#its only increased from yesterday...

[zoieru]

zoie is having in depth boothill thoughts

[andreeds]

i think its soo funny how when you’re an adult every time you think 'hey this month ill actually be able to save up some money' you will experience an Unexpected Expense

[infiniteglitterfall]

know someone who enjoys horror stories? share this one! it's true!

hahahahahahahahahaha aarrggghhhhhhhhhh 3,000,000 deaths due to COVID-19 last year. Globally. Three million. Case rates higher than 90% of the rest of the pandemic. The reason people are still worried about COVID is because it has a way of quietly fucking up your body. And the risk is cumulative.

I'm going to say that again: the risk is cumulative.

It's not just that a lot of people get bad long-term effects from it. One in seven or so? Enough that it's kind of the Russian Roulette of diseases. It's also that the more times you get it, the higher that risk becomes. Like if each time you survived Russian Roulette, the empty chamber was removed from the gun entirely. The worst part is that, psychologically, we have the absolute opposite reaction. If we survive something with no ill effects, we assume it's pretty safe. It is really, really hard to override that sense of, "Ok, well, I got it and now I probably have a lot of immunity and also it wasn't that bad." It is not a respiratory disease. Airborne, yes. Respiratory disease, no: not a cold, not a flu, not RSV.

Like measles (or maybe chickenpox?), it starts with respiratory symptoms. And then it moves to other parts of your body. It seems to target the lungs, the digestive system, the heart, and the brain the most.

It also hits the immune system really hard - a lot of people are suddenly more susceptible to completely unrelated viruses. People get brain fog, migraines, forget things they used to know.

(I really, really hate that it can cross the blood-brain barrier. NOTHING SHOULD EVER CROSS THE BLOOD-BRAIN BARRIER IT IS THERE FOR A REASON.) Anecdotal examples of this shit are horrifying. I've seen people talk about coworkers who've had COVID five or more times, and now their work... just often doesn't make sense? They send emails that say things like, "Sorry, I didn't mean Los Angeles, I meant Los Angeles."

Or they insist they've never heard of some project that they were actually in charge of a year or two before.

Or their work is just kind of falling apart, and they don't seem to be aware of it.

People talk about how they don't want to get the person in trouble, so their team just works around it. Or they describe neighbors and relatives who had COVID repeatedly, were nearly hospitalized, talked about how incredibly sick they felt at the time... and now swear they've only had it once and it wasn't bad, they barely even noticed it.

(As someone who lived with severe dissociation for most of my life, this is a genuinely terrifying idea to me. I've already spent my whole life being like, "but what if I told them that already? but what if I did do that? what if that did happen to me and I just don't remember?") One of its known effects in the brain is to increase impulsivity and risk-taking, which is real fucking convenient honestly. What a fantastic fucking mutation. So happy for it on that one. Yes, please make it seem less important to wear a mask and get vaccinated. I'm not screaming internally at all now.

I saw a tweet from someone last year whose family hadn't had COVID yet, who were still masking in public, including school.

She said that her son was no kind of an athlete. Solidly bottom middle of the pack in gym.

And suddenly, this year, he was absolutely blowing past all the other kids who had to run the mile. He wasn't running any faster. His times weren't fantastic or anything. It's just that the rest of the kids were worse than him now. For some reason. I think about that a lot. (Like my incredibly active six-year-old getting a cold, and suddenly developing post-viral asthma that looked like pneumonia.

He went back to school the day before yesterday, after being home for a month and using preventative inhalers for almost week.

He told me that it was GREAT - except that he couldn't run as much at recess, because he immediately got really tired. Like how I went outside with him to do some yard work and felt like my body couldn't figure out how to increase breathing and heart rate.

I wasn't physically out of breath, but I felt like I was out of breath. That COVID feeling people describe, of "I'm not getting enough air." Except that I didn't have that problem when I had COVID.) Some people don't observe any long (or medium) term side effects after they have it.

But researchers have found viral reservoirs of COVID-19 in everyone they've studied who had it.

It just seems to hang out, dormant, for... well, longer than we've had an opportunity to observe it, so far.

(I definitely watched that literal horror movie. I think that's an entire genre. The alien dormant under ice in the Arctic.)

(oh hey I don't like that either!!!!!!!!!) All of which is to explain why we should still care about avoiding it, and how it manages to still cause excess deaths. Measuring excess deaths has been a standard tool in public health for a long time.

We know how many people usually die from all different causes, every year. So we can tell if, for example, deaths from heart disease have gone way up in the past three years, and look for reasons. Those are excess deaths: deaths that, four years ago, would not have happened. During the pandemic, excess death rates have been a really important tool. For all sorts of reasons. Like, sometimes people die from COVID without ever getting tested, and the official cause is listed as something else because nobody knows they had COVID. But also, people are dying from cardiovascular illness much younger now.

People are having strokes and heart attacks younger, and more often, than they did before the pandemic started. COVID causes a lot of problems. And some of those problems kill people. And some of them make it easier for other things to kill us. Lung damage from COVID leading to lungs collapsing, or to pneumonia, or to a pulmonary embolism, for example. The Economist built a machine-learning model with a 95% confidence interval that gauges excess death statistics around the world, to tell them what the true toll of the ongoing COVID pandemic has been so far.

Total excess deaths globally in 2023: Three million.

3,000,000.

Official COVID-19 deaths globally so far: Seven million. 7,000,000. Total excess deaths during COVID so far: Thirty-five point two million. 35,200,000.

Five times as many.

That's bad. I don't like that at all. I'm glad last year was less than a tenth of that. I'm not particularly confident about that continuing, though, because last year we started a period of really high COVID transmission. Case rates higher than 90% of the rest of the pandemic. Here's their data, and charts you can play with, and links to detailed information on how they did all of this:

Here's a non-paywalled link to it:

https://archive.vn/2024.01.26-012536/https://www.economist.com/graphic-detail/coronavirus-excess-deaths-estimates

Oh: here's a link to where you can buy comfy, effective N95 masks in all sizes:

Those ones are about a buck each after shipping - about $30 for a box of 30. They also have sample packs for a dollar, so you can try a couple of different sizes and styles.

You can wear an N95 mask for about 40 total hours before the effectiveness really drops, so that's like a dollar for a week of wear.

They're also family-owned and have cat-shaped masks and I really love them. These ones are cuter and in a much wider range of colors, prints, and styles, but they're also more expensive; they range from $1.80 to $3 for a mask. ($18-$30 for a box of ten.)

[alternate-real-ities]

Research Report: Subject J - Asian Flu

Prepared by: Dr. Amara Patel & Dr. Liam Chen

These diary entries, obtained through confidential sources, detail the personal experiences and transformations of a young man identified only as "Jake" who has been unknowingly infected with the recently emerged Asian Flu (AF). His accounts provide invaluable firsthand insights into the virus's effects on its host, spanning from early symptoms to advanced stages. Thus, with these entries, we aim to better understand the virus's effects and timeline.

Diary Entries:

Dear diary,

I woke up feeling a bit off today, but nothing major. Probably just another case of the common cold going around. I didn't let it stop me from starting my day as usual - working on my laptop at home while sipping coffee. My muscles were kinda sore too, but I thought it was just from my workout yesterday.

I did notice something strange though - when I caught my reflection in the mirror, my pecs looked a bit bigger than usual. Probably just my imagination, right? They're not exactly massive to begin with on my scrawny frame. But hey, maybe I'm finally making some progress at the gym!

Anyway, enough about me and my silly feelings. I'm going to bed early tonight. hopefully I'll feel more like myself tomorrow.

Dear diary,

Woke up today feeling even better than yesterday! I breezed through my work and couldn't wait to get back to the gym. When I stepped into the locker room, a few guys checked me out appreciatively. Normally that would make me blush, but now it just gave me this weird rush of confidence.

At first, I thought the gym machines felt a bit too easy today. Like my body was used to working at higher intensities than I realized. And why were my pecs tingling so much? Probably just a funny nerve thing, no biggie.

When I got home, I caught another glimpse of myself in the mirror and… holy shit… are my muscles bigger? Like, way bigger than they should be after one intense workout. Also, I didn't look as pale as I usually do?

This can't be real - something's going on, I just don't know what it is… Hopefully, I'll have more time to think about it tomorrow.

Dear diary,

Okay, so something is seriously wrong with me but I can't put my finger on it.

I can't stop sweating, even when I'm just sitting around doing nothing! My clothes are always soaked and I stink like a damn animal in heat... And don't even get me started on my fucking pecs - they're so sensitive right now. Like every brush of fabric against them sends a jolt straight to my dick.

I called in sick to work today, couldn't handle trying to make sense of all those spreadsheets and emails. It's like everyone's talking in a foreign language now, I just don't get it no more. I keep telling myself this is all stress-related but deep down, I know something ain't right.

At the gym today, I kept having to increase the weights because anything less felt like a joke now. There were these two Asian guys there who kept glancing over at me admiringly between sets. Normally I'd be flattered but nervous about such obvious stares. Instead, I found myself flexing subtly in their direction, feeling this bizarre urge to show off my body.

And to top it all off, I've been having these crazy horny urges nonstop. Like, I'm constantly rock hard and leaking pre-cum like a fucking faucet. It's embarrassing as hell. I ended up jerking off about three times today already but it did nothing to satisfy this insatiable hunger in my balls.

I'm scared… I don't know what's happening to me. Maybe this is all just a bad dream and I'll wake up soon. Please.

Dear diary,

Fuck… what's happening to me? I'm struggling to type this entry because my fingers feel too thick and clumsy on the keyboard.

I went back to the gym again today because I couldn't stay away, even though part of me knew something was seriously off. The Asian guys from yesterday were there again and this time… fuck… I walked up to them and started chatting like it was the most natural thing in the world. Talking about protein shakes, the best ways to sculpt chest muscles, shit I wouldn't have given a second thought to before.

They kept touching my arms admiringly as we talked, marveling at how fast I must be growing. And I fucking liked it. Craved more of their attention and praise. We ended up in the locker room together…

I'm not proud of what happened next but I couldn't control myself. I was too drunk on this new sense of power and desire coursing through my body. The next thing I knew, we were all naked, touching each other, moaning like animals…

I can't think straight anymore either. It's like all the smart stuff is leaking outta my head and being replaced with nothing bro.

And the smells… everything smells so much stronger now. My own stink, sweat and musk, it's so intense!

I'm losing control here diary… I feel like I'm turning into one of those dumb gym bro stereotypes and it scares the everloving shit outta me. I almost can't recognize myself in the mirror anymore.

Tomorrow, I'll go see my doctor to finally understand what's going on.

Yo diary, it's your boy Jake and lemme tell ya, today was fuckin' EPIC dude! Like, the most awesomest day ever since this crazy shit started happening to me.

Woke up feelin' like a million bucks, muscles all twitchy and ready to dominate. I hit the gym real quick, just a lil warm-up ya know? And oh man, did I catch some looks! All those bros were starin' at my gains, probably wishin' they had a physique like mine hehe.

After that, I decided to take my rock hard bod for a walk in the park. Felt good to let the sunshine warm up my bronzed skin and show off these sick pecs. I was strutting real confident-like, just basking in all the attention from thirsty bitches and dudes.

Then, get this diary… I bumped into this super cute lil twink at the park! He was practically drooling when he saw my massive package tentin' in my shorts. I couldn't resist, had to show him what a real man feels like down there haha.

We found a lil spot behind some bushes and I bent that boy over and gave it to him HARD, diary. Pounded his tight boyclit so good he was screaming for more. Fucked him so deep he'll be tasting my cock for days! Blew the biggest load right up in his guts too, hah!

I'm gonna hit the gym again later for some more gains, maybe see if I can find another thirsty boycunt to bust in after. Life is fuckin' great diary!

Analysis:

Based on Jake's diary entries, we can confirm the progression of AF symptoms aligns with our current understanding: rapid muscle growth, cognitive decline, personality changes, and increased sexual aggression. His accounts also highlight the virus's insidious nature, as he remains largely unaware and unconcerned about his transformations.

To better understand the virus's transmission dynamics and long-term effects on secondary hosts, it is imperative that we identify and locate the twink (hereafter referred to as "Subject TW") with whom Jake engaged in sexual activities at the park. There is a high probability that Subject TW has been infected with the Asian Flu through this encounter.

Locating and monitoring this new potential subject could provide crucial insights into the virus's sexual transmission rates, incubation periods for secondary infections, and further manifestation of symptoms in diverse hosts.

This final surveillance footage from a concealed camera in a nearby gym captures Subject J (center frame) engaging with his newly acquired "bros". This clip represents the most current documentation of Jake's behaviours and physical state, obtained while maintaining strict contamination avoidance protocols. The timestamp indicates this recording is approximately three weeks after his initial diary entries.

Caution: Viewers are strongly advised not to approach or engage with Subject J or his associates without proper protective measures in place, as their sweat and other bodily fluids pose significant infection risks.

Please direct any inquiries or resources needed to pursue this lead to Dr. Patel or Dr. Chen.

[End Report]

[sethsclearwater]

How would the pack react to finding their imprint asleep either at one of the other imprints house or somewhere and someone is being really loud and they don't want their imprint to wake up because they know they have trouble sleeping at night

love this! i did a similar one for paul a while back and you can find that one linked here but i thought it would be fun to do one for seth too so here you go!

seth's touch was featherlight as he traced his fingers up and down your side, watching as you got some much needed sleep. for the first time in nearly a week, you looked at peace as you slept curled up under the covers of the plaid sheets of his old bedroom. despite the fact that the two of you had moved into your own place on the res, you still regularly found yourself at sue's house throughout the week.

"seth!" he'd heard jared calling his name from outside before jared even entered the house, seth's hearing and jared's unusually loud voice making it easy to hear him. though, this knowledge never made jared any quieter, and seth was starting to believe he made himself louder just to spite everyone.

he leaned down to press his lips to your temple before he slid his hand out from under your shirt, smiling to himself when you whined and rolled over, clearly already missing his touch, "i'll be right back," his voice was a whisper as he reassured before he was getting up to go figure out what jared wanted.

