#incorrect clone cadets

[crashlanding-skywalker]

Interviewer: so Crosshair tell us

Interviewer: whats your love language?

Crosshair: errr.. Physical contact?

[Flashback]

cadet! Crosshair: Some people are like slinkies.

cadet! Tech: What?

Crosshair: Not really good for much but bring a smile to your face when you push them down the stairs.

Tech:

Crosshair:

Tech: Please don't push Hunter down the stairs.

Crosshair, pushing Hunter down the stairs: Too late.

[walterfairholmes]

Cadet Echo, to Fives: It's okay to be sad, sometimes we need to let our feelings out, just let yourself be sad.

99: Oh that's so lovely, well done. Why is he crying?

Echo: I hit him.

[clonememesfrikyeah]

Teaching cadets how to round in math

Little cadet: “Seventeen how old are you?”

Alpha-17: “Twenty one.”

Little: *Doing the math*

Alpha-17: “TWO and ONE.”

Little: “Oooh…so you’re almost fifty!”

Alpha-17: “That’s right.”

Little: “And then you’ll be dead.”

Fordo: *gasps from the other side of the room* “Cadet!”

Alpha-17: “I hope so. Well don’t correct him he’s right. I yearn for the urn.”

Fordo: “NO-“

[sjm-starwars]

alpha 17: *holding a 5mo cadet in his right hand* hey, jedi, go deep.

shaak ti: 17, when we said you could play bolo ball with the cadets, this is not what we meant

[archivewriter1ont]

Cadet Batch Incorrect Quotes

Echo: These are my baby brothers who have done no wrong ever in their entire lives.

Wolffe: They just set the barracks on fire.

Echo: (ignoring the flames) No, they didn't.

Wolffe: Okay, so why is it BURNING?

Rex: Faulty wiring.

Echo: Spontaneous combustion.

Cody: Must have been Skywalker.

Wolffe: You are all ridiculous.

Plo Koon: (somehow holding all four baby batchers at once) Come now, Commander. How on earth could these little angels do anything of the sort?

Wolffe:

Wolffe: I guess the wires were faulty, Sir.

| Fic is here |

[suck-a-egg]

Domino squad: who cares if we’re pretty if we fail our finals

[incorrectclonewarsquotes]

Cody: Can my battalion campout with you tonight

Rex: What happened?

Wooley: General Skywalker was messing with a Sith artifact, broke it, and turned half of the battalion including my husband into toddlers along infested our ship with Sith ghosts.

Rex: And where is Ahsoka?

Wooley: She doesn't know how to banish spirits, so she's splashing the sky cruiser with swamp water and salt yelling "This isn't a hotel"

[definitelyhumansthings]

no one can tell me crosshairs first interaction with tech when they were cadets didn’t go like this

Tech: Do I sound smart, or am I smart? 
Crosshair: You sound unbearable, to be perfectly honest.

[cc-cobalt-1043]

I'm going to hell for sure:

Cadet Crosshair: don't worry, if I die I'll be looking up at you very fondly

Cadet Cobalt: looking up

Cadet Crosshair: oh yeah, I'm going to hell for sure

[lothcat-lothcat-lothwolf-run]

I try to write fluff or even just some funny dialogue and it comes out as angst and graphic descriptions of murder

for example:

“But what about a Rancor? Could that kill a Gundark?”

“It was never about what could beat a Gundark, it was about who!”

“Doesn’t matter who beats it, all I’m saying is that it would kill you first.”

Dispatch swore he could hear Gibbs roll his eyes. 

“And who’s to say it wouldn’t maim you next?”

“Me? Nah. I’d run away fast enough so that it couldn’t catch me. But it might go for handsome over there,” Sixer joked, pointing towards Knockout.

“You wish. I heard it eats the ugly ones first.” Knockout retorted.

“We all have the same kriffing face, you idiot!”

“Then how-” A hush fell over the group. 

Behind the bend they had been walking towards was a massacre. The ground stained orange and brown, a scent of rust filled the air. The fires were still aflame, turning the sand into glass into shards of a battle that once raged in the same spot they stood now. 

