#long thread

[verdantwyrm]

In Defense of Curly (Again)

This post is not about absolving Curly of his “sins” or anything, Curly is not an innocent angel that has done no wrong, no, he is morally grey as they come. But I will not stand for slander on my wife NO MORE. Curly is not as guilty as you would think, but neither is he Innocent. Anya is so much more than a victim, Curly is so much more than a bystander, and Jimmy is so much more than a rapist, they are multifaceted characters in a very multidimensional game. They’re all characters that have been individually crafted to tell a story, and everyone is avoiding that by reducing them to a singular note of events rather than their entire personality and even going as far to twist their dialogue and character to fit their own bias, ignoring whats actual factual and canon for the sake of projection.

So with that out of the way, let us begin.

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A sense of timeline for better understanding.

Curly's Psych Eval (and by extension, Jimmys) was 7 Days before the crash. Curly does not know Anya is pregnant here. 

The birthday Party is 6 Days before the crash. Curly doesn't know here either. 

The Dead Pixel scene is 2 Days before the Crash. Curly doesn't know here either. 

Anya stealing the gun is 1 Day Before the Crash. Curly Finds out Anya is pregnant here and that Jimmy is responsible. Anya tells Jimmy about the pregnancy and tells Curly about it. 0 Days before the crash (The Same Day)

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Pony Express’ Abuse

As for the first subject, I want to make it very clear about Pony Express’ Failure to comply and have any standard safety measures (most noticeably in the lack of locks) and the fact that they very often penalize their employees by taking from their pay and that they’re extremely lazy and known to cut corners for everything. The poster in-game tells us a lot about this if not backed up directly by the dialogue.

"Proper preparation prevents accidents, it is your responsibility to keep yourself and the crew safe. Medical expenses will be docked from person credits."

"Punctual delivery is our pride and promise- No matter where you are! Late deliveries will be docked from personal credits."

"Teamwork is the soul of success! When you have completed your tasks, always check on other tasks! HR complaints about poor team synergy may result in collective punishment"

"Sleep is the best rest after a long day of work, earn that rest! Don't overdo it or fall behind! Do not indulge in over 5 hours of forest, including leisure time. Sleeping over the allowed budget will result in disciplinary actions."

Neither Curly nor Jimmy are getting anything close to the required amount of rest for such a demanding job, with only 5 hours compared to the IRL guidelines for pilots to get an average of 10 hours of rest between shifts with 8 hours of sleep, it's also implied by Anya and Curly's own dialogue that he struggles to sleep. Which all together implies that they're both working 19-hour shifts every day. Every. Single. Day.

We see them both on shift at the same time multiple times during the game and Curly is the only one with clearance to make certain extremely important navigation decisions (like turning off the autopilot) and we can easily come to the conclusion that they are both extremely overworked, Curly Especially.

We can easily see that Pony Express are not shy to punish their employees and even goes as far as to routinely engage in collective punishment, and this is shown to be the drive behind a lot of Curly's decisions in particular, especially with how he reassures Anya that her stealing the gun case will not go on the performance log and reducing the chances of her being punished at all and to probably put the pressure onto himself in case Pony Express does find out. Given her precarious financial situation, she literally cannot afford to have her pay docked and Curly knows this.

Pony Express is known for its laziness, negligence and its ability to cut corners, they are also seen to not trust its employees by making everything have to go through him from axe usage to making a cake. To not supplying enough medical equipment, a fifth cryogenic pod to account for Daisuke or even to account for him at all. Curly himself even commented on how he should have made a bigger “stink” about the situation of Daisuke being thrown on the Tulpar last minute, which implies that he did raise this as an issue and a safety risk and was ignored.

I'm not going to take this as seriously but it is worth mentioning regardless because it is just absolutely Kafkaesque levels of absurd, They actively make it borderline impossible to report anything, so even if Curly or Anya were able to get ahold of Pony Express to send in a report, they never could due to the requirements and the prerequisites. It also implies that if you apply for a job there but refuse the medical evaluation, they can fine you despite the fact that you don't even actually work there yet.

Another classic example of Marx's theory is of the alienation in capitalism, wherein workers are estranged and separated from the products of their own labour. The crew had absolutely no idea what they were delivering, and judging by how much was put in place, they were never supposed to.

Marx's theory, the implementation of automation would negatively impact workers by depriving them of job opportunities that could have been filled by humans. This is strongly suggested to be the primary reason for the downfall of Pony Express and why the crew was fired.

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Anya’s Assault

Anya being assaulted is never outright said, with an intentional layer of vagueness layered over the top with how she talks about it and how she mentions it to Curly. The words “Assault” “Rape” or even “Attacked” are not mentioned at any point, we only learn this through visual imagery and subtext of Anya mentioning the lack of locks on the doors, how unsafe she feels around Jimmy, and she would rather him not have the gun at all—fawning at his every response in a panic of upsetting him or escalating the situation. The words are never explicitly said as many other victims can sympathise with, saying the words out loud can be very difficult sometimes, and Anya’s vagueness was intentional on the happenchance that Curly did take Jimmy’s side. She was trying to put distance between herself and that possibility by being as cautious and as vague as she could, in hopes that Curly would pick up on the signs himself and come to that conclusion himself instead of Anya babying him and dumbing down the situation.

This is a believable reaction, especially when your abuser has any kind of power over you or other people, and he isn’t the only one either. Curly has just as much power, if not significantly more over her, which adds more to the fear of even mentioning such a thing, as mentioned earlier in my section of Pony Express' Abuse towards them, the possibility of being penalized with her– and everyone else –pay being docked because she made a simple complaint, was a very real threat, and even more dangerous after finding out about the whole crew being laid off. Jimmy tears her down every chance he gets, makes her feel little and even compares her to Polle in his hallucinations. And Anya knows that he and Curly have a very lengthy history, so her caution and anxiety about even mentioning the incident, let alone saying the word “rape” is borderline impossible for her. It’s a manifestation, it’s a verbal acceptance and confession that it’s even happened. Something she has been trying to avoid coming to terms with.

And when she does eventually tell Swansea what happened, as much as you want to think she told him- she most likely told him to not do anything, to try and keep the peace for as long as possible.

Again, her vagueness is not her fault, nor is it her responsibility. It was Jimmy’s responsibility to not abuse and rape her.

It’s also very present that Jimmy is verbally abusive to her, putting her down at every opportunity by ignoring her very talented medical skills by saying Pony Express only hired her to cut corners in an attempt to reduce costs because she failed Medical School and that she’s not a “real nurse” because of that, and how he constantly questions her skills despite keeping Curly alive for such a long time in such a state.

After being insulted by him multiple times, she fawns to get him to actually do something beneficial because she knows he responds well to praise, and he complies, all while still insulting and belittling her for being "weak" and "sentimental"

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The Dead Pixel In The Room

Going to immediately preface this with a very big obvious “Curly did not know Anya was raped” warning sign to hopefully weed out the weak that don’t want to actually read this. You can leave now if you’d like, no hard feelings. This scene is supposed to be your first clue as a player, as well as Curly's. It's intentional to be like that, it makes the most sense chronologically as well because up until that point, we don't even know.

Okay, we can start now. First, off the bat, I want to talk about that dead pixel scene. And how both Anya and Curly have their own individual meanings behind It, and how both play into each character’s relationship with Jimmy. With Anya’s being a constant reminder of Jimmy’s presence, how it affected her and how it’ll always be there no matter what. And Curly’s is something that he knows exists, but cannot see for himself, because he’s too busy looking at the bigger picture. Even if he knows it's fake, even if he knows it’s an illusion.

He doesn’t doubt her here either, and even though he admits he cannot see it. He believes that it's there, despite this, and that it doesn’t ruin the image. Choosing to see the good, the beauty, of the bigger picture. The Dead pixel scene isn’t just about Anya, it’s about the both of them. And you’re probably asking how Curly hasn’t gotten the point Anya is trying to make, and thats again because she’s being intentionally vague here, and her comment about the lack of locks ties up pretty well with the previous two conversations she’s had with Curly directly. Complaining about Jimmy being weird during the psych evaluation and then her pithy comment about Pony Express’ cutting back expenses on their food and the comment she makes about the code scanner during the birthday party.

All of her previous conversations with Curly have been about their work or something going on in the ship or even with Pony Express directly. So it’s not unusual for her comment about the lack of locks on the sleeping quarters, it’s not random, it’s pretty on theme with the direction of how their conversations go, Curly wouldn’t pick up on that alone because it’s not a strange thing to say.

It's also very much shown that Anya trusts Curly, trusts him enough to not only confide in him first about the pregnancy but also allow herself to be open and friendly with him, even going as far as to try and get him to open up to her during his psych evaluation. She is also hiding behind his seat when she steals the gun. She feels the safest when she is with the real captain and how uncomfortable she is listening to Jimmy's orders to strip Curly of that title.

Every single time that Curly and Anya speak directly, he is always reassuring her, attempting to calm her down and her safety is the first thing he's concerned about when he finds out she's taken the gun.