"seth!" jared's voice was somehow louder this time as seth quickly and quietly closed the bedroom door behind him as he headed downstairs to the front door where jared was quite impatiently waiting for him.

"i'm coming," he rolled his eyes, his voice a normal level as he was apparently one of the only members of the pack to have figured out that they didn't need to yell for them to hear each other.

he pulled the door open to reveal jared cameron who couldn't have looked less bothered by seth's annoyance, "paul said you made some banana bread yesterday," he explained, his usual goofy smile on his face.

seth, an individual who was generally considered to be one of the most patient members of the pack, just rolled his eyes again, "this couldn't have been a text?" he asked, a quiet laugh leaving his lips as he turned around to go get some of the said banana bread. before he could get to the kitchen though, he turned back around, "wait outside - you nearly woke y/n up yelling like that," his voice was a bit more stern, waiting until jared nodded and saluted him like an idiot before seth was heading back into the kitchen.

"yes sir!" despite the warning less than 3 seconds prior, jared managed to forget to lower his voice, something he quickly realized when seth sucked in a deep breath, making haste of packaging up some banana bread for him so he could get him out of these as quickly as possible, "sorry sir!" jared quickly apologized, the sarcasm still managing to drip through his voice despite the now lowered volume.

seth did his best to fight his smile, too used to jared's antics to get mad at him for them at this point, "just take the bread and go please," a quiet, breathy laugh left his lips as he handed jared the wrapped bread.

both boys exchanged smiles, "i didn't totally wake her up, did i?" jared asked, significantly lowering his voice as he asked about you, clearly understanding and sharing seth's concern for your recent lack of sleep.

"didn't totally wake her up," seth reassured and jared's smile widened, clearly happy his regularly scheduled boisterous activities didn't completely ruin your sleep.

"that's brilliant - thanks for the bread!" his volume increased again, though not to its original level, just enough that it had seth rolling his eyes with a laugh and shutting the door.

"anytime cameron," he reassured quietly before he was heading back upstairs to the bedroom to check on you.

much to his delight, he found you still sound asleep on the bed. he padded over to you, pulling back the covers just enough to get under them with you and pull you close to his chest, "promised i'd be right back," he whispered, pressing his lips to your hair before settling into the bed.

[luvvyouforever]

snowed in with joel ⋆⁺₊❅.

content: fluff, sweetness, no other warnings apply, bf joel, short not very beautiful writing. author's note: this is so self indulgent it hurts. i'm stuck in the snow storm rn and my power's been out since yesterday at 6pm and it won't come on till tomorrow and now that i have internet at my family's house, i'm writing this for self comfort. enjoy!

the power to joel's home shut off with a loud click followed by two groans echoing throughout the now quiet living room.

"damn," joel exhaled, pulling himself from the warm spot next to you on the couch. "i thought we'd get lucky this time."

"i did too," you responded, moving to get up from the couch.

joel immediately turned around, hands outstretched to your rising figure. "nuh uh," he grunted. "you stay in here and get the fire going. i'll go fix the pipes up, close off the doors, and bring the mattress in here. both of us don't need to be cold."

"joel, let me help. it's pouring out there," you insisted, still not allowing his strength to push you back on the couch.

it took him one swift movement to push you back down on the plush couch, causing you to bounce upwards. with an almost imperceptible groan, he bent over and placed a warm kiss to the top of your head. "stay inside, doll. i'll be back soon."

with that, he left the cozy living room to head back towards the mud room where his snow boots had only just finished melting from his last foray out to retrieve firewood. he slipped the boots back on, put on his warm coat, and stepped out the door.

you got up from the couch sooner than later, intent on getting the fire started back up to keep the home warm. joel's house in jackson was nice, but it could get drafty quick with the two floors and multiple large windows. you pulled large matches from beside the fireplace, lit up some dry pieces of paper, and set those at the bottom. slowly, you added pieces of wood on top which the fire caught on to quickly. with a few pokes and shoves, the fire was blazing in the stone and instantly, the house felt cozier.

by that point, joel still hadn't returned from keeping the pipes from bursting outside and you felt useless sitting on the couch while he did so. with a sudden resolve, you moved into the guest bedroom to pull the mattress you used for cold nights out into the living room.

it was heavy, that much was true, but the years of surviving an apocalypse and trying to live self-sufficiently in the country had built up your strength enough that dragging the mattress out of its frame, through the hall, and into the living room only built up a little sweat around your brow.

by the time you had positioned the bed between the couches, joel returned to the mud room and shrugged off his coat and boots.

"i thought i'd told you just to light the fire, little lady," joel teased, walking into the living room.

"one less task for you to do, my handy man," you said with a smile. he came over, borderline shivering, and placed his hands in front of the fireplace.

"ellie's set out back with that old kerosene heater. it'll keep that garage warm and then some. pipes are covered so they shouldn't burst any time soon."

"good, i'm glad. you get warm in front of the fire and i'll drag our blankets and quilts down here."

you didn't give him any time to protest as you placed a kiss to his damp shoulder and jogged upstairs to the main bedroom. you started with the blankets on joel's bed, added the thick quilt kept in the closet, and grabbed the pillows too. before you had moved in, joel kept the bare minimum. now, there were more pillows on the bed than you could count and his blanket collection had increased tenfold. you're just supporting local small businesses is all.

with a grunt, you managed to pick up everything from the floor and carry it down the steps. joel had risen from his spot in front of the fireplace and took to covering the outside doors with thick sheets to block some of the wind from the near blizzard happening outside.

"think you got enough, hon?" he teased, taking a break from his nailing.

"can never be too cozy," you said with a shrug. "we'll probably only need the one blanket since you already put off enough body heat to warm a small elephant."

"and that's a bad thing?"

you thought about it for a second. "when it's 95 degrees out and you insist on keeping me wrapped around you, yes."

he chuckled deeply and placed his hammer down to head back towards where you were making up the bed. he took one side of the sheet you were currently fighting with and helped you place it over the end of the bed. "can't help that you're 'bout the size of a teddy bear. i'm asleep. i dunno the difference."

"ya know, now that i'm thinking about it, the garage with ellie sounds pretty nice right about now."

"yeah, right," he said with a laugh. for the next fifteen minutes or so, you worked in comfortable silence, setting up the living room as your main room till he and the others in town can get out to work on the power supply. you fished candles out of the cabinet, he found a battery operated radio with a cd and cassette insert, and you found a few lanterns that would offer some light around the dark house.

eventually, everything was set up and now there was nothing to do but enjoy the quiet peace of the night. joel managed to dig up some cds and cassettes with the player and he had an old country tune quietly playing over the crackling of the fire.

"c'mere, doll," he finally said, offering his arm out to cuddle up with you on the bed. you gratefully took it, eager to finally lay down. joel took the left side (he always did) and you took the right. his back was propped against the couch and you easily curled into his side. his arm wrapped around your frame and within seconds, the cold dissipated from your body.

his lips met your head in a sweet gesture and you smiled at the warm comfort of it all. joel was all you needed, really. the power being out was a frustration, true. you had wanted to bake some cookies that night and you wanted to read another cheesy romance book that joel had found for you in an old store. joel wanted to keep tinkering with the old record player tommy found and he liked to end his nights with a warm shower before crawling into his bed with you.

but this was fine. more than fine. you were warm in front of the fire, his favorite music was echoing through the room, and he had you under his arms, where he liked you to be the most.

[reasonsforhope]

Double dose of articles about how crime is actually plummeting

From the UK:

"Seventy-eight per cent of people in England and Wales think that crime has gone up in the last few years, according to the latest survey. But the data on actual crime shows the exact opposite.

As of 2024, violence, burglary and car crime have been declining for 30 years and by close to 90%, according to the Crime Survey for England and Wales (CSEW) – our best indicator of true crime levels. Unlike police data, the CSEW is not subject to variations in reporting and recording.

The drop in violence includes domestic violence and other violence against women. Anti-social behaviour has similarly declined. While increased fraud and computer misuse now make up half of crime, this mainly reflects how far the rates of other crimes have fallen.

All high-income countries have experienced similar trends, and there is scientific consensus that the decline in crime is a real phenomenon.

The perception gap

So why is there such a gulf between public perception and the reality of crime trends? A regular YouGov poll asks respondents for their top three concerns from a broad set of issues. Concern about crime went from a low in 2016 (when people were more concerned with Brexit), quadrupled by 2019 and plummeted during the pandemic when people had other worries. But in the last year, the public’s concern about crime has risen again.

There are many possible explanations for this, of which the first is poor information. A study published in 1998 found that “people who watch a lot of television or who read a lot of newspapers will be exposed to a steady diet of crime stories” that does not reflect official statistics.

The old news media adage “if it bleeds, it leads” reflects how violent news stories, including crime increases and serious crimes, capture public attention. Knife crime grabs headlines in the UK, but our shock at individual incidents is testament to their rarity and our relative success in controlling violence – many gun crimes do not make the news in the US.

Most recent terrorist attacks in the UK have featured knives (plus a thwarted Liverpool bomber), but there is little discussion of how this indicates that measures to restrict guns and bomb-making resources are effective."

-via The Conversation, May 13, 2024

And the United States:

"[The United States experienced a spike in crime rates in 2020, during the pandemic.] But in 2023, crime in America looked very different.

"At some point in 2022 — at the end of 2022 or through 2023 — there was just a tipping point where violence started to fall and it just continued to fall," said Jeff Asher, a crime analyst and co-founder of AH Datalytics.

In cities big and small, from both coasts, violence has dropped.

"The national picture shows that murder is falling. We have data from over 200 cities showing a 12.2% decline ... in 2023 relative to 2022," Asher said, citing his own analysis of public data. He found instances of rape, robbery and aggravated assault were all down too.

Yet when you ask people about crime in the country, the perception is it's getting a lot worse.

A Gallup poll released in November found 77% of Americans believed there was more crime in the country than the year before. And 63% felt there was either a "very" or "extremely" serious crime problem — the highest in the poll's history going back to 2000.

So what's going on?

What the cities are seeing

What you see depends a lot on what you're looking at, according to Asher.

"There's never been a news story that said, 'There were no robberies yesterday, nobody really shoplifted at Walgreens,'" he said.

"Especially with murder, there's no doubt that it is falling at [a] really fast pace right now. And the only way that I find to discuss it with people is to talk about what the data says." ...

For cities like San Francisco, Baltimore and Minneapolis, there may be different factors at play [in crime declining]. And in some instances, it comes as the number of police officers declines too.

Baltimore police are chronically short of their recruitment goal, and as of last September had more than 750 vacant positions, according to a state audit report...

In Minneapolis, police staffing has plummeted. According to the Star Tribune, there are about 560 active officers — down from nearly 900 in 2019. Mannix said the 2020 police killing of George Floyd resulted in an unprecedented exodus from the department...

In Minneapolis, the city is putting more financial resources into nontraditional policing initiatives. The Department of Neighborhood Safety, which addresses violence through a public health lens, received $22 million in the 2024 budget."

-via NPR, February 12, 2024

[storiesofsvu]

Secrets Among Siblings

Olivia Benson x fem!reader Warnings: language, fluff, smut, teasing, sexting, secret dating, caught in the act. 5 times Elliot wished he knew who his sister was dating + 1 time he really wished he didn't know. 6.1k. I'm so not sorry? Lol. This was requested AGES ago and once I finally figured out *how* to do it, it all came flying out in one afternoon. Hope you enjoy! <3

Living with your brother had its downsides, you were well aware of that. Especially when your brother happened to be the older one, the very much overprotective one who wasn’t afraid to use his authority as a member of NYPD to keep you safe. He meant well, but it was more than a little annoying now that you were a fully grown adult with a big girl job you’d worked hard to achieve and move up the ranks to the point where you could afford your own, nice apartment in Manhattan. You would have understood it if you were freshly twenty one, or fighting your way through college, but you were the same age he was when he got married, then again, that’s how you had ended up in this living situation in the first place. A string of disagreements, a trial separation, Elliot needing a place to stay and your empty guest room being halfway between his precinct and family home. 

There were some great benefits, Elliot was used to routine, no snoozing the alarm in the morning meant the coffee was brewed and there was breakfast on the table by the time you got up, or you had a morning workout partner for once. You didn’t have to plan every single bite of food that you were going to consume; groceries would just appear in the fridge, you’d swap off the cooking, dishes and cleaning. It was nice to have someone else around to help share the load for once, you’d nearly forgotten what that was like. You enjoyed your sibling dinners, especially on Friday evenings, getting to wind down from the week, hearing the wild stories of his hours spent with NYPD while you could vent your heart out about your terribly annoying coworkers. 

Elliot had come to rely on them, a nice distraction from the work week and any lingering family tension, it was his debrief of the week before shifting into Dad mode over the weekend that he spent with the kids. Family time was important to him; it always had been which is why he was a little bit bummed when the text came into his phone halfway through a Friday afternoon.

‘Gonna miss dinner tonight, sorry. How about I treat you and the kids to pizza and a movie Sunday?’

He countered that while you may have had other obligations, you hadn’t mentioned what they were, they were likely work, maybe a friend’s birthday, and most importantly you’d offered up extra family time to make up for it. Getting to spend time with your nephew and nieces was just as good. 

Between the camouflaged cover ups and his extra long hours at the precinct, he didn’t notice how the hours the apartment was empty seemed to be increasing. You had mentioned a big project at work, a busy time of year for tutoring on your side gig, it made total sense when he was the second to wake up in the morning or the first one home. Apparently the days of business lunches were over, he assumed fancier business dinners were the norm now, catching glimpses of you dressed up leaving the apartment in the early evening or slipping back in after the lights were all out. 

The first time he thought anything of it was when he got up to an empty apartment on a Saturday morning, early enough the sun was just starting to stream through the curtains. The sounds of birds chirping and garbage trucks in the alley accompanied his morning shower and mental preparation for the day. It was only on his way out to the kitchen that he noticed your bedroom door wide open, bed still made from yesterday, half empty coffee mug on your makeup table where you regularly drank it while getting ready. A few pieces of make up were still scattered across the table, your curling iron out yet unplugged, a couple pairs of high heels beside it as if you were trying to decide what matched your outfit. It wasn’t like he was snooping; he couldn’t help but scope out the scene a little bit, eyes darting around your room to try and get any clue if you had been home between Friday morning and now.

