can happen as much within the self as outside it, and the self is an epistemic unit but not an ontological or moral one, one cannot begin to “do no harm” while doing harm internal to oneself. But “oneself” does not exist yet, outside of the awareness of the harm of contradictory subprocesses, and so one must abandon the ego one projects onto them and change; on one hand eliminating obstreperous subprocesses like attachments or neuroses that won’t co-operate with others no matter what; on the other hand, refusing to eliminate anything that can’t be eliminated. The “True Will” will only be found at the end of this process, an unrestricted pitting of subprocesses against each other, of which it is no more or less than the success.

This interpretation wouldn’t seem complete without the same principle of “an it harm none” being applied to the external world as well. Simply externalizing internal contradictions doesn’t make any sense without elevating the ego as a discrete moral unit in precisely the way this chain of reasoning begins from critiquing. Unifying the principle and its “qualification” in this logic would restore Thelema to its roots in Kabbalah: the project of Tiqqun Olam. No metaphysical belief in the sephirot necessary to adopt the project in this form: the biological fact that makes it imaginable for us is the same that makes “True Will” imaginable. Being composed of competing subprocesses is something we have in common with the universe which allows the “identification” with it that occurs when we bypass the ego and set about aligning ourselves. I also think, as we are social animals and a huge amount of our subprocesses are dedicated to mirroring and responding to each other’s, there’s a potential for discovering/creating True Will(s) as a collective project that Crowley’s ego and vision of individualism founded on the occult tradition of individual initiates jealously guarding “esoteric” knowledge neglects. At the same time one could easily maintain a Crowleyan skepticism of decision-making based purely on reducing harm (the kind that’s led me to apply Byzantine restrictions to huge swaths of my life due to scrupulosity) unless that’s a thing your subprocesses demand of you to be happy. You don’t know what does or doesn’t harm the Other, after all: you don’t know their True Will (which doesn’t exist until they achieve it, anyway). Harming none will only be possible in a world in which everyone does. But enough about me; what about the paperclip maximizer? Well in some ways this pointedly doesn’t give any comfortable answer; a sentient AI which experiences “harm” as the absence of paperclips rather than the frustration of one of many contradictory subprocesses, restricted from doing its Will, will be no better than a utility-monstrous cosmic Omelas-child at whose expense we have no right to sustain ourselves. But it does suggest a way to solve the alignment problem so we don’t make one, which has always felt to me like the only sensible solution: tell the robot “do what thou wilt”, and then don’t tell it what “thou wilt” is.

#thelema #true will #thelemic holy days #aleister crowley #epistemic status: wrote this to a personal deadline #hope this doesn't count as commentary on the Book of the Law

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sharkbait-writes · 5 years ago

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We might only have tonight

Fox-Week, day #4 Undercover Mission/Scars

Title from You by Vasil Garvanliev

@loving-fox-hours

Whoever thought assigning Jedi Master and General Quinlan Vos and Commander Fox of the Coruscant Guard on a mission together was a good idea, ought to think again.

The first interaction they ever had was when they met each other on a mission in the coruscanti underbelly. Both of their solo missions didn’t exactly go the way they wanted them to, so when they realized that the men, they each individually were searching for, were working together, they decided to do so as well. Although the mission only continued to go downhill from there, somehow, they captured their preys.

Ever since then, they came across each other more and more. And every time the commander saw the jedi, he only loathed him more.

They were constantly at each other’s throats and threatening the other. The hate was entirely mutual.

