#it's about loyalty without fault and love without question

[gingermintpepper]

Oooooooh fellow Alcestis and Admetus and Apollo fan? (this is just me nerding out bc they’re weirdly unpopular)

Hello friend!! I'm gonna be so real, I love and adore ALL of Apollo's relationships and entanglements because all of them are beautiful, meaningful and brilliant in their own ways!!

I think the devotion Admetus and Alcestis had for each other and the devotion and loyalty that Apollo extended towards them in turn is some of the most moving love in history point blank period and I do agree that they're oddly underrated, but so are many of Apollo's great loves.

Feel free to ask/yap about them with me whenever!! I absolutely love this trio and I welcome anyone who feels the same with big, broad open arms ♡♡♡

[widowshill]

102 / 585

[galene-gothic]

𝖸𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝗌𝗍𝗋𝖾𝗇𝗀𝗍𝗁𝗌 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝗐𝗈𝗎𝗇𝖽𝗌

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⊹ ! ೀ Pile 1 ꒱

You have dealt with situations not turning out the way you wanted them to despite heavily investing into them. These situations in fact, made you feel very naive and taken advantage of. Ugh I just heard “a woman’s loyalty is tested when the man has nothing and a man’s loyalty is tested when he has everything.” I also suddenly got a vision of a TikTok that I saw a while ago. The man in the video was saying that if a woman stays with him at the lowest point of his life, he’d leave her when he gets to a high point because she clearly doesn’t respect herself 💀. It doesn’t necessarily have to do with a man or boy but it could have been a similar situation. You invested a lot into someone or possibly even multiple people and you were incredibly generous. The value was being provided only one way i.e. only you were the one bringing ANYTHING into the connection but you were the one being treated as though you didn’t have any value, as though you didn’t bring anything valuable into the connection or this person’s life. It definitely could have been an experience with multiple people for some of you. I was earlier hearing ‘without me’ by Halsey in my head and now I’m hearing that song, I’m not sure about the title I’ve only heard it through reels and TikTok. It goes something like “It’s not your fault I ruin everything and it’s not your fault I can’t be what you need.” This is honestly very sad, this person or people used to rely on you when they were sad but when they were enjoying life and had happy moments, they didn’t really share those with you, they didn’t spend those with you. It’s like when they experienced really good and happy moments, they just disappeared, and despite everything that you were offering them, they wanted a ‘happily ever after’ with other people. They used to take what you had to offer and use your resources to their benefit but they didn’t want you, they didn’t offer you anything of value, they didn’t even truly appreciate your value and only used it.

There definitely was this feeling of insecurity because why didn’t they see your value and treat it as such despite you doing, and offering so much? It was just a really bad investment on your part because all you were doing was wasting your time and energy by depleting your time, energy, and resources on an ungrateful person. I really wanted to use the b-word just now but I stopped myself. I’m feeling angry on your behalf here. You did everything with a very pure and affectionate heart. When you were doing and giving anything at all, you were being genuine with it. It was a very innocent kind of love that you were extending yourself with. You were sensitive to their needs and almost psychically picked up on things in regard to them, and even if you didn’t, you actively tried to because that’s just how pure hearted you were and their stinginess… gosh. They didn’t even try to invest in you at all, did they? You seem to have questioned your value and worth back then. Due to how you were investing into the connection with a sense of innocence, you were wounded like a child is. Let me explain it to you, kids have not seen enough of the world so when they get scolded or punished by their parents, it’s easy for them to question themself and believe that they must’ve done something wrong. They also forgive the trespassers again and again because that’s just how pure kids tend to be but whatever kids experience during their childhood sticks with them on a very deep level and is inevitably going to affect them as adults. You experienced a similar experience back then. It hit your inner child quite heavily. “How long could we be a sad song, till we were too far gone to bring back to life. I gave you all my best me’s, my endless empathy and all I did was bleed as I tried to be the bravest soldier. Fighting in only your army, front lines don’t you ignore me. I’m the best thing in this party. You’re losing me and I wouldn’t marry me either, a pathological people pleaser who only wanted you to see her.”

That’s ‘you’re losing me’ by Taylor Swift. I keep on hearing the part that goes “my heart won’t start anymore, my heart won’t start anymore.” I feel like you genuinely cannot bring yourself to feel anything for this person or these people anymore because when you were, they were abusing it. While I was writing ‘abusing’, I mistakenly typed ‘anus’ and that describes them pretty well :D. Despite having experienced all of this, you haven’t hardened. In fact, you’ve softened more. The more pain that you had to experience, undergo and heal from, the more pure hearted, innocent, loving and childlike you’ve gotten. Somehow, your inner child has healed and feels more comfortable expressing themself after everything you’ve experienced. There’s also an acceptance of your own contradictions here. You’re quite misunderstood and have always been. I just heard “I was a mature child so now I’m a childish woman.” You’ve always been mature yet childish. Some of you are incredibly mature on the inside but might be very childlike in the way you live and express yourself externally while it may be the other way around for the rest of you. Also, you have likely embodied both of these sides at different points of your life. There could have been a point when you wanted people to take you seriously because you were very mature on the inside and another point when you wished you could express yourself in a lighter, softer, and more playful manner because you were very sensitive and soft on the inside but on the inside, you ended up expressing yourself as more serious. Having embodied both of these, you are aware that others will criticise and misunderstand you either way, and that you won’t be happy with yourself either if you don’t accept your own contradictions and aren’t comfortable with being misunderstood so now, you don’t really care about whether someone misunderstands you.

“Sometimes I can’t even understand those perceptions, it feels unfair at times but the misunderstandings that make up the countless versions of me. All of them are ‘me’ in the end.” I feel like most of you are perceived as childish and are in fact very pure at heart but having been taken advantage of has caused you to develop a cautious approach and not commit to situations recklessly, and that’s a strength of yours. You also do not really give too much importance to a happy ending anymore. You don’t seek belonging and joy from others anymore, and are fine keeping to yourself and are very careful with the situations, and people that you invest in. The thing is, you’re not exactly closed off. You’re still open, pure hearted, loving and affectionate but it’s just that you’re finally more impatient. You can now leave situations as easily as you entered them if the other person doesn’t seem as invested. You know that you deserve a pure, loving and affectionate connection that is innocent, playful and genuine where you’re always chosen, and can always choose them and share a lot of intimacy with the other person - friend, lover, whatever. So when you don’t see things going to that direction, you don’t mind putting an end to things. You’re not willing to settle for anything except the most genuine and pure form of love, and connection because you know that you can provide it. You want to be treated as softly as you treat people and have them stick with you through thick, and thin with proper investment and to adore you, and value you affectionately and genuinely. You are unwilling to accept anything less than that. Having experienced whatever you experienced, you’re aware that you have a lot to offer but that giving more does not equal to receiving more so you don’t try as hard anymore. You’re still the same, you still try to extend yourself generously and provide value to the other person wholeheartedly but even now, you notice one sidedness, and it doesn’t bother you because you choose to either leave entirely and not invest any further or just pull away, and are not committed to trying and investing anymore. You are fine with getting away from people now.

You are alright with people not seeing your value and missing the opportunity to be in your close circle. You just don’t invest heavily into situations for a long time anymore. You try initially because you’re naturally a giver and are incredibly generous but when you feel like you’re not receiving the same, you don’t even question your worth or think about “why?”, you just let them. Also, this generosity of yours is not a method of finding belonging. It kind of is but it is more about how you feel about yourself rather than how others see you. You want to be kind and generous because you just naturally are a giver, and you find a sense of comfort in how much you do for the world, how much value you provide and how much good you put out into the world even if you don’t have anywhere you find belonging, and joy, even if you don’t have those personal connections. Instead of chasing a ‘happily ever after’ and joy, and fulfilment through external sources and connections, you chase purity of spirit, genuineness and generosity. There’s this mantra coming through but I’m not sure how it will resonate. The following includes mention of the hindu god ‘Shiva’ but even if you’re christian or muslim, or any other religion. I need you to take the message and try to interpret it rather than shunning it completely just because you don’t believe in the god or religion. Let me give you a little piece of advice before we move onto the mantra, if you find anything from other religions or concepts that you don’t follow, believe in or understand but it’s something that resonates with you, could help you going forward and just help you lead a better life, take it. The mantra goes “om tryambakam yajaamahe, sugandhim pushti vardhanam, urvaarukamiva bandhanam, mrityur mukshiya mamritaat.” It translates to “om, we worship the three eyed one (lord shiva), who is fragrant, increasing the nourishment (spiritually). From these many bondages (of samsara aka worldly cycles) similar to cucumbers (tied to their creepers). May I be liberated from death (attachment to perishable things), so that I’m not separated from the perception of immortality.”

I feel like many of you have already reached a point in which you understand that attachments are illusionary. If you haven’t yet, you will. You care about your soul and the truth of it - the purity, essence and nourishment of it more than you care about worldly cycles, and things that are perishable i.e. attachments which is why when you aren’t receiving love, don’t have personal connections or are misunderstood, even if it bothers you, it doesn’t. Your soul is whole and immortal, and so is love and joy, and it’s also ever present as long as one can maintain their soul and its true essence so you are just focused on that. Religions and spirituality both put an emphasis on love, and purity and I don’t mean purity as in not being allowed to enter temples during your periods, etc. but instead that they put an emphasis on remaining loving, always leading with love and keeping the heart as light as a feather. You are doing that and you’re spiritually aligned. Obviously with the hurt that you’ve faced, you sometimes may feel heavy or have felt heavy in the past but you have a loving spirit that is still pure at its core and you maintain it with utmost reverence, and that’s your strength. I was earlier getting the quote “do you know how much anger it took to be this gentle?” And now, I’m getting the bridge of ‘solo’ by Jennie coming through. “After the relationship, romance and emotions there’s breakup, tears, regret, and longing. I like being alone because I should be true to myself. Like the flowing wind, like the stars above the clouds. I want to go faraway, I want to shine brightly.” That’s the energy that you seem to possess, you know what you offer and deserve now, and you let go of any attachments that make you feel less than. If you aren’t here yet, you can be. All the best 💞. You’re doing really well. When it comes to your wounds, you are a stubborn one. You’re really persistent and determined to make things work, and are so busy doing so that you don’t notice when the other person has already given up.

You put in work diligently from the start to the end with consistency which is why it hurts more when they give up because you put so much effort into it. You also have long term intentions or even if you don’t, you put in work as though you do because you naturally are long term oriented and you maintain loyalty consistently without a single slip on your part so when the other person gives up, you feel really betrayed and hurt. Lifelong connections are beautiful because they require work and both parties not wanting to give up. You are willing to make things work by putting your all into whatever it is that you want to succeed because of your long term oriented approach. You don’t just give up without trying, you don’t give up without a fight, you can’t because you just value it so much and want it in the long run so the awareness that when someone wants something in the long run, wants someone on the long run, they won’t just run away when things get hard and they have to put effort in is something that wounds you because people have been too easy to give up in the past. You seem to have dealt with a lack of loyalty from others too and what is upsetting is that you were loyal to them. What seems to have happened is that you met someone (possibly even multiple people for some of you) when they were going through a time of discontentment, stagnation, apathy, isolation, boredom, yearning, etc. and you were present for them consistently but when they got better, they left you behind while you were still putting in work and trying, and they didn’t explicitly tell you that they had given up right away. You fell victim to the classic method of being wounded until you couldn’t try anymore. The wounds could have come from their carelessness, negligence, lack of gratitude or acknowledgement of all that you had done and been for them, or well all of the above.