You could tell what was burning from the color of the smoke. It was one of the first survival lessons he learned. A light gray for wood and cloth, a deep brown for a place of residence about to collapse. White meant the start of a fire, and black…

It’s not that plastoid wasn’t flammable, it was just not often a sight many saw. When ships crashed, exploring the wreckage wasn’t the protocol. And separatist forces didn’t often rely on flamethrowers or other incendiary weapons. This was a planned attack, one by an outside force who, most likely, didn’t appear to appreciate the full scale invasion that either side launched. 

It wasn’t rare for the residents of whatever planet the GAR decided was important to rebel in one way or another. But it wasn’t expected here. Lato 2 was made up of a very desolate and yet twisting landscape, which made it the ideal place for a large separatist mining operation. The residents of Lato 3 were mostly traders; there was a big shipping port there. But they had agreed to take no part in the war, declaring themselves a neutral system. 

Dispatch coughed, being the first one to technically break the silence. As he turned to Gibbs for further instructions, he noticed that the commander had taken his helmet off. His face was frozen in a state of disbelief and horror, as if he had never seen such a thing before. It could’ve been fear, sure, but anger seemed better fitting. 

[crashlanding-skywalker]

Droidbait: Y’know, maybe things aren’t so bad. I’m here. I got the nice ocean breeze. Just alone with my thoughts.

Echo & Fives: Hey, Droidbait.

Droidbait: GODDAMNIT!

[clonememesfrikyeah]

Alpha-17: “That’s game cadets, who’s up next?”

Random little cadet: “What does ‘thats game’ mean?”

Alpha-17: “Well, it’s a sports term. Like slam dunk or ball handler.”

Captain Fordo: *Bursts through door* “You called?”

Alpha-17: “Get the hell off my training deck right now-“

[awkward-tension-art]

Darkness on Umbara Chp.11 (Rex x Reader)

Chapter. 10 Chapter 12.

Hardcase

cw: Rex x Reader, Reader is a medic, incorrect military procedure, graphic descriptions of injuries, blood, swearing, death and battle, Canon character death, Spoilers for the Umbara Arc, Pong Krell is an asshole, reader insert, names of non-canon dead clones, Grief, bottling up emotions to appear strong, Mentions of breakdowns, reader is gender neutral, no use of (Y/N), if i miss a tag LMK

Minors DNI

As it turned out, Dogma was correct. 

Hardcase, Fives and Jesse had stolen Umbaran fighters and managed to infiltrate the supply ship that was the source of such a powerful resistance. You had been outside, walking the airbase to check up on previously injured them when they returned. 

Your heart dropped when you realized there were only two ships. Seeing Jesse and Fives step off the ships, but no Hardcase…

No. 

No. No.

No!

Wordlessly, you turned and went back into the medical bay. 

Ignore it. Hardcase is fine. He's fine. 

You refused to accept his death. It didn’t happen. Hardcase was alright. He was just late.

As a doctor, you’ve seen all five stages of grief. You’ve experienced the five stages before. Felt them in your own way.

Denial.

Anger.

Bargaining.

Depression.

And acceptance. 

Logically, you knew this denial was part of the process. Emotionally however? You were going haywire. Hardcase was your friend. You’ve known him the same length of time as the rest of Torrent Company.

You couldn’t think about it. You had work to do. You had injured soldiers to wake and evaluate. You had others to hunt down and check their injuries. You couldn’t collapse into your grief, not yet. 

So you threw your feelings aside and focused.

“What happened?” Kix’s voice sounded concerned as soon as he saw you walk in, “Are you alright?” 

You shook your head. He had to know. Shifting your mindset, to that of a medical professional, you told him, “Kix, I’m sorry.” your hands were on his shoulders, “Hardcase is gone. He didn’t return with Fives and Jesse.” 

The medic’s eyes widened. They were from the same batch. Cadets together, “Hardcase..?”

“Kix, I want you to go. Go to the barracks and get some sleep. Go be with your brothers.” You commanded him gently. You could swallow your mourning long enough to fill in for him. Let him grieve and process. 

With a nod, he stepped back, away from you. His brown eyes roamed the floor, as if trying to find something. 

Shock, most likely. Hardcase was a powerhouse, almost nothing could take him down.

Except fucking Umbara.

