#it doesnt change. that my comms are open!!!

[deoidesign]

I'm opening commissions!

10 slots!!!

Bust shots - $100 USD per character Half Body - $125 per character Full Body - $150 per character Simple BG included!

Examples of my art:

I also do Digital paintings, Animations, Comic pages, and Character design!

If you're interested, you can inquire for a quote

Feel free to DM me or email me at deo@deoidesign.com with inquiries!

Thank you!

[cheswirls]

this yr of studio art classes was so funny bc in the fall it was an entire semester of intensive painting/pixel art for nature landscapes and in the spring i took all of that and did jack shit. didn't improve a damn thing. what do you mean learn to draw buildings and objects and inanimate things no????? if its not alive i don't wanna < said someone who did the most zoomed-in illustrations in the middle of cityscapes as physically possible to avoid drawing roads/windows/towers/streetlights/etc

[charliebot-art]

alright fine you twisted my arm i watched the murderbot show

obligatory acknowledgment that we’re only like 3 episodes in and also im not saying anything that hasn’t already been said. but its my blog so

pros:

-i really liked that opening. do you think they’ll ever make merch? i would absolutely kill for a little muderbot doll like that Q_Q

-yippee yay muderbot yay!! *runs around whipping it around in my mouth like a dog with its favorite chewtoy* yay muderbot yippee!!!!

-the set design is rly cool, and i rly like the outfits! the casting is pretty good, i rly like the actor they got for Mensah, shes good

-Ratthi yelling over the comm was really funny. solid ratthi moment

-gurathins nail polish

-muderbot being smooth down there like a ken doll

-i liked the murderbot gore, especially the part where the “cubicle” (tho its not rly a cubicle anymore, i guess this has better camera angles) patched it up

-i also like mbs internal snark, its funny and in character and keeps the show pretty firmly in mbs head

cons:

-im sad theres no overse or volescu, but more than that im frustrated they decided to remove them AND change pin-lee and arada’s personalities as much as they did. like, i understand objectively that they didn’t want to have a crowded cast and focus on more key players, and they can always be brought in later, its just frustrating

-did not really appreciate the gawky attitude towards the “hippies”, or the poly relationship, or the it/its pronouns, or they way they made arada into the “um actually” animal rights activist lisa simpson of the group. not that i expected apple to handle any of these subjects respectfully but its still. frustrating.

-i get what theyre going for with the restructuring of murderbots timeline, like how they have it to have just recently borked its governor module and therefore a lot more fumbling and panicked, but its also frustrating because it smoothes over some of the really compelling parts of murderbots personality! for instance, the part where its going into the deltfall facility, even though it knows its dangerous, even though mensah tells it not to, it cant really justify why its doing this to the audience. the only explanation is a kind of half-assed “i had to get curious” but it doesnt act curious. in the books, it goes into deltfall because it wants to kill the other secunits. this is the thing i think is really missing from tv!mb, where is the blood thirst?? (granted it does have its little murder fantasy in the first episode, but it drops that pretty quickly and it never gets brought up again) tv!mb is missing one of the most compelling elements of book!mbs personality: the broiling undercurrent of depression/rage. thats the thing that justifies it staying with the company, thats the thing that justifies it going after secunits it doesnt have to go after, thats the thing that justifies it putting up with everything its put up with. its also part of just what makes murderbot a murderbot, like, it calls itself that for a reason!

-i dont particularly care for the drawing out of muderbot and gurathins cat fight. feels pointless, and gurathin is honestly being just a little bit too mean, without the justification. im sure well get tragic backstory about how gurathin saw his parents get murdered by secunits (maybe they’ll even be some of the people mb killed in its flashback??? putting money on that now) but its just awkward more than anything

-all of this on top of the knowledge that were going to soon be getting that annoying corprim girl joining the gang is just like, not filling me with hope! theyre going to bring her back from deltfall, arent they? shes going to be the sole survivor. god if she fucks with mensahs bad ass mining drill moment …………………

-im completely on the fence about how theyre handling mensah. on one hand, i like that theyre touching on some of her later development; her struggling with pressures of leadership and ptsd, her lack of consideration for her own comfort or safety in favor of other peoples, her cutting off her friends and family from the reality of her struggles, thats all good! but it feels a bit early, knowing that she hasn’t been through all of the things she will later on. idk shrug. its not bad or anything. just interesting.

anyhoooo thats all ive got for now. not terribly surprised, not terribly impressed, but it also could be a lot worse. solid 5/10 so far.

[fermentingdragon]

if any place is appropriate for selfship cringe i think its tumblr so i give you me, secondo and our hideous sons who look suspiciously like a different (runt) emeritus

also this secondo cosplayer from my ritual who doesnt even know he forever changed my brain chemistry

i gazed at him lovingly like one might gaze at mama perhaps

(ps: my comms are always open, you just have to wait for me to post the sheet on the gram of insta)

[scummy-writes]

I will elaborate for a small aside.

-> people who create fanworks are not obligated to cater to an audience at every moment. It is very nice when they do cater to others, in the forms of requests, gifts, etc. However, when someone is sharing something they created for their own personal happiness, keep in mind the sharing aspect. They shared this with you, they did not make it for you.

-> this is not me saying fuck xyz hcs/reader inserts. I am just saying if I walk into a wendys, I am not demanding the service akin of a five star restaurant. If you would like people to create Y content instead of X, politely ask them if they have reqs or comms open and go from there. This is not smth that should be an obligation, is what im trying to say. Most of everything I create are daydreams I had that are catered to my own likes, tastes, etc. I may change a couple of things inbetween posting, and I am willing to do my best to tag everything appropriately, but my god is it infuriating getting shit like "i don't see him as submissive, that doesnt fit his character at all, i-" like ok? Go read shit that has him dominant and leave me alone. I'm a random nerd on the internet workin 40 hrs a week writing shit in my freetime, don't scold me as if I'm a major bestselling author or some shit, just move on.

-> fan creations are for exploring what canon has not/did not explore, as well as expanding on what was established in canon. I want to drill this into peoples heads. Its for exploring. It does not, and never will be, 100% canon compliant as we are not creators for the media this is based off of. Its for havin fun!!!! Treat it as such!!!!!!

I think fandoms as a whole, not singular specific fandoms, have ramped up this odd entitlement with people who create. Vaguely I am aware that this is an issue that has been around for years and years, but I think it's gotten worse with more and more people getting involved with reading fanfiction and eying fanart.

The entitlement is the age old issue of assuming that those who are creating, must create what you want to see. Must create how you view the characters or media, rather than the reality of fan creations being for the people who make them.

It turns into those who create getting odd criticisms. "We didn't see this in canon", "you like viewing him like X when I view him as Y, X is wrong", "I wish you didn't write scenarios with this type of reader insert, this isn't fair to me"

Why do we spit back at people who spent their free time creating! I think it's so stupid to see a piece someone spent hours on, only to go and comment "this doesn't suit my tastes so... :/ you should think about others more when you create for yourself."

And because of this, it's led to people more and more scared to explore ideas. To create ocs. To just TALK about what they've been musing about. Our blogs are not supposed to be consumable to everyone in the fandoms, its supposed to be an archive of OUR thoughts, ideas, fun ramblings, and what we have created. Why are people treating fan creations on the same level as triple A studio creations. We're just fucking nerds having fun about our current interests, what is the damn point in the demand that it must be widely consumable to Everyone and Everyone Elses ideas. God.

* This is not about when fandoms discuss legitimate criticisms/concerns about homophobia, racism, sexism, etc etc. being prevalent in fanworks.

[bowtiestash]

Commissions are open! Reblogs are appreciated :^)

Please refer to this google doc here for more commission information. (Open slot information will be included in it.) I will be taking commissions via my commiss.io, where you can request a project. 

If you have any inquiries, please EMAIL me at bowtiestash@gmail.com! Since I am not so active on tumblr, it may take a while for me to get back to you if you DM me here. 

If you’d like to support me but can’t afford a commission, there’s also my ko-fi you can donate to. Any little donation/commission helps loads, especially since I can’t handle a job right now. 

[two-sibyls-tall]

I bullet-point planned out a batfam fanfic aWHILE ago but I am Bad At Writing full-fledged stories so I’m going to just throw it out in the open here in the hopes that ya’ll will appreciate it, and also that mayhaps someone else who is Good At Writing will find it and make it.

So. Here’s my take on a Reverse!Robins Dimensional Travel fic.

Damian:

Starts off with Robin!Damian seeing a black-robed uniform that’s awfully similar to the League of Assassins gear. Which is. Worrying. to see in Gotham.

Robin!Damian sneaks up on him to figure out wtf he’s doing.

Nightwing!Damian, aka the black-robed figure, calls him out. Possibly even makes an offhanded joke about how R!Damian shouldn’t be wearing bright ass colors if he didn’t want to be seen.

R!Damian catches sight of the Nightwing logo on N!Damian’s chest and proceeds to demand who he is

N!Damian recognizes R!Damin’s pattern of speech and essentially goes “oh fuck”. Reveals himself as Nightwing, aka Damian Wayne.

R!Damian immediately thinks of the Heretic. He calls for backup in code via comm link.

N!Damian is on the same comm channel, so he hears the responses to the code even if he doesn’t recognize the code itself. He’s semi-annoyed and starts running

R!Damian is IN PURSUIT.