In fact, for some of you, they could have been wounding you actively by treating you as if you were a burden and talking to you in ways that scarred you. In many cases, it could have been both. Whether their approach was passive, active or both, it was equally bad and you didn’t deserve that. You simply just knew that love and connections were hard work, and were willing to put that in. You knew that things aren’t always easy but you still tried until you absolutely couldn’t anymore. Once you finally gave up, you had to consistently put in work into your own betterment in order to heal the wounds that were inflicted on you back then. You’re showing strength even when I’m trying to tap more into your wounds. Despite how wounded you were, you persisted with courage. You learned from your previous failure and wounds, and endured the pain and managed to get better eventually. I feel like at some point, you tried to maintain strong routines in order to get better and it worked wonders for you. You gained clarity on your past, present and future as well as a desire to be present, pleasant and proud. One thing is for sure, you started wanting to focus on the present moment and make the most out of it. You released your emotions and saw where change was needed, and created those changes. You left the past behind you and grew emotionally to the point of feeling almost enlightened. Now, you’re self aware, focused, content, grateful for what you already have, try to be present, accept yourself and situations as they are, and know your responsibilities and try to carry them out properly. Also, you reflect to learn but try to be and are present. The journey to get here wasn’t an easy one, the path was really rocky and rough with twists, and turns but you still made it. Pat yourself on the back, you’re doing so well. Thank you so much for reading. I hope that the reading resonated and that it provided you with the answers, and guidance that you wanted and needed. Much love and take care 💋.

⊹ ! ೀ Pile 2 ꒱

Your strength is that you’re a protector and provider, and your wound is that people either don’t see it, take it for granted or are intimidated by it. Also, a very interesting thing that was happening when I was shuffling for you was that I wanted to channel ‘strengths and wounds’ but I kept on messing up and saying ‘strengths and weaknesses’. I feel like it was because your wounds have caused you to feel really weak or have created a weakness within you in some way. Don’t worry, we’ll look into it properly so that you can heal these parts of you and reclaim your power. I just heard that audio “they gonna hate me regardless, that’s why I do what I do.” Also, you’re more of a man than most men are 😭. You’re naturally a protector and provider, and I’m picking up on a lot of passion from you including an emphasis on sexual intimacy. Currently if you’re single, this can simply manifest as feeling horny frequently or/and masturbating a lot (or well just craving that orgasm even if you’re unable to touch yourself) but you’re definitely very passionate in romantic relationships, likely physically affectionate in other ways outside of sexual intimacy as well. You’re friendly and charismatic, and approach others with a fairly soft yet a bold and almost flirty demeanour. I feel like you’re this way with your same sex friends more than anyone else. You have a strong aura and it is because you possess a lot of integrity. ‘Substance over form’ is the kind of person that you are and that’s your strength. You’re really solid on the inside possessing courage, generosity, principles, ethics, a sense of responsibility, maturity, passion, loyalty, so on and so forth. You have turned out to be a strong person with a well rounded and strongly grounded character despite everything that you’ve undergone instead of letting it turn you bitter, and resentful. I’m hearing ‘easy on me’ by Adele. “Go easy on me baby, I was still a child didn’t get the chance to feel the world around me. I had no time to choose what I chose to do. So go easy on me.”

“There ain’t no room for things to change when we are both so deeply stuck in our ways, you can’t deny how hard I’ve tried. I changed who I was to put you both first but now I give up.” Some of you could have childhood trauma - endless sacrifice for your parents while some of you didn’t have parents and did everything to please your guardian(s), and the rest of you dealt with bullying or aggression from others and the ones who don’t relate to any of the above could have lost someone (possibly multiple people) and they could have been acting very egotistically, making you feel weak but it was not exactly your loss even if it may have felt like it at the time. Some of you may have hit the lottery and dealt with all of the above 😍. You could have also lost someone who you sacrificed a lot for. I just got the word ‘everyone’ and earlier at the beginning of the reading I had received the word ‘burnt’. Did you at some point feel like you lost everything and were burnt by everyone? You may have also felt as though you sacrificed a lot, too much of yourself for others in the past. “So you can love me, hate me, you will never be, never be, never be me. Try me, I’ll break free, you will never be, never be, never be me.” The song is literally titled ‘rebel heart’, I feel like back then despite any feeling of weakness and despite surrendering for the sake of peace, and feeling as though you lost, you knew that you hadn’t. You were rebelling from within and not egoistically but by channelling all your inner strength. You’re really confident in yourself now. I’m trying to dig up your past but you’re showing me how great you are in the present. You know that no one can ever be you. “I’ve tasted being the bigger person, I’ve also tasted matching energy. I recommend no contact.” You value your peace more than anything. You are ethical, reliable, long term oriented and seek excitement, and passion in long term matters rather than by seeking fleeting thrill. In fact, the more safe, stable and grounded a connection is, the more passion, excitement and joy you experience.

You do not feel any desire to wander or be unfaithful, your passion is reserved for just your significant other and your significant only. Like, you don’t even get tempted 💀. For example, if you’ve been in a relationship with someone for years, you’d rather try to experience new sorts of passion and excitement with them rather than get connected with someone new, and ruin something beautiful that you already have going and even if that’s not possible in grand ways just the fact that they’re loyal, and that you share a stable, safe and grounded connection is enough for you to be able to find passion, joy and excitement in the littlest of moments. You don’t get tempted or attracted to others. Also, you watch your character because of who you are as a person and who you want to be rather than to impress anyone. You may be someone who tries to avoid wandering eyes even when you’re single and just really try to watch your character in every way that you can because you are, and want to be a certain way. You’re a really well rounded person - you seek peaceful resolution and if you don’t find that, you seek peace even if it is by yourself, you don’t mind compromising, and have in fact, sacrificed majorly in the past. You know how to make amends with situations by now and you also have a side within you that’s like “I am me, you are you. If you do me dirty, fuck you” but your ethical peace seeking side overrides this. You’re loyal and try to maintain a strong character for yourself rather than for impressions, and are passionate as well. Also, you’re very romantic and care deeply, and genuinely about your partner. You want teeth rottingly sweet romance i.e. the shoulder kisses, climbing up the fences to get into some forbidden property, candlelight dinner, watching fireworks together and you going “so pretty” while looking at the different designs in the sky while they look at you and repeat your words, basically the whole nine yards. You’re also highly capable of it. You’re willing to do anything and everything for your partner as long as it doesn’t go against your morals.

I wonder if many of you are elder daughters or something because there’s so much about sacrifice, maturity and provision. I don’t mean to be a misandrist but I don’t think that I’ve ever met a man this well rounded and with such a strong character. You could have always sacrificed and done so much for your family, provided so much to them, and just been so mature and responsible from such a young age that that’s just who you are now. I wouldn’t be surprised if you already are or will provide financially for your family in the future. “I knew you, leaving like a father, running like water.” It doesn’t mean that your father or any parent left you (though it could be) but that you didn’t feel safe and stable with them so you have become a stable, and reliable individual to feel safe within yourself and to find a partner who provides the same qualities to you. Looking at your wounds, you feel like people let you go too easily. They often chose other people too. Oh my god, I just started hearing ‘the other woman’ by Lana Del Rey. It seems to have been a pattern for you. You were in contact with them in a very consistent manner so it could have been a friend who was using you as a placeholder for a romantic relationship until they found someone to commit to 💀. You are very diligent and have basic human decency so when someone is in your life, even if it is not a situation with commitment involved, you do whatever you can for them and are very present so when you were not fully claimed but not fully let go of, and had them let you go after finding a romantic relationship, you felt really manipulated. By this point, you don’t really question your worth anymore but back then, you wondered if you were unworthy of being chosen and committed to. For those of you who do not resonate with this, when it was time for people to make choices, their loyalties seemed to lie elsewhere. Even the closest connections that you had didn’t live up to their potential and in fact, you felt deceived.

“How long could we be a sad song till we were too far gone to bring back to life I gave you all my best me’s, my endless empathy and all I did was bleed as I tried to be the bravest soldier. Fighting in only your army, front lines don’t you ignore me, I’m the best thing in this party (you’re losing me) and I wouldn’t marry me either, a pathological people pleaser who only wanted you to see her, and I’m fading thinking ‘do something babe, say something. Lose something babe, risk something. Choose something babe, I’ve got nothing to believe unless you’re choosing me.’” “I can’t find a pulse, my heart won’t start anymore for you cause you’re losing me.” “My heart won’t start anymore, my heart won’t start anymore.” You feel as though you’ve never been able to develop and share deep intimacy, and love with someone that is pure and whole, and where you choose each other again and again. I just heard “she has other friends that she likes better”, you’ve just felt as though everyone chose and enjoyed other peoples company more, and that you were let go of so easily as though you were worthless. “If you feel too abandoned by others, it’s because you’ve abandoned yourself” ofcourse, it’s okay to feel bad about being abandoned and used. ‘Enough for you’ by Olivia Rodrigo is coming through. “Stupid, emotional, obsessive little me. I knew from the start this is exactly how you’d leave. You found someone more exciting, the next second you were gone and you left me there crying, wondering what I did wrong and you always say I’m never satisfied but I don’t think that’s true cause all I ever wanted was to be enough. Don’t you think I loved you too much to be used and discarded? Don’t you think I loved you too much to think I deserve nothing? So don’t tell me you’re sorry boy, feel sorry for yourself cause someday I’ll be everything to somebody else and they’ll think that I’m so exciting, and you’ll be the one who’s crying. You always say I’m never satisfied but I don’t think that’s true, you say I’m never satisfied but that’s not me, it’s you cause all I ever wanted was to be enough and I don’t think anything could ever be enough for you. No, nothing’s enough for you.”

You felt as though you abandoned yourself and didn’t have any boundaries or standards just because you wanted to be chosen, and loved back then and you’ve forgiven yourself for that, and grown into your power immensely by strengthening your character and I’m so incredibly proud of you but the shame, guilt, regret, and pain that you experienced back then was on another level. You felt as though you failed to maintain loyalty to yourself and choose yourself. There was this sense of having lost yourself due to a desire to be chosen mixed with a feeling of inferiority. You felt inferior and powerless in the connection or well, connections but even after they ended, you felt inferior and powerless, in fact, now that you could see things more clearly, you felt more inferior, powerless and ashamed of yourself. You lacked direction back then and were misdirecting your energy into trying to receive love, and be chosen by acting inferior and slowly started believing it yourself because others treated you like such when you could have been improving yourself, your skills and your life instead. You felt like you betrayed yourself. The song ‘I’ll never fall in love again’ by Dionne Warwick is coming through. “What do you get when you fall in love? A guy with a pin to burst your bubble. That’s what you get for all your trouble. I’ll never fall in love again. I’ll never fall in love again. What do you get when you kiss a guy? You get enough germs to catch pneumonia, after you do, he’ll never phone ya. I’ll never fall in love again. Don’t you know that I’ll never fall in love again? Don’t tell me what it’s all about cause I’ve been there and I’m glad I’m out. Out of those chains, those chains that bind you. That is why I’m here to remind you. What do you get when you fall in love? You only get lies and pain and sorrow.”