And once she mentions the pregnancy, his priorities flip, again to her safety, reassuring her that she won't get punished for this. Once again telling her that everything is going to work out, that WE will fix this, WE WILL figure this out TOGETHER. He and Anya.

A key important word here is "what would you have done"

Would. Not, what will you do, no she's asking in past tense. The assault has already happened, she is reassuring herself here before telling him about the pregnancy that he is on her side, that he believes her and that her trust in him isn't misplaced.

And when he does find out she's pregnant, he still doesn't know exactly how. And it's important because it reflects back onto how Curly does ultimately behave when he does approach Jimmy. He doesn't know he's confronting a rapist, and his dialogue here proves that he does just think it was ultimately her choice, her decision. And the most painful part Is the very blatant unwanted pregnancy, not anything else.

Anya is still being intentionally vague here as well, as mentioned earlier. Curly did not actually know that Anya was raped, as the only thing that's mentioned is the pregnancy and that Jimmy is involved. Which is absolutely something to be worried about, regardless of how it happened, because they're on a ship. In the middle of Space.

Someone who knew would not react like that. Curly never once doubts Anya's words or her truth. And after Anya tells Culy about how she told Jimmy about her pregnancy, Curly says that she should have waited for him because he wanted to be there just in case.

Curly even does it literally. The most important part that everybody overlooks is how determined he is to get to the cockpit as the ship is crashing. He knows it's crashing but all he can do is try, he could have run away, but he didn't.

Curly took responsibility multiple different times which is easily overlooked because so much happens in such a short time span that people literally think he had months between knowing about Anya being raped and then the crash when it was barely a day. Just like how people easily overlook the dead pixel scene and how it also represents something to Curly as well, and just like how people overlook Anya's "I told you so"

Curly's kind, forgiving and trusting nature is not inherently bad. It was how it was used against him in an extremely difficult situation, which is exactly what Abusers do time and time again. He failed Anya in such a delicate way and in such a difficult situation, but it's something to understand that Pony Express failed her first, failed her in all the most important ways by even allowing a situation like this to happen. It was Jimmy's responsibility to not be a rapist, but it was Pony Express's fault for even enabling that in the first place.

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Curly's Trauma

A very common thing that people tend to overlook, and this is either because they subconsciously forget that men can be victims of abuse, or simply because they don’t care enough to consider Curly to be one– his relationship with Jimmy and what we can glean from is very abusive, emotionally and verbally and then soon later on physically. Curly is just as much a victim of Jimmy's mistreatment and abuse as Anya is, in their own unique and parallel ways, they both had everything taken from them. We can tell in Jimmy’s behaviour and the way he intentionally isolates Curly in the Birthday scene and the Psychological evaluation in the cockpit, Jimmy takes Curly’s weakness and anxieties and twists them around to isolate him from receiving any help or support from others.

Curly’s biggest weakness is his forgiving nature. We all talk about how Anya is a victim of Jimmy, and she absolutely is, but so is Curly. His first immediate response Jimmy's reaction to Anya announcing her pregnancy is met with immense fear and anxiety with the added soundtrack of what could be equivalent to the sound of Curly's heart racing. He freezes, he fawns, he panics.

Curly's good-natured heart, being lax, trusting and a constant mediator isn't inherently a problem. It was the circumstances that turned that so volatile. If Jimmy wasn't who he was and so readily abusive then Curly's character would not be that detrimental, and his actions would not have such a catastrophic impact. And everyone immediately boiling down those harmless traits and villainising them does much more harm than good, especially since the character they should be targeting is Jimmy, not Curly.

He is beyond terrified, and when he does finally get to Jimmy, he immediately fawns and freezes. He makes absolutely no mention of Anya or anyone else because all that mattered in that panicked situation was easing Jimmy down and resolving the situation. There was truly, absolutely nothing that Curly could have done that wouldn't have resulted in either direct consequences or collective punishment. All of Curly's thoughts, behaviour and actions were as carefully thought out as he possibly could in the short 24 hours or so that he was made aware of Anya's pregnancy and Jimmy's involvement.

He is trying to eliminate all potential problems in the situation so Curly can take the full front of Jimmy's rage. This again furthers the point of exactly why Curly wouldn't recognise the signs of Anya being abused as well because this is all so normal for him. He’s terrified of Jimmy, and an abuser's main tactic is to make sure that their victims never feel confident to speak up against them, or to ever seek out help from others. It’s why he never rushes to defend himself, he just lets Jimmy do and say all of these horrible things.

And Jimmy immediately stabs back putting him down. Twisting the blame and putting it into Curly. Like he somehow was a part of it all and that it was his fault.

Curly was and has been a victim of Jimmy's abuse for a very long time on an emotional and mental aspect that clouded his judgements and perceptions in the scenario which devolved into physical and medical abuse very quickly once Jimmy got his chance. And it is also true that Curly had a responsibility to protect Anya as a crew mate and Captain that he failed due to bias towards his abusers, and his kind and forgiving nature of simply wanting to see the good in Jimmy, which is also another aspect of what victims believe. Curly enables Jimmy's behaviour towards himself and even goes as far to completely blame himself for everything that happened in How Fish Is Made.

A lot of victims tend to surround themselves with excuses of why they’re abused, that it’s somehow their fault and that he’s done something awful to deserve it, that this a normal thing that happens, that Jimmy has his reasons to be like this and it isn’t his fault. People argue that Curly should have done more and that he "failed" in any regard is putting a huge expectation onto a victim like him of someone like Jimmy's relentless abuse and how it takes such an impactful toll on someone like Curly. Everyone who plays or watches the game looks over the very easy and subtle warning signs of this abuse and is too busy claiming Curly to be the antagonist here and holding him responsible instead of Jimmy.

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Conclusion + Other Comments

Curly is not perfect, but he is not as guilty as everyone wants him to be. If you go into mouthwashing anticipating Curly as a cruel, selfish monster, of course, you're going to interpret him that way and twist everything he ever does or says to fit your narrative although he very obviously isn't that way at all and get upset when someone tells you you're wrong. You need to remember that he had a whole crew to think of, Curly is not judgement, nor is he the executioner. His hands were absolutely tied and for one reason only: Because Pony Express does, did, and will not care. Pony Express has it explicitly like this so you cannot do anything. So people like Jimmy who manipulate the vulnerable can prey upon his co-workers and get away with it.

The situation on the Tulpar is not as straightforward as people would like, I understand it's extremely cathartic to think of a situation where Jimmy gets what he deserves but it isn't realistic, and thats what this game is trying to say. Abusive corporations, exhausting capitalism, this environment breeds Abusers like Jimmy and victims like Anya and Curly. There was nothing that could be done. Pony Express is what doomed them all, they're the catalyst.

At some point, you have to understand and accept the fact that certain scenarios are simply just cathartic fantasies that simply couldn't have happened. They were all doomed, right from the start. It wasn't just Jimmy's actions (Although they significantly influenced the outcome), and it sure as hell wasn't Curly's inaction. It was Pony Express. I think something that a lot of people get mixed up in their interpretations of Curly is that he's not us, and we're not supposed to be him. Constantly projecting your own fears and experiences onto him to sway your interpretation of his words takes away from the already written-in-stone character he is. You saying "He didn't mean it" when talking about Curly saying he cares about Anya is not only incorrect, but it's YOUR projection onto a character that is already extremely upfront and honest about his intentions and kind personality. He is not malicious, evil, cruel, selfish or misogynistic, so saying that because you interpreted his words to be half-truths or him lying through his teeth to Anya and that his kindness is fake is literally obstructing his character.

Everyone wants them both to be perfect examples of victims and refuses to understand or even believe Curly's situation. Curly DID fail Anya but not for the reason everyone thinks he did.

They're both victims to the same man, they both believe in the best of people (although to their own detriment in a way) they want to find peace, and fulfilment in their career and life. They're so alike in such delicate and intimate ways, that trying to constantly paint Curly as this great, horrible oppressor over her does way more harm than good.

Curly's character is painfully obvious, very very upfront and honest. He is kind, constantly weighed down by guilt and anxiety about his future and career and is being abused by his so-called friend and the company he's working himself to death for that he absolutely hates that just discarded him like he was nothing. Like a lame horse.

Thank you so much to the Mouthwashing Mania Discord server for helping me with this thread! Specifically Mogs for their amazing analysis on Capitalism which can be found here!

Thank you for reaching the end of the thread, please don't be scared to share your thoughts in the tags or in my inbox, I'd love to hear them! good job! (っ˘з(˘⌣˘ ) ♡

[droidsdoodles]

In Defense of Eduardo

Before posting this, a new short was produced that features the fandom's least favorites, Eduardo and Mark! While enjoying the short time we had with them, my dissolved brain noticed something kind of interesting regarding Eduardo and his behavior. Now, this thread is just for headcanon/story-telling fun. If that's not your thing, then click off because it gets whacky. Pretty much I'm annoyed at how were given a character who is both complex and simple at the same time and the fandom doesn't see it.

