#learning things is hard
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I hate trying to learn how to do makeup because like.. My Hands. They Don't Do That.
What do you mean simple and easy eyeliner tutorial. Do that with shakey hands and no concept over how far your hand is from your face. That's how I'm doing it. It doesn't feel easy or simple right now.
I have no hand eye coordination. It just doesn't happen. In fact, it gets worse the closer my hand is to my face.
#i can only do mascara#thats only because i can feel where the brush thing is on my eyelashes#the rest of it is lost to me#My Hands#They Simply Dont#fine motor skills#are my worst enemy#like#i genuinely have no concept of how far the eyeliner pen is from my face until it touches my eyelid#then i have little to no control over where it actually applies because i have the shakeiest hands#i want to figure it out#but i cant handle sitting in front of the mirror and staring at my face while repeated fucking up#and i have ultra hooded eyes so no tutorials even come close to looking like my eyes#all the hooded eye tutorials are not actually hooded or they are only mildly hooded#i got the 'whole eyelid disappears when open' hooded eyes#they got the 'partially obscured eyelid when open' hooded eye#and i dont like the way the eyeliner pen feels#its cold and bad#and i hate it#>:(#eyeliner#makeup#beginner#learning things is hard#now that i think about it#the hand eye coordination thing and the hating the eyeliner feeling thing are both probably because of#neurodivergence#its the neurodivergency#text post#text
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i wanted to draw wuhluhwuh but im not obsessd with anything rn so im revisiting 👍
#sylvaina#hello..#my art#i remember always struggling so hard with sylvanas hair in highschool im glad i learned a thing or two since then LOLL
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Columbo and the Knight (1984)
put me in the universe where Columbo ran through the 1980s and had a crossover episode with Knight Rider. I think they deserved it, and I am not just saying that because they're my two favorite Old Shows. @telebeast wrote a little fanfic blurb about it and I HAD to visualize it into a comic (which is also the longest comic I have finished thus far at five pages...), so writing credit goes to them.
Autism W!
#columbo#knight rider#art#michael knight#kitt#comic#highlight reel#crossover#telebeast#there are two small easter eggs here. can you find them. they were somehow not Entirely lost when i resized these for the public#this is what i mean when i say I Draw And It's Everyone Else's Problem. look at my INCREDIBLY niche crossover comic boy#if the knight rider fandom has like 12 people in it. how many of y'all have seen columbo#this comic is for like 4 people and me and phoenix are already two of them#niche is my specialty lets be real. weird niche obscure shit and ships nobody's paid attention to yet#not to suggest this is ship art. columbo has his wife and michael has his car lmfao#stylizing real people is EXTREMELY hard btw sorry for when they get off model. its partly a 'better imperfect than never finished' situatio#cant tell you how much i redrew some of these panels. weeps#this took me 2 weeks but i think i thumbnailed it all in may and the ideas been rollin around in my head since march#is anybody good at editing. please edit michael and columbo into an image together like its a screenshot. NOT generated. edited.#it would be so cool#ive drawn columbo a lot but i haven't drawn a lot of michaels. i was learning things about his outfit AS I WAS DOING THE DAMN#COLORS ON THIS. all the lines done. it was too late to change anything. i did all the lines and colored page by page#i realized my mistakes on like page 3. 1 and 2 were already done. it was Too Late.#imagine it though. them working a case together. switching between the more serious tone of columbo vs the goofier#action antics of michael and kitt. columbo being so impressed by Modern Technology. there's more i could say but phoenix may write#more of this crossover and i don't want to spoil it :'3#there's opportunity here though i swear. there's gold to be dug.#i like how kitt gets shading but columbo's junker peugeot doesn't. kitt looked wrong without any. columbo's car is matte and dirty#i also applied effects to this to make it look a little film-grainy and VHS like. some CRT TV vibes#the only question left is. did they put knight rider into columbo; or columbo into knight rider 🤔
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[Savior Faire: Challenging] Bust a sick fucking move.