You’re a deeply romantic person but due to how genuine you are, how much you offer and all the deception that you’ve faced. You are more focused on your daily routines, money, career, work and study. You might also have a wound regarding skills. You want to develop skills and you know you have it in you but you just haven’t been able to, you just aren’t being able to, you’re being told to keep going consistently. You’re probably rolling your eyes externally or internally at what I just wrote because it’s not like you haven’t tried to develop these skills consistently because you have but that no matter how much you have tried, you just haven’t been able to but you’re still being encouraged to keep going. Having experienced all that you’ve experienced, you’ve become very self and character focused. You care a lot about other people’s character as well as your own. You have high standards now and until you meet someone who matches them close to perfectly, you are not interested in any sort of romance. You really do want to find this person though because you have so much love to give and genuinely want to experience the soft mushy gushy romantic, and passionate kind of romance. You want to experience a soft romcom movie and ‘fifty shades of grey’ kind of romance at the same time with just one person for the rest of your life but it is very important for you to be able to respect, admire and rely on that person. Passion is very important to you in romance and life in general. Due to how you’ve had to take on really responsible roles throughout your life and always hold this sense of responsibility, and duty within you, and how sacrificing and resolution seeking you can be despite a very hot, and strong fire within you. You need a partner who’s more of a man than you are. Someone who is a good leader, passionate, charismatic, go getter, action oriented, loyal, grounded, ethical, responsible, reliable and romantic. Someone who lets you be bratty and express anger, and also doesn’t take advantage of your problem solving, peaceful and resolution seeking nature.

You tend to be fairly submissive on the outside despite the inner strength you possess so you need someone who is happy with themself and doesn’t feel the need to dominate, and belittle you in order to feel better about themself. I’m not going to lie, due to how passionate you are, you have a very competitive and resentful side to you but also you’re very peaceful, and forgiving. You truly are such a well rounded person. You might attract a lot of hostility and aggression due to this. People can pick up on your inner drive but you seem to harmless on the surface that they try to crush your spirit because they just feel a sense of competitiveness, hostility and aggression towards you without any real reason and you have a strong character on the inside so you don’t break externally but instead usually maintain peace so they don’t understand why and how you’re so unaffected 💀😭. You want a partner who can handle your angry and difficult sides, the ones that are deeply passionate. You cannot settle for just anyone because now that you’ve grown as a person, you’ve grown into your character and strength, you get really bad vibes from most people, and notice their faults and flaws quite easily. ‘CO2’ by Prateek Kuhad is the song that I’m getting here. “Maybe it’s the way that you can see what I’m missing what I can never be.” “Maybe it’s the man that you see in me.” Most people won’t be able to live up to your standards due to how high they are but they’re just normal to you because you can live up to them so you don’t need to lower them. You need to look at things differently now, you’re not unworthy, things are better now, life is brighter now. You are likely to intimidate people once they start seeing your character more clearly. The closer that they’ll get to you, the more that they might feel inferior or like they don’t live up to what you need them to be. You can be critical to some extent because of how high your standards are even for yourself but it’s coming as a strength of yours. Only accept those who are actively trying and being able to live up to what your standards are. If someone gives up or doesn’t try, trust me, you’re better off. Those who think that they’re not enough, they know themselves more than you know them because they experience consciousness from within themself, because they can hear their own thoughts and know about their own actions, and tendencies so believe them when they talk or act like they’re not enough. Right now, I’m getting that while you’re capable of romance, you’re focused on consistently bettering yourself, improving your lifestyle, your career, money, routines, work and studies. You are on the right path. It’s okay to want romance but don’t ever lower your standards by even just an inch or a millimetre because you can live up to your own and you deserve an equal. Thank you so much for reading. I hope that the reading resonated and that it provided you with the answers, and guidance that you wanted and needed. Much love and take care 💋.

⊹ ! ೀ Pile 3 ꒱

(TW: Mentions of abuse, sexual assault, etc.)

Some of you have daddy issues or some kind of issue caused by aggressive people but there’s a strong theme of boys and men here. There are so many scenarios coming through, you’re obviously not going to relate to all of them. For some of you, you’ve just dealt with aggression, threatening your sense of belonging while some of you have dealt with abandonment from either or both parents or just an absence of them, there are even mentions of abuse here for some of you if your parents were present. An angry father or parental figure? If not, you have had terrible experiences with the male gender. It could be something as simple as having boys make fun of you in middle school. These incidents have wounded you really deeply. I’m having a really hard time putting all the scenarios down. There’s definitely some sort of a deep wound when it comes to belonging - be it family, home, community, school or work. Also little incidents grew into real big ones that I’m hearing traumatised you. For example, you got with some guy, that changed the entire trajectory of your life. The thing is, you received a lot of intolerance from everyone for a major part of your life. It escalated close to abuse, violence and bullying at some point, and for many of you, it could have had something to do with a guy. Don’t get me wrong, it would have been a part of your life either way. People just have been so aggressive, unruly and intolerant towards you for no reason, you didn’t deserve that but I will explain how it could have had something to do with a guy for many of you. For example, you got into a relationship with some guy, you could have been heavily criticised by other people who also liked and wanted him considered you to be ‘not good enough’ for him just for this guy to break up with you in a disrespectful manner with no regard for you whatsoever, and after that, I’m getting that either the aggression and bullying from other people intensified or the effects of the previous unruly treatment started affecting you intensely.

Many of you have dealt with an abusive situation even if it’s just emotionally though it could have been physically for some of you (by parents, romantic partners, etc.) Do not invalidate your experiences ever because even if others might think that it was not abuse, it definitely was. It affected you so deeply, I’m not even being able to express it properly. I’m just crying right now. If you didn’t deal with any of the above situations. Though, I believe that many of you have dealt with all or at least majority of what I’m mentioning. Then, you dealt with guy friends who were using you for an ego boost and acted as though you wanted them so bad if you simply tried to keep the friendship going or tried to fix things instead of ending them. Guys have made you feel really preyed on. People in general have but guys especially. Some of you could have even dealt with men trying to assault you sexually. It could have been something as simple as someone forcefully kissing you as a child or making you watch porn. Something like this could have happened when you were a teen or an adult too but I just got that since kids are the most vulnerable, it likely happened to many of you as kids. Oh my god, no way. I just heard “he doesn’t like cougars, he likes little kids. He stopped liking me when I turned eighteen.” I feel like your life has always been this way. Having people walk all over you and treat you like shit but it got especially worst in your teen years. I’m not sure what happened at fourteen and seventeen specifically but seventeen was your last straw, and your experiences all the way from when you were fourteen contributed to finally realising the truth. In fact, your experiences before that contributed too but I’m picking up that mistreatment and aggression were/felt the most extremely during your teenage years. Any childhood abuse or mistreatment, or instability, you realised the truth of all of that through what you experienced during your teenage years. People genuinely just lacked compassion towards you and you had to deal with a lot of loneliness.

It is like anytime that you were not keeping to yourself and connecting with others, they were abusing, using and mistreating you. People used to treat you aggressively, make fun of you and mistreat you for their own sick sense of enjoyment, in order to boost their ego, and have fun. I’m so sorry, you didn’t deserve all that. Even when you were with people, you were very lonely and felt insecure, and lacking due to the way they used to treat you and once you finally got away, you felt incredibly insecure, unstable, and lacking but you chose that over mistreatment from others and that’s how you grew. “Don’t be afraid to stand alone. Don’t be afraid to stand outside your comfort zone. I know it’s hard away from home and it ain’t easy all alone.” You had a strong thirst for knowledge from since you were a kid but during this time of loneliness, it transformed into a need. You were seeking truth and clarity because you genuinely needed it to move forward but you have always possessed some sort of a divine knowledge. Which is why you were able to be so compassionate, still and passive at the face of such mistreatment, aggressiveness and lack of compassion. Divinity exists within all of us and you were aware of that. So you naturally acted like the bigger person until you couldn’t anymore but this breakdown caused you to get closer to your own truth. You started realising that while it’s good to learn through external sources, true knowledge and wisdom is something that we are just born with, and that anything else that comes through, it should come from within. For example, we are not born racists, as kids, all we want is to receive and give love, and we are active, and full of life, that’s the only knowledge that truly matters - the ability to be yourself in your highest, most divine and purest form. You also realised just how shitty the treatment that you received in the past was and how lonely, and insecure you were.

You may have felt at home with these people or shared a community with them but even so, you decided to act with integrity and do right by you even if it required loneliness or/and isolation. For some of you, after all of this had passed, you met someone who you felt really at home with but for some reason, you still had to logically act out of fairness and had to reward them with the consequences of their actions rather than with negotiation. The trajectory of your growth has been amazing. One of your strengths is your sense of hope and faith. You felt like you’d never get anything good in life and that your life was doomed, and that you’d be lonely and empty forever but you still kept going, and you managed to get better so now you have hope and faith regarding life. Back then, you just wanted to feel better, get better and now, you have so now you have a sense of direction, you’re focused on nourishing yourself. You are connected to your core essence and are comfortable with your vulnerability, and sense of nakedness i.e. your authenticity. You’re nourishing and loving yourself wholeheartedly in any, and every way possible though. Yes, there’s always room for improvement. Like, for example, you may do your skincare, workout and do your work diligently but you may not eat all three meals so you could work on that, etc. But definitely, you try to make sure to eat even if you’re busy because your nourishment means a lot to you. You might be unable to have all three meals but you try. You’re very intense in terms of romance and also really romantic. but you don’t try to put in time, energy, and effort into romance anymore unless the other person comes to you first and is consistently present, and shows promise of a solid future but you’re very content being alone. You in fact, really enjoy it. You are on a journey of self discovery and improvement, and understand yourself and love very deeply due to how much time you’ve spent alone, by yourself, in contemplation, and soul searching.

You’ve drawn out a lot of wisdom from within yourself. You’re spiritually enlightened and don’t mind being alone or different. Even if it is difficult, even if you’re considered to be difficult, you want to be yourself. “Share my life, take me for what I am cause I’ll never change all my colours for you. Take my love, I’ll never ask for too much, just all that you are and everything that you do.” You’re aware by now that it is nothing except self betrayal to try to earn love by changing yourself because even if you manage to receive love, they won’t be living ‘you’ and if you don’t win them over, you’d have lost yourself in the process, and would feel terrible about yourself so you’d rather be alone but yourself. That one bible story is coming through here. “Jacob agreed to work for seven years to marry Rachel, the woman he loved but was deceived by her father Laban and ended up marrying her older sister, Leah. Though he fulfilled his time and eventually married Rachel too, Jacob loved Rachel more than Leah. Seeing that Leah was unloved, god allowed her to bear children while Rachel remained barren. With each son she bore, Leah hoped that Jacob would finally love her - naming her first Reuben, saying, “now my husband will love me”, her second Simeon because “the lord has heard that I am hated”, and her third Levi, thinking, “now my husband will become attached to me.” However, Jacob’s heart did not change. When she bore her fourth son, Judah, Leah no longer pleaded for her husband’s affection but simply said, “this time I will praise the lord.” You seem to be aware of the fact that love that is not freely given can never be earned so you don’t even try. If you found the kind of love that you desire, if you found someone who loved and cherished you, you would be intensely passionate and romantic, honestly to an extreme but that’s because, that’s just who you are. You’d indulge in it very deeply. You’d experience the feeling of being ‘drunk in love’.