Alright, from the start! There always been a hazy line between eps, comics and shorts of what is and isn't canon. If you go off "comics aren't canon", then Eduardo and Laurel never dated (No. 195 Ex- Girlfriend) . Which is boring because that takes away a fun aspect to explore with him. Artist x Artist. Or his obsession behavior he has toward Edd (No. 164- Info). This leading to people hc his future self is a detective. So I'm just gonna say it. We don't care. Any material given can be used for hc/story telling. For me, The End happen. If they recon it, then this is all an AU. Back into the short. Its very brief short about Edd throwing away trash in his own Edd way of doing things. The neighbors (minus Jon) are shown observing Edd. Mark is observing alongside Eduardo, but Eduardo is where this gets interesting. Eduardo has some form of depression in Beyond Era. Over the loss of what we assume is Jon. Jon has not made a living appearance yet to this date (3/13/2025). It could be a stylized choice but I say, he not taking care of himself. His hair in other eras, had spikey volume to it.

Now it's drawn downwards. Perhaps he not washing it as often so the build up of mats and oil. Another change are his eyes. Eduardo has always had darken eyebags. But now, they are really darker than before. Lack of sleep, racing thoughts, it all weighing him down. And this is from my own life with depression and anxiety, that I'm pulling examples from.

That out of the way, he holding himself too. Once again, animation and style besides, were gonna add depth for fun. He could be self soothing, by holding his bicep. His facial expression is muted compare to Mark's high eyebrow arch. He looks tired, not really there to mock Edd. Cause he doesn't. Eduardo always says something, does something when Edd is messing around. But here, nothing. Instead, he shakes his head, grits his teeth, AND shuts his eyes. That's very odd if you aren't on the Eduardo is the most emotional man alive train like I am. I could make another thread all about how loud his mind and heart is to have a real-event ocd flashback. The stress line and gritting his teeth, you know he really wants to say something, but he has enough restraint now to hold it back and just rub his bicep and calm down.

Edit: 4:40pm In Laurel's Comic with Eduardo, we see a depressed Eduardo. He might not know Laurel is dead (she too has not made a living appearance yet in Beyond) but we can see that he does not take breakups or death very well. He is ruminating. To repeating dwell or think about something in your past, trying to find answers, reason, anything about the event. This can be due to the sudden departure of Laurel, Eduardo wonders if he did something. If there was any signs she was leaving, not enjoying their relationship. Jon seems to know Eduardo does this as he tries to cheer him up in his own way.

In the most recent comic of the two, Mark attempts to cheer him up, be it more physical to which Eduardo DOES NOT LIKE. It could be for various reasons: he scared he going to hurt Mark, he gonna drop him, that he messing with Eduardo or gay panic. Even that Mark is quite strong and he didn't expect that. But his friends are aware that Eduardo can get quite down on himself and do their best to kick start him back into gear. And this is just a few instances where we seen Eduardo like this. The first big ep, Beaster Bunny. I to this day, don't get how we can make multiple stories about the main 4 (Edd, Tom, Matt and Tord) with various things regarding mental health but don't show an ounce of that to the show current depressed character. Beaster Bunny involved a giant chocolate rabbit terrorizing the easter celebration. Eduardo and Mark show up mid-way. Mark saying "You see, isn't it nice to get out of the house? You can get some fresh air-". Do I need to say anymore? EDUARDO HAS NOT LEFT THE HOUSE IN GOD KNOWS HOW LONG. These are signs he is not feeling that great. He doesn't find joy in leaving his home or joy in events. As they're walking. He once again, holding his bicep. Closed off as he trying to possibly self-soothe, sulk? He doesn't even say anything at Mark line, not even a glance. The rabbit shows up, triggering Mark fear of rabbits who runs away. Eduardo is face to face with something that could kill him. What does he do?

He attempts to go along with the nonsense but he can't even say a funny line. He then APLOGIZES TO THE RABBIT! Because he knows he suppose to act this way, that's what he always done. But his heart isn't there for it. He admits it so. Maybe it what he wanted to say to Mark but didn't want to hurt his friend's feelings. The rabbit not going to say anything either. He then turns and leaves.

Once again WHAT ARE WE DOING!? WHY AREN'T WE LOOKING AT THIS. There is so much potential just from the few seconds we have of him so far. And I'm about to strike gold rn. I went back to The End part 2. To see where that egocentric man finally strikes out and the tower comes crashing down. When he holding Jon, he cries more, there more tears.

And then look at his eyes. I never want to hear that he has no feelings FROM ANYONE. That man is going through all the stages of fear and grief. But it gets worse.

Look at Eduardo's hand placement. One supported Jon's head, the other, cover the wound. I never caught this till today, but he could be applying pressure to the wound. He is trying to keep Jon's blood in his chest as a last ditch effort. When Jon lets out his last breath, he probably felt both his heartbeat stop and his chest stop rising. Signaling Jon had pass. His body pulls back and he just stares down at Jon. Eduardo's eyes tear up, he overwhelmed with emotion and he shuts his eyes and puts his bloody hand on Jon shoulder. You could see this motion as him pulling Jon's body close to HIS OWN CHEST. Probably because his HEART IS SHATTER. So why is it, that nobody wants to write him in future arcs. This man held a dying man, his friend, to his very last breath. Gave us the most emotional reaction to death in the show history. Crickets. He just the grumpy hispanic dude in the corner for yall. And I'm not done. The last part. The patreon Animatic of The End Part 2.

There is a little reversal when Jon passes. Jon used the last of his strength to comfort Eduardo by holding his hand. Their hands just pass each other OR Eduardo pulled his hand back. Either way, that speaks volumes on the two friendship. The show depicted Eduardo as quite mean or bullyish to Jon. But Jon's last moments were to comfort his friend with a poorly timed joke AND to hold his hand right before he pass. Eduardo also visibly cried here. I mean, guys what the fuck.. Eduardo you can argue is currently going through a big character arc. He starts off as bullish and mean to the main 3 and his friend Jon. But PowerEdd shows, this is all a front. He was bullied first and something twisted in him, a trauma response to inflict that same pain onto others. When Edd apologized to him, that was enough for him to switch sides and help Edd. I've ranted about this in another thread if yall are interested. Closing things off, use Eduardo. USE EDUARDO! I feel its a disservice to him as a character not too. He really interesting once you review his behavior and see what makes him act in certain ways. His anger is a front that the fandom still is falling for. A mask, pull it back and you got something pretty compelling to work with in stories and art. Of course, with respect to those with mental illness, do your research so you aren't depicting outdated stereotypes. Tag serious stories or art with triggers if need be. I hope yall enjoy my ramblings. I'm more than happy to discuss Eduardo or the neighbors in general.

[carelessflower]

tuesday & thursday recap 🍣🧉

dont do retail therapy guys

start tuesday with some kick cause it a long long work day i wanna be prepared so spicy noodle with meat. it been so long since i have them IDC I LOVE SPICE 9.5/10

got treated milk tea at the office. taking some space away from matcha latte for a moment and go back to my ex roasted egg cream oreo crust with boba....it so excellent so explosie 9.25/10

so like the usual buffet place i went to, they change so much of their decor like completely 180, that would explain the price change. it look so much? expensive now? which is crazy

grilled oyster and scallop with cheese: 8.5/10. there just something sooooo cheesy about the cheese. like idk how to explain it it the type of cheese i like okay

sea urchin: 3/10, im not seeing any sea urchi anywhere, i like it would their specialty their abalone more

grilled meat and pork rib: 7.5/10. ehhh the quality fine but i dont like the seasoning. also they stop having us able to grill at the table to do it for us, i like it when there more selection on the meat!

shrimp with pineapple sauce: 5/10, like it like shrimp as pineapple candy, no

fried shrimp: 7/10, i only got one but it fine

shrimp with thai sauce: 8.5/10, it taste good but SO spicy like i didnt expect it gonna be THAT spicy

beef: 8.75/10. they got a whole station for fried food where they also make beefstake for you, i love the quality and the sauce omggggggg

sushi and sashimi: 8.75/10. i love those eel rolls, like look at my plate alkdsjdlkgj

thai hotpot: 8/10. instead of having it at the table we would pick ingredient in a bowl and they gonna make it for us. it nice i got lots of mushroom cuz im craving

flan (look at that dessert station): 9/10. love them

tiramisu: 8.5/10. bonus point for having coffee that actually make the cake interesting lmaooo

try some shirt on cuz i notice they have new collection. look at that cute cinnamonroll and miffy. i come over again and they ran out the stripped miffy :<

this vermicilli instant for wednesday morning and the same meat. 7/10 i still want spice

so try this other flavor of the instant pho with spicy i used to try, and steamed egg and lemme just say...aside from the spice they taste exactly the same like the soup base just...the same. like yall lazy 7/10

DE FUCKING STRESS. go to this korean place my friend said was her fave fave lol

fried dumpling and condensed milk: 9/10. something soooooooooo comforting about them even if they like sugar attack. also we got this for free after rating the restaurant

fried pork dipped in sweet and sour sauce: 9/10. i love both sauce but the black one more, it like sour honey

jiajiang ramen: 9.5/10. amazing like the texture the egg yolk the meat add in chilli eat with kimchi and pickled and it SO GOOD LIKE IT SO GOOD

fit check yes this outfit doesnt make much sense im just whimsy

there this new chinese fashion brand open in the mall and it like trendy douyin xiaohongshu style so me and my friend wanna try out. that gray top is soooooo what im drawn too recently but idk about the length. also verdict on this red dress? i left it cuz i dont like dress with no sleeves in general and also the material isnt like cotton it giving...raincoat material kinda

next is this miffy shirt and this kinda lacy thing? idk, i like the color of the miffy shirt

i gotta confess...all of this are from the kids section. it like cuter and cheaper (like 1/2 the price of adult shirt) and also they got a sale going on, and i got it tax off. guess what me got they so cuteeeee

[anarcho-catboyism]

I've been wanting to write a longer thread about this for awhile.