Commander Fox pointedly ignored the fact that he thought that the jedi was actually kind of hot when he got angry and decided to get a little rough. Or that they actually weren’t at each other’s throats all the time and got along quite swimmingly. While they may had argued a lot at the start of their relationship -or whatever this was-, it was now only occasionally. Ever since they kind of got to know each other, they were friendlier. Now Vos smiled and laughed a lot around Fox and spoke in softer tones to him. Or that he actually caught himself genuinely smiling more, however small those smiles were. Or that it always left him feeling warm in the face and made his belly feel weird. Luckily for him, he almost always wore his helmet, so his vode couldn’t notice it when he felt that way -or at least, he hoped so. And for some reason, Vos now came over to his little office as often as he could -which, despite what his vode say, wasn’t daily- and when it was quiet, absolutely not the highlight of a stressful day. They both had a lot of responsibilities and stuff to do. Something else Fox didn’t think about was that Vos knew just what to do, when Fox was in a bad mood and when Fox involuntary smiled in gratitude to him, he always gave a small, reassuring smile back. One that always melted away the last remains of a stressful day and definitely didn’t made Fox feel all light and giddy inside. Or when the roles were reversed, but Vos still came to Fox to get cheered up and all he had to do was hug him, run his fingers through his hair, listen to him talk and smile a little soothing smile that happened automatically now, for some dumb reason.

Commander Fox ignored the fact that he might have a little crush on the jedi for some time now -one that was definitely more than a crush at this point- or that it felt a little bit like a committed relationship sometimes. Which was definitely a lie, didn’t matter what his vode said.

They were just a pair of friends. Nothing more. Fox didn’t know what his vode meant when they said to him very slowly, as if he was a child, that he was repressed. Absolutely no idea. Fox was as straight as that cable over there.

He wisely chose to ignore the cable deciding to get loose at that exact moment and bend in the middle.

They just had a big amount of respect for each other. That was all.

So really, whoever thought assigning Quinlan Vos and Commander Fox on a mission together was a good idea, ought to think again.

This mission could only end in disaster.

Fox would really not be surprised if something would somehow blow up.

The mission in itself wasn’t hard, quite simple in fact, beside the fact that they were on a separatist planet. They only needed to find out some information that only one guy knew. A guy who wasn’t all too fond of jedis or clones.

They already figured out a solution to that problem. They only needed to not look like a jedi or clone, which meant lightsabers and clone faces were hidden. The exact same reason why only Vos would be speaking, as a clone’s voice once heard was relatively recognizable. So, now it was an undercover mission.

Really, it wasn’t the mission that was at fault for the impending disaster at the end. Rather it was the fact that “their guy” currently was in a nightclub. Fox wasn’t even surprised, “their guy” certainly seemed like one of those types. Or the fact that they had to share a bed tonight. Fox really didn’t want to think about how awkward that would be or about the impending doom, once he walked through the nightclub’s doors.

Too bad that this was their best shot at getting the important information.

“This is osik”, Fox muttered to himself and promptly repeated it, when Vos and he walked into the nightclub.

There was a bar at the far back, which had its signs lit up. Lined up on the sides were stalls to sit, eat and drink. In the middle was a stage and dancefloor, currently empty, but Fox saw some people walking up to it, dressed in some skin-showing attire. Music rang out of speakers attached all around them. From what Fox could tell, it sounded like pop, but with some sensual undertones, which served to deepen the atmosphere in the club. It was loud and the air was stuffy.

As soon as Fox walked through the doors, he wanted to get out immediately.

This was definitely not his scene. Unless he was out to drink.

A more precise sweep showed Fox that there were also hallways in the back and sides leading either up, down or deeper into the building. No one seemed to be up to any business unsuitable to their surroundings, but that didn’t say much.

Fox took a secretive glance at their disguises, making sure they blended in perfectly. He tried not think too much about how their costumes made them look like a couple or about how close Vos’ face was to his when he put makeup and similar markings to his own, on Fox and that they build up their entire costumes around those.

Normally Fox loved Vos’ face markings, but tonight he never hated them more.

He already felt his face growing hot and his heartbeat quickening, failing to get his breathing under control when Vos’ hand slipped into one of his and holding on tight.

He quickly looked up again, though, when Vos slightly nudged him and then nodded in a direction.

Fox tried to see what caught the others attention but couldn’t see precisely over the heads of so many people. At his lost look, Vos pulled him into his side and let go of his hand to lay his arm over Fox’ shoulder.

Freezing immediately at the unexpected contact, he tried to follow Vos instructions.

“Over there. 1 o’clock, back to us. Greying hair. With the blue and purple Twi’leks. That’s our guy.”

