#incorrect runaways

[theshortangrylesbian]

Nico: BE A BETTER PERSON! 

Karolina: WHY?! 

Nico: BECAUSE SOMEONE NEEDS TO HAVE MORALS IN THIS RELATIONSHIP, AND IT SURE AS FUCK AIN'T GONNA BE ME, SWEETHEART

[the-balloon-shed]

imma be honest I want to make a fic of this one day but for right now you just get me running wild with this headcanon

you know how there's those videos of surgeons being "inspirational" to their interns and then saying the meanest shit in the world? yeah, I think that's Iceman as an instructor at TOPGUN. 

Just the dry, rough sense of humor? The perfectly attenuated phrase in order to knock the arrogance out of some of these scrappy pilots? That's Iceman. The evidence is there in TG86! it's ICE who is saying the most bratty shit to Maverick. His criticisms are almost always valid or born of a real curiosity that's worth looking into, which I think is key, but he expresses it in the rudest and most inciting way possible. 

"Who was covering Cougar while you were showboating --"; (in response to Slider's calling Goose and Mav "famous") "I think you mean notorious"; "I don't like you 'cause you're dangerous" -- I mean Ice is right but he's also a bitch. (we don't have time to unpack ALL of what went into Ice goading Maverick seconds after meeting him with "need help figuring it out? who's the best pilot?" like my god man). 

So, some contenders for some of the commentary Ice might have for his students -- 

"Keep flying like that, I'm going to assume you're getting kickbacks from the military hospital." 

"I can only hope one day you fly for the enemy." 

"I was thrilled to hear the Navy's policy initiative for accommodating more disabilities went into action this year, however, I do think they should reconsider sending me blind pilots." 

"Are you on your wingman's life insurance or something?" 

"What did I say about making the same mistake twice?" "At least tell you I've learned something?" "No. What I said is don't." 

"Resist the urge to help me."

"I'm not looking for the best you can do. I'm looking for the best, period. So if you can't do any better, I suggest trying to emulate somebody else who can." 

"Well, you're no Artful Dodger, but artless dodging kept you alive well enough this time, I suppose." (I think it would be funny if he incidentally gave this poor pilot the callsign Dodger because of this, or A.D. for Artless Dodger)

"Did the Academy change its curriculum? Emphasize the element of surprise?" "Um... why do you ask, sir?" "Because you fly like you've never been inside a plane before." 

And I think he might say this to a colleague trying to pull rank over him that he neither respects nor cares about:

"I've neither the time, nor the crayons, to explain this to you." 

I think Mav would be so annoyed, too. "why do I have the reputation for being hard to work with when you're going around saying the meanest crap to these kids?" 

All Ice would do is laugh. "Sounds like a personal problem." 

Not to say that Ice is an asshole without restraint. Hell, the Iceman is all about restraint. He doesn't kick people when they're down. He doesn't say cutting stuff like this to people who are genuinely trying and not being a showoff. This is to knock overly arrogant kids down a few pegs, not send people into a shame self-doubting spiral, and Ice is usually pretty damn good at walking that line. 

Like, I imagine one of the students not understanding something to do with the physics portions of their classes and so he goes to Ice super nervous about getting reamed, and Ice is very patient with him. When Mav comes in and starts talking to Ice about instructor stuff, the student goes "oh, I can come back later, you know I think I'm getting it!" out of fear of wasting Ice's time and Ice would chuckle and be like "no, you clearly don't get it, and that's fine. Easier to teach you on dry land as opposed to up in the air, so let's keep working through it. Long as Mav's not about to talk to me about anything confidential --" which Mav shakes his head no "--alright, then how about you sit right there and keep working at it until you get it, and you will get it. If you've got the time, I've got the time, so let's get it done," and the kid stays in the office and keeps working at it for hours, occasionally checking his work with Mav and Ice until, voila, he does actually get it and also has a whole new understanding of Ice. 

Or if, god forbid, anyone had an accident, Ice would be all over trying to help with that (and help Mav work through it too) and protecting the students from any fallout from the brass because fuck them, they don't know what it's like to be in the air anymore. 

I also think that before the TOPGUN class starts, Ice would find Mav checking on all the canopies of all the jets and, once Ice realized that was what Mav was doing, would spend the next several hours with him helping out and making sure everything was operating properly, even though engineering had already looked at them. Can never be too sure, and if it provides Mav peace of mind, then Ice will do it, no questions asked. 

And so, despite saying some of the rudest crap most of these students have ever heard, they all love him. They all respect the ever-living-crap out of him, and learn to find him actually just kind of funny. It'd be a lot harder to like him if he were wrong, but he's so rarely wrong that in the end even the ones who do get pissed off at him manage to calm down. Students, as they graduate and leave TOPGUN, would probably talk to other graduating classes when they meet them on deployments like "oh my god, what did he say to your class?" "he once said --" "I didn't find it funny then but now I laugh every time I think about it -- " "he helped me figure out how to do..." so on so forth. 

There are a couple of the brass that aren't amused, but I think that's where Mav would come into play in his own way. Because Ice is good at what he does, and Mav sure as hell wants him around, and so should everyone else. Ice is just also not afraid to be an asshole about being good -- which the last person this is news to is Maverick. 