“Kix,” You murmured, “Kix, look at me.” Your hands held his face, forcing his gaze into yours, “Leave the medical bay, go to the barracks, and take some time for yourself.” 

He croaked in response, barely holding it together, “The men..”

“I can handle it.” You responded calmly, “Go. Be with your brothers.”

With a nod, Kix left you. His shoulders were shaking with silent sobs just as he walked out the door. 

The clones were brothers. All of them were connected in a way you couldn’t fully understand. It was a deep familial bond that you were sure transcended the damn Force. Even the word for brother in Mando’a seemed so much…deeper than any other word. 

“Vod.” You whispered the word in Mando’a to no one but yourself, It means Brother.

You didn’t feel the tears as you whispered the language. 

It hit you that Hardcase didn’t speak much Mando’a. Did he know these words? Probably. Most clones knew the basics. You could ask him-.

No. You couldn’t.

“Vod’ika Hardcase…” You breathed, heart tightening. 

Dearest brother Hardcase. That's what the clones would call him as they mourned. Dearest brother. 

You sank to the floor, staring ahead as you silently cried. Your palm slapped over your mouth as your emotions hit you in waves. Just when you thought you could breathe, another sob would rock your body. 

Hardcase. Hardcase.

You let yourself cry. It was good for the brain, you knew that. Your medically trained mind kicked in. You were allowed this grief and this pain. Hardcase wasn’t your brother, but he was your friend. 

So you cried. You let your brain release its emotions. At some point you had moved, leaning against the wall between two troopers on medical cots, Rusty and Cobalt, both down with broken ribs and severe blaster burns. Mindlessly, you ran your fingers through their hair. 

You’ve found that even under the effects of sedatives, they could register touch. Sometimes they would also remember words spoken near them as well. 

“I got you guys,” you stared ahead in your grief as you mumbled, “I got all of you. Whether you hear me or not, I got you.”

You found some comfort in taking care of these soldiers. Maybe it was because you were a doctor and you wanted to help. Or maybe with Rex as your lover, they were your brothers in a way.

Either way, you cared so much about them. 

The doors opened some time, possibly an hour, after you calmed down. Tup walked in on you sitting between Nax and Ink. You were aimlessly massaging Nax’s hand when the young trooper saw you. He took one look into your eye and figured it out.

“You know about Hardcase?” He asked, walking over to you and sitting down on your left. 

“Yea.” you mumbled, “I sent Kix to the barracks. To get some rest, so it's just me here.”

He nodded, draping an arm around your shoulder, “Everyone stable?” Clones were affectionate by nature with each other, so you didn’t read into the closeness. You’ve been hugged and held by plenty of Rex’s brothers. He trusted you, and he trusted the troopers, so platonic affection was just that. Platonic, but still appreciated.

“For now,” your answer was quiet, “What’s going on with Fives and Jesse?”

“Court martial,” He responded, tilting his head to rest on yours, “It's not fair. They did the right thing. Krell is just…being cruel.” 

“I’m sure Anakin will do something about it when he returns.” You mumbled, “He’d probably compliment Jesse and Fives, then let them go.” 

Tup chuckled, but it sounded hollow and sad, “Wish Hardcase would have made it back.”

You nodded slowly, continuing to stare ahead at nothing. Carefully, you rested Nax’s hand back on the bed before resting your head on Tup’s shoulder and closing your eyes, “I’m not going to let this happen ever again.” You whispered, making a promise to the 501st, “I promise, Tup, I’m never going to stand back and let a bad General hurt any of you ever again.”

He hummed softly, “I would pay real credits to watch you rip into Krell.”

“You don’t need to pay me. I’ll do it for free.” you snarked, earning a snicker from the soldier. 

“I’m sure General Skywalker would too, once he knows about all of this.” He responded, moving his head to lean against the wall, “Who do you think would win in a duel? Krell or General-.”

The doors to the med bay opened again. You opened your eyes when you heard the steps come to a stop in front of you. Tup stiffened and sat up straighter. 

Rex was standing above the two of you, His eyes were a storm of grief, agony and frustration. You’ve never seen such a look on your lover.

You raised a hand to him, “Take a break and grieve with us.” You rasped.

