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ateezmakemeweep · 4 years ago

Text

playing with fire (part 2)

word count: 32k

angst, fluff, smut (warning: age gap, infidelity, roommate’s father)

(part 1) (series masterlist)

you walked into the coffee shop downtown right at 4 pm., your eyes scanning the nearly empty building for the familiar head of dark hair.

and that’s when you saw him in the corner, typing away on his laptop with a quirked eyebrow, cup of coffee next to him and his black tie loosely hung in his shirt.

he looked exhausted and stressed but so utterly sexy, you could’ve died right then and there - had you not been an anxious, confused, nervous wreck upon concluding park seonghwa was the one who dropped $10,000 on you.

it took you about a week to build up the courage to finally get to the bottom of it, wracking your brain for any and every possibility of who would’ve paid a college tuition with no qualms.

you knew it certainly wasn’t your parents or the school, both of those options being people who, at the end of the day, didn’t care about you.

it wasn’t any outside family or the aunts and uncles you were close with, barely having enough money to support their own children’s education.

and it certainly wasn’t eunbi, because as invasive and insane as she is, she would’ve never done that without your permission - but would her father have? would he really drop that kind of money on you, even if it was just chump change to him?

“our graduation party is gonna be ah-mazing!” eunbi celebrated on the first day of classes, the two of you getting ready for your separate 9 am classes together.

“we should honestly start planning it now! the venue, the guest list, the food. oh em gee or we could go away! would you wanna go somewhere crazy and fun? like a destination wedding but a destination graduation party! ooh what about-”

you couldn’t even pay attention to your roommate blabbering on and on about countries you’d never heard of or venues you couldn’t afford, your mind constantly wondering why the hell mr. park would’ve done this for you.

it wasn’t even like a part of you was upset or angry, it was all just very... shocking. and slightly embarrassing; you would’ve never asked or expected anyone to pay for your education, so why the hell did he do it so secretly?

did he think you were gonna say no? because he’s absolutely right, you would’ve said no.

it was on the 4th day of classes that you knew you needed to get an answer from him - both because your mind wouldn’t stop and eunbi was getting suspicious of your withdrawn, occupied demeanor.

so while your roommate took a long shower after her thursday night kick boxing class, you were the ultimate snoop.

went through her phone to get her father’s number and quickly saved it under mr. park, staring at the contact name before, finally, after a few more days, you had the balls to call him.

you made sure to wait until eunbi’s double class, alone in the apartment until early afternoon, to call him. hold your breath as you press the call button and feel nervous jitters all throughout your body.

he answered after a few rings, his deep “hello?” nearly causing you to hang up.

“hello?” he repeats, silence on the other end of the phone with an unsaved number.

you let out a shaky exhale, your stuttered “h-hi mr. park, it’s y/n. eunbi’s roommate,” sounded nervous and awkward even to your own ears.

his chuckle on the other end was deep and melodic, just the familiar but distant sound of it causing butterflies to erupt in your stomach - is it crazy to think that you’ve missed it?

“of course i know who you are, y/n,” he says, the ghost of a smile lighting up in his face. “i wasn’t aware you had my number.”

you bite down on your lip at the slight teasing in his voice, able to just picture the shit eating smirk on his face.

“i got it from eunbi,” you say, since it’s technically not a lie. “because... i... i wanted to ask you something kind of weird,” you breathe out, feeling panic and discomfort heighten throughout your body.

you really didn’t think this through despite the way it’s been on your mind for days - it’s gonna be horribly embarrassing if he wasn’t the one.

“i don’t know why you would do this but there is literally no one else i could think who would and i just need to-”

“yes. i paid your tuition.”

breath catches in the back of your throat as your suspicions are proven true, a few moments of silence between you two as your thoughts race.

you wondering why he did; if maybe, perhaps, eunbi did ask him and he was just making his daughter happy - but if that wasn’t the case, then that means he wanted to do it for you.

he’s wondering if you’re gonna be furious or creeped out or a mixture of both, tell him how inappropriate and overstepping that is of a man she doesn’t know that well to be paying that sort of money.

“y/n?” he hums when he can’t take the silence anymore, your tongue peeking out to wipe at your dry lips. “you there?”

“y-yes, mr. park i’m just... a little shocked. and surprised. why... why did you-?”

“are you available to meet with me sometime this week?”

and that’s how you ended up here, watching him with curious eyes and a building hunger that seems to happen in his presence.

as if he can feel your gaze on him, staring dumbly and blankly in the middle of the coffee shop, he looks up and immediately finds you. sends a small smile your way as he stands and gestures for you to come over.

your foot steps are slow and meticulous, far too dramatic of a girl who watched this man jerk off or pictured him fucking you over his office desk. but you can’t stop the pounding in your chest, throat tightening and knees wobbling once you finally make your way to the table.

thank god this place is empty, you can only imagine how sketchy this looks - or maybe that’s just you projecting your own feelings about the situation.

“hi, mr park,” you say quietly, voice barely above a whisper as he pulls out a chair for you.

“hi, y/n,” he remarks back, waiting expectantly for you to take a seat.

it takes you a few moments the same way he did when he opened the car door for you, your eyes roaming him before you plop down with a quiet “thank you.”

he smiles softly, admiring your pretty face and pastel sweater. the color against your smooth skin and hair, he can’t help but look a few seconds too long.

he takes his seat across from you with the confidence you just don’t have in this moment, the two of you in a silent stare off before you both begin to speak.

“i wanted to-”

“so you’re probably wondering-”

both of you stop talking, a smirk on his lips and a blush on your cheeks as you shake your head.

“you first.”

“no, go on,” seonghwa mumbles, looking at the empty space in front of you before his eyebrows pull together. “do you want anything? some coffee maybe?”

“oh, no thank you, i’m good,” you mutter, a nervous smile on your face before you meet his gaze.

dark eyes watching you and his business attire making your heart squeeze in your chest; his lips are pulled into the smallest of smiles, it’s like he knows you’re about to pass out before him.

“i just wanted to thank you mr. park, really, there was no reason for you to pay for me. i... i actually don’t know why you did, if i’m being completely honest, but i’m really grateful,” you ramble, your eyes flicking from him to the wall behind him to the photos across the small, homey coffee shop.

“i promise i’ll pay it back to you. i’ll get a job during the semester and save up. i swear that i’m gonna-”

“i don’t want you to pay me back. it’s not necessary.”

you bite the inside of your cheek, assuming the moment you figured out he did this that he was gonna say that. but it doesn’t feel right to you, it doesn’t feel right to skirt by scott free while someone else spends their hard earned money on you.

“mr. park, i can’t allow you to do that. please, at least let me pay you back-”

“call me seonghwa.”

you look up from your tangled hands, your heart nearly beating out of your chest as you see his eyes on you. watching you so carefully, with such a soft, glinted look on his face, you really don’t know how to respond besides saying

“what?”

a smirk pulls at his lips, long fingers catching his coffee cup as he brings it to his lips. he doesn’t break eye contact as he sips from the plastic, licking the excess off his lips and causing your heart to jump.

mr par- seonghwa, is out to kill you.

“i think we’re past of the point of the mr. park formality, don’t you think?” he asks with a smirk. “unless you don’t feel comfortable.”

“n-no, it’s fine mr. par- seonghwa,” you say, a bright, handsome smile pulling at his lips at your response. “i’m just not used to it.”

he nods as silence overcomes you both, your eyes still questioning and unsure - he knows you probably have a ton more questions.

he was surprised that he didn’t either when he first contemplated this.

how he so simply just made the decision the night he heard your scholarship was at stake, right there in his kitchen when you guys had your last moment alone together.

“eunbi and my wife don’t know i paid it,” he says honestly, not wanting to start out your relationship (if there comes to be any) on a lie; because even if nothing comes of this, if the past month was just sneaky flirting and some excitement in his boring life, it won’t matter.

you’re still a good friend to his daughter and someone who deserves to continue their education.

“would they be mad?” you can’t help but ask, your stomach sinking at the thought of you creating a strain between eunbi and her father. “i... wouldn’t want this to get you in trouble.”

“i can’t get in trouble, y/n,” he smiles, cocking his head to the side as he sits back in his chair - it gives you a perfect view of his broad shoulders and thin torso, totally not something you need in this serious conversation.

“it’s my money and i’ll do whatever i want with it. my daughter nor my wife get a say, although i cant imagine eunbi would be mad. i’m surprised she didn’t ask to be honest with you.”

“she probably knew i would’ve never accepted.”

his eyebrow quirks and you immediately flush, feeling as if the outburst was rude and ungrateful - but it’s just the honest truth. you would’ve never accepted this if he or eunbi asked.

“i kind of figured that too, which is why i went ahead and just did it. pardon me for that, y/n, i’m sorry again if i overstepped.”

you shake your head immediately, rambling out that you’re more grateful than anything, just surprised and feeling slightly guilty.

“i also just... i don’t see what you gain from this?” you confess, confusion evident in your soft, quiet tone. “that was a lot of money, seonghwa.”

he can’t help the feeling that rises in him hearing you call him seonghwa with ease, never thinking anything would get him more riled up than mr park.

but it just flowed off your tongue with such ease, your voice all kinds of soft and alluring, he wants to hear it over and over again. particularly with you under him and naked.

“you’re eunbi’s best friend, y/n, and you’ve been there for her since you girls started together,” he begins, one of the many truthful reasons he decided to go through with this.

“it would’ve been such a shame for you to take off before your last semester. what if there was a problem with internships? or you couldn’t get the money or find a job in time?” he asks, circumstances that were certainly possible in this economy.

“now you can just finish all the way through, with no breaks, and have that combined graduation party, so, really, everyone wins. i don’t have to sue the college per eunbi’s request, she has her friend and you’ll have your degree in a few months.”

a giggle leaves your mouth as some of your nervousness and unease is lifted, cocking your head to the side as you look at him.

you knew this man was nice, probably the nicest man you’ve ever encountered in your life, but this is gonna prove to be detrimental to your mental state.

his looks, his kindness and the way you swear moments between you two were so real and reciprocated.

“i can’t thank you enough, seonghwa, i really can’t,” you say, finally feeling some relief flood throughout your body. “and... it’ll stay between us. i told eunbi the department got my scholarship to go through.”

“see, i knew you were a smart girl,” he remarks, his voice dropped and lips quirked into a smirk. “you got all the classes you need?”

you nod dumbly, unsure if you’d be able to speak after his first comment of praise. it brought a visible flush to your cheeks, his desire to reach out and cup your warm skin far too strong.

“good. then work hard, y/n. i know you’ll be able to do it.”

it’s all the praise and reassurance you never got from anyone in your life, not being able to help the foreign feeling in your chest of wanting to make someone proud.

“thank you, seonghwa,” you smile, feeling warm and flushed but not caring in this moment.

“of course, y/n,” he responds, his eyes latched onto you so intensely, it’s like he forgot, for a split second, you two are in public.

because if any nosy bystanders thought at first that this was some sort of business meeting or professional lunch, it can clearly been seen now that it’s not.

not with the way he’s looking at you or the smile you’re giving him.

not with the way both your feet are bumping and toying at each other unknowingly, a juvenile game of footsie two adults don’t even realize is happening.

and certainly not with your last parting comments, a coy look coming over you once all your reservations and guilt are gone. leaning in closer and asking him if he’s sure there’s no way you can repay him.

“even if i give you half the money or a quarter of it,” you say with a pout, “just something.”

“i told you it’s not necessary, y/n,” he hums lowly, his voice dropped as he, too, allows himself to place his elbows on the table and lean in.

“there must be something i can do, seonghwa. it doesn’t feel completely right taking and not... giving anything.”

and that right there was the sentence that sealed his fate with you, made him positive that, even though it was wrong and forbidden, he wanted you in every single way.

he wanted you under him and beside him and to give you the life you never had, even if you’re currently rejecting it so vehemently.

“i’m sure i can think of something, y/n. let’s just... be patient and see, yeah?” he hums, your eyes widening and heart pounding as a handsome, devilish smirk crosses his face.

“maybe something will come up.”

there was no way to predict that, just a month later, you’d be seeing seonghwa again.

you just knew the moment you strolled in from your friday afternoon class, excited to fall into bed and binge watch reality tv, that eunbi was out to cause chaos.

and in turn, that would end up fucking you over completely.

“oh no, no, no. absolutely not, no!” she squeals when she sees you laying down, her voice high and piercing, you’re surprised the windows didn’t shatter.

“we’re going out tonight and getting shit faced! jiwoon and co are meeting us so get up and get ready, bitch.”

“eunbi, i really do not feel like-”

“la la la la la la la,” the girl responds immaturely, her hands over her ears as she charges out of your room and toward the bathroom to shower.

“don’t use all the hot water!” you yell after her, letting out a sigh as you drag yourself out of bed.

it takes you all of fifteen minutes to put an outfit together, tight jeans you know make your waist look thinner and ass look bigger, a long-sleeved top that accentuates your cleavage to the most severe degree and high black boots that eunbi gifted you for your birthday last year.

dressing up makes the undesirable prospect of going out less trying, modeling your outfit in the mirror before eunbi bursts in with a towel wrapped around her body.

“can i borrow that shirt you wore to-” the words halt the moment she sees you, eyes raking your body before they land on your boots. an excited squeal leaves her mouth when she sees you wearing your gift, never having seen you in them before.

“okay hot girl, i see you. your silly little shy girl act,” she says, opening your closet like she owns the place.

“you wanna go out looking like that to break hearts and practice those grinding skills. and danny’s coming, as you know, this is gonna be so good.”

“i’m still not interested in danny,” you hum lowly, even more so now that seonghwa is confirmed some of your most intense, deeply fulfilling thoughts.

it felt sick to you that you actually missed him, yearned to see him and talk to him more and feel the buzzing sexual tension that makes you warm to the touch and your underwear to grow wet.

you gotta watch your alcohol intake tonight, for if you get too shit faced, you might just confess to eunbi how much you like and wanna bang her father.

“i know you’re not, i know you’re not, don’t worry,” eunbi says, snatching the pink shirt from your closet with a content smile.

“it’ll just be fun for you to... flirt shamelessly. maybe just go home with him for the fun of it. have him tuck you in and maybe place a goodnight kiss on your-

“shut your mouth,” you interrupt with a snort, watching her run off with a melodic giggle as you push down your feelings of guilt.

luckily though, a few hours into the night, with the more shots you do and drinks you have, that guilt dissipates.

there’s a still a lingering feeling in your mind that your little... thing with seonghwa isn’t right. that you’re not only betraying eunbi but having these thoughts and moments with a married man.

but your own selfish feelings take over when the alcohol hits.

your own desires and wants and needs and the very fact that, if you and seonghwa are sharing these mutual feelings, who’s to stop either of you?

mrs. park seems to have her very own life with no regard for her husband, who is she to butt into seonghwa’s life and make him even more miserable?

“i-if you give me one more shot bi, i’m gonna vomit all over the place.”

“you can vomit on danny, i-i bet he’d shit his pants to have any of your fluids on him. even vomit.”

“oh, my god eunbi,” the man grumbles, looking to jiwoon who’s suppressing a shit eating smirk. “control your woman.”

“you’re just mad she’s exposing you.”

“i don’t want y/n to puke on me!”

you can’t help but chuckle, looking to danny who throws you an embarrassed, soft smile.

“its okay. i know you don’t. and i def-definitely won’t,” you hiccup, the apprehensive look he throws you making it seem like he totally thinks you’re about to vomit on him.

eunbi grabs you by your hand when your song comes on, whitney houston blaring through the bar speakers. your arms are flailing and hips are moving, completely uncoordinated and embarrassing but the two of you too drunk to care.

it was the fun you didn’t know you needed, swamped by your last semester classes and prospects of finding a job in just a few short months; you know the time is gonna come fast, leave you slightly panicking as you realize you and eunbi will have to move out of your apartment.

go your separate ways as she moves in with jiwoon to an area you certainly won’t be able to afford, so you couldn’t even be neighbors if you wanted to.

but maybe you could save up enough money to travel with her. build up your portfolio as seonghwa suggested and maybe try to offer your services abroad for any destination weddings.

for now, though, you’re just gonna dance and drink and go to bed with your thoughts of seonghwa. wonder about the next time you can see him and slightly wish that anything would happen between the both of you.

you and eunbi don’t stop until you’re dripping sweat and parched, sauntering back over to the bar where the boys are drinking and talking loudly.

it’s not hard to miss the interactions between jiwoon and eunbi, her body curled into his as he mumbles in her ear and she giggles against him.

he wipes at the sweaty strands sticking to her hair, such a public display of soft, genuine affection that makes your heart pull in your chest.

“i... i think i’m gonna go to his place tonight,” she mumbled to you a few moments later, a frown on her face as she looks up at you. “is that good? will you be okay home alone? i’m gonna call you an uber.”

“of course i will eunbi, don’t be silly,” you chuckle, “and i can call my own uber, don’t you dare.”

she narrows her eyes at you but puts her phone away, telling you to text her the moment you get home.

you see her and jiwoon off when everyone’s done with their drinks, you, danny and the other friends lingering outside as you make small talk; it’s a shame you’re so infatuated with an older man - as far as nice guys go, danny is definitely one of them.

because once their uber got there, leaving you alone outside the crowded bar, he adamantly refused to leave. told you he would wait for your car to get here and call a new one for himself.

“don’t be ridiculous, that-that’s so wasteful, danny. it’s already here, just go!” you pull out your phone and show him the app, indicating that your driver is only twelve minutes away.

he was reluctant in leaving but eventually agreed, only because you all but pushed him inside the uber.

you watched the car drive off with a soft smile, not at all feeling unsafe given the dozens of people outside and two giant bouncers - you felt unsafe with your thoughts though, the way your mind continued to linger on seonghwa in your drunken state.

how handsome he is, how kind he is, how grateful you are to him that he paid your tuition. everything about him just makes you like him more and more, it’s like you lose all sense when you think of him.

and, given your drunken state, that’s incredibly dangerous - because you have not a single qualm as you scroll through your contacts and find his name, pressing the call button despite it being almost two in the morning.

you don’t know if you were more shocked that you did it with ease, hearing the ringing in your ear, or the fact that, a few seconds later, his deep “hello?” is right in your ear.

