#intrustive thoughts tw

[freezerbnuuy]

Act 2:8- Give In (Page 4)

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CONTENT WARNING: intrusive thoughts, sexual references

Oskar

I take a stroll around Finchwick, as I have been the week that I've been here. Though Henford seems to never get any sun, or so Violeta says- I still haven't tested her theory that I won't burn unless the sun is out. She's living just down the road from me. It feels strange, almost claustrophobic being in such a small house, but it'll take a while before it truly feels like a home.

The nights are usually quiet, save for when the pub gets busy towards the end of the night. I try to avoid groups of people. I do notice an interesting-looking woman, standing on the corner by the pub, dressed in red silk- something that I suppose most would consider seductive. There isn't anyone else around; the pub seems to be quiet tonight. I figure I ought to talk to her. I wonder if there's a reason she's out so late.

She catches my attention before I even speak to her. She speaks to me in a soft and sultry voice.

"You look a little lost, darling. Been a long day? Maybe I can help you wind down a little, if you'd like."

"Oh, I'm quite alright, thank you. I prefer being out late. Less crowds."

She chuckles. Did I say something funny? Or is it my speech impediment that's making her laugh? Sometimes having fangs on both my top and bottom teeth is something of a curse. 

It's been ages since I've had a taste. I wonder what her blood tastes like-

No, not now. This is what I dreaded about coming to Henford. Violeta is right- we both needed a change of scenery, and I don't regret having my daughter on my doorstep- but I haven't had to wrestle with these thoughts for so many years. They were going to wreak havoc on me after so long of not experiencing them. I could barely cope with them back then. How long until forty-six turns to forty-seven? Forty-eight? Forty-nine, fifty, fifty-one, fifty-two- No, for Watcher's sake, stop...

"I see. So you're a gentleman of the night, are you? Someone as beautiful as you must be."

Beautiful? I haven't seen my reflection for almost one hundred and thirty years- sometimes it's hard not to picture yourself as some kind of bat-faced monster when your imagination has had to fill in the blanks. Most men would take such a compliment as an insult to their masculinity, but I certainly don't. If anything, it's oddly affirming.

I don't know what to say to her. Am I really so obviously a vampire to others? Is it the way I dress? Is it my speech? Do I even care if anyone finds out? Who would be brave enough to even try to stop me? Maybe she won't hate me for it, I suppose, but maybe my first week in isn't the best time to cause a stir like that.

"It's okay, sweetheart. I'm the same as you- standing on the edge of the street, sucking men dry for a living. You don't have to feel ashamed, I promise."

"Really? People pay you to drain them?" What a strange country I'm in. I didn't expect there to be vampire-friendly folk, let alone people who'd pay to have you drink their blood. Maybe I ought to change my mind on hiring an apprentice, and just find these odd people with fat pockets and peculiar interests.

The soft thudding of her heart...I can hear it from here. I'm sick to death of bloodfruit. What's stopping me? No-one else is around.

No, not this again. I have to focus on something else...the bats. I can stop myself this time, I know it. 

One bat, two bats, three bats, four bats, five bats, six bats, seven bats-

I bet her blood is sweeter than any confection...I should just give in. Innocent or not, what difference does it make? The way the fresh blood of a human warms your insides...don't you want that? Witnessing the growing pallor of their skin as you savour every last drop?

Maybe you should let go and become the monster everyone will accuse you of being once they know the truth about you-or maybe you already are the monster-

"Are you okay? Why are you counting-"

No! Don't stop me, or I'll hurt you.

"What are you talking about? We were just talking, you weren't doing-"

- thirteen bats, fourteen bats, fifteen bats, sixteen bats...

"Please, stop. I don't know why you're counting bats, but whatever it is, you don't need to."

I find myself sitting in the grass, with her hand on my cheek. Why is she helping me? I could've hurt her. Goodness, my first week in Henford and already someone other than Violeta has seen me like this.

"Don't touch me! I don't want to-"

"You weren't trying to hurt me, sweetheart, I promise."

I don't get it. Why is she so understanding of something no-one ever seems to understand? 

[faeryton]

thinkin abt omori specifically from an ocd perspective. in the final boss fight, omori is constantly, literally every turn, accusing sunny and harassing him and threatening him etc etc etc. on my most recent playthrough, it honestly shocked me how similar he sounded to my own intrusive thoughts. and even after all that sunny's done, you, the player, know: omori is wrong. sunny made a mistake. then he made another, and another and another and another until they piled up so much he couldn't bear to leave the house, and when he was home, he couldn't bear to leave his mind. even after all that: sunny still, absolutely, deserves to live. his friends love him. his friends care about him. his friends forgave him. his friends want him there, alive, talking to them, and if he can't talk then they'd be okay with him staying with them and if he can't stay then they'd be okay just knowing... he's alive.

[5-7-9]

Are the shadow people hiding the corpses of the dead homeless people?

[sadrottengirl]

Story masterlist [all tw]

1.

"Sorry"

.

.

.

I let out a quick breath leaning on my fisted hand the blinding lights of the convenient store was the only thing keeping me awake, "night shifts are the worst" I cried out.

I quickly turned my head towards the clock stuck onto the wall, my eyes sparked with joy "finally closing time!" my feet moved from behind the counter, so I could clean up the mess the store was.

I let out a huff going in the staff room, taking off my uniform and zipping my cream hoodie back up, I used the keys that where intrusted to me to close the staff room and turned off all the lights, before walking out and stopping in front of the door.