He took your hand but remained standing, “Krell has ordered the execution of Jesse and Fives.”

“What!?” Tup scrambled to his feet, “Why!?”

Your eyes widened and you shot to your feet. It felt like someone dumped ice water over your head and your stomach dropped. Desperation hit you like a speeder. Jesse and Fives can’t be executed! They did nothing wrong!

“He has asked me to put a firing squad together.” Rex continued to speak, “Dogma is going to oversee the execution.”

“No, I refuse.” The younger trooper snapped, “I won’t kill my own brothers!” 

“None of us have a choice.” The clone captain sighed.

“Rex,” Your voice cracked, “Is there really no other way?”

“I’m not forcing anyone to execute,” He responded, “The men will have the freedom to choose. I was just commanded to put the squad together.”

Tup looked at his captain, eyes going wide before he shook his head, “I’ll be on the squad.” His voice trembled, “But I won’t shoot.” 

“I can’t force you too.” The clone captain responded. He looked over at you, “I want you to remain here.” 

“Respectfully decline that order, captain.” You answered him, “They’re my friends.”

Rex’s expression was unreadable. Was he proud you wouldn’t look away? Worried you might break down? Or was he angry you declined to follow his orders?

Could be all three.

With a sigh and a shake of his head, the 501st captain didn’t argue, “Go to the back of the tower. Speak with Dogma about placement.” He mumbled to Tup before turning to leave. 

“Yes, Captain.” the other trooper responded with a salute. The both of you shared a look before you followed him to the back of the tower. 

To your horror, Kix was among those selected for the execution.

Rex chose a medic for an execution!?

Was this a particular act of cruelty? Or did Krell specifically order him to pick the only other medical professional on the 501st?

With Krell not present and Rex going to get Fives and Jesse, your ire was directed at Dogma, “Is this some kind of joke!?” You snapped at him, “How are you not sick of the taste of Krell’s boots?!”

You must’ve startled him, but he whirled to look at you, almost seeming scared. To his credit, he did manage to recover quickly and retort, “General Krell has given an order to execute traitors. We are soldiers and we follow orders that will benefit the republic!

“Make your own fucking decisions before your lips need to be surgically removed from Krell’s ass!” 

Hardcase would be proud of you for that one. You thought to yourself.

Kix stepped out of the firing line and approached, getting between the two of you, “Doctor, stand down. Now!” 

Dogma kept a steady glare on you, “We are made to be soldiers. Good soldiers follow orders, something you will never understand.”

Good soldiers follow orders.

Why did that phrase send a shiver up your spine? You swallowed and took a step back, folding under Dogma’s critical gaze, “You all are more than just soldiers.” You responded, “But you're right. I will never understand. But I’m still staying.”

He seemed to accept his petty victory. Dogma was vindictive, something you learned a little too late, “Line up the prisoners!” he called out, and Kix returned to his place in line. 

You remained off to the side, eyes on Fives and Jesse. The ARC trooper had his head held high, as if proud to be in such a position. Even facing down death, he was courageous. 

Rex and Appo had the two prisoners stand in place before stepping away. The former found his place beside you, putting a hand on your shoulder. 

Dogma stepped forward, “Do the prisoners request to be blindfolded?” His question was met with defiant silence, “I’ll take that as a no.” 

“I hope you can live with yourself, Dogma.” Fives spat. 

You knew in your heart that Hardcase would have said a lot more swears. Maybe even try and swing at Dogma for this display of coldness. 

The soldier overseeing the execution didn’t react to the ARC trooper's words, “Ready weapons!” he called. Just as he gave the command, the soldiers in line prepared their rifles. 

Jesse hung his head and mumbled, “I never thought we’d go out this way…”

“Aim!”

Before Dogma could give the command, Fives interrupted, “Wait! This is wrong and we all know it!” He looked over the line of his brothers, desperate to reach them, “The General is making a mistake and he needs to be called on it! No clone should have to go out this way!” 

You noticed Kix made eye contact with Tup. the both of them shifted slightly, body language reading as ‘unsure’. Others in the firing squad did so as well.

The ARC trooper continued, “We are loyal soldiers, we follow orders but we are not a bunch of unthinking droids! We are men! we must be trusted to make the right decisions especially when the orders we are given are wrong!”