“oh-oh my god, you answered!”

you certainly didn’t plan for this.

his low chuckle already causes the butterflies to erupt, biting down on your lip as you hear his low voice speak to you.

“of course i answered. it’s you, isn’t it?”

his flirty tone renders even your drunken, bold self clueless, mouth open with the hopes to say something but falling incredibly flat; it’s silent for about twenty seconds before he speaks again, a smirk permanently glued to his face.

“but is there a certain reason you called, y/n? it’s pretty late, you know. i’m an old man. i need my sleep.”

“you are not old,” you whine immediately, the sound of it causing another deep chuckle to leave him. “you... don’t even look old, you know.”

“oh no?”

“no. you’re hot. which is kind of crazy because you’re eunbi’s dad but like... you’re hotter than college guys. a total dilf! and you’re so nice too, mr par... seonghwa. sorry, you want me to call you seonghwa. you- you even paid for my tuition!”

“i did,” he smiles, forgetting the work at his desk as he sits back in his office chair. “how’s that going for you, miss y/n?”

your stomach flutters at the sound of his voice, a smile pulling at your lips.

“it’s... it’s really good, thanks to you. i still wanna make it up to you, you know.”

he’s not ignorant to the slur in your voice or the way you’re incredibly shit faced and brazen right now, licking over his lips as he does something he probably shouldn’t but definitely won’t regret.

“maybe you can,” he hums, looking down at his ringless fingers. “how ‘bout you tell me where you are right now? are you alone?”

“i... yes,” you mumble, excitement buzzing your veins at the thought of seeing him again. “eunbi is staying at jiwoon’s tonight. i’m waiting for my u-uber.”

“cancel it and send me your location.”

your breath catches in your throat, your heart starting to race as you feel yourself getting more and more excited. it’s a nervous kind of excited but excited nonetheless, hoping and praying your drunken self acts right.

“did you hear me?”

your heart jumps at the tone of his voice, just being able to hear his smile on the other side of the phone.

“i.. yes, mr. park. i’ll do that right away.”

he lets out a low growl that causes your stomach to swoop, biting back a little whine that would be entirely inappropriate for this public setting.

“good girl. i’ll see you in a little bit.”

it’s the good girl that almost makes your wobbly knees cave in on you, scrambling to send him your correct location. he responds with a curt “be there in twenty,” not having the capability to wonder how he’s gonna get here so fast.

but that doesn’t matter to you in the slightest, rushing back into the bar bathroom to fix your hair and check your makeup. your eyeliner’s slightly runny but it’s nothing a tissue doesn’t fix, deeming yourself appropriate enough before waiting back outside.

there’s a chill in the air but the alcohol coursing through your body doesn’t make it so bad, completely unaware to just how freezing your hands are.

you see a familiar black mercedes pull up in front of you, breath catching in your throat when none other than park seonghwa comes out and walks around the front.

he smiles upon seeing you, opening your door and telling you to get in.

you can feel all the nosy, curious eyes on you, the guys checking out his car while women check out him. but you stumble in without a care in the world, thanking him playfully before plopping down onto the seat.

the car is warm and smells like him, watching from the windshield as he walks around the car.

he’s dressed in his work clothes and a black peacoat, looking as every bit as sophisticated and mature the way you know he is - just looking like a man, really, something you were utterly robbed of tonight.

“hi.”

he smiles as he pulls into the road, the address to your apartment already in the gps as he makes his way over.

“how was your night?” he asks, looking over your flushed face before zoning in on your cold, red hands. “y/n, your hands. why didn’t you wear a heavier jacket?”

“because i looked hot in this shirt,” you answer honestly, blaming eunbi for hyping you up about 400 times before you left.

he lets out a soft chuckle, his eyes roaming your chest and torso as he can’t help but notice your cleavage. can’t argue there, he thinks in his head, a smirk pulling at his lips as he looks to the road.

“oh yeah?”

“y-yeah. why? you don’t think?”

he bites the inside of his cheek as he continues to drive, feeling your wide-eyed stare on his face. he can’t even think about looking at you right now, not trusting himself or you in this moment.

“you don’t wanna know what i think,” he mumbles, his one hand on the wheel while the other toys with the heat controls. “put your hands by the vent.”

you oblige without hesitation, a content hum leaving your mouth as you realize just how freezing you are. the vents warm your whole body, bones relaxing and temperature rising, when it hits you just how exhausted you are.

alcohol and a night of drinking always makes you tired on top of the fact you woke up early for your classes today.

“i’m tired,” you whine to seonghwa, the tone in your voice one he’s never heard from you before.

he can’t help but enjoy it, seeing this new side to you as he looks over you with a smirk.

“i know you are,” he says, doing everything in his power not to let out a chuckle. “that’s why i’m bringing you home.”

“thank you, seonghwa,” you mumble, leaning your head on the dashboard as your eyes grow heavy.

he can hear your soft breathing as you stay hunched over on his dashboard, making sure to break lightly and make steady, slow turns so you don’t topple over.

the beeping of your seatbelt being off is about to drive him insane but he doesn’t wanna wake you, knowing there’s only a few more minutes until he’ll be at your apartment and need to wake you up again.

he doesn’t know if your flirtiness or cute tiredness is worse for him in this moment, both of them making him wanna pull you into him and do things he shouldn’t even be considering.

but he supposes it’s too late now, pulling into the parking lot of your apartment and turning off his car. he takes a few seconds to look over your sleeping form, your head craned uncomfortably on the dashboard.

his hand reaches out to run through your hair gently, eyes fluttering and a tiny, tired moan leaving your mouth.

“y/n...” he says softly, lips quirking when you continue to stir on the warm, hard surface. “we’re home.”

he doesn’t miss the way his heart twinges, something that feels delusional and wrong as he pictures this being a constant in his life.

seeing you more and helping you in these moments.

ushering you into a safe space and making sure he puts you to bed himself. being able to look at you alone, where there are no prying, judging eyes or family members to be caught by.

“what?” you whine tiredly, your eyes popping open to see seonghwa staring at you.

“hi,” he smiles, his face alone causing your drunken body to buzz happily; you don’t even feel the blush creeping on your face nor the way your tired, sleepy face lights up.

“seonghwa,” you squeak excitedly, perking up the slightest bit as you look over at him.

“did you forget i was here?” he chuckles, “you were only sleeping for five minutes.”

“i know but i’m soooo tired, mr. park,” you whine, warm and cozy in his extremely comfortable car; you think you could peacefully sleep here many nights, if he’d allow it.

“your car is super comfy, you know. it’s prob-probably more comfy than my bed.”

“i doubt that.”

“you wanna find out?” you giggle flirtily, throwing him a playful, uncharacteristic wink before ripping open your door and stumbling out.

he’s quick in his movements to turn off the car and open his door, following you before you can brave the flight of stairs and risk cracking your head open.

even in your tipsy state, probably even more so due to it, your heart reacts when you feel his hand grab your wrist. firm but gentle as he pulls you into him, your back against his towering front as you begin to feel warm in the cold febuary weather.

“you gotta wait for me,” he mumbles, his lips brushing the tip of your ear. he can’t help the way his other hand lingers on your hip, his cold hand on the warm skin of your stomach like electric.

“we don’t want you getting hurt, do we?”

you bite down on your lip as his breath fans against your ear, dipping your head back so it rests on his broad chest. the slightest part of you wants to let out a little whine, finally back and comfortable in his embrace after not feeling him against you for so long.

“n-no we don’t, mr. park,” you hiccup, hoping to maybe just feel his groin harden against your ass again; the whine escapes your lips without your knowledge now as you reminisce, all the secret and forbidden moments you two shared back at his house during winter break flooding back with a vengence.

“remember when you did this in your backyard?” you mumble, your head dipped back just enough for him to see you roll your lower lip into your mouth. “that’s... that’s what we-we both knew. i felt it.”

he swears he’s about to fold right there, push you against the concrete wall and take you right there against it. hard and fast and dirty, in public for security cameras to see.

but there’s a lot of reasons he shouldn’t do that, the first being you’re intoxicated and probably couldn’t stand straight, for if your body wasn’t completely pressed up and melted against him.

he thinks he can get away with playing though, matching your flirtiness and teasing and hoping that, tomorrow, you just don’t remember how into this he really was.

“oh yeah, what’d we both know?” he mumbles, the smirk on his face hidden in your hair. “please enlighten me, y/n.”

he’s not prepared for when you turn around and look him in the face, standing there all glossy-eyed and pink cheeked, a coy smile on your face as he look up at him with all the lust and desire in the world.

“your cock, mr park,” you whisper, a bright, teasing smile lighting up your face.

your tongue clicks off the roof of your mouth when you press your teeth down on your lip, his pants tightening the same way they always do when he sees you.

“i felt your cock, because you pushed it against me,” you hum, finger trailing up and down his white shirt teasingly.

“i t-thought it was in my head, that you wanted me back, you know. but i r-really think you do. either that, or i’m truly fucking crazy.”

“you’re not crazy,” is all he can assure right now - because all his other thoughts, everything else he wants to say is extremely x-rated and it’s not the time or place.

even in your drunken state, he sees recognition cross your face. your eyes widening and smile faltering, like all your innermost beliefs and feelings are officially confirmed in front of your very eyes.

“does.... does that mean...?” you begin to ask, but he only puts a finger to your mouth, the actual touch of his skin on your lips causing your stomach to swoop dangerously.

“let’s get you to bed.”

and what seonghwa says, goes.

he ushers you up to your apartment carefully, sending you off to your room to change into pajamas while he gets you water. he rummages through the cabinets until he finds glasses and advil for tomorrow morning, setting it up on a little tray before standing outside your door.

a familiar feeling of protectiveness and fear runs through him when you don’t respond to him calling your name, peeking inside to see your room empty but clothes in a ball.

he can’t help but smirk as he makes his way inside, placing down your water and folding your clothes over your desk chair.

your room is clean apart from the disaster of clothes littering your desk, everything in it’s place but still feeling homey and sweet. nothing looks too expensive or like it should belong in a showroom, one of the few things that he doesn’t like about his own lifestyle.

how nothing ever looks lived in. how it doesn’t seem like memories were made there, because everything’s spotless and clean and new.

but he can see it all over your room.

small things that must have personal value because it’d be junk otherwise. sentimental things you keep close to your bedside or on the shelves above your desk.

even the little statue on your tv shelf, that he faintly remembers seeing in the streets of-

a loud crash causes him to jump immediately, rushing down the hall and into the bathroom to see you sat there on the toilet seat with a brush tangled in your hair.

he has to fight back the smile threatening to form on his lips, leaning his head against the doorway as you look at him with half guilt and half annoyance.

“what happened here?”

“i couldn’t find it because eunbi didn’t put it back in the right drawer,” you whine tiredly, “and then she left the straightener on the floor and i tripped.”

he nods his head as he makes his way over to you, taking the brush gently from your hair and smoothing down the pieces with his fingers. you watch as his eyes roam over your face, seeing so much of him up close that you can conclude, yet again, this man doesn’t have single a wrinkle or flaw.

“you’re handsome.”

he’s almost embarrassed by the way his heart flutters in his chest like a lovesick middle schooler, letting out an awkward chuckle as he feels a foreign blush makes its way on his face.

he can’t remember the last time someone outright complimented him like that, with a softness in their eyes and genuineness in their voice.

“thank you, y/n,” he chuckles out softly, keeping his hand on your knee so you don’t try and get up. he uses the other to rummage under the sink, pulling out a bottle of water he’s seen eunbi use to wipe off makeup in the morning.

“what are you doing?” you ask him quietly, before a playful smirk crosses your face. “the condoms aren’t in there, silly.”

his loud chuckle causes you to giggle, even more so when he shoots a chastising look your way.

he doesn’t say anything as he dabs a cotton pad with makeup remover, staying kneeled between your legs as he tells you to close your eyes.

he wipes off your face with gentle, delicate strokes, removing all your eye makeup before moving down to your pink, glossy lips. you stick your tongue out in disgust when the wetness is over your mouth, thrashing slightly in his hold before his deep voice mumbles, “relax.”

you would’ve rolled your eyes if you weren’t slumping back tiredly, watching him throw the dirty pads in the garbage.

he looks to see you watching him with half opened eyes, softly smiling as he gently helps you up. you let out a tired moan as you move yourself into him, muttering unintelligible words on your way to your room.

he pulls back your comforter just as you plop in, letting out a content sigh as you roll on your side and bury yourself under the cold covers. the smile never leaves his face as he tucks you in further, long fingers moving your hair behind your ears before you peek up at him.

“th-thank you for getting me home, seonghwa,” you thank quietly, “a-and paying my tuition. i’m gonna pay you back somehow, i swear.”

he bits down on his lip so he doesn’t laugh, simply nodding his head as he mutters a quiet “you’re welcome, y/n.”

“stay with me until i fall asleep please,” you mumble, even though just a few seconds later, your eyes close, your breaths turn even and you’re sleeping soundly in your bed.

he stills stay for a few moments though, his heart twisting at the sight of your face and watching the calming rise and fall of your chest.

he can’t stop himself from placing a quick kiss on your forehead, mumbling “goodnight beautiful,” into the dark room,

and it occurs to him in that moment how foreign that pet name is, not having ever saying it to his wife before, but it so naturally falling off his lips as he looks at your sleeping face one more time.

that morning, you don’t know if you woke up more hungover or embarrassed.

met with a pounding headache and upset stomach before you caught the water and pills by your bed, sitting up in confusion before it all flooded back to you.

the phone call to seonghwa.

the excursion in his car.

the moment outside the apartment.

“i felt your cock, because you pushed it against me. i t-thought it was in my head, that you wanted me back, but i r-really think you do. either that, or i’m truly fucking crazy.”

“oh my fucking god,” you whisper-yell to yourself, throwing your pillow over your face as the horrible, awful, humiliating memories come back to your fuzzy brain.

“what is wrong with me! how could i have said that?”

you should’ve never ever gotten that drunk with the way your life is currently going. hiding a bunch of secrets from your roommate and having a bunch of thoughts you would’ve never dreamed of having about her very own father.

and then you go and verbalize them to mr. park himself, outwardly tell him not only about your inappropriate feelings but you’re even more delusional thoughts that you think he reciprocates them.

because even if he does, even if all the signs and your memories and the moments you’ve had thus are saying that’s correct, that doesn’t mean anything should happen further.

you guys have to be rational and realistic and think about how your foolish actions would effect others.

how you and eunbi would be effected. how him and his wife would be effected. how eunbi and seonghwa would be effected - it’s a selfish, selfish decision that would only benefit the two of you.

it would harm way more people than it would help - in fact, it wouldn’t help anyone. not even you two.

it would just bring down a pile of judgment on the both of you - seonghwa for being with a younger woman, a woman and friend of his daughter’s for fucks sake, and you for being with an older married man who happens to be your best friend’s dad.

even just the sound of it sounds awful. even just the thought of it without any context or personal feelings makes you wanna-

“oh, god,” you groan, that awful queasy feeling making its way up your throat from your stomach causing you to spring up.

your head pounds as you just make it to the bathroom in time, spewing your guts into the toilet as you hold your hair back messily. you lean your head against the cold wall when you’re done, letting out a slight sigh of relief as some of the shitty feeling is lifted.

you still just sit there on the floor, contemplate your life and current decisions and panic over the stupid, drunken, ridiculous choices you made in the past 12 hours.

you rise to your feet to brush your teeth and splash cold water on your face, plopping back down on your bed to see a text ping through from eunbi.

eunbi [10:48 a.m.]: bitch, i feel like fucking shit. just puked on jiwoon’s bed and he puked at the sight of it:( this is the worst thing to ever happen

"if only you knew...” you mumble as you shake your head, typing back a reply that you, too, just puked your guts out.

eunbi [10:48 a.m.]: ugh i’m sorry you’re there alone :( i probably won’t be back till dinner time. i’ll pick up food though? how ‘bout burgers from that place with the fried oreos?

you [10:49 a.m.]: only if you bring six orders of them

eunbi [10:50 a.m.]: make that ten. rest well, sweets, see you soon <3 xoxo gossip girl

you roll your eyes as you throw your phone down, stretching out on your bed and letting out a loud, dramatic yelp.

you really have to get your life and emotions together. you can’t keep having these racing thoughts and replay of memories and the ever present feeling that you just want seonghwa around all the fucking-

the sound of your doorbell ringing causes your eyes to widen, sitting up to properly adjust before making your way into the living room. you call out a quiet “coming,” peeking your eye through the peephole and letting out a gasp.

you open the door to see none other than mr. park standing there, dressed up in his work attire holding a large thermos of-

“hangover soup. figured you were gonna need it.”

you let out a short, strangled laugh as you look at him, silently opening the door to invite him in. he can’t help but smirk as he lets himself in, removing his shoes before going into the kitchen.

you follow behind like a child about to be scolded, keeping yourself on the opposite side of the island as he shuffles around your cabinets for a bowl; you can only watch in fascination, his broad shoulders and back flexing as he searches around.

it’s all very casual and comfortable, like he’s done it a hundred times and rightfully belongs in your kitchen feeding you and rummaging through your drawers.

“i don’t know if i can eat yet,” you mumble, leant against the small island as he turns to look at you.

he’s grateful your body is covered by the cabinets, remembering the short pajama shorts you put on last night.

but the cabinets do nothing to hide your white tank top, the evidence of you sleeping braless right there in the form of hard nipples and the outline of your boob.

“it’ll make you feel better.”

you can only let out a scoff, not so much bothered by your hangover side effects as you are about your ridiculous comments and behavior toward him last night.