#he will gain the honor and respect of the nightclub by whipping out that saturday night fever shit#rotoscoped from that solo scene#did i spend too long on this......... yes...#he must DANCE i recommend to around 125 bpm#disco elysium#harry du bois#kim kitsuragi#disco elysium fanart#disco elysium animation#harrykim#animation#gif#my first ever 🙈 quite the learning experience! HARD. insanely HARD even for little things#chicken scratch#reuploaded for minor tweaks. the more obvious mistakes i'm leaving because i can't be bothered. LOL
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I want to post this here too because I’ve seen it happen a few times

Please understand that there are cultural differences and language differences, if you see this happening let the person clarify what they meant, that person might just not be familiar with words the western side of the internet use
#bearz rambling tag#no it’s not really possible to let everyone who uses this term to change#because as far as I know this is the most common word with use on Chinese websites#I didn’t know that pairing are called ‘ship’ here#like why would I even know that#‘ship’ makes zero sense to me#it took me a while to learn the fandom language people speak here#it’s hard#give people time#shipping culture is very different too#Like on Chinese site you HAVE to clarify the Top and the Bottom of this ship in the ship name#it is very very important to them#people who like the same ship but with different Top Bottom preference will fight till no end#imagine how confused I was when I first got here#where there’s no top bottom differences#it’s not really a smut thing#it’s more a dynamic thing#AxB and BxA is very different#oh I can talk so much about the differences on fandom cultures#if ya are interested in more please feel free to ask#it’s very interesting to me#I wanna talk about it
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An oh moment of sorts
#sonic movie universe#stobotnik#agent stone#dr ivo robotnik#stone is learning some things. not necessarily the ones robotnik is trying to teach him#robotnik: being a common idiot must be hard. they're very slow to react sometimes#stone: *loading*#pre canon stobotnik my beloved#i like to think stone hated robotnik at first#that kind of devotions must be earned u know?#I was going to include stone's thoughts here#but i decided it was funnier if we just don't know#anyway i have at least one more joke for them so i'll be back
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Drew a bunch of Marinettes in a bunch of different artists styles it was a lot of fun!!
Artists who's styles I mimicked: @buggachat @hamsternamedmarinette @ladybeug @sabertoothwalrus and @anna-scribbles all epic artists 🤟😎
#my art#marinette dupain cheng#miraculous ladybug#miraculous fanart#style mimic#sorry for the @s btw#yall should go follow those artists if you dont already also#this was sort of inspired by a post the three artists on the top row made#i think they all got together and drew with one another#which is really cool#but i was genuinely confused because i mimic styles a lot#and ive seen others do it too so i was just like#wow they really know each others styles really well#until i thought about it and read their posts some more#style mimicking is really freaking fun and i think its really good practice#and a good way to explore other ways of doing things#like you really have to learn new techniques and get out of your comfort zone#also anna scribbles i could not find a recent pic of marinette in her main outfit#so thats the only marinette i drew in different clothes cuz i couldnt find a more recent ref of you drawing it#anna scribble marinette has privileges thats the others dont#but ye#i also threw my own style in there as a frame of reference to what me draw like#ive drawn marinette before just not in a loooong while#sabertooth walrus was the hardest for me to mimic cuz they have a broad range in their style#so its like which sabertooth do i wanna be in this pic#Buggachat has such a distinct style thats very clean and consistent which is amazing so they were easy#being easy or hard arent bad things either it also has to do with like styles meeting up with one another#buggachats and mine arent too too different in some shapes and aspects#so yeah itd be easier plus they drew marinette like 3 sec ago so i have more recent of a ref#as opposed to sabertooth who i have a recent ref of ladybug but not marinette so we got two diff styles in one
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Sometimes at work it's not my place to tell people the things I want to say, and I find I often go home at the end of the rougher days to stand blankly in my shower and tell myself over and over what I wish I could pass on.
This accomplishes very little, and mostly just gives me a tension headache, but through it all I think I've narrowed myself down to a few solid things I'd like to tell people the most.
You can't change people. Not permanently, not for anythig. You can support them, encourage them, love them, give them tools and opportunities and resources, but you can't make them change. They can change themselves if they want to, but they have to want to, and they have to want it for themselves, because they're the only one that's certain to be with them forever.
For better or worse, you make your own choices, and blaming bad choices on others doesn't only work to absolve you of responsibility- it also robs you of control. Because if you say you only did something because I did something, then you arent only shifting blame- you're admitting that you cannot control yourself, that you cannot truly make choices for yourself, that other people can control you- and as long as you truly beleive that, you'll keep facing the same problems over and over. You'll keep letting others dictate your choices, because you'll beleive that they can, and you'll never be free.
