#incorrect reddie

[incorrect-itquotes]

Eddie, walking in to a room: "Sorry I’m late... I was... doing things." *Sounds of running footsteps progressively getting louder* Richie, out of breath: "HE PUSHED ME DOWN THE FUCKIN’ STAIRS."

[dwobbitfromtheshire]

Eddie: Hey, Robin, you know that fae folklore where some fairies have to count salt when it's spilled in front of them?

Robin: Yeesss, where are you going with this, buddy?

Eddie: Well, if Steve trips in front of a fairy, do you think it would have to count his moles?

Robin: I don't know, depends on if his moles taste like salt or not:

Steve: *walking back into the living room* Okay, got the popcorn! I might have - EDDIE!

Eddie had gotten up, grabbed Steve’s face, and licked the moles on his cheek.

Eddie: *gasps* Robin! It tastes like salt. . .AND butter!

Steve: *blushing* Yeah, that's because I ate a couple of pieces. Jesus.

Eddie: *thinking about counting Steve’s moles* I wish I was a fairy.

Steve: Dude! We do NOT like to be called that!

Eddie gaped at him the rest of the night, trying to figure out if he was a mythical creature or not when actually Steve has yet to tell Eddie he's bisexual.

[incorrect-losers]

Richie: Uh, maybe we should hold hands?

Richie: For safety

Eddie: You’re absolutely right

[liv45no]

Stan: Bill, wait, it could be dangerous!

Stan: *kicks Richie* Rich, you go first.

[psychotickid28]

(not mine)

[skeletons-and-roses]

Pennywise: I know your secret~

Richie: Wait how do you know I’m gay?

Pennywise: Ya know how I can smell fear?

Richie: Yeah…and?

Pennywise: I can smell your fruitiness from a mile away!

Richie:

Pennywise:

Richie: I’m gonna kill this fucking clown

[honestlyuniversallycupcake]

Eddie, talking to Bill: Some asshole texted me at 3 AM last night.

Richie, talking to Beverly: I texted some idiot at 3 AM last night.

Bill: H-How come you t-two don't have e-each other's numbers?

Richie: We couldn't decide on which pizza to order last week, so I deleted his contact.

Eddie: Richie wanted fucking pineapple!

Stanley, walking past: Stop arguing like a married couple.

[thatgaygirlfromderry]

bev: eddie, can we give you some advice? eddie: what? is it the way i’m dressed? richie: well, yes… but it’s too late for that.

[headcanonthings]

Richie: What are your adjectives? Eddie:...you mean my pronouns? Richie: No, I know what your pronouns are! What are you adjectives? Eddie:...I dunno. What are yours? Richie: Noise and chaotic! Eddie: I've never had something go from making no sense to making complete sense so quickly.

[animegalaxy123]

Eddie:*Choking Richie for reasons* Riche: Harder Daddy~ Eddie:... Richie:... Eddie: What the Fuck, Richie!?

[wilted-rose-143]

Eddie: banging a pen on the table out of frustration Richie: Stop that. How would YOU feel if I banged you on the table? Eddie: I— Eddie: I don’t know the correct answer to that question.

[tf2incorrectquotes]

Reddy: Hm, Mr Hale has been rather quiet today.

Bidwell: Yeah, it’s quite nice actually.

Reddy: ...

Bidwell: ...

Redwell: We should check on him.

Bidwell: Immediately.

[dwobbitfromtheshire]

Eddie: *to Robin and Steve* Who are these people you're gossiping about again?!

Robin: Oh, we don't actually gossip about real people.

Steve: Yeah, we learned that lesson the hard way.

Robin: So, now we make up people and their backgrounds. We gossip about them.

Eddie: I have been invested for over an hour over people who are NOT real?!

Steve and Robin: Yeah.

Eddie: *throwing up his hands* Either write a fucking book or join Hellfire!

Steve and Robin: *looks at each other before looking back at Eddie* Nah.

Eddie: *screams*

[incorrect-losers]

Went: I knew you two couldn’t stay mad at each other

Richie: Oh yeah. We’re closer than ever

Richie & Eddie: *Hold up their hands and they are both handcuffed together*

Went: You wanna tell me how this happened?

Eddie: Well, Bill thought-

Went: Oh man, I wish that boy would stop doing that

[liv45no]

Eddie: my mother can’t come to the wedding. She was at a yoga retreat and she fell out of a warrior pose and she broke her hip.

Richie: should we consider the possibility that someone pushed her?

Eddie: Rich, please! They were a bunch of peace-loving hippies who spent two weeks in the rainforest with my mother!

Eddie: OF COURSE someone pushed her!

[carry-on-my-wayward-butt]

me when i make a knee jerk reaction post instead of researching a topic