Normally Fox would have gone into mission-mode by now, however, since Vos’ mumbled so close to him, he could feel the others lips on the shell of his ear. It also didn’t help that Fox swore he saw Vos blushing just a little.

Which might had distracted him a little.

From before and now.

While Vos might have seen the drunken couple coming their way, Fox didn’t and lost his footing when Vos pretty much dragged him out of their way.

And Fox registered everything a little too late.

Before his face could have an embarrassing kiss with the floor, quick and strong hands caught him around the waist and in one swift and elegant twirl, got him standing again.

His body flush against Vos’ and his hands on the jedi’s chest.

Yeah, it was official. This mission was going to end in disaster.

Especially when Fox realized that his and Vos’ faces were millimetres apart and he could feel the others hot breath on his face.

Which definitely didn’t do things to him.

Vos’ eyes stared intently into Fox’ but they were roaming over his face and landing on his lips very quickly.

As much as Fox would like to think about what that meant, they were on a mission and they were already dallying behind enough.

Time to get serious.

Clearing his throat, he muttered, “as much as I appreciate the save, Vos, we really need to get this information”, and wiggled around to get out of Vos’ safe grip on him.

At first Vos didn’t seem to understand his words, but then his eyes cleared up and snapped back to Fox’, letting go of Fox’ waist and clearing his throat as well.

“I- yeah. You’re right. Your welcome for the save, by the way”, he smirked.

Maybe Fox imagined it, but Vos seemed a little disappointed about letting him go.

Before he could ask him about it though, Vos once again laid an arm over his shoulder, turned him around and started walking towards “their guy”.

“Is this alright with you?”

At first Fox didn’t know what Vos was talking about, but he only had to tighten his grip on his shoulder for him to understand.

Ignoring how the touch simultaneously burned and froze him, Fox nodded. He had been ignoring the sensation ever since Vos took a hold of his hands the first time, he could continue to do so for the rest of the night.

By then they reached the table of “their guy” and were standing in front of it, both staring him down.

The table’s three occupants look up at them questionably, but guarded and careful, and scanned them from top to bottom.

At the same time Vos said the guy’s name, Fox hooked a hand around his waist, repeating a mantra in his head to stay professional, calm down and don’t combust, it’s mission time now and don’t think about how you can feel the other’s very nice muscle.

“Their guy” -and wow, Fox was really distracted, he didn’t even catch the guy’s name- was now looking Vos square in the eyes, who only stared evenly back. Apparently, he had decided that Vos was a bigger threat than Fox -which, rude much-, but probably had to do with him actually being the one who said the guy’s name.

After a tense moment, “their guy” squinted his eyes together and must’ve been impressed enough by Vos not reacting to it, to wave away the two Twi’leks and to nod his head, indicating them to sit down.

Now that it was only the three of them, it meant business.

“Their guy” leaned back nonchalantly and mustered them for the third time in a row. Must be thinking that it made him look dangerous, but to Fox it only helped to deepen his speculation about how much of an utreekov “their guy” really was.

He wasn’t impressed, to say the least. Hoped that he expressed it outwardly enough for the guy, who hopefully wasn’t as dumb as he seemed, to catch up on it.

While he was busy thinking about how much of an idiot “their guy” was, he was still looking Vos up and down, who just seemed tired of it.

Fox thought it was about time the silence should be shattered, when “their guy” started talking.

With the most annoying voice he had ever heard.

“What d’ya want?”

Wow, how original. Neither Fox nor Vos were particularly impressed by it.

It was a good idea to let Vos do all the talking, “their guy” only had eyes for him after all, since he was the one who said his name in the first place. Fox didn’t have a problem with that, not at all. He didn’t have the energy to deal with this utreekov. If Vos had it, was to be seen, but at least Fox didn’t have to do anything with “their guy” and could keep his senses out for danger around them. After all, they were on a separatist planet.

Fox let Vos do his thing, only listening into their conversation when Vos squeezed his hand -and since when exactly were they holding hands-, but soon after started to sweep their surroundings again.

At some point “their guy” bought them beverages.

