#man. i married Jack Drake

[jane-lynndrake-t]

Well. I’ve read the obituary.

Good news: my plan for Drake industries worked.

Bad news: the people who were involved in the writing of my obituary are THE MOST PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE, BACKHANDED, COWARDLY, TWO FACED ASSHOLES.

Worse news: the nightmare I had about choking on blood and dying? Not a just a nightmare.

Worst news: I don’t remember the baby becoming a toddler, then a child, then a kid, then a teenager.

Best news: the me I don’t remember was hilarious.

Hold on I need to find a way to show you guys this thing. Hmm. Printing it out and sticking it into this journal might be a stretch… but the things I write with are normal pens and you can see them.

[fanfic-obsessed]

Smitten

I had this idea for a JayTim that I want to share. 

Obviously there is no canon here, for the record. 

In addition we have a version of Jack and Janet Drake that do love their son, they just have a really bad grasp on age appropriate supervision and activities. They honestly believe that a nine year old can be left alone with only a periodic check from a housekeeper (Also they are aware that Tim leaves the premises almost every night with a camera, they also believe this is a reasonable activity).  Like the very embodiment ‘they’re confused, but they got spirit’. Believe me when I say this will be relevant later.

We are also bringing Jason and Tim’s ages just a hair closer together. This starts with Jason being 14 and Tim being 13, at the annual holiday Wanye Gala. This particular time Jack, Janet, and Tim are in attendance. 

It starts with some boorish rich asshole, a little too drunk and being stupid about it, making an insulting comment about Janet Drake, heard by Tim. Now Tim loves his mother, and does not appreciate this man who insulted her. 

Thirteen year old Tim verbally eviscerates this man, his voice an icy even tone that everyone around recognized from Tim’s mother Janet. Tim’s diatribe of insults and threats leverages this man's secrets, his fears, and insecurities that he didn't even realize he had.  Ten minutes in, this man begins to cry. Just the complete, public, destruction of a middle aged rich drunk by a tiny thirteen year old.  The Drake family proceeds to exit after Tim winds down, never looking back (it was later in the evening anyway).

Jason, standing off to one side next to Dick, falls immediately and completely in love. Smitten through and through.  The first words out of his mouth, after the Drakes leave, is ‘We’re going to get married on that boy’s 18th birthday’.  This was heard by just about everyone present. Jason did not even know Tim’s name yet.

By the next morning Jason has used the BatComputer to discover that his future spouse is named Timothy Drake, he lives next door, and that he is 14 months younger than Jason.  At breakfast Jason very seriously, though a touch maniacally, tells Bruce that he would be marrying Tim when Tim turned 18, and that before that point they would be telling Tim about their ‘nightlife’ on the grounds that “we should not start our marriage off with secrets”. Jason magnanimously told Bruce that he had until Tim was 17 to get his feelings under control about the reveal (to give a full year before the wedding, in case Tim needed an adjustment period or Jason needed to win him back).  

Bruce is already very tired. 

Jason finds any occasion to seek out Tim Drake, to get to know his future spouse (the entire time Jason Mantra-having gotten some good advice from Alfred about becoming friends with and maybe dating Tim before anything else-is ‘Don’t start talking about the wedding, don’t start talking about the wedding’). Also every piece of romantic knowledge/flirting knowledge that Jason has comes from the regency era/Victorian era romances he reads. 

Tim, for his part, believes that Jason (Tim’s Robin and crush) has figured out that Tim knows Robin’s identity and is trying to subtly figure out how much Tim knows and what he is going to do about it; but for some reason Jason is not asking directly and Tim is enjoying getting closer to the other boy, so he does not admit to what he knows. 

This leads to some painfully stilted conversations and weird interactions, but every so often both will forget to be awkward and it becomes clear, whenever they actually act naturally, that they are very well matched. 

To the Gotham Elites, this is the best entertainment in years. Between Bruce Wayne’s ‘Brucie’ act and Dick’s feral behavior growing up, Jason’s bookish politeness makes him the ‘best behaved’ Wayne and honestly the most well liked one. Combined that with how sweet he is acting with Tim and  that this all started with Tim defending his mother, well this is the love story of the ages, happening right in front of them. 

Bruce and the Drakes are already fielding requests for invitations to the wedding. On a slightly more creepy note they are also receiving offers to be a surrogate for the boy’s to ‘continue the bloodline’ when the time comes. 

Bruce is honestly wondering if everyone forgot that Jason is adopted. Dick comes to Gotham more often, because he is also finding this immensely entertaining. 

A few months in, this leads to Batman, Nightwing, and Robin finding Tim taking pictures on a rooftop in the Bowery.  In Tim’s rush to apologize (he is starting to feel a bit guilty about his picture taking pictures of the Bats now that he has an actual relationship-where he believes that they know he knows who they are-instead of a parasocial relationship) it becomes clear that Tim knows their civilian identities and that they did not know that Tim knew their civilian identities. 

Tim gives his explanation (a quadruple flip that only a few people in the world can do and connecting the dots from there). Jason immediately blurts out ‘Go on a date with me?’ and is quite proud that he kept the ‘Marry me?’ behind his teeth (The earliest they could get married in New Jersey is 17, and only with parental consent. Jason had 4 years to convince the Drakes to let him marry their son, 5 if they don’t like him). Tim turns bright red and squeaks out a ‘Yes’. 

The next gala they enter holding hands.  Dick is quickly sought after by the Elite for gossip. Dick confirms that Tim and Jason are now dating, and that Jason insisted on a chaperone for their dates (Jason is still working off the regency/victorian era romantic relationships) so that nothing would ‘besmirch Tim’s honor’.  There is an entire crowd of cooing Gothamites around Dick as they discuss how these two got even more adorable, all the while watching Jason and Tim surreptitiously. 