“i doubt that,” you mutter, the tone of your voice causing him to leave the bowl and thermos on the table. he thinks about making his way over to the island but remains where he is, eyes roaming your face until you finally look up and meet his gaze.

“i’m so sorry about calling you,” you blurt out. “and for... the stuff i said. i’m... i’m so embarrassed and stupid, i shouldn’t have said any of that. it was wrong and inappropriate and i completely understand if you think that was way-”

“i told you you weren’t crazy,” he says, his deep, confident voice cutting you off immediately. there’s a power in his voice that makes you perk up ever so slightly, watching his eyes stay on you before he take a step closer.

“do you remember that part of the conversation, too?”

“i t-thought it was in my head, that you wanted me back, but i r-really think you do. either that, or i’m truly fucking crazy.”

“you’re not crazy.”

your mouth becomes dry as you stare at him blankly, his eyebrow cocked and lips growing into a smirk the more you just... stare at him.

“but i will say, that confirmation surely helped last night,” he says, amusement in his tone as his lips pull into a smile. “i didn’t know just how hot you thought a dad like me was. a dilf, as you put it.”

your cheeks flush red and you find solace in one particular tile on the floor, not daring to look up or move a muscle, even when you hear him coming closer. even when his sock-clad feet are right in front of you, his arm raising to take your jaw in his firm hold and force your eyes to look at him.

they’re every bit as dark and intense as you remember, that familiar feeling pulling in the pit of your stomach.

a feeling of such strong and overwhelming desire and arousal, it’s something you’ve never felt before. such a strong pull toward someone that it feels uncontrollable.

“i... i didn’t mean to say that,” you dumbly mumble, feeling a thick building tension in the air that’s quickly leaving you both ready to pick up where you left last night.

“oh no?” he quips, a growing smirk on his face as he tightens his hold on you.

he’s looking down at you with the strangest mix of mocking and softness, an expression that probably shouldn’t make you as flustered as it does.

“then what did you mean to say?”

you can’t control the breathy exhale that leaves your mouth when he swipes his finger along your bottom lip, the mint from your toothpaste and slight smell of vodka wafting in is face.

you can’t control the breathy and airy, “seonghwa,” that leaves your lips, his dick twitching and body moving until you’re pinned against the wall behind you.

you can’t control the way you’re staying completely silent, knowing you should be telling him that this is wrong or that this shouldn’t be happening or that you two have other people to think about before you do this.

“if you tell me to stop, i will,” he says, his voice deep and gruff and so gravely, you’ve never heard him like this before. “but if you don’t... if you’re not gonna tell me you don’t want this, i don’t think i’ll be able to stop, y/n.”

you lick over your lips so you don’t let out another breathy exhale, your chest rising and falling so intensely, you can’t believe you’re not about to pass out.

you can only continue to look at him all wide-eyed and pink-faced, feeling every last reservation and doubt within you fade away.

“then don’t,” you mutter, pressing yourself into the wall so your wobbly legs don’t give out. “because i don’t think i’ll ever tell you to-”

you can’t even get your last words out before his lips crash down on yours, a moan leaving your mouth seconds later at the pure relief and satisfaction of finally kissing him.

the way your lips mold together so perfectly, it’s like you’re already so in tune with the other. lips parting and tongues crashing and moans mixing together, it’s more relieving than either of you could imagine.

his hands grab your hips firmly before he pulls you up and into him, a tiny squeal leaving your mouth when he plops you down on the cold island.

but neither of you break the kiss; if anything, the even height only makes it more intense.

your hands in his dark, once perfectly styled hair. his hands cupping your cheeks before one falls into your hair, tipping your head back as your scalp stings and his tongue completely takes over your mouth.

you can’t help the way you moan out his name, your strangled, breathy “mr. park,” causing him to pull you back by your hair just a little rougher.

his lips are already red and puffy when his eyes look down at you, the amount of lust and desire in him one he’s never felt in his entire life.

“call me seonghwa,” he growls lowly, the tone of his voice causing wetness to pool in your pajama shorts.

“seonghwa,” you moan out, desperate and whiny and trying to connect your lips again.

but he doesn’t allow it. not until you repeat his name over and over and over, finally on the fourth one crashing your lips back together.

and it’s just as relieving as the first, your lips parting and sloppy and wet. his low groans of your name causing you to moan, wrapping your legs around his waist and pulling him into you as close as possible.

his hand in your hair snakes down your body slowly, his longer fingers touching your nipples through the thin material of your shirt.

you let out a loud moan when you feel his touch, wetness pooling and desire building as you arch your back so you’re pressed further into his hand; he’s just about to switch to the other one, tweaking and rubbing his finger around your hard nipple, when his phone blares throughout the kitchen.

at first, he makes no move to answer it.

he just focuses all his attention on the material of your shirt and your lips against his, growling about what a good girl you are and how long he’s been wanting to kiss you and touch you.

you can only moan in response, crying out in a way that would probably sound dramatic and fake if it weren’t so fucking real.

“yo-your phone,” you mutter as you pull your mouth away from his, eyes finding his to see them dark and full of lust.

“i don’t give a fuck about my phone,” he growls, his other hand roughly grabbing your other boob to kneed your hard, abandoned nipple.

the ringing finally stops and he’s back to his work, kissing and licking down your neck so achingly slow as you can only sit there and mutter his name pathetically.

“you don’t know how many times i almost cracked and did this,” he whispers lowly into your skin. “how many times i wanted so fucking desperately to take you and hear you moan like this.”

you wanna tell him that you too.

you too wanted to be like this with him so badly and hear his groans and grunts and the feel of his lips on you; but you can only nod as you clutch onto him desperately, hold onto the shoulders you pictured like this as he fucked into you with your face muffled in a pillow so his wife didn’t hear you two.

“i had to jerk myself off that night i caught you in a towel,” he mumbles, both guilt and arousal flooding through your veins as you remember that night as well.

“but you already knew that, didn’t you, baby? you watched me do it like a dirty little-”

his phone blaring through the air again causes both of you to freeze, frustration coursing through you just as seonghwa growls in the kitchen; it takes a lot for the man to get truly frustrated and this, he’s quickly discovering, is number fucking one.

“what?” he growls when he finally pulls himself away from you, his voice deep and gruff but now full of bite - it shouldn’t make your pussy throb as much as it does.

you can hear the slightly frantic voice on the other side of the phone, quickly distracted by the way a pissed off seonghwa loosens his black tie. he can only continue to watch you as he’s on the phone, the lust and frustration so evident in his eyes, it makes you bite back a moan.

“are you kidding me?” he groans out, his jaw ticking as he hears about the utter incompetence of his workers.

“un-fucking-believable,” he mumbles, the sorrows on the other end of the phone nothing compared to just how frustrated seonghwa is right now.

“i’ll be there in fifteen,” he growls out, not leaving any room for discussion as he hangs up immediately.

his gaze shifts to you on the counter - hair a mess, lips red and puffy, hard, perky nipples peeking through your shirt - and he swears he’s never wanted to kill someone as much as he does right now.

“i’m so sorry to do this, y/n,” he says, the pure sorrow and regret in his eyes so incredibly palpable. “but i have to go. something came up at work.”

you take a deep, shaky breath to calm he arousal coursing through your body, sitting yourself back on the counter as you look at him with understanding.

“i... it’s okay, mr. park. i.. figured from that phone call.”

he’s never wanted to stay with someone as much as he does right now.

he’s had to miss tons of events and special occasions due to his job: family reunions, birthday parties, christenings - but this truly feels like the most tragic.

because not only did this finally happen between you two, the breaking of the dam that’s been sexual tension and lingering feelings of the unknown, but now he has to leave.

leave you here on this counter looking like this when he could have you on top of him. when he could be telling you all the things he’s been wanting to do to you for the past two months.

but now he can only stand in between your legs, his hand smoothing down your hair as he brushes the strands behind your ear.

“you can’t understand how angry i am right now,” he mutters, a low chuckle leaving your mouth because no, you really can. “but i’ll make it up to you, okay? and then we can also... talk about everything.”

because surely this is gonna require a talk.

figure out what the hell and how the hell this is gonna work between you two and see what exactly you both want from this; because for him, it’s not only physical.

he wants you in every possible way, for you to be his and only his in a way, he can only hope, he can also prove to you despite the complications.

“okay. that... that sounds good, yeah.”

he nods his head as his eyes roam your face, looking for any sort of hesitance or upset in your gaze but only seeing a starry-eyed, coy look he has to get away from before he kisses you again.

“i’ll see you soon, y/n,” he says, with a finality and surety that, yes, mr. park wants you and yes, you absolutely just secured your twisted, forbidden fate with him.

seonghwa [12:05 p.m.] meet with me later tonight. i’ll send you the address.

seonghwa [3:29 p.m.] ?

seonghwa [6:45 pm.] don’t make me beg, y/n.

it had been exactly a week since you and seonghwa made out in the kitchen, all the memories of it, both, amazing but horribly revolting when being faced by them beside eunbi.

you almost screamed when she threw herself down on the cold surface of the kitchen island that night, remembering that, yes, just a few hours prior, her father was making out with you and playing with your nipples expertly.

it just reminded you of how truly twisted and forbidden this relationship was, something that will probably always have to remain in the shadows and will be frowned upon by everyone who matters in your life.

“are you getting ready for something?” eunbi asked, watching as you nervously pace around you room.

she had come in for your blow dryer and stayed because of your current state, switching between anxiously looking at your phone and then toying through your closet for an outfit.

almost like you had a...

“oh, my god! do you have a date, perhaps? i don’t how i didn’t see it sooner!” the girl squeals excitedly, jumping up from your floor and diving into your bed. her knee just misses colliding with your face, a huff leaving your mouth as you stare at her scoldingly.

“no i don’t have a date,” you snap, more from your guilt than your friend’s excited accusation. “i’m debating even going. a few people from my class are getting together to work on our portfolio for the end of the year.”

and that’s technically not a lie, you try to justify, a sinking feeling deep within your stomach - you actually are meeting with them. just tomorrow.

“go sweet girl! be active, be social, take cute candid pictures of that handsome boy in your class or be someone’s mysterious, attractive muse.”

“you are so ridiculous,” you mutter with a smirk, the idea of being someone’s muse laughable to you.

she sends you off with an encouraging wink twenty minutes later, throwing an outfit your way that you change because you can’t bear to have eunbi pick out the clothes you’re going to see her father in.

you [7:33 p.m.] what time should i meet you?

seonghwa responds five minutes later with an address just eighteen minutes away, waving goodbye to eunbi and telling her you’ll be home later.

“don’t wait up,” you tell her, her hand brushing you off casually as she eats her personal pizza and watches reality tv.

you try not to let the immense guilt eat you completely alive on your ride over, a mix of intense nerves and excitement wracking your body. excitement because the thought of seeing seonghwa again and continuing what you started was so overwhelmingly satisfying.

hearing the way his voice changes and face morphs, switching from a polite, professional man into someone so sexually charged and intense, it nearly makes you fall to your knees.

but even as nice as that is, as much as it leaves your body humming and heart racing, you guys can’t do this. you have to be real and rational and think with your heads instead of your hearts and genitals.

this is something that only feels right because it’s wrong, will only work behind closed doors and with the two of sneaking around and lying to people - it’s your first time seeing him and you already lied to eunbi expertly, left her at your apartment as she smiled softly at you and told you to have fun.

you shake your head of these thoughts as you roll down your window, allowing the cold air and loud pop music blasting through your speakers to distract you.

the city is dark and nearly empty at 8:00, everyone home and indoors due to the frigid temperatures outside. you pull up in front of large glass skyscraper, modern and sleek in the heart of other business buildings.

seonghwa told you to take the elevator to the last floor, then go in the elevator down the hall that will lead to his suite.

you expected to see a desk and a few chairs upon your arrival, maybe even a chaise for when he wanted to take a nap in between meetings.

but what you walked into was a full on studio apartment, a sectional couch and flat screen tv for the fun of having the money to buy those things. a breakfast nook in front of the floor to ceiling windows, with a view from the 50th floor making your hands sweat.

a queen sized bed rested just between the built in bookshelf across the room, a beautiful comforter matching the soft hues of beige and hunter green in the space.

seonghwa greeted you in a black, long-sleeved shirt and checkered pajama pants, his appearance looking so much younger and softer in his night time clothes.

it made your heart twist even more, everything about him looking so boyish and cute despite his age and looming height.

“hi.”

“h-hi,” you mutter, removing your shoes as you take a look around the space.

it’s so much different than the family home you stayed out, looking more lived in and full of life than the clean, cold appearance of white. he follows your stiff form as you move around, looking over the kitchen and living room area before turning to look up at him.

he’s closer than you anticipate, breath catching in your throat when your bodies are only a few inches apart.

his hand reaches out to move a strand of your hair, the familiar softness and scent bringing him right back to the other day.

when he finally cracked and couldn’t hold himself back any longer, did something he was screaming at himself not to do for months but not feeling a stitch of regret when he couldn’t stop himself.

in fact, it only made him wish he did it sooner - but he can tell you’re feeling uneasy by it, everything about your body language and lack of eye contact making a frown pull at his lips.

“i didn’t think you were gonna come,” he mumbles, looking at his phone all day like a lovesick teenager in school.

you press your lips together so you don’t say something brash, waiting for a few silent minutes before you finally meet his gaze.

“that’s because i wasn’t,” you tell him, your heart aching because you want him so bad. you want this and him and it feels like you can’t have it for so many good, actual reasons.

“i had to lie to eunbi about where i was going,” you say, his face falling at the mention of his daughter’s name. “it was so easy because, of course, she believed me. even though i lied right to her face.”

he licks over his lips as his eyes roam over you, an obvious pain and guilt all over your pretty face. he doesn’t know what to say to you although he wants to comfort you. reassure you sweetly and softly and tell you that everything will be okay.

“that had to be hard,” he empathizes quietly, if ever feeling like a bad father, feeling like one in this moment.

you let out a humorless chuckle as you nod your head, that guilty, horrible feeling in the pit of your stomach making you wanna vomit. it’s worse that even with that, you can still feel the underlying excitement and buzzing you get when you’re around him.

“we can’t do this, seonghwa,” you tell him, your voice too shaky to not sound confident and firm. “i... this is wrong on so many levels, you know that, right? we shouldn’t have done that.”

“of course i do,” he hums lowly, reminded everyday by the fact that he’s not only married but starting an affair with his daughter’s friend. his hands move to your hips anyway, gentle and slow and so careful, in case you don’t want him touching you and will choose to pull away.

you don’t, of course.

“but i want you, y/n,” he says, his eyes unwavering as he stares into yours, hands squeezing at your hips ever so slightly. “i’m not gonna pretend i don’t.”

he watches your composure break faintly, tongue peeking out to lick at your dry lips before you press them together in a line.

his head dips by your lower ear so you can feel his breath waft against your skin, trying to control you breathing as your enveloped by his familiar scent and warmth.

“i don’t know if you understand just how much i want you,” he mutters, a whine threatening to leave your mouth at the way his voice is so deep and gruff. “i think about it everyday. and it feels wrong but i can’t stop it.”

his hands on your hips move down your legs, black tights and pleated skirt leaving your skin bare. he feels hot on your skin as he explores your body slowly, groaning lowly when he touches your inner thighs.

“fuck, baby, you have no idea,” he grunts, every bit of composure in you breaking as you hold back a loud, pathetic whine.

“i wanna ruin you so bad, make you cry and scream and moan my name again. but then i wanna take care of you, too, make sure you’re safe and happy and loved so i really don’t know what the fuck you’re doing to me.”

you’ve never heard him sound so primal, so not formal and kind and mature, like a powerful businessman or poster husband and father.

“i just want you all to myself, all the time. i want you right where i can always-”

a mix between a broken cry and whine leaves your lips, a breathy “stop,” following that has him pulling back to look at you.

he hates how happy he is that it looks like he’s already ruined you, your eyes wide and chest heaving and face so pained, it’s obvious you’re going through an extreme moral dilemma.

“why? because you don’t want it?” he asks, his hand moving to the back of your neck so you can look at him much more clearly.

you both know that’s not the case.

you can feel it in everything in you and he can see it on your face, your eyes roaming over him with a mix of lust, desire, and fear. not fear of him but fear of what will happen when this really begins.

the lies and the guilt and the sneaking around but also the immense pleasure and happiness and feelings that will blossom.

“because we shouldn’t,” you clarify, voice so shaky and weak, it’s pathetic you’re even trying to oppose right now. “i want it so bad, believe me, but... this isn’t right, seonghwa, and you know it.”

“for me, it’s right. i’m not thinking about anyone else, y/n,” he says, his head cocked to the side. “sometimes we deserve to be a little selfish.”

you swallow the lump in your throat as you look at him, about to beg yourself to pull away or tell him to let go of you until you feel it against you. his hard cock through the sweatpants that shows you just how much you’re wanted.

just how much he wants you back and is sitting here begging you to realize.

“i know it feels wrong and i’m sorry you had to lie to eunbi,” he hums lowly, his eyes full of sympathy and understanding. “but we both want to see where this goes. why should we be unhappy?”

he can see the hesitance melting away from your face as you press yourself closer to him, letting out the quietest of moans when you feel his hardness rub up against you.

it leads him to trail his hand down your stomach and under your skirt, feeling your tights already slick with wetness as he runs his fingers over you gently.

“you’re so wet, baby,” he groans, your own moan following as you grip his arm and your head falls back. “you’re so fucking wet and it’s all for me, isn’t it?”

you nod your head silently, wrapping your arms around his shoulders as you feel your legs grow wobbly and unstable.

“are you not gonna talk?” he asks, a bite in his voice that has you pressing your lips together.

