#it's platonic your honor

[propussyslayer]

harry: tell me about my parents, professor. did you and my father get along?

remus:

remus, who shared his first kiss with james while high: well we weren't that close but

[eldritch-ace]

POV: The last jedi (and jedi adjacent) keep picking up stray "enemies"

Bonus Ezra lmao

Kofi | Commissions

[evyltalks]

group therapy

[drizzledrawings]

Holds them

[flippinpancakesagain]

A small follow up comic to this one

It's not that Donnie doesn't say he loves his brothers. It's just so rare that Mikey gets a little too excited

[libraryofgage]

Been having Secretly Smart Steve thoughts except it's less that his intellect is a secret and more that nobody ever noticed lmao

The initial thought for this is based on my mom's stories about acting like a ditzy airhead in high school but then graduating with honors

Within five minutes of walking into high school Steve definitely clocked that being cool was more important than being smart right? So he didn't really let on that he was good at class stuff and just let people think he was a simple jock

And Steve graduating isn't a huge thing cuz it happens during UD stuff which means they all miss graduation ceremony and just get their degrees later, so it's not like anyone saw the honors tassels that steve was given to wear with his grad gown

And the first real hint is Lucas trying to make a basket and getting frustrated. And Steve is like "here I'll show you" and proceeds to make every throw he makes from anywhere on the court and when Lucas asks how the fuck he does that Steve shrugs and is like "well, i mean, its all angles man"

Later Mike and Will are working on an egg drop project (you know the ones) and getting worked up cuz the eggs keep cracking. Steve has been watching TV or something the whole time and outta nowhere is like "yall are missing shock absorption and proper wind resistance, duh"

Nancy is trying to decode some number based cipher for fun but it's becoming rapidly Not Fun and Steve looks over her shoulder for like two seconds and goes "group the numbers into twos, subtract 18 from each, and then it's the alphabet letter based on the number" and then just walks off

Dustin is taking an engineering class and is having trouble building a bridge cuz it keeps collapsing when he sends a hot wheels car over it. Steve tells him he needs more load-bearing beams and to distribute the weight evenly and Dustin is surprised when it works

And, of course, Eddie sees all of this so one day when Max or Erica ask for help with some geometry homework he takes the worksheet they give him and immediately passes it along to Steve, waves off their disbelief, and sits all smug while Steve explains concepts they'd been missing entirely

[force-dyad]

[housmania]

obsessed with aldo bellini. he wants to reform the church but won’t carry his own luggage. he organizes secret stairwell conspiracies. he wants women in the curia (he’s never spoken to a woman in his life). he’s worsties with the cuntiest evil vape user of all time. he won’t say he wants to be pope but he has his name picked out. he’s a nervous wreck. he’s practical and clever. he’s too practical and too clever. he has the best ideas for what he’d do as pope but he’d be a terrible pope. he wants progress but he’s horribly flawed. he was even bald

[yelenascult]

Depressed lonely man who had a difficult sad life accidentally bonds with a blonde traumatized woman and gets obsessed with her safety to the point he'd burn the world for her, creating the best marvel dynamic bc also accidentally the actors had too much chemistry

[mourningsstars]

And then they fell in love and lived happily ever after and nothing bad happened to them ever

[lurkinginnernarrator]

Shen Qingqiu may not have done much in his first life, but he did learn, and observe. His older brothers were deeply entrenched in the corporate world, and he had watched them chase success and conquer hurdles.

He had also watched them burnout. He had watched as the fatigue began to linger around their eyes, as their proud shoulders began to bow. He knew how hard it was to recover from chronic fatigue.

Once, his unshakeable Da-ge had broken down in tears, unable to continue.

Shen Qingqiu wasn't heartless.

He didn't want to see someone else he cared about loved go through that. Once was worse enough.

So when he watched fatigue weigh down Shang Qinghua's immortal cultivator's strength, when burnout caused the quick man to crumple, and when instead of crocodile wailing there were dry eyes and wooden smiles, and quietly reserved replies?

Shen Qingqiu would call Shang Qinghua over to the peaceful groves of Qing Jing, to the secluded bamboo house. Often under the guise of discussing their 'gardening' project, Shang Qinghua and Shen Yuan would lounge, snacks and tea abundant, and Shang Qinghua would take to the afternoons like an under-watered plant to rain.

And if Shen Qingqiu purposefully made big huffs about unimportant things so that Shang Qinghua would come over? He was the only one who would know. And Shang Qinghua's work somehow never made it past Shen Yuan's threshold.

And if Shen Qingqiu 'arbitrarily' decided to demand Shang Qinghua allow him to braid his hair, so he didn't 'forget how to', and maybe that Shang Qinghua fell asleep with gentle hands in his hair? And if the An Ding Peak Lord woke with warm arms around him?

It was important only to them, and no one else needed to know.

No one understood how the An Ding Peak Lord kept up his breakneck pace all those years. Many great men had tried before him, and there were even protocols in place on An Ding for the Peak Lord's eventual burnout. Somehow, Shang Qinghua never succumbed.