Then a feeling hit me, a feeling of dreed, disgust, fear? I closed my eyes, telling myself it was all ok it wasn't real, it was all in my head even if it's watching me from the corner of my eye it isn't there, i miss the keyhole three times I look down at my shaky hand and use the other to steady myself finally being able to close the door.

I pocket the key and hold onto the strap of my neck purse, the entire street was pitch black only getting slightly illuminated by the lampposts which weren't all working, I start walking at a normal speed my feet hitting the ground with each step making a soft click sound.

Click

Click

Click, click

My eyes widen slightly, now the steps where doubled not only mines but someone else's, I try to reason with myself 'it's just someone else who wants to get home! Just like me it's okay', i still quickened my speed, the steps still tailing me, I move on the other side of the street, the steps just a few feet away from me, I wanted to run scream but it would only make however was following aware that I was aware.

I put a hand into my pocket putting the keys in between my fingers as a makeshift weapon, my breath was uneven my heart pounding inside my chest, I shake off the feeling.

Then the lights started to flicker once then twice before, they fully turned off, I staggered for a second letting out a breathy laugh, I turned only for a second seeing the hooded figure quickly aprocing me, I decide to run, i could scream but I would just be ignore I had to keep all the breath I could to keep running.

I was now sure this person was out to get me, he was running too, following my every step, every turn and he was gaining up on me.

I Let out a sharp gasp my body stopping in it's tracks he had taken hold of Hood, I quickly turn using the Keyes to hit him in the eyes but he took hold of my wrist, I act withouta thought hitting him straight in the gut with my knee, he let's out a groan falling back slightly.

I remove myself from him before resuming my run I couldn't get far however, another man was blocking my way, I take a few steps back noticing he had a hatchet in his hands, 'this day fucking sucks!' i thought I took one step too many it seemed, as the man from before wrapped both his arms around my neck strangling me, I let out a choked sound "Jeff stop your gonna actually kill her" the other man walked closer "oh so now you grew a conscious?" the other man laughed out, "not at all, you know the orders we where given he wants her alive" they started to bicker going back an forth, their voices blending in as I faded in and out of consciousness my mind buzzing in static, "just ease up a little fuck" the man with he hatchet used his free hand to shove 'Jeff's' arms off of me I quickly fell onto the ground let out sharp quick breaths my vision spots of my vision gradually comming back "can you never follow simple instructions?".

I coughed up trying to sit up my lungs felt like they where on literal fire, "ugh fine, do whatever you want not like I was the one following her all day" 'Jeff' huffed, the other man rolled his eyes before crouching to my level, when he tried to reach for me I instinctively moved away eyes still watery as I continued to cough, he left out a quick sigh "sorry but your gonna have to come with us"

That was all I heard before passing out.

[roy-joe]

REQUEST - JIMMY MOUTHWASHING --- PET REGRESSION

NO NSFW under the divider, but there are warnings.

TW: Self harm, intrustive thoughts, mentioned SA

Characters and Fandom: Mouthwashing; Jimmy, Curly, ANya (mentioned) Polle (mentioned)

This is also found on my AO3! Link here -> : https://archiveofourown.org/works/64231159

{ NOTE } : im sorry for the amount of time this fic took !!! my other fics are expected to come more smoothly. i hope i portrayed pet reg well in this fic

~2800 words

The mechanical hums of the Tulpar seemed to overwhelm Jimmy more, his rushing thoughts all over the place just as he was, scrambling around the ship frantically without a clue on where he was even going. He had been tasked to do many things today, and he didn’t wake up right this morning. Jimmy was asked by Curly to monitor the systems and make any necessary corrections to the trajectory of the ship in the cockpit, then pestered by Daisuke to indulge in his rambles about his games, Swansea also had asked for help with… something, he had already forgotten by now. Didn’t Anya attempt to talk to him today? He didn’t remember, neither did he care about her.

Jimmy tried taking a deep breath, trying to reel his mind back to reality and get himself together, even by a little bit, but it was hard to keep his breathing steady when the walls of the ship seemed to close in on him. The Tulpar’s hallways felt suffocating and tight, the weight of his situation dawning on him, as if something terrible was going to come. The lack of windows and the artificial screens drove him crazy, reminding him that he was truly trapped in here, forced to take responsibility for manners which he believed just wasn’t his fault, more so someone else’s.

Putting a hand on the wall of the Tulpar, Jimmy could feel the cold metal numbing his palm as he held himself upright. He let out an annoyed groan, knowing he had to go to the cockpit to complete his tasks and having to endure the radioactive green lights and screens burn into his eyes again. The repetitiveness of the mundane tasks he was assigned to everyday stressed him out– so much so that he had taken it upon himself to enter the ‘nurse’s’ room one night, a temporary fix that brung even more problems.

Yet, how could he say that life on the Tulpar was depressing when his life on Earth was no better? He was haunted by reminders of how much of a failure he was everyday. Seeing his colleague, Curly, ace at nearly every challenge thrown at him was maddening. He was nothing like Jimmy, who lacked resolve. How could he continue to watch Curly live the reality that Jimmy could only dream of? The reality of having people close to you? The reality of being the envied, and not the envious?

Curly performs his job with professionalism and near perfection, he manages to maintain great relationships with the crew, making friendly chatter each day with everyone. He excels in everything that Jimmy would fall behind on or just give up entirely.

How could Jimmy compare? He could pick up Curly’s hobbies, try to style his hair in the same style Curly has, diminish and shut down Curly’s newest accomplishment each time he’d enthusiastically attempt to talk to him about it just to make himself feel better. No matter what Jimmy did, he was met with the same result of… being Jimmy. He’d never be like Curly.