If you're new to the concept of Anarchy, even if you know the basics, you most likely have never heard of Anarcho-Nihilism. If you know basic leftist Ideologies, or just scrolled Political Compass pages, you know of Anarcho Communism, and most people understand there's other branches for marginalized groups like Queer Anarchy, Anarcha Feminism, etc.

This thread will go over Anarcho-Nihilism and the basics of what it is. It will talk to the reader as if you already understand the basic concepts of Anarchy, so if you don't, I recommend reading "Life Without Law" before coming back here.

Anarcho-Nihilism: A Beginners Text To How Fucked We Are

Anarcho-Nihilism is a post-left ideology, meaning that most of the substance of its standpoint are direct criticisms of not just Anarchy, but the leftist movement as a whole, which means Anarcho-Nihilists often reject the label of "Leftist" all-together.

Anarcho-Nihilism is also directly connected to Individualism and Egoism, with more modern Anarcho-Nihilists aligning into Eco-Extremism as well.

Post-Left criticisms, which includes Anarcho-Nihilist criticisms, of the Left include but are not limited to the Lefts view on Organization, Revolution, Unity of Ideologies, Fetishism of Work and Industry, and need of Popularity Politics. We will get into these shortly.

Brief History and Moments of Inspiration

Anarcho-Nihilism takes inspiration from a wide range of people and movements in history, but the earliest "creation" of Anarcho-Nihilism starts with the "Nihilist Movement", which was a Russian movement in the 1860s which focused on attacking traditional ideas of society such as morality, authority, traditionalism, and religion. This came from the growing divide between older radicals and the younger generation who were disillusioned towards older forms of leftist organization and ideas.

Russian anarchist Peter Kropotkin discussed the movement itself, stating "defined nihilism as the symbol of struggle against all forms tyranny, hypocrisy, and artificiality and for individual freedom".

Early forms of Russian Nihilist theory incorporated Egoist theory into its ideas, and saw that all morality, aesthetics, and social institutions were meaningless, but they did not see all ethics, knowledge, and human life as meaningless.

Russian Nihilism was characterized throughout Europe for being linked to Political Terrorism due to multiple assassinations and assassination attempts against politic officials, including the assassination of Tsar Alexander II in 1881. Historian M. A. Gillespie concludes that Russian Nihilism was at the core of revolutionary thought in Russia throughout the lead up to the Russian Revolution.

Anarcho-Nihilism as a movement grew with voices like Kaneko Fumiko, a self identified Anarchist and Nihilist who was convicted of plotting to assassinate members of the Japanese Imperial Family.

Kaneko had many experiences from working with the notably Christian Salvation Army, to studying socialist movements and revolutionaries, anarchist theorists, and Nihilist movements. She only maintained a brief relationship with the Salvation Army, not compelled by their beliefs as well as being abandoned by a Christian friend after he felt his growing feelings towards her were threatening his beliefs. From the Salvation Army she jumped into the socialist movement, but was let down as she found Socialists would often behave in ways they directly advocated against.

Kaneko says her radical shift from Socialism to Anarchism and Nihilism came in 1922 when she met Hatsuyo Niiyama, who she considers her closet friend. Hatsuyo introduced her to thinkers like Max Stirner, Mikail Artsybashev, and Friedrich Nietzche. Kaneko also met Pak Yol, a Korean activist and anarchist who shared her belief systems.

Kaneko and Pak themselves helped continue to define a new set of Anarchism that aimed away from the common ideas of Syndicalism and Union Organizing, Kaneko herself writing about her views in a document made to the court in 1925 after she and Pak were convicted of attempted assassination, stating "formerly I said 'I negate life'... [but] my negation of all life was completely meaningless... The stronger the affirmation of life, the stronger the creation of life- negation together with rebellion. Therefore, I affirm life...Living is not synonymous with merely having movement. It is moving in accordance with one's will… one could say that with deeds, one begins to really live. Accordingly, when one moves by means of one's own will and this leads to the destruction of one's body, this is not a negation of life. It is an affirmation." Kaneko also claimed she wanted to "throw a bomb at the Emperor to show he, like everyone, will someday die" to deny his authority as all powerful.

One of Kaneko's main criticism of the Socialist Movement was the treatment of women, including her, in the movement itself, and this further pushed her into Anarchism and Nihilism as she believed that even these Socialist men would abuse their authority should it be granted.

Blessed is the Flame: The Anarcho-Nihilist Manifesto

"The anarcho-nihilist position is essentially that we are fucked. That the current manifestation of human society (civilization, leviathan, industrial society, global capitalism, whatever) is beyond salvation, and so our response to it should be one of unmitigated hostility. There are no demands to be made, no utopic visions to be upheld, no political programs to be followed — the path of resistance is one of pure negation." Serafinski "Blessed is the Flame"(2015)

Blessed is the Flame is considered one of if not the theory for Anarcho-Nihilism of the modern age, with its criticisms of organization and resistance during times of great tragedy.

Blessed is the Flame is a piece of text about not just Anarcho-Nihilism, but Negation through the lens of the Holocaust and Concentration Camp Resistance. The theory takes the time to explain to the reader just how bleak the reality of life was for concentration camp prisoners, and how the Nazis did everything in their power to snuff out rebellion at its core, and how people rebelled anyway, even when there was no hope to rebellion. Because of this perspective, and usage of a great tragedy, many have criticized Blessed is the Flame for romanticizing the struggles of camp prisoners, even if the author meant not to.

Blessed is the Flame, nonetheless, does the important task of putting what Anarcho-Nihilism is into digestible theory that can be spread and built upon.

Blessed is the Flame asserts that, as the quote says above, Anarcho-Nihilism is the belief that the world as we know it is fucked, to put it simply. That the current systems of domination such as white supremacy, patriarchy, colonialism, etc. have their roots too deep to be organized away, that we have reached past the point of no return for ecological destruction (Global Warming), and that we should meet this hopelessness with destruction.

Blessed is the Flame, and Anarcho-Nihilism, directly criticizes the Marxist idea of Progress. Progress, as in, the idea that Humanity overtime progresses in its worldviews and we will naturally get to a point where Humanity achieves some better world without hate or exploitation, away from the systems of domination. It is argued that history shows we do not progress up, even if we have moments things seem better, we keep crashing harder and harder as the systems of domination grow stronger and root themselves deeper into our lives and psyche. "The conception of history that came out of the Marxist tradition (dialectical materialism) dictated that the transformation of society would pass through capitalism... to transform into socialism and eventually communism. This meant that progressivism was embedded within this (the dominant) branch of socialism."

Blessed is the Flame also argues that, "This stands in direct contrast to other anarchist tendencies that place at least some emphasis on “positive programs” — aspirations to construct something ideal in the present world or to craft plans in preparation for the downfall of the current system. Anarcho-nihilism understands the positive program as “one that confuses desire with reality and extends that confusion into the future” by either making promises about what a revolutionary future might hold, or attempting to bring those conditions about from within the existing order."

To put it more plainly, Anarcho-Nihilists argue that whatever we try to build under these current systems will be co-opted, capitalized, and/or destroyed as they will be at odds with these systems. That our socialist programs, minority solidarity movements, etc. will always find their ways back to being assimilated into the death machine that is industrial civilization.

Imprisoned members of the CCF (Greek Conspiracy Cells of Fire) write, "We anarcho-nihilists ...don’t talk about ‘transformation of social relations’ towards a more liberated view, we promulgate their total destruction and absolute annihilation. Only through total destruction of the current world of power... will it be possible to build something new. The deeper we destroy, the more freely will we be able to build".

The argument is that if we meet the state with negation, with destruction, then our positive movements cannot be co-opted and destroyed. The further we dismantle the states control, the more freely we can take the time to build ways we can help each other.

In this same frame of argument, Anarcho-Nihilists, including the aforementioned imprisoned members of the CCF, argue that creating strict organization is "construction of a dam that tries to control the impetus of the abundant stream of Anarchy". Anarchy is fluid and will take many paths, and attempting to redirect Anarchy onto one path is undesirable.