He shrugged it off; you must’ve just taken off already for brunch or something and not bothered to tidy up, it was the weekend after all. His stomach grumbled and he went on his way, meandering into the kitchen to start the coffee pot. After a summary of what was in the fridge, he pulled out eggs, cheese, turkey sausage and the loaf of bread from the counter. Sausage and eggs were sizzling away in the frying pan when his ears picked up another sound, his head swiveling around until he realized it was the deadbolt slowly creaking its way open from the front door. 

You crept around the door, bracing two gentle hands against it as you slowly and quietly shut it behind you, wincing when the deadbolt whined as you locked it. You were wearing a cute dress, heels dangling from your fingers, hair swept up into a topknot, your work bag and a small purse in the crook of your elbow. A gasp escaped your lips and you jumped, your hand flying to your chest when you turned around to find your brother watching you.

“Jesus fucking Christ.”

“Hey, language.” He scolded and you rolled your eyes.

“I didn’t realize you’d be up so early.” You ducked your gaze, gently placing the heels down on the shoe rack before slipping out of your coat.

“Are you…” his brow furrowed, a teasing grin on his face, “sneaking in?”

“No.” You scoffed, your nose crinkling. “I thought you were still asleep, I was trying to be nice and not wake you up.”

“You sure about that?” He asked, eyes glancing over your appearance again.

“Oh what’re doing? Trying to be Mom? I had a late meeting, met a friend for dinner right after. We hadn’t seen each other in a while; I ended up crashing there.”

“I didn’t realize people in their thirties ‘crashed’ at their friends.” He teased and you shot him a glare.

“They do when said friends have guest rooms, which I no longer do, thanks to someone.” You moved through the apartment, coming close enough to punch his shoulder, “otherwise I would have hosted.”

“Sorry to cramp your style. You must’ve been out late to be too tired to come home.”

“We’d been drinking.” You shrugged a shoulder, “didn’t think my big brother would be too happy to find out I’d been wandering the streets of Manhattan alone at three in the morning. Or worse, getting behind the wheel. I’d like to be spared from either of those lectures, thank you.”

“Fine, fine.” He held up the spatula in his hand in surrender, “you can text me next time you know? I’ll always come pick you up.”

“Thanks, but I had my car. No point in leaving it if I’d have to come back and get it in the morning, just makes more work.”

“Work smarter not harder.”

“Exactly.” You mock saluted him as you backed down the hallway, “enough coffee for me?”

“Yeah, food should be ready soon too.”

“Keep a plate for me? I’m gonna shower really quick.”

“Sure.” Elliot turned back to the stove and as soon as his eyes were off you, you darted into your room, attempting not to slam the door behind you.

Palms flat against the wood you lightly banged your forehead against it chastising yourself as your heart raced a mile a minute, pounding against your chest. You thought you had better time management that morning, an alarm set for an ungodly hour to actually tear yourself away from Olivia and have time to get home before Elliot was awake. Unfortunately, it appeared Olivia was both too distracting and convincing to get away from in a timely manner. You’d have to come up with a better excuse next time or face the fact that your brother would find out you were the one secretly dating his partner. 

**

You slipped into the apartment midday on a Sunday, a laugh echoing from your lips,

“I know. I had fun too.”

“You should have come back to my place.” Olivia replied, her voice dropping and you couldn’t help but feel your body already tingling.

“I can’t do Sundays, family dinner nights, remember?”

“Oh, I know.” She chuckled, “I was invited this time.”

“What did you RSVP?” You asked, your heart fluttering in your chest.

“That I had way too much laundry to get done before the work week.” She replied, “I figured it would be a little too difficult to keep my hands off you.”

“Oh, did you now?” The grin spread across your lips as you moved through the apartment, placing your bag and keys down on the breakfast bar, leaning against it. “And what exactly, prey tell would those hands be doing?”

“Well for starters I’d have to sneak you away to the bathroom, can’t risk anyone seeing or walking in.”

“Mhmm…” you started twirling a piece of hair around your finger. 

“Start out by holding your waist, grabbing your ass while I kiss you, gently pinning you to the door. Then things might get a little sneaky, start exploring under your dress, trying to see if you were a good girl who wore panties or not.”

“Christ Liv.” You stuttered out a laugh, your cheeks heating as she chuckled through the phone.

“Well, which would it be sweet girl?”

“I always want to be good for you.” You cooed into your phone, “I know how much you like that. But what if I wanted to play for once? Want to pretend I’m your naughty girl instead? Make you think I’ve got panties on but the surprise you’d find is that they’re crotchless and your fingers are—” your head shot up at the sound of the deadbolt creaking open and your entire body jolted upright, “yeah, thanks again for calling me back. I really wanted a chance to read over the preliminary before Monday.”

Olivia let out a huff of a laugh on the other end of the line, “I take it your house is no longer empty.”

“Correct.” You replied, “I’ll see you soon. Thanks.”

“Bye my sweet girl. Don’t forget what I was saying.”

“Definitely won’t.”

You hung up the phone, tossing it deep inside your purse, praying your cheeks weren’t as flushed as they felt as Elliot approached the counter.

“We gotta get some WD-40 on that thing.” He gestured toward the door, “who you talking to?”

“Crystal. From work.” You replied, instantly turning to the sink to pour yourself a glass of water.

“You’ve been on the phone a lot this weekend.”

“I’ve got a lot going on.” You shrugged as he eyed you for a minute.

“Okay… don’t let work stress you out, you need to actually enjoy your weekends.”

“Says you.” You shot back, grabbing your purse off the island before disappearing down the hallway.

*

Sitting on the kitchen counter you were tucked in the corner by the window, coffee mug beside you while you were distracted on your phone.

‘Thank you again, you really didn’t have to.’

‘Sweetheart please, you couldn’t stop staring at that necklace. Even from across the store you kept going back to it, what was I supposed to do, not buy it for you?’

‘It’s not even a special occasion.’

‘Everyday with you is a special occasion.’

It was hard to bite back the smile on your cheeks at that, so distracted with your girlfriend you didn’t even hear your brother come into the kitchen. 

Elliot took one look at you, the dopey smile on your face, the way your feet were swinging back and forth, they were very telltale signs.

“Good news this morning?” He prompted, picking up the coffee pot.

“What?” You were suddenly yanked out of your trance, your entire body tensing as you looked up at him with wide eyes. In one brisk movement you had locked your phone, tossing it to the counter, replacing it with your mug of now chilled coffee.

“Looked like you were in good spirits is all.”

“Got good news about work.” You fibbed.

“About time.” He replied, eyeing you over the rim of his coffee.

“Huh?”

“You’ve been working insane hours the last couple of months.” He pointed out, confusion washing over his face at the way your brow furrowed, “at least I assumed that’s why I’ve barely seen you.”

“Yeah.” You ran a hand through your hair, “crazy amount of OT.” Your phone buzzed on the counter and this time it actually was a work-related text, “speaking of. Gotta run.” Scooping up the device you hopped off the counter, squeezing his shoulder as you moved past him, “I was thinking chicken stir fry for dinner, thoughts?”

“Sounds good.” Elliot watched as you grabbed your bag and scurried out of the apartment. He was a detective, he knew whatever you had been texting about had nothing to do with work.

*

After a long day of work, a few glasses of wine in as you winded down for bed you were sprawled across the couch, tv playing in the background. Though your attention was on your phone, teeth sinking into your lower lip as you read the last message Liv had sent.

‘God, I really wish you were here tonight. I could use your help with something.’

‘Oh?’

‘Bored.’     ‘It’s annoying to have to think of ways to occupy myself.’     

You grinned at her innuendos, your breath catching in your throat when the next message was an array of pictures. The first one her tits pushed up in a deep blue, lacy bra and your mouth practically watered. The second only her arm was covering her chest and the third made your skin prickle with heat. One of her hands sliding down her bare torso, sneaking under the waistband of matching blue lace panties.

‘Thoughts?’

‘I can definitely help with that.’

‘Yeah? Tell me sweet girl, how should I kill some time?’

‘Pretend I’m there, sitting in your lap playing with your tits while your fingers are buried inside me.’

‘You’d like that wouldn’t you? All cute and riled up, grinding down onto my hand. Your fingers sneaking between my legs.’

‘Baby I wouldn’t be able to keep my hands away from you. I want to feel every inch of you, all wet and warm for me.’

An audible gasp left your lips the next time your phone buzzed it was a video, her fingers moving underneath the lace, soft moans and whimpers coming from her lips.

‘Like that sweet girl?’

‘Just like that.’  ‘Fuck, Liv.’  ‘Keep going for me. You know I wouldn’t stop until I’ve made you come. And if I was actually there, I would make you come over and over again.’

‘You really know how to earn a good reward.’ A little smirking emoji accompanied that text.

‘It wouldn’t just be my hands either. You know I adore having my mouth on you, tasting your pussy on my tongue, the noises you always make are so fucking hot.’

‘Can I sit on your face?’

Your entire body tensed, your pussy fluttering and you nearly dropped your phone. ‘Abso-fucking-lutely.’

‘Good girl.’    ‘I picked something up today, something new and just for you, wanna see?’

‘Of course.’

You let out an audible groan when the next picture came in. Olivia was wearing a strap on, her pussy puffy and slick under it, with a new, large purple dildo attached.

‘Wow.’

‘You like it?’

‘I love it.’

‘Shame you’re not here. I’ll just have to wait ‘til the weekend to fuck you with it.’

‘Now you’re just being mean.’

‘Only a tease baby and you know I always follow through on my promises.’

‘So Friday or Saturday?’

‘Lol. Someone’s eager. I’m working late Friday, but off the rest of the weekend.’

‘Perfect. I cannot fucking wait.’

‘Me neither. But not just for the sex, I do honestly really miss you.’

Your heart warmed at her words, a soft smile breaking onto your cheeks as your thought process moved away from the naughty side. Olivia was always so sweet, she made sure you knew how much she cared about you, how much she wanted to be around you all the time, even if things like work were hoarding all her time. You were special to her, and she wanted to make sure you never forgot that. 

‘It really does feel like the days have been dragging recently.’

‘Unless I’m with you then the hours fly by.’

‘You’re turning into a sap, you know that?’

“Who’re you talking to?” Elliot’s voice suddenly came from behind you, and you jumped, bolting upright as you locked your phone. You were so incredibly thankful that all the pictures and sexts had been far enough up they weren’t on the screen anymore.

“No one.”

“Yeah right.” He chuckled, snagging the tv remote to change the channel to something he liked as he dropped down onto the couch beside you. “You’re not hiding it well anymore kid.”

“Don’t call me that.”

“So, spill, who’s the lucky guy?” He nudged at you with his shoulder and you grumbled.

“I’m not saying a word.”

“C’mon, just give me a name. I need to run him through the system.”

“El, stop it. No.” 

“I’m not gonna let you date someone with a record! You deserve better than that.”

“Thank you, but I can guarantee you they do not have a single flag on their file. Hell, their file doesn’t even exist!”

“Perfect! So, you can give me a name.”

You rolled your eyes again and just as you opened your mouth to redirect him, your phone buzzed on the couch with an incoming message. Elliot managed to grab it before you could, and you let out a frustrated groan. At the very least, you’d saved Olivia’s contact as only an ‘L’ with a kissy faced emoji beside it.

“Knew it was a guy.” He grinned at you, finally giving the device back when you started physically fighting to get it back. “L… hmm… Liam? Landon? Lucas?” He tapped his chin as he hummed, “you’ve gotta tell me when I get it. What about…. Leonard!”

“Fuck off Elliot.” 

With your phone safely in hand, you shoved off the couch, retreating to your bedroom where you could continue to text your girlfriend in peace.

**

Olivia absolutely despised the precinct coffee. It was a well-known fact that it was crappy drip coffee provided to them, meaning it was probably the cheapest brand on the shelf. She’d been told that she would simply get used to it over time, but that time was definitely not anytime this decade. She wasn’t aware just how much she actually complained about it until she looked up from her desk to see your smiling face walking into the bull pen.

You dropped a bag of treats off with the desk sergeant, waving hello to the other few detectives that you knew before approaching her desk, leaning against it with your hip as you placed the tray in your hand down.

“Hey.” You greeted with a smile, squeezing at her hand. While some of the squad did know you were together, you still opted for professionalism, especially if it wasn’t your workplace.

“What are you doing here?”

“Brought you the good stuff.” You gestured to the tray, plucking one out to hand to her, “figured you could use a little pick me up.”

“What were you planning on doing if your brother was here?” She asked quietly, a small grin on her face at the thought that you were still more than willing to show up to surprise her.

“I’d come up with something.” You shrugged, “besides isn’t he in court today? He had the fancy tie on when he left for work.”

Olivia laughed, Fin snorted from beside you, saying a quick hi before he dug through the bag of goodies and you handed him a paper mug.

“You should stop by more often. Whenever you want.” He insisted, groaning over a sip of luxurious in comparison coffee, “you’re the better Stabler anyways.”

“Aww… flattery will get you everywhere Detective Tutuola.”

“What’s this?” A voice rang out from behind you and you tensed, the feeling becoming all too familiar, “surprise visit, one of those better be for me.”

You swiped the coffee from Fin’s hand as you turned around, bright smile on your face, “was just waiting for you! I didn’t realize you were in court today and I thought you could use a pick me up.”

“Thanks.” Elliot took the coffee from it, taking a swig and as he swallowed his eyes narrowed in Liv’s direction. You glanced from your brother to where his gaze landed, gulping nervously. “Why does hers have a heart on it?”

Liv glanced to the side of the cup, smiling at the hand drawn heart in a different colour than your name scrawled across the cup and shrugged, “barista must’ve thought she was cute.”