“With you, there’s silence in a crowd. There’s a little unconsciousness, with you, because of you.” You’d make an intense lover who loves incredibly deeply but you’re not interested in trying to earn anyone’s love in order to channel your romantic energy. You might in fact, have these sides of you pretty hidden. All of you have different kinds of personality but all of you have a very meek one. Some of you are more of the silent kind, some of you may be talkative when with others and might seem really social, and some of you might manage to do both but if you do have a talkative and social side, there’s this thing about you in which once you are out of that social situation, you struggle to stay in touch with others, isolate yourself and randomly disappear. Also, the more time that you spend in a social situation and with certain people, the more silent and internal that you tend to get. I’m loving all the messages that are coming through for your strengths. We don’t see through our eyes, we see through our minds. Our eyes are just a medium for us to perceive the external world and interact with it. There’s so much in the world about ‘finding god’ or ‘figuring out the meaning of life’, people just want to know where and how it all started, and where and how we will all end up after death so they seek god but do they really manage to find divinity? Most people don’t because god made it so simple yet so tricky to find them by choosing to reside where they’re currently residing i.e. within each person. Most people aren’t able to comprehend that divinity can reside within them because they think that figuring out the mysteries of life and receiving answers is much more complicated than that, and that’s okay but they’d easily find divinity, god, whatever they want to call it if they only turned their vision inside and looked within themselves. Most of you are aware of this truth so you try to keep yourself as clean, good and pure spirited as possible because divinity should not reside in a dirty place. It does not have to be conscious awareness or conscious trying but you’re just incredibly internal and have learned so much from going within yourself that you’ve found your guide there, your divinity itself and you’re well aligned with your life purpose. If you’re not quite there yet, you soon will be. Thank you so much for reading. I hope that the reading resonated and that it provided you with the answers, and guidance that you wanted and needed. Much love and take care 💋.

[beloveds-embrace]

I live for the Found Family trope, it is like the air I breath and the dukedom AU is an amazing found family AU. Like the dutchess family never really cared for her, she was a commodity to be sold to her husband for political gain and she expected a life of abuse and servitude under his control, just like she was to her parents. But then she meets these amazing 4 men who worship the ground she walks on and takes time to actually get to know her and appreciate and love her and for the first time in her life she realises what a family is all about. Its love and acceptance and it is so so beautiful. And if her parents were cruel to her before her marriage and they find out? They say hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, but those boys would do everything in their power to destory her birth families reputaion and burn them to the ground.

FOUND FAMILY TROPE IS SO GOOD I ADORE IT 😩 i fully agree with you babes it makes me soo happy to write and see duchess getting loved like this

Dukedom 141 masterlist

You had spent your entire life as a pawn on your parents’ chessboard. A daughter shaped and molded not for love but for utility- trained to smile, to bow, to obey, first and then for your eventual husband. Your parents had made it clear that your worth lay in what you could offer them: alliances, power, status, and children. When they married you off, it wasn’t for your happiness. It was to seal a deal, and you had braced yourself for a life of cold, unfeeling servitude.

But then… there was John. And Kyle. And Simon. And Johnny.

You hadn’t expected kindness. You hadn’t expected warmth. You certainly hadn’t expected love. But that’s what you found with them anyways, a safe place to let your tender little heart rest and be adored

Johnny, with his reckless charm and unwavering loyalty, was the first to make you laugh when you thought you never would again. Kyle, steady and dependable, made you feel safe in ways you hadn’t even known you needed. Simon, sharp-tongued and fiercely protective, saw straight through your walls and vowed to stand guard at their gates. And John-your husband in name, but so much more than that in heart- looked at you like you were his entire world and made sure you never doubted it.

A family forged- not by blood, but by choice. And for the first time, you understood what family was supposed to be. It was laughter shared over quiet dinners and comfort offered without question. It was hands that held you steady, hands that didn’t hurt or inflict pain on you, but rather held you like you meant the world. And voices that called your name not as an order but as a promise. It was love, unconditional and endless.

When your birth family cams for a visit, they thought they still held power over you. They thought their words and threats could send you crawling back, begging for their approval. Cruelty lacing every letter and ever word, meant to remind you that they truly view you as something to be used and abused per their wants and needs.

But they hadn’t accounted for the four men who stood by your side now.

Johnny laughed at their arrogance when they demanded to see the chef because they weren’t happy with the food, sharp and biting, remembering how he had to spend nights promising you that you weren’t losing or gaining weight, you didn’t need to skip out on meals out of fear- he knows it was all their fault and he hates them. Kyle, calm but cold, began drafting plans to dismantle their influence piece by piece, never once hesitating, from the very second he witness the way they brushed you aside and didn’t let you speak. Simon was already spreading whispers that would see their allies turn against them, and John- oh, John- made it clear that any further attempts to harm you would be met with ruin, his voice sharp and eyes sharper, pullinh you behind him gently when it was clear your parents might strike you.

Because hell hath no fury like a woman scorned? No.

Hell hath no fury like the men who love her.

And to you, it was such a beautiful fury.

[novakology]

rosé-coloured love - melissa schemmenti + the different ways she says i love you

melissa doesn’t always say it out loud. she has her own way of letting you know — and you’ve learned to listen.

cotton candy chronicles - your navigation

“You eat yet?”

🌸She doesn’t say “I love you” first thing in the morning — she says, “You eat yet?” as she slides over a tinfoil-wrapped breakfast sandwich she picked up from “the good place, not that tourist crap.” 🌸You open it and find your favourite. No onions. Extra cheese. 🌸You smile. She shrugs. “I know what my girl likes.”

“Stay behind me.”

🌸You’re walking through a sketchy part of town after a late school event. A group of loud teenagers starts acting up, and Melissa subtly shifts to stand in front of you. 🌸“You stay behind me,” she mutters, eyes scanning the sidewalk like a hawk. 🌸You reach for her hand. She lets you hold it, even as her other one’s curled into a fist. 🌸Protectiveness is her love language.

“I told my sisters about you.”

🌸Melissa doesn’t bring just anyone around her family — blood or otherwise. So when she casually drops, “Yeah, I told my sisters about you,” while grading papers, your head snaps up. 🌸“You did?” 🌸“Course I did,” she says like it’s nothing, even though it very much isn’t. “They’ll love you. Or else.” 🌸That’s the closest thing to a marriage proposal coming from a Schemmenti.

“You’re not wearing that out, are you?”

🌸Sometimes she’s blunt — okay, always. But when she frowns at your outfit, it’s not judgment. It’s possessive affection. 🌸“I am wearing this.” 🌸“Not when you’re with me, you’re not,” she grumbles, but pulls you into a kiss anyway. “You’re gonna start a riot in South Philly lookin’ that good.”

“I made extra.”

🌸Melissa doesn’t “meal prep,” she cooks like she’s feeding the neighbourhood. But there’s always a specific Tupperware with your name on it in her fridge. 🌸Sometimes it’s baked ziti. Sometimes it’s meatballs. Sometimes it’s a sandwich from a deli where she knows the owner’s mom. 🌸Either way, she’ll hand it to you with a “Don’t you dare skip lunch, got it?”

“You make me soft, ya know that?”

🌸It comes out one night when you’re curled up together on her couch, half-watching a crime drama. 🌸She’s sipping wine, you’re tracing her hand. 🌸“You make me soft, ya know that?” she says, almost annoyed, like it’s your fault she feels this much. 🌸You just kiss her shoulder and say, “Good. Someone’s gotta.”

“Marone, I love you.”

🌸She does say it sometimes — but it usually slips out when you’ve made her laugh so hard she snorts, or when you’ve stood up to someone for her. 🌸“Marone,” she mutters, hand on her heart like you’ve physically knocked the wind out of her. “I love you, you pain in my ass.” 🌸She acts like she didn’t mean to say it, but she doesn’t take it back.

“If anyone hurts you…”

🌸Once, someone made a comment that crossed a line. You brushed it off. Melissa did not. 🌸She cornered them after school, voice low and terrifying. 🌸You found out when Ava told you: “Yo, your girl went full mafia on that guy. It was hot.” 🌸When you confronted Melissa, she just said, “Nobody talks to you like that. Ever.”

“You’re mine, capisce?”

🌸It’s not a question. It never is with her. 🌸And when she says it, you feel safe. Wanted. Claimed in the best, most protective way. 🌸You grin. “I capisce.” 🌸“Good,” she murmurs, pulling you in, “Now come here and let me show you how much.”

and this is how she loves you: through warm food and sharper words. through guarded glances and fierce loyalty. through the rare softness she only ever lets you see. she may not always say it out loud — but you’ll never go a day without knowing.

[i-starcreamed]

Beggingggg for a Megatron (Transformers One) x kind male reader who looked up to him not as a friend but as a small crush. Megatron saw jt at first when he was D-16 and didn’t think much until when he declared to kill their leader (did not like him that I forgot his name) and tries to take advantage of the readers fondness towards him to make him join his side. The reader knows it’s wrong and declines which turns into a small argument about why the reader should join them..

THINKS OF SOME TOXIC TANGO OF LOVE AND LOYALTY WHERE ONE ISNT SURE—

MEGATRON X READER

Basically megop but with Y/N. You two are divorced YOU COULD HAVE BEEN SO MUCH MORE!! Also I don’t mention pronouns that often in my work but I’m tagging this as male reader :3

[cybertronian! male reader Angst AGAIN 😭 not that much though, you guys just argue a lil]

As D-16, he hadn’t thought much of your crush. He knew you as the mech who treated everyone with kindness, a trait he silently admired. You were almost an even softer version of Orion, gentle to a fault sometimes.

You were with them when you went to find the Primes, there, you uncovered the truth as they did. You watched as D-16's expression fell with every detail revealed about Sentinel and..everything he did.

Gesturing for him to follow you, you pulled him aside. He did so without hesitation—he knew you had no ill intent. Maybe his entire life had been a lie, but at least you were still there. As genuine as ever.

"I can’t believe…” he muttered, his voice strained. His optics moved across the ground, he had to blink rapidly to snap himself out of whatever thoughts he was having. You quickly placed a comforting servo on his shoulder, grounding him before he could spiral.

“D, look at me. I can’t believe it either,” you whispered, locking optics with him.

“We’re going to stop him…okay? I’m here with you.” You murmured. Was it a confession? Maybe so.

Your words hung in the air, heavy with hesitation. “I’ll follow you anywhere. We’ll get through this..together.”

D eyed you, his own voice faltering for a second.

“Yeah… yeah, okay.” He exvented, his optics again panning towards the ground as he let you comfort him. Despite the small flutter in his spark, the sudden goal to make Sentinel pay overrode any other emotion. He will pay.

When D-16 spiraled into Megatron, you were the first he sought out. His eyes were not the vibrant golden they used to be. You questioned him, to which he eagerly—almost desperately, held onto your shoulders in response.

“Y/N…listen to me. Do you trust me?”

“..I do trust you.”

“Then join me, come with me. I know how I’m going to make Sentinel pay for his lies. Unlike Orion's plan, I will make sure it gets done.”

You slightly shook your helm, “But D.. you two should be working together. Not split apart. I don’t want you doing anything uh.. extreme.”

His optics turned cold, narrowing in anger. “Extreme? You call my ideas extreme? Sentinel was the one that has been keeping us as slaves,” He hissed, inching towards you. “For years, for years, I thought we were doing the right thing. But no, everything was a lie. You, Y/N—you have to understand”

You watched in horror as Megatron killed Sentinel. He should have been satisfied now, but he wasn't. He called upon an army. Freedom fighters, but now they fought for a cause that no longer needed fighting. From his elevated position on the structure above, you locked optics.

His gaze flickered, just for a moment, as he took in the fear in your expression. Once, you looked up to him as someone you admired. Hell, you thought you loved him. Deep down, a part of you still did.

He’s still D-16, maybe. He must be, right?

You realized maybe you did have different ideals, different goals. To you, it should have ended when Sentinel was exposed. Then you had no option, perhaps after his death? You all would have rebuilt Cybertron together. Maybe even properly confess to D. Things just didn't go as planned in many ways.

But now, you could only watch as he descended the stairs toward you, his steps slow and deliberate.

You flinched, feeling his servo against the side of your helm. He stopped a couple inches away from you, leaning down, his voice a low hiss,

“Do you see it now, Y/N? That…I did that for you. For us.” His fingers traced the ridges of your helm, a caress that made your spark stutter in confusion. He was never, ever, this bold as D-16.