Oh, how he hoped to go home now, back to that miserable life that had been established as his fate long ago. But as time slowly crawled by, he dreaded the moment he would go back to Earth. What would Anya do? Would he be arrested as soon as he stepped on land once again? He didn’t know if she’d dare to contact any authorities, perhaps he didn’t threaten that bitch well enough. Jimmy had pretended to not give a care in the world about it for too long, but the thought of going to jail because he couldn’t control his dick made his chest tighten and breathing quicken with a sudden hit of anxiety.

Shrill cries of a baby reverberated throughout the walls of the ship, sending sharp pains in Jimmy’s ears as it seemed to get closer. The wailing just seemed to bounce off the walls, coming from everywhere and nowhere all at the same time. The nonexistent baby felt so distant yet so close, its cries strained as if it were in distress.

He had heard it on occasion ever since he observed Anya a little closer, noticing how nauseous she’d get some “mornings”, the way she held her stomach with eyes void of emotion, it wasn’t just coincidental. But he never felt like walking up to her and confronting her about it, he didnt care about her baby that he convinced himself he wasn’t responsible for. It was her responsibility, anyway.

The crying progressively got louder, like there were multiple babies– all calling for their daddy. A cacophony of nothing less than suffering and yearning coming from all sides and piercing his ears for something they had never had, and will never have. Their brains, still in development, could never comprehend what they were even crying for, their screams nearly tearing their fragile vocal cords.

The blaring of an alarm drowned out the discord, loud and nearly deafening. The mixture of loud noises forced Jimmy to cover his ears, letting out a pained grunt. The bright red warning sign flashed through his vision, causing him to close his eyes, trying to escape the fabricated scenario. Was this what he would have to resort to?

[ CRASH IMMINENT ]

His legs shook before he fell to his knees, it felt as if he wasn’t in his own body anymore. He nearly choked on nothing, imagining himself adjusting the path of the ship, steering towards an unknown mass not too far away. It didn’t feel like he was looking through his own eyes anymore, the devastating consequences of the crash he made up in his head already haunting him, sending shivers throughout his body. 

[ CRASH IMMINENT ]

He had to do it, didn’t he? There was no way that whore’s pregnancy would go unnoticed, she might- no, will give birth on the damn Tulpar. She’d eventually have to confess that Jimmy raped her that day, there were only four men on this ship, there wasn’t room to lie. He couldn’t just run or hide away from his responsibilities nor his wrongdoings this time. The urge to scratch his skin off became stronger, and he couldn’t stop himself from hitting his own head to try and make it stop, it was as if his arm did it on its own.

[ CRASH IMMINENT ]

“Jimmy?”

Opening his eyes, Jimmy fixed his vision to that familiar face in front of him, the man’s features soft and concerned upon seeing his friend in such a state. It was Curly. By now, Jimmy was hyperventilating, his hair greasy from sweat. He was out of breath, feeling as though he had ran miles. 

Curly shook Jimmy to try and bring him back to his senses, concern painted all over the man’s features, his eyebrows were furrowed and there was a small frown on Curly’s face. His blue eyes seemed to glow even with the harsh lighting of the ship, those blue eyes Jimmy hated so much. He wanted to individually rip them out his fucking eyesockets, yet he wanted to stare into them for hours, get lost into them. Jimmy just wanted to crawl into Curly’s skin, he wanted to embody the man, become him.

Jimmy opened his mouth to speak, but the words seemed to be stuck at his throat, his eyes darted around the room before going back to meeting eyes with Curly, who was staring at him. Curly was observing him, trying to read his facial expressions for any hint on what was happening in that mind of his. Jimmy was never this distressed before, it was reasonable to be worried.

“Jimmy, talk to me.”

He still received no response, instead met with Jimmy nuzzling his head into Curly’s neck, letting out small puffs of air through his nose. It didn’t take too long for Curly to instantly catch onto what was happening with the sudden change in Jimmy’s demeanor.

Curly was aware of Jimmy’s coping mechanism, how he would regress whenever in a state of high stress, or just needing to disassociate from reality entirely. It was puzzling to navigate at first for Curly, especially as Jimmy had kept this completely hidden from everyone around him for the longest time. But he tried his hardest to support his friend through anything. Anything.

Jimmy definitely seemed unable to explain why he was in such stress to begin with, but Curly didn’t have much to do today- he’d just take over some of Jimmy’s tasks for him. It was only right to do, even if he was aware that Jimmy would never consider doing the same for Curly whenever he was at a low point in his life, even if most of Jimmy’s issues mainly stemmed from his own crimes and faults. This was his friend at the end of the day, Curly couldn’t bear to see him like this, so he’d do anything to help him.

Maybe in hopes of some sort of miracle for Jimmy to finally change.

---

With Curly leading Jimmy, the two went to Jimmy’s room. It was the better option, given that the room was Jimmy’s personal retreat which had subtle horse-related items and media inside, including the trappings of Jimmy’s life overall, shown through pictures, old and new.

Curly knew none of this would be deemed acceptable by Pony Express, both of their pays would’ve likely been docked if it was known Curly put tasks on hold to tend to Jimmy, but it wasn’t like it happened everyday. It was typically best to prioritize mental health and comfort when it came to Jimmy, especially when he was notorious for doing things impulsively.

They were situated on Jimmy’s bed. The mattress was hard and it felt like they were sitting on a rock, but it would have to work. Jimmy had discreetly brung horse ears and a fake tail on board for whenever he’d regress by himself without a caregiver, so he had that on as well. Jimmy stayed close to Curly, the only person he felt safe with despite his internal conflict.