N!Damian gets yoinked back to hid own dimension

R!Damian meets up with Nightwing!Dick and says something along the lines of “the assailant disappeared but who tf was that.”

Jason:

It’s a couple days later now.

Red Robin!Tim has already started working on a multiverse-type theory and let Red Hood!Jason know, so honestly RH!Jason isn’t terribly surprised when he comes across a vaguely familiar vigilante beating the shit out of a criminal in Crime Alley.

New vigilante introduces himself as Redbird

RH!Jason goes across comms to ask Tim how tf he should be handling this shit?

Redbird visibly freezes up when RR! does the classic “no names in the field” chastise

RH!Jason straight up asks Redbird if he can hear the comms bc who needs to be subtle.

When Redbird confirms, he just sorta sighs and gives a code to O. There’s a bit of yelling while the team processes the possibility of compromised comms.

It calms down again, and RR!Tim is like “okay the evidence is pretty clear here if you ask me,, Redbird I think you’re from another dimension. Do you recognize any of us?”

Redbird is like “well I’ve only actually caught one of your guys’s names so far, but yes I. Know. a Tim. He doesnt sound like you anymore, though”

RH!Jason is like ‘hmm we’re gonna put a pin in that one for now’

Meanwhile RR!Tim is talking to Redbird about going to the batcave and also maybe running some tests to figure out where they’re coming from and what’s going on here

Redbird shrugs and mentions that this whole situation sorta seems like what his brother was talking about a few seconds before he jumped dimensions.

“Is your brother Damian Wayne, aka Nightwing?”

“Fuck. Yeah, that’s him.”

At this point RH!Jason connects the dots an goes “ah shit, you’re me aren’t you.”

Redbird!Jason gives the most dramatic eye-roll possible and is like “bro we went from Redbird to Red Hood? That’s so lame. Why’d we even change it.”

RH!Jason just looks at him. “No dude we went from Robin to Red Hood. because we died.”

“NEWS TO ME???”

They've been heading to the batcave during this conversation

They walk in and RR!Tim's already there and he's like "Jason stop freaking out mini you this is clearly a different universe he might not even die."

Redbird!Jason is completely frozen staring at (unmasked) Tim and just kinda whispers "Tim?" And then he gets yoinked back to his universe.

Tim and Jason look at each other and Jason's like "so that's definitely not a good sign for what happened to you in their universe, right?"

Dick:

Nightwing!Dick is in the Batcave w/ most of the family discussing the dimension travel shit when he suddenly feels like he's being watched

He puts the meeting on pause and the feeling increases and he just looks straight up and sees golden eyes staring at him from the rafters

The other Batfamily members in attendance also look up and go what !! the fuck !!

NW!Dick knows about the whole 'Haly's circus being a theoretical breeding ground for the Court of Owls' thing bc I said so, so he already feels like he knows whats goin on

before anyone can say anything he just clears his throat and says "Gray Son?"

Batfamily freezes in shock and the small child w/ gold eyes just tilts his head in recognition and then jumps down from the rafters w/ no hesitation

He lands right next to NW!Dick and stands at attention, and Dick kinda feels sick bc Talon!Dick is like 8 years old

NW!Dick looks at the batfamily and makes some joke of like "haha looks like it’s my turn for the alternate dimension encounter"

RR!Tim is already taking notes

Bruce's put it all together and he's like "fuck. Little you is a Talon."

Cue the batfamily losing their shit again

Talon!DIck is looking between all of them confused, and he notices Damian just deadlock staring at him, and he's like Oh!! I know this one !!! so he stares back

RR!Tim is like "okay fantastic, well between Talon and Nightwing!Damian I think I can confidently guess by now that their dimension is one where all of our ages are reversed. Hey Talon do u wanna confirm that."

Talon is Very Helpful and nods, and Nightwing!Dick is like "alright buddy do you wanna tell us about ur dimension"

Except Talon doesnt really talk but !! he does sign!! his big sister cass has been teaching him sign !!

NW!Dick is like “thats great!! I know sign!!” and he starts relaying info to RR!Tim so he can take notes while Talon talks

Talon tells him that Tim From His Universe (and Dick isnt going to unpack yet why Tim’s namesign is a T drawn in the shape of a smile) has also put together that they’re going to a different universe

He says there was a case that the 4 nightshift batboys were on (girls were working a different case, Batman is offworld) w Oracle leading ofc that was selling alien technology

he says the 4 nightshift batboys were hit w a beam that didnt seem to do anything, but Tim of His Universe thinks that beam just had a slower affect and is what’s causing this

He says his big brother damian was the first to just randomly disappear mid mission and it gave Talon a scare bc they were together at the time, so he just froze and waited for damian to come back

and when Damian did, he immediately relayed what happened over comms, and a couple seconds later Redbird wasnt responding either

at this point RR!Tim interrupts and is like “are u saying urs all happened the same day? bc its been like a couple weeks since NW!Damian came here and several days since Redbird”

Talon just kinda shrugs and is like “well keep an eye out for Tim Of My Universe next bc he was hit too”

At this point NW!Tim is like “hey bud. why u. Why u using that name sign for Tim?”

Talon’s is about to respond when he gets yoinked back to his universe as well

Tim gives a mildly hysterical laugh and is like “well that’s not foreboding at all!!!”

Tim:

RR!Tim doesnt actually notice when JJ!Tim comes in this universe, bc at this point JJ!Tim has figured it out as well and is like “alright well the kid hasnt been jokerized so why traumatize him if I dont have to”

but unfortunately JJ!Tim IS spotted by a random passerby who mistakes him for the Joker so the whole batfamily’s out soon anyway looking for him

Hood finds JJ!Tim first and is like “alright i got eyes on him and im in pursuit,, hes kinda dressed weird tho wtf”

JJ!Tim hears this over comms and is like ‘welp now or never’ so he talks over the comms too (while running from Hood) and is like “hey I might be in the wrong universe, any way I could talk to one Tim Drake”

RR!Tim is like “Fuck dude really. rn? with a joker breakout? this is a bad time”

JJ!Tim responds w like “ur telling me, dude, Im the one being chased by a homicidal maniac w a red bucket on his head”

“YOU’RE THE GUY DRESSED LIKE THE JOKER?”

“THE JOKER IS STILL ALIVE HERE?”

JJ!Tim does NOT take this news well and he stops running, Hood catches up but doesnt engage bc ur telling me this is Tim?? this is RR?? tf happened?? but he does relay over comms that JJ is laughing and it is freaking him tf out bc he sounds EXACTLY like the Joker so SOMEONE get over here before Jason goes full Pit Rage

RR!Tim does arrive and immediately recognizes his own features despite the green hair and green eyes and bleached skin and Absolutely Terrifying Smile what the FUCK happened

JJ calms down just enough to be like “Oh I get it. This universe is age reversal so it also changed who the Joker got, too”

Hood looks like hes about to be sick, Tim’s not far behind

JJ’s like “great! well I’m Joker Junior, occasionally known as Tim Drake, and in my universe I was brainwashed by the Joker, then killed him and myself!! but apaprently the universe wasnt a fan of that because then I woke up in an UNMARKED GRAVE and wandered around for awhile, got dunked in a lazarus pit, and am overall having a terrible time”

At this point NW!Dick and Robin!Damian are here too and they’re like jfc dude

JJ looks down at his wrist like theres a watch there (there’s not) and is like “alright well according to my calculations, I shouldnt be here much longer, since most of my time was spent hiding & then running from ya’ll in order to NOT have this confrontation but look how well that worked out. Anyway u guys should kill the joker,, who knows if he might get inspiration from my universe and torture little timmy over there,, anyway ta ta” and then he fuckin disappears

Red Hood is like “yep ok im gonna go murder a clown” and no one really moves to go stop him

[sojrner-fishsticcc]

loona player model retexture complete!

ahhh shes finished now!!! shes been stuck in development hell for weeks at this point but shes finally done (at least modeled!) going to import her to cpm for ingame stuff, as well as trying out figura which is a different mod that has more capability but is more difficult cos it requires coding things yourself lol.

uhhh other than that. this has been a solid benchmark to see how ive been doing. i updated my background stuff with a watermark, might change that to my carrd link, idk. either way this is probably going to be the standard for my backgrounds for the near future.

also!!! closing down comms for a bit. idk if people actually see my comm stuff from my tumblr but im closing it cos finals are soon, i have a handful of other modeling projects, (i rlly want to make more of the helluva cast!!!) and i already have a few comms that i need to tie up. ill work through a few of them before i open them back up again. that doesnt mean theyre totally closed, reach out if youre interested, but itll be a LOOONG while before i can actually start on it, so be patient until i actually open comms so we can confirm stuff.

so ya! thats it for now, hope to come back with all the prefabs released! good night strange people!!! EDIT GOD DAMNIT I JUST REALIZED I MISSPELLED MY FUCKING WATERMARK IM SO ANGRY FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[idiotwhowritesshipstuff]

Oooh you write for SDRA2? Can I have Yuki with a reader who reveals to him that they're in void? Like maybe they try to warn him or do something to halt voids plans? The concept runs around in my head rent free lol

Oooooh! So I was tempted to refuse this request for the sole fact that YUKI DOESNT DESERVE THIS BRO but I decided to give it a try as a sort of writing exercise. I had to rewatch some trial aftermaths to figure out the best way for him to react and when to place this scenario. I decided to place this situation after Emma's execution. I was originally gonna do it after chapter 3 but I think he would be too mad and as mentioned in my rules screaming and aggression at the reader is something I just can't write (personal reasons :P) and chapter 4 is too late.