“I want you to join me. We can do this together.”

You hesitated, still trying to process how affectionate he was being with you. As much as you've dreamt of this, there was something off about it. D-16 was always soft, and casual about his demeanor. This Megatron was intense, his red optics burning into yours.

“Megs…I can’t.” You murmured. This was wrong. Very very wrong.

Megatron raised a brow, “You cannot?”

His servo shifted, cupping your chin and tilting your helm upward to meet his gaze. “Tell me something, Y/N. Are you a liar too?”

You furrowed your brow, “What? No, no, I haven’t lied to yo—“

“You said you’d follow me anywhere," He interrupted, "I need you to do that now.” He said in a softer tone, but you heard the hint of menace in his voice. It was an order, not a plead.

You took a deep intake, slowly stepping back from his grasp—his servo hung in the air for a moment before falling to his side.

“I don’t want to kill anyone, Megatron. I’m sorry, I can’t do this with you.” You said firmly, your voice steady. You had made up your mind.

His teeth clenched, frustration flaring in his optics as he stepped closer again, closing the distance between you two.

“Where is loyalty when you need it the most!? Where is it?! Tell me!” He exclaimed, his outburst making you take another step back.

Your optics flickered back to where Orion and your friends should be, then back at Megatron. “I want to be with you, Megs, I do. But this fight.. it’s over. Sentinel is dead.”

You stepped forward despite your frantic sparkbeat, your servos grasped onto his which were balled into fists.

“Come with me. We can help build Cybertron together, all of us. I need you to trust me.” You urged softly.

For a moment, you thought you had reached him. His optics softened, and his fists slowly unclenched, his gaze drifting to where your servos held his.

“I don’t want to rebuild Cybertron,”

He slowly scowled, his servos tightened around yours.

“I want to fix it.”

He turned away, leaving you standing in the dust and debris. You coughed, the air thick with smoke, watching him disappear into the distance with Primus knows how many High Guard fliers behind him.

You begin to wonder if you made the right choice. You wanted your D-16 back, but you couldn't bear the death and destruction that came along with Megatron.

As doubt crept in, you realized one terrible truth.

He had already won you over.

[idekkkjja]

5 Stars? ✮⋆˙ Manon x fem!reader

★ ☆ ★ ☆ ☆ Many people's warning, cautious whispers didn't deter; rather, it had the opposite intended effect, adding gasoline to an inevitable fire burning within you the moment you heard about the woman's name chanted across the women like a breathless prayer in the college bathrooms.

Manon.

5 stars or a 2-star for generosity? You're one of her exes, the most recent one at that. A guy playing dress up as a 'reporter' interviews you about the rumoured breakup between you and Manon for his shared hot gossip account that's practically the newspaper for college tea. Unfortunately, you were dragged into it.

The main question is... 'Is Manon worth the 5 stars or a 2-star?'

heads-up: Manons a jerk here, love bombing? Angst a bit, ts was supposed to be funny but exams been hurting me. LOTS. Manon cheated. She a playgirl here and got 2 many exes. Yearning, yearning, you jus think abt her. POTENTIAL COMPETITION? POTENTIAL PART TWO? (if tisissi goes well tho).

-- After that small incident at the anticipated party of the year last weekend, your name and Manon's were mentioned in nearly every topic surfacing in people's conversations on the campus. That night is when you dumped the woman, regardless of whether she cared or not in the first place.

Underneath the bright flashing lines, in the heat of warm bodies colliding against each other to the loud beat of the crude music blasting through their poor, damaged earlobes.

Hook-ups were frequent on these nights, you knew how Manon was like, but in a few weeks of your relationship, she decided to mess around with another woman? Those sweet nothings whispered in your ear in the sheets, of how she adored you and your pretty face, were they shallow words to make up the void?

Where the affection in after care, her slender arms possessively draped tight across your waist and how the muffled words against your neck were the most similar to 'you're mine forever', nothing after all?

After everything within the weeks? Were you getting attached too soon, or was she?

You didn't know and tried not to care. When you listened to your friends' constant warning of how they saw a suspiciously similar-looking woman in the arms of another woman.

Despite Manon's infamous reputation for playing women around for fun, you didn't want to believe it. Yet you investigated whether it was true or not.

And certainly it wasn't the latter.

The moment you saw it through your very eyes, your body froze like your heart. It was your fault that you pushed down your protective confines around yourself for a fucking playgirl, for God's sake.

No, you didn't cry. No, you didn't scream at her and have a screaming match with her.

You should've taken the blaring emotions out on her. But you didn't.

Instead, maintaining your aloof composure, you approached them without uttering a word, and Manon's eyes widened when she noticed you and shoved the other woman off her roughly as if burned.

Her glossed, tainted lips from another woman's lipstick parted to sputter out pathetic excuses for you to give a doubt of empathy for her. To stay, to... hear her out.

But the cold gaze burning through your gaze said it all; the heavy disappointment taking root within your heart, growing territorial vines around it and abiding your emotions to nothing although an empty… feeling that was indescribable.

Solemn to the fullest, twisting unpleasantly in your stomach—unfamiliar to butterflies blooming before.

The silence from you afterward was deafening, final, as if. Manon was unable to reach out to you, the apology paragraph she wrote was unsent since she was blocked was more than enough.

A sign to give up. She didn’t want to, the guilt fogging her irrational thoughts, spiraling to hostility to other women who assumed that she was now free yet she held extinct loyalty that should have been there during the temporary relationship.

It was her fault, Manon knew. She was stupid enough to do that—to follow blindly after her intoxicated thoughts and act upon an impulse when seeing another woman at the party.

Typically, these situations turned out to be normal for her, rushed to moving on to the next that would feed her dopamine levels.

By now, she could have been contributing to rumors sparking up of her being seen with another woman behind the block or something about being bragged by somebody that got to be in her bed.

No, nothing was heard from her either since that.

Manon’s close friends and acquaintances were confused, foreign to the silent rhythm she was displaying. Being cooped up in her dorm all day, and not attending any classes at all this week was not her thing. Nor showing up to the weekend parties, especially after another breakup.

That was the breaking point, they knew something was off.

Alcohol didn’t shake the wary emotions off her mind, rather fixating on it instead. Hot tears staining her flushed cheeks, she was hiccuping on them, and the burning liquid inside her throat that didn’t tame the avoided sadness.

In the mornings, she would fall into a routine; the woman would gulp down any remaining drinks from the night before and cry herself to another restless sleep. Those days would be on an endless replay for the week.

People hushed worriedly about what happened to Manon, and why she wasn’t seen ever outside anymore.

Slowly, she crawled out of her weeping zone, reluctantly giving in to her friends’ nagging, and went to her usual routine all before you. On the outer exterior, she seemed better. Internally, the regret threatened to seep out. Getting worse, and big.

You didn’t know that, did you? Automatically reckoning that the woman never cared in the first place. That you were bound to be temporary in her life for an adrenaline rush.

A scowl etched on your face, tagging along with your friends who were careful around you and didn’t want to bother you as your life was bad enough as it is.

An oblivious man though, didn’t care, spotted you within the crowds in the busy hallway and sought to an opportunity for being entertainment for his gossip account.

Rushing over to you as if a lost puppy finding its owner, he held out a cheap, fake microphone towards your gasping lips at the absurd situation you found yourself in.

“What the fuck is this?” Unfiltered, you asked on an instinct and your friends looked at each other knowingly.

Megan hesitated, leaning in to whisper in your ear, “an interview for the college. Don’t worry, it ain’t professional.”

Rigid in your posture, you weren’t casual for this video places for many to see and juice out the gossip. Many people don’t have lives and feed off others instead!

Yet… out of curiosity and a desire for distraction, you played along anyway, although the uninterested look in your eyes could be detected from countries away.

“I have a question! It is about you and Man—” In unison, your friends winced at the mention of the name, in a subtle warning for the reporter to shut his mouth.

Not wanting to appear weak, you maintained your mannerisms and decided to seem uncaring about the matter.

“Yeah, what about Manon?” Casually, you slowly emphasised her name, daring the faux-cluless man to drag this encounter further.

Feigning a casual act to the sensitive, burning topic, the woman's name alone would have brought you to your knees, sobbing the inevitable tears a few days ago.

Clearing his throat, the 'reporter' flashes a bright (greedily excited) smile towards the camera, batting at your disinterested, blank face for the video.

"So, as you are... no offence to her, but one of quite a few of her exes..." he started off, taking an impulsive glance at one of his wrinkled small notes stuffed in his hand for a fleeting reassurance—he carried on in his nosey question.

"How was it being with Manon? 5 stars or a one star? Everybody's dying for your input, Y/n!" And that question made you pause for a minute, the world around you encroaching onto your crude thoughts that weren't appropriate for losing your classy demeanour.

5 stars or one star, as if it were the only two options.

She wasn't the best, yes, she did spoil you often than you had expected from a woman like her; and the sex with her was more than skin contact.

A deep, lasting sensation more than merely pleasure, one fluttering within you, except her long fingers. Something, something... oddly familiar to an emotion foreign to you and her.

Those lost eye-contacts with her glazed, shiny ones that were in adoration, and the way her hands desperately clawed onto your skin to keep every part of her in contact.

Kisses were imprinted on your lips, her lip gloss serving as a substitute for yours throughout the relationship. Serving as a spark, a possibility of a future together. A hope, the fragility broken.

Her words, oh, her words... praise and praise. Written letters scribbled in her devotion for you, complimenting every feature moulded upon your face, and acknowledging the hidden quirks you had. Encouraging you to not be ashamed of them, at least not around her.

As if starved of touch, deprived of affection, a few hours from you would send Manon glued to your body and her neck shoved into your neck in the quiet nights of bottomless slumber.

Her jokes were a safe space for you, an undercurrent of her many compliments for you bottled up in her and threatening to explode!

Usually, Manon was the type to ruthlessly tease others, especially her past situationships or ex-girlfriends.

You were different.

She knew this wasn't casual anymore, and you weren't a face to mindlessly forget.

Those all listed were her highest pros, to make up for the rest.

The one-star factors were about how Manon was suffocatingly clingy without fail, up against your space and not even sexually. Just there, breathing heavily right behind you.

Also, did you mention the jealousy?

That acidic, bitter yet subtly sweet feeling would consume her whole being whenever she had the slightest misunderstanding of you and somebody else. Nights afterwards, her typical, heated and sometimes violent confrontation of those she suspected tried to woo you over, they were intense, to put it mildly.

Heated marks splayed across the visibility of your skin through clothes would shamelessly burn brightly in the light, almost impossible to cover in minimal,ncheap foundation. Rather, she acted like a vampire at this point.

In arguments, she would be prideful and insensitive, saying anything and everything to make you lose if it was something against her ego.

Her ego.

Her pride.

It ruined everything. Icy determination to wind back to her old ways didn't settle in like the regret did to her.

She regretted what she did, and you regretted ever being with her. Opening up to her in such a short space of time, getting attached too quick.

"2 stars." You stated, a final decision was made in the conflicted depths of your mind.

"2 stars?" An awkward chuckle eased the growing tension between you and your knowing friend group. unknowingly, the 'reporter' scratched his neck, dissecting each syllable of your heavy, short-spoken and vague words to something else entirely.

"Ah, that must not be so great then. Was she not that great in bed with you?" From his perspective, he assumed automatically that Manon got bored with you easily, disregarding you as another pretty face and body in her collection to flaunt over people.

He felt bad, for the first of those who interviewed was involved in dramas that were downright diabolical. Yours wasn't much, it's only been interviewed since Manon was involved, and the latter's name was enough to get people falling over their feet to get any information about her.