Coming back to Post-Leftism, Anarcho-Nihilist (as well as Post-Leftism) critiques the lefts style of organization, the revolution, and a need for popularity politics. Blessed is the Flame brings up how the Nazis used this concept of "future time" to break the spirits of camp prisoners, through slogans such as "Freedom Through Work", being told they were being taken to Sweden only to end up in Auschwitz, taken to be Showered only to be stripped and put into prison clothes, told Work was Freedom only to be worked to death. The Nazis, cruelly, suspended the Prisoners in this Limbo of time between certain death and uncertain future, breaking their resolve to fight back as fighting back could cost them that possibility of freedom. The key to insurgency wasn't to open the curtain to reveal the lie of future time, as this lead to despondency and the further breaking of the soul. Blessed is the Flame argues that the key might lie between what is dubbed "Lager-Time" (future time) and Suicidal Despondency, something called "Suspension". In Suspension, there is no focus on the past nor future, but rather, the need to survive in the current moment. Breaking free of that suspension in the present, throwing away the chains of time, lead to violent uprisings and revolt even in the most hopeless of situations.

The paragraph above ties into Anarcho-Nihilisms critiques of the lefts view of the aforementioned 3, organization, revolution, and popularity politics. Anarcho-Nihilism argues that the left views organization as a non-violent house of cards that must be meticulously built up fully, no matter how many times it gets knocked down, and that our Revolution may only come after this house of cards is built. The left with also argue that this house of cards can only be built through their ideas becoming popularized, such as "workers of the world uniting", and once that happens then Revolution is an inevitable force. Leftists argue that revolution WILL happen, this precarious house of cards WILL be built, and there IS a better world and denying this is anti-revolutionary.

Anarcho-Nihilists reject this, viewing this as a form of Lager-Time, unable to act in the present because of uncertainty, or rather a false certainty, of the future. Given what was previously said about Anarcho-Nihilists view of Progress, they argue that radicals shouldn't wait for some Rapture like "revolution", that while we wait for workers to unite, fascism builds and global warming worsens and capitalism continues to evolve like an ever growing leviathan. The fact is, Anarcho-Nihilism claims, there isn't a reality where the workers of the world all wake up and unite against the common enemy. Even in socialist movements there lays bigotry against marginalized groups that chokes the life from these movements and further scatters the solidarity amongst each other.

Anarcho-Nihilists, as well as Blessed is the Flame, directly oppose the lefts modern form of organization, which is built on democratic circles and layers of policy and aesthetics. Needing to go through 3 different rings of people to do action just delays, and defangs, the action. Anarcho-Nihilism advocates for decentralized forms of organization, where the "org" is disconnected from each other except by name and motivation. If you want to do action, you just fucking do it, no bureaucracy bullshit. Examples of these modes of Organization is ELF (Earth Liberation Front), ALF (Animal Liberation Front), and the CCF (Conspiracy Cells of Fire). Each of these fronts is without leaders, without form, moving like water to serve the cause when needed. To be a part of groups like these, such as ELF and ALF, you need only to agree with the views, and that's it. You can create an ELF or ALF group right now with friends and go do shit.

At its core, the Anarcho-Nihilist critique is that of an Individualist one, of the collective vs. the individual. This critique argues that often, the will of the collective can overrule the freedom of the individual, stunting action and even self that the collective was supposed to foster (This specifically being a similar argument that Max Stirner, the "Father of Egoism", has discussed).

"...think back to 2012 when the CEO of an Italian nuclear power company was shot in the kneecap by two anarcho-nihilists who claimed the attack under the banner of the FAI. After the attack (which was partly inspired by the 2011 nuclear disaster in Fukushima), the pair released a communique pointing to the various atrocities committed in the name of nuclear power and calling for an all-out attack on the nuclear industry. In response to that action, the Anarchist Federation in Italy (a formal Marxist organization with no relationship to the FAI) issued a response that condemned such a renegade action: “... we strongly criticize individualist and vanguardist tactics that do not come out of a broad-based class-struggle movement. We condemn actions that put workers in danger without their knowledge...” According to this perspective, the individual acting without the validation of a formal collective, and without respect for working class solidarity, has no place in an anarchist movement. In counter-response to this (and other condemnations), insurrectionary and nihilist keyboards ignited with scathing indictments of this breed of “civil anarchism” that tries to restrain individual attacks behind the “working class” banner." Blessed is the Flame.

So, if we are fucked, and Leftist modes of organization can strangle action, what is there to do? Why fight back?

Hope Is Not A Plan: Jouissance and Insurgency

 Jouissance is a French word for "enjoyment" but can have connotations related to "uncivilized desire".

"Jouissance is an ecstatic energy, felt but never captured, that pushes us away from any form of domination, representation, or restraint, and compels us towards fierce wildness and unmitigated recalcitrance. It is “the process that momentarily sets us free from our fear of death” and which manifests as a “blissful enjoyment of the present,” or a “joy which we cannot name.”[110] Jouissance is the richness of life evoked by resistance, the spirit that allowed Mária Jakobovics to continue her acts of sabotage despite the sting of the club or the threat of the noose, and the spirit that perhaps allows many of us to lead lives of resistance in absolutely overwhelming circumstances. It is the visceral experience of negation as ecstatic liberation." Blessed is the Flame

Jouissance, for Nihilists, is the core of Anarchism. The need, no, the Joy of resistance to keep us alive and going. Not fighting because we might win, not fighting because we might lose, but fighting because we can and we fucking will. "Inmates who physically confronted their oppressors were not engaged in a “rational political struggle for a better future,” but rather understood the futility of their situations and chose to fight back regardless."

Said from the CCF, "what really counts is the strength we feel every time we don’t bow our heads, every time we destroy the false idols of civilization, every time our eyes meet those of our comrades along illegal paths, every time that our hands set fire to the symbols of Power. In those moments we don’t ask ourselves: ‘Will we win? Will we lose?’ In those moments we just fight." Anarcho-Nihilists favor Insurgency and Insurrection, not Revolution. Anarcho-Nihilists are for short bursts of violent energy, of humans taking up arms not for some convoluted idea of politics, but for the goal of rebelling. Like the burning of the Minneapolis Precinct in 2020, letting the rage and rebellion of those of us still living shining through and proving we still have fight in us, we won't die quietly in the night. These short bursts of violent energy encouraging humans to negate the will of the systems of domination, and encouraging more radical action and eventual destruction of these systems entirely, because what else is there? We live under these impossible systems, we fight and possibly die or we don't fight and we DO die.

"The active nihilist sees in the unknown future and despair at our current situation, a call to arms. Meaning is found in approaching the void rather than in the false knowledge of what is on the other side of it." —Attentat

Embracing the Void: How We Can Use This

On a real level, I don't expect you to read this and instantly agree we are fucked. Embracing this idea that our world is gone is a difficult one, and a depressing one.

Instead we can focus on what Anarcho-Nihilism brings to the table regarding its critiques and ideas.

We can begin to embrace decentralized modes of organizing, instead of searching for some Vanguard party to get swallowed up into. When you have an idea, do it. Get with friends or peers and go out into the world.

We can embrace negating the system when at all possible, illegalism as a tactic.

We can embrace the uncertainty of the future and, instead of waiting for things to get better, we can take action NOW, in the present, outside of suspension to do what we can because we can. Our nihilism does not have to paralyze us, it can instead energize us.

Anarcho-Nihilism Reading List

Blessed is the Flame

Blessed is the Flame (Audiobook)

Desert

Desert (Audiobook)

The Insurrectional Project

The Economy is Suffering, Let it Die!

Uncivilized

Say You want an Insurrection

Anarchy: Civil or Subversive?

Armed Joy

Notes on Post-Left Anarchism

Accomplices not Allies: Abolishing the Ally Industrial Complex

Rethinking the Apocalypse: An Indigenous Anti-Futurist Manifesto

Voting is Not Harm Reduction - An Indigenous Perspective

[maiawrites]

//--Mermaid's tears--//

[rrcraft-and-lore]

Tapati, who is she, and why is she significant?

Well, first, she is a river goddess, but daughter of the sun god, Surya. However, her name means the hot one, the burning one. Interestingly enough, her name is tied to the river she's said to rule over - HOWEVER, language time.

Agni, a vedic fire god, has a scythian counterpart similar in name (and the scythian's are the older culture that broke off to form the vedic, indo iranian/iranian, and levant people as well as others - mixing, breeding, invading).

Back to Tapati.

Her name is cognate with the Scythian supreme fire goddess, Tabiti. Very interesting.

Tabiti is the supreme goddess of all things in the Scythian culture, primordial, the first flame, and much like Ianna (from Summerian mythology I talked about later) went on to inspire entire god/goddess roles, and had mantles inverted as interestingly enough, there's evidence some first/supreme deities were feminine, later flipped to male as cultures evolved - their places/roles attributes assigned to male gods and their places changed - made wives, daughters, so on a similar sort of flipping happens out of the Scythian culture/ proto Indo Europeans (that I've talked about) where the root word for a divine (doesn't mean good just divinely powered) being evolved along languages the ahura, asura, and asir (Norse) come from an older proto Indo-European/Scythian word.