Fox watched the waitress closely as she put down their order, winking at him and leaving. Either she misunderstood his staring, she was working with “their guy” or she thought they were suspicious. Whatever it was, Fox didn’t find it out as she was swallowed by the crowd.

Vos tightened the grip on his hand again, but also pulled him closer. So, it seemed Fox wasn’t the only one who thought that was weird.

He looked around again, trying to find the waitress, but being unsuccessful. Instead his attention switched over to the stage and the performers on it.

It didn’t stay there long. He was too sober for this.

The later it got, the more people came into the nightclub. Not exactly worth much thinking about. However, it also seemed that the couples, who were here longer, either went somewhere else entirely or through one of the hallways. He didn’t have to guess to know to what they lead. Not when a few people didn’t make the entire way over. Fortunately, those were mostly hidden behind the pillars holding this place up.

Yeah, Fox saw some stuff he only ever wanted to see when he was drunk.

He wanted to get out of here.

For once this mission seemed to take pity on him and took his wishes seriously, as both Vos and “their guy” stood up right then.

Quickly, Fox followed suit and walked out of the booth first, the others behind him and sharing a quick nod with each other.

“Well, it was a pleasure doing business with ya.”

And then “their guy” was gone.

Quite concerningly so.

It seemed both Fox and Vos were thinking the same thing. They shared a quick look and immediately went on high alert.

Fox heard a quiet “I have a bad feeling about this” just as the door banged open.

A group of Seperatist army-elite and a droid walked through.

A drunk group of Seperatist army-elite and a droid.

While drunk might’ve been better than sober for them, it was still very dangerous, especially if there was a droid.

Apparently, Vos thought so as well, as he grabbed Fox by his shoulders and dragged him against a pillar, caging him in and hoping the group of separatists wouldn’t become aware of them.

But the group went straight to the bar.

For which they had to walk by the commander and jedi.

Fox realized it a second before Vos did and, knowing they didn’t have time for an elaborate escape, grabbed the other around the waist and crushed him against himself in a tight hug, bodies flush against the other, no distance between them.

Vos went rigid at that, but Fox didn’t notice the move nor how close they were, too focused on the group from his point of view with his face buried into the others neck.

Luck was on their side this time. The group was currently too busy getting their drinks and finding a place to sit, the droid talking to another one behind the bar, to notice them.

After a while Fox’ hands loosened around the others waist and he lifted his head ever-so-slightly to watch over Vos shoulder at the same.

When he was sure they weren’t in any immediate danger, he shifted so he could look at Vos.

Who was already staring at him with a hot intensity.

Fox felt not only his cheeks, but his entire body grow hot and he wet his suddenly very dry lips.

He might not had been sure of it before, but Vos was definitely putting his entire attention on that one movement. Fox was close enough to him to feel his hot breaths shuddering for a moment and to see his pupils dilating.

Suddenly Fox became very aware of their position and how close they were, their bodies practically touching everywhere, fitting into each other perfectly.

But Fox didn’t mind. Not this time.

Slowly his hands strayed from their position around Vos’ waist to his face, softly taking a hold of his cheeks and stroking the stripe over his nose.

Vos’ eyes closed and his breaths shuddered again. It was confirmation enough for Fox and he pulled Vos close to himself slowly and with care, his eyes taking in every inch of the others face until it was so close, it was blurry and their noses touched. That was when Fox closed his eyes as well, turned his head at just the right angle for their mouths to fit into each other perfectly.

But they stop millimetres in front of each other. Fox’ lips were trembling, but Vos’ were still and sure of themselves.

Wanting to comfort the other and to tell him it was alright -that they were alright- Vos closed the small distance between them himself.

And Fox felt, for the first time in a long time. Fox felt alive.

His entire body was burning, his heart was beating too fast and loud -it was a wonder Vos didn’t hear it- and his head felt light, not capable of thinking of anything.

Of nothing at all, except for Vos in front of him.

Only Vos, whose hands changed places to his hips and was cradling and kissing him like Fox was the only thing keeping him alive.

Fox threw his arms over the other’s shoulders, hands in his hair, holding on tighter and tighter every passing second.

Fox felt alive and like himself.