I went for a more platonic angle as I think it works better as a friend scenario though there's no harm in interpreting here that Yuki and reader have romantic feelings for each other, I just didn't focus on that for this scenario.

I'm a bit disappointed in myself over how this scenario went as I don't think I fully realized its potential but I hope you enjoy!

Bonus note: I FORGOT THE HEADER TEXT MAN

Mod Monaca

TW: Reader's past is kept vague but considering they are a Void member it is described as being rather traumatic and has a mention of wanting to commit suicide. Yuki will unfortunately force the story out of them and while it is for justifiable reasons this may be uncomfortable to some so be warned. None of the TWs are written graphically but the warning still applies.

SDRA2 Yuki Maeda finding out reader is a void

The events of the second trial had left him severely shaken up. Not just because of the tragic losses of 4 of his classmates but the fact that so far, barring Mikado, Void has consisted of people who were famous celebrities. Just what was Void's goal? Why did they set up this killing game? How did Mikado convince such famous people to join his organization?

As the killing game carried on, these questions continued to plague him. He thought with Hajime's death, the voids would turn against Mikado and refuse to participate in the killing game anymore but Emma's words about murder being the only answer for Voids were chilling and no amount of support from Sora, Shinji and Setsuka let him shake off those eerie words. Yuki needed answers to his questions, he just never expected that you of all people would be the one to give him the answers he was looking for.

You two hadn't known each other for very long yet but you were the one he trusted the most in his class. Whenever he wasn't off training with Shinji, he would investigate with you and try to get to know you better. Despite your kind nature, you weren't the most open about your life prior to the killing school field trip. Yuki was nice enough not to pry since bringing up the past seemed to be something that caused you a lot of distress and he wasn't someone like Kokoro who was trained in mental health, all he could do in the event of upsetting you is change the subject.

He didn't know what to think when you asked him to meet in private, he trusted you a lot and believed in your close bond but considering what went down with Emma and Kokoro, he almost thought about bringing Shinji or Sora with him to your meeting. He decided to trust you wouldn't hurt him and simply told Shinji and Sora about his meeting with you so if you did decide to backstab him, they would know where to find him.

The best way to describe Yuki after your meeting where you confessed your true identity is exhausted. After the initial wave of shock over the news, he was gathering his courage to support you through your defection from Void when you chose to reveal to him what Void's goal was: To break his mind with a killing game and replace him with Master Utsuro.

It sounded so farfetched, the very idea that a group of people could come together to try and bring someone back to life by breaking someone down to an empty husk by committing murder in horrific ways so that the target would be so traumatized a new person could steal their body. This kind of scheme would be something he'd see in anime, not in real life!

Yuki's inability to properly grasp the reality of your group's plans for him would work in your favor a bit as he would be in such disbelief over the idea he wouldn't fully process the full implications of what success would've been to you so when you're done telling him everything, he would tell you to tell everyone else in the group about Void while he went to lie down in his room.

It would take him awhile to want to speak to you again after that break he took, Shinji would need to talk him into it and he would be occupied for a while as he would need to guard Nikei and Iroha who were beyond displeased at your betrayal but when he does get around to speaking to Yuki, Yuki would seek you out to try and understand why you ever consented to Void's plans.

Normally he would be more patient with you about your past but after everything that happened, he would demand you tell him why even if it hurt you. He would listen attentively to your story about what your life was like prior to meeting Utsuro, albeit with grit teeth as you described how hellish life was for you and how you just wanted to die at such a young age so the pain would go away. Your early childhood really gives him a new perspective about his own life, he's always wished for a more exciting life and desired to be something special but hearing how you had to live in an environment comparative to hell on Earth in order to obtain your ultimate talent from a man with powers that broke the very laws of nature, he's grateful for being an average high school student.

As shaken as he is over your true identity, he would comfort you after hearing about what drove you to participate in a killing game. He isn't sure how he can support you after you all escape Utsuroshima but learning that you weren't some heartless psycho willing to kill high schoolers for selfish reasons and were instead a person driven to despair clinging to whatever hope they had gives him the resolve to trust in you once more and mend your relationship.

[pybun]

One quick question how much for two half body characters for an commission

you can see my prices here altho i might change the style and prices i offer the next time i open comms. feel free to send an email too

if the link doesnt work. remove this from the address

[lena-in-a-red-dress]

Metallo!Lena AU Pt 27

"Drop the syringe, Michaels!"

Kara hears the bark of Alex's order in the middle of a pitch meeting at CatCo. In the time it takes her to fumble out of the room and speed to the DEO, she subsequently hears the hiss of Alex's holster and the retort of a gunshot. She arrives in Lena's lab in time to catch the syringe before it hits the floor. Michaels' body receive no such consideration: it drops to the tile in a heap, lifeless.

Kara stares at Alex, eyes wide and heart pounding. Lena sleeps on, undisturbed by the gunshot. When Kara turns her gaze to the syringe in her hand, she's shocked to see that while the plunger is pulled back, there's nothing in it.

"It's empty," she tells Alex, horror creeping into her voice. Has Alex killed a man for some sort of bluff?

"If he'd pushed that air into Lena's IV, she'd be dead in a matter of minutes," Alex tells her, drawing back to her full height. "Would have looked like a heart attack."

Kara blinks. It would take someone sinister to kill an unconscious woman, and more so to not leave a trace.

"I guess we found our mole," Alex continues. She glares down at Michaels. "I don't think he had time to do anything, but I want to check her just in case..."

Alex moves towards Lena, only to stop as she passes Kara, arrested by a loose, but iron grip on her arm.

"Where were the guards?" Kara asks softly. Since the moment Lena has been stabilized, Alex had two guards posted at the door to Lena's lab to ensure no one without authorization could enter.

Michaels is-- was-- an analyst. He had no business gaining access to Lena. He shouldn't have made it this far.

A telling silence answers her.

"You used her as bait."

Kara's hand slips away.

"I need to check on Lena."

Alex widens the distance between them, and neither of them share another word.

---

Lena dreams of Kara.

At least, she thinks she's dreaming. She claws her way to the surface of a black, fathomless lake, and for a few moments she sees a glimpse of Kara's face. An apparition perhaps, a manifestation of her one wish to see her friend again. But in the off chance it isnt a dream, she issues a final plea.

"Please, kill me."

She knows what Lex wanted to turn her into: he wanted to warp her body into a weapon for him to wield. The sight of Kara's desperate features only confirms that he must have succeeded. So she issues her plea just as an unseen hand reaches from the depths and tugs her back underwater.

Darkness presses in around her, filling her lungs and her senses with chaos and rage not her own. But just before it can fill her completely, a force impacts her chest hard enough to drive the breath from her body. Her world blinks out of existence, and in the void Lena floats.

How long she hangs there, suspended in nothingness, Lena doesnt know. When next she has eyes to open, she does so to find herself staring up at the ceiling of the Cadmus warehouse. She'll know that ceiling until the day she dies: with its spots of damp and mold, plaster sealing the long crack spanning nearly half its width. She'd stared at that sealed crack for days, hunting for any hint the crack would grow to one day collapse and kill her for good.

Only this time, when Lena takes her gaze from the ceiling, she sees she is not bound to the operating table like she was for all those months. Her limbs are free, but she cannot move them. To her horror, her chest is cut open as if for an autopsy: her mother gazes down at her, with something like pity in her eyes.

"You could have been the Luthor who changed the world," Lillian says.

Then her attention turns to the Y-incision flaps. With a long handled bolt cutter, she begins to snap Lena's ribs one by one, until she is able to pry her fingers between Lena's ribcage and sternum and forcing it open with a sickening crunch.

Lena can't move as her mother starts rooting around her chest cavity. She can't breathe. She can't scream. All she can do is lie there, mired in horror, as tears stream down her cheeks.

I am dead, she realizes. There's no room in her for relief, not when this is to be her eternity. Just when she thinks she cant take any more, Lena disconnects from her body. She floats, looking down on herself from above, watching the horror unfold.

I never escaped, did I, she thinks to herself. I was always here.

"I'm so sorry, Lena."

A voice cuts through the scene, startling Lena as though from a dream.

"I'm sorry, I wasn't able to sit with you sooner, but Alex was... well, she was trying to protect me. But she's you're doing fine now."

Kara.

Relief floods through Lena, filling her lungs with air.

"We've done what we can, Lena," Kara's voice continues. "The rest is up to you."

If Lena didn't imagine her time away from Cadmus, if she hadn't imagined Kara, then... perhaps she wasn't dead after all. And if she isn't dead.... then she can still fight.

Below on the operating table, her fingers twitch.

---

In the days that follow, Alex doesn't try to explain herself. She doesn't need to: Kara understands the reasons behind her actions, but she doesn't agree with them. Not when it's Lena's safety in the balance. And so they enter into an uneasy truce: Kara allows Alex to care for Lena, but doesn't let Lena out of her sight.

Not until an alien attack calls her out on Supergirl business. It takes hours, and by the finish of it, she's exhausted, and all she wants to do now is go home, take a shower, and curl up with her favorite television show.