“how ‘bout now?” he continues, his hand slipping inside your tights and underwear before being met with your wetness.

you let out a loud cry of his name when he starts playing with your clit, your leg wrapping around his waist to give him more access and get more pleasure.

he can’t help but smirk when he feels you do that, finger moving down to slide into you.

the first thing he notices is how tight you are, squeezing just around his fingers in all your soaked glory. it causes a groan to leave his own mouth, “jesus christ, you’re so tight,” he mutters, a whine leaving your mouth as you buck your hips into him.

he picks up your other leg and wraps it around his waist, guiding you over to the bed before dropping you down and falling to his knees. you look down with clouded, lustful eyes, watching as he strips off your skirt, tights and soaked thong at an alarmingly fast speed.

his dark, hot gaze meets you, so intense and piercing, it makes more wetness gather in between your legs.

and whether he saw it or smelt it or just fucking knows your body so well already, he brings his mouth down to your legs. places soft kisses and long licks to your inner thighs before his finger slips back inside you and his mouth latches onto your clit.

you’ve never felt the sensations ripping through you as seonghwa eats you out like a man starved, his own groans vibrating off your pussy at the taste of you.

you would’ve thought with the sounds leaving him that he was getting any pleasure out of this, your hand on his cock or the both of you in 69 position so he’s at least getting something.

but it’s like he’s getting off on eating you out, hearing your loud moans and cries of his name and the way your hands tangle in your hair. you pull at the strands when he adds another finger, throwing your head back as you buck your hips into his face and cry out his name weakly.

“that’s it, baby, there you go,” he mumbles against your wetness, tongue running up and down your dripping slit. “how good does this feel?”

“i... seonghwa, it’s so good, i can’t- oh, my god, i-”

his face is back in between your legs as a loud moan escapes you, a feeling building in your lower stomach that only spurs on your thrusting hips and loud, whiney moans.

“come on my face,” he begs gruffly, eyes piercing right into yours as you look down at him.

and you’re pretty sure that’s what does you in.

the way he’s looking up at you from between your legs and begging you to come on his face, a loud whine leaving you just as orgasm floods through your body.

it takes a while for you to come down, his tongue licking slowly up and down before you push at his head and roll over on your stomach. attempting to catch your breath and halt the ringing in your ears, a pleasant throbbing in your core from the intensity of what the fuck he just did.

you turn over just as he’s walking toward you with a small white towel, rubbing your legs gently before leaning over your body and pressing a long, lingering kiss on your lips.

you meet the kiss back with a fervor that’s unbelievable to him, like you didn’t just come twenty seconds ago until he realizes, he could probably come ten times and still get it up for you.

you can’t help but be aware of his hard dick hitting your leg, disconnecting the kiss quickly to spit on your hand and jerk him off slowly.

you smile into this kiss when he moans against your mouth, grunts and groans leaving the man nearly twice your age as you jerk him off lazily. you pull his body slightly closer so he’s closer to your core, using your instincts and years of research to drag his cock up your wet slit.

he lets out a loud grunt of your name when his cock nearly slips into you, circling the head around your clit before back down to your slit.

you take the time to get all your wetness on him, spitting on your hand once more before pushing him on his back and giving him “the best hand job of his 39 years of life.”

“shut up,” you giggle into his chest, your cheeks pink and hair a mess as you two lay under the covers together.

you think it’s nearing midnight at this point, the two of you laying there in your post orgasm dazes and then never getting up. you just stayed there and talked, you asked him about work and why he has this space. he asked you about school and if you had any weekend plans.

it seemed as if you talked about everything and nothing, floating from topic to topic so smoothly, you don’t know if it should feel this easy.

“come to dinner with me on saturday,” he mumbled in your ear, his tired eyes fighting sleep as he lays there beside you, his head buried in your hair from behind.

you hummed your reply of yes a few minutes later but he was falling fast asleep, his arms wound tight around your body as he pulled you closer and pecked a goodnight kiss on your shoulder.

the next three saturdays had turned into date night.

the first was to an italian restaurant just outside the city, surprisingly cute and quaint despite the price for a single plate of risotto. you and seonghwa smiled and drank and played footsie under the table, giggles leaving your mouth that had his heart pulling in his chest.

the next saturday was his favorite sushi place downtown, a safe option because his wife detested sushi and eunbi was bound to the sorority house for the weekend planning formal.

and this saturday was rainy and cold and everything you hated about march, not cold enough to have pretty snowfall like december but nowhere near warm enough to enjoy the sun and outdoors.

that’s why you texted seonghwa when you knew he was winding down at work, asking him if you could have date night in since eunbi was spending the weekend an hour away at jiwoon’s and you really just wanted to stay home tonight.

seonghwa [5:19 p.m.] of course, baby. i’ll pick up takeout on my way over.

you smile at he pet name in his text, jumping in the shower before making sure every inch of the house was clean. you hear him knock on the door at 6:30 sharp, opening in excitement to see him standing there in his work clothes.

he’s in all black today, from head to toe including his hair, and it makes every part of you feel incredibly warm and flustered. almost regretful, really, that you two haven’t had sex yet.

“hi. brought some food by,” he says with a smile, mindful of the neighbors which is the only reason he doesn’t pull you in for a kiss.

but he’s quick to do so once you’re behind closed doors, dropping the bag on the entryway table before pulling you into him.

you’re always exactly what he needs after a stressful week at work, kissing you and touching you and talking with you.

hearing your soft giggle or receiving your playful swats, watching as you listen to him so intently, he swears he doesn’t think anyone in his whole life has made him feel the way you do.

“hi, beautiful,” he hums against your lips, that cheesy greeting he always gives you never failing to make you bush.

“hi,” you mumble back, his cologne wafting in your nose as he moves closer to you. “you smell good.”

“so do you,” he chuckles, taking your hand in his as he leads you over to the kitchen.

you watch as he sets up your food with a content smile, making you sit and watch as he asks about your day and goes through your cabinets with ease.

you’re settled in front of him as you slurp up spaghetti and share your dishes, letting out a snort as he tells you about the time he sported a mullet in the 90s.

“you’re lying!”

“oh, i wish i was,” he cringes, the memory of his brown shaggy mullet and double denim on the first day of high school all too fresh. “but it was the times.”

you let out a giggle as you shake your head, looking at him with tears of laughter in your eyes.

“no it wasn’t! mullets were the 80s!”

“they carried over,” he insists, sipping from his beer to hide the playful smile pulling at his lips - they definitely did not carry over.

“no they didn’t, you were just scary,” you giggle, looking over his handsome, smiling face before you shrug your shoulders. “and honestly, it’d be unfair if you were hot your whole life anyway. you wouldn’t be humble like you are now.”

“who said i’m humble? i’m hot, y/n. a dilf, some would say.”

the smile quickly falls from your face, causing him to let out a chuckle through a satisfied smirk.

he throws you a chastising look when you throw a dirty napkin at him, his narrowed eyes and quirked eyebrow all you need to take out of your chair and into the living room.

but despite his age, he’s probably (definitely) in better shape than you.

he catches up to you just a few seconds later, arms wrapping around your waist and a squeal leaving your mouth as he plops you down on the couch. he hovers above as he watches a smile spread across your face, eyes roaming you so sweetly and softly before he places a chaste kiss on your lips.

he pulls back and mumbles for you to pick a movie, cleaning up the food and dishes before you can even protest. you plop down on the couch with a sigh, the rainy and dark night sky outside making you very tempted to pick a scary movie.

you find a paranormal ghost film that looks interesting enough, waiting for him patiently on the couch with blankets and pillows.

he smiles as he sees you there waiting, his tall figure walking toward you and looming above. he smirks as he watches your eyes looking over him, so blatantly checking him out, it’s like you’re about to ask him to-

“you didn’t bring a change of clothes?” you ask with a soft pout. “you’re not gonna be comfy.”

he holds back a chuckle as he shakes his head, insisting that he’ll be fine before you’re off and running into your room.

you have an oversized t-shirt that you usually wear to bed, frequently buying men’s t-shirts or sweatshirts to lounge around the house in.

“should i be concerned as to why you have a man’s shirt in your room?” he quips, sliding off his pants to just leave him in his black boxer briefs and your white t-shirt.

you try not to let your eyes drop below his waist, explaining to him why exactly you had this clothing on deck.

“guess i’ll have to give you some of mine then, if you’re such an enthusiast,” he mumbles, plopping down next to you. you rest your head on his shoulder as you cuddle your body closer to him, his arm wrapping around you as small, content hum leaves your mouth.

the movie proves to be a flop around the 45 minute mark, you and seonghwa making comments back and forth before his hand starts to dig into your shoulder.

a small groan leaves your mouth when they dig into a small knot in your shoulder, seonghwa’s eyebrows pulling together before he tells you to turn around.

you shake your head, turning to him and insisting that you’re fine - that if anything, he needs a massage for working six days a week for way longer than the typical eight hours.

“fine, then me next,” he says, not leaving you with any other option than to allow his hands on you.

the tiny whines and moans leaving your mouth make his dick twitch, your head tipping back and falling onto his shoulder as your bones start to feel like jelly.

his hands move down to your lower back, thumbs pressing small imprints into your skin before he wraps his arms around your waist and pulls you back into him.

he’s pressed up against the arm rest, your body in between his legs as you lean back on his chest.

“what are you doing?” you whisper into the darkness, the only light in the apartment coming from the tv.

“relax, baby,” he mumbles, his breath wafting in your ear before he presses a peck on your shoulder.

“b-but it was your turn to feel good,” you whine quietly, feeling less and less motivated the more his hands snake down your body and linger by your thighs.

“this makes me feel good,” he mumbles, smiling as he places his hand between your legs.

he feels warmth radiating from your pussy that causes him to hold back a groan, running his fingers up and down your clothed slit until he feels wetness on the fabric.

“i... but i want you to... what about you, seong-”

his finger sliding inside of you causes all your words to halt, curled and wet and long as it hits your g-spot perfectly. your moans only grow louder when he starts to play with your clit, rolling his hips into your back so you can feel his hardness against your back.

“i love hearing you moan, baby, see,” he mumbles, his other hand trailing up to hold your jaw tightly. “you sound so fucking pretty.”

a strangled moan leaves you as his fingers pick up the pace, your hips bucking and riding his hand until you’re coming around his fingers.

you don’t even give yourself time to adjust before you get up and remove your shorts, pushing him back against the couch cushions and straddling his hard, clothed cock.

you connect your lips as you rub your sensitive pussy over him, his low moans and grunts in your mouth causing you to slip your tongue in.

you’ve been getting more and more bold the more you guys explore each other, tongues clashing and movements purposeful and moans so loud and pretty and whiney because you know he gets off on it.

“i wanna fuck you so bad,” he mumbles against your mouth, your hand slipping inside of his boxers to jerk off his hard, dripping cock. you’re only faintly aware of your phone vibrating on the table, mind flooded with the idea of getting on your knees and sucking him off.

“what about my mouth?” you ask, pulling back so you can stare at him with wide, lustful eyes. “will you fuck my mouth, mr. park?”

his eyes flash and the sight alone makes your stomach swoop, his hand in your hair and tugging you down until your on your knees and between his. there’s a slightly sting on your scalp but it doesn’t matter in the slightest, not when you’re licking the underside of his cock and staring at him as you do so.

not when you suck the tip before engulfing him in your mouth, his loud grunt of your name causing wetness to form between your legs.

“holy fuck, baby,” he groans, his head throw back against the couch and his hips bucking into your mouth slightly.

and you just wanna prove yourself even more, keeping your eyes on him as you bob your head up and down. swirl your tongue around and around and allow him to hit the back of your throat.

his grunts are getting louder and more frequent, his hips bucking and his hands pulling at you hair until, suddenly, the sound of your doorbell ringing stops it all.

his hands are still in your hair as you pull off his cock with a wet sloppy, pop, the two of you staring at one another in surprise.

your heart starts to pound viciously in your chest, scrambling over to the table in the nude to see 5 new texts from eunbi and 3 missed calls.

eunbi [8:52 p.m.] you will never believe the night i had! fuck jiwoon to hell, i’m omw home and demand youmake brownies so i can forget all about this stupid fucking dickweed

eunbi [9:19 p.m] why are boys so stupid???? why are they even on this earth if they don’t do anything right or communicate properly???

eunbi [9:27 p.m] why are YOU not communicating properly??? u better be busting ur ass making brownies, istg y/n

eunbi [9:45 p.m] if you’re with those photography loving, y/n stealing nerds, i’m gonna break their cameras

eunbi [10:02 p.m] pls for the love of fuck tell me you’re home. i forgot my keys and i’m gonna lay in traffic in the next two seconds

“get in my room,” you whisper-yell at seonghwa, red, swollen cock out and aching to be relieved as he sits there in the cold air.

“what? why?” he asks lowly, a bad feeling sinking in his gut at the ghost-white, horrified look on your face.

“eunbi is fucking home!” you tell him through gritted teeth, his face falling as you throw his clothes at him. “get in my room NOW and hide in the closet.”

he’s about to protest until he hears the doorbell ring again, the simple fact that his daughter is downstairs and waiting to come into her apartment finally getting through his head.

you scramble to put your clothes on as you move around the apartment, making sure there’s not a single sign of seonghwa anywhere before fixing your appearance to the best of your ability.

you answer on the intercom and hear eunbi’s “fucking finally!,” buzzing her in and trying not to pass out from the rapid pounding in your chest.

it feels as if you’re ready to pass out, pure panic and fear coursing through your body as eunbi makes her way up to the apartment. you continue to look around the kitchen and living room for anything suspicious, eyes widening when you see seonghwa’s shoes placed at the front door.

you scramble to pick them up and rush to your room clumsily, opening the door and throwing them in enough to see seonghwa sitting on your bed with his head in his hands.

he shoots up when you open the door, relief covering his face as you shake your head and point toward the closet silently.

you're making your way back down the hallway, eyes roaming over the apartment in complete and utter paranoia, when eunbi bursts through the door.

"jiwoon is such a fucking idiot!" she yelps, flicking on the lights before hauling ass into the kitchen. she rips open the fridge and is relieved to find her last white claw, snatching the lime flavor and cracking it open violently.

"you'll never believe what this motherfucker did!” she snaps, taking a swig of the drink before continuing her trek toward the living room. “i'm actually shocked, disgusted, horrified, even, that this handsome son of a bitch actually made me-"

you follow behind with your heart pounding and mind racing, not even realizing her feet had stopped moving until you crash into her back.

your heart drops into your stomach as you watch her look over the living room, lights now on and tv idle on the movie screen but seemingly everything else normal - there's no men clothes or leftover food anywhere, what the hell could she be staring at?

"why does it.... what is that...." eunbi looks around the living room before turning to you, her face scrunched in suspicion and familiarity. "is that cologne?"

and just as fast as that expression crossed her face, her mouth dropped open and eyes lit up, she’s running over to you and hanging off your arm like an annoying little toddler.

"did you have a freakin boy here?" she squeals, "is that why you weren’t answering? tell me it's the one who claimed you as his muse. please tell me it was him, oh my god, if i cock blocked you i'm gonna be so-"

"he wasn't here!" you blurt out, flicking her off you and taking a deep inhale of air - you don't smell anything, so how does she?

"you're full of shit, i smell cologne! it smells just like my dad's so he has expensive taste, too," she winks, her eyes falling to the empty beer bottle on the table. "and beer?!" she squeals, "you hate beer!"

panic starts to make its way through your body, chest tight and heart pounding as you wrack your mind for any, lord please fucking any, explanation.

"he- he wasn't here long," you correct, voice so obviously tight and shaky, it's unbelievable she's not calling you out right now. "he drank a beer and we watched a movie. but the others were here too, before your dirty little mind gets any ideas."

"ugh so you mean to tell me you weren't fooling around on the couch?" eunbi pouts, throwing herself down on the ottoman in front of it; her pout quickly turns into a deep frown, then vicious anger, examining the couch with a scary type of heat in her eyes.

"me and stupid jiwoon fooled around this couch, you know."

you let out a breath of relief, grateful for the conversation to be shifting away from you.

"i... did not need to know that," you respond dryly, a horrible amount of guilt and disgust coursing through you.

like you weren’t just there with her father, his dick so far down your throat you couldn't breathe, and now you're talking shit to her about being sexual on the shared surfaces.

"what even happened anyway?” you ask, plopping down the couch because you can’t bear for your lying self to be close to her. “i thought you were supposed to sleepover?"

"oh i absolutely was! until this asshole decided to play in his stupid video game tournament while i was there! he's a grown ass man, what kind of video game tournament is more important than me? his girlfriend?” she asks, hands flying and voice full of anger as she recalls their argument.

“he didn't do this when we were in high school but now when he's fucking adult, he decides to..."

an angry eunbi is a eunbi that takes time to simmer, just needing to be heard as she rants and raves before its like all the breath her lungs could hold is void of her body.

you can only sit there and nod, trying to listen to her to the best of your ability because the fact that her father is just a few feet away, hiding in your bedroom and waiting for your return, is too much.

what the fuck were you thinking bringing him here? why would you think that was a good idea, to bring him in your shared space with eunbi and act as if you two couldn’t get caught at any fucking seco-

“but was i being too harsh? i could’ve napped or watched tv since he only had an hour left,” she says, the brunt of her anger and irritation now morphing into an obvious sadness and frustration.

because you know if there’s one thing she likes best, it’s her sleepovers with jiwoon.

“i mean... i get why you were upset,” you say, turning your body toward her. “it was kind of rude of him.”

“right!” she squeals, “that’s what i was thinking! and now i’m avoiding all of his messages. he called me about 30 times on my drive here.”

“eunbi...” you scold lightly, the bratty look on her face a completely contrast to her defeated body language.

“i had already made a scene. i couldn’t go back with my tail between my legs and accept it!” she reasons, “i’d look like a little bitch.”

you forget for a moment what a bad friend you are, matching her playful, teasing energy as you feel your lips quirk into a smirk. her eyes narrow as she raises her leg to kick you gently, whines leaving her mouth as you let out a soft giggle.