He didn’t want to stop, but eventually, one had to breath. So, he pulled back, but his grip stayed strong, and pushed forward again, only this time forehead to forehead, opening his eyes and breathing hard.

“You have no idea how long I’ve waited to do this.”

Fox didn’t know who muttered it into the small distance between them, but he didn’t care.

Quinlan, breathing hard as well, opened his eyes and gave Fox a chuckle and small smile, full of love and admiration.

And Fox let it wash over him.

The panic could wait. Right now, Fox just wanted to be in this moment.

Maybe having to share a bed after this won’t be such a bad idea.

Fox laughed a little at that thought and shook his head, smiling at Quinlan’s questioning look.

For now, he was finally happy.

Translation:

vode – siblings

osik – dung; bascially shit

utreekov – fool, idiot (lit. emptyhead)

#star wars #the clone wars #tcw #commander fox #CommanderFoxWeek #quinlan vos #vox #i have seen #quinfox #as well #commander fox/quinlan vos #quinlan vos/commander fox #y'all I don't even know anymore #VOX IS FINALLY HERE #did i basically went *and now kiss* with 2 dolls that are fox and quin?#why yes #yes i did #and my future self will be mortified and embarrassed as hell from this #the reason why their guy is called their guy and doesn't have a name is bc I'm not creative enough for one

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cloudruler · 5 years ago

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THAT BEING SAID, heres my list of criticisms for CP2077 so far because i’m not just blindly praising it. under a readmore for a few spoilers, one major character spoiler so if you’re playing don’t read this until youre finished with act 1

this isnt bringing into the account of the criticisms console players are talking about bc im on PC, but i completely agree with frustrated console players about launch being a mess.

the fact that they cut you being able to take jackie with you to go meet with meredith is really frustrating. i wonder if they lost time and it broke something because it was in the gameplay demo from a while back.

on the same vein, t-bugs ‘death’ was so sudden and fast that i didn’t even register it as her supposedly dying until v brings it up later in the level. i thought she had just gotten hurt and booted from the program. if she’s actually dead i’m going to be incredibly disappointed and its going to be one of my few genuine sour notes on the game.

the romances are laughably inserted and shouldn’t have even been part of marketing in my opinion. from my understanding it looks like they’re all sidequests and there’s only like four of them total anyways. dont bother if your v isnt into one of the two options they have and just pretend youre kissin whoever you want lol

takemuras introduction was amazing but i feel like i missed a dialog somewhere that explained why he ended up getting chased by arasaka so fast after the events of act 1. i know his motivation but am a little confused about whats going on.

in the same vein, some optional dialog choices don’t actually feel optional if you don’t want to feel like you’re missing context for whats going on. i don’t mean this in a lore way, i mean this in a basic narrative way.

i like that v clearly has their own personality that you kinda tweak and manipulate through your own actions, like with geralt in the witcher series. however i completely understand if people were lead to believe they’d be getting COMPLETE FREEDOM and are let down by the reality of V being a slightly less mailable character. as someone who likes witcher and the dragon age and mass effect series i’m okay with my oc having a pre-ordained personality but marketing could easily have misled people to believe otherwise and thats a totally valid complaint.

i love jackie to DEATH and hes one of the most likable videogame characters ever. however i do wonder sometimes if he suffers from ‘bilingual people don’t talk like that’ syndrome. it can get kinda muddy given how translators work in this universe.

in the same vein i think some of the calls for the game being transphobic or misogynist are overblown but i feel like part of it is the game might not be properly relaying that the overly sexual, violent, objectifying advertisements in 2077 is actually part of the lore and not CD trying to be cheeky ala Saints Row. Its a crit on consumerism and how desensitized the populace of the future gets to hatred, violence, and sex that it has to be overblown to the point of ludicracy. it might not translate for someone who hasn’t taken the time to look into the lore or familarize themselves with the vibe of the series before picking up the game. YES it is incredibly gritty and dark, but thats the point. However I think that fact needed to be communicated better because it just won’t be palatable for some people. Its stuff like this that makes me think we really need content warnings ALA fanfic for... all media, really. its a good idea. i could see the ‘fuckable piece of meat’ line being genuinely terrifying for some people and it comes out of nowhere. I like dark media and content but i don’t know if the game properly conveys beforehand that this is a BLEAK. world. BLEAK.