Except home isn't home anymore. Devoid of Lena, it's just an empty apartment, hollow and lifeless.

Hovering above the cityscape, Kara allows herself a moment to wallow, closing her eyes against the burn of tears.

"Supergirl, you're needed at the DEO," Alex says over comms, bringing Kara back to reality.

"On my way," she clips back, just shy of a growl.

She lands on her platform at the DEO moments later, intent on a a quick rinse in the locker room before making her way to Lena's lab. But there's an unusual whisper in the building that Kara picks up on immediately, and eyes flicker towards her in concern before skittering away. 

Alarm floods Kara immediately, and she speeds to the lab-- only to find the scene has changed.

Finding Alex there is common enough, though less so in the days since the start of their enduring silence. But this time, Lena isn't lying prone on the hospital bed. She's upright, sitting with her legs over one side of the bed, speaking with Alex in low tones.

The door hisses open to admit Kara, prompting them both to turn and look at her. Alex melts away, but Kara doesn't notice. All she can see is the acuity of Lena's gaze, the familiar spark that soon gives way to a smile.

"Hey," Lena greets.

Kara blurs into a hug, wrapping her arms around Lena and hugging her fiercely. Lena softens into her, folding herself into the nooks and crannies of Kara's embrace as she tucks her face against Kara's neck.

They stay like that, for what seems like hours.

"Thank you," Lena whispers, so softly only Kara could hear. "Thank you for breaking your promise."

Kara only smiles. "Thanks to you, I didn't have to. We only had to run interference long enough for you to fight back on your own."

Lena presses her face deeper into the crook of Kara's neck, her breath warm and fluttering against Kara's skin. It was a small comfort, but Kara as much as she received: something inside her chest eases, a missing piece locking back into place.

Their fight isn't over yet: Lex and Lillian are still out there, Lena's reputation lies in ruins. But right here, right now, they have each other, and that's enough.

previous / fin

[jgvfhl]

The Number Lads

Part 1/???? 3K words, no warnings :)

 So I’ve created an audience on Tumblr for the Number Lads, and I’ve happened to got 3K words here for them. So! Here are the origins of the Number Lads! More to follow.... eventually....

For future reference:

Sevenset = ARC-7777 = ARCBoiiiii

Do-si-do = CT-2222 = Double Trouble

Trees = CT-3333 = Green Bean

Loops = CT-8888 = Loopy

Sixes = CC-6666

Double Trouble: i meant it as a joke sevens

ARCBoiiiiii: i didn’t

ARCBoiiiii: what you think you can drop that information on me and i wont use it??? how long have you known me

Double Trouble: okay okay but if you die i’m not mourning you

Loopy: ouch

Green Bean: how do you have this much time to comm us when you’re at ARC training, sevenset

Green Bean: who changed my name

Double Trouble: :3c

ARCBoiiiii: what you don’t like it? thought it suited you, trees

Green Bean: why did i let you guys talk me into this club…

ARCBoiiiii: we’re awfully convincing that way

Double Trouble: you felt compelled

Double Trouble: it’s the numbers gang bond

Green Bean: it was not that

ARCBoiiiii: was it loops space buns

ARCBoiiiii: i bet it was loops space buns

Loopy: what

Double Trouble: they are adorable

Loopy: oh kriff you, don’t you have arc stuff to do, sevenset?

ARCBoiiiii: ehhhhh my next training block doesnt start for another 4min, so....

Double Trouble: well i gotta run, we’re going hyperspace in a min or so--remember the meeting next week!!! be there or be square!

ARCBoiiiii: we dont have any perfect squares yet ;-;

Green Bean: Yeah, yeah, i’ll see you weirdos eventually

Loopy: stay alive out there

Double Trouble: especially the guy who wants to recruit Commander Death over there

ARCBoiiiii: I’ll be fiiinnnne whats the worst that can happen

Green Bean: i mean. his name. is DEATH?

ARCBoiiiii: ..... a fair point.... i guess you’ll just have to wait until the next numbers gang meeting huh :)

Loopy: maker help you

----

Sevenset was uncharacteristically quiet that day during second meal, but only because his mouth was continually occupied with food, not talking. He was on the clock today.

“Hey, Sevenset, are you inhaling those rations, or…?”

He looked over at Buster next to him, quickly swallowing his food. “I just got something I wanna do,” he said, taking a glug of water.

“Something so important you’re taking one of the few unscheduled breaks we have to do it? Okay then.”

Sevenset cleaned the rest of his tray, flashing a grin at Buster as he stood up. “Don’t wanna be late. Got a meeting with death.” He really couldn’t resist the pun. Honestly.

Buster’s eyebrow raised skeptically. His friend next to him, Sketch, asked, “Is this about some new way you’ve managed to piss off the trainers? Because yeah, I’m sure Alpha could arrange a meeting with death for you if you… I dunno, painted pink hearts on his armor.”

“Amazing idea,” Sevenset admitted, his brain automatically figuring out where the pink paint was (he’d have to make it), where Alpha-17’s armor lived (not sure on that one), and how possible it would be to sneak in and out to accomplish the task (a challenge). “However, no, not this time. See you guys later!” He deposited his tray and utensils in the proper area to be cleaned, then jogged out of the mess hall.

Kamino’s winding halls and levels really weren’t efficient--but compared to Coruscant… he couldn’t really argue. A healthy stretch of time in the Guard had given him plenty of tools to make his way around inefficient, crowded, twisty places like this. It didn’t take long before he reached where he was going. Aside from the resident Rancor Battalion, there were often troopers on Kamino from various groups throughout the GAR. They stayed out of the way of those training in separate wings of Tipoca City, and right now, Sevenset was very keen to speak to a visiting commander.

He slipped into a lift with two other troopers--visiting, by the looks of their battered armor. Luckily, they were too engrossed in their own conversation to really notice him, despite his rather colorful tattoos that usually made him stick out. But it was for the best this time. He got off at the level above and started down the hall, reading door labels as he went, searching….

Ah. Here. He pushed a button to open the door, but it was locked. Not entirely surprising, but… now what? If his internal clock was still fairly accurate, he had about ten minutes before he needed to be back for the next training block.

“It’s locked for a reason.”

He whirled, his body almost automatically snapping to attention at the low voice behind him.

Commander Sixes (AKA Commander Death, remember) surveyed him with a disturbing lack of expression. He was tall, for a clone. Probably closer in height to some of the Alphas than to Sevenset. His black armor stuck out like green plants on Coruscant in the brightly lit halls of Tipoca City, making him somehow look even bigger. Even more unnerving, he still had his helmet on, the visor lit with a dull green light, and fixed pointedly on him. Sevenset hated not being able to read people...

Sevenset hadn’t planned for this. Come to think of it, a lot of the “plan” he’d concocted relied on a few assumptions, and all of them seemed to be fading. One of them had been that he would have no problem talking to a CO--he never had before. “Sir, hi--hello--I was uhm…” He managed to clamp down on the first coherent thought to float through his head, so instead of blurting, “You’re a lot taller than I thought you’d be,” he stumbled upon, “It’s a nice room you’ve got. From the outside,” and immediately wanted to bash his head in on the wall.

The commander’s helmet never moved, just kept staring him down. “Get out of my way,” he finally growled, taking a step forward.

Against all better judgement, Sevenset stood his ground, although he squished himself a bit closer against the door. “Yessir, of course, just--one thing, really quick thing, I promise.” When the commander didn’t kill him or rip his arms off or something, he went on, finally finding his words were cooperating with him. “So, you’re CC-6666, naturally. I happen to be CT-7777--Sevenset, I’m Sevenset. There’s a group of us, see, sir--with the repeating numbers, and we have little meetings--”

“No.”

“--is what I thought you’d say, but just--” he paused, fumbling a bit to pull a piece of flimsi out of his pocket. “There’s the frequency, there’s the date of the next meeting,” he said, holding out the flimsi scrap. “I’m sure the other boys would love it if you dropped by.” The end of his final sentence shriveled into an undignified squawk when Commander Sixes reached out, grabbed his collar, and shoved him bodily out of the way of the door.

“Get back to training before I have some of my boys drag you there,” he said, entering the door’s access code.

“I’ve got six minutes--”

The door slid shut in his face. Well. He was still alive. So… that counted as a success. Perhaps not a resounding success, but a success. He stood in stunned silence for a moment, still clutching the scrap of flimsi in his hand, wondering if he should stick it in the door so the commander would find it later. However, he had no trouble believing the commander’s threat that his men literally would drag him back to the ARCs if he told them to, so it was probably best not to linger.

Sevenset jumped to attention for the second time that day when the door slid open again. He just stood there, dumb, as Commander Sixes stepped out, plucked the scrap of flimsi from his fingers, then returned to his room with about as much ceremony as befitted dumping pebbles out of a boot.

Oh, yeah. Definitely a success.

---

The first thing Sixes did once back in the privacy of his albeit temporary rooms was remove the top half of his armor, only leaving the gauntlet with his wrist comm. Turning his attention to said wrist comm, he entered Colt’s number. There was a short wait before the other commander answered it.

“Everything alright over there, Sixes, sir?”

“It’s about one of the ARC candidates.”

There was a pause. Understandable. The ARCs weren’t supposed to be in this wing of Tipoca City. “Which one?” His tone suggested he already had his suspicions.