White knights on horseback are from fairytales. Nobody can help you if ou're not willing to help yourself. To try, to put the dirty work in, to belive you're worth that effort- Act as though nobody is coming to save you. From a struggle, from pain, from bad relationships, from yourself. And when you do save yourself, because you will, because failure here isn't an option if you want to survive, you'll never find another dragon that can keep you prisoner.
Don't say anything to anyone that you wouldn't want them remembering forever.
Doing the right thing in bad circumstances is hard. It's the hardest thing. But if you make the choice to do that hard thing anyways, despite your fear, you'll go on the rest of your like knowing that you're the sort of person who did something.
The present only seems the hardest because the past I over and the future hasn't happened.
There's so much joy ahead of you, the kind you can't possibly understand until you see it yourself.
The responsibility of consequences is often disguised as the power of permission. "I won't do this if you help me", "I'll work on my anger if you do this for me", "I promised you I'd quit, but can I have just one?". The unspoken question is, "Can it be your fault if this goes badly?"
You cant make someone love you the way you need to be loved. Someone can love you very much and still be bad for you, even if you love them very much in return. Two people can love each other very, very much, and try their very best, and still be wrong for each other.
Sometimes being near to someone changes you, even in good ways, and the people you become don't fit together as well as the people you were.
Caring takes work. Even if it's real. Especially if it's real. And the most important gestures aren't the grand, poetic, songs-and-flowers-and-tears moments; they're getting out of bed even though you don't want to. Paying attention to things you don't enjoy. Scrubbing pans, or opening a window, saying "thank-you", or helping carry groceries into the house. The small things fill the big things- without the small, boring, mediocre things, big things feel hollow.
Thrre is honour and dignity in humble work.
If you are a cruel and spiteful person, then you will find every place you visit to be full of the same cruel, spiteful people. This is not because the world is as cruel as you, but because everywhere you are, you will be disliked. This is the curse that comes with being persistently cruel and spiteful.
If you are a kind and ppsitive person, you will repeatedly encounter kind and positive people, because as they grow familiar with you, they will be happier to have you near. This is the reward of being a kind and positive person.
When splitting paths with loved ones, briefly or forever, aim for your last words to always be "I love you".
#I'm still so young and ignorant#but I wish someone had told ME these things before I had to learn them#And now when shit goes south and everything is over and calm again the same things just roll though my head#Over and over and over#It's like everyone I meet has the same 3 problems and its ruining their lives#I just want to take everyone I meet by the shoulders and shake them#I KNOW why this is happening to you#Do you realize you can be better?#Do you realize you can do it?#Aren't you terrified of wasting your life like this?#*I* want to be happier#*I* used to be so much worse than I am#And I don't have it all figured out#But if we all decide to help ourselves then it'll be that much easier to help each other#Right?#It's so hard to lift dead weight#You need to kick against the waves with me#You need to WANT to float#Do you understand#Ugh it's 6am#This has been your overdramatic midnight ramble#Imma grill me a cheese and go back to bed#Blaurfhgh
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This is what happened after 3.1 isn't it?