He could have treated you better, maybe.

Shaking those tempting thoughts immediately, the man flashed an almost... comforting smile to you, something.

You didn't react, stoic.

"Is that all?"

He didn't want this to end; he had been observing you for a while, dismissing you as finding you attractive, and that is all.

Your small actions sent him flustered when he's in his seat with his booming friends. The way you ascend your hair into a neat ponytail, showing the beautiful jawline he would crave his fingertips to trace so carefully not to create flaws across the shining skin.

"I hope you find better, yeah?" The 'reporter' nodded his hand to the camera to stop recording, but the video he anticipated turned out to be the opposite. Usually, he would be too disappointed with the results and frustrated with himself that he didn't pry too much.

Robotically, you nodded and walked off, your friends following behind and bombarding you with how you handled it so well.

Soon later, after excessive editing and exaggerating 'comedic' effects on the video, the 'reporter' used all the hashtags that he knew would bring the spotlight and clicked upload.

In a day, it went viral. Even with people outside the college, outside the country, and outside the continent engaged and curiously got involved!

This being a massive hit left no doubt that it would show up mockingly on Manon's feed, and it did.

"2 stars? 2 fucking stars?" Hurt, she scoffed under her breath.

You embarrassed her, shamed her to people she didn't know. Hell, she was tagged in the video.

No wonder her comments were filled to the brim, consisting of thirsty comments implying she can 'play with them whoever she wants' or some salty insults that she didn't take to heart.

All she cared that you referred to her as not being worthy of 5 stars.

Unhesitatingly, an unconscious bond of unyielding determination took root.

Manon will get you back.

[youdonthavetocallmedarlinnn]

When Spike fought for his soul, it wasn't to be some hero or even to save the world. Those were by products of the actual reason he obtained his soul: Buffy.

Spike was never an apologist, and he was not gonna be the kind of person with or without a soul to go on an apology tour for anyone especially when he doesn't feel bad for what he did in the past. He was a vampire, and that was something that happened to him, and it wasn't his fault. Unlike Angel, he recognizes that, and he's skipped over the whole sitting in the dark while being boring and brooding crap.

He truly hurt Buffy and tried to do something deemed unforgivable, but he is forgiven because he stepped up and took responsibility for it. His only motive for receiving his soul was Buffy, to be exclusively HER champion and to be a better man for her.

His willingness to face the pain and torture of the trials and being by Buffy's side and helping her fight the good fight is his way of making amends for the things he's done. Just because you've done something bad doesn't mean you have to wallow about it or apologize for it all the time, especially if you've taken appropriate measures to address it and change your behaviors.

And just to rant for a moment on the subject. Spike is Buffy's #1, and he proved that time and time again all through the last season when EVERYONE was questioning her motives, her abilities, and her choices at every turn. Spike never even questioned her ability to win or lost faith in her and had grown so much over the season. He went from being the guy who let her take out the shame she felt and everything she hated about herself on to him, then became the guy who built her back up when she was at her weakest. She lost faith in herself, which is profoundly dangerous on just a basic human level, and Spike showed her how he saw her, then she believed him. That is a superpower on its own, and letting yourself see and be seen is the most vulnerable and courageous thing a person can do. It invokes trust to the highest degree. Spike earned Buffy's loyalty and love, hands down, point blank.

[jxsterr]

i just might not be in the right circles but i don’t think we realise just how fucked up puppet zelda was for link to have to encounter. like the one thing that stuck out to me SPECIFICALLY was the crisis at hyrule castle questline that has link hopelessly run around after something that looks like zelda and sounds enough like her but you know there’s something deeply wrong. it was enough to disturb me when i played through it, just how close her voice was to being correct but being too solemn, being just a little too wispy, too repetitive. there’s so many things about the way she speaks that’s only a little bit off, something that a man like link, blinded and delusional by grief, would miss. he’d know deep down in his gut something is wrong, it sounds so much like her but nothing like her at the same time. every time she beckons for him his chest tightens and he feels sick and he doesn’t know why, but he does deep down. he knows this isn’t her, can’t be her, or that if it is something is deeply wrong and both outcomes are less than desirable. it’s so fucked up because realistically he isn’t going to know if he’s ever going to see her again. for all he knows she could remain wandering the putrid soils of the depths for the rest of time, but here her corpse is, being paraded around as if she truly was zelda when she’s nothing but an imposter in the skin of his lover.

so he runs and runs and fights tooth and nail for her and continuously gets close enough to just about touch her but then she disappears and almost taunts him, tells him she’s waiting and he’s growing frustrated because goddess why won’t you just stay put and let me come to you?? i’m coming, i’m trying but you keep running from me. please stop running from me. his mind is begging, pleading for her, screaming i need you i need you like a lost child because he is without her. he’s lost and a shell of the man he used to be, she is his other half and without her he’s downright nonfunctional. and despite the heartbreak of her constantly disappearing he still keeps trying, keeps following her and grows more and more desperate because he’s so close and now they’re in the sanctum and she’s stopped and maybe this is his chance so he takes a step forward and she’s doing it again. she’s taunting him, dancing around him while all he can do is turn around aimlessly in an attempt to follow her. but even then he doesn’t stop for a moment to think if this is zelda, what she’s doing is cruel because he’s far too hung up on the possibility of her being with him again he doesn’t even stop to get upset at her, doesn’t question why she’s torturing him and keeps his focus on getting to her. it’s things like this that show you why zelda has so much trust that he will be able to defeat ganondorf because he’s never stopped chasing after her and saving the world for her and he never will. she could fall and he would catch her, she could die and he would save her, she could be a husk of who she once was and he would still love her. it’s undying loyalty, unwavering love and determination to make sure she’s okay because to him, zelda is everything.

but then she stops and gets so close he could walk over there and hold her again but it’s a lie. it all was. it’s nothing short of desvastating because even though he knew something was awry it still hurts to be proven right. to have scars so painfully ripped open again knowing that he’s back to square one. the emotional turmoil that that must have put him through had to have been insane, if not soul crushing. he’d be inconsolable, sobbing and cursing the very ground ganondorf stood upon to the point where the sages would have to escort him out of the sanctum only for him to fight them because they’re the only people he can take anything out on right now. but it’s not fair because it’s not their fault, and the way that riju hushes him and does her best to speak soothingly while sidon rubs his back makes him feel all the more guilty. so they all stay there, tulin and yunobo on high alert while link is sat on the ground, knees to his chest and weeping because he was so close. he cries and cries until his throat gives out and he’s dehydrated, until sidon has to scoop him up and take him back to lookout landing and he can’t even bear to tell purah what happened but she already knows. nothing breaks through that tough exterior but the dangled hope of zelda’s return being ripped from him. none of the sages want to leave him in this state, so they camp out in lookout landing. tulin does his best to chatter on about all the cool things he’s been doing to stop link from falling completely numb and shutting everything off and it does kind of work, link cracks the slightest of smiles when tulin tells him how he took out an entire monster hideout by himself. he’s lost his world but maybe he can figure out how to keep fighting for her with friends by his side. he’ll just have to see.

[kristiliqua]

yk i love tr!sneeg but also he’s so loyal to a fault that it hurts to see . the blind loyalty and the way he just believes the ones he trusts are always correct in their judgement (cough cough tr!ros) without even trying to form his own opinion on it thats something other than “well my friend wanted my help so i help them” is like . he’s barely his own person ? but also he is ???? like he has his own goals and personality unrelated to the kingdom / his allies . but just the way he handles favors his friends ask of him without asking any questions or looking into the situation neutrally and making his own separate opinion , acting like he has no part of it despite actively helping one side (cough cough . pili 2 with !pangi) , is soooo . idk bro . his character almost seems so shallow with how he barely even tries to come to his own conclusion , and blindly helps the ones he trusts . even if their judgements might be wrong .

dare i say it . calling him the kingdom’s “dog” is . accurate lol . bc thats all he does for the kingdom ; he helps them with their requests . he is a soldier through and through . but why cant he be more than that ? i feel like his loyalty to the kingdom limits his opportunities to be a person .

so yeah anyway this is just me saying that i want tr!sneeg to leave yellow faction and become his Own Guy™ . or for yellow faction / factions in general to dissolve entirely . because his loyalty and unquestioning trust in his allies who have prominent flaws in their thinking , is problematic for everyone around him lowkey . and also i think it’d be fun to see his loyal ties / loyalty be strained :D

(edit: tbf he Does have some lines/boundaries considering what requests his allies ask of him . like if ros wanted him to kill her he would refuse . he’s not That brainless and unquestioning lol — he does this because he cares about their wellbeing . if what they ask goes against their wellbeing , he will not do it . which i love being the protector n all , but my gripe isnt really about that . bc caring about someone mentally means seeing their flaws and either accepting them or doing something about it if the flaw is hurting them and their judgement . and he doesnt do that well . because he’s too trusting)

[metalomagnetic]

Hi Metalo! First of all thank you very much for being such an not only amazing author but also such a nice person, in the last few days I went through majority of your works (which literally opened a whole new world for me) and the quality is absolutely insane and your replies to comments/Tumblr asks are so nice to read, always interesting and engaging. The thought put into your lore doesn't fail to blow my mind!<3 You are incredible! I hope your health will improve soon and without a problem!<3

Last chapter of It runs was such a pleasure to read, I loved cute domestic moments with Sirius and his kids the most and have a couple of questions.

1) Does Bella have favourite nephew?

2) Does Walburga have favourite grandchild?

3)Orion is Bella's ward, but what about other kids?

4) Who is whose best friend among kids? I imagine Harry's is Draco, and Orion is probably jealous about it, lmao

5) Did Astrid grow to actually love Harry or is she still pretending for Sirius's sake?

6) It seems like Orion&Marvelous genuinely view Harry as brother, but Sirius always notes that he is not Black (I remember he even think stuff like "perceived siblings"). Does he truly feel this way, or is he just feeling guilty before James and kinda lies to himself?

Very sorry if it's too much questions for one ask, I'm not all that familiar with Tumblr...

Thank you so much! 🥰

Orion

Orion 😂

Orion and Marvolo are Bella's wards. Helix is Regulus' (and Isadora's).

Harry and Draco are best friends! Orion gets along best with Regina and Regis. Marvolo, poor boy, is often left behind, but he has a couple of closer friends, like Avery's son and one of Yaxley's sons (that man has a lot of children).

Astrid does love Harry, but she will never love him as she loves her sons. But she does her best to treat them the same, even if not always quite successful. Hilariously, she sometimes *likes* Harry the best, because he's such a chill boy.

Everyone in that family has the awareness Harry is not a Black; even Orion and Marvolo, as they grow, they start to understand the difference. This is not just because of his last name that obviously settles him apart, but it is mostly Sirius' fault. And yes, it's because of James. Sirius would feel he's 'stealing' James' son, the last thing that remains of him, if he properly treated Harry like a Black. So in his mind there is always the distinction that Harry is James', not his. He does it out of love and loyalty to James, but perhaps it wasn't quite the best approach.