“Calls himself Sevenset.”

He heard inaudible muttering on the other end. “What’d he do this time?” Sixes had suspected as much.

“Quite a pair he’s got on him, hasn’t he?”

Colt laughed dryly. “Yeah, sure. Hopefully, he’s worth the trouble.”

Sixes looked over the scrap of flimsi in his other hand. “Yeah… I think he might be.”

~+~

Leaning back in his pilot’s chair, Do-si-do watched the little light on the ship’s holoprojector, waiting for the others to join the meeting. He always took the calls in his ship. It was more private than his bunk most of the time, and frankly, the audio quality was so much better than on the hand-held devices.

Trees was the first to join, punctual as usual.

“Hey, Trees,” he smiled.

“Have you heard from Sevenset yet?” he asked.

Do-si-do shook his head, combing strands of his bleached curls out of his face. “Nah. Figure he’s been too busy. Graduation was supposed to be a couple days ago, right?”

“Three, yes.”

Loops’ holographic miniature appeared beside Trees’. He looked exhausted, but awake. His long hair was down from his signature twin buns, and he leaned his chin on his hand, fingers resting just over the infinity symbol tattoo on his cheek.

“Loops,” Trees greeted him.

“Mph.”

“What happened to you?” Do-si-do asked.

“Supply shipment,” Loops sighed. “General Koon’s having skeleton crews tonight so we can get some sleep.” After a stifled yawn, he asked, “Is Sevenset dead yet?”

Do-si-do smiled. “Trees asked the same thing, and I have no idea.”

As if on cue, a third hologram popped up on the ship’s control panel. Sevenset beamed at them, his new ARC pauldrons proudly on display. “Guess who’s not dead, fellas!”

“Hey hey! Look at you, ARC-7777,” Do-si-do grinned, leaning forward in his seat. “How’s it feel?”

“I really love the kama, gotta be honest.” He was only visible from the waist up, but they could see him sway his hips back and forth, clearly enjoying his new gear.

“Show us the paint,” Loops demanded, as firmly has he could demand it in his half-asleep state.

Sevenset obliged, setting down his holoprojector--his personal one, now he had graduated--and stepping back so more of his body was visible. The paint job was fairly similar to his previous armor--the sharp edges, the circle on his right shoulder bell holding four stylized sevens--but the new armor on his chest and arms had forced some alterations. They could see just about all of the kama now, the bright red sevens standing out against the dark grey fabric. Predictable, maybe, but still eye-catching. That was Sevenset’s main goal, if it weren’t already clear from the tapestry of tattoos on his bald head that ran down his neck under his blacks, and the several glinting piercings in his ears and nose.

“It’s definitely you.” Trees, bluntly.

“They let you keep the red paint, huh?” Do-si-do said. Sevenset had previously been assigned to the Coruscant Guard. After proving a bit more trouble than the Guard could take, and catching some CO’s eye, he’d been shipped back to Kamino a couple months ago to join Rancor.

“Hey, if Commander Colt can have it, I guess I can too. No one stopped me.”

Without warning, a fourth hologram appeared beside the others in front of Do-si-do’s eyes. A trooper--a big trooper, even in miniature--and in dark armor, helmet included. His brows scrunched together as he studied the person, failing to recognize them.

Sevenset did. “Commander!”

“I see Colt decided against tossing you overboard.”

Oh, no karking way. “Commander Sixes?” Do-si-do blurted.

At the same time, Loops made some unintelligible noise and suddenly disconnected, and Trees froze like a lizard when a hawk flies overhead, his eyes gone wide, one arm half-way to a salute. Frankly, Do-si-do could understand their reactions. Commander Sixes--like many of the CCs--was legendary. His wing of Star Fighters had fought through some of the toughest space battles so far, and always came out of it. As a pilot himself, Do-si-do had heard story after story about their skills. The fighter wing and the commander now wore the nickname Death, thanks to their brutal but effective tactics.

There was a brief and painfully quiet pause before the commander said, “Pride of the GAR, this lot.”

“Eh, they’ll get over it,” Sevenset shrugged, his hologram appearing to zoom in as he came closer again. “Right, Trees?” he added with a grin. Their friend was still in shock, it looked like. “Might have to tell him to relax, sir.”

The commander’s helmet turned towards Trees. “At ease. Take a breath before you pass out.”

Trees blinked, lowering his arm. “Yessir,” he said quietly, throwing a glance over his shoulder.

“I’ll try to get Loops back,” Sevenset said, a datapad appearing in his hands. Damn, ARCs really did get all the good stuff. Do-si-do still had to share a datapad with his squad of pilots.

“Shouldn’t there be more?” Commander Sixes asked.

“Of us? Yeah,” Do-si-do answered. “I guess there should be nine of us, in theory.”

“Nine or ten,” Trees said, his tone still a bit clipped.

“Ten or eleven, actually,” Sevenset corrected, still looking at his datapad. “We don’t know if a CT designation can be all zeroes. Might have been taken out of the system, who knows.”

“It’s hard when we don’t have access to the full GAR database,” Do-si-do went on. “We have to rely on hearsay and brothers from other battalions. Sevenset and I met by chance on Coruscant.” Loops’ hologram reappeared. He looked a bit more awake now, still visibly on edge from the commander’s arrival, and with a glower on his face. “Loopy! Welcome back.”

“I hate you.”

“Whoa, hey, I didn’t know he was coming either,” he defended himself. “Blame Sevenset.”

“I’m blaming both of you,” Loops said. “You told Sevenset about him, and Sevenset was stupid enough to go through with it.”

Sevenset, his attention off his datapad and back on the meeting, put a hand over his heart. “Stupid enough?” he repeated, doing his best to sound utterly wounded. “I think you mean ballsy enough.”

“He meant stupid enough,” the commander replied immediately and without emotion. “And I agree.”

Do-si-do snorted a laugh at the look of utter indignation on Sevenset’s face. Even Trees relaxed a bit more. “Okay, I can get used to having a CC around,” he grinned.

“Finally, someone with the authority to tell him off,” Loops said, expressing Do-si-do’s feelings exactly.

The recipient of their mocking pouted at them, folding his arms as best he could with his new armor. “Now I just feel unloved.”

“Why do I get the feeling Commander Fox was only too happy to get you qualified for ARC training?” the commander asked, his tone remaining impassive.

“For your information,” Sevenset said, then stopped, realizing, as they all had, that the commander had known where Sevenset had previously served. No one had told him this information. “How did you know I was in the Guard?”

They all turned to the commander. “I’m a commander. I can look anyone up. I looked you all up.”

Do-si-do leaned even farther forward in his seat, a huge smile on his face. “You have access to the full database?”

“You can find the others!” Sevenset completed, a similar smile on his face as well.

There was a pause. Do-si-do was starting to think Commander Sixes just liked the drama they created. In fact, judging by how he had yet to show his face and was wearing all black armor, it seemed Commander Death was fond of the dramatic in a few ways. “In theory, sure.”

“Yes! Oh, fantastic,” Sevenset went on, rubbing his hands together. “You can tell us where they’re stationed--”

“If they’re still alive,” Trees added in. He had a point.

“--and then we can find them!”

The commander’s helmet tilted, his expression hidden. “I’m guessing Fox declined membership,” he said.

Do-si-do snorted a gain, and Trees and Loops both smiled. They all remembered Sevenset’s story of trying to recruit Commander Fox to be number ten for their little group.

“If by ‘declined membership’ you mean, ‘shipped me out to Kamino for someone else to deal with,’ then yes,” Sevenset answered. “He declined.”

“Maybe you can ask him,” Loops said.

“Hey, yeah--”

“No.” The commander’s tone didn’t leave much room for argument, but that had never stopped Sevenset a day in his life, and Do-si-do was more than content to sit back and enjoy the show.

“But you’re his big brother, right? You can drag him into things--”

“I’m not a damn recruiter, ARC, now stand down.”

The effect was instantaneous. They all recognized a CO’s “talk back and you’ll be cleaning ‘freshers for the next month” voice. Combined with Commander Sixes’ already awe-inspiring reputation, his order shut them all up. Trees once again straightened to attention, and this time they all joined him, even Sevenset.

“Understood, sir,” he replied. Do-si-do could see the new training in him now. Sevenset wouldn’t be an ARC if he didn’t know when to drop the comic act, but the speed and discipline with which he’d done so just now was different.

The commander waited a second or two, then he nodded once. “At ease.”

They relaxed, mostly. It was hard to ignore the mood shift that had taken place. As cool as it was having a commander in the club… there were some obvious issues that needed addressing if this was going to remain a “just for fun” place.

Do-si-do found himself as the one breaking the uneasy silence. “But… you can help us find where the others are stationed, right, sir?”

The commander’s helmet dipped. “Yeah, I can do that.”

“Can you do that… now?” Sevenset ventured.

The commander’s helmet tilted to one side, and it looked like he sighed. “Fine.” The others perked up. “But, I can only find their assignments, not their current locations.”

“We can work with that,” Do-si-do agreed, and the others nodded along. “Who’s writing this down?”

“I can!” Sevenset volunteered.

Trees reminded him, “Your handwriting is entirely illegible. Even to you.”

“Yes, but now I have a datapad. I can type all my notes.”

“I’m just going to start talking if you boys don’t figure it out,” the commander warned.