“Barista…” he turned back to you, small grin on his lips, “is that the mystery? Are you dating a barista?”

You glanced at your watch, “shit, would you look at that, my lunch break’s over. Gotta run, I’ll see you at home.”

“I’m right, aren’t I?” Elliot beamed as you glanced back to your girlfriend with apologetic eyes before scurrying from the bull pen. “Oh, come on! That’s how you’ve been affording the expensive beans isn’t it?” He was practically chasing you out of the room as you made a beeline for the elevator doors, trying to get in before they slid shut, unfortunately, Elliot was just as fast as you.

Back at her desk, Liv and Fin watched the whole thing while she shook her head at Elliot’s antics. Fin let out a sad sigh, his eyes lingering on where the other man had disappeared into the elevator.

“I was drinkin’ that…”

Olivia laughed, handing over her coffee.

**

“Fuck baby… don’t stop.” You groaned, your fingers twisting Liv’s hair tighter around them as her tongue swept through your pussy. 

She simply moaned against you in return; there was no way in hell she was letting up until you were coming undone under her. Your hips rocked up off the bed when you gasped and her mouth suctioned around your clit, tongue flicking it in various patterns. One of her hands snuck between your legs, two fingers sinking into your heat and you bit back a louder moan. 

“Shit…” you moaned, your body shivering, “feels, s-so good.”

Her fingers curled inside you, hitting that spot just right and your thighs trembled around her.

“C’mon baby.” She murmured, lips brushing against your cunt, “let go for me. I wanna see how many times I can make you come tonight.”

You nodded furiously as her fingers picked up the pace and her mouth returned to your swollen nub, it only took a few more strokes before she brought you to your peak, your body arching up off the bed. With a small chuckle and a wicked grin Liv kissed her way up your body, still palming between your legs.

“A promise is a promise; I’m far from done with you.”

“Good.” You grinned, tugging her down to you for a kiss, your tongue surging into her mouth, “but my turn first.”

In one swift movement you wrapped your leg around her waist and flipped her onto her back, your lips mapping out every inch of her skin while your hand sunk between her legs.

~

At the other end of the apartment, the door opened, swinging shut behind Elliot as he turned to lock it. The first thing he registered was a thunk echoing from down the hallway. His natural instinct was to go check it out, make sure you were okay and hadn’t broken or spilt anything. Then he noticed the second pair of shoes sitting beside yours that definitely weren’t your style, there was a plate of half-eaten cheesecake on the coffee table and two empty glasses of wine alongside it. The next sound he heard was your giggle, followed by a swear that morphed into a moan and he made the correct choice to not even go look down the hallway.

‘Good for her.’ He thought, picking up a pair of headphones to drown out whatever other noises might end up coming from your bedroom. Maybe now he’d be able to solve the mystery of the barista, name starting with an L.

~

“Christ, you are relentless.” Olivia chuckled breathlessly, collapsing into the pillows of your bed. Her entire body felt like jelly, exhausted with pleasure and satisfied with how many orgasms she’d managed to pull from you.

“You started it.” You grumbled softly, dropping onto her chest as her arm wrapped around you and she left a kiss on the top of your head.

“Maybe we should place bets more often.”

“I like your style detective.” You smirked, shifting up to kiss her, “you’ve left me absolutely parched, you want a water?”

“Please.” Smiling, she watched you slip from the covers, eyes raking over your naked body before you covered it with a robe and slipped out the bedroom door. 

Out of habit you closed it behind you and boy were you glad you did when you rounded the bend into the kitchen to spot Elliot over the breakfast bar on the couch. A heat of embarrassment shot up the back of your neck and into your cheeks, heart pounding again but for a totally different reason as you sidestepped to the cupboard. He nearly jumped at the sudden movement when you swung the cupboard open, yanking off the headphones.

“Hey.” You grimaced, quickly turning your back to him as you filled up the glasses, “sorry.”

“You’re an adult.” He replied with a shrug, “do I get an introduction?”

“Now?” You snorted, “yeah right.”

Picking up the glasses you raced back down the hallway before he could interrogate you any further, whipping the door shut behind you. Liv took one look at your face as you put down the water glasses and her eyes widened,

“Was that El?”

“Yup.” You nodded, your voice a hoarse whisper, hissing through the air. “I thought he was working tonight! He said he was gonna sleep at the precinct!”

“Shit.” She muttered, dropping back onto the bed and running a hand over her face. “I can’t stay tonight…”

“If you want to walk right past him to the door, be my guest!”

“Are you suggesting I go down the fire escape?!”

“No!” You let out an exasperated sigh, dropping down onto the edge of the bed, “fuck…”

“He really has no idea?” She asked, sitting up as she reached for your hand, stopping you from picking at your nails.

“No. He’s still as clueless as the day I dropped you off coffee.”

“Still thinks it’s a barista?”

“Yeah.” A puff of air left your lips as you looked up at her, “Liv I’m so sorry. I never should have convinced you into this.”

“It’s okay, we never get to spend time at your place.”

“No, I meant this whole fucking mess.”

She stalled, eyes darting around your face, “sweetheart… I asked you out. I was the one doing the pursuing, and this isn’t a mess.” Her hand slid up your arm, squeezing at your shoulder, “besides, what was I supposed to do? Let Elliot stop me from dating you? Fat chance. You outrank him any day.”

You cast her a small smile and she tapped her finger on the tip of your nose. “You sound like Fin.” 

She laughed, quickly moving her hand to cover her mouth and your smile quickly reached your eyes. With a quick glance at the clock you did the mental math, 

“It’s late. He always showers before bed; we can sneak you out of here then.”

“God, I feel like I’m sixteen again.” She laughed softly as you raised a brow at her, “it’s exhilarating.”

You swatted her arm, “okay, but next time we’re at your place.”

“Agreed.” She leant in, pressing a tender kiss to your lips.

**

You and Olivia were twisted in her bedsheets in the late Sunday afternoon, the sun lowering in the horizon casting her bedroom in golden hue. You’d been at it most of the day, movies playing in the background while you went round for round between naps entangled in each other’s arms. It was safe to say that you’d both worked up quite the appetite, ordering in for what would be acting as dinner. Her lips brushed against yours again as they curved up into a grin, lazily kissing you as there was nowhere else either of you would rather be. Her phone vibrated on the nightstand and she blindly reached for it, hitting the button to buzz the driver upstairs. 

You let out a loud groan, attempting to roll away from her but her arm tightened around your center.

“Nope.”

“Liv,” you laughed tickling at her arm, “I need to pay the man, and I can’t answer the door naked.”

“Fine.” 

Reluctantly she let you slip from between the sheets, so you could tug on your panties and an oversized shirt she usually wore to bed. You dug through your purse for your wallet and padded through her apartment, getting to the door right as it was knocked on. Quickly unlatching the chain, you swung it open, only problem was the guy standing in front of you didn’t have any pizza in his hands.

“What are you doing here?” You asked your brother, taking a wary step back from the doorway.

“I’m here to see Liv.” He replied, not even recognizing the state of undress you were in, “what’re you doing here?”

“Waiting for my pizza.”

“Babe?” Liv called from the bedroom, “what’s the hold up? You need more cash?” She stepped into the living room tightening her robe with one hand while the other clutched her wallet, “I—” She froze at the sight of Elliot in her doorway. The realization finally fully crashed over you and your body tensed, glancing between the two of them, “El. Shit, hey.”

“You didn’t pick up your phone.” He said plainly, looking right past you.

“Yeah… I was a little busy.”

He glanced around the living room, as if he’d lost all of his years of experience as a detective and had no possible way of putting things together right now. 

“Movie night?” He asked, his voice creeping up in an unsure way.

You couldn’t help it, bursting out into laughter, “yeah, okay. You are not that dumb.” You turned to your girlfriend, a hand wrapping around her waist as you pulled her to you and planted a kiss on her lips, lingering longer than you normally would in a PDA situation, “let me know when the food’s here?”

“Yeah.” She murmured, flustered with heated cheeks.

Elliot shook his head as if coming back to life, “wait a minute. What the hell!?” He called after you, stepping into the apartment as you attempted to disappear into the bedroom, “hey! You get back here!”

“Can I at least put on some fucking pants?” You yelled back, yanking some shorts up your legs before returning back to the living room.

“What is going on here?” He asked, looking between the two of you, “I thought you were dating that barista.”

Olivia laughed and you dropped your face into your palm, muttering to yourself, “oh my god. There is no barista! There never was a barista.”

“What about the heart on the coffee cup?” He asked.

“I drew that… for Liv.” You gestured towards her and she smiled sheepishly.

“You had a guy in your room a week ago!”

It was your turn to blush as Olivia let out a small chuckle, “wasn’t a guy…”

Elliot’s eyes widened for a second as it finally dawned on him, “how long has this been going on?”

You and Liv glanced at each other before you spoke, “like… six months.”

“Six… six months?” He dropped down onto the couch behind him, “so all those late nights? You sneaking back in?”

“I was… with her.” You shrugged.

Elliot turned to Olivia, “every time you opted out of drinks? Took off early…”

“I was defiling your little sister, correct.” She smirked; you barked out a laugh and Elliot pulled a face.

“Listen, El…” you started, “could you spare us the lecture, at least until Monday?”

“Lecture?” He looked up at you and you raised your hands.

“The lecture you give me anytime I date someone, the ‘I’m a cop I’ll hunt you down’ threats you give my partners….”

“I mean they are kinda redundant now. I’ve got my own gun.” Liv commented, now completely free of any embarrassment she was totally ready to tease the hell out of her partner.

“I think I’m just… shocked.” He stated, slowly piecing together his words, “I spend every single day with the two of you, how the hell did I not pick up on it?”

“We were careful.” You suggested, “I didn’t want you getting pissed, doing something stupid that made us fight and you be a total ass to Liv at work.”

“Something stupid?”

“Like forbid us from seeing each other?” Liv offered.

“I, eugh, no.” He shook his head, “even if I tried…”

“Wouldn’t be possible.” The two of you finished in tandem.

He let out a heavy sigh, rubbing both hands over his face before he leant back into the couch, taking a second to think things over. He looked to you first,

“Are you happy?”

“Inescapably.” You couldn’t help the giant smile that took over your face.

He nodded, glancing over to Liv, “and you’re treating her right?”

“I wouldn’t have it any other way, she deserves the world.” She replied, unable to tear her eyes away from you as she spoke with a dreamy look in her eyes.

Elliot hummed, sitting forward, “okay, fine.” He shrugged, “it’s not like I have any say anyways.”

“Okay, great.” You lunged forward, grabbing him by the arm and dragging him up to standing, “now would you get out of here so we can enjoy the rest of our weekend?”

He was almost considering protesting but there was another knock on the door and he was well aware it was the takeout you’d been expecting. With a final sigh he glanced between the two of you,

“Fine. But you keep it down at our place, I don’t want to hear anything to see any gross PDA.”

“That will literally never happen again as long as you keep the calendar updated with your actual schedule!” You pointed out.

“And you’re coming to family dinner next week.” He pointed to Olivia, “no more excuses, no more hiding.” His eyes landed back on you as you slowly backed him toward the door, “and no more secrets, okay? There shouldn’t be any reason you have to lie to me.”

“Okay.” You nodded, pulling open the door and he stalled one more time in front of the very confused delivery guy.

“And one more thing.”

“Elliot!” Olivia groaned with an eye roll, stepping forward to usher him out of the apartment.

“You two take this,” he handed over the boxes, “I’m paying, an apology for barging in on your night.”

He swung the door shut before either of you had any time to protest, finally leaving you in peace. Liv flicked the lock to make sure he wouldn’t have any last-minute interjections and took your hand.

“Well… that’s that.”

“Yeah.” You lifted your head, smiling brightly at her.

“Could’ve been worse.”

“Definitely.” You laughed, “he could’ve come home extra early last week and caught us on the couch.”

“Remind me to never take my clothes off anywhere but your bedroom ever again.”

“What about the shower?” You raised a brow and she grinned at you.

“Is that a question or a request?”

“I’m a sucker for hacks on how to save on my water bill.”

“Suggestion heard and granted.” Liv wrapped her arm around your waist, the takeout left forgotten on the coffee table as her lips captured yours in a kiss, a low growl coming from her throat as she started backing you down the hallway.

It didn’t matter what Elliot thought, it didn’t matter what anyone thought. As long as the two of you were happy and having a good time, everything was wonderful. And when you finally collapsed into her bed that night, bodies aching in the best way possible as you tangled your limbs together, soft ‘I love you-s’ whispered in the dark, you knew there was no place more meant for you to be.

____________

@red1culous @imlike-so-gaydude @altsvu @svulife-rl @lesbianspacecowboy @wannabe-fic-reader @lawandorderimagines @venablemayfairgoode @mysticfalls01 @beccabarba @littlegaybabe @cmmndrwidw @bumblebear30 @enduringalexblake @wosoimagines @solemnnova @infernumlilith @australiancarisi @cerberus-spectre @wandas-wife @lawandorderuswnt @wandasbrat @hbkpop @samwithnoplan @multifandomlesbianic @sia2raw @ladysc @narvaldetierra @dxtery @poisonedcrowns @momlifebehard @holycrapraewth @alexxavicry @onmykneesformarvel @kmc1989 @temp0rary-bliss @gamma-rae-bursts @oliviasgayvibe @cabotnovak24 @schemmentisimpasours

[unethicalpeacemonger]

Hello everyone, have a Gerard fanart while I talk about the current situation here in Indonesia

Press down here, please read all the way through if you can

Hello, I am A, I'm Indonesian. I apologize for my terrible grammar. I will be using initials due to future safety concerns.

Right now Indonesia is going through a massive change under the reign of our new president and his vice, and I can't say its a good thing. Our elected president, initial P. S. is an alleged human rights offender due to his participation in the kidnapping of several activists back in 1997 and 1998 during Indonesia's "New Order", under president Soeharto and a known Zionist. Meanwhile his vice, G. R. Is the son of our previous reigning president, a pro AI leader and generally seems to be underqualified to be a vice president.