“okay, fine. i’m a little bitch. we know,” she admits, “but he shouldn’t have done that! he didn’t have to stay for the whole thi-”

her phone’s vibrations causes her words to halt, you looking at her while she watches her phone. stares at jiwoon’s name and contact picture, the two of them hugging and smiling at the camera, and you see in her eyes how much she wants to answer.

“answer him,” you say, rising from your feet as the anxious pull comes back to your chest. “you know he’s probably losing his mind.”

“as he should,” she mumbles, waving you off as she waits until the very last second to answer. “what?”

her voice has a snappy edge in it that would usually cause you to laugh, watching her stay seated right in the living room before you make your way down the hall and into your room.

you walk in quietly, locking the door and pressing your back against it as you allow yourself to take deep, shaky breaths; it feels like you couldn’t get enough air in your lungs if you tried, watching seonghwa who’s looking at you with the same freaked out, anxious expression.

“are you okay?” he whispers lowly, tears threatening to spring in your eyes as you shake your head.

and that’s how you’re sitting beside him, throat clogged and hands still shaking as you both just sit there, silence saying more than anything as you both listen to eunbi yelling at jiwoon from the living room.

“this was such a stupid idea,” you mumble, keeping your voice low and quiet as you talk beside him. “this was so unbelievably stupid and risky, i don’t know what we were thinking.”

and seonghwa can’t even defend that or tell you anything otherwise - because right now, as he’s hiding in your room like a teenage boy who just got caught by a girl’s parent, he can see just how fucked up this situation is.

how both of you are so terrified in this moment, pale-faced with pounding hearts and the horrible, gut wrenching feeling of nerves and anxiety.

but he thinks it’s even worse the way you guys are clinging together, how he wraps his arm around you and pulls you into him. mumbles in your ear that everything is gonna be okay as long as you two stay quiet and wait until eunbi falls asleep.

it’s around midnight when seonghwa passes out in your bed, his arm wrapped around your waist and breath fanning down your neck as you hear his gentle, even breaths.

you two were keeping your conversation to a minimum despite your tv being on, just wrapped up in one another with your thoughts and the feel of your skin on the others.

your soul nearly left your body when eunbi tried to open your door, you jumping in seonghwa’s hold but the older man pulling you tighter against his body.

“the door is locked,” he mumbled sleepily, his lips by your mouth just barely a whisper. “it’s okay.”

“y/n? are you sleeping?” he hears his daughter’s voice ask, his own calmness melting away as he hears her voice.

she sounds so happy and hopeful despite her one hour screaming fest in the living room, realizing in that moment he raised a daughter who didn’t take shit from anyone.

this feels very much like his two worlds colliding catastrophically - his life as a father and husband, someone who always puts his family first and acts in the best interest of them, to his life as a man.

anything his wife and eunbi wanted, he worked his ass off to give them for the last 22 years of his life. complete his duties as a father to provide, to take care, to always put his child’s interest above his own.

but at what point can he start caring about himself? at what point did he lose himself into becoming an unhappy, married father who worked and forgot who he once was?

he truthfully didn’t even get to find himself, thrown into the world of an adult because he was forced to marry and take care of a child he wasn’t ready for - he didn’t regret it by any means, he wouldn’t change the course of events if he got the chance, but it’s something he’s thought about since his time with you.

you make him feel something he’s never felt before, excitement and giddy and like a part of his life that’s been missing is slowly coming to him.

so that’s why, even though this feels so wrong and dirty and terrible of him, he can’t say this needs to end. that this is gonna be the thing to make him realize sneaking around with you was a foolish, rash decision.

because he doesn’t think anything is gonna make him feel that way.

he likes the way you make him feel too much. he likes the way you look at him and kiss him and listen to him, how you two genuinely have a romantic, emotional and sexual connection he’s craved his entire life.

it’s the same way you’ve never felt like this in your entire young life, not having too much experience on an emotional level but knowing in your heart that this connection is very real.

how he makes you feel and how happy you get to see him. how warm and excited you get and how much you don’t wanna leave him at the end of your time together.

you’d fall asleep in his arms right now if it wasn’t for your mind still racing, the nerves still zipping through you at how close you guys came to getting caught tonight by eunbi.

your phone vibrating on your bed side table causes you to still, craning your neck to see eunbi’s name on your screen. you swipe open your phone with shaky hands, feeling like you’re finally able to breathe tonight as you read her message.

eunbi [12:41 a.m.] good morning sleepy head! so unfortunately, i’m a weak in the knees slut for my loser, gamer boyfriend who’s outside to pick me up :/ but i’ll be back tomorrow doing the walk of shame and would appreciate your discretion. luv u, sleep well <3

guilty tears prick your eyes as you let out a calming, slow exhale, hearing the door to your apartment close a few moments later.

you turn in seonghwa’s hold to see his eyes closed and face relaxed, black hair hanging low in his face. he looks even younger in his sleep, skin so smooth and blemish-free, it’s like he’s not even a real person.

your finger reaches out to trace the sharp line of his jaw, your touch so slow and calming, you didn’t at all think it would wake him.

but then his eyes pop open and he’s looking at you with all kinds of softness and amusement, watching with a growing smile as you look at him in surprise.

“oh... hi,” you mumble, your voice still low in a whisper. “i thought you were sleeping.”

“your phone woke me up,” he chuckles, taking your wrist in his hand so he can bring your hand to his mouth. he presses a soft kiss to your skin as your eyes follow, cheeks warming in the darkness you’re grateful he can’t see in.

“eunbi just left,” you inform him, your heart pounding at the chaste kiss on your hand. “jiwoon came to pick her up.”

“so they made up i guess,” he chuckles humorlessly, the small nod of your head and soft smile causing him to do the same.

you watch as his eyes trace over every part of your face, like he’s trying to memorize every little detail about you. it causes your throat to become tight, eyes fluttering closed when he grasps your chin to connect your lips.

the kiss is slow and chaste and so sweet, it makes your heart ache.

you can feel just how much your lips fit together, parting on one another as you both take the time to just kiss. there’s nothing rushed or lustful about it, just the two of you haring a soft, slow kiss in the comfort of your dark room.

“i’m sorry i put you in this position,” he mumbles against your lips. “it’s wrong of me and i hate that... that this is how it is,” he explains softly, eyes looking in yours that were once filled with so much fear and tension.

“i’m sorry how anxious this made you tonight. i know it was a close call.”

you nod your head as you look at him, feeling as if your heart cracked down the middle.

“i put you in this position too, seonghwa,” you say back, voice raising just a tad. “it’s... both of us doing this. i made this decision the same way you did.

he licks over his lips as he feels his throat becomes clogged, his hands on your waist tightening when he pulls you closer.

“i know, baby,” he says, his eyes falling to your lips for a split second. “but i saw how scared you were. i... i don’t wanna be the reason for anything that’s gonna bring you unhappiness or fear or doubt.”

“and you won’t,” you assure him softly, shaking your head as you give him a soft smile. “you can’t be.”

but you both know that’s a lie.

you both knew when this started that this was gonna be ugly and forbidden and wrong, everything about it pointing in the direction that this isn’t something you should even think about doing.

but it just feels so right to the both of you.

the way you fit together, the way you connect, the way that now, because it’s just you and him together again, everything feels okay again.

between your semester picking up, real meetings with your photography group and private, intimate dates with seonghwa, it felt like you hadn’t hung out with eunbi in weeks.

any time you were home, she was in class or at the sorority house - preparing for her departure in just a few months and staying connected with the girls she couldn’t help but form a superficial bond with throughout her four years.

and then when she got home, you were off. either going to the campus or seonghwa’s office to have a romantic candle lit dinner.

“i’m almost done with my portfolio,” you tell him excitedly, a sweet smile on your face because this is all possible thanks to him. “i only wish i could just crash a wedding or something.”

a deep chuckle leaves his mouth as he watches you from across the table, his hand in the middle as you toy with his fingers casually.

“maybe you can,” he says, his lips red from the bottle of wine you shared. “we can stake out wedding venues. offer your services for half the price.”

“are you drunk?” you giggle, kicking his leg under the table playfully. “i can’t be a poacher, seonghwa!

a smile pulls at his lips as he finishes off his glass off, rising from his seat to make his way over to you. you let out a squeal when he pulls you up suddenly, your legs wrapping around him immediately.

he plops on the couch with you in his lap, hand gently carding through your hair.

“you’re such a professional already,” he comments with a smirk, his voice all types of deep smoothness that make your heart flutter. “high morale. a strict set of values. i almost wanna invest my money to support your future, self-owned business.”

“don’t you dare,” you whine, your first knocking into his chest lightly. “you already paid my tuition. i won’t allow that, too, seonghwa.”

“but would you really know?” he asks teasingly, a drunk giddiness you’ve never seen in the man before. “it’d be in the form of a graduation present. could’ve been from anyone, baby. you wouldn’t know.”

“oh, i’d know. no one would drop the money you do on me, mr. park,” you bite back seductively, his eyes narrowing in on the smirk making its way across your face.

you had just about had a mental breakdown the other week when he presented you with a gift, looking at him skeptically before pulling out a beautiful necklace.

a diamond pendant lay on the dainty, sliver chain, shining so beautifully under the dull light of his apartment, you almost thought he was playing a practical joke on you.

it took him all night to convince you to keep it, that he wanted you to have it and it’d make him really happy to see you wear it.

“well the necklace really does look pretty on you,” he hums lowly, your lips meeting in a sweet, chaste kiss despite your compromising position on his lap. “you look beautiful, baby.”

a blush makes its way across your cheeks, hiding your face in his neck as you let out an embarrassed whine. his deep chuckle rings through the apartment, his hands resting on your hips as he enjoys the presence of you.

the feel of you in his lap, the complete and utter calmness that comes over him when you’re around, your quiet breaths that make him so stupidly content, it’s hard to picture what his days were like before you.

“beautiful and mine,” he mumbles into your hair, his arms wound tightly around your waist. “stay over tonight. i wanna fall asleep with you.”

your heart pulls in longing because that’s something you absolutely wanna do. you wanna fall asleep and wake up next to him more than you care to admit, but, unfortunately, you can’t.

“i cant, i promised eunbi i’d be home to watch our drama,” you tell him with a pout, arms wrapping coyly around his shoulders. “i actually have to leave soon.”

“baby, c’mon,” he whines, hands squeezing lightly at your hips. “just for tonight. i want you here with me.”

you bite down on your lip as you cock your head at him, pressing a chaste kiss to his lips before pulling back with a sad smile.

“i can’t,” you tell him, “i want too, really badly, but i can’t. we have to see who’s gonna be the one to-”

he scoops you up again causing a squeal to leave your mouth, throwing you down on the bed in an act that causes you to rush home twenty minutes late.

“i’m sorry, bi, we got held up at campus,” you lie through your teeth, carrying a bag of snacks and wine coolers you picked up from the store. “i bought some goodies in exchange.”

you look up to see eunbi cuddled up on the couch, face mask and pjs on as she looks at you with a mock, chastising look - you wonder when the tables turned, when she was the one waiting on you with a judgemental look of reproach.

“oh i bet you did, miss ma’am, trying to win me over with some... are those mike’s hards?” she squeals, jumping up from the couch with an excited look on her face. “i haven’t had one of those since middle school!”

“why were you drinking in middle school is this real question here,” you chirp, her eyes rolling before she pulls you down toward the couch.

“mike’s hard is proper middle school etiquette,” she begins, clicking on the tv to the newest episode of true beauty. “now shush, we must begin!”

you let out a snort as you open up your bag of snacks, placing chips and cookies in front of you for the next two hours of heartbreak you know for sure is coming.

but in true eunbi form, she doesn’t shut up throughout the whole thing.

commenting on the actors and the dialogue and how even though poor seojun is superior in every way (”bad boy looks, sweet fun banter, and an overall better trope of a man”) it’s obvious this is more of an unrequited love than love triangle.

“it’s like they didn’t even try!” she whines an hour into the show, her upset face looking smooth and moisturized as jukyung and seojun have banter in the street. “look how much happier she is with him! they have all that fun passionate banter and chemistry. it makes no sense!”

and even though you would never let it slip that you’re secretly more team suho, something about his sweet, quiet nature calling to you, you can’t help but giggle. smile at her comments and laugh at the tv, eating away at your chips until you feel her persistent gaze on you.

“what?”

“you remind me of jukyung these days,” she hums, a wise-ass smirk on her face as she leans in closer to you. “i know you’re preoccupied with a boy. and like, i don’t know why you’re being so secretive about it when you know in detail the way jiwoon rails me.”

“i never asked to know any of that!” you point out with a growing smirk, the dismissive wave of her hand causing you to snort.

“still! i know someone’s making you happy,” she says, “and i have a feeling it has to do with mr. photography. the yin to your yang, bonnie to clyde, the troy to your gabriella but you’re gonna have to tell me eventua-”

you see her eyes staring down at your neck in the middle of her rant, eyes bulging and lips pursed before she’s grabbing at the dainty, sliver chain.

“what the hell is- did he give this to you?” she squeals, her eyes roaming over the fine piece of diamond with envy. “he got money, bitch, damn! are you freakin’ kidding me! gifts?! real diamond? why are you not telling me more about this man!”

you had taken the necklace off anytime you’d come home within this past week, guilt and nerves building up in you as you do your best to remain calm.

“because there is no man, for one! i told you we’re all just friends,” you groan to her, flicking away her hands aggressively. “and i bought this for myself, there is no way it’s real.”

and you thought your awkward laugh of disbelief would’ve sold anyone, that even the mere notion that you were wearing a real diamond around your neck was impossible.

but eunbi had an eye for these things, countless diamond jewels with authenticity she wouldn’t even have to question - it’s why she’s so persistent with yours, eyeing it up and down and all around to come to the conclusion that

“are you sure?” she asks, skepticism all over her face. “that shit looks real.”

“it was quite literally $29.99 so i hope not, for the store’s sake,” you say, the girl looking it over one more time before she lets out a dismissive hum.

“interesting, very interesting,” she hums, her attention slowly being pulled back to the show. “well, when you’re ready to tell me about the boy making you smile sooo dreamily, you know where to find me.”

you spend the rest of the night with an immense amount of pain and guilt, knowing that, tomorrow, when you talk to seonghwa, it’ll all fade away.

because that’s usually what happens.

in his presence you’re able to forget about all the betrayal and backstabbing and absurdity of this situation.

how, if eunbi ever finds out, your friendship might never ever be the same again - and it’s not something you’ve ever wanted to give up or lose. she’s your best friend and someone you’ve come to love and need over the past four years.

“are you a grudge holder?” you ask your roommate, you washing the dishes as she dries and puts them away.

you had just watched a horror-thriller about two roommates, one falling in love with the other and confessing late into the night about their feelings for them; but after she had politely rejected her, she had plotted her revenge for weeks upon weeks.

watching as she met with others and dated other people and allowed herself to fall in love with someone else just to sadistically torture her because she rejected her and found someone else.

“why? are you scared that if you reject me, i’m gonna try to fuck you up?” she quips with a smirk, bumping her hip with yours in a way that makes you roll your eyes.

“oh, please,” you mumble, a soft giggle leaving your mouth as she climbs up on the counter.

she places the cups and plates away on the higher shelves, crossing her legs as she sits on the counter and watches you finish the last of the utensils.

“i don’t think i’m much of a grudge holder,” she says, cocking her head to the side in thought.

“if someone does something by accident, like offends me by accident, absolutely not. but i don’t really like liars,” she says, remembering the downfall of her high school group being that number one issue.

“it’d be hard for me to forgive a liar. especially if i considered them a good friend to me and they did something... unforigiveable.”

that conversation from your first year of getting to know each other couldn’t help but play over and over in your mind, the sinking feeling in your stomach reminding you that, no matter how this ends, you and eunbi might not ever be the same.

that if this gets out somehow, if you and seonghwa fuck up again and get caught, eunbi might find out and never wanna talk to you again - and truthfully, you can’t blame her.

but you also can’t picture ever losing her.

the girl you’d grown to love and who has been there for you for you entire college career. it makes you sick to even think about, her finding out and feeling so betrayed and upset, she wouldn’t be able to look at you anymore.

but you’ve never felt the way you do with seonghwa. you’ve never been able to connect with someone and feel as if you’re meant to be with him, find comfort in his presence and the way he makes you feel.

like how every morning you wake to a message from him, a simply typed good morning beautiful that always makes you start the day feeling just a little bit happier.

today’s your day off from classes so you spend it cleaning the apartment, tiding up your room and giving it a deep cleaning before moving onto the living room. there’s leftover wine coolers and chip bags from yesterday, you and eunbi staying up well into the night giggling and chatting on the couch.

you had missed spending time with her without feeling plagued by negative feelings, ashamed that you know you only have yourself to blame for.

you’re humming softly to yourself, finishing your last task of the afternoon when you hear a loud commotion at your door. a harsh fist banging so loudly, you fear it’s mrs. park about to run in and call you a home-wrecking whore.

you peek through the peephole and feel your mouth drop, a masked figure wearing a long, black cape standing there imposingly; it’s not until you see the faint lock of long, black hair that you know who it is, using their (her) key to burst the door of your apartment.

“gimme the mail! gimme the mail! i’m the hamburglar!”

you watch the girl with a blank expression on your face, eyeing her up and down and wondering when she had the time to do this after class.

“i had it in my car, i was gonna try to scare you,” she informs you, a smile pulling at your lips before you see an expression you know all too well cross her face - usually when she wants something, or when she knows she’s about to ask you to do something you’d rather not to do.

“but perhaps not as much as my next question, or request, really, is gonna scare you.”

“eunbi...” you whine, the girl ripping off her hamburglar attire as she looks at you with a smile.

“it’s nothing bad! i just... miss hanging out with you, right?” she quips, all types of innocent and bubbly as she looks at you.