You couldn’t help but smile softly with unshed tears in your eyes.

Hardcase would be so proud…

“Fire!”

The blaster shots rang out, startling you. But you refused to look away. Your eyes took in the reality of the situation. 

Jesse and Fives, still alive, stood still, looking at their brothers. Every single blaster shot missed, littering the tower with smoking holes. Yet, none of them went anywhere near the two troopers. The firing squad dropped their rifles, the weapons clattering to the ground in unison. 

Dogma gasped beside you, “Wait what!?” He hurried in front of the line.

“They’re doing the right thing, Dogma.” Rex stepped beside the confused and frazzled trooper, “Because if this,” The 501st captain motioned to the two prisoners as he spoke, “is how soldiers are rewarded for heroic actions then one day every man in this battalion may face a similar fate.” 

You wiped your tears with your sleeve, and Kix looked at you with a chuckle. 

Bastard, stop laughing at me. You couldn’t hold back your own relieved giggle. Apparently you were worried for nothing. 

“Take off their binders!” Rex commanded, and Appo followed his orders loyally. 

Dogma argued frantically, “No! We have orders! We have to go through with this!” 

“Good luck finding anyone to do it,” Your lover damn nearly growled as he approached Jesse and Fives.

You turned away, intending to go back to the medical bay. The arguing of Rex and Dogma was tuned out as Kix and Tup appeared at your sides.

“You ok?” the medic asked you, looking relieved himself. His hands were shaking ever so slightly.

“You stressed me out!” Your tone wasn’t harsh, but it was clear the entire situation got to you, “Next time, give a doctor a warning before you deliberately miss a shot!” In a friendly manner, you grabbed his ear and tugged slightly, “I am going to age as fast as all of you because of this battalion!”

Tup laughed beside you as you manhandled your medic comrade. Of course you didn’t mean anything by your words, and they knew that. Still, you let him go, “Hardcase would have done the same as you, I think.” 

Kix nodded, giving you a sad smile, “He’d probably have gone after Krell himself.”

“I’d have loved to see that,” Tup chimed in, clear in his own state of mourning still.

You looked at the two of them before sighing and grabbing the medic in a hug. At first he was startled, but you felt his arms wrap around your waist soon enough. Wordlessly, you reached and tugged Tup’s hand, pulling him in as well.

Clones are affectionate to their brothers. You always kept such a thing in mind, I’m no clone, but I hope they appreciate it. 

The two melted into the warmth, and it was the younger trooper who mumbled, “Thanks Doc.”

“I’m here for you. I’m here for everyone.” You reassured him kindly. Your grief could wait. It had to, just for them.

Sadly, the group hug was broken up by Kix’s comm buzzing. Once he answered, Rex’s words came through, “Umbarans have stolen clone gear. Krell has ordered we take them out.” 

“So the Umbarans think they can trick us, huh?” Tup put a hand on his hip, “I say we go after them. Care to join us, doc?”

Your nod was uncertain. Not because you didn’t want to join the men and help, but because you couldn’t take the unease you’ve felt over Rex’s words. 

You had the worst feeling about this.

[archivewriter1ont]

Cadet Batch Incorrect Quotes

*Echo gets a call*

Hondo: Hello my friend!

Echo: HONDO?!

Hondo: Yes, that is my name! I have that information the knife guy wanted -- you know, the one he said you boys would pay quite handsomely for...

Cadet Wrecker: Who's that?

Echo: Wrecker, hold on, please, I'm talking. Okay, what Hondo? 

Hondo:

Echo: Hondo...?

Hondo: That little disgustingly adorable squeaky voice -- you said that was the big guy?

Echo: Well, yes -- no -- not exactly. None of them are very big right now. Uh, what information?

Hondo: Oh, yes -- the information!!  Actually... I believe it is too important for, you know, over the phone. So I shall deliver it in person!!

Kenobi: HONDO DON'T YOU --

Hondo: Kenobi! Metal Man, you are friends with my friends? Ha! I told you we are friends! I will be there within the hour! *cuts comm*

Echo:

Echo: Okay, we have one hour to either get out of here, change them back, or fake our own deaths.

Cadet Crosshair: What if we just kill the guy on the comm?