He was mainly nonverbal whenever in his mindset, always keeping a Polle plushie nearby. It was merchandise sold by the company as a small cash grab, considering how expensive the low-quality item was.

Although for Jimmy, it was perfect. It was small and easy to take with for space travel, and the mere presence of the stuffed toy gave Jimmy solace amidst the severity of the consequences of his own actions. Jimmy couldn’t even think about any of the heinous acts he had done right now, much less worry about any of it. The air around him felt light, and he finally felt like he could breathe, no longer suffocated by the walls of the Tulpar.

“Do you want your collar?” Curly asks, his voice softer to avoid alerting Jimmy.

Jimmy immediately perked up at the mention of his collar, the customized one that Curly purchased for his birthday not too long ago. He wasn’t often regressed, especially when he had been preoccupied with work. He hadn’t seen his collar ever since he boarded the Tulpar.

Jimmy enthusiastically made a few quick nods, pawing at the bedding underneath him with his hands.

Curly went and rummaged through some of Jimmy’s stuff, most of the gear Jimmy needed while regressing hidden away under piles of his items so no one else, if they were to enter his room for some reason, could accidentally stumble upon them. The doors had no locks, after all.

He eventually found the collar, along with a bowl that was stashed away as well. It wasn’t put away very neatly, but it surprisingly wasn’t chipped or damaged from negligence. It just had some dust on it, which Curly just used his hand to brush off.

Firstly, he put the collar on Jimmy before feeding him, making sure it was secure but not too tight to the point of choking him. The embroidery felt textured and slightly rough on Jimmy’s neck, but it wasn’t too noticable. He got used to it after a while of wearing it. Jimmy physically felt warm once the collar was on, it felt so right and comforting. It had his name on it as well, making it all the more special. “Does it fit well, Jimmy?” Curly asked, using a hand to gently pat Jimmy’s head, running his palm along the length of his hair.

When Jimmy responded by leaning into Curly’s touch and fully relaxed his body, Curly knew he was content, and gave a small smile.

Curly had packed an assortment of berries and fruits for moments like these at Jimmy’s request before boarding the Tulpar, using specifically produced packaging to preserve the fruit. He stopped petting Jimmy to pour a generous amount of the fruit in the simple green ceramic bowl, having horse hooves drawn on it as part of the design.

As soon as the bowl was set in front of him, Jimmy immediately began to devour the berries inside. The food provided by Pony Express for their employees was nearly inedible, and was artificial to the point it tasted like plastic. The berries were a massive upgrade, and Jimmy couldn’t help himself but to shove his face into the bowl as he ate.

Curly chuckled, happy to see Jimmy at peace for once. He always looked troubled and never would open up to Curly often, his mental state just seemed to get worse over the years, he overall felt more distant. It tugged on Curly’s heartstrings seeing Jimmy feel comfortable enough to be vulnerable around Curly again.

When Curly thought that Jimmy would be perfectly fine by himself while he ran to go do Jimmy’s tasks for him, he quietly got up and tried to leave, but was stopped by a nudge on his leg.

“Jim…” Curly looked back, wanting to explain that he needed to do the tasks Jimmy was originally meant to do, but trailed off at the sight of Jimmy. His eyes were staring up at Curly with sadness and confusion, and it was clear he didn’t want Curly leaving.

With a sigh, Curly sat back down, reaching a hand to pat Jimmy and feel the soft fabric of his fake horse ears out of habit. He felt hesitant, but he decided to stay, just for Jimmy. The tasks weren’t that important right now. “Nevermind, it’s nothing. I’ll stay here with you, don’t worry.”

The two were in comfortable silence, they were much closer now, with the two laying down with Jimmy in Curly’s arms. Placed between them was the Polle plushie, which was tucked neatly and it kept some distance between the two of them. It was a silly thought, but the plushie was sort of like their child. Curly ran his fingers through Jimmy’s coarse, medium-length hair, feeling the rough texture of it, making Jimmy feel drowsy.

Jimmy could only feel tranquility wash over him, being around the things that truly put him at ease, whereas Curly could only feel emptiness creeping up on him. Draining Curly of any positive emotion even when Jimmy was in his arms, as close as they physically could be together, where everything should’ve been alright. It felt like everything was falling apart right now for Curly. He felt detached, disconnected from the world around him. Curly’s hands, the same hands holding and cradling his friend, felt numb.

He was all too aware of Jimmy’s behavior, all too aware of what he has done to his female coworker, all too aware of the violence and harm he’d inflict on others. All too aware of the things Jimmy had done to Curly. Curly just wished he was oblivious again. He could act like he didn’t know about the horrors Jimmy could do all he wanted, maybe even rip his eyes out so he couldn’t witness it any longer. But none of it was forgettable. Nor forgivable.

Curly made sure Jimmy was fast asleep before slowly sitting up on the bed, his back already aching from the poorly produced mattress they were provided with. He would’ve atleast appreciated better mattresses if they were only permitted to sleep for 4 hours. The food they gave to the employees at Pony Express clearly had no nutritional value whatsoever either, because Curly immediately felt lightheaded upon making the transition from sitting up to standing. He grunted and stiffly made his way to the door, his back practically screaming at him.

Before leaving, he paused at the threshold, taking a glance back at Jimmy. Curly held no contempt in his heart, he loved Jimmy so much, but the things Jimmy would do to others and to Curly made him want to hurl.

He dragged himself out of Jimmy’s room, deep in thought.