Maverick's just the only one Ice has encountered who can give as good as he gets, which is why as instructors, they do a pretty damn good job working together to whip their classes into shape. It's just funny that never in a million years did Mav think he'd be the "good cop" in their good cop/bad cop instructor situation, but he's resigned himself to his fate all the same. 

[karmaspidr]

If Your Friendly Neighbourhood Spider-Man were to somehow get a Runaways spinoff of some kind, I think it would be funny if the other kids don't know that Nico has Spidey on speeddial until just some random episode.

Nico: We need help. I'm going to call Spidey, see if he can swing over.

The Other Runaways: YOU KNOW SPIDER-MAN?!

Nico: He's my best friend.

Runaways: He's your WHAT?!?

[defectivegembrain]

Britta: *is visibly tired*

Abed: Is this because you stayed up all night with Troy?

Britta: Stayed up all night talking. About the inherent racism of the early women's movement. Also, how technology is shaping fourth wave feminism, but really also, um, if that water stain on the ceiling looks more like an acorn or Danny DeVito.

Abed: Troy talked about all that?

Britta: He may have mostly listened.

Abed: No wonder he's still sleeping.

[incorrect-maraudersaandco-quotes]

Sirius: Why does everybody always assume Lily has a plan? Maybe someone else has a plan. Lily: Good, go ahead. Sirius: No, that was just hypothetical.

[jadedgravity]

Marvel runaways textpost Pt. 4

[jaronxlordashcombe]

the difference between the two

Tobias: "Me and Amirinda are getting married!" Jaron with his sword out: " You interrupted our engadment!" Roden down on one knee with his sword out: "yeah tobias give us some space geez." Tobias:... Roden: "so anyway will you fight with me forever Jaron?" Jaron: "Yes I wil for the rest of my life." Tobias:"...what."

[issela-santina]

Bob while getting his hair bleached: [singing] I'm a blond bombshell and I wear it well ♪

Valentina: [vaguely recognizes the song but tries to be casual about it] your mama said you're going straight to hell

Bob: [continues singing] I'm sweet sixteen and I'm rebel queen and I look real hot in my tight blue jeans ♪

[incorrect-nightmares]

mono: what’s worse than being betrayed by a friend?

RK: stepping on a nome by accident and not being able to explain that you’re sorry

[briceterry]

Marie, rather quickly: Heeey, everybody, my name is Marie Cuttlefish, welcome back to Let's Play New Super Mario Bros. Wii, it's just me today, nobody else, nobody at all. Nobody. Nobody's here. Just me.

Shiver: I'm the Ghost of Christmas Past.

Frye: And present.

Bigman: Ay. (And future.)

[theshortangrylesbian]

Gert: You don't need my blessing to go kiss Nico. In fact, I was pretty sure you were already kissing Nico! 

Karolina: Nope. 

Gert: In that case, as the archbishop of Karolina's fully awakened gaydom, I give you my blessing to immediately leave and rectify that as soon as possible! Go now, my child, and kiss Nico right on the lips!!!

[resident-wof-expert]

Snowflake: Why should we ruin Prince Arctic's life?

Snowfox, pointing: 'Cause he's right there.

Snowflake: Can't argue with that logic. Let's do it.

[ascendanceseriesveteran]

Literally any enemy ever *slams Jaron against the wall*: Surrender now bitch.

Jaron:

Jaron: Are we about to kiss right now?

[karmaspidr]

Nico, on the phone: yawn Peter, it's two in the morning. You better be dying or I'll make you wish you were.

Peter: Heeey, Nico. Quick question, for the sake of clarity. Back in LA, you were friends with a girl who glows all of the colours of the rainbow, a girl with a pet raptor, a younger girl who is much stronger than he looks, and an idiot with gloves, right?

Nico, thinks back to the Runaways Lore Dumps she gave him: ...yes?

Peter: Yeah, I thought so. I just kicked their asses, sorry. Can you come pick them up?

Nico: Why the fuck are they... Yeah, sure. On my way.

[defectivegembrain]

Annie: We're all still at risk for a security breach. I suggest everyone change their passcodes on their phones and any other devices you have. Troy, do not change yours to "Abed".

Troy: *typing frantically* What? Oh, I wasn't changing it to "Abed". I so wasn't.

[kuroneko1815]

Funny little what if Callisto and Penelope ran away in Magic and Dragon Blood…

Callisto as a dragon, flies away with her on his back and finds a cave and turns it into a home for them. Penelope looks around and shrugs, she’s crafty with money and she’s been broke and poor before so she can do it. Making Callisto stick to a tight budget is a bit tricky at first but she threatens him with the revocation of certain… privileges.

Penelope looks around the cave and thinks of her room in Korea fondly: reminds me of home.

Callisto in dragon form looks at her incredulous: What the hell kind of life have you been living? You’re a rich girl! What kind of room did your Daddy Duke give you?

Penelope: look it’s even slightly damp and you can hear the water dripping all the time. (Refers to her leaky faucet)

Callisto is properly horrified.

When Callisto eventually returns to human form: Shall we reenact the night our daughter was conceived?

Penelope shrugs: Sure, why not? We’re going be living here anyway. There’s no use being celibate in our own home.