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Ms. Pauling: What's it called when you're so disconnected from reality that cold water doesn't feel like anything and you can barely taste food anymore?

Sniper: Depersonalization?

Medic: Locking in!

Pyro: Thursday.

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Demo: I once pimp slapped a seagull into a cafe. I thought it was a ball being thrown at me but it was a flying gull and I instinctively batted it away and into a cafe table full of people. The chaos was unimaginable.

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Spy: I shall bottle up my feelings and let them age. Exactly how I like my wine.

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Soldier: *rocket jumps to escape enemy Demoman* HA HA, I'M A GENIUS! *crashes into the ceiling* I'm Okay...

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Soldier: *starting calmly before yelling* I believe the answer to that question, like the answer to most questions, is FUCK YOU!

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Engineer: Say, Doc, where did you learn to play the fiddle?

Medic: Oh, it's a long story! See there was this demon-

*flashback*

Lucifer: *holding his hands up for mercy* Spare my life and I will teach you to play the violin!

*flashforward*

Medic: And then he taught me to play the violin!

Engineer: *staring at Medic slackjawed*

Medic: *scratching his nose* Hm, I guess it's not such a long story, after all.

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Heavy's wrapped around Medic like a koala!

[strawpage request]

redraw of @/dailyheavymedic 's post ^^

it's not exactly the same but i hope it's ok

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Yetti: I don't believe in violence.

Saxton Hale: *pulling back for a punch* Oh, I promise you, it is very real!

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Scout: *is new to the team and has observed Heavy and Medic*

Scout: Hey, uh, are those guys lovers?

Demo: Worse, lad. They're feckin' stupid.

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hey if ya'll need something to do tonight instead of celebrating the 4th of july here's seasons 1-4 of lego monkie kid that you can download for free until july 30th and also season 5 is here which you should also download for media preservation

have fun binging one of the most batshit insanely well animated shows i've ever seen 👍

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Survival Myths That Could Do More Harm Than Good.

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Pyro: *muffled* The world will be my toaster!

Engineer: I think you mean "oyster," bud.

Pyro: *muffled disgust* No, I can’t stand sea food!

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Medic: *holding up the bonesaw* Bones? Where we’re going, we won’t need bones.

Sniper: WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?!!

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Engineer: And now a little gay update from our Medic. How's it going, Doc?

Medic: *watching Heavy carry several crates at once* Getting gayer!

Engineer: Thank you, Doc.