#hsr#phaidei#phaidei nation I humbly offer thee a low quality meme to cope with the doomed yaoi that was going on#phainon#honkai star rail#fellas is it gay for your red coded rival to your blue coded rival to clasp his hands over your own after you stabbed him#due to thinking he was the objective of your revenge quest#pull your sword deeper in and by consequence add to your proximity while smiling and fondly say “Found you.”?#Was it casual when you had an insanely charged and homoerotic scene in the hot baths that had you face down on the ground at his feet?#no but seriously these two have me in a chokehold#what do you MEAN you told him your precise weak spot just in case you became you turned against his cause#and his presumed future EMIYA Archer coded shadow self immediately went precisely for it?#and you KNOW you'll die with a wound in that weak spot in your back and you told him about it anyway#and you tell people to keep an eye on him after you go to meet your fate and then ask him to watch over your people#and he says he'll work hard to learn your language#AND FINALLY#“If there's a chance in the next life you should come visit my library.” WHAT IF I PERISHED ON THE SPOT?!#that's their “See you in the next world.”; their “Do stay alive. I wish you the best of luck.”;#their “I would have really liked just doing laundry and taxes with you.”; “You were a wonderful experience. You were everything.” etc etc#they make me ill (positive)#also I find it so funny that as a KevinSu shipper in HI3rd I went into Star Rail expecting for the dynamic to be more coded with Anaxa#only for Phaidei to hit literally all of my points and favorite tropes in a ship and by consequence my head with a steel chair lol#really hope we see Mydei again soon because literally the first thing Phainon does after he's gone is talk about him all the time#he is a professional yearner and I respect him for it (especially since I too miss Mydei as if he's Odysseus going off to war and sea#for 20 years and I'm Penelope waiting at the shores of Ithaca)#also sorry for the low quality screenshot I was literally too invested in the quest to try and take better ones#gotta love how Hoyoverse is always giving the Kaslanas some of the best romances in their games and ESPECIALLY so if they're queer#myphai
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playing around w slightly different hair renders
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#jjk art#yuji itadori#megumi fushiguro#itafushi#fushiita#yuuji#megumi#cries megumi fought tooth n nail..... i refused 2 flip the canvas tho >:(#i vastly prefer drawing him facing right bc fr some reason it makes his hair look better silhouette-wise#so having him face left is alr a Challenge#but also having him slightly look down (difficult angle + changes the silhouette) had me bashing my head in2 th TABLE#same thing happened earlier this month w gardening megu middle pose . i did not learn my lesson#but even worse w this one yuuji's head is blocking th main pointy part tht basically carries the entirety of the shape language#u can imagine my distress i am sure#anyway th render made me a lot happier with it thank god. colours hard carry bless <3333#i didn't plan on making it a full sheet but i needed 2 remind myself that im good at drawing megumi#so i threw in solos of each of them n tried slightly different render flavours#idk how Different all of them look visually but th process fr each ws Very different so i am satisfied#fight aside this ws useful i think! got 2 break out some Clunkier chalks n dust off a few of my smoother blended brushes#think i picked up some things i can keep also !! which ws. u kno. the Goal#tbh every time i do art studies i feel like i am kirby#one time i got called an art ditto by one of my fav artist mutuals when i did a style challenge#SUCH high praise from her it lives in my mind i take it out on days when i feel like trash#it doesnt Sound good when u say u r good at copying but real talk it is such a good skill i am very happy 2 have it in my arsenal
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MDZS Severance AU: Get me out of here.
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#mdzs au#mdzs modern au#severence#It is imperative to this AU that outie WWX and LWJ 1) know each other and 2) dislike the each other.#Meanwhile their innies are actively misusing their allotted breaktime to kiss sloppy style.#I know that some people might feel strongly against WWX being pro-severence here but here me out:#the pitch for severance would absolutely appeal to him. Letting another version of him to the hard work? Not remembering it?#Yeah... he would be absolutely into the idea at the start. I think once he learned more about it he might shift his stance.#As much as most people like to see him as a morally upstanding guy...#...the severance procedure 100% sounds like something he would write a theoretical paper on. if not *invent*.#I'll be back later to write more thoughts. Today's comic is unfortunately brought to you by stomach acid woes.#leaning over to draw was really uncomfortable and painful and I'm not really thinking well at the moment.#Sorry today's comic is both late and sloppy.#Edit: Okay my health is getting back to par so my brain is back online.#So glad many people are on-board or agree with ‘Pro-Severance Outie WWX’. It just fits too well.#Okay LWJ analysis time. I’d put him in O+D with NHS. for the hijinks and just how their characters would function in that role.#LWJ’s innie is caught with a sense of loss and longing. Something is missing. He’s never alone but always lonely.#WWX’s Innie feels the hollowness that outie WWX denies and buries in distraction and work.#Both their outies are Constantly on the move and working. Their outies connect over a slow day.#Two people who both feel empty and see that emptiness in each other.#WWX would have been in the basement for years. LWJ is new and struggling to adjust. They ignite each other’s will to fight.#…This AU might pull another comic from me at this rate. I have a few more things to say.