In the Vedic stories, the daevas are good, the asura evil. In the Avestan and Iranian texts...the ahura/asura are good, and the daevas are evil.

We know the Norse asir and vanir warred also very interesting. And interesting how gods/goddesses are changed, subsumed, adopted and more, no? Tabiti was never represented in/by art, btw. Her representation was always an actual fireplace -- a flame. That's what you used.

There's historical written evidence in places of Agni's animal form being both referred to as a bull, AND a cow in places - different genders. And his flame being referred to as female in places.

In the Hindu bronze age, Agni had way more of a prominent role as fire did before later dwindling...as fire does (ooooo symbolic - okay that's just cuz of time and shifting priorities), but there are more similarities of these things in Baltic cultures -- but oh why?

(Why am I hopping around? Cuz gods/goddesses, archetypes, beats, stories all do too - all connected you muppets).

Well, did you know the closest cognate to Sanskrit is Lithuanian? It's kept so much of its proto Indo European roots.

Wait, a South Asian language and Baltic European language are cognates? YUH. WEIRD.

Almost like they both derived out of an older culture, language, their practices, beliefs and more.

And most of human history is just migrating, fucking, invading, and settling in new places and staying long enough until your features continue to change due to bow chicka wow wowing and environment.

Funny how that works.

Here's some Scythian clothing (oh btw, women were warriors/could be too - congrats you learned that).

Does this style look familiar? Yeah, you can see the evolution/adaptation from this to later styles (bearing similarities) in Iran, India, Mongolia, the Baltics.

Cuz....y'know, that's where the proto Indo Europeans went about their biz and got jiggy with it and settled. Wow-wow-wee-wah! Okay now I'm done. Circular ish convo to get there but started with a fire goddess, it's relevant, but it all comes back to this.

Btw, this is also an important lesson for fantasy authors.

Because of all these connections and how old a bad ass fire goddess is, many of the oldest cultures are regarded as fire worshippers (like the Zoroastrians) did you know some keep an eternal burning flame? -- one is in Udvada Gujarat in India.

This flame has been said to have been kept burning for 1,500 years.

FIFTEEN HUNDRED.

And again, while most of the surviving Indo Iranic sun gods are male, there is evidence the ORIGINAL sun deity (including in/from the German, Baltic, and Slavic religions) was FEMALE.

[thatonesalmonlingnamedspike]

make this a thread

(that one minecraft skeleton song that dan bull made) (why am i doing this) Weeeeell, hello again, Freind!

[moonslittlestar]

ahh, i don’t know a lot of the names but i’m going to say of moon, echo, the twins, and i forgot how it’s spelled but darragh

for an emoji, you can use 🌀 if you’d like

Sorry in advance this will be long 🤭 I'll try to keep it as short as possible! Also, their stories are very angsty, so just a prewarn that these are not light of heart. TW for violence, physical and mental abuse, murder, death, substance abuse and hurting animals (willow's tale).

Moon Personality wise Moon is very cold, stern and quiet intimidating when you first meet him. He's got this presence that feels almost royal, but grounded, it's a very heavy presence that surrounds him, and although he no longer owns his wings their weight is still carried on his back. Moon's got this electric field around him too, fuelled by the magic that runs through his veins, when he uses magic the smell of Jasmine permeates the air and lingers sometime afterwards too (this is how Astarion realized that Moon was near when the ship crashed). Moon carries himself like you'd expect a demi god to, he's majestic. Once you get to know Moon the coldness doesn't change, he is not one to let his guard down, only Astarion has seen him in vulnerable state. I imagine as Cazador ripped his wings off that he still held his own, just so Astarion wouldn't have that be his last memory of him. Moon, much like Aylin is centuries old. Born the son of a god and a moral, Moon spent a lot of his life fighting in the wars between gods, sometimes being summoned by mortals to wield is sword by their side. He was unstoppable. That is, until he descended, tales of why he descended are unclear and many ballads tell different tales. No one is sure why Moon ended up living amongst mortals. Moon and Astarion's backstory goes way before Cazador, which is why the Emperor is trying to trick Moon with a pre-Cazador Astarion disguise. They randomly found each other, and in a twisted turn of fate fell in love. What was meant to just be some fun, a get away from the harrows of daily life, turned into two souls crashing together, bound to each other. When Astarion was turned by Cazador, Moon did everything in his power to reverse the curse, but the gods had abandoned him and they had to look for other avenues. Moon started research how to remove vampirism and who he needed to get a hold of to help them. What Moon was able to do in that time, was cut off Cazador's ability to control Astarion for short periods of time, in those moments they spent hidden away, in their own little world. Cazador found out and Astarion pleaded that Moon go into hiding, that he leave and never return, no matter how much the idea hurt him, Moon refused to give up on Astarion but Cazador had other plans. He made a pact with Bhaal, Moon's life for information on how to become the Vampire Lord. Bhaal agreed. Moon was caught and tortured in front of Astarion, his wings ripped from his body, never to return again. His life, his memories, were sacrificed to Bhaal, who claimed the newly born Moon has his chosen. And Astarion would never see him again, locked away and punished for disobeying his Master...

Echo Echo's always been a softie, even during their darkest times, deep down all that Echo ever craved was love and acceptance and someone to show him there's more to life than pain. Echo is shy, closed off and quite, mysterious and intimidating to those who don't know them. They would do anything to be just held, have someone run their hands through his hair and tell them everything's going to be alright. Echo lives in fight or flight mode, constantly alert, ready to go on the defence if needed. Echo suffers from C-PTSD and has frequent panic attacks and flashbacks, thankfully Halsin and Astarion have learnt how to calm them down and help them get grounded again. The child of a Drow (father) and a High Elf (mother), they have one older brother. Echo's mother passed away when they were just a child, a naïve and innocent, none of them took it well. Oilibhéar (father) grew cold and distant from his children after their mothers death, unable to show either son's any sign of affection. Torán, Echo's older brother took his pain and grief out on Echo, a punching bag for the feelings that Torán could not put into words. Torán blamed Echo for the downfall of their family. Blamed by his brother, ignored and abandoned by their father, Echo could never amount to anything, always living in the shadow of his mothers death. Home life was harsh and cold, there were no safe spaces for Echo and outside family life it wasn't much better either. As Echo aged, they suffered at the hands of many, adults and peers alike. A victim of physical and mental abuse throughout their life, used for their body, often returning to an distance household, bloodied and bruised. One day whilst heavily intoxicated Echo snapped. A switch flicked and during a fight with Torán, whilst defending himself from Torán's brute force, Echo took a knife from the kitchen counter and ran the blade across Torán's throat, leaving him to bleed out on the kitchen floor. Echo ran away from home that same day. Soon after, Echo found comfort in the cult of Bhaal, able to take a life time of anger and resentment out on strangers with no names and no families to mourn for them. Slowly climbing the ladder and becoming Bhaal's favourite little killer, his Chosen. This also lead him to their relationship with Gortash, who was the first person to really and truly show Echo devotion. Gortash was smitten, praising Echo and accepting Echo for all their flaws. Thus their evil plans began to play out to the downfall of Baldur's Gate...

Darragh Runt of the litter, or so they liked to tease them, the smallest Cervitaur of their herd. What Darragh lacks in height they make up for in personality. A clumsy little thing that often trips over their own feet or gets their horns tangled in forest vines. Their warm hearted and radiate kindness, though it took them awhile to reach this point. Darragh spends most of their time stoned, a keen eye and taste for magic mushrooms granted him more abilities than the rest of their herd, allowing them to communicate in ways they couldn't. Darragh's veins work like roots, from their head to their feet they send signals and messages to the world around them and other creatures, via mycelium. Darragh's hair consists of about 80% moss, leaves and twigs tangled between their horns. Their skin marks a pathway for the magic that flows inside them. When Darragh uses their magic their veins glow in a bioluminescence light. They stay barefoot so they are able to keep communications open as they wonder. Their roots also allow them to communicate with other creatures and beings via touch, through micro electric pulses, meaning they can completely tune into someone's body and mind all through their finger tips. Darragh wanted more from life than being a part of the herd, seeking freedom from their circle, Darragh travelled to Baldur's Gate in search of someone to help give them a more humanoid form. One their journey Darragh stumbled across a Hag, who, for a price, gave them their wish, only to tease that they'd never lose their antlers as a reminder of the part of them they so easily gave up. What else the hag stole from them remains a mystery. Darragh's wild shape remains a deer.

Hunter & Willow The twins are polar opposites. Hunter's alignment is Lawful Good whilst Willow's is Chaotic Evil. Their story is two sides of a coin.