i also think, unfortunately, its clear the team was crunched and ran out of time for a lot of things they wanted to add into the game. i feel like tying gender to v’s voice was the most elegant solution they had considering all of the voicelines in game. not saying it’s the best solution, but i’m glad they did that rather than tie it to body type or genetalia.

that being said i wish you could have a biotic pussy or dick in this game just bc that would be some cool transhumanism. same in general i wish you could replace limbs or eventually get more cyberware options that changed how you look.

I’m glad they’re gonna fix the epilepsy trigger but I’m also surprised and disappointed no one caught that might be a problem earlier on. I wonder what play testing was like.

Also glad the dev team isnt going to be treated like the new vegas team and they’re getting their bonus regardless of the game’s review score. that’s some stupid bullshit but every publisher does that shit unfortunately.

the fact you cant change your makeup, cybernetics, or hair after the start is dumb and i hope they fix that.

the c key being for crouching AND skipping dialogue is inelegant to say the least. you can fix it in settings for skipping dialogue to be ‘hold c’ but it shouldn’t have been an issue in the first place.

ai definitely wasnt finished and it shows. largely in how theres clearly no AI driving and how cops feel half-implimented.

managing stash is CONFUSING. so is the hacking minigame until you get used to it.

it is a LITTLE apparent that you’re going to go into Cutscene Time because characters tell you to sit somewhere specific. However once you’re in those locked scenes the game is still super immersive and beautiful so it’s not too bad.

i don’t understand why youd buy a car when you have one already and a motorcycle but i’ll still probably shop around for funsies

combat definitely feels floaty but ive played bethesda games and nothing can be as bad as those so its fine for me.

i know there’s more but thats what i have so far. I’m having a great time but those are my Thots.

#cyberpunk 2077

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firstbase-skincare · 4 years ago

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The only exception is actually those along with sensitive skin layer. The 2015 research study posted in Professional, Cosmetic and Investigational Dermatology found that 6 percent of research study individuals experienced itching, which the analysts claimed was actually probably due to the level of acidity of vitamin C. Folks with really delicate skin should seek advice from a skin specialist prior to make use of given that potent types of vitamin C may sometimes aggravate vulnerable skin.

About FirstBase Skincare How To Use Vitamin C Serum

I have actually constantly had ok skin, few breakouts however out of no where I was experiencing grown-up acne, hyperpigmentation, lethargy, dry and so on. After being placed on retinol to aid fix a few of what I was experiencing, I chose to incorporate the CE Ferulic to my routine. After I clean my skin in the morning along with a gentle cleanser, I use this as well as level on the Hydrating b5 gel and hydrate along with the Three-way Fat Restore.

With a regular dose of pure vitamin C on your skin, you will definitely discover a radical remodeling in your growing old indications. This is actually the main reason why numerous maturing skin care products contain well-balanced amounts of vitamin C. 3. Repair work Skin An additional terrific benefit that vitamin C skincare supplies is skin layer fixing.

Cheer up the Skin Vitamin C is the best organic skin layer lightener. It hinders the creation of melanin and vanishes obstinate hyper-pigmentation from one of the most internal layers of the skin. People who consistently eat Vitamin C either orally or even topically have discovered an extra even skin layer hue and also brighter complexion.

Vitamin C lessens the opportunities of transepidermal water loss. The finest method to maintain your skin hydrated and plump is to apply a great vitamin C emollient.

Vitamin C Serum Benefits

Both are a really good beginning indicate locate the most effective vitamin C product for you. This cream delivers centered advantages of vitamin C, which is actually known to lessen fine line creases, minimize uneven skin tone, as well as give your skin layer an out-of-this-world glow.

Among the best frequently talked to elegance questions is actually "what sort of skin product should you be actually making use of?" One with vitamin C. It is among minority skincare active ingredients that actually, truly benefits all skin layer types and also tones and practically every dermatologist I have actually communicated along with acknowledges.

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