“it’s been a month and we don’t usually do that, you know? and what better way to reconnect than over a free dinner at a michelin star restaurant.”

“what’s the catch?” you ask, your eyebrow quirked suspiciously.

“my parents will be there.”

you don’t know who was more shocked when you walked into the restaurant at 6 p.m. - you, seonghwa or mrs. park, who took one look at you and just knew the tight black dress adorning your body was eunbi’s.

discomfort and anxiety swarmed within you at her tight, narrowed gaze, the hint of a smile that was on her face upon seeing her daughter dropping when she saw you.

“i thought you told your mom i was coming,” you mumbled to eunbi, the girl’s arm linked with yours as you take in her mom’s appearance.

“i did,” she whispers back, tightening her hold on you immediately. “she’s just a bitch. have you forgotten?”

you have to stifle back a fake, pained laugh as you both move closer to the table, ignoring seonghwa’s gaze that you feel burning into you. you take the seat across from him, looking up and meeting his surprised but amused gaze for a split second.

“hi mom! hi dad!” eunbi chirps cheerfully, plopping down on the comfortable chairs of the restaurant beside you. “white wine? for us? you shouldn’t have.”

seonghwa smirks at his daughter, saying hello to her before his eyes move to you.

it takes everything in him to not let his eyes rake over you, take in the tightness of the material on your waist and admire the way your hair falls perfectly; he even notices different makeup on you, so done up and pretty, he wants to stake his claim on you right here in this restaurant.

but instead, he pushes it down, so similiar to the sneaky, dismissive way he acted when he first saw you back in december.

“hello, y/n. how have you been?” he smiles, the twinge in his eyes causing your stomach to swoop - this feels forbidden and dirty, like his face wasn’t just buried between your legs a few days ago.

“good, mr. park, thank you,” you say, your eyes on him for probably a few seconds too long before you look at his wife beside him; if there’s a twinge of disgust and jealously, you quickly push it down.

“thank you for allowing me to join, mrs. park.”

“of course, although eunbi doesn’t give us much of a choice, does she?” she asks, a tight look on her pretty face that causes your smile to drop every so slightly.

at the same time eunbi tightens her hold on your arm, both for your comfort and her own restaurant, seonghwa’s deep, warm voice is filling the space between you four.

“the more, the merrier,” he smiles, his eyes roaming over your face. “you know you’re always welcome, y/n.”

you swallow down the growing lump in your throat, heart pounding in your chest as you look at the man with the best poker face in the word.

“thank you,” you mumble, the waiter coming over and successfully ending the conversation.

your eyes nearly bulge as you look at the prices on the menu, not even knowing how to pronounce half of the food items.

you feel uncomfortable and out of your element and it’s not at all helping that mrs. park is diagonal from you, her eyes boring into you like you’re some type of freak show.

“i think you’d like this, y/n,” eunbi says, pointing to a few things on your menu. “we can just get two things and share it.”

you look to a her and she throws you a sneaky wink, bumping your shoulder playfully before turning her attention to her father.

“so, dad. spring break. where are we going?”

you listen quietly as eunbi and her father have banter back and forth, the serious but amused fatherly tone in seonghwa bringing a smile to your face.

the relationship between seonghwa and eunbi is one you can’t help admire, how they’re both so alike in their kindness and genuineness and the way they don’t let wealth effect them.

eunbi could tell her father anything and know he would never judge her. he would do anything for her and his family and he’s proved that time and time again - ever since the first day you met him.

“if you girls ever get in trouble, if you’re somewhere you shouldn’t be or something’s happening that you feel uncomfortable with, call me,” he had said in your dorm room, his eyes on eunbi as he sees his child off on her first day of college.

“you won’t get in trouble, bi. i just wanna make sure you’re safe, at all times. do you understand that?”

“yes, dad,” she whined, a pout on her face as she stares up at her father. “it’s not like we’re gonna do anything.... and get caught,” she adds, throwing a wink your way that you can’t help but smirk at.

“eunbi,” he groans, a serious, tiredness in his voice at the shamelessness of his daughter.

“i’m serious, dad, of course i know that,” she whines, “i think we both know i wouldn’t know what to do without you. especially if i only had miss bitch on wheels to deal with.”

“be nice to your mother,” he says despite the smirk on his lips, his gaze shifting to you. “the same goes for you, y/n. if eunbi’s ever getting too crazy, make sure to let me know. because any trouble you girls get into will probably be her doing.”

“that... is so fair,” eunbi says, throwing her arm around you cheerfully; it’s the first day and you still can’t get over how it feels like you’ve known her forever. how open and honest and comfortable you guys already are around each other.

“but you don’t have to worry, dad. me and y/n are gonna be besties. and besties don’t rat out other besties.”

but besties also don’t sleep with their besties father’s four years later, shaking the thoughts away when you hear mrs. park spit out your name.

you gaze shifts to her as you smile at her, a shaky “yes?” leaving your mouth.

you expect to hear her mockingly ask what you’re getting for dinner, listen to you butcher the name of a fancy french meal and correct you like the bubbling idiot you are.

or maybe see if you’re gonna flunk out with your arts degree, tell her she told you so and that you should’ve done something more practical for your career.

the last thing you expect her to say though is the thing that freaks you out the most - you have to physically stop yourself from shuttering, hoping you don’t look as pale and haunted as you feel.

“that’s a... pretty necklace.”

your eyes widen as your eyes flick down to the chain, touching at it anxiously before sending her a tight, timid smile.

“thank you.”

“where did you get it?” she quips, her dainty, french-tipped fingers wrapping around the wine glass; she’s faintly remdining you of regina george.

“i’ve been looking for something... simple like that.”

it feels like you could very well throw up right now, puke up your breakfast of yogurt and overnight oats right on this pristine table. seonghwa can see the anxiety all over your face, wanting to say something and come to your defense but also not wanting to draw suspicion.

and it’s like you know it too, your eyes flicking to him with the subtlest shake of your head.

“it was... it was at a little stand in the mall,” you explain, pink flushing on your cheeks in embarrassment. “the lady thought it would look nice with my earrings.”

“doesn’t it look so real?” eunbi chirps, buttering her piece of bread to perfection. “it was only 30 bucks! i thought for sure it was authentic diamond.”

“it certainly looks it, y/n,” mrs. park quips, your red lipstick not leaving a mark on the wine glass - how the hell does she even manage to do that? “seems like you got yourself quite a deal. are you sure you got it at a... stand in the mall, did you say?”

“what about cancun, bi?” seonghwa blurts out, looking to his daughter who snaps her gaze to him excitedly. “we haven’t been there in a few years. that’s tropical enough, right?”

“um, duh!” eunbi blurts out from beside you, her eyes moving from her dad to you beside her (unknowingly on the brink of an anxiety attack). “you’re coming too, right? oh my gosh, y/n, you have to! we will have so much fun!”

you can still feel mrs. park’s gaze boring into you as you sit there open-mouthed, gaze shifting from eunbi to seonghwa who’s watching you with a soft, barely readable expression.

“i... uhhh,” you stutter out, looking at eunbi’s excited, awaiting face. “i’d have to see how much flights are and stuff. rooms, too. i feel like it’d probably be kind of-

“you don’t have to worry about that! just your flight,” eunbi says, her eyes full of excitement and light that makes your stomach wrench even more. “you’ll just rent out a villa, right dad? jiwoon would come too, obviously.”

“obviously,” seonghwa rolls his eyes, his lips pulling into a smile until his wife’s voice rings in his ear.

“it’s been a while since we’ve all been on a vacation, though, honey,” the woman says, her voice like nails on a chalkboard to your ears. “shouldn’t it just be a family thing?”

your eyes narrow not at her blatantly uninviting you, acting as if you’re not even hear to hear this, but the way her hand rests on seonghwa’s. her gaudy, jewelry-covered hand with long nails and a shiny wedding ring, right atop his.

like it belongs there and like she’s far too intent on proving it does - which, you know, realistically, their husband and wife so she has every right.

but it doesn’t stop the sadness and insecurity and utter discomfort to flood through your body, watching her touch him and mumble to him and prove to the onlookers that that’s her husband beside her.

“are you serious mom? y/n’s right here and you’re trying to kick her out? what is wrong with you?”

“i’m not doing that, eunbi, y/n understands, don’t you, love?” she asks, the pet name falling from her icy lips making you hold back a sneer.

you meet her gaze and she holds it with an uncanny intensity, her fingers lacing through seonghwa’s causing him to give her a side eye.

“we just... haven’t been together as a family in a while, y/n. especially with eunbi away at school or her being with jiwoon all the time. we miss that quality family time.”

“i’m a grown ass woman about to graduate college, mother. i’m not going on vacation with just my parents like a child,” eunbi snaps, feeling like an ungrateful brat but, honestly, not caring. “that’d be so weird.”

“how would that be weird, it’d be like-”

“y/n and jiwoon are coming or you two can just go together. we’ll go somewhere else.”

“fine, maybe you should do that then,” mrs. park answers, just as childish and snappy as her petulant daughter. “me and your father could go. lord knows we haven’t gone anywhere since our honeymoon.”

“maybe because he can’t stand to be in the same room as-”

“enough,” seonghwa growls, his deep voice causing you to swallow the lump in your throat. “don’t be ridiculous, anyone is welcomed on our vacation. if eunbi wants to bring her friends, she can.”

seonghwa’s never been more grateful for the food to be brought to the table in his life, his hand pulling away from his wife’s just as the plates and bowls are placed down on the table.

he tries to meet your gaze for the rest of the night, his feet hitting yours like all the times you’ve played footsie under the table at his apartment or your many romantic dinner dates.

but you can’t stop the sinking feeling in your stomach right now, picking at the weird food you still can’t pronounce while being reminded of the fact that, tonight, seonghwa will be going home with his wife.

“i’m sorry my mom was such a fucking bitch, as usual,” eunbi whines as you walk through the front door, throwing her bag down on the floor before flopping on the couch. “she really tried to kick you off the trip right in front of you. like? who does that!”

“i can’t say i blame her,” you mutter, curling in on yourself in the fluffy pink arm chair. “i already invaded her house during our winter break.”

“oh, fuck her, y/n! she doesn’t make the rules. i do!”

you let out a humorless laugh as your gaze shifts to eunbi, watching her lay out on the couch with a pout on her face.

“please come still. i know she might make you uncomfortable but i’m not gonna let that happen,” she says, her wide eyes looking at you with surety.

“we’ll just ignore her and be at the beach 24/7. the bars there are also insane, we’ll have so much fun! we can even drink shit out of a coconut!”

another laugh leaves your mouth, this time a little more genuine and amused, as you look over eunbi’s smiling face - it only grows larger when you nod your head reluctantly, explaining that you really can only decide once you look up prices for flights.

“we’ll look tomorrow!” she promises, covering herself with a blanket before flicking through the channels of the tv.

you stare blankly at the changing screen, the girl eventually landing on a rerun of a crime drama as you allow your mind to wander.

thinking about all the things you try to avoid when you think of seonghwa - because while you can never forget he’s eunbi’s father, something you’re reminded of every day for obvious reasons, it’s easy to forget that he’s married.

that he’s somebody’s husband and promised to be there for her. he’s completely indebted to her and has built a life with her, technically having a loyalty to her he could never have to you.

because when it comes down to it, when it really comes down to the logistics of what’s happening here, you’re the mistress.

you’re the young, naive college girl who’s eager to please him and keeps him feeling young.

you’re the one who knowingly eyed him and touched him and flirted with him knowing he had a wife, did all of that right in her home with her just a few rooms away.

you’re the one who, if it came down to it, would ruin his life completely and put everything he worked so hard for at risk.

tears prick your eyes the more you think about the situation, the more these negative but realistic thoughts plague you until you hear vibrations coming from your bag.

seonghwa [9:02 pm] come to the office. i need to see you.

you bite down on your lip as a lump forms in your throat, blinking away the tears and shaking your head as you lock your phone.

you distract yourself with tv and comments from eunbi and the reminder that she’s your friend here, the person who’s been there for you the most but you’re betraying her the worst.

especially when you hear your phone vibrate again, feeling the resolve break in you even before you even read his next message.

seonghwa [9:18 pm] please, baby.

seonghwa knew the moment you walked in that you were faking a smile. greeting him with a quiet, shaky “hi,” that caused him to pull him into you.

he let out a sigh of relief the moment you melted against him, his lips pressed against your head as his arms wrapped around your waist.

“thank you for coming,” he hummed into your ear, your head buried in his chest and quite intent on staying there. you swallowed the lump in your throat as you nodded against him, his hold tightening on your waist.

he didn’t like the look on your face all throughout dinner, nearly coughing up his wine when he saw you and eunbi walked in.

but then it was quickly obvious how uncomfortable you were, his wife’s nonstop snide comments and rude looks. the way you avoided his eye contact and subtle footsie kicks and the way you just didn’t wanna be there at all.

he hated that this is the position he’s put you in now, how unless it’s only you and him alone, you can’t seem to enjoy yourself.

how you seemed to be insecure and upset all night, noticing the frown on your face when his wife would touch his hand or whisper nonsense in his ear.

“can you look at me please?” he asks, pulling back in hopes to meet your wide pretty eyes.

but you only continue to stay buried in his chest, biting down on your lip so viciously, you think you might draw blood.

it just doesn’t feel like you’ll be able to keep the tears at bay any longer, feeling so ridiculous and dramatic and like a whore - meeting seonghwa at his sketchy office apartment after sitting right in front of his wife and daughter two hours ago.

his hand gently touches your chin, giving you a few seconds to move on your own before he lifts your head up.

his heart immediately sinks when he catches the look in your eye, sad and glossy and so utterly heartbreaking, it makes a frown pull at his lips.

“what happened?” he asks quietly, running his thumb along the smooth skin of your chin. “why do you look so sad, beautiful?”

your lips press together as a sob threatens to leave your mouth, moving your face out of his hold to swallow the lump in your throat. you take a few slow, calculated steps toward the large windows overlooking the city, taking in the dark sky and bright lights and small figures below.

people walking home from dinner or just starting their night out - some of them probably married couples or best friends, friends who have known each other for years and wouldn’t think to lie to each other so easily.

lie that you had to rush out because you accidentally deleted some photos off your camera and have to meet with your classmates to get them back immediately.

“it’s her camera, she let me borrow it for the last of my project so i don’t know where the folder is,” you told eunbi in a panic, more so anxious about you and seonghwa opposed to your completed portfolio.

you wonder if some people might even be like you and seonghwa, lovers in a twisted, secret affair, who are lying to the ones they love and hurting more and more people as they go on along with their lives.

but as much as you struggle with this, as much as these thoughts torment you on some nights when you can’t sleep or when eunbi smiles at you a certain way, you can’t ever find yourself regretting it.

you can only be tormented between what’s morally right and what you feel you want. how to keep yourself the most happy and content you’ve ever been in your life. feeling the most loved and receiving the most care you’ve ever experienced before.

“i... i didn’t like that,” you mumble honesty, your eyes trained on the outside world as seonghwa slowly moves behind you. “i hate lying to eunbi and i hate feeling like what we’re doing is bad and forbidden.”

you licks his lips as he hears the pain in your voice, biting down on his lip because he can understand completely - he feels the same exact way.

“but it’s a little sick that i hated see you with... her, more. because it reminded me that you also have a wife, seonghwa. e-even if you don’t like her and even if you guys aren’t technically... together, you still have a wife.”

“she hasn’t been my wife in years, y/n,” seonghwa says, his voice deep and soft as he stands directly behind you.

his lips just graze your neck and you can feel his faint breaths against your skin. the steady rise and fall of his chest against your back, keeping you warm and making you feel safe.

“we haven’t ever been in love or happy,” he confesses quietly, pressing himself closer to you. “we got married because of eunbi. and because our parents wanted us to. but we’ve never been like... a normal husband and wife.”

“but you still are,” you say, throat clogged with so much emotion and guilt.

“you’re still husband and wife. you’re still indebted and loyal to her. and i’m just... in the middle of that. i’m the mistress at the end of the day. we have to lie and sneak around and hide, because we know this isn’t-”

“i want you,” he growls lowly, a gasp leaving your mouth as he pushes you against the cold, glass window. you know that no one can see you this high, not the couples or best friends below and not the onlookers in the apartments just as high as you.

“i haven’t felt this way about anyone in my entire life, especially not her,” he mumbles, his hands traveling to your hips and squeezing gently. “and she hasn’t felt that way for me either. it was always for money, y/n. money and the image of a perfect little family.”

you bite back the sob threatening to leave your mouth, biting the inside of your cheek as you feel his lips press small, feather-light kisses along your neck. you can feel the silent intensity in them, his ragged breathing trying to convey what he’s saying as pecks on your skin.

“if you ever want this to end, if you don’t l.... like me anymore, i’ll let you go,” he mutters, the very idea of it paining him to an unbelievable degree. “but if it’s because of her, or because you feel like we shouldn’t be together, i can’t do that, baby. we deserve to be happy.”

a tiny noise, a half cry and half laugh of some sorts, escapes your mouth and that’s when he turns you around. presses your back against the window and wipes at the faint, wet marks under your eyes.

you look the most scared he’s ever seen you, scared of this discussion and scared of how serious the problem’s in this relationship is getting - but it’s not between you two, it’s all external. all the outside conflicts that make this relationship feel wrong and taboo.

“do i make you happy?”

you swallow the lump in your throat as you feel your heart jump, his dark eyes roaming you so intensely and so lovingly, it almost makes you burst into tears.

“that’s not the issue and you know-”

“do i make you happy?”

you lick over your lips as you met his gaze, tears threatening to cloud your vision as you stare back at his intense, unwavering gaze.

“yes, but-”

“but nothing,” he hums, his thumb on your cheek moving down to your mouth. he traces your lips with a gentle, sweet touch, eyes fixed on your teary gaze.