Kenobi:

Cody: *aghast* General!

Kenobi: I mean, it's not a terrible idea.

(Fic is here | Full deleted scene coming soon! In collaboration with Archivewriter99❤️)

[star-farer]

AU: A Protostar In Plastoid

In the year 24 BBY, the cadets of Experimental Unit 99 discover a defective tubie in Nala Se's private medical facility. Unexpectedly, an unshakeable bond is forged that only strengthens in absence

Lore:

I've extended the timeline, so the first clones are created nearly 15 years before the First Battle of Geonosis, i.e. clone creation begins in the year 37 BBY instead of the usual 32 BBY.

The Clone Wars break out per usual: in the year 22 BBY, ending in the year 19 BBY, etc.

Omega has accelerated aging like any normal clone.

Experimental Unit 99 are a proper pod of brothers, decanted in the year 34 BBY.

Echo is more of a Ba'vodu here.

Art

coming home — Hunter and Omega

Miscellaneous Art — Wrecker, Omega, Gonky, Hunter and Tech

Baby Omega Studies — Omega <3

The Tech Finger (tm) — Omega once again!

Omega Doodles — Another Omega for your soul

Look What I Drew On The Wall Do U Like It — Yet another Omega!

Web Weaving

You Are My Country

Carry

Other

untitled incorrect quote

more incorrect quotes

on bedtime and bathtime

on biting

on shaak ti, om'ika and memories

on meg'ika

on names spoken first

on being held

on cleanliness

Writing

lost stars — Pabu has fallen, its beaming star lost.

sunshine — A moment spent in joy.

litany of time — In which a clone-child reacquaints with the mundane of science and loss.

cover me with a red sky tonight — When the asset of Tantiss Base returns home.

bellfruit — Beware the glimmering eyes of bronze.

big words and little fishes — A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, Clone Force 99 spends an evening out with their toddler.

heart first — Ninety-nine times out of ten.

make it right — One night on cold Kamino, long before Order 66, Hunter discovers agony incarnate.

the vanishing clone — Young Clone Force 99 have a moment with their ad'ika on the way back to Kamino.

grief unspeakable — A curious exchange between Echo and Crosshair, set before Order 66.

fill the skies — A quiet early morning passes on Tipoca City.

fateague — Sick little clones must rest.

bruises and bickering — Children will always find ways of getting into trouble.

to capture your doom — Loveless worlds hold no power over a child of hope.

multifaceted — Tired minds and unwise choices.

Secret (Sister) Weapon — Featuring a young Omega at age 4-ish and her group of brotherdads, a gigantic piece of fluff.

midst the storms — Wounds, old and new. Take heart, weary soul.

soft falls the victory — When at last you are smiled upon kindly.

as I lay me down to sleep — Rain and warmth.

painters and strategists — A warning against wily children.

to mend the rift — What is guilt in the face of love?

Waking and Sleeping — Omega’s nights are lonely on Kamino, and she doesn’t quite know why until she reunites with the Batch.

the quiet in between — Even amidst a galaxy of war, the grass still grows.

change — To be cradled by a bed, or to be cradled by love

from green to gold, bliss to woe — Hope is the thing with feathers; despair whets her jagged arrows sharp.

white lies and dear laughter — Naive little clones will ever be teased by fond fathers.

Playing Pretend — Omega likes playing pretend, but one day her games aren't so pretend anymore.

Placebo Effect — While raising Omega, the Bad Batch discovers the critical childcare technique of "kissing it better".

Little Girl, What Goes On In Your Head: Part 1, Part 2 — When Omega is taken from the Batch by Cad Bane, her fears born from the past resurface as she faces separation from her family, but she comes to find the Batch isn't going to let that happen. Not again.

A Fundamental Part of Life — An infant Omega does not initially recognize Tech without his goggles, and he takes the opportunity to teach her a little bit about change.

Passing These Quiet Hours — The Batch find ways to pass long transits with a child in tow!

I'll Do Better — Crosshair is the last to warm up to the tiny infant girl rescued from Nala Se's laboratory, but even he could not help but love her.

[suck-a-egg]

Echo: Coming soon to Pixar: An Eel Ate My Brother