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The more confidently certain Murderbot is that no bots have genders or any interest in sex or romance the less likely it sounds. Really? None of them?
Like how bot pilots can only communicate in images?
Or how a human could never really be friends with a bot?
Or how SecUnits are never friends with each other?
It keeps making these sweeping generalisations about things it doesn't have a lot of data outside of its own lived experience to support, and its experience is not universal.
At this point I would not be surprised if Iris hit MB in the face with the revelation that ART hates Holism because they were involved before Holism fucked around and left it for Sum Total.
#No dopamine = no point#My dude (gn) positive reinforcement is one of the three basic machine learning paradigms#You think there's no reward signal to be hijacked for getting nasty?#Be serious#All of these bots were designed by humans#Infinite monkey rules say some of the things we build with self-determination and curiosity will be curious about sex#Anyway Holism is lucky it doesn't have eyes because Iris would go for them#It knows what it did#And the University should stop trying to arrange missions so that Peri and Holism “just happen” to be assigned together#We all wanted it to work out but they have to let it go#Do you know how hard it is to console a spaceship through a break-up#It can't even eat ice-cream#Iris can't do this again#murderbot#the murderbot diaries#murderbot diaries#asshole research transport#perihelion#tmbd#secunit#Holism
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been trying to actually learn how to draw this guy so i can make him do miku dances
#how tf do people learn how to draw like 30 different transformers. this was so hard lol#fern's sketchbook#uhhh. how do people tag things in this fandom#transformers#tailgate#mtmte#transformers mtmte#? idk good enough lmfao
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Lisa ❤️
#lisa silverman#persona#persona 2#next thing im trying to learn is drawing in perspective. its pretty hard ngl but we getting there
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I know you, so I know when you are hurt, but I cannot help you if you do not allow me to.
#life#spilled thoughts#love#spilled ink#spilled words#spilled writing#spilled poetry#star struck09#life quotes#writing#relationships#friendship#romance#love quote life quotes#life learning#life lessons#life is hard#life is strange#girlhood#thinking out loud#thought daughter#introspection#writers on tumblr#introspective#love quotes#been thinking about this a lot lately#relationship#literature#i still love you#things you’ll never hear from me
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Thinking about Cassian in the hangar, deferential and respectful, standing a solid 2-3 metres away from Jyn who was just belittled and dismissed and is expecting him to heap on. And saying, fuck what my bosses all agreed on. "I believe you." And how much weight that has, because he was a good soldier who followed orders even when they meant getting innocent blood on his own hands. And yet faced with this choice that seems comparatively reasonable, that seems like an order that would be a relief compared to most of his previous ones - an order that is protecting the existing rebels, that was presented as preventing needless bloodshed, all at the small cost of telling one young woman who isn't even part of their group "sorry, you clearly believe this very strongly and it clearly took you a lot to bring this to us, but we are choosing not to believe you" - he says, no. He decides that believing this one woman is worth going rogue for just as much as every justified, terrible act before that would have been worth going rogue to prevent.
Thinking about how much that meant to me when I saw it at age 20, in ways I couldn't even explain until a few months later, when for the first time in my lifetime, believing women became a thing people talked about.
Thinking about a man getting the job to make a prequel for this movie years down the line, and setting out to make the show progressive and political. Thinking about that man not seeing a problem in taking Cassian's deliberately, desperately blind following of rules until this woman away from the story. Thinking about how this likely wasn't a malicious choice. How, to the male show writers, this scene was just a bunch of people talking in a hangar, this was just the lead-up to a cooler more interesting action sequence. Thinking about how clearly, something about the way Cassian was so deferential for most of the movie, deferential in the same way towards his powerful male commanding officer and towards this woman he didn't know but chose to believe and follow into hell, rankled with these writers. Not enough so they'd criticise it outright, maybe not even enough that they noticed it bothered them. But enough to change it.
Thinking about that.
#thinking about how none of these men understood that was the hottest thing any man ever did on star wars too tbh#andor critical#andor#cassian andor#jyn erso#rogue one#i'm trying so hard to be fair to them and i really do think this is partially a personal issue just for me and what i like but also.#ALSO THO#tony gilroy#i hope someone brings these critiques to you man. i really hope you get the chance to learn to see how callous your stories are.#meta
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