“you make me happier than i thought i could ever be,” he says, the sweet, loving words so foreign on his tongue.

“i can’t have anything, or anyone, take you away from me, y/n. you’re mine, now. do you understand that?” he hums lowly, his head cocked to the side.

his words nearly make your knees buckle, the look that crosses your eyes quickly following your next movements - a soft, tentative brush of your lips against his, so slow and achingly sweet, it makes him hold back a groan.

his large hands cup your face as he meets the kiss, mouths parting and tiny groans leaving both of you until it turns desperate. his body pushing harder into yours so you’re pressed up against the cold window, mouths moving furiously and passionately against the other.

your hands find their way to his shoulders, feeling the material of his dress shirt stretched across his broad body until your fingers start toying with the buttons.

undoing them one by one until he’s shrugging off his shirt, standing there with his chest and abs exposed. black plants still covering his legs and desire staring right at you that shoots an ache between your thighs.

“i don’t ever wanna see you sad baby,” he mutters, his hands running up and down the curves of your body. “i don’t think you know how much it upsets me.”

you lick over your lips as a shaky breath leaves your mouth, a moan leaving your mouth when his hot tongue grazes your neck.

“i-i’m sorry,” you whine out, lust and desire quickly taking over your brain.

“don’t say sorry, baby,” he mumbles, his cold hands slipping under your shirt. he bites back a groan when he realizes you’re not wearing a bra underneath, large hands kneading at your chest when he grazes your hard nipple.

“tell me immediately when things are upsetting you,” he mumbles, his finger tweaking and rolling your sensitive nipple so skillfully. “don’t stay trapped in that pretty little head of yours. or look at me with such sad eyes from across the table that i feel like i’m gonna lose it.”

“i.. okay,” you mumble out, arching your back to push yourself more into the hands giving you so much pleasure. “okay, seonghwa.”

“other name,” he mumbles lowly, the hand not under your shirt making it way between your thighs - it might’ve been your biggest mistake or best idea to come here in pajama shorts, fluffy and white and so loose fitting, it’s almost too easy for his hand to slip between your legs.

“o-okay, mr. park,” you mutter, a whine escaping your mouth when he brushes against your clit.

he smiles upon hearing the noise he’s come to love and cherish, rubbing your nipple and flicking your clit as you’re splayed out against the window. his hands grip your shorts when it feels as if you’re about to come embarrassingly fast, ripping them down and allowing the cold air to hit your bare wetness.

he’s down on his knees and eating you out before you can even make another noise, a whine or protest or yelp of pleasure, your hand gripping his hair as he buries his face and licks around your clit.

teases and licks and sucks every part of you as you’re flush against the cold window, cries of “seonghwa” and “mr. park” and “oh, my god,” leaving your lips, his eyes looking up at you when he feels your hips bucking into mouth.

“you wanna come on my face baby?” he mutters, “come on my face like my good girl loves to do.”

but in a shocking turn of events, you push him away and pull him up by his hand, your lips meeting his in a quick, sloppy kiss before your hazy gaze meets his.

“fuck me,” you plead pathetically, voice breathy and whiney and far too begging. “please, seonghwa, i-i want you to fuck me.”

his eyes flash and you’re flat on the bed before you know it, the both of you naked and breathing heavy as he looms above you. his cock is hard against your leg but he makes no move to go further, his eyes staring into you as you look up at him desperately.

“are you sure about this?” he mumbles, never having gone this far with you yet. “i... i need to make sure you want this for us. not because of... anything else,” he mumbles, your insecurities and sadness from before still lingering in the back of his lustful mind.

but you shake your head as you crash your lips on his, trying to prove with everything in you that you want this. you want this for him and you and the utter need to solidify your genuine love - even if you’re not ready to tell him that yet.

“i want you,” you tell him honestly, tears of frustration and such profound need pooling in your eyes. “i’m yours and i want you, seonghwa.”

his eyes darken and he feels his heart pull in his chest, cock twitching the mere sight of you ready to take him.

he feels your core drenched and attempting to suck him in, lining up his cock and running his tip along your wet slit.

“say it again,” he growls, rubbing his tip along your sensitive, soaking clit.

“i-i’m yours and i want you, seonghwa,” you whine again, your eyes staring up at him so desperately, it’s hard not to just rail into you.

but he still takes his time and pushes into you slowly, inch by inch and ridge by ridge as he lets out loud grunts at your tightness.

“oh, my god, baby,” he groans, the arousal in his voice causing you to throw your head back in pleasure.

“you’re so tight, my love, holy fuck.”

you bite down on your lip when you feel his full length inside you, your core tightening and adjusting to him as he breaths heavily above you. looks into your eyes and sees in that moment you really do want him, the love and softness and light in them so obvious, it causes him to press a kiss to your lips.

moving inside you every so slightly, it causes both of you to moan out in unison.

“mo-move seonghwa, please,” you beg quietly, the feeling of being full so pleasurable. “i-i’m ready.”

his hips thrust in and out a few times, his eyes rolling back in pleasure at the same time you take short, ragged breaths.

“fuck,” you mutter, head thrown back in the pillow as you feel his body above yours.

“you feel so full, don’t you baby?” he mumbles in your ear, his cock thrusting in and out of you slowly.

you let out a whine as you nod your head frantically, widening your legs and moaning again as his thrusts start to pick up. hips snapping in and out as his own pleasure starts to overwhelm him, the feel of your tight pussy clenching around him nearly causing him to black out.

“i’m stuffing this pretty pussy full of my cock, aren’t i?” he growls, the words leaving his mouth causing a loud, embarrassing moan to leave you. “it feels so good, you tightening around me and taking me so well. like this tight little pussy was made for me.”

“y-yes,” you cry out, the feeling of this and his words like nothing you’ve ever experienced before. “for you.”

“i know for me, baby,” he growls, his thrusts getting more and more intense as his pleasure builds. “for me and me only. because you’re all fucking mine.”

tears spring to your eyes when his finger comes down to rub at your clit, his cock hitting a spot inside you that has your legs shaking vigorously. your pussy tightening and spasming around him, every part of your body feeling like it’s tingling and on fire.

“don’t come until i say so,” he growls, his thrusts becoming sloppy and harder. “want you coming when you’re stuffed full of my come.”

your eyes roll back as you try to hold back your orgasm, the sound of skin on skin slapping and your loud, combined moans making you shake your head from side to side.

“i-i can’t, seonghwa, please,” you cry out, the tightening in your core become more and more intense. “i... it feels too good, i have to-”

“come, baby girl,” he growls, his words feeling like they’re vibrating in your ear as his hips move sloppily. “come on my cock.”

your eyes roll back as you finally allow yourself to let go, his hot come releasing inside of you and making you feel incredibly warm and stuffed full of him. his cock is pulsing inside of you as he finsihes, thrusts long and lazy as he groans deeply in your ear.

and it’s with one final thrust that he pulls out of you, nearly collapsing on top of you before he rolls off at the last second. you can only lay there barely able to catch your breath, ears ringing and heart pounding as your eyes fall shut.

feeling so heavy and at ease and warm, it’s like you could easily fall asleep at any second.

you feel his lips pressing kisses to your shoulder, his deeply mumbled “you okay baby?” before you hear movement from beside you. warm water hits your thighs a few moments later, eyes popping open to see him cleaning between your legs.

a whine leaves your mouth as he lifts you up, walking you to the bathroom before plopping you down on the toilet; it all feels incredibly intimate and embarrassing despite what you just did, him looking at you on the toilet with flushed cheeks and messy hair.

“pee,” he demands softly, a smirk pulling at his lips as he watches your cheeks flush. “oh, what, is this too much for you?”

you narrow your eyes before you swat at his naked body, a deep chuckle leaving your mouth before he sees himself out of the bathroom.

you wince as you feel his come dripping out of you as you pee, cleaning yourself up further and washing your hands before making your way back to the bed.

there’s a fresh set of sheets and a brand new comforter on the bed, his body resting on the headboard as he extends his arm out to you.

“come to me, baby,” he demands, your feet immediately moving to be beside him.

he adjusts your bodies until he’s flat on his back and you’re resting on his chest, tracing shapes and letters into his skin. a small content smile crosses his face as he feels the movements, the last three letters of is name causing him to let out a soft chuckle.

“seonghwa,” he repeats aloud, your neck craning up at him as you let out a soft giggle.

he presses a kiss to your head before turning his attention to you, bringing your face closer to his so he can press another peck on your nose.

“i’m sorry again that you felt sad today,” he says, his hand running over your face gently. “i know it’s hard but we’re gonna figure it out, y/n. no matter what happens.”

and it’d be so easy to try and disregard his words.

get right back into your head about how wrong all of this is and how many people you’re betraying and lying to.

but the look in his eye and the tone of his voice makes it so hard to not believe him, everything about him so confident and loving, you, too, believe that you’ll be able to figure it out.

no matter what happens.

“okay,” you mutter to him, your lips grazing his warm, broad chest. “i trust you.”

he smiles softly as he rises your face to his, pressing a long, lingering kiss on your lips that tastes like wine and sweat.

“good,” he mumbles into your hair, his arms wrapping around your waist tightly. like he has absolutely not intention on allowing you to leave tonight.

“stay over,” he demands softly, leaving no room for objection or protest. “i need you next to me tonight.”

but you don’t think you could leave him tonight even if you had to, cuddling closer into his side and nodding your head against his chest.

you’re lulled to sleep by the sound of his breaths and kisses on your head, not hearing the three word confession he lets softly slip until he’s positive you’re fast asleep.

spring break - night one

“if i don’t have a pina colada in the next five seconds, i’m gonna throw a fit.”

“oh? and what would you call this?” jiwoon responds, his girlfriend tucked under his arm at the crowded outdoor bar.

“i’m calling it my lousy boyfriend not getting me and my bff drinks, that’s what!” she squeals, poking at his arm roughly. “it’s bad enough you’re third wheeling us?”

“i’m third-wheeling you guys?!” the man scoffs, his eyes floating to you. “when did that happen?”

“about four years ago,” you respond, your four pina colada’s making you feel good. “a shame for you, honestly. we’ve felt bad, dragging it out, but she just can’t find it in her to leave you.”

“because of your pee pee,” eunbi respond crudely, a laugh bubbling of your mouth as jiwoon face palms his handsome features. “that’s what keeping me around honestly. certainly not your ability to get freakin drinks in a timely fash-

“three pina colada’s!” a friendly worker exclaims, walking over to your table and placing down the tall glasses; jiwoon can only look at you and eunbi with stares of distaste, half joking and half unamused as you both look at each other in guilt.

“did i say four years? i meant zero. i hate women. full of internalized misogyny over here.”

“you’re so much more than your pee pee, that was in poor taste to say. i’m sorry, babe.”

“uh huh,” he hums lowly, looking over the both of you with amusement in his eyes. “just drink your shit and don’t vomit on me.”

“cheers!” you and eunbi exclaim, waiting until jiwoon clinks his glasses with yours to enjoy the taste of strong rum and coconut.

you had come up with the money for the flight much to eunbi’s pleasure, the girl wrapping you in a big, dramatic hug and jumping up and down; you wondered if she’d feel the same way if she found out how you got the money, seonghwa handing you $5,000 to put in your account to “enjoy your spring break together.”

“seonghwa, i cannot accept this, are you crazy?” you yelp at him in the morning light, the two of you naked in his apartment as he gets ready to go down to work.

you guys had had a deep, long conversation about if you felt comfortable enough to go on a week-long vacation with him, eunbi and mrs. park, his hand in yours as he rubbed at your skin and confessed he really wanted you to go.

“she has friends there so we won’t have to be too careful,” seonghwa told you, his lips pressing against your head. “and you’ll probably be with eunbi and jiwoon a lot anyway. i just want you to have fun, baby. you deserve a vacation.”

and when you were about to let out a sigh, tell him thanks but you don’t know if your nerves can handle that, he pulled you in close to his warm nude body to wrap his rms around your waist.

“you always wanted to go there, yeah?” he hummed, recalling your conversation from months back in his dining room. “cancun or the maldives.”

you pull back to look at him with a smile, the hint of amusement and mischief on his face causing you to stare at him in shock.

“i... can’t believe you remember that,” you tell him, smacking him in the abs lightly. “is that why you recommend that? was that your plan?”

he just mysteriously shrugged, letting out a chuckle and pulling you in for a kiss when you rolled his eyes.

you left his office that day incredibly reluctant and on edge, the stack of money in your now fat wallet leaving like a thousand pounds - but he wouldn’t let you leave if you didn’t.

“please let me take care of you, baby.”

“please, eunbi, let me take care of you,” jiwoon’s voice utters a few hours later, the girl leant against the wall just outside their shared room - you were able to pay for your very own room, no part of you wanting to share with the extremely loud and extremely horny couple currently stumbling around.

“you’re dr-drunk, too, jiwoon,” eunbi spats, giggling when she stumbles over and hits into his hard chest. “who-who are you take care of me?”

“you are such a brat, it’s not even funny,” the man mumbles lowly, his hold on her tightening as you let out a sigh - you just wanna go down the hall to your own room. you’re tired and don’t feel like watching the foreplay that is a dominant jiwoon and petulant eunbi.

“are you gonna brat tame me, tough guy?” she giggles, her body pressing up against his as her hands run through his slicked back hair. “i think i need you to tie my hands behind my-”

“alright, yeah, i’m going to my room,” you blurt out, jiwoon’s face flushing, like he completely forgot about your presence, while eunbi’s face snaps to you with a pout.

“y/n... stay with us, jiwoon can sleep at the bottom of the bed,” she whined, the man’s protesting falling on deaf ears.

“absolutely not,” you giggle out, patting her on the head like an exhausted but loving mother. “i’m sleepy anyway. i just wanna go to bed.”

“how-how can you when you have that beautiful jacuzzi?” she hums lowly, her lustful eyes turning to her boyfriend patiently waiting. “in fact, i think i just gave myself an idea.”

“you go do that,” you encourage with a smirk, “rock his world.”

she throws her head back in laughter before jumping on jiwoon without warning, the man nearly crumbling to the floor as he catches her last second. you watch the couple clumsily move and argue lightheartedly down the hall before disappearing into their room.

you make your way to the other side of the villa, escaping into your empty room decorated with accents of cream and blue - it reminds you a lot of seonghwa’s apartment, the view of the city and high skyscrapers exchanged for the long stretch of sand and ocean.

you plop down on your bed with a groan, stretching your arms above your head as you let out yawn; you want nothing more than to go to sleep right now but you feel sweaty from the humidity and gross from the plane, rolling to your feet to peek your head in the bathroom.

you and eunbi nearly fainted when you first looked at the jacuzzi, a beautiful beige structure with a small circular window showcasing the view outside. you turn the hot water on before your tired body can even register it, the thought of sinking into a hot, bubbly bath all too good right now,

and the idea seems even better when you her your phone ping in the other room, checking your phone and a smile lighting up your face as you run toward the door.

seonghwa snakes his body inside the moment you open, pressing his finger to your lips before closing the door gently and replacing it with his lips. you meet the kiss with a smile, a content hum leaving your mouth.

he can taste the coconut on your lips and nothing’s ever been so addicting, tongue slipping in your mouth as he grips your hips tightly.

“you taste good.”

“it’s the five pina coladas,” you giggle, taking his hand in yours and pulling him toward the bathroom. he hears the rush of water coming from the tub, excitement bubbling up inside him as he gives you a suggestive look.

“you taking a bath?”

“we’re taking a bath,” you bite back lowly, your teeth sinking into your lip as you pull your dress over your head. his eyes wrack your body in a lace bra and matching panties, cock already hardening at you standing half naked in front of him.

he does the honors of unhooking your bra and pulling down your thong, leaving a trail of kisses to your inner thighs before telling you to wait for him in the bath.

you gather towels and your robe before dipping your foot in, the water hot and steamy but just what you need you sink your body in and let out a content moan, your sleepy drunkenness only making the warmth feel even better.

your eyes are shut as you press the button for the jets, water massaging your back before you hear seonghwa’s footsteps pad back in to the room.

his own clothes are discarded now, his cock hard and waiting in the air with two shots of rum in hand - you have a feeling you won’t be able to stomach alcohol or coconut after this trip.

but it makes you excited now, reaching out your hand and thanking him sweetly.

you throw back the alcohol as your eyes remain on him, watching him sink into the hot water and let out a content sigh.

you crawl your way over until you’re in his lap, his hard length underneath you just as satisfying as it is arousing.

you meet the kiss with a smile, tongue slipping in his mouth as you push yourself up against him. he lets out a groan at your intensity, the way you’re gripping onto his shoulders and rutting your hips against his hard length.

“remember when you drunk called me?” he mumble in your ear, smiling at the memory that started all of this. “let the news slip that i’m a dilf and you felt my cock?”

“shut up,” you whine against his mouth, your hands slipping between your legs to jerk him off lazily. “i had to make a move somehow.”

he lets out a groan as your hand wraps around his length, skillfully moving up and down, hissing when you pass the tip of his hard, aching cock. he slips his fingers between your own legs a few seconds later, playing with your clit before curling two fingers inside you.

you let out a moan as you attempt to ride his fingers, all the alcohol and hormones coursing in you making you unbelievably horny and ready to attack him.

“wanna ride you,” you mutter, letting out a moan when he focuses on your clit.