It has been a little bit over 100 days of P. S. and G. R.'s reign over Indonesia and country has been in shambles. During their campaign, they promised the people a free nutritious lunch program that won them a massive following of supporters. However, the program turned out not as expected with the food being barely nutritious and even bad at times. But these are not only the problem Indonesia has been facing these past few months.

Some of these problems are; the government cutting education funds, countless of mis-use of AI in spaces it shouldn't (AI-art, AI competitions), even things like the shooting of a highschool student by an armed police officer, and silencing any form of art that criticized the governmental corruption. All happened in the span of more or less 100 days under the reign of our newly elected president.

However, the country reached a new low in the past 2 days. The parliament recently discussed a new bill that contained a revision to military personnel, letting them take part in socio-politics departement. The discussion was done closed, in a fancy hotel and not in the official government office. And just yesterday, they approved this bill.

If you're unfamiliar with this, Indonesia's military system had this exact system back in The New Order, under Soeharto's dictator reign. And according to history, this has done greater harm than good, increasing the probability of violence by the cops and military, silenced journalists, kidnapping and murder of activists, and ultimately, according to Indonesian history, a riot that killed several college students from Trisakti University.

Yesterday, several riots were planned, mostly by college students in Jakarta and they were met with violence by military personnel keeping track of them (mostly beatings). This alone has proved the escalated risk of violence by military personnel.

Please spread this as far as you can. And if you can, please do your own research because I am also not invincible to misinformation and/or propagandas. I'd like for people outside of my country know what is happening to us incase something greater than us happens.

[bellaxgiornata]

Seeking Forgiveness [Part Nine]

Pairing: Matt Murdock x Fem!Reader Word Count: 4k [Series Masterlist]

Warnings/tags: 18+ contains angst, emotional hurt, delayed comfort, pregnant Reader, mentions/fear of miscarriage

a/n: Long time no update, I know. I was stalled with this fic because it wasn't supposed to be long, but then it grew into something bigger and needed a new direction and it took me a bit to figure that out. Now I think I've found it. Feedback and reblogs are always appreciated!

Matt’s fingers slowly ran over the braille document on the table before himself, his mind struggling to focus on the work he was supposed to be accomplishing right now. He'd promised Fog yesterday at the office that he'd help him sift through some more information for a case they'd been working on first thing in the morning, but his mind just couldn't stay on task. Repeatedly he'd had to run his fingers over the letters just to get a couple of them to form words in his mind, but then in mere seconds he'd forgotten what he'd just read.

But how could he focus on work right now with what he was doing later today? The only thing he could think about since the moment he’d woken up and shuffled out of his bedroom this morning was you. Because today was Saturday. It was the day you’d agreed to meet with him for that coffee where you’d planned to have an important conversation with him. And as much as Matt had tried not to let himself hope for too much to come from this talk, he couldn't stop that hope from growing inside of himself. It had been steadily growing brighter and brighter ever since you’d first agreed to meet the other night. 

As his fingers traced the braille letters of the same line on the page yet again, Matt could feel the weight of Foggy’s eyes on him from across his kitchen table. He could tell Foggy had begun to notice his behavior, his increasing annoyance becoming apparent in the way his fingers had been steadily tapping faster against the table in less of an absent fidget and more of an agitated rhythm.

Once more Matt tried to read the line again, retracing his fingers over it as he leaned further over the document, as if getting closer to it would somehow help him to concentrate. But then he found his mind once more diverting from its task, instead thinking of himself sitting with you over coffee in only a matter of hours. Because soon he'd actually be talking to you, hearing your voice again, possibly even the sound of your laughter that he so sorely missed. And if he was lucky, maybe you'd let him hold you in his arms again, even if it was just to say goodbye.

“Alright,” Foggy said in exasperation, slumping back in his chair. “What is it that's got you so distracted? Because I've been here for almost a half an hour now and you haven't even read the page that's been sitting in front of you for just as long. Is it some Daredevil thing that's on your mind? Because buddy, that can wait until later tonight. We have actual legal work to accomplish right now.”

Matt released a defeated sigh, sitting back in his chair and pushing the document away from himself as his attention shifted over to Foggy. He felt guilty for not being able to focus on work–a problem he'd truly struggled with for far longer than just this morning if he was being honest. Ever since he'd learned you were pregnant his mind was often elsewhere.

“It’s nothing to do with that. It's just–I'm meeting with her this morning. To talk over coffee,” Matt told him. 

Foggy suddenly sat up straight in his chair, the annoyance in his body language immediately disappearing. He said your name in question, the tone of it hopeful.

“Yeah,” Matt acknowledged with a nod. “She agreed to talk and that's all I can focus on. I'm sorry, Fog. I just–just can't think about anything else because I don't want to mess this up with her. I doubt she'll give me another chance to sit down with her.”

“I don't know man,” Foggy disagreed. “I think she wants things to work between you both. From what I hear, it sounds like she's just scared.”

Matt pulled a face, his head canting to the side. “Scared?” he repeated. “Scared of what?”

“Of things not working out between you both,” Foggy answered. “I think you both really want the same things. And from what I’ve heard, I think she’s scared you might hurt her again.”

Matt frowned as he shifted his attention away from Foggy, his right hand reaching up to messily run through his hair. He wasn't certain of the truth in everything Foggy had just said. Matt had a feeling that he wanted far more from you than you wanted from him. And that scared him . But he absolutely refused to ever be in a situation to let you down again. He’d learned from his mistake–he would never break a promise to you again.

“So what exactly are you both planning to talk about this morning?” Foggy questioned. “Just the baby? Or…is there talk about you two getting back together?”

Matt's hand ran another pass through his hair in nervous frustration. Of course that's one of the things he’d wanted to discuss with you, but he was certain that particular topic wasn't even on the agenda for this morning. It probably wasn’t even remotely on your mind. It didn’t matter if you’d asked him to hold you in your bed the other night after the scare you’d had because he’d known exactly what that had meant. He was just happy that at the very least, you found his presence comforting still.

“I think we're just talking about me being more involved with the baby,” he answered. “That’s all the talk is about. And don't get me wrong, I'm happy we're even discussing that after the mess I made of things over the past few months. Because I do want to be more involved in things with her and our daughter even if she hasn’t been born yet. But I…”

Matt trailed off, the frown deepening on his lips as his focus dropped down towards the table. He heard Foggy lean forward, resting his elbows along the surface of it as his pulse accelerated in anticipation.

“But what?” he pushed.

Licking his lips nervously, Matt's eyes slowly closed. “I want more,” he admitted aloud. “And I know after how I messed things up that I don't deserve it with her. She's far too good for me, Fog. I get it. But I still want it.”

“Want what, exactly?” he asked. “The relationship?”

“Yes,” Matt answered immediately. “And I still want her to move in with me like we had been planning before everything fell apart and she found out she was pregnant,” Matt confessed, finally bearing his heart to Foggy. “I want her here . I want to set up the crib in our room that’ll be our daughter’s bed. I want them all in that room,” Matt said, gesturing behind Foggy to his bedroom, “where I can sleep next to both of them every single night. Knowing they're both safe with me. And I want to make space in the closet and the dresser for both of their things. I want to accidentally pull out baby pajamas instead of a tie in the mornings.” A sad smile tugged at Matt’s lips as he imagined everything in his mind while he spoke. “I want her to keep that growing stockpile of diaper boxes in her apartment right over there,” he continued, gesturing a hand towards the closet past his couch where he kept his Daredevil suit. “And I want to wake up and make coffee to the sound of a baby babbling.”

Tears were beginning to sting at Matt’s eyes as a flood of emotion began to well inside of him. He'd never realized quite how much he had been wanting until he’d suddenly given voice to it.

“I just want her to be here so that I can make her breakfast in the morning and dinner in the evening,” he continued softly. “I want her here so I can rub her back when she's throwing up or her feet when they're sore after work. I just–”

He paused, wincing. He found himself wanting so much that he never realized he'd even wanted until you had come into his life. But how would he ever be able to have any of that? After how he'd ended things with you and walked out on you when you'd begged him to stay? How did he get you to still move in with him? Let him be a part of your life again? Trust him again?

“I just want it all,” he whispered, fighting back the burn of tears. “But that's not what this talk is about today, and I understand that.”

“You could still tell her,” Foggy suggested gently. “You could still let her know how you feel, Matt. Be open with her about your feelings.”

Matt shook his head, his heart feeling leaden in his chest. “No,” he told him. “I think that's the last thing she wants to hear right now. I can't push my luck, Fog. Maybe someday I can tell her all of that, but I don't think today is that day.”

“I don't know, man,” Foggy countered.

“I can't ask for too much when I don't deserve it,” Matt said. “She needs to know I'm serious first, so that's my focus. I'll take whatever she gives me and show her that I mean it when I say I want to be a part of things. That I’ll really be there when she needs me.”

“For the record, I don’t exactly agree with that route,” Foggy told him. “But if you think telling her how you feel will somehow push her away instead of bring her closer, then I’m not about to argue because you’re obviously not going to listen. I’m just happy to hear that you’re both sitting down together to talk finally. We’re all rooting for the both of you to figure this all out, Matt.”

Matt’s attention focused on Foggy across the table from him. He heard the truth in his words with how steady his heartbeat had been. It felt good to know at least his friends believed in him. But he knew it would feel amazing to finally have you believe in him again, too.

You didn’t have to search hard to find Matt. He’d sent you a text when you’d left your apartment and made your way to the coffee shop letting you know that he’d already arrived early and grabbed a table. And now there he was, sitting in a corner booth with a coffee in front of himself and another across the table from him. A wave of nerves hit you at the sight of him in his dark jeans and snug-fitting gray shirt, your stomach twisting anxiously as the reality of sitting down with him actually hit you. It had been so long since you’d both really sat down together to talk; the only other time had been earlier this week on the night he’d shown up at your apartment because he’d heard your panic. But that had been under entirely different circumstances than this. 

Matt’s head instantly spun in your direction as the door to the shop shut behind you. You figured he’d probably picked up on your strong reaction to seeing him, and that only increased the nerves running loose in your stomach. Beginning to make your way over towards the corner booth where he sat, his covered gaze focused on you, you chewed your bottom lip while awkwardly maneuvering your small bump between the tables and chairs. Briefly you were reminded of your third date at this very coffee shop with Matt. The memory of it had you longing to be able to slide into the booth beside him and wrap your arms around him now, desperate for some of his strength to transfer to you. 

“Hey, Matt,” you greeted lightly, slowly sliding into the bench across from him. “I hope you weren’t waiting too long on me.”

A timid smile spread over his lips as he shook his head. “Not at all. Though I already ordered you a coffee.” His hand gestured to the cup now in front of you. “Vanilla latte, iced. I hope that’s okay. If not, I can grab you something else.”

“No,” you said, a nervous smile forming on your own lips as you shook your head, getting comfortable in the booth. “It’s perfect, actually. Thank you. I’ve been on an iced vanilla latte kick for weeks now.”

The smile on Matt’s mouth turned sheepish as you reached out and picked up the ice cold cup. You drank down a sip of the coffee, reveling in how good it tasted as you watched Matt’s hand awkwardly scratch at the back of his neck.

“So I’ve heard,” he said. “Karen mentioned that the other day actually. I figured it would be a safe bet.”

“Oh,” you said. “That makes sense then.”

Lowering the cup back to the table, you shifted anxiously in your seat. Normally things had never been this tense between you and Matt, but you weren’t certain how to navigate whatever the pair of you were now. You weren’t entirely sure how to just be around him anymore, especially not while currently carrying his child.

“So how’re things at the office?” you asked him.

“Good,” Matt answered. “Busy. There’s a handful of cases that we’re working on and I think we’re all realizing we may have overextended ourselves, but we’ll figure it out.”

You nodded, your finger toying with the condensation on the outside of your plastic cup. “That’s good. How’s uh–” you paused, not certain you were allowed to be asking him something so personal, but the question had already started to come out before you could stop it, “–how’re things going at night? With, well, you know…?”

Matt sent you a small smile, his covered gaze focused on you from across the table. Your eyes dropped back down to your coffee cup, your heart beating a little harder. You forgot the effect he had on you, but with him sitting right there after months apart, you couldn’t entirely ignore it now. 

You missed him.

“Also good,” he answered. “Not quite so busy, but still…busy.”

“Right,” you muttered awkwardly.

How the hell were you supposed to talk about the baby growing inside of you when you could barely look at him to discuss normal pleasantries? It felt so wrong being so awkward with him as you sat across the table. You found yourself struggling with this meeting more than you’d anticipated, wishing things just felt like they used to be between you both.

“How’re you doing?” Matt asked softly.

The gentle tone had caught you off guard, your gaze flitting back up towards his face. He looked just as nervous as you felt. And Matthew Murdock didn’t generally get nervous.

“Do you want the polite response I usually give people?” you half-joked. “Or do you want the honest answer to that question?”

“The honest one,” he replied.

“Well,” you began, your gaze dropping back down to your coffee cup, “I’m tired all the time. I’ve probably finally reached your level of tired.” 

You paused, smiling down at your cup when you heard him laugh lightly across the table from you. The sound had a warm, pleasant sensation gradually settling in your stomach.

“I almost always have a headache I can never seem to get rid of,” you continued. “I’m guessing that’s something to do with the hormones and increased blood flow. And I feel like my lower back has a personal vendetta against me as of late.”

“I’m sorry to hear that,” he said, amusement in his tone. “How’s the nausea?”

You shrugged a shoulder, your eyes once more returning to his face. Internally you cursed him for being so handsome. It only made you long to grab him and kiss him like you used to be able to. Clearing your throat, you tried to ignore that thought.

“Better,” you answered. “Not magically gone like I somehow assumed it would be once I got out of the first trimester, but I don’t want to vomit all the time. Though uh–” 

You paused as a grin spread over your mouth, noticing how it was quickly mirrored on Matt’s face as his head tilted curiously to the side. That flutter of warmth in your stomach felt like it was steadily heating you from the inside at the sight of it.

“What?” he pressed curiously.