[according2thelore]

Who is your favorite Supernatural character, and what is your favorite motif or symbolism regarding them? This could be something the show gave them or not. For instance, mine is Dean, and a guard/attack dog

hi, love!!

ooh that's a good question! i LOVE dean as an attack/guard dog. oh it's delicious every time!!

personally, i've always been a bit partial to dean (since i first watched the show in 2012), but i've recently starting watching supernatural with some Normal friends (their first time), and had to join dean as the co-president of the defend sammy club. i'm in the trenches daily. i think i'm a bibro with dean tendencies...unsure...i don't think i can forsake my deangirl roots...

butttt that being said, i'm a huge fan of "dean-as-the-narrative-heart," especially when contrasted with "sam-as-the-narrative-soul."

and dean-as-the-narrative-heart is...kind of a bad thing, sometimes. which i ADORE!!!!

despite the fact and almost because supernatural is sam's story (we start and end with only sam, i could talk about this forever, let's just say i'm right for the sake of argument and move on), the audience is kind of set up to like dean more because--in my opinion--sam is the POV character, and he likes dean more.

the story stops moving when dean is gone. when dean dies (briefly) in s1, we stay with dean. when sam dies in s2, we stay with dean. when dean dies in s3, we stay with dean. when sam dies in s5, we stay with dean. when dean 'dies' in s8, we stay with dean.

the narrative doesn't go forward without dean, because spn is about sam. dean is sam's narrative heart.

dean keeps sam tethered in the physical, while sam keeps dean tethered in the metaphysical.

dean gets sam to not kill YED by appealing to sam's love for his father, and is willing to completely forsake his lifelong mission for sam's safety. he tells sam to make him "stone number one," and keeps him focused on the physical world instead of in sam's head.

and side note, sam loses a lot of physical considerations (like pain, safety, basic living) when dean is gone (e.g., doesn't even wince sewing up a bullet wound in mystery spot, doesn't sleep when dean is a demon (he looks haggard as FUCK, love him for that), and obviously starts chugging blood).

sam is a lot more spiritual than dean, and believes in angels, prays, and stresses about the state of his immortal soul a lot through the series. sam keeps dean tethered to morality & the more-than-physical through constantly tempering dean's violence/beligerence/bellicosity. outside of that, he tries to get dean to be open and emotionally vulnerable with him (e.g., after hell, about cassie, about lisa & ben). and, memorably, tells dean to "start being [his] brother again," which pulls dean back into literal soul-mate position as sam's brother.

when either of them is gone, the balance upends. sam loses his heart (becomes colder, more focused), and dean loses his soul (becomes listless, self-destructive). very fun!

but let's talk just dean for a second:

billie always tries to kill dean by stopping his heart. his first death is a heart attack. dean's greatest strength (AND weakness) is his heart--his love and loyalty to those around him.

he becomes stubborn and mean and violent because of this love--hence why dean as the heart is sometimes bad--but that's kinda the core motivation of all of his actions (e.g., selling his soul, leaving sonny's, defending john), even his bad ones (e.g., telling sam that his treatment at john's hands was his fault, gadreel, etc). even hitting/abusing ben (we can all agree is pretty inexcusable & straight-up awful) is because he wants him to be safe. he loves that kid. but he says that he felt like john, when he was drunk, and paranoid, and yelling at him.

dean is the glue holding his family together in s1. this amazing post by samdeanjohn made me bite straight through a piece of wood, and captures a lot of this.

dean is a lot of secondary characters' favourite between sam & dean in canon. charlie, cas (at first), crowley (kinda?) & bobby both prefer dean to sam. of the top of my dome, a lot of characters like rowena & missouri, as we can agree are pretty damn metaphysical, prefer sam. more on sam later.

and both on a metaphorical and textual level, dean is all about blood.

dean is furious with samuel in 6.10 for not "putting blood first." his relationship with his dad is kind of catastrophic--"he's going to taste the iron in your blood" being one of the most diabolical azazel lines when he's wearing john. (that doesn't support my statement of dean-as-heart, but makes me shiver every time).

when dean goes astray, he always has to be won back through blood. when he went to hell, sam started drinking it, cas spilled it. when he became a demon, he could only be restored through blood. in order to get dean back in "mystery spot," sam has to bleed a human completely dry.

blood is dean's downfall, and his "descent" is always marked with blood (e.g., getting bloodthirsty and decaptiating vamps after john's death, torturing alistair in s4, killing hundreds of monsters in purgatory, going on killing sprees with the mark).

hell, even when removing the mark of cain from his arm, the final ingredient is blood. blood from the caster's most beloved person. only through blood can dean be saved.

sam, of course, has a lot to do with blood as well (the demon blood, hello, being "corrupted" in his blood, being the only one to claim the MOL as "(legacy) blood"), but i argue that his main conflict is metaphysical, is his soul.

dean is compared to sam, who always has to be restored through the metaphysical. his soul has to be put back into his body in s6. he beats lucifer with the power of his soul (& love for dean, hello narrative heart!) in the s5 finale. he's saved through the exchange of a soul in s2. even through the trials, it's not his own blood that sam has to spill, but a literal glowing power underneath his skin. he finds peace with (as much as he can) his fear of blood contamination through metaphorical, soul cleanliness. being a good person. the light shining on galahad's face. "burning him clean."

sam's 'failures' are failures of the soul. he has "soul" trauma after the pit, and his moral failings are seen as a sign of his failure instead of his bloodthirsty-ness (lol) or viciousness. his soulmate-heaven with dean is being free from dean (yes, i agree this was probably a heaven manipulation, but sam is narratively framed as being in the wrong for this regardless).

in gadreel's case, dean valued blood over sam's soul. and this breaks them apart for a season.

ANYWAY! this was way more than you wanted. but thank you so much for this ask!! i had so much fun thinking about it, and absolutely devoured some transcripts searching for specific episodes, lmao.

i hope the rest of your day/evening/morning is lovely! <3

-lizzy

[npookie0]

reckless reader w/ misaki :> so like a reader who gets into many accidents, almost killing themselves!

Chaos Loving Reckless Idiot.

Misaki x reader, reckless reader, fluff, a lil silly

Words: 859

Cws: Spoilers for Killer Chat! Misaki's route,

Ever since you were a child you were known as someone reckless, clumsy, unpredictable and some more names like these. Your parents were worried sick every time you had to go out or stay at home all by yourself. They couldn't predict whether they would come back to their house set on fire or with you calmly sleep in your bed.

Your life was some serious roller coaster. Being almost run over by a car, stepping on glass, falling from a tree, practically drowning in a lake when you skipped school with your friends were daily occurrence for you. Really, if hospitals handed out loyalty cards you would own one and wear it as a badge of honour.

You were adventurous, it's not your fault you were just curious and a little bit careless! Besides, it's not like you ever got yourself into real danger, a broken arm or leg aren't deadly.

Well...

Then you joined a server for serial killers... Yay!

It was a questionable choice at best. You could end up dead if you let your tongue slip, and knowing you? That could happen any second.

Luckily, the serial killers took you for someone who's just silly in a similar way to Misaki. Someone who likes to goof around and their words should be taken with a grain of salt.

Speaking of Misaki, they're the first person who you started talking to. The two of you clicked immediately, similar interests, the silliness and all that, but there were also moments when you two could relate to each other, support each other through tough times. You were the chaos duo of the server, pranking the other members or flooding the media channel with random doodles you made.

You shared the interesting stories from your life with the assassin over calls and her reaction were always funny to you.

"Babe, I love you and all that, but you did not almost walked straight into a car crash because you were admiring your INSTANT NOODLES!" They gesticulated lively, showing how shocked they were by your story.

"Teehee~" You giggled. "They were totally worth the almost death experience." You showed them a thumbs up. "I should totally go and buy them again."

Misaki shook their head. "I don't know if I'm more in love or worried about you, you little fool."

You just stuck out tongue at them and continued on talking their ear off.

Now, you two were happily seated in your house, or maybe it was just you who was happy because Misaki looked more concerned about you. You shouldn't be surprised, you fell from a tree to give back a kid their toy that they tossed too high up, unfortunately you lost your balance and ended up on the grass with a big piece of glass in your forearm.

"Y/n, baby, love, sugar dumpling, I told you to let me do it." They said while trying their best to take out the glass piece without causing you any pain.

"But the kid asked me so I wanted to do it!" You protested, wincing in pain when she pulled out the glass and watched as she put it aside.

Misaki looked at you, brows slightly furrowed. "You're so lucky you're cute or I would be angry at you." They sighed and gently moved a wet cloth against your skin, cleaning the dirt so it won't infect the wound.

"I'm just worried about you, I've been here for a week and if it wasn't for me you would be... in a hospital at the very least." They looked hurt at the thought, imagining you in a hospital bed gave them serious heartache, they wouldn't function properly knowing that something bad happened to you.

Your eyes widened and your smile faltered. Oh. They're worried, concerned about your wellbeing with how careless you've proven yourself to be. You bit your lower lip, looking away and then down at your forearm. The wound was deep, Misaki will have to stitch it and you will get yet another scar.

"I'm... sorry Misaki." You whispered. "I'll try to be more careful, I promise. Please don't be disappointed." This was the first time you were so concerned about someone worrying about you. Maybe it's because of Misaki being someone you love, or because you don't want to give them more stress and anxiety than they already deal with, or maybe it's because of both.

You felt her hand touching your cheek, gently caressing your skin with her thumb. You leaned into their touch, breathing softly.

"I'm not disappointed, I just want you to be more careful baby." They took a deep breath. "Let's get you patched up, okay? And then we can watch something or play a game, no need for the gloomy atmosphere." They smiled at you.

Their smile made the butterflies in your stomach come alive, flutter in your stomach like crazy. You smiled back, feeling the blush creeping to your cheeks.

"You're so right." You replied.

"I know." She replied playfully with a wink.

Maybe trying to be more careful is worth it, for Misaki's sake and that sweet smile they show you.

A short story I know, but there will be a Ronin joining in soon <3

With love, N!

[11queensupreme11]

Ok, queen, i got a question. What would Cearbhall do if he caught his friend in bed with his his sister? Let's say the friend played the long game after he did the hankey pankey with his wife and waited until he got the opportunity to seduce one of his sisters. Maybe he cause a distraction that makes him leave long enough to get a few rounds in, and when he comes back, he's just sitting there smug. I mean, either way, he was dead if he tried to get revenge. At least this way, he could say he tainted his sisters before he went. (It would be funny if he slept with multiple, bc cu and cear are whores who have done that, it would be funny if the reversed happened to them.) Also how would percy feel knowing she raised a son who betrays his friends? Ya Know loyalty being her main thing. It feels kind of like a slap in the face to see your kid disrespect your domain.

Sorry for the long question! Hope you enjoying your game!

i think she'd be more concerned for the daughter tbh cuz her daughter just got fucked by a god...........

and usually, in our modern day society, sex before marriage is fine. it's whatever. no one really cares. yes ppl have their preferences, but a woman/girl having sex before marriage isn't gonna ruin her life (in some cases), you know???

but well... it's different here now (talked about this here). her daughter losing her virginity before marriage is gonna be something she has to take seriously now cuz this could mess things up for her kid!

percy's going to be SERIOUSLY pissed. there's no damn way she's gonna make her daughter MARRY this god (like what rhea did when poseidon raped her), so she'd demand the god to swear an oath of secrecy. love gods, marriage gods, sex gods, etc. probably already sensed this happen, so the best she can do now is minimize how many more people will find out. she'll have to demand oaths from those gods too

of course, an oath from the god who fucked her daughter won't really matter since cearbhall or cú chulainn would just straight up kill the dude lmao

but anyway, after that's done, it's just disappointment 💀

she will be SEVERELY disappointed in her son. she knows he's a womanizer and there's not much she can do about it aside from making sure he's practicing safe sex to prevent babies, but.... fucking your friend's wife??? what is wrong with you? WHY would you do that? what made you think that was okay?

she knows that she shouldn't expect much consideration or even basic DECENCY from a god, but this is her KID. god or not, she's going to be so disappointed in him. and cú chulainn as well for not understanding the root of the problem. cú chulainn's main concern is that some idiot went and touched his daughter, but percy's concern runs deeper than that

she knows that this is all cearbhall's fault. the blame lies on him. HE slept with his own friend's wife and as revenge, that friend went and slept with one of his little sister's and now percy's daughter's at risk.

yes, she's angry with the other god, but this is all cearbhall's fault and she wants him AND cú chulainn to understand and reflect (but again, she knows they won't. they'll just do the typical thing of getting angry and "killing the problem" away without actually trying to understand what they did wrong and changing themselves 💀)

[megadoomingir]

Yo, I cannot even begin to explain to you how interesting I find the bond you’ve created between Starscream and Soundwave. And Starscream and Knockout. And Starscream and Optimus. You do such a great job building the connections without outright stating them, but using context clues that allow the reader to kinda sorta create a name for the bond themselves while still also outlining exactly what they are.