[vanilladaises-rp]

(tw: mentions of food, lmk if there is anything else! I worked a lot harder on this one so I hope you all enjoy it! Don't be afraid to ask questions! Also I'm so fucking happy I learned how to use the "keep reading" feature! Thank you for your support! 🫶🏻)

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐖𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐁𝐚𝐥𝐥

✧ 𝐍𝐚𝐯𝐢 ✧

Taking out the last batch of gingerbread cookies with a sigh, "Finished, now we wait." Felix said wiping his forehead with a "phew" motion. He had been working all afternoon on pastries and activities for the ball, baking desserts, setting up the ballroom and making any last minute adjustments. Earlier this week, him and Princess Chungha had decorated the whole castle inside and out, it was perfect, like a castle you can only dream out. It didn't matter how much time had passed, every time the castle was dolled and lit up it made his heart flutter. It may sound weird but he loved his kingdom and loved the history and memories it held within the walls.

This was no time to reminisce though, In just an hour his guests would arrive and begin to fill the empty festive halls. Once Felix was content with each room, he was lead to his chambers to change into his attire for the ball. It wasn't anything too flashy, he didn't want to overdress, afraid it may overwhelm his guests. It's silly, but Felix is an overthinker, he couldn't help but over observe every detail. The seemsist left his outfit displayed in his room once he arrived and left him with his dressers to change. It was a simple white button down with a brown sweater, and black shoes.

After adding some accessories, Felix headed down stairs and greeted his first guests. Princess Chungha, Jennie and Miyeon all three dress in beautiful dresses, colors canon to the theme of the ball, "Hello handsome Prince" Miyeon cooed dragging her finger across his cheek, sending him a wink. It had been awhile since they saw each other and with Irene out of the way, this was the perfect chance for her to have some alone time with him, "How about you show me around your castle?" She smiled linking her arm with his, making Felix's face heat up. Miyeon was stunning and confident but she secretly intimidated him and a was a little scared of her, "U-Um sure, I'll show both of you around" He quickly linked Jennie with his other arm, giving her a scared look with made her scoff and role her eyes, "This way" the poor prince gulped. He was already expecting to see (😆) tonight, so he didn't want Miyeon to get the wrong impression

While he was showing them around, a few more guest had arrived in some in sexy and some in cozy attire, "Wow, and I thought the outside was breathtaking . . . Look at this place" Agaped, Henry stood in shock staring at the castle's spectacular interior, smiling with stars in his eyes looking adorable in his cozy sweats. While on the other hand, Queen Sunmi stood their in her sexy fitting dress narrowing her eyes at the wizard as he gawked at Felix's decor, "Tch, I could do, . . No, correction, I have done better, this" she traced a circle in the air with her finger, referring to the decor "Is just a sliver of my capability" she scoffed in "as a matter of fact" tone with her arms crossed. "Don't listen to him" Jiwoo spoke up joining the two in her dress and black beret, "Henry is amazed by light switches, I know your ball would have been way better" She winked, linking arms as the Castle's Steward intrusted to sit in the dining hall, Henry stuck in a trance before following them.

"Anal makes your hole weak?" Seulgi repeated with furrowed brows trying to understand the punchline of Jungkook's joke. He chuckled at her puzzled face as she continued to think about it, "Cute" Jungkook mumbled, reaching to caress her face, that was until Soyeon pulled her back, "Sorry dear" She gritted her teeth, kicking Jungkook's shoulder blade making him fall forward and grunt in pain, "It seems I forgot to take out the trash before you came" hearing Jungkook groan in pain made her smirk, taking his place where he was sitting with Seulgi. She furrowed her brows but nodded with a smile, "Okay!" She agreed giving Soyeon a hug, making the tattooed women's eyes widened but soon she obliged and hugged her back "I'm Soyeon, what's your name dear?" She asked once pulling away, "stealing" Jungkook's move by caressing her hair, while an upset Jungkook sat there glaring at his friend "Fucking cockblocker" he spat , making Soyeon Scowl. Jungkook rolled his eyes until he realized, (🖕🏻) was coming tonight. They weren't super close yet, but he was excited to see her outside of the shop.

"How long are you going to stare her down? Lee know chuckled at Irene, the two of them sitting on one side of the carriage while Sana was on the other. Irene had pick the two of them up, insisting she'd give them ride, once they arrived, she park the car and rode the carriage up the hill to Felix's castle, "Until my eyes can burn holes in her skin" She mumbled back, making Lee Know laugh some more, Sana being completely oblivious of her staring as she was too in awe at the pretty scenery. Irene was very much aware that (🗝️) had been giving the pretty psycho more attention, following her like some lovesick puppy. It was revolting to say the least, after everything she had done for him, this is how he repays her? No, she will not accept that, Irene would set the whole world on fire if it meant having you to herself, "Well, I'll tell you one thing" spoke Lee know, breaking Irene away from her thoughts, "Sana may seem harmless, but she is more psychotic than she appears to be" He warned. Irene scoffed, rolling her eyes at his words, Irene didn't care how crazy the pink princess was, if blood needed to be spilt, so be it. "So am I" she whispered in Lee Know's ear as they arrived.

Entering the common room, Princess Chungha sat down on the couch with a sigh of relief, "See it's much more warmer in here" She smiled looking over at the fire. The princess had just arrived after picking up her two vampire friends, "Are you sure we won't get in trouble?" Mina chuckled sitting down next to her. The princess rolled her eyes and smiled back at Mina, "Don't worry, I helped him decorate and we're friends so he won't mind us snooping around" She grabbed Mina's hand to reassure her. The two chatting and giggling as Chungha told her how flustered Felix was when decorating "He was running around like chicken with its head cut off" Mina chuckled. While the two were conversing, Leo sat on the couch on the other side of the coffee table, he didn't seem shy or awkward, just quiet, "Your friend okay?" Chungha asked sending Leo a smile. The man was tall, handsome, and definitely her type, but he seemed a little too "tsundere" for her "Yeah he's fine" Mina looked at Leo, sending him a concerning look, wanting to make sure he was okay. In response Leo gave the two a small smile and nodded at Mina, assuring her he was fine "Just not much of a talk" She added.