“So when you’re pregnant,” you began, the grin remaining on your lips, “your sense of smell heightens. Also because of the hormones, I assume. But I’d wanted to tell you about that little symptom the moment I started experiencing it because I figured if anyone else would understand how gross passing a dumpster smells, it’d be you.”

“You’re certainly not wrong,” he agreed with a chuckle.

“And that symptom hasn’t exactly disappeared yet,” you told him, your grin having grown into a smile. “So some things still make me want to puke. Particularly the smell of bell peppers for some unknown reason.”

“Duly noted. I’ll make sure not to bring any near you,” Matt teased. “But I’ve read that ginger helps–”

You raised a hand, cutting him off and shaking your head as you pulled a face. Matt’s brows furrowed beneath his dark lenses, his mouth suddenly closing.

“Sorry,” you said, your stomach churning. “It’s just that I tried using those hard candies they make for morning sickness so much that the ‘g’ word now makes me immediately want to puke. They’ve had the reverse effect on me.”

“Oh,” he breathed out, the smile falling from his lips. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know.”

“That’s alright,” you assured him, picking up the cup of coffee from in front of you again. “I didn’t expect you to.”

That uncomfortable, awkward silence fell over the pair of you again. You took a sip from your cup, watching as Matt’s left hand on the table began anxiously tapping along it. Swallowing down your drink, you supposed you should probably discuss the real reason you were both here.

“So uh,” you began, clearing your throat as you set the coffee cup back onto the table, “we should probably talk about the baby.”

Matt nodded, a tense smile now drawing itself across his lips. As if he was nervous about this topic of conversation.

“You were saying the other night that you wanted to be more involved?” you asked. 

“Yes,” he answered earnestly. “If that’s alright with you, of course. I know she’s not exactly here yet, but I’d like to be as a part of things as I can be.”

Eyes dropping back down to your coffee cup, your index finger smeared a drop of condensation along the side of it. There was a heaviness in the air between you both, one you didn’t need Matt’s senses to detect.

“How involved?” you asked softly. “You want updates if something is going on or…do you want to actually attend appointments with me?”

Matt perked up in the booth across from you, the movement drawing your attention back over to him. He was sitting a little straighter now, something hopeful written across the features of his face even with his glasses on. 

“Would that be alright?” he asked. “If I wanted to go to some of your appointments with you?”

“I suppose so,” you answered slowly. “But I don’t know how interesting they’d be for you. Unlike the rest of us, you don’t need technology to hear her heartbeat. I’m assuming you’ve already been listening to her since I got here.”

Another sheepish smile slipped onto his lips. “You wouldn’t be wrong,” he admitted. “I’ve grown quite fond of the sound of her heartbeat. Especially hearing it beating so close to your own.”

A flush crept up your neck, your gaze dropping back down to your coffee as one hand nervously began spinning your cup on the table. You hadn’t expected him to tell you that, or for how it made you feel. 

“I have an appointment in a couple of weeks,” you told him, trying to ignore the heat in your cheeks. “I can let you know the details when it gets closer if you’d like to come with me.”

“I’d like that,” he replied. “A lot, actually.”

Nervously gnawing on your bottom lip, your gaze still averted from him, you weren’t sure how to broach the next thing you’d considered bringing up. Matt had wanted to be more involved, but how much more did he truly mean? 

“So you also said that you wanted to be around when I didn’t necessarily need you,” you began carefully, your eyes slowly drawing back up to his face. “What’d you mean by that exactly?”

You saw the way his throat bobbed as he swallowed hard, his finger tapping faster atop the table. His other hand reached up to readjust his glasses along the bridge of his nose before he spoke.

“I know we’re not together,” he answered slowly, “but I’d like to spend time together. With both of you. If that’s okay? Not–not all the time. Like I said, I know we’re not together and I’m not going to delude myself into thinking things are other than what they are right now. But I’d like to help you out if I could. Cooking or cleaning occasionally so you can just rest. Grabbing groceries if you need. Anything like that.”

“You…really want that?” you asked, eyes narrowing curiously. “Especially with how busy you are?”

“I want to help,” he assured you.

You nodded slowly, aware that having him around you more often would only make you miss him more. But if things were ever going to progress back to how they once were between you two, you figured this was a good first step to reaching that.

“Okay,” you whispered.

His dark brows jumped up onto his forehead in surprise. “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” you answered. “If we’re going to figure this parenting thing out together, I suppose we should start figuring it out before she’s born. Right? It only makes sense.”

A broad smile broke out across Matt’s face immediately. The sight of it nearly blinded you with how happy he’d suddenly looked. 

“You mean that?” he asked. “About doing this together–raising her together? Do you really mean that?”

“With how much you clearly seem to want to be a part of this,” you told him, “it seems cruel not to try to see if things can work out. So yeah. I think we should focus on taking small steps towards that and see if things can actually work out eventually so we aren’t just…co-parenting.”

There was a faint tremble to his lips that you’d just barely caught despite that beaming smile on his face. The sight instantly reminded you of the other night when he’d asked for permission to feel your baby bump. He’d gotten so emotional the moment he’d felt your daughter move and experiencing that with him had felt special in a way that you couldn’t exactly describe. You just knew that after that moment, you didn’t want to keep any more of those experiences from him. Not if he was truly going to give you and your daughter all of himself.

“Plus, I could use help thinking of a name,” you added with a small smile. “She’s not just mine, after all.”

Matt sniffled softly, his lips still faintly trembling. He almost seemed to be on the verge of crying, and you wondered if he wasn’t wearing the glasses right now, if you’d have seen his eyes rimmed in red and filled with tears.

“Thank you,” he whispered, his hand sliding across the table towards you. “For giving me this chance despite everything.”

Your eyes dropped down to his outstretched hand, studying it for a moment. You knew what that hand meant beyond the obvious gesture. Hesitantly your right hand released your coffee cup and slowly slid across the table towards Matt’s. Carefully you wrapped your fingers around his, your heart beating a little faster when his gripped yours in return.

“She deserves both of us,” you whispered. “As long as we can find a way to make this work.”

Tag List: @mattmurdocksstarlight @just-going-through-the-motions @paracosmic-murdock @yeonalie @auroraslibrary @1988-fiend @will-delete-this-later-probably @two-unbeatable-beaters @danzer8705 @ragamuffin285 @callmebrooklynbabes @spookyboogyuniverse @peachy-aisha @stevenknightmarc @nerdytreeflower @fucktthisworld @remuslupinwifee @kmc1989 @thychuvaluswife @mywellspringoflife @thornbushrose @yarrystyleeza @shiorimakibawrites @marvelcinematiquniverse @vallovesthedilfs @scoliobean @this-is-music @mattmurdocks6thscaleapartment @ashlynhasmanyhyperfixations @swissy23 @babygorewhore @that-girl-named-alex @warsaur @lareinaisabelle @pazii @senjoritanana @mischiefmanaged71511-blog @xxdrixx @jess-rye @hannahbohen @theclassicvinyldragon @karolamurdock @theoraekenslover @mr-underhills-things @jennifer0305 @capswife @amazexng @blackhawkfanatic @ladywholikesreading @powellssaturn @sunflower-tia @indestructeible  @allllium @gamingfeline @kezibear @vallovesthedilfs @the-skys-musical-echo @justanerd1 @better305 @n3versatisfied @scriptedmoon @loves0phelia @roxytheimmortal

[yasministration]

Imma just fix up my request here- congrats on 3k btw!!!

so since i saw the req were open for the celebration, i thought id request according to that; I'd like a winter with quotes "i'm saying this because i care about you" and "i just want you to be happy" and the blurb (?) like a ploy marauders x reader (but its like that time b4 the war and so pete is like contemplating joining the dark side and they're all worried and trying to get him to rethink?)

it could be based on "Devil doesn't bargain" by alec benjamin(?) Like they're all trying to keep him from joining Voldy-baldy, and it's all angsty but fluffy. You can choose a happy or tragedic ending :) Hope it's okay, thank you and have a good day!

When the war is over - poly!marauders

ʀᴀɪɴʏᴅᴀʏᴀᴛʜᴏɢᴡᴀʀᴛꜱ' 3ᴋ ᴄᴇʟᴇʙʀᴀᴛɪᴏɴ! summary: with the war escalating, everyone is rethinking their values, and it seems like yours don't match with one of the people closest to your heart. wc: 1666 (speak of the devil) forgot to post this yesterday but oh well

The silence between you and the other marauders was deafening, the underground wizard news channel on the muggle radio finally cutting off. The only sounds you could hear were the boys’ breathing, particularly Peter’s racing breath. He was going to have a panic attack. You stood up, quietly moving across the room to sit next to the anxious boy. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders, pressing a kiss to his forehead as you whispered soothing words to him. The words on the radio hadn’t soothed anyone, only adding onto the increasing stress in regard to the situation.

“What if he kills my parents?” Peter finally spoke, causing the other three boys’ heads to perk up. “Pete, your parents are safe.” “But if he finds out I’m in the order he’ll kill them, he’ll-” You brought Peter closer to you, and he dug his face in the crook of your neck as he broke into heartbreaking sobs. Worriedly, you looked over to the three other boys sitting in James’s childhood bedroom. What was Peter insinuating? James held his head in his hands and he was crouched over, thinking deeply. Remus and Sirius were cuddled up together, returning your gaze. Remus shrugged, his arms visibly tightening around Sirius’s body.

“James, are you alright love?” James lifted his head from where he was resting it, allowing you a view of his teary waterline. You gestured for him to come to you with a nod of your head, and the boy abided, taking long steps before slumping next to you on the couch. You put one hand on James’s thigh, leaning over to press a kiss on his cheek and the boy sniffled as his eyes betrayed him, a tear running down the length of his soft cheek. You lifted your hand off James’s thigh, outstretching that arm so he could fill the space in front of it, comforted by the warmth you had to offer.

Suddenly, Peter pushed away from your chest, standing abruptly to begin pacing. “If he finds out I’m in the order, he won’t just kill my parents, he’ll kill everyone I love.” Peter repeated, his tone now factual and determined. He halted his step, turning to look straight at you. “Pete…” “Just listen to me. I’m saying this because I care about you. If I was on his side, he’d leave all of you alone. My parents, you, the boys.” James lifted his head from where it was hidden, his face now red and wet from his silent crying. “So you’re going to betray everything we stand for so he ‘doesn’t kill us!? “ James yelled angrily, tears still streaming down his face. “If only it were that easy Pete! If everyone was so focused on not getting killed rather than doing the right thing, no one would be on the order’s side!” You put a hand on James’s bicep, quietly muttering his name as Peter replied with “Well I’m sorry not everyone is fucking suicidal!”

Remus stood up from the bed, alert now that things were escalating. “I think we’re all just a little bit tense. Let’s not make any impulsive decisions.” Remus’s words didn’t get a response from anyone, so you gestured for him to sit down with James whilst you stood up, taking careful steps towards Peter. You slid both your hands into his, looking deeply into his eyes. “Pete, my love. I just want you to be happy. We all just want you to be happy. But before we can all live happily ever after, we need to fight this. If you join his side, no matter what, things are going to end badly for you. Voldemort doesn’t believe in loyalty. If you make a single mistake, he’ll kill you.”

Peter brought you into a tight hug, his face hidden in the crook of your neck. “I don’t want to die.” He whispered to you, and the despair in his voice brought tears to your eyes, blurring your vision. You raised a hand, snaking it in Peter’s hair and you mumble “I don’t want to die either, Pete.” You made eye contact with Sirius across the room, who looked ready to pounce on Pete if he made the wrong decision. “But… But I have to stand for what I believe in. And if that means I die in war, then I’ll die with honour.” “Don’t say that.” Sirius cut in, standing up suddenly. “We’re going to fight in this war, but no one is going to fucking die. Voldemort will only get weaker from here. His troops are already fleeing because they don’t trust him.”

His gaze was locked on Peter, and despite the other boy having his back turned towards him, Sirius directed every single word to him. “How are you going to join a man to ‘stay safe’ when his own soldiers are hiding away from him? If you think he’s going to keep you safe Pete, you’re wrong.” “Be nice!” You cried, feeling the tears dribble down your face. Sirius stepped towards you, bringing your face in his hands to wipe away at your tears. Sirius kissed you softly, mumbling an apology against your lips. But it was aimed towards you, not the boy in your arms.

“She’s right.” Remus spoke again. He was holding James just like you were holding Peter. “We need to be nice. Look how we’ve already upset each other so much! We’re supposed to be a team, and if we can’t stand together during this time, then we don’t love each other as much as we thought we did.” You nodded, unwrapping Peter from your hold to sit down on James’s bed, fiddling with the sleeves of your jumper. “We’re all feeling a lot of emotions,” You started, watching as Sirius sat down next to you. “I think we should just try to sleep things off tonight and speak like adults tomorrow.”

Sirius pressed a kiss on your forehead, and you leaned into his touch, wrapping both your arms around his waist in a loose hug. “I agree.” He said, and the two boys who sat across from you echoed his same words. Your eyes glimmered with new tears when you realised Peter hadn’t answered. “Pete?” The boy nodded, but he made no move to sit down with anyone. James stood up silently, opening the sofa-bed he and Remus were sat on so that everyone had space to sleep.

Sirius climbed onto the sofa-bed with Remus, and James joined you on the bed, leaving the blankets off so you could cuddle next to him before he threw them back over your figure. “I’ll join you guys in a bit.” Peter spoke, walking out of the door, for what you assumed was taking a breath of fresh air.

But when you woke up the next morning, there was a letter on your side of the bed. You yawned tiredly, looking around the room to find three out of the four boys in the room. You blinked away the tiredness, swallowing thickly when you finally spotted the letter on the bedside table.

“I’m doing this because I care about you, and love you more than anything else in the world. I won’t let him kill you, or any of the boys. I’ll make sure of that.

I’ll find you when the war is over, but for now, I have too many people I need to keep safe. I left you my blue jumper you like to borrow. Please wear it.