“then sit on my cock, baby,” he groans lowly, forcefully moving you all on his own. “wanna stuff your pretty little pussy.”

you throw your head back at his words, pussy tightening and nipples hardening in the cold air. his eyes catch the shot of rum behind your head, taking the glass and throwing it back before his hand twists in your hair.

you look about him dumbly, about to ask what he’s doing and to please let you ride him before he pulls your head down to his level, jaw and mouth tipped back in the air.

his mouth is just above your own, glossy, dark eyes staring into your wide, lustful ones before he spits the rum in your mouth. you nearly choke on it when a gasp threatens to escape, the wetness building between your legs going unnoticed in the hot bath water.

you can only continue to watch, lust building and a whine threatening to leave you as the strong rum and his spit start to mix in your mouth. he pulls back with a satisified smirk, watching your chest heave and gaze turn hot before he crashes his lips onto yours.

it feels like you’re outside of your own body, completely transforming into someone else when you sink down on his cock and bite down on his shoulder to hold back a moan.

bouncing and grinding and swiveling your hips on his cock, his own groans and moans and curses muffled into your chest. his tongue flicks at your nipple and everything about this moment is pure animalistic lust.

the two of you getting off on each other and building for the other’s pleasure. your hips rocking and bouncing and his tongue swiveling, hands pulling at your ass before he begins to fuck up into you.

the water is sloshing all around you and onto the floor, your own hand reaching out so the stream of water can muffle your sounds.

“seonghwa, oh, my god,” you moan out quietly, throwing your head back in the most amount of pleasure you’ve ever felt. it feels like his cock is in your lower stomach, quite literally rearranging your guts as you bounce and welcome the shooting pleasure.

“i’m filling you up good, right baby?” he grunts out, his hips frantically fucking up into you. “you take my cock so fucking well, baby.”

you can only moan out pathetically as your thighs start to burn, crying out pornographically as you start to feel your pussy tighten and thighs shake. you feel his thrusts become sloppy before his own groans begin, his release emptying inside you as you feel warm and full of come.

you ride out both of your highs in the form of gentle, light movements, sitting down on top of him and making sure he bottoms out so he fills you up completely.

and it’s like he knows what you’re doing too, pulling you down into a kiss so he can groan into your mouth and mumble sweet nothings. sit there with his cock still inside you and the hot water around, jets still sloshing water around as the both of you catch your breaths.

your head is resting against his wet chest, eyes feeling heavy and body feeling exhausted as the drunkenness and alcohol get to you.

it doesn’t stop him from washing your body to the best of his ability, turning you around so your back presses up against his chest. water sloshes around you as he mumbles in your ear, telling you to raise your arms or lift your leg so he can wash the majority of your body.

“how ‘bout your hair, my love?” he mumbles, your head falling against his chest as you shake your head.

“will wash in the morning,” you mutter, seonghwa nodding his head as lifts you up and steps out of the tub carefully. the floor is soaked and slippery so he moves cautiously, bringing you all the way to your bed and placing your body down gently.

he takes a seat on the comforter and runs his fingers through your hair gently, not being able to help himself when he crawls in next to you.

you hum happily with a sleepy smile on your face, letting out a content groan as you rest your head on his shoulder.

“how was your first day in cancun, baby?” seonghwa mumbles, his chest warming when you pull yourself closer to him. you’re cuddled into his side, clinging to his arm like a little koala completely dependent and vulnerable.

“mm good,” you mumble, not even having the energy to open your eyes. “fun. it’s hot. and... i like the jacuzzi.”

he lets out a loud chuckle as he nods his head, pressing a kiss to your head as he, too, agrees that he really likes the jacuzzi.

spring break - day three

if there was anything getting you through this dinner, you, jiwoon, eunbi, seonghwa and mrs. park all sitting around the table outside, it was the endless strawberry daiquiris on deck.

it was the one cohesive activity you guys planned on doing with each other, mr. and mrs. park (but mostly seonghwa you’re sure) insisting they take you out at least once.

“you still have to wear sunscreen, mom, you’re gonna be a wrinkly mess when you’re older.”

“please, not with the amount of face creams and lotions i have, eunbi,” mrs. park remarks, her daughter rolling her eyes as she snatches up an appetizer chip.

“you completely counteract it, you hag. wasting all of dad’s money just to burn away in the sun.”

“you seem to forget it’s my money too,” the woman sneers, sunglasses worth more than your tuition perched on top of her head. “we work in the same field, have you forgotten that?”

eunbi rolls her eyes as she ignores the woman entirely, turning her attention to jiwoon who’s currently stuffing his face.

you would’ve been sitting there a lot more unnerved if it weren’t for your daiquiris, probably what’s making you so bold right now to play footsie with seonghwa under the table.

he shot you a look after the third time you did it, eyebrow quirked and a low scoff leaving his mouth as he narrows his eyes at you; but when you did it again, dragged your foot up his leg until it was nearing his thigh, he let out a cough before asking eunbi about your plans for tomorrow.

“you guys going to the beach again?” he asked, his voice strangled and deep causing you to bite back a smirk.

“i think so!” eunbi chirps happily, looking over to your body next to her. “right, y/n?”

you smile at the girl as you nod your head, your eyes moving from her back to seonghwa, who’s watching you with a slightly unrestrained gaze. something that would usually make you feel nervous if you weren’t having so much fun, the tight look in his eye and they way it looks like he’s about to break.

“yeah, we’ll be at the beach mr. park,” you tell him, voice completely polite and neutral but your eyes holding a different type of desire. something teasing and soft and playful, your foot trailing back on his leg as he takes a sip from his drink.

“me and my friends are going to the spa,” ms. park remarks, your eyes not even bothering to look at her. “would you wanna come eunbi? i think their daughters might be joining us, too.”

your friend looks to you with a curious expression, no part of her wanting to be with her mother but a full body massage or seaweed wrap sounding ah-mazing right about now.

“y/n, would you wanna go?” eunbi chirps, “we deserve a nice massage. i think they even do manis and pedis.”

you look to eunbi and she can tell immediately that the answer is gonna be a no, your eyes finally flicking to mrs. park to see her unamused expression. bored and blank and utterly disgusted by your presence, lips pulled into a tight line that she forces into a fake smile.

“whatever you wanna do eunbi,” you mumble, moving your gaze back to the girl. “i have some extra money so i’m good to do whatever.”

you feel seonghwa’s foot kick you from underneath the table, your eyes flicking up to see a playful expression on his face. your lips pull into a soft smile, eyes immediately dropping so you don’t stare at him for too long.

“yay! that’ll be so fun then!” eunbi claps excitedly, “maybe dad and jiwoon could go golfing or something.”

“maybe we want a massage too,” jiwoon says, seonghwa raising his beer and pointing toward the man a the end of the table.

“the man’s right. we deserve them, too.”

“then let’s all go!” eunbi squeals, mrs. park rolling her eyes as she takes a sip of her wine. “dad, i think you would like a fish pedicure! sweet little fish swim around and eat away at all the disgusting-”

“i was kidding, bi,” seonghwa chuckles, rising to his feet and standing tall - his arms are out and tanned from the past few days in the sun. “and i don’t think i’d like fish eating my feet. is the bathroom inside?”

“no, mr. park, we actually have to piss in the ocean.”

seonghwa looks to jiwoon who’s smiling at him like a wise ass, seonghwa flicking a chip at him before he rounds the table. a waiter passing by with food comes down the same aisle outside, seonghwa pressing up against your back to make room.

it’s nothing to either of you, the contact so familiar and comfortable that neither of you even flinch. his hands rest on your shoulders and you only tense the slightest bit, eunbi and jiwoon distracted by the mention of fish pedicures to notice.

but because you try to avoid her like the plague, you don’t notice mrs. park’s gaze.

her lips pursed and cat-like eyes studying the both of you, intently watching as seonghwa’s eyes soften and he quietly mumbles an apology.

how easy and natural your touches and smiles are.

you lift your head up to stare up at him, both of your eyes twinkling and soft and full of such affection, the smile lighting up your face ensuring the woman’s previous suspicions are correct.

something seems to be going on between her husband and her daughter’s best friend.

spring break - night five

it was like you and seonghwa almost got a little too lucky - mrs. park going out with her friends the same night eunbi and jiwoon were busy with date night, leaving the both of you to do whatever you wanted for the night.

you didn’t think it was smart to frolic around the town or beach, where they could very well spot you with ease, but that didn’t mean you couldn’t have your fun.

you stayed in your room together watching tv and kissing playfully, all very juvenile and casual as you currently laid out next to him. you and eunbi were at the beach all day, a slight burn on your skin that left your body incredibly drained.

it was just the lazy night you needed, the windows cracked open so the salty air could blow through the room.

“you gotta be careful, baby, sunscreen is key,” seonghwa mumbles, his lips trailing along your shoulder and neck as the tv plays in the background. “how do you think i look so good at thirty nine? a dilf, some would sa-”

“shut up!” you squeal with a giggle, smacking him in the stomach as you roll on top of him.

he sits back on the bed with a smile, admiring the view of you on top of him and your pretty, smiling face. your skin is glowing from the days of sun, hair still damp from your shower and falling perfectly.

“i should’ve just kept my mouth shut. you obviously let it get to your head.”

“i’m not agreeing with you, i’m just reminding you,” he hums, his hands running up and down your sides gently. “in case you ever get sick of being with an old man like me.”

a pout makes its way on your face as you cock your head to the side, meeting his hands on your waist and keeping them there firmly.

“i won’t get sick of you and you’re not old,” you say, a smile lighting up his face as he holds back a chuckle - he was only kidding (mostly) but he’d be lying if he said the reassurance didn’t make him feel good.

“kiss me,” he demands, pulling you down and meeting your lips before giving you a chance to answer.

but he’s lucky that you never seem to get tired of him. never get tired of kissing him or spending time with him or laughing with him.

you never get tired of your long conversations and obnoxious banter, the way he can switch between a distinguished business owner or flirty, playful man not only impressive but incredibly sexy.

he never gets tired of the way you make him realize everyday he’s been missing something in his life. having someone and something that makes his life seem that much more fulfilling and worth it, someone he knows cares about him the same way he cares about you.

he never gets tired of how young you make him feel, keeping him up till all hours of the morning he used to never be able to make.

“are we even allowed to be here?” he whispers hours later, the night sky pitch dark and his hand intertwined with yours.

“why?” you quip, whipping your head back to raise a playful eyebrow at him. “are you scared, mr. park?”

his eyes narrow before he pulls you into him, grabbing you around the waist as a loud giggle leaves your mouth.

you both changed into your bathing suits when you decided to have an impromptu trip to the beach, expressing your want and desire to go night swimming at least once in your life.

and you’re thankful that you did, because seonghwa charged into the (surprisingly warm) clear ocean with zealous you’ve never seen. your giggles loud and booming through the beach before he throws you down, catching you right before you go under.

you wrap your legs around his waist and press a long kiss to his lips, smiling against them as he goes out as far as he can stand - not wanting anyone to see what he’s about to do to you right in the caribbean sea.

his fingers move your bikini bottoms to the side, your face buried in his neck as he curls his fingers in your pussy. he smiles as each and every moan is muffled by his skin, his thumb playing with your clit as his cock hardens painfully in his shorts.

“you like that, baby?” he hums lowly, a different type of thrill coursing through him at doing this right in the open. just looking like a couple swimming and hugging in the ocean, when really, he’s knuckle deep and hitting your g spot.

“you’re always so good for me. i wanna bury my cock in this wet pussy right now, pretty girl,” he growls, aching and growing more and more in his wet bottoms.

“it’s like you were made for me, baby. i fill up your pussy so good, don’t i?”

“yes,” you cry out, your feet wrapped around him trying desperately to push his bathing suit down. you find it desperate and frustrating and annoying but he finds it so utterly humorous.

watching you move against him in hopes of getting his cock out.

“are you that desperate for it?” seonghwa asks, his voice deep and gruff, with a bite you’ve only ever heard a few times; it makes more wetness release and drip down his fingers.

“trying to get my pants down so i can finally fuck you, is that it?” he hums, his hand pulling at the back of your head so you can look at him.

your scalp stings but it makes you let out a moan, the aggression and lust on his face causing tears of pleasure to well in your eyes.

“y-yes, mr. park,” you cry out, a smirk pulling at your own lips when removes his fingers from your pussy and releases his cock. he pulls his pants down just enough for it to spring out, placing you down on him and groaning when you’re wet and tight around him.

the ocean splashes around you and, if anyone could see from the shore, it might be pretty obvious what’s going on. water rippling around you and your body moving up and down his, your moans muffled in his neck and his groans quiet and low.

he comes just as hard as he always does when he’s with you, learning and worshipping your body so well over these past few months. you slack against him for a few moments, catching your breath before jumping down and splashing water at him.

he doesn’t know how you still have so much energy, bouncing around and splashing water at him with loud chuckles and teasing comments.

but he supposes it makes sense because, when you guys sneak back into the villa and quietly make your way into your room, you’re nearly dead on your feet. collapsing into him and whining tiredly against him, all the alcohol from this week and exposure to the sun completely draining you.

you watch the waves outside and the ocean you just fucked in, the pretty night sky casting the faintest hint of light on your faces. he wraps his arms around your shoulders and presses his lips to your shoulder, the two of you swaying in your room quietly and peacefully.

he’s never felt as at ease and relaxed as he does with you. he wants to go on a vacation with just you and him, thinking about how great it would be to actually go out on dates and sleep in the same room together.

“i wish i didn’t have to leave,” he mumbles in your ear, a frown on your tired face as you turn in his hold.

“you don’t have to,” you tell him, fingers toying at his shirt shyly.

his heart breaks ever so slightly, a frown on his face as he raises yours to his. the look in his eye tells you everything you need to know, that, yes, he has to go back because it’d be way too suspicious if he didn’t.

and you both also know eunbi has a habit of just barging in here, unable to have another incident like the one at your apartment weeks ago.

you let out a sigh as you nod your head, his lips pressing against your forehead sweetly. you lean your body into him until he has to catch you, a smirk on his face as he picks you up and brings you to bed.

he stripes you of your damp bikini before slipping a t-shirt over your body, hands trailing up and down your legs until you’re fast asleep. he makes a mental note to send breakfast to your room tomorrow morning, always feeling bad and gutted when he can’t spend the night with you.

his wife is already in the room fast asleep, sleeping on the side closest to the door.

seonghwa disappears into the bathroom to change in pajamas, leaving his wet suit on the balcony outside before slipping into bed; it’s funny that, even in their sleep, the two are as far away from the other as possible.

seonghwa sleeping straight and tall and mrs. park with her back to him, the couple with so much history and shared experiences becoming more and more like strangers every day.

the only thing that mrs. park knows is that seonghwa has never seemed this happy in his life, a different kind of glint in his eye and smile on his face she knows has never been there his entire life with her.

she also can’t help but think his wet bathing suit is suspicious when she wakes up in the morning, looking at her sleeping husband with her lips pursed in thought.

would he really be stupid enough to cheat on her?

spring break - day seven

“okay, okay, where��s our next vacation, y/n?” eunbi asks on the flight home, her head on your shoulder and jiwoon passed out in the window seat.

“bi, we literally just left two hours ago,” you chuckle, looking at the girl with amusement in your eyes.

you didn’t realize how much you needed this vacation until you realized how relaxed you were. holding onto less anxiety about you and seonghwa and, instead, feeling a twinge of hope in your chest.

you’re going back home with only a few weeks left in the semester, about to start your real career and pursue a dream you’ve worked toward despite the challenges you faced.

you have a strong relationship, although fucked up and forbidden, that’s made you feel the happiest and most loved you’ve ever felt in your life.

and you have a best friend in eunbi, the girl currently chatting on your shoulder as she plans not only your combined graduation party but summer vacation together.

“we could have, like, a real graduation party. something more low-key at my house,” she explains, “unless you wanna go away again. i’m totally cool with that too! but i think if we did a tour around europe during the summer, that’d be ideal. get to see everything and pull some eat pray love shit.”

you let out a snort as you nod your head, patting eunbi on the head half lovingly and half please-shut-up-and-let-me-sleep.

“whatever you wanna do, eunbi,” you tell her with a small smile. “we have time for all of this, you know.”

she smiles upon hearing your words, cuddling her head into your shoulder despite the fact that her boyfriend is right beside her.

“you know what, you’re so right,” the girl says, sharing some of her blanket with you as she finds her eye mask. “we’re gonna be bffs! we could go to all the countries if we want.”

before eunbi puts her mask on, she catches her parents a few rows up in a heated argument. her mom with narrowed eyes and an evil look on her face, pointing back toward where the three of you are sitting.

she catches her dad’s expression and doesn’t know what to make, his eyes moving in the same direction before he smiles upon making eye contact with her. she shakes off the weird feeling inside of her as she waves to her father, covering her eyes and cuddling further into your body.

it was two days after the cancun trip that mrs. park started questioning seonghwa.

the piece of jewelry around your neck, the wet bathing suit from 3 a.m., the lingering looks between him and y/n that had her convinced something was going on.

he hadn’t denied it when she called out the $10,000 in his office doorway either, simply looking at his wife with a bored expression when she whipped out the credit card receipt.

“she’s eunbi’s friend, what was i supposed to do?” he asks, “her scholarship fell through and she didn’t have the money. i do.”

his eyebrow quirks at the bitter scoff that leaves her mouth, eyes rolling as a look of disbelief covers her face.

“she’s eunbi’s friend,” she laughed out, her eyes turning crazy and narrowing as she looks at her husband. “she’s a charity case and you gave in to her. she’s been trying to drain money out of our daughter since they first met.”

“watch your mouth.”

"it’s the truth,” she laughs out, the disgust behind her eyes causing an inconceivable amount of rage to build in seonghwa - and it’s like she can see right through that, her cat-like eyes roaming over seonghwa all she needs to know her next statement is as correct as she suspected.

“and then you went and made her your mistress, didn’t you?” the woman asks, her laugh like nails on a chalkboard when his face drops.

“maybe you can clue me in on how that one happened, mr. park.”

(part 3)

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#if anyone knows where the hamburglar quote is from #lmk and u get a special request from urs truly #bc i will be so excited jkvkdfv #seonghwa #seonghwa angst #seonghwa fluff #seonghwa smut #ateez #ateez fluff #ateez angst #ateez smut #seonghwa scenarios #ateez scenarios #seonghwa imagines #ateez imagines

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