“Okay, okay, fine, Trees can copy it.”

Trees’ organization skills would always beat out Sevenset’s anyway. Maybe ARC training had fixed that, though. Trees shifted around, grabbing what he needed, then looked up and nodded when he was ready.

The commander’s helmet tipped down to look at something--presumably a datapad--as he spoke. “CT-4444 is with the Marines under Bacara. Probably has limited contact availability depending on the mission. Infrequent leave.” Do-si-do’s eyebrows raised, and he glanced at Sevenset and Loops. They hadn’t been expecting a tactical rundown of each person. But… they wouldn’t complain. “CT-27-5555 is the only ‘fives’ trooper in the GAR. He’s one of Rex’s freaks, so good luck getting your hands on him.”

“That’s the five-oh-first, right?” Loops asked. “Torrent, or something?”

“Yeah. Rex’s freaks. I’m sure he’ll fit right in.” Do-si-do smirked. He probably would. “And CT-9999 is with Ghost Company in the two-twelfth. Pretty decent chance he and number five have run missions together. Or will in the future, anyway.”

“Is there a CT-0000?” Loops wanted to know.

“What about eleven-eleven?” Sevenset added.

The commander glanced up at them, then back to his materials. “Yeah, the one-eighteenth has a CT-0000. Didn’t find an eleven-eleven, though.”

Do-si-do frowned. “Not even a casualty report?”

“No.”

“But… he could still be on Kamino, right?” Trees said. “Cadets don’t show up in the main database until they graduate and deploy.”

The commander nodded. “He could be a cadet.”

“I could look,” Sevenset offered. “I mean. I live here now, so I should be able to find out if a CT-1111 exists. It’ll just take a bit longer.”

“Yeah, we’ll figure it out,” Do-si-do nodded. “In the meantime,” he continued, leaning forward, “who’re we going after first?”

Ta-daaa!! @blsmjoon @nintendolover13-ts4 (I couldn’t tag your side blog sorry) @alamogirl80 (idk why I can’t tag you either ;-;) @23-bears @theultimatesandwich

[terriblygrimm]

ok time to cry!!!

this absolutely iconic✨gay line. like i GOTTA take a second to reiterate a couple things about this ep bc it’s giving me a heart attack. nothing i’m writing is revelatory by any means but i just gotta WRITE IT DOWN BC ITS SO GAY. YES I WOKE UP AT 6:45A AND WROTE THIS WHAT OF IT

so spock first becomes infected when christine takes his hand and confesses her love for him. spock’s obv struggling for a number of reasons but the confession/infection bubbles his own realization to the surface... and ultimately he has to dismiss himself. he refuses her advances, apologizing (he gay and can’t return the affection). but! this love confession is what causes the next series of events to unfold fkejdhviwjqnbsdnd

fast forward to kirk finding spock sobbing— the lowered inhibitions of the infection are making him upset about only a few vocalized things and the string of consciousness/intensity is clearly downright intentional. and kirk’s reactions to them are just as telling.

1. his mother. “i could never tell her i loved her” like ok that’s heartbreaking but kirk keeps talking about the mission. (keep in mind all of this is symbolically happening while the “enterprise” is destabilizing and falling into an erratic gravity well).

then “an earth woman, living on a planet where love- emotion.. is in bad taste.” spock can’t stand the thought of an earth human suffering at the hands of a vulcan’s nonvocalized love.. hm

hohohhohoho jim’s clearly pained now, trying to focus, grabbing spock and making him stand up.

2. “i respected my father, our customs. i was ashamed of my earth-“ to which jim now slaps him, starting to get overwhelmed himself.

and then

3. jim. spock’s not only feeling due to the infection but it seems like he’s also realizing. probably having never given any ~notable amount of credence to his emotions before, when he says ashamed it seems like it finally clicked. his brows furrow and he’s exasperated. “jim..” he’s finally putting a word to the emotion he’s felt regarding the man in front of him and he’s surprised by it. “when i feel friendship for you- i’m ashamed.”

now we all know this is obv extremely gay coded. the shame of feeling love, the hushhush, guilt-ridden culture of vulcan, etc

jim snaps bc of this and slaps him twice but spock meets his hand with a firm clasp. (we all know this to be the equivalent of a vulcan kiss). the culmination of a heated confession.

the tension simmers down a little bit after that moment but spock continues, softly “i’ve spent a whole life time trying to hide my feelings.” like hello more gay-coded but jim slaps him again and spock smacks him across the room in response (lmao)

THEN jim gets up and continues on about the mission, yelling at uhura over the comms about how he found spock and is talking to him — and then he realizes suddenly that he’s got it. the disease. after mentioning spock.

and what’s the first thing he talks about? love.

so c’mon now.. but also if you take a step back this series of events is very consistent with their personalities? spock’s getting all hot and bothered, overwhelmed with his emotions but is seemingly relieved by a kiss and the expression he’s been trying so hard to resist, whereas the kiss PROMPTS jim’s bleeding heart, rips him opens and causes his breakdown.

“love... you’re better off without it and i’m better off without mine.” ok so not only, what? that being jim’s FIRST thought with lowered inhibitions in a heated conversation with spock after a kiss? but also it’s not long before jim goes off “this vessel.. i give, she takes. she won’t permit me my life. i’ve got to live hers.”

this is spocks face. so concerned. coming-to at the acknowledgement of jim’s pain. trying to focus.

“have you noticed her, mr. spock? you’re allowed to notice her. the captain’s not permitted-“

there’s a little bit of knowing in spock’s next expression & he pleads a little with “jim.. there is an intermixed formula.” spock’s fighting hard to gain control while jim loses it, attempting to bring him back all the while gaining clarity.

jim is voicing his lonliness and desire for companionship, relief, flesh to hold, a beach to walk on..

and then scotty walks in before the two of them can talk further. kirk immediately asks scotty for help and spock pipes up, telling him to stand by and get ready to intermix. the hull (jim!) is at a dangerous temperature.

and after the successful completion of the attempt the first thing spock does is come onto the bridge and ask jim if he’s alright!!!!! because he didnt have the time to ask him before!!!! he mf follows up with him!!!!!!!! 😭😭 to which jim doesnt even think about himself (or want to acknowledge that he’s not alright bc there wasn’t time for relief or closure to their last convo) and instead asks SPOCK if he’s alright 😭 and spock gives the softest, cutest lil nod!!!!

AND THE EPISODE ENDS WITH THE SHIP BEING BROUGHT BACK TO THREE DAYS PRIOR and spocks all “we have ..... three days to live over again.” & kirk scoffs, not taking his eyes off spock and says “not those last three days” bc what a mf ride it was for the both of them.

it’s interesting bc it leaves the ending pretty open to interpretation (as always! which is a great thing abou tos) kirk’s dismissing reliving 3 days bc .. he’s not ready to rehash/experience that pain with spock again? to have to face that vulnerable confession with perhaps a different outcome? or rather, he’s not willing to relive it bc he wouldn’t change a thing? he’s pleased that all of that bubbled to the surface?

tldr; all of this is to basically say that the end of this ep was undoubtedly a love confession/culmination of the tension between kirk and spock that was started by christine’s confession of love. spock doesn’t love her but it breaks him down and makes him think of those he does love- his mom and jim. they vulcan kiss and it then spreads to jim who immediately starts to talk about love when he tells uhura he’s found spock. jim is simultaneously expressed through the enterprise with the ship boiling up and spiraling out of control, (only to be relieved by spock’s idea of an intermixed formula. one that’s a theoretical relationship and has never been tested... ahem ok 1960s)- and also uses the ship as a figurative desire for love in something he isn’t permitted to have as a captain (i.e. his first officer)

[cmeiffel]