All my love,

Peter”

You didn’t realise you were crying until a loud sob escaped your chest, and Remus jolted awake, his big movements waking Sirius up in the process. You felt as though you couldn’t breathe, bringing a closed fist up to aggressively wipe away at your tears. Remus was in front of you in an instant, asking if you were okay and pulling you into a hug, but Sirius was the one to take notice of the piece of parchment in your hand. “Fuck!” Sirius yelled, scanning through the words quickly. James stirred slowly, arms closing around the empty space you previously laid in. Realising your absence, James cracked his eyes open, adjusting to the scene in front of him.

At the sight of the three of you piled on one side of the bed, James straightened up, a list of questions on the tip of his tongue. The letter answered each and every single one. “The traitor.” James muttered disappointedly, a hand coming up to soothingly caress your back. Remus shot him a warning look, glancing down at your sobbing figure in his arms. “He better never show his face or I’m going to fucking kill him.” “Sirius, don’t say that!” You cried, pushing Remus away from you and standing up, pacing around the room. “He thinks he’s - he’s fucking saving us.” You spotted the blue jumper he wrote about in his letter and grabbed it, staring at it with resentment. You sped towards James’s window, tossing the sweater out before you cried “I hate him! I fucking - I hate him!” The three boys watched you with teary eyes as you cried over Peter, holding you tightly in their arms until you finally decided you were done grieving.

In a few hours, he was dead to you. His betrayal, despite his good intentions, had gone against everything you stood for, so the next time you saw him on the battlefield, instead of running towards him when you spotted him, you flinched away from him, letting James step in front of you with his wand held up. Peter had looked betrayed, but he wasn’t the Peter you knew. There was no life in his eyes and he sported a terrifying dark mark on his arm. When you realised he wouldn’t harm you, you held James by the arm, tugging him away from your past so that you could find a way to survive this war and live into the future.

taglist: @ravisinghs-wife, @amatoanima, @starry-remus, @pain-in-the-ashe, @hiireadstuff, @superlegend216, @treefairy-28, @superlegend216, @kitkatkl, @rory-cakes

[ahnaiee]

⋆⭒˚.⋆ Star Located!

LISTENER . . . !

⋆｡°✩;; Xavier ⋆｡°✩; Your neighbor is a really good listener. You think you might be falling– juuust a bit.  ⋆｡°✩;; pre-relationship, friends to lovers kind of theme ⋆｡°✩;; dipping my toes into this fandom, so if its a bit ooc, pls bear with me huhu

“So if you really read between the lines of what this character was saying you’d notice that–” This has been your fifth theory about the new character appearing in a favorite game of yours, and this is the fifth time you found yourself actively explaining this theory to none other than Xavier, your quiet, always sleepy upstairs neighbor. 

The silver haired man simply leans on his arms and he watches you as you continue rambling. Your voice increases and decreases in tones and octaves as you speak, hands moving as you do. In your animated talk, you miss the way his eyes soften, the small inkling of a smile on his face as he watches you. 

This isn’t the first time he had to listen to you speak for long periods of time. Hell, it's more of a daily occurrence, with how much you tend to invade his personal space (unintentionally and intentionally) just to speak to him. 

A week ago, after a mission, you rambled his ear off about this cafe you encountered on your way home and just yesterday morning, Xavier was on his way to the Hunters Association, and you met him on the train. Almost right after the usual pleasantries, you launch into an excited talk in your morning. Xavier just nods, his eyes slowly moving from the window, to your figure and he smiles. 

And despite years of dealing with the quietness, Xavier… finds this constant barrage of your voice a pleasing change. 

He watches you speak, the way your eyes crinkle, shine and sparkle as you jump from one theory to another. Your hands wave from the left, then to the right, the warm drink in front of you now cooling from your long you’ve been talking, and Xavier’s smile grows.  Cute.

You furrow your brows midway as you pause, thinking of your next words, before you start speaking again.

“And– Oh! Speaking of, Xav, I was talking to Tara about this one cafe near the Hunter’s Association and she suggested we try their chiffon cake.” As if you weren’t just talking about a character from a game you play a bit too much in Xavier’s opinion, you jump to another topic. But then a sudden realization dawns on your face, and your voice begins to quiet. Slowly, until you stop speaking. 

Xavier lifts his head, tilting it as he stares at you. Eyes focused, only on you, and he speaks, “Why’d you stop?”

“Oh. Oh, I just…” You trail off, and you nervously fiddle with your hands. “I just thought I’m bothering you with my talking. I mean, I’ve been the only one talking for the most part and…”

Xavier just offers a small smile. “Hey. I like listening to you, I’m not… bothered by you at all.” Something in your chest turns warm, and you pause. Oh. Oh, he… isn’t annoyed at you at all. You swallow slightly, then beam. He pauses then tilts his head. “And then what happened to Tara?”

At his question, the feeling in your chest only deepens and the smile on your face widens, and you launch into the story. 

Oh. 

Oh, he listens to you. 

Xavier leans on his palm, again, and he smiles. He would pay just to hear your voice, if he could. That’s something he would admit somewhere down the line but for now… His eyes focus intently on your own, distracted, but excited pair of eyes. 

For now, He’ll just listen.

©ahnaiee [do not repost, copy, translate, or modify]

[dreaminginthedeepsouth]

Matt Wuerker. Politico

* * * *

LETTERS FROM AN AMERICAN

March 11, 2025

Heather Cox Richardson

Mar 12, 2025

The stock market continued to fall today. The Dow Jones Industrial Average fell another 478 points, or 1.14%; the S&P 500 fell almost 0.8%; and the Nasdaq Composite fell almost 0.2%. The S&P 500 briefly held its own in trading today, but then Trump announced on his social media platform that he was going to double the tariffs on steel and aluminum from the new 25% rates to a 50% rate on Canada and might increase tariffs to “permanently shut down the automobile manufacturing business in Canada.”

Stocks fell again.

Unable to admit that he might be wrong, President Donald Trump is doubling down on the policies that are crashing the economy. In addition to his tariff threats, he also reiterated that “the only thing that makes sense is for Canada to become our cherished Fifty First State,” an outrageous position that he suddenly began to advance after the 2024 presidential election and which has Canadians so furious they are boycotting U.S. goods and booing the Star-Spangled Banner.

More than 100 top business leaders met with Trump today to urge him to stop destabilizing what had been a booming economy with his on-again-off-again tariffs. Mark Zandi, chief economist of Moody’s Analytics, told Jeff Stein and Isaac Arnsdorf of the Washington Post that in private, “[b]usiness leaders, CEOs and COOs are nervous, bordering on unnerved, by the policies that are being implemented, how they’re being implemented and what the fallout is. There’s overwhelming uncertainty and increasing discomfort with how policy is being implemented.”

The extreme unpredictability means that no one knows where or how to invest. Market strategist Art Hogan told CNN’s Matt Egan, “This market is just blatantly sick and tired of the back and forth on trade policy.” Yesterday, Delta Air Lines cut its forecasts for its first-quarter revenue and profits by half, a sign of weakening corporate and consumer confidence and concerns about the safety of air travel. Today, Southwest Airlines and United Airlines cut their forecasts, and American Airlines forecast a first-quarter loss.

When he talked to reporters, Trump reasserted that he intends to do what he wants regardless of the business leaders’ input. “Markets are going to go up and they’re going to go down, but you know what, we have to rebuild our country. Long-term what I’m doing is making our country strong again.” White House press secretary Karoline Leavitt advised, “If people are looking for certainty, they should look at the record of this president.”

Not everyone will find that suggestion comforting.

Trump backed off on his threat to raise the tariffs on Canadian steel and aluminum to 50%, but went ahead with his threat to place 25% tariffs on all imported steel and aluminum products. Those tariffs took effect at midnight.

In the face of his own troubles, Trump’s sidekick billionaire Elon Musk is also escalating his destructive behavior. Yesterday Musk’s social media platform X underwent three separate outages that spanned more than six hours. Lily Jamali and Liv McMahon of the BBC reported that Oxford professor Ciaran Martin, former head of the United Kingdom’s National Cyber Security Center, said that the outages appear to have been an attack called a “distributed denial of service,” or DDoS, attack. This is an old technique in which hackers flood a server to prevent authentic users from reaching a website.

"I can't think of a company of the size and standing internationally of X that's fallen over to a DDoS attack for a very long time," Martin said. The outage "doesn't reflect well on their cyber security." Without any evidence, Musk blamed hackers in Ukraine for the outages, an accusation Martin called “pretty much garbage.”

Four days ago, another of Musk’s SpaceX rockets exploded after takeoff, and now SpaceX’s Starlink internet service is facing headwinds. In February, Mexican billionaire Carlos Slim canceled his collaborations with Starlink after growing tensions with Musk culminated with Musk alleging on X that Slim is tied to organized crime. The loss of that deal cost Musk about $7 billion in the short term, but more in the long term as Slim will work with European and Chinese companies in 25 Latin American countries rather than Starlink. Slim has said he would invest $22 billion in those projects over the next three years.

Also in February, after U.S. negotiators threatened to cut Ukraine’s access to the 42,000 Starlink terminals that supply information to the front lines, the European Commission began to look for either government or commercial alternatives. The European Commission is made up of a college of commissioners from each of the 27 European Union countries. It acts as the main executive branch of the European Union.

On Sunday, Musk posted: “[M]y Starlink system is the backbone of the Ukrainian army. Their entire front line would collapse if I turned it off.” Poland pays for about half the Starlink terminals in Ukraine, about $50 million a year. Poland’s minister of foreign affairs, Radosław Sikorski, responded that “if SpaceX proves to be an unreliable provider we will be forced to look for other suppliers.” “Be quiet, small man,” Musk replied. “You pay a tiny fraction of the cost. And there is no substitute for Starlink.”

After all the tariff drama with Canada, last week Ontario also cancelled a deal it had with Starlink.

But perhaps the biggest hit Musk has taken lately is over his Tesla car brand. On February 6, Musk’s younger brother Kimbal, who sits on Tesla’s board, sold more than $27 million worth of shares in the company. Tesla chair Robyn Denholm sold about $43 million worth of Tesla stock in February and recently sold another $33 million. Tesla CFO Vaibhav Taneja has sold $8 million worth over the past 90 days. Yesterday, board member James Murdoch sold just over $13 million worth of stock.

Fred Lambert of Electrek, which follows the news about electric vehicles and Tesla, noted that Tesla stock dropped 15% yesterday, “down more than 50% from its all-time high just a few months ago.” “Tesla insiders are unloading,” he concluded.

Tesla sales are dropping across the globe owing to the unpopularity of Musk’s antics, along with the cuts and data breaches from his “Department of Government Efficiency.” Protesters have been gathering at Tesla dealerships to express their dismay. While the protests have been peaceful, as Chris Isidore of CNN reports, there have also been reports of vandalism. Tesla owners are facing ridicule as protesters take out their anger toward Musk on his customers, and at least one competitor is working to lure consumers away from Musk’s brand by offering a discount to Tesla owners.

Trump has jumped to Musk’s defense, posting just after midnight this morning that “Elon Musk is ‘putting it on the line’ in order to help our Nation, and he is doing a FANTASTIC JOB! But the Radical Left Lunatics, as they often do, are trying to illegally and collusively boycott Tesla, one of the World’s great automakers, and Elon’s ‘baby,’ in order to attack and do harm to Elon, and everything he stands for. They tried to do it to me at the 2024 Presidential Ballot Box, but how did that work out? In any event, I’m going to buy a brand new Tesla tomorrow morning as a show of confidence and support for Elon Musk, a truly great American.”

Indeed, today Trump used the office of the presidency to bolster Musk’s business. Teslas were lined up at the White House, where Trump read from a Tesla sales pitch—photographer Andrew Harnik caught an image of his notes. And then the same man who gave a blanket pardon to those convicted of violent crimes related to the January 6, 2021, attack on the U.S. Capitol called those protesting at Tesla dealerships “domestic terrorists” and promised that the government would make sure they “go through hell.”

Trump and Musk appear to have taken the downturn in their fortunes by becoming more aggressive. Martin Pengelly of The Guardian noted that in the middle of Monday’s stock market plunge, Trump posted or reposted more than 100 messages on his social media channel. All of them showed him in a positive light, including reminders of the 2004 first season of the television show The Apprentice, in which Trump starred: a golden moment in Trump’s past when his ratings were high and the audience seemed to believe he was a brilliant and powerful businessman.

Today, egged on by Musk, Trump pushed again to take over other countries. He told reporters: "When you take away that artificial line that looks like it was done with a ruler…and you look at that beautiful formation of Canada and the United States, there is no place anywhere in the world that looks like that…. And then if you add Greenland…that's pretty good."

The Trump administration also announced today it was cutting about half the employees in the Department of Education. The Senate confirmed Linda McMahon, who has little experience with education, to head the department on March 3 by a party-line vote. Shutting down the department "was the president's mandate—his directive to me," McMahon told Fox News Channel host Laura Ingraham. McMahon assured Ingraham that existing grants and programs would not “fall through the cracks.”

But when Ingraham asked her what IDEA stood for—the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act—she wasn’t sure, although she knew it was “the programs for disabled and needs.” Ingraham knew what the acronym meant but assured McMahon that after 30 years on the job, she still didn’t know all the acronyms. McMahon replied: “This is my fifth day on the job and I’m really trying to learn them very quickly.”

Musk lashed out at Arizona senator Mark Kelly on social media yesterday, after Kelly posted pictures of his recent trip to Ukraine and discussed the history of Russia’s invasion, concluding “it’s important we stand with Ukraine.” Musk responded: “You are a traitor.”

Kelly, who was in the Navy for 25 years and flew 39 combat missions in the Gulf War before becoming an astronaut, responded: “Traitor? Elon, if you don’t understand that defending freedom is a basic tenet of what makes America great and keeps us safe, maybe you should leave it to those of us who do.”

LETTERS FROM AN AMERICAN

HEATHER COX RICHARDSON

[natlovesls2]

You're Lying, Right?