Orphaned at a young age (roughly 6ish), Hunter and Willow lived on the streets. Hunter, being the "older" of the two took it upon himself to do whatever he could to keep his sister safe. Hunter would find them shelter amongst derelict houses, dingy back alleys and abandoned factories/shops, ect. Whatever he could find to put some sort of roof over their heads. By night they'd rummage through trash, bins and all sorts just to find a meal, no matter how old or moldy it would be. They wold drink sewage water and dirty rain water. After several years of living on the streets, they were taken into foster care. Originally homed together, until Willow started showing signs of being anti-social. She found it difficult to blend in with the other kids. Hunter tried to do everything he could to help his sister, but her aggressive side only grew stronger as she aged and obsessive behaviours began to show. This got them passed around several different foster homes for a few years. By age 10, Willow's obsession with dead and dying animals had grown significantly. This obsession only grew, until one day their foster family came back to their cat, dead and displayed in their living room, with Willow sitting across from it, covered in it's blood. Willow got taken away after that, and Hunter got thrown into a different foster home, unable to know where his sister was taken. Hunter, feeling useless and like he failed his sister packed his bags one day and showed up outside the Flaming Fists training ground, where they took him in and gave him shelter. Hunter spent years training under the Fists, hoping to climb through the ranks and find a way to help his lost sister. During Hunter's time with the Fists, he met Wyll, a young boy roughly the same age as him. Wyll's father took a shining to Hunter, and Wyll trained with him regularly, the two becoming extremely close. Hunter and Wyll's relationship grew to something more emotionally (not physical) intimate, though the two were still young and figuring out who they were in the world, their bound had been sown, and the two of them were inseparable. That was until Wyll left, leaving Hunter behind and alone... again. After Wyll left, Hunter started becoming suspicious of his disappearance and without any answered, he left the Fists. During this time, Willow had only grown more chaotic, after being torn away from Hunter she got put into an asylum, where she managed to escape and go underground. There she found a guide, and joined that for awhile, robbing and thrifting her stolen goods. But it wasn't enough for her, she needed more. Her hunger wasn't sated and she became an assassin, finding joy of taking people's lives and watching the light fade from their eyes. Before Hunter left Baldur's Gate in search for Wyll, he heard rumours that Willow had become a Bhaal cultist...

[nightmarefuele]

❝ I sure hope there’re no new patients. No, no, surely not today, see this. . . . ❞

❝ Bad impression, this makes. Worse yet, could encourage them. . . . ❞

❝ And so young. Oh, we the people, we sweet, innocent civilians of Gotham, how we want to see our youth rehabilitated. ❞

(Right. Suuurrrre. Well, maybe they’d say a thing or two the like, if any a’them ever looked up (or is it down?) at the place.)

Red and black and red and black. And white alight everywhere, looping tedium, all brash but it’s got no flare, and they say he’s the one with the complex? Boring hallways boring rooms boring courtyards boring everywhere so let’s see who’s laughing now

Red and black and red again. What’s black and white and read and red all over? Mouths on the walls, dripping. And this time it isn’t even pigs blood.

Just scissor papercuts, really, not a one-single plastic knife involved. (Because they got rid of those, first time having him around. Haven’t been back since. Suit themselves; just means he’s had to get more creative.) Anyway, some sorry shmo down in “Docile” ward’s gonna have their hands full’a red lines when they wake up.

Oh, and-uuhhh . . . Scaredy-Crow isn’t gonna be too happy about his missing mask.

❝ How many times are we going to run circles around the blocks before we sound the alarm! ❞ That’s Mr. Fitts, a slightly raggedy (and very old school) TA—teacher’s assistant, which he insists Is far more respectable than it sounds!—with these mayonnaise-colored slacks pressed to a firm crisp that he always manages to rumple. He’s shouting, across one of the sterile antehalls that loops toward the entrance of the so-called 𝒜𝒸𝒶𝒹𝑒𝓂𝓎, at one of four search parties. One of four inside.

❝ I will remind you to keep your voice down, Fitts, ❞ and that’s one of the female nurses, except she’s also called a ward, because here they’ve started doubling up on se-cu-ri-ty, ❝ or do you want to contract the principal’s wrath on a day like this one? ❞

He’s not so very far off. In fact, he’s underneath (but certainly not below) this particular stampede of reunifying jailors; he moseys along between the balustrades, these heavy pillars like pedestals for a far greater place than that which they actually uphold, except little peps bump his steps and so he’s bobbing with the rhythm of their fraying frenzy. Ducking—spontaneous, but fluidly, like the fizzing of his form is only another silly part of the whole silly play—straight out into the open entrance hall (where he’s blocked from sight by the floor under their feet, over his head). And it’s very open, with a grey sun slinging bolts into a murky puddle at one side by his shoes. The double doors to Arkhamore are open.

He’s borrowed one of the rEguLar-old pajama suits from faculty, the ones specially enforced on all “Isolation” inmates, although he’s what he likes to call a Solitaire. Anyway, black-and-white stripes, imperfectly fitted, sorta-rumpled ‘cause it ain’t easy getting out that box’a padded pillows then squeezing through the vents made for shoulders a lot smaller then slinging blood all over the portraits of the Arkhamore Founding Families and pledgers without getting a little messy about it.

Joker stands there looking lazy as a laid-back lynx. Murky, not-quite-black eyes peering up through the slits and stitches of a scarecrow sack.

Up; sideways, down; face slanting on a shoulder line, peering out those double doors. Open. Wouldn’tcha know it, suddenly that funny little ward’s warning—the principal’s wrath on a day like this one—makes a whole lot more senssse.

He turns. Arkhamore Academy repeated up in big, 𝒻𝒶𝓃𝒸𝓎 letters at the hall’s total opposite end. Check-in lobby. Sees a bit of motion and starts to slink back into hiding—then does a double take.

NewnewnewnewNEW

The stampede splits up overhead, one half clobbering down the stairs. He’s gone before they even hit the second level. He’s a shadow person, hanging around, pressed right back up against a leftern ventricle of this hollowed-heart cavity that calls itself an ❝entrance❞ when it’s really more like a gate to Hell.

Ahh, but O where be the demon who guards it?  No nurse there at the desk, and yet this creature writ in sepia overtones has got this little piece of paper. . . . Curious.

Make it quick? Well, if that isn’t an invitation to just hang there, slouching sort of elegantly so, shadowed between folding walls, staring. Watching. Seeing What’ll she doDoes she bite? out his ugly mask’s stolen eyes.

@miercolaes :// here.

[plutoniclol]

lets be mama

what is it about capybaras that attracts groups of small animals to them? Its not just mammals either its like birds and turtles and frogs too

[carelessflower]

sunday recap 👚💅🏻

literally play all day lmaooo

me and my friend set up a date for today so we go have jjambbong ramen near the place. we also have some crispy pork with sweet and sour sauce. the noodle get a 10 while the pork get a 9. it the smallest portion on the menu yet it enough for two. also everyone get one fried egg and I mix it with kimchi, sweet and spicy sauce, chilli and soy sauce 9/10

next there was like a festival in range of the lunar new year and that our main destination, look at home crowded with shop and shoppers lmaoo

the many many outfit i have tried on, plus the one shirt I thought was cute (the blue one).

white lace shirt: so close to buying it but I remember I already bought one I similar style literally this week

red bow shirt: they got some get-two shirts with half-the-price thing going on but it like so skin tight

yellow shirt: I love big ruffle collar so bad but this one one size smaller than mine :((

black dress: again with big ruffle collar that doesn't suit me but I want them anyway. my friend said it make me look like victorian maid

gingham dress: kinda giving cottagecore flowers on hair maiden

what i bought...this is 2$...if you wanna yell at me...consider i am very beautiful and smart

some random stuff i saw browsing through the market. lmaooo look at that shirt and that store. also the bracelet is cute but way out of budget. the necklace look cute too but I already got too many jewelry. and the perfume:DD love sugar baby and something like called sexy, and some tea scent. the tea scent istg is a dupe of matcha meditation like bergamot, tea, white chocolate. maybe im considering hmmmmmmmmm it cheaper than matcha meditation

then me and friend went to mixue for some milktead (black sugar boba tea btw 7.5/10 wayyy too sweet) and got this little blindbag figure...it look like discounted chocolate candy. then we ordered like thai style spicy and sour chicken feet and cause the boba tea didn't allow outside food so we gotta go to the park near that and then there only one pair of chopsticks and then we drop it and gotta share using a stick. fun.