"Awe she's your girlfriend?" Hongjoong smiled as the wolf showed him a picture of Joey (🥟). Matthew chuckled "No, not yet at least" He smiled "I've only met her a few times but she is sweet and funny" swiping through his pictures he lands one he took at your first dance practice, beaming at how cute you looked "And she's beautiful which doesn't hurt" Hongjoong chuckled and rolled his eyes. Matthew and Joey hadn't known each other long but he really did care for her and was excited to see her tonight, "She is a beauty" said a dark figure coming from behind the two. Bobby stood there staring at the picture on Matthew's phone. The wolf narrowed his eyes, feeling uncomfortable with Bobby's stare and the way he spoke about Joey. "Thanks, um" He looked at Hongjoong who was glaring at Bobby, "Ready to go?" The wolf got up and headed towards the door of Hongjoong's house, his first impression of Bobby was not the best so he made a mental note to keep an eye on him tonight, especially around Joey.

Everyone was almost here, just a few more and then the ball would begin. While waiting, all the arrived guests sat in the dining hall waiting to be served their meals, "You've only kissed her?" Nayeon chuckled, making the poor wolf's ears turn red, he bit his lips nervously "Well yeah, we've only been one date together?" Chan spoke with a puzzled face, he was confused on what the witch was declaring, "And you've only kissed her? Tch, if you don't rail her soon she'll get bored" Nayeon continued to laugh as they enter the dining hall, "Not everyone thinks about sex" spoke up an annoyed Changkyun. Nayeon had spoke the entire way here and needless to say to say, Changkyun wouldn't be upset if he never heard her voice again, "Is that true? Does Emry (🍓) really think I'm boring?" The puzzled Chan thought out loud. He knew things were still fresh with her but he never stopped to think if he was too cautious with their relationship, "If she didn't like you, she wouldn't be coming tonight" Changkyun patted Chan's shoulder, "Plus Nayeon is the worst person to take advice from when it comes to love" He scoffed making the wolf chuckle. His words definitely made Chan feel more relieved, but couldn't shake the thought off.

"We wouldn't have been late if you knew how to fucking give directions!" "It's not my fault you can't fucking hear!" "Would you two stop fucking yelling!?" The tattooed man sighed rubbing his temples. If Woosung would've known riding with two of the toughest men would lead into them arguing like a bunch of kids, he would've just rode with Soyeon. "We're in a goddamn castle for Christ's sake, I know were late but we're here now, so shut the fuck up and calm down!" Woosung was never one to yell, but until you have been in a car with Taehyung and Wonho, you won't understand the torture he has been through. "Whatever, I only came here for my friend" Tae rolled his eyes, he has never been good at making friends but tried his best for (🐶). Tae didn't want to cause a scene and embarrass her. "So you came here to fuc-" "Nope, we're not fighting again. You two need to chill" The tattoo artist sighed "Should've just stayed home" he thought. "There you are, I thought you all got lost" Felix smiled interrupting Woosung's thoughts, but his expression soon changed seeing the irritated looks on the mens face "Um, T-This way" He gulped.

˖ ࣪ . 🦢 ࿐ ♡ ˚ .

"Thank you everyone for coming" Felix spoke with a shaky voice, fixing his colar as Chungha smiled giving him a thumbs up. "Food is ready, but you are welcome to roam wherever you'd like" He stated more proudly this time, "We have the ballroom to dance, Projection rooms for films, and the spa is also open" Felix for the first time felt proud of himself for accomplishing such a big event, he planned out every activity, pastry and meal. "Please enjoy yourselves" The night has begun and he only hoped for the best.

tags: @idontlikelizards @honey-beaut @livealittleoc-cb @luxora @halloween-idols @nana-n-nono @angelsxdemons-cb @wiickedxgood @bunnybubchan @lowblotrp @moonlightchn @welcome-to-maniac @dia-oc @writingstuffandmore @zzzhoonie @k-venturetime @badbf-cb @evicted-oc @yanderexmuses @thisisnoteuropeanstyle @oc-honeys

These muses would like to see you under the mistletoe...

(🥟) Matthew, (🍓) Bang Chan, (🖕🏻) Jungkook, (🐶) Taehyung

(🗝️) Sana, (😆) Felix

[freezerbnuuy]

Act 2:12 - Back in Business (Page 4)

LORE | CHARACTERS | ABOUT / CHAPTERS / WARNINGS

← PREVIOUS | BEGINNING | NEXT →

CONTENT WARNING: intrusive thoughts, harm done to a minor (doesn't happen, appears in imagination)

Oskar

The day had been fine. Good, even. Once the night comes around, I sense another spiral coming on. Eli is asleep in his room. It must be past midnight. 

I've been sitting here in the same place for hours, trying to erase any thought that comes into my mind.

The fish blood had done little to curb the bloodlust. Even from the other room, I could sense it. The gnawing hunger spreads throughout my entire body.

I have to keep telling myself that I'd never hurt him. Neither Violeta or I have ever, or would ever harm a young person, but I know my own mind would convince me otherwise. It's already trying its hardest. I can already picture myself biting his neck. I would never do it, but the images are crystal-clear in my mind, taunting me.

I wouldn't do it. I know I wouldn't do it. I wouldn't hurt the boy, let alone drink his blood.