I have an idea

-undercover mission based on sway by michael buble -so youve got three characters: A, B, C -A and B are forced to be partners -maybe they already know each other's behaviours -A isnt that excited to be on the field -A usually works behind the scenes -but it's a close-contact mission and they needed a face the enemy (C) hasnt seen before -So A is the one to go in, B controls the mission from their base or whatever idk -anyways -their mission is to gather information on C -what C is doing, who C talks to, and basically how they are a threat -the scene where everything goes down is your typical underground bar with jazz playing on a stage, the bartender is an old, skilled man who everyone respects (kinda like batman's alfred) -there's people in suits, coats and fedoras sitting at the tables, most of them smoking (totally not the mafia) - theres an open space in front of the stage, supposedly for dancing. -but that's where the daily target(s) sit tied up to a chair, usually already bleeding -by daily target i mean whoever that pissed off the mafia/gang/any corrupt organisation and is gonna die but theyre respected enough to be given an honourable death, ie. after a last meal, etc etc -A is stationed at the bar, drink in hand, doing well at keeping a low profile -Is trying to find C amongst the tables -is unsuccessful -bartender notices A is new, doesnt say anything. just nods at A like "i know you're not one of us but i'll still serve you. just dont start shit with the rest of the patrons and we good" -anyways A cant find C -at this point the band on stage changes the song -[sway starts here] -A tells B through comms that they cant find C -And what happens? -C appears next to A -"Now, now darling. If you wanted to see me all you had to do was ask." -Obviously A panics (their not comfortable on field remember?) -So B can here C through comms, and C knows -C tells B not to try anything, and that all they want is to have a conversation with A -A is stuck -B agrees, reluctantly of course -C is satisfied, and extremely smug as they ask A to remove their earpiece and hand it to them -C calls the bartender who promptly disposes of it -So now A is stuck with C -C takes A to a back room -"the acoustics sound so much better back here, doesnt it?"-C asks A for a dance -"just a dance, love. this song has such a wonderful beat; it'd be a shame not indulge in it." -A agrees, because what better excuse to get closer to the enemy? - (yeah right. A finds themselves to be entranced by C, they dont know why they feel so attracted to C) -So they dance -C leads, and starts a conversation -"why do you work for them? you could do so much better... with me." -and A really is stuck -Because on one hand, they like where they are -on the other, C makes a really good point -(or maybe they're just really attractive) -C twirls them around, and A follows. Its the way C can lead them around the room, and A can't help but lock eyes with C. A can't help but let themself relax in the arms that guide them into dips and twirls -"you seem to be enjoying yourself my dear, and we've only just met" -A is actually weak in the knees at this point -C twirls A away from them(C) , then pulls them(A) back close into their(C) chest. but when A is being pulled back, they fall into C's arms and is just pressed agains their chest. -A's face is heated and it is at this point we find out that A's drink was spiked with a drug -And as A almost passes out in C's arms -meanwhile B had burst into the bar, alone, like the overconfident dumbass they are -and is currently fighting a whole lot of people -C guides A out to see B -(B has been beaten up and is tied to a chair) -C has A leaning heavily on them -C asks A too look at B, gentle hands slowly bringing dazed eyes to focus on their bloodied partner trapped in a chair -"Cmon dear, do you really want someone like them to work with> someone who can't even take down a few measly goons?" -A looks completely out of it btw -but when they make eye contact with B, B has a sense that maybe A isn't

drugged enough to be completely unconscious of what's happening -A looks at B through half-lidded eyes -"I never wanted to work with such an imbecile in the first place" -A looks up at C, face heated, almost breahtless -"Please, please let me join you. I need to be by your side" -"Oh, my dear, no need to beg. you're already welcomed" -And so A has joined C - ' "you're already welcomed" ' A looks at the goons surrounding B -they look to A with respect, just like how they look at C -A realises they are waiting to be addressed. -"...Do with him as you wish..." -C carries A away as B gets fucking bodied by the mafia folk/gang people and the other goons -A has no regret -C has A all to themselves

and yes that was my idea, which turned out to be quite long lmao my bad.

[msmarvelwrites]

The Winter Soldier - Part 15

Info: A Devastating car crash causes you to lose your memory and start over. The only thing left in the wreckage was the horrific nightmares which plagued your mind. If you knew what today would entail you would have just stayed in bed. But you didn’t and because of that, everything you knew was about to change.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

Warnings: swearing, gun violence. 

W/c: 2.9k

A/n: I’m double posting for @kalesrebellion​ because she called me out. So here you go babe. Also, I did an embarassing amount of research trying to come up with the basics for the serum. But I concluded that this is fiction and it doesnt really matter. But if you’re ur a science major and this doesnt make sense please dont come for me lol

There are moments in your life that define you. Moments you look back on after everything and wonder, if you had listened to your gut, maybe it would be different. This was one of those moments. Bucky’s world shattered around him as Natasha’s words rang through his comm. 

“We’ve been compromised, Buck. I’ve been hit. They got Y/n.” Her voice, broken and solemn. 

No. 

Dammit, NO.

This isn't how this was supposed to happen. This was an easy job. Only a few Hydra agents resided in this compound. The whole thing felt like a dream. One he was completely and utterly unprepared to handle. How could he let this happen. He should have been there. 

“Dammit. What's your location? I'm coming to you.” He shouted. His blood began to boil and he heard your heavy breathing on the other side. You were running. “Y/n, please come in. Please, doll. Where are you?” Bucky hated how broken he sounded. He knew the rest of the team could hear his begging, but he didnt care. He couldn't. He just needed to get to you. 

“You always were a fighter. Right till the bitter end.” A man’s muffled voice came through his comm. He didn't recognize it as anyone he knew, but there was something familiar about it. A distant memory he couldn't quite piece together. Before he could speak, your voice broke though, a small whisper shattering his heart and sending him into a blind rage. 

“Bucky” You breathed, choking on a cough. 

“Y/n. I’m coming to you, doll. Don't worry, I've got you. I’m going to get you out of this. Don't worry, I’m coming.” He pleaded, but was only met with static, and then finally silence. The rest of the team kept quiet, waiting for any kind of sign of life from you. When none came, Nat spoke up. 

“Guys, we gotta get out of here. They've set off a security alert, this place is going to blow in three minutes.” Her voice was now back to its usual tone, but Bucky knew better. She was scared, he could hear it.  “ There’s no sign of her out here. She’s just… gone.” He could hear that she was running now.

“Bucky, we gotta go.” Steve spoke from beside him. Bucky’s head snapped to his friend, eyes wide and body still frozen. 

“We can't leave. Not without her.” He all but begged. 

“You heard Natasha, she’s on her way.” He paused, “Nat, you got the files?” He spoke into his earpiece, motioning Bucky to follow him to the entrance they had come through. 

“Yeah, I have them. Thanks for asking by the way. I’m great, two more bullet holes in my gut, but yeah, files are more important.” She scoffed, causing Steve to roll his eyes.  “I’m headed to the entrance right now.”

“No, I’m not leaving without Y/n!” Bucky tried to pull away from Steve, but he was stronger. A fact he would never admit to the guy, his head was already big enough. 

“She’s not here Buck. They wouldn't blow the compound with her in it.” He persisted.

Sam’s voice interjected, “Jet’s fired up, you guys better get the fuck outta there. We have less than a minute.” 

Bucky and Steve ran through the dark hallways together until they almost slammed into Nat’s small frame. He gasped when she appeared in the hollow moonlight. Her face was contorted in pain, something he was all too familiar with. Guilt.

“I lost her. I’m so sorry, it was my job to-” She broke off into a sob. Bucky wanted to agree. Yell that if she was a better agent- a better person his girl would be coming home with them. But he couldn't... This was on him. He knew it was a bad idea to bring you on the mission. He deserved all the blame. 

“She’s not dead. Not yet anyways. But we will be if we don't get out of here.” Steve yelled over the alarms blaring in the hallway. 

Bucky and Nat both nodded, and followed Steve across the field. Before they could reach the jet, the warehouse behind them rumbled before letting out an earth shattering explosion, sending the two of them flying into the ground. Without hesitation, Bucky grabbed Natasha's hand and pulled her from the ground. He wrapped her arm around his shoulder and all but dragged her body onto the jet. 

“Vision’s been alerted we need medical. He’s been staying at a safe house in Munich. We can be there in thirty minutes.” Steve spoke urgently, rifling through the cabinets of the jet looking for the first aid kit. 

“Seriously guys, it's a flesh wound. I’m- Ah!” Nat screamed in pain as the jet hit a spout of turbulence. 

“Like you were saying.” Wanda smirked, placing her hands carefully on Nats' wound. Her hands glowed a deep red as she tried to relieve the pain. The spy’s face relaxed, but only for a moment before she was back to worried. 

“He’s alive, Buck.” Nat spoke, and when she did, he could hear the fear in her words. 

“Who?” Steve demanded, but Nat’s eyes stayed put on Bucky’s. 

“Tommy. She said his name in the hallway. It was him, Buck. He’s not dead. He’s the one that shot me, the one that took her.” Nat flinched in pain as Wanda's hands fell from her side. 

“That’s not possible.” Bucky shook his head. “Steve found my mission file. I killed him. I remembered it. You just don't walk away from that.” 

“Well, clearly you do.” Nat spoke sarcastically, pointing to the gushing holes in the body. 

“So Tommy’s alive? And he’s Hydra now?” Wanda asked, suddenly realising her hands were not on Nat’s wounds anymore. She placed them back silently apologising. 

“And he’s got Y/n.” Bucky added, his jaw clenched in anger. 

“We’ll get her back.” Steve spoke. He placed a hand on Bucky’s shoulder which he quickly shrugged off, pacing back and forth through the small aircraft. 

“I know we will. And i’m going to finish the fucking job and tear that prick in two.” He seethed, mostly to himself. 

He tried to focus on the task at hand. Desperately brainstorming how to get to you, but his mind was spirling. How could he just leave you? How could he have been so stupid? The sound of his name leaving your lips echoed around him, only fuling his growing rage. 

“All our tactical suits have hidden trackers in the sleeves. We will hear it go off, but until then we wait. They cant have gotten far.” Steve started as the jet began its descent. “We're almost at the safe house. We’ll track her from there. In the morning, we’ll head out.”

“Morning? That's too long. She could be-'' Bucky cut himself off, too broken at the thought to finish that sentence. “I’ll find her myself tonight.” He grumbled. 

“Oh no you don’t. We’re a team, Buck. We do this together. Vision will be able to enable her tracker. But we need to work together. We can't lose anybody else to impulse decisions.” Steve scolded. 

He knew his friend was right but it didn't make it any easier to agree. All Bucky wanted to go but get you back. Keep you safe and never let anyone touch you again. He tried to keep his distance before, he really did, but that was out the window now. There wasn't a chance in hell he was leaving your side after this. As for the man that ripped you from his grasp, oh boy… He tried not to make a habit out of fantasizing murder, mostly as it resulted in the Winter Soldier coming out of the shadows, but if that was the case with Tommy, so be it. Only when Bucky stood in a pile or carnage and gore and blood would he finally feel peace again...