Lando x Fem!Reader x Charles

*ੈ✩‧₊˚warnings: swearing, drinking and mentions of alcohol (might be inaccurate, I don’t drink), format might be weird (this wasn't saving the way I wanted it to),

*ੈ✩‧₊˚word count: 1k

*ੈ✩‧₊˚Summary: Lando and Charles teach you to kiss after you confess that you've never been kissed

.ೃ࿐Request: Idk if you watched the movie Were the Millers?? But can you do imagine where reader never had a first kiss and charles and lando give her her first kiss ?? Like the scene with Jenn Anniston, will poulter, and Emma roberts ???

‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊ ♡ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙·̩̩̥͙*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ♡ ‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊ ♡ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙·̩̩̥͙*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙

The three of you had been drinking for whatever reason, and to be completely honest, you couldn’t exactly remember why the bottles of alcohol had been brought out in the first place. However, you knew the drink in your hand was stronger than the stuff you usually drank, but after the horrible few days you had, it was needed. Its surprisingly sweet smell inviting you to take big gulps. The burn as it passed down your throat numbing the thoughts of your busy life and failed dates. You subconsciously continued to fill your glass with the earthy-fruity liquid, one glass after another– silently watching Charles and Lando interact with one another.

"You're awfully quiet," Lando said from beside you, reaching for your drink to fill it with something new, hesitating when he noticed your slight frown. 

"She had a date yesterday; I can only assume it went horribly," Charles added, moving from his spot to lean against the armrest of the sofa. 

Lando hummed at the newfound information, disapprovingly shaking his head, deciding you had had enough to drink– knowing another glass would not help alleviate whatever pain you felt. “Don't tell me you're attempting to drown your sorrows with liquor. What even happened on this date of yours?"

"The date itself wasn't the worst; it was actually the best I've had in a while– but when the date ended, he expected a kiss. And I know I have to have my first kiss at some point, but I didn't want to disappoint him."

They stared at you for a long time, letting silence settle in the room– you were suddenly aware of the increased warmth. Regret and embarrassment immediately fill your body, urging you to want to vomit up everything you had been drinking. Of course, you had to have the loosest fucking lips known to man when drunk. Actually, you couldn't fully blame the alcohol; the amount you had consumed only slightly gave you a buzzing feeling– enough to feel tipsy. 

“You’re lying, right? I mean, you have to be joking, no?” Lando's small laughter stopped as he noticed your humorless demeanor and sick-looking face– awkwardly clearing his throat, body shifting at Charles's glaring gaze. 

"It's nothing to be embarrassed about. Everyone experiences life differently; it just so happens to be that you haven't had your first kiss," Charles nodded in your direction, still glaring at Lando– urging him to add to what he said, hoping to ease your embarrassment. 

"Yeah, absolutely nothing to be embarrassed about. I mean, some people find that sweet."

"Obviously, my date didn't find it sweet... I'm surprised he didn't laugh in my face. Honestly, it fucking pathetic," you let out a dry laugh, picking at the strings of your ripped jeans. You sighed, looking up in time to notice Lando nudging Charles and nodding in your direction. He mouths something to Lando, which you can't quite make out; you'd never been good at reading lips or people. Lando opened and closed his lips a few times as if having a struggle with himself– unsure if he should say something or let Charles take control of the situation. 

"We could always teach you how to kiss," he finally says, watching your face for any sort of reaction, noticing the way your eyes widen at the nonchalantness of his words. "–only if you want to, of course," he quickly adds, sensing your hesitation and overall embarrassment over the situation. 

You feel the world around you slow down, the noise slowly dissipating– replaced by a low ringing sound you can't quite place. You barely notice yourself nodding, nervously running your hands down the front of your jeans, attempting to get rid of the clammy feeling– which only increased at the soft touch of Lando's hand on your cheek. "It's weird if you keep your eyes open," he whispered, holding back a laugh, not wanting to make you any more embarrassed than you already were. You closed your eyes and swallowed the little saliva you had– an attempt to calm yourself, finding your mouth extremely dry. Your heart quicked at this; what if the kiss was too dry? The desire to vomit returned and your throat tightened itself as a final attempt to hold everything down.

 Lando's hand gently caressed your cheek, trailing down to your jaw, pulling you in closer– his warm breath falling against your skin. His lips hovered over your own for a while before they finally connected in an awkwardly stiff kiss. "It wasn't bad," he reassured you, smiling when he noticed the way your eyes nervously bounced around the room– avoiding his own. "Just relax a bit, don't be too stiff." 

He leaned forward again, soft lips moving against your own; in complete contrast to the first kiss, this one was looser– relaxed and something you could see yourself enjoying despite the foreign feeling. His hand moved up to tangle itself in your hair, his tongue lightly running against your bottom lip. You weren't sure if it was the alcohol that finally reached your senses helping you relax, but whatever it was that possessed you to open your lips was definitely on your side. The sweetness of your past drinks mixed with the bitterness of whatever he had been drinking. "See, I told you you just needed to loosen up." 

"I don't know... I feel like you're only being nice about it."

"I'll tell you the truth; let's see what Lando has taught you– or if he taught you well," Charles says, his voice reminding you that he had been there watching the whole interaction, sitting beside you on the other side of the sofa. 

His warm hand pulls you towards him, connecting his lips against yours in a confident kiss. While Lando's kiss had felt firm and loose– slightly messy, this was a lot more calculated. He pulled you closer, hands moving to gently grip the hair at the nape of your neck. "You can definitely impress your next date."

‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊ ♡ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙·̩̩̥͙*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ♡ ‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊ ♡ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙·̩̩̥͙*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙

[ozzgin]

Got any plans for our 1 Year Anniversary, Ozzgin? 😚

Seriously, I can’t believe it’s been a year (January 3, 2024) since I first popped into your inbox! 🥰

It genuinely feels like yesterday that I was being all cute, shy, and apologetic, before progressing into the unhinged and deranged 👘 anon you know me as today. What a year it’s been! 😘

Sorry I’ve been gone for a while. I know you missed yours truly! You’ve probably been very busy this past month due to the year wrapping up with holidays, and answering the boatloads of asks from other anons. I hope you’ve had a good holiday season and New Year celebration! 🥳

Love you, Ozzgin! Thank you for being part of my life. Cheers to another year of debauchery from your one and only! 💝

-👘

P.S. Thank you for the recent follow-up human adoption post. Very cute. I’m ready to be used as a 2-in-1 emotional and sexual therapy fleshlight by my new monster owner 🍑

I forgot to ask Santa Ozz for a Xmas gift 🥲

Dear 👘 anon, rest assured: I know you'll always come back. You've been a founding parental figure to a lot of the depravity that's happened on this blog. As a matter of fact, I'd say you've had a major contribution to my increasing lack of shame. From "gosh, I don't know if I can write a slutty reader", to "here's the mating press 3000 you ordered".

As a Christmas gift, I offer you this vintage photograph of our partnership in its beginnings. We didn't know how many genitals would await us; we were young and innocent. Partly innocent.

Thank you for matching my freak all this time. ❤

[little-one-eyed-monsters]

Top Form goes TOO meta Part 2: Headliner TH (which represents Boom Raveewit) is officially beefing with Grand Ivory Records (which represents Smart Chisanupong)

Also, it's their AGENCIES, not the actors themselves.

When I said I wanted to be part of the JinAkin fandom, I didn't mean that LITERALLY, dear God what is happening.

Side note: this post isn't meant to spread hate, I love this show and these two actors more than I can express, and I want them to do super duper well. I wrote this retrospective because I find this situation super interesting from a business and industry standpoint. I haven't seen a company more committed to destroying their own talent's success since Attrakt torpedoed the KPop group Fifty-Fifty's reputation three years ago.

Alright, my wonderful friends-- if you haven't seen this on X yet, this whole situation blew up when Grand Ivory Records, the record label managing rights and distribution to Smart Chisanupong's music and performances, released this statement a few days after the airing of Top Form ep. 9:

This is a tricky situation and I initially discussed more about what that means for Smart and Boom here. This previous discussion was written before WeTV's formal statement just yesterday though, so more on that below.

Basically, the gist of Smart's predicament is that even before Top Form The Series was produced, he was already signed to Grand Ivory Records (GIR) as a recording artist; thus, GIR promotes, distributes and licenses all of his songs and musical performances. As a recording company however, GIR was previously uninterested in handling Smart's possible foray into acting (or any of his projects besides music, for that matter). They signed a co-management deal with Headliner TH, who is now responsible for funding and promoting Smart's acting ventures. Now, after the success of the series and Smart's increased bankability as a talent, GIR is fighting to EXCLUSIVELY handle all of Smart's projects-- music or otherwise-- moving forward.

Usually, companies loan out their talents to other agencies as a way to save money on promotions and project deals, especially for artists who they find difficult to market (as evidenced by how little GIR has marketed Smart in the past four years he's been signed to their label). Their artist still has to pay them a cut of the royalties for any projects, but they don't have to spend money to actively find new projects or promote their talents because the co-agency is doing it for them.

For example, THIS was the extent of the promos done by GIR to market Smart's new series Top Form: retweeting posts from the official social media pages:

Meanwhile, Headliner underwent a respectable marketing campaign for Top Form, activating both their modeling agency Image Future, and their new prod house Tai Lai to generate buzz for the project. Headliner launched a SmartBoom vlog series on their Youtube channel. Image Future secured separate modeling gigs for Smart and Boom for different clothing brands and product tie-ins, and Tai Lai is currently selling an official photobook for the ship:

Headliner even organized a pre-airing fanmeet for all the fans of the original manga in both Thailand and Japan:

And WeTV even went one step further and featured Smart and Boom as guests in Chuang Asia season 2, the most watched idol survival show in Asia (and the no. 1 reality show in China). This drew in a truly MASSIVE Chinese fanbase for SmartBoom:

But of course, it would be a disservice to the cast and crew to say that the success of Top Form is solely attributed to its marketing. WeTV is primarily based in China, and was only known to Thai audiences as an international distributor and licensee of Asian shows. It only recently ventured into original programming, so its foothold on Thai audiences is tenuous at best. Top Form's marketing campaign is only a fraction of what GMMTV or Mandee does to promote their shows, and Headliner hasn't really launched many successful ships (or shows) in Thailand since their inception. Top Form, and SmartBoom, was the exception:

Needless to say, GIR wanted a bigger cut of the profits.

For each project performed by Smart for the press tour of Top Form, and the series' tie-ins, GIR gets a small cut of the profits due to their co-partnership deal with Headliner. This is probably a miniscule cut though, and looking at his potential now, they are adamant to keep Smart on their roster. Why else would they be stirring up trouble even before the series has finished airing yet? RUDE.

Yes Jade, they did.

From my very amateur internet sleuthing of pages, forums and past interviews (and if anyone wants to correct me, I am more than happy to be corrected), Smart first signed to Yoma Entertainment with the intention to debut as an idol. When he and his group was placed in limbo (a common occurence for these record labels), he jumped ship and tried to join MeMindY (then a very new company, with only TharnType 2 under its roster). When he and acting partner James were informed that their promised series would be placed on filming hiatus, Smart decided to sign with GIR in late 2021.

This means that Smart has been with GIR for almost four years, with barely anything to show for it. No album, no concerts, no group to speak of. Endless hours of training and serving as support talent for other projects, before GIR gave up and loaned Smart to a relatively new acting agency (Headliner) for a project produced by an unknown house (Tai Lai), all under WeTV-- a foreign company that barely understands Thai popular culture. Now that Smart is bankable, GIR is salivating at the thought of managing all of his (now profitable) projects, including acting.

This of course, pissed Tai Lai and Headliner to all HECK:

Tai Lai posted this a few hours after GIR's announcement, seemingly disputing their claim that the dissolution of the co-partnership was mutual. They also sadly implied that this new arrangement is causing turmoil for the cast and crew. The X meltdown went from bad to worse when Top Form's Director Boss Wasa posted a goodbye message to Top Form on his IG story, despite the confirmation of WeTV's CEO that the series was originally slated for a three-season run.

And of course, everything came to a head this morning when WeTV (and all the other subsidiaries) CLEARLY DISPUTED the claim that the co-partnership has dissolved, and that GIR now retains sole representation rights to Smart.

They also emphasized the resources they've dedicated to ensuring the success of the ship, and that they're willing to fight to retain representation rights for both Smart and Boom.

Jake $ing's "I'm Still In Love With You" plays in the distanc-- oh wait, this is real life? Bummer.

So... has this impacted the fandom in any way?

Well first off, the Chinese fandom is unbelievably MAD at GIR at the moment:

There's only one fandom in this world I respect and fear an unhealthy amount, and that's the Chinese fandom. They have the numbers AND the spending power to cause significant damage to any entity of their choosing (where else would you find a fandom capable of buying out a whole collection of Louis Vuitton suitcases in 24 hours?). I've seen them turn nobodies into sensations overnight, and banish well-respected veterans that do not pass their standards.

The Chinese fandom was able to stage an active boycott in less than a day. It got so bad that GIR had to release a separate stament to assure fans that Smart and Boom would continue their projects as a pair, albeit with some management restrictions. The founder and CEO of GIR also posted this on her private IG :

Hinting that the troubles between these companies run deep. The Chinese fandom says on X that without a joint announcement from all companies clearing the air, they refuse to support any GIR products, and will only focus on supporting Smart during his Headliner promos.

Has this affected Smart and Boom's dynamic at all?

The short answer is seemingly NO. Unless both Smart and Boom are that good at acting (which they are, oh no wrong supposition 😅), they're still very funny and charming in interviews, and affectionate with one another as with the rest of the cast.

If there is trouble behind the scenes, at least there's the guarantee that Smart doesn't have anything to with all this kerfuffle. Smart is the first of the cast to always bring up the possibility of a second season, and seems very proud of the series and his ship with Boom.

Anyway, here's the saga so far. I stand with WeTV, but I have to admit, I am getting worried about the whole affair. I hope it blows over soon.

We'll see.

Now WeTV, shoot that season 2 already for pete's sake! Or that cop/vampire drama. Y'all so slow GMMTV might catch wind of the issues and grab your talents from under your noses.