Shen Qingqiu thought the proof spoke for itself. Melon seeds had a dedicated place in the Bamboo House's pantry. One not even Luo Binghe disturbed.

And years later, when Shen Qingqiu is juggling his duties as Peak Lord and Emperor-Consort, perhaps Shang Qinghua drags him away, needing him 'urgently' for important matters, and taking him someplace where work nor worries could find them.

[vicprobably]

i love that scott's latest valentines escape room video is three couples (lizzie and joel, aimsey and guqqie, & oli and eloise), a duo who've played a couple (naturewives), and... imp and skizz

[deikshen]

The Omega Shen Yuan who reached his 35s single and without future views of a couple, accepting that promise he made with his (not) best friend Shang Qinghua that if they reach 35 years old single, and are still friends, they will have a baby together.

Shang Qinghua is an Alpha, and okay, he's not too good a match for Shen Yuan, but from the years he's known him, he thinks he can be a good father. And although they could spend money on assisted fertilization, it's a tedious process so, err, they do it traditionally.

They wait for Shen Yuan to come into heat, Shen Yuan goes off his birth control weeks in advance, things happen. The less said about it the better. It's for the greater good or something. Shen Yuan only hopes that one heat will be enough, because genuinely repeating it is not in his most enthusiastic plans (although he appreciates the company and comfort of his best friend).

And about two weeks later, Shen Yuan meets Luo Binghe.

Luo Binghe is absolutely great, of course. He works in a small restaurant and his dishes are delicious. Shen Yuan and he become fast friends; Shen Yuan has a delicate palate, Luo Binghe's cooking is exquisite, and his company is pleasant. He's funny in a dark sort of way, strong, beautiful as a young model, with a strange amount of hobbies like martial arts, collecting jewelry that he doesn't wear... Luo Binghe is wealthy but doesn't spend on nonsense, which makes Shen Yuan theorizes that he was not always someone well-positioned in society. He finds himself going to his restaurant almost every day even though he could order delivery just for Luo Binghe's company.

And Luo Binghe starts flirting with him.

It's... At first, it's strange. Shen Yuan doesn't want to believe it. Shang Qinghua URGES him to open his eyes because FUCK THAT PRETTY BOY IS FLIRTING WITH YOU. Shen Yuan tries to flirt awkwardly, according to himself it doesn't go well, but Luo Binghe seems to fall quickly. They go on a date that ends with a sweet first kiss.

So, they're on their third date going to a movie theater, when Shen Yuan smells popcorn and nausea hits him so suddenly that he barely makes it to the bathroom.

As he finishes disposing of his lunch in the wc, with teary eyes and Luo Binghe rubbing his back, he suddenly thinks: it's been almost two months already. Oh fuck.

The date is cancelled, Luo Binghe accompanies him to his apartment and they say goodbye. Luo Binghe promises to come back as soon as Shen Yuan calls him, giving him privacy with a worried expression. Shen Yuan just stammers having eaten something bad and lets Luo Binghe leave with his heart in his mouth.

He then calls Shang Qinghua at least thirty times and places orders at a pharmacy for five different pregnancy tests. The tests arrive before Shang Qinghua. When Shang Qinghua arrives, upset and worried but with a fresh scent of an omega that Shen Yuan does not know, all five tests come positive.

... They have no idea what they're going to do with it.

Two months ago, they literally... weren't dating. They had nothing but an agreement to start a family if the opportunity came. So as not to lose the experience for the sake of time. Because they both wanted. Now, Shen Yuan thinks he might really be falling in love with Luo Binghe... And Shang Qinghua literally just dumped an omega in his bed!! What the hell are they going to do now!?

Shen Yuan wants that baby. No matter what, he wants this family. So, they decide: they will go on a double date with their current partners, and explain the situation to them. They can agree whether to leave or stay.

... Shen Yuan doesn't expect Luo Binghe and Mobei Jun to meet each other. He also doesn't expect the omega Mobei Jun to be the tallest man he's ever seen. He doesn't expect them both to look a little upset, but to decide to support their partners in that. The road to fatherhood. God, they must be so screwed.

They make a good deal: for the baby's first years they will practically share a house, Shen Yuan can afford to rent or buy something bigger. So, the baby will grow up with his parents together to help and educate them. From the third, fourth year, they will be able to move and will share equal custody, and both of them will be able to see the baby at any time, it's not like they were divorced with a legal agreement or something. Not a bad plan.

Shen Yuan wants to consider himself mature about this. He's going to be a father, he's having a baby, he has to take control of the matter.

Now, he has no idea how he is going to position Luo Binghe (and Mobei Jun) in his life, because it seems that Luo Binghe is planning to stay so much that he is already planning the decoration of the baby's room... with Mobei Jun who insists that the color blue is unisex if you don't give a fuck.

Ah. Well, he has a pack, of sorts. His baby, him, his boyfriend, his baby's father, his baby's father's boyfriend. All families come in different shapes and sizes, don't they?

[flippinpancakesagain]

Mikey's the only one that can get away with this and live

[incandescent-irrigation]

hey. hey man you cant do this to me

[sanders-sides-uncorrect-quotes]

this is them to me