Soundwave’s loyalty to Starscream after he saves him from Megatron, admitting his faults, begging for forgiveness for what he did to the timeline because of something selfish. Soundwave knowing Megatron isnt the mech he swore his loyalty to all that time ago. Seeing Starscream as a mech he can follow and will follow, not only because he saved him, but because he’s a better leader now than Megatron will ever be, cause disregarded because it doesn’t matter.

(I especially think the commandeering the Autobot showers scene was excellently played. It really showcased a side of Soundwave that made him even more enjoyable and endeared him not only to Starscream, but to the readers as well.)

Not only am I a HUGE Soundwave fan, but I’m very aware of how difficult it is to characterize TFP Soundwave specifically. I’m a huge fan of how youve chosen to do it, and just all of the characters in general. You make them work so well, with where and when you’ve put them!

I just love it all! I love it all so much and I cant wait to read more!

Hi, hello~!

Oh my goodness, writing for Soundwave is such an interesting challenge! He was given very little personality in the show and while some may find that it makes him difficult, it actually creates this wonderful slate to work with. Because he gives so little, it means you can allow more! We only saw blips of how he conducted himself in very specific situations. But how would he proceed given a more drastic, or even more complicated, situation? Soundwave is always going to collect information to give to Megatron; what happens when that information doesn’t have an answer to a big WHY? or HOW? Soundwave deals in rumors, yes, but he also needs basis and facts for those rumors. That’s actually what gave him his initial pause before running to Megatron in the first place; not having reasons and information to answer such big questions. And then it turned into so much more by the end. Soundwave lives and breathes loyalty to Megatron and his cause, but his pause before giving Megatron anything regarding Starscream’s collection of the relics and even his ‘future sight’ is what gave him a look into Megatron’s mental decline. Things were wrong. The obsessions were unhinged. The orders weren’t adding up towards a victory in the war Cybertron suffered for unfathomable years. All of this, all the situations and events that Soundwave was exposed to gave me a wonderful board to have him play off of and it was a delight to flesh him out more as an individual instead of the ‘background tattletale’ and ‘guard dog’ that the show titled him as.

And this is the same for the rest of the cast. They’re dealing with critical situations, some of which they can’t tackle because they had no answer at the time. Tweaking the events allowed myself as a writer and all of you as readers to digest different aspects and characterizations of these wonderful mechs, femmes and humans. A show is a show and it’s meant to entertain and I respect that wholly. In a 20+ minute episode, there’s no time for a proper conversation about a traumatic experience without it taking over completely and making it a three-parter. I’m glad you enjoy the way I’ve written these characters and pushed them to grow and I hope to continue that trajectory onward.

Thank you for reaching out and thank you for enjoying my work so much. It’s truly appreciated. :)

[starlostseungmin]

LIE TO ME, LMH.

✰ pairing: idol!minho x gn!reader

✰ genre: angst

✰ warnings: profanity, cheating, allusions to sex but not executed, just pain, grammatical errors and typos ahead. not proofread.

✰ word count: 1.5k

✰ song used: lie to me by 5 Seconds of Summer ー the afterglow series collab. ♡

✰ notes: thank you so much @comet-falls for making this collab possible! it was a challenging fic for me to write but i enjoyed it so much. please, to all who are reading the series, make sure to leave feedbacks and reblog the works of our wonderful authors because they deserve it for their hard work! don't forget it.

✰ series taglist: @fxckedupbitch ,, @rachabreathing ,, @haneuljisung ,, @mm-apples ,, @goblinracha ,, @maknaeswrld ,, @deyareasstuff ,, @michbang02 ,, @unsweetenedpeatea

There’s nothing wrong about breaking up. 

But to Minho, you were just so hard to forget. Maybe it was his fault that he blames himself whenever he thinks about you. Why did it happen? Where did he go wrong?  Where did you go wrong? For the past three years, you have been so happy. Who would have thought that your relationship would end with one repetitive mistake? 

“How many times did you do it?”

They say that the strongest relationship doesn’t depend on how long it is, but it depends on a person’s loyalty and faithfulness. You had seen a lot of it. He cheated because she wasn’t enough, she cheated because he’s stupid, he cheated because she’s not attractive, she cheated because he is just treating her like everyone else, there are a lot of reasons. You don’t know if they’re telling the truth and you have no idea how many times they did it behind your back. The relationship you build with him doesn’t go any different. 

“Did you love me?” 

There are questions unanswered. Lies. Happiness. Satisfaction. The love and domesticity. But a relationship is not complete without suffering and pain. Tears. Drunken messages and calls. 2 am fights and other bullshits. And just like everyone else, you and Minho had the same. It’s just that, one just had to take the ties between. You can cut it in half or he can just rip it apart. 

There’s nothing wrong about breaking up. 

You just did it late. 

“How long has it been?” 

The wind blows as it dances with the branches of the trees around the park. It is cold and your clothes aren’t enough to warm you up. But what feels more freezing is the relationship that turned into stone after years of being genuine. Minho sat beside you on the bench, watching the scenery together with the Namsan Tower standing a few miles away with the city lights glowing on a dark horizon. None of you decided to talk after every question. One had been keeping the answer. 

“I saw you.” A pause. “You were happy with them, and I thought I was making a name in your life,” There was a pain in that smile. One that could hide all the aftermath of what they did and as for youーnothing ever changed. “I went to New York to see you, even had to stay with you for a few days because I know you wouldn’t be home for at least a few months,” 

“You didn’t have to do that,” One said. 

“I did,” A pause again. “I did because I love you and I want to see you. How long have you been hiding this from me?” 

There were tears visible as it streams down to your cheeks. You loved him dearly, but you couldn’t stay like this forever and suffer. You admit your relationship with him had been crucial for the past few months, his life was busier than ever as you work in your family’s business. It wasn’t an issue before, the lack of time was not to blame一maybe it was or you were never really meant for each other. 

Or it was caused by a third party. 

It’s funny how the night changes when it started with Minho who was so head over heels as much as you. But when you woke up from a dream, everything fell differently. 

“I’m sorry,” He said. 

“Did you ever love me?” You asked, trying not to sound petty. 

“I did,” Minho said. “I loved you so much!” 

“Then how can you cheat on me?!” 

There was no answer again but pure silence. Nobody dared to talk, but you are sure it’s over for the both of you. He seemed happy with his new one but you feel the opposite. There are words that you wanted to yell at him, scream at him and tell him how fucked up this situation was. But there was none. It’s over, and if you were smart, you’ll forget about this and move on. Words come out makes it easy but how could you do it in just one snap?

And now, you couldn’t get something from him. 

Even those nights when you were lying naked on his bed as he kissed your body filled with warmth. The I love yous between heavy breaths and kisses. The way he made you feel his love and how your brain settled to think of him, and just him. Or those days when he would take you out on dates and escort you to your favorite places, cook for you, attend to his cats with you, and take care of you when you get sick. Minho was perfect, he was perfect, everything was perfect. 

He welcomed you into his arms as you cried harder. It hurts so much. You wondered why, how, and when. But all he said was, “Sorry,” 

Bullshit. 

“I bet he still thinks about you,” You heard Seungmin say beside you. 

“No,” You smiled bitterly. “He doesn’t,” But you weren’t sure. 

It is the night of the event that you were personally invited by the boys. It was a party to celebrate their success in completing their world tour and the awards they received from their recent album. And that closure with Minho that happened a few nights before has led to no changes at all. Seungmin patted your back as he gave you a small smile. He is your protector tonight and asked for a separate table from the 8 of them. Jisung also joined in. 

The staff already served the food but you don’t seem to have an appetite to devour it. Seungmin noticed how tired and exhausted you were from the breakup, and he knew he couldn’t do anything but keep you company. He understood how big of a jerk his hyung is, and still furious about why he had the guts to cheat on you. As if something changed overnight. 

“How long did you know?” You asked him. 

“4 months,” Seungmin answered as you gave him a nod. 

“Y/n, we did everything to stop him,” Jisung butted in but you just shake your head. 

“Thanks Jisung but, it doesn’t matter now,” You smiled at him. 

You looked at Minho from afar as he shared conversations with the CEO and his new partner. He looks happy, more than he ever was when he was still with you. And there, you wished you never started that relationship. You wished you never met him that night at the animal shelter. The pain he left still bothers you until 3 am. You couldn’t sleep at all, overthinking and everyone close to you knows you’re not happy. 

Seungmin held your hand when he sees tears running down your cheeks. It is such a pity to be this sad at an event when the public knows he is dating that person but your relationship was private. There are thoughts you wanted to tell him but just like what happened at the park that night, all he said was sorry. Seungmin pulled you into his arms and let you cry as Minho stole a glance at your table. You knew you are going to spend the next few months taking care of yourself and cleaning up the mess he made out of you. He licked his lower lip and contemplated to carry on another conversation with you again. 

“That damn asshole,” Jisung said clenching his jaw when Minho asked to talk to you. 

“Let them,” Seungmin said. 

And there you found yourself with him at the parking lot, standing face to face. 

“I have questions,” You started. “And I don’t know if I’ll ever get some answers from you. Sometimes I just don’t want to ask them.” You added, laughing bitterly in between. “Are you happy?” 

Minho bit his lip and took a deep breath before opening up, “I am,” He said as you gave him a nod. 

“After what you did, you are happy?” You asked again but before he could even speak up, a bunch of words followed from you. “You know what? I think you’re just a pure asshole who doesn’t care about me even if you showed affection. I still can’t believe you could turn your back away and the next morning you are already seeing someone else while you are still with me.” 

“But I loved you!” He argued. 

“Exactly!” You cried again. “But how about now? No, right? I’ve been dying to know but at the same time, it’s pretty stupid of me to think that you still love me because I still love you. But I’m not asking you to take me back. Just tell me you still love me, for the last time, please? Lie to me,” Your sobs were uncontrollable now and Minho just stood there, watching the mess he made out of you. 

“I love you,” He said, but sure there was hesitation before he spoke. 

“Thanks,” You smiled bitterly. “I hope you live happily,” You added turning away. 

And that was it. 

He lied. 

It is over. 

official taglist: @lix-ables ,, @zoe8stay ,, @gwynsapphire ,, @cherryhanji ,, @seungly ,, @sleepyleeji ,, @ppiri-bahng ,, @snow-pegasus ,, @milkybonya ,, @l3visbby ,, @djeniryuu ,, @tangylemonade ,, @hwan-g ,, @awkwardnesshabitat ,, @chrispychans ,, @therealhyunjingf ,, @hyunverse ,, @lino-jagiyaa ,, @ameliesaysshoo ,, @svngiem ,, @foxinnie8 ,, @ohish ,, @alyszaen ,, @dreamingsmile ,, @skzfelixlove ,, @stealanity ,, @minluvly ,, @flirtyskzbutterfly ,, @iadorethemskz