You would do it. 

No, I wouldn't. Not under any circumstance. 

I find myself counting the bats again. As usual, it's not making any difference, but it'll only get worse if I stop.

The images grow more vivid. This time, the boy is dead on the floor, and it's my fault.

There's a voice. It's Eli. 

thirty-two, thirty-three, thirty-four, thirty-five...

"Oskar? What's going on? Why are you-"

"Eli, don't stop me."

"I'm confused. Why are you sitting-"

"You're not safe here, Eli.

"What are you talking about? Why are you sitting on the-"

"Eli, listen to me! You're not-"

"Oskar, calm down. Listen to me."

The world gradually fades back in. The room is dark, and Eli is standing above me, wide-eyed.The image of his soulless body flashes through my mind as I look at him. Dead, alive, dead, alive, like some kind of twisted experiment. 

"Why are you sitting here? What's wrong? Why don't you think I'm safe?"

I don't say anything to him. I'd take feeling nothing over feeling this. I'll have to get used to it if Eli is to live with me for so many years, but how? Nobody else knows why this happens. I don't know how to properly deal with it, and I don't want to tell Eli anything- not about my vampirism, not about my afflictions. I hoped he'd never see me like this, but he doesn't seem worried, and he doesn't seem afraid.

 I find myself curled up on the floor clutching my chest, trying to ease the cold, crushing feeling inside of it. I feel a warm hand on my shoulder.

"Are you worried about something?"

"I'm fine, Eli."

"Oskar...is there something...going on?"

"Going on? What are you talking about?"

His voice doesn't change. He doesn't lose his patience, and he doesn't falter. 

"Well, my father would call it a 'weakness of temperament', but I don't want to call it that," Eli replies. "My father deals with those sorts of things all the time. You don't need to be ashamed. I'm not judging-"

"Eli, I told you, I'm fine!"

"My father might possibly have something that might-"

"I'm not paying your father for anything. Even if he had the cure to all ills, I wouldn't give him a Simoleon."

"That's not what I mean, Oskar. If one unit went missing...I doubt he'd notice-"

"Eli, you're not risking yourself for me. I'll be fine. Go back to bed."

With a sigh, Eli retreats to his room, and I make my way next door to Violeta. She's sitting in low light reading a book. We haven't spoken much; she's been busy with her art classes, and they seem to be going well.

[sammydem0n64]

The date is March 23, 2021. You’re turning 15 in a few days. Your mother always counted down the days until your birthday, she liked to plan ahead, even if it was a whole year before. Like you, things are changing around the forest. Wolves are taking their Humanoid shape and getting closer to the roads, the bat people are, too. It seems that the forest is allowing itself to grow, to interact with the people with round ears, five fingers, and- in your case- straight legs. Despite the friendliness between the shapeshifters and the humans, your mother warns you about going towards the road.

You aren’t a shapeshifter, but you are a humanoid. Your legs bent backwards at a sharp angle, and then forward again. Your ears are large and sit at the top of your head. Your freckles are white, contrasting your tan complexion. Your antlers are small, barely grown in yet despite your age. Humans would call you a Satyr, but they would be wrong, you don’t have the parts of the goat.

Mother told you stories of how the roads were dangerous, large... things will come and go, speeding across the pavement. Sometimes they would hit the animals of the forest. Your mother didn’t want you getting the same treatment as the animals, especially since the creatures that you resemble most, with their large antlers and thin legs, are known to get hit by those speeding monsters. You stayed away from the road as much as you could, you are a good kid, you never disobeyed your mother. But, today was different.

The roads didn’t seem cruel. Rarely did you see one of those monsters zoom past the forest, at least from where you lived. On the off chance you did see one of those things, they never treaded at high speeds. They went sort of slowly, if you’re being honest. You didn’t believe that those things could kill you. Even if they were fast, you believed you were faster.

You didn’t want to feel like an outcast, seeing all the shapeshifter kids make human friends made you feel left out. Never once did they get hit while on the road. Alas, your mother was protective, and when she wasn’t there to coddle you, you still listened to her word. She wasn’t with you right now, she was home, preparing a meal or planning your birthday again, you didn’t know. Eitherway, this was your chance to see the roads up close and personal... maybe even... cross.

Not only were you not allowed to go anywhere close, crossing the road was strictly forbidden. Even when your curiosity peaked, you would be shut down with excuses like “The other side of the forest is the same as this one” and “Why make such a hassle when you have all that you need here, away from the road”, but this was your Bad Boy Spring. You were going to cross that road, no matter how bad your anxiety was. You made it to the edge of the forest, where the trees meet the grey pavement. You took a deep breath, all you had to do was take a few steps and you’ll be on the other side, then you can immediately go back and lie to your mother for the rest of your life.

You take a step forward, but your mind begins to wander.

What if your mother did find out, what would she do? You disobeyed her rules, you put yourself in danger! All for what? Your own curiosity? Oh god, how would she react...

She could ground you for the rest of your life. She could burst into tears since you broke her heart and trust. She could yell at you and cause a fit. Oh no, what if she hated you. What if she hated you for the rest of your life.

No, no you can’t let that happen. Then again, what if she doesn’t see through the lie? You don’t have to make it incredibly elaborate, if she asks where you were just say you were taking a stroll like usual. But what if the guilt sets in, you’ll have to live with the fact you lied to your mother for... forever. Until you die, you lied to her over the one thing she didn’t want you to do, for your safety! You are a terrible son.

Ok... just turn back. No, no you can’t, you already came out here, this has been your dream, you can’t just turn back now. It’ll be quick. But what if it’s not. What if it takes forever. But what if it’s quick, too quick.