“We're coming up on the safe house. Y'all ready to bail?” Sam's voice tore Bucky out of his thoughts, and thankfully so. He was sure it was leading to a very destructive path. 

“Buck, help us get Nat inside. Wanda and Sam - sweep the area, make sure no one has followed us. I’ll fill Vision in on what's happened and see if he can turn on Y/n’s tracker now.” Steve commanded as he hopped out of the jet. 

“Can you stand?” Bucky asked, dipping down to tuck Nats arm around his shoulder, helping her up. She nodded reluctantly, wincing in pain as she moved. 

The safe house was a small cabin in the middle nowhere. Munich was only a few minutes down the road but the thick coverage of trees that surrounded the cabin made it feel secluded and hard to be spotted from above.  If they weren't followed, no one would ever know they were here. 

Bucky helped Nat inside, letting Steve and Wanda take over once they were through the door. Before he could enter, he stopped, taking a moment to gaze upon the sun rising over the mountains. In a few hours, he’d be with you again. He just had to make it until then, and pray to whatever god would still have him, that you were alive. 

………………………………………………………………………………………………………

“Продолжай копать. Нам надо её найти.” Keep digging. We have to find it. The voice rang in your mind, waking you from the recurring nightmare. Visions of Tommy and that boyish smile that once brought so much happiness.. His voice, the way it used to say your name, now only causing you ache. 

“Wait, rewind there! Вернись. That’s it.” The voice spoke again, echoing around the room. You opened your eyes slowly, taking in your surroundings, but all you were met with was darkness. You could feel movement around you, but the blindfold tied around your eyes masked their faces. 

“I’m positive she told me what was in that serum.” His voice caused your heart to just about leap from your chest. You knew that voice anywhere. 

“You better be right. You're as good as dead to me otherwise.” Another man spoke. 

“No I’m sure. Wait! Right there. Replay that part.” Tommy asserted. 

Suddenly a headache burned through your temples, scorching the inside of your eyes. You screamed in pain as it coarsed though your body until an image appeared in your mind. It replayed over and over, making you dizzy. 

“Whatcha doing?” Tommy cooed, taking a seat on your desk. 

“Just trying to find the right components.” You spoke, not taking your eyes microscope as you examined the petri dish below. 

“Cummon, baby. You've been at this for hours. Come eat something.” You looked up, Tommy stood there with that big goofy smile you loved so much. 

“I’ve almost got it. Just a little longer.” You reassured him, rolling in your chair and picking up another sample and analysing it. 

“What exactly is, it?” he asked, emphasizing the word. 

“If I mix the steroid with-” 

Another shrieking jolt of pain seared through you as the memory disappeared, leaving you trembling. 

“Go back, we almost had it!” Someone yelled from beside you. 

You tried to scream, to beg them to stop, but it was no use. Before you could try again, the same horrible pain erupted through your body, ripping you back to the distant memory. 

“If I mix the steroid with human blood, it does as it's designed.  But taking into account the theory of nuclear transmutation, we can assume given the right element we can use the serum to absorb its surroundings, right?” You spoke, like it was common sense. 

“Sure…” Tommy chuckled. 

“So, strip down the original serum, add radiation to its compound, now it needs the ability to absorb energy… What element do we know has that power?” it wasn't a question, nor did you think Tommy would know the answer so you continued, “Water, and our bodies are basically made of that. So in turn, if we can create the original serum mixed with high levels of radiation, inject the person, granted you're not killed by that high levels of toxicity, we're looking at a new type of Super Soldier. One that could, in theory, mutate around the serum and absorb its surroundings!” You finally finished.

“I have no idea what any of that means… But it sounds cool. Now put the vile down, and eat something.” He laughed, grabbing the sample out of your hands and carefully placing it on the table next to you.

“Thats it!” Someone shouted. “Of course, why didn't we think of this. Call the commander, tell him we found it.” 

You felt your body twist in agony, but soon the memory left, leaving you back in the dark with disembodied voices echoing around you. 

“What do you want me to do with her?” a man asked. 

“I don't care. убить её?” Kill her? You froze at his words. Even if you could move, your hands were tied down to the chair. Gentally you wiggle your fingers, careful not to draw any attention to yourself. Not that you would be able to tell. The ring that Shuri had made you was still there. If you timed in right, and you still had Wanda’s borrowed power, you could use it to untie yourself and hopefully get the fuck out of this hell hole. 

“Kill her?” Tommy choked. “You didn't say anything about killin’ her?” 

“You should be thankful. The girl’s been sharing a bed with the same man who killed you once before. In fact, I’m so pleased with your work developing this memory decoder that I’ll give you the honour.” The man spoke, shuffling around the room. “Here, tell me when you're done having your fun.” A few heavy footsteps later, and you finally heard the door close. The silence was deafening, but eventually, Tommy let out a deep breath and took a step towards you, ripping your blind fold off. 

You squinted as you tried to acclimate your eyes to the lighting of the room. It was small and dark, but a few dim lights hung above you illuminating Tommy's features. Once upon a time you would have described them as strong and rugged. Now they seemed to loom over you, sending a shiver down your spine. 

“Are you okay?” He asked, softer than you expected. You quickly clocked the pistol in his left hand and tried to suppress a scoff. 

“Am I okay?” You gawked at him. “You just dug through my head like a sand pit. No- no I’m not okay you shit head!” You screamed. 

Tommy chuckled, using the gun to scratch the back of his neck. “Touché…” He spoke, pulling up a stool and plopping himself down on it infront of you. “I missed that attitude baby. Really, these past couple years have been hell without you. These guys are really scary, but I told em- I said, my girl will know what to do. And you did, baby. I never doubted you.” His voice was like honey. Thick and sickenly sweet. 

“What are you talking about?! I thought you were dead!? I mourned you, asshole. And you've been alive this whole time, working against me?” You couldn't believe how cavalier he was being about this. Tommy only shrugged, fuling the rage inside you. 

“Nah, it's not like that. I was dead, really I was. But then Hydra came and BOOM I was back. They promised me that they’d keep me safe, as long as I could help em get that serum you were always talkin’ bout. Said they wanted to give it time in your system, make sure it didn't kill ya.” He started, narrowing his eyes slowly, “You grieved me? That's a funny way of putting it. Cause from what I saw in that head of yours, you were pretty chummy with that Soldier.”  

You couldn't stifle the scoff that erupted in your mouth. “You're kidding right? Jesus, Tom. They brainwashed me. And I don't need to explain myself. You're sick, you know that?  How could you do this? Do you have any idea what they're going to use that serum for?” You fired the questions off like explosives into his chest, but he didn't even flinch. 

“I don't really care. They told me if I gave em’ your little recipe, they’d let me go.” He shrugged. 

“And so what? Now you're going to kill me?” 

“No… Maybe. I haven't really decided yet.” He looked down at the pistol like it was the first time he really noticed it was there. Contemplating your death like he was deciding between his morning coffee. 

“I would get going on that if I were you.” You lifted your hands, wiggling your wingers playfully “Really, Tommy, you're not cut out for this line of work.” You spat, jumping from your seat and landing a hard kick to his gut, sending him flying back. The gun ricocheted off the ground and hit the wall, but before he could react, you grabbed it. In one swift move you turned the safety off and placed your finger on the trigger. 

“Cummon baby, let's talk about this.” He raised his hands in surrender. “You wouldn't shoot me.” 

You cocked a brow, “You sound really confident in that statement. Especially for a boy who was debating my death a moment ago.” You argued. 

“Dont take it personally, baby. Anything you can do, I can do better. Remember?” You smirked. 

................................................................................................................................

A/n: Another Cliff hanger? Yes. Do I know how to wrote anything else? No... My bad lol. I hope your enjoyed this one as much as I did writing it! As always, @cutie1365​ is the bomb dot com for editing this for me. Tommy sucks, we both agree. I hope he gets whats coming to him... please leave some love and reblog if you read it! 

@kalesrebellion​

@projectcampbell​

@calwitch​

[standbyplacesplease]

What to do if the SM doesnt call the cues?

One time when I was working with a theater the light and sound ops took their own cues. The SM did not call the show. It was how the company was set up and ran. There were no comms. At the end of the day it strengthened my skills to run the deck.

For tech and shows I ran the deck. Some tasks being:

Arranged a safe setup and layout backstage.

Oversaw the preset of the wings and onstage.

Confirmed cast and crew was present and ready.

Supervised and directed the deck crew.

Cued, performed and lead scene changes.

Arranged seating area for cast & crew backstage.

Assisted actors with quick changes.

Monitored entrances, exits, prop pick up and drop off, quick changes, backstage traffic and cues, set/prop prep and provided support and assistance if needed.

Troubleshoot problems and conflicts backstage.

Coordinated preshow activity; call times, light and sound checks; presets, mic checks, fight call, prop food prep, vocal warmups, blackout check, floor sweeping/moping, curtain check.

Liaised with House Manager to coordinate opening of the house and implement late seating procedures.

Organized the order and placement of backstage activity.

Made arrangements for replenishing prop food supplies.

Act as liaison between the cast/crew backstage, and the light and sound ops.

Created and distributed show reports.