at least when we dropped sauce all over our hand we decided to go to the mall near there and it the right decision cause I gotta satisfied my perfume crave by going around sniffling again, these stores I never got the chance before! look at my trophy

hmmm first one i checked is diptyque , the candle smell amazing btw. for the perfume I like most of it cause it very natural subtle scent. check some stuff people rave about. didn't like l'eau papier that much, something about it was giving mineral to me. fleur de peau is good tho (alec scent btw). glad I didn't order philosykos out of hype cause I discover I dislike fig note so much lmaooo. love love eau duelle and do son. warm vanilla cake and very sophisticated white floral, which once again alec would use dont @ me

next is jo malone. their spray test papers are so cute. peony & blush is still so pretty, and I'll add bluebell into my wishlist. not very long lasting tho

tried delina exclusif and it definitely more rose than lyche compared to of delina. need to come back and smell other bottles tho. did smell meliora cause they said they dont have valaya in stock and it very much giving ice queen

when i saw memo paris stall i cheer, i laugh, i giggle. most definitely i finally got a verdict for sintra memo, which I almost ordered a sample before. it suck ASS bigger than alec's btw. smell like rotten milk with rotten dried fruits. i clearly dodge a bullet. smell marfa and madurai and it sooooooo alecore mecore me so genius core. inle are pretty and siwa is my type (sweet vanilla)

there some launching pop-up for a hair curling iron brand and like they were doing it for free and I thought why not. first pick freshly iron second pic was after 1-2 hours. i can say curly hair doesn't suit me lmaooooo

dinner with noodle cause im outta money

[carelessflower]

week recap 🍜🍗

cope with work by gluttony

got the cream pasta package again and mix it with chilly sauce and fish and i gotta say, fish weirdly fit this pasta more than meat, like there something about the creaminess and the texture of the fish just match 8.5/10

next day instant vermicelli! this one a broth but i make it into the stir version, it a much saltier, but pair with the chicken i think it quite fine. 8/10

remember boba last week? this time i order from the same shop again but matcha latte with boba :D this one is SO sweet tho, like it not taste like grass matcha bad but like sickeningly candy matcha bad, 7/10

yes this is from this morning, instant pho (the one i like second cuz the one i love best STOP MAKING IT LIKE WTF) with meat 7.5/10

orange juice after work break and sleep, it fine 7/10. yes the choco pie there is strawberry flavor and i dont like strawberry idk why i take it aldkgjldkj 6/10

got the choco cookie chip and macca (?_ cookie, l=hope it was good last time the chocolate one i got more like butter cookie than chocolate. also i got this double chocolate cookie and red orange soda. combined 8/10 tho the soda taste like those type of vitamin c you put in water and it bubbling

the snack we got was SOOOOOO GOOD

spicy korean chicken: 100/10, spicy, crispy, juicy, combined perfectly with the salad and pickled!

fries: 8/10 standard :D i like how they on the thicker end tho

stir fried chicken feet: 9.5/10, it smell so good and so well seasoned like im SHOOKETH

[carelessflower]

week recap 🌶️🍵

this week has been...a rollercoaster. i almost got scammed and got two mental breakdown

my usual sichuan sauce with ramen and sausage combo 9.5/10 to pick up at the start of the week. little did ik this little pick up aint even covering the half of it

jollibee for dinner (i got lazy). ive been liking their spicy chicken with spaghetti combo these days. like the sauce much spicier than the first time i got it which make it better 9/10 meal

surprisingly the green matcha looking one isn't mine. i got a milo boba this time. 8/10 it taste exactly well like milo

finally got bánh cuốn from the place i crave. their fried crispy shrimp cake is sooooooooooo good and the fried scallion ughhhhhhh 9/10

some rice with fried pork rib for lunch/dinner a 8.5/10 i was sooooo hungry so everything is good to me

got a date with my friend on friday so like i gotta get up early and this is my entire breakfast lol. stick bread and some kumquat tea, they ran out of the normal one i get so i got like this big ass XL one. combine yeah 7/10 decent breakfast

we got the place we wanna go but then when we go there it deep inside this corridor and i walk up all those stairs and like the store is closed even though it said on the website it open at 10 and it like near 11 when we got there. so we just wander around a lil bit and came into this shop with the cute but shy kitties so i cant take any pics cuz they keep hiding :( did take pic of this shirt tho. it giving i teach literature and have a book club

my friend was craving this new malathang placed just open and i also wanna try. they have this huge ass hotpot topping line. you pick whatever you want in the pot here and then they gonna weight and charge u based on the weight time x amount of money. i thought i got little but then realize it was wayyyyyy over my budget and gotta give some back. also note don't choose shellfish or like octopus in these, the shellfish gonna cost u more cuz the heavy shell and the octopus count much weight but then when u cook it shrink

my bowl. when they bring out i was like what the fuck i didn't expect it so big. i pick abalone, all the mushrooms possible, meat of course and some veggies. it sooooooo so yummy like i cant believe how good it is and i was so full like 9.5/10. also the matcha milk tea i got from some bonus program is nice as well (even though my friend say it bad lol 8.5/10)

i wanna be this capybara it look so peaceful no thought just vibe

dinner time as crazy coincidence also something spicy and chinese-originated. look at these skew they were so goooooood like the beef is tender and the organs thingy is so chewy and smoky 9/10

i LOVE this hotpot it so spicy and satisfying and i love all the topping it all fit so well 10/10

afterward we go to this coffee shop that i always wanted to try cause it so viral on my fyp. i got some matcha blended with coconut, tho it did taste more like green rice and coconut topping more than matcha 7/10. the red velvet cake is mid 5/10

shoes! this look professional but like corporate torture device. why isnt excel enough

korean bbq time. i always think this place look so much like the movie i watch lol

as usual this my fave place so i love all the dishes. the tobokki is particularly good today i love the sauce i got like 3 plates cleaned up. and grilled cheese with condensed milk,,top tier. also we got grilled chicken feet for the first time and it sooooooo good like smoky some of the gochuchang taste yup 10/10

end the hang out with some sugar cane and fruit, the fruit better than me expected 8/10 the sugar cane is ehhhhhh 7/10

[imsobadatnicknames2]

Ultimately the reason why it makes me roll my eyes every time there's a post that makes fun of the way americans don't know shit about the world and someone adds a response about how it's not niceys to make fun of people for not knowing things and everyone has blindspots and you weren't born knowing everything and blah blah blah today's lucky 10.000 UwwwwwU etc. is because, ultimately, I don't think what's wrong with the average online american is that they're ignorant, ignorant people are everywhere, and everyone is ignorant about a lot of things.

What's wrong with the average online american is not that they're ignorant, it's that every time they have to confront the things they're ignorant about they immediately construct a narrative where their ignorance is the product of some uniquely and exclusively american disadvantage that they, and apparently no one else in the world, have to deal with ("our educative system doesn't teach us anything about the world, you don't understand how bad it is", "we're bombarded with propaganda since birth", "we're subjected to a culture that punishes curiosity instead of rewarding it", "we're so overworked and underpaid, you think we have the energy to try to learn anything in our spare time?", or my favorite I saw a couple months ago "well you might not know this but for the average american traveling abroad is not really accessible so it's not like we can visit other countries to learn about their culture" as if the average person outside the US is constantly taking international vacations or something) when, in reality, their ignorance is a product of immense cultural privilege, a product of the fact that they even have the ability to go through their entire life without needing to learn shit about anywhere else in the world, which is something that no one else in the world has (well people from other first world countries kinda have it too but not to the same degree as americans because in terms of cultural hegemony the U.S. is the first world's first world)

[plutonicbees]

secret calls in the phone/sewing/cat room (chapter 4 of bllb u will always be famous to me)

[differentsublimephantom]

I don’t think I have any allergies, although I’ve not been tested as far as I know. But I can’t drink milk for some reason. The typical response to me saying that is “oh, you’re probably lactose intolerant.” But here’s the thing, I love ice cream, I am not a fan, but I can stomach milkshakes, things with milk in them are tolerable. It’s just plain milk that makes my stomach hurt bad. I have a friend who I’ve told that to, and she’s from the type of family who regularly drinks glasses of milk. She says I’m dramatic and stuff, and that it doesn’t make sense that I can have things that have milk in them, but not milk itself. Whenever I need/want milk in something I’m making (like if I was making a smoothie at home) I put almond milk in it. This has caused much teasing and eyerolls from my friend. I once bought this type of almond based chocolate milk, and brought it to school, and she rolled her eyes or got genuinely annoyed whenever I called it almond milk because “it’s not milk!” I even asked her at one point why she hated the very idea of plant based milk so much, and after some interrogation i found out she has relatives who are vegan and get very annoyed when there aren’t vegan options at family gatherings, and make a big fuss about it, when her parents don’t want to spend the extra time and money making different options for them (her whole family is a bit crazy btw so while I think that sucks I don’t doubt that her relatives are a bit crazy too). After finding that out, I’m not entirely surprised that she has that outlook on things, but I still don’t agree with it. I still get really annoyed every time she gets annoyed when I dare call almond milk almond milk. But seriously, if you work in a food industry, please take peoples opinions on their food seriously. You don’t have to agree with every stupid diet fad to just give Brittney her low carb food, and she doesn’t have to tell you whether she’s eating it because she’s on a diet she saw on TikTok, or because she has a complicated medical history. Be nice, it’s free and you get kindness in return most of the time! If you don’t, like another person on this thread suggested, put extra ice in their drink or something.

DO NOT DO THIS.

This makes me so angry.

If you work in a movie theater and you do this I have no respect for you.

My younger brother is Type 1 Diabetic.

When we go to a movie theater, we always get him diet soda. If he were to get regular when we asked for diet, we would not give him the insulin he would need for it. If that happens, his blood sugar level could go so high he could go into a coma, go blind, or even die.

If somebody gave him regular soda instead of diet without telling us, that person could be responsible for a nine-year-old being killed or blinded.

Just thinking about that makes me so angry. I get scared every time we take him to a movie in case the people working there saw this picture and decide to do the same thing.

Please signal boost this so people know.