What if your mom was right. What if you get hit. What if you get hit and you die right there. She’ll see that you didn’t come home and go looking, and after a few hours she’ll see your dead body in the road, dead. She warned you, and now you’re dead. Congrats.

Then the meaner thoughts came in.

What if you purposefully got hit by the thing.

You’re a terrible son for even considering this, you piece of scum. You’re horrible, disgusting. You’re breaking her trust, her heart and even her love for you just by being here. You’re despicable.

Get hit by the monster.

You’ll never get past the guilt, it’ll eat you up from the inside. You’ll go to bed crying every night because you lied about this little adventure. Your mother will still love you, but you don’t deserve it. She’ll die happy that you never crossed a road, but you’ll sit next to her on her death bed knowing you lied to her, that you did cross a road, and she’ll die unware. What if you told her right then and there, when she’s dying, so her final breath will be filled with disappointment and disgust.

Internalize all of this, Wendell. You deserve it.

What if you got hit by the thing, by the monster, wouldn’t that be funny.

Get hit-

You were so caught up in your thoughts that you didn’t realize you were in the middle of the road, halfway to your destination. You let your anxiety get the best of you again. It’ll only get worse from here, but at least you’re at the midpoint.

Then you heard a noise. The sound broke you from your intrusive thoughts immediately. It was loud, and only getting louder as the seconds go by. Like it’s getting closer. You turn to face the noise, and there you see one of the monsters. Inches away from you.

You froze, looks like you were gonna die on this very day. Your thoughts were right, congrats on getting hit! Despite one of the many thoughts being right, your brain continued to scream at you, telling you to move. But you couldn’t. You were too scared, you just had to accept your fate. You couldn’t even close your eyes.

But.

Then it stopped.

The monster stopped in it’s tracks.

Your body started working again, you blinked, and started to breath. You breathed in and out. It was too quick, but you were having a moment, so you didn’t stop yourself to take slower breaths. The monster... opened itself? It’s side flung open like a door, and something stepped out. It ran to you.

It had round ears, a dark complexion, it grabbed you by the arms of your sweater with its five fingers. It looked as panicked as you were. It was moving it’s mouth like it was talking, but you couldn’t hear a word of what it was saying, you were far too out of it.

Something managed to come through, finally.

“Are you ok?” The question came out in a worried tone. You shake your head, not as a response, but to snap yourself out of your daze. You glance down.

It has straight legs.

A human popped out of that monster.

You felt like you were gonna pass out.

You zoned out again.

You realized you probably should have listened to your mother.

[afton-robotics-llc]

I like pulling weeds because I’m reminded of the feeling of yanking a limb out of the socket.

[pattonsfam-ily]

You might need help. But it's not like you want these thoughts. They're horrible and icky. It would be one thing if you wanted these thoughts or found it fun. But you hate them.

Sure but you can hate things about yourself that are true :) -Remus

[normal-with-adhd-is-a-joke]

affirmations for combatting intrusive thoughts about a loved one's potential upcoming death below

This is not your fault, nor is it a higher power punishing you for some wrongdoing, specific or general.

You are not "cursing" or "jinxing" the situation by hoping and praying that things will improve.

Everyone dies eventually. Continuing to put your life on hold to worry won't make them better.

You can't heal someone else by making yourself suffer.

Continually checking on them isn't necessary. If there's a big change, someone will alert you of it.

It's ok if they pass away without you by their side. It happens all the time. It doesn't mean you're a bad person or you failed them. It just means you're human and it's not sustainable for you to be on call 24/7.

Other people's loved ones heal or don't heal without giving in to obsessions or following through on compulsions. How this situation plays out has nothing to do with the behaviors or thoughts caused by your OCD. Your OCD cannot positively or negatively affect this situation in any way other than wearing you out.

[mathematical-cheese]

This is just going to be a bit of a vent about intrusive thoughts.

I've been struggling with these intrusive thoughts about my relationship with my friend all day. I know logically that they reciprocate my feelings for her, they said so yesterday but there's this constant drone that I'm annoying her or that I've upset them or that I'm not enough. I feel so guilty for having them, like I'm letting my friend down. I don't know, it's hard to put this sort of thing into words.

[buckyhoney]

hey there! so I deal with intrusive thoughts a whooooole lot too but I’ve found that just researching about them a whole lot and reading on them helps quite a bit. scientifically/psychologically, intrusive thoughts are things that you don’t want to happen or that you don’t believe in and one of the best ways to kind of overcome them (as much as possible) is to try not to ruminate on them and stuff. usually when I get them I just do my best to be like “whatever it’s just random thoughts” and take away all of their importance. I know it’s a lot and it wasn’t overnight but I promise after a while of repeatedly taking away the importance of them just little by little, it helps 🥰 I also read a really good book (I think it was this one) that put a lot of it into perspective for me personally. as for other remedies for compulsions, I’m still working on that one LMAO so if anyone else sends in anything, I’d love to hear that too 😅

thank you babes! you're appreciated a ton <3

[sammydem0n64]

My window: [Doesnt have a screen cause my parents are replacing it, so the old one is now removed]

Me: :)

My intrustive thoughts: Haha what if you... jumped.... or fell.... wouldn’t that be... funny.... why don’t you stick your legs through the opening.... or maybe just your upper torso...

Me: :(

[somepissyartist]

h h okokok

so actual question for ppl who get intrusive thoughts

are intrusive thought attacks a thing?? like panic attacks or asthma attacks just fucking Hit and you can’t really do anything??

cause h m m