At some point Bruce has to have a very surreal conversation with Jack and Janet Drake about when it is appropriate to leave one's children alone and for how long and at what ages. Jack and Janet, upon being convinced that they should not leave their 13 year old alone for weeks or months at a time, rearrange their future plans so that one of them is almost always home (and on the few occasions that they would have to Tim by himself, Tim would stay with the Waynes).

By the way, Jack and Janet love Jason, they can see how much he makes their son happy and are glad to support the relationship.  

Now I see this continuing one of two ways. 

The first way is that this derails Ethiopia. Jason still fights with Batman, but runs to Janet Drake (who is home) and Tim.  He does not discover that Catherine is not his mother until later, but is not missing parental influences and does some digging but does not go to meet Sheila. Tim becomes Oracle’s apprentice.

Alternately, it does not derail Ethiopia. Janet and Jack, on one of the few business trips that required both of them, is woken up by a call from an inconsolable Tim who tells them Jason has been killed by the Joker (both Jack and Janet having been let in on the secret at some point). Janet immediately hires Deathstroke and Talia Al Ghul to kill the Joker (Janet contemplated having them bring the Joker to her, so she could do it and make sure he understood why-he killed her future son in law and made her son cry- but realized that the why would never actually matter to Joker) and paid extra to make it look like natural causes (to lessen the attention on the bastard).  Two weeks after Jason Todd’s funeral, the Joker dropped dead of an apparent heart attack, there was not even enough time to get him back in Arkham. 

The Gotham Elite treat Tim like a bereaved widow, despite Jason never getting to have the ‘let’s get married when we are old enough’ talk with him. Jack Drake gets to have his own surreal talk with Bruce Wayne about accepting help, and therapy, after Jason’s death.  Tim picks up the Robin mantle to feel closer to Jason, and to distract himself from grief. 

Jason (Now 17) is brought back and Talia does find him. In this she does have good intentions (She knows that Damian is going to need to be sent to his father eventually, and hopes that helping Jason will endear Talia to Bruce enough that she can still see her son), plus a connection to Janet Drake and the knowledge that Janet had the Joker killed for Jason. So as soon as Jason’s madness ebbs enough to travel she brings him straight to Janet Drake's door. By then enough time has passed that it is three days before Tim’s 17th birthday.   

Jante takes one look at Jason and goes ‘Hmm, I was wondering what we were getting Tim for his birthday this year’.

[cloakedsparrow]

Bruce is Tim’s Biological Father AU idea #5

Janet wasn’t in any rush to get married, but being a young woman with a steady boyfriend from a well off family, naturally everyone kept asking when she and Jack were going to take the next step. Janet always remarked that she was happy with the relationship as it was; that she was focused on her career goals; that she and Jack were letting things move organically.

In her presence, Jack always gave similar answers. One day, when he didn’t realize she was in hearing range, he joked with some peers about not wanting to settle until he’d explored all his options. She let him know she’d heard him and told him to feel free to explore his options and that she’d do the same. He pulled a med student; a barista; a couple administrative assistants: young women who were very sweet and equally boring. She pulled men like the Davenport heir, Adrian Veidt,John Constantine (she’d been a Mucous Membrane fan in college), and Bruce Wayne. Realizing he was going to lose the most impressive woman he’d likely ever know, Jack told her he wanted to get back together and proposed shortly after.

When Janet learned she was pregnant with Tim (and what the due and conception date ranges were), she knew right away who the father was. As they’d been split up at the time, Jack couldn’t hold it against her. However, he didn’t want Bruce involved in their marriage (he was a bit jealous of the man). Janet didn’t want anyone telling her what to do with her son, so she agreed not to tell him.

It was always something of an open secret among the Drakes (Jack, Janet, Tim, and Janet’s father who died when Tim was little) that Tim was Bruce’s child. They never talked about it. Ever. Not even to confirm it to Tim who just kinda worked it out for himself. Janet always suspected that Tim knew but again, they never spoke of it.

After he intervened on Bruce’s spectacular breakdown following Jason’s death, Tim assumed it was the same in the Wayne household. After all, Batman was considered by many to be the world’s greatest detective. Alfred and Dick were certainly no slouches in the investigation department either. Of course, they’d figured it out for themselves just like Tim had.

And, just like the Drakes, of course they didn’t openly acknowledge the fact.

It wasn’t until Bruce returned with news that he had a son with Talia that Tim finally acknowledged it, thinking Bruce would get the joke because he already knew.

“If you had a nickel for every illegitimate child you had, you’d have two nickels. Which isn’t a lot, but it’s still weird that it happened twice.”

“…”

“Especially with you being, like, the master of preparations and contingency plans.”

“…”

“It’s just weird, is all.”

“Who else do you think is my child?”

“…”

“…”

“Oh, shit, you have no idea.”

“No idea about who?”

“This whole time, you- Crap.”

“Tim.”

“Crap.”

“Tim.”

“Give me a minute, I think I’m having a nervous breakdown.”

“You look completely calm.”

“Yeah, well, my nervous face and my calm face are the same.”

“…”

“…”

“Tim?”

“Not that I want any details, but, uh, do you remember sleeping with my mother?”

Bruce was not expecting that response but he quickly does, in fact, remember having sex with Janet. He then connects the dots to the joke that started the current conversations and does some quick math.

“Sleeve up. We’re drawing blood.”

Sitting down in shock for a minute as the paternity results stare him in the face, Bruce realizes that Tim’s reactions suggest Tim knew and assumed Bruce knew and that just goes in a loop in his head for a bit: all this time his son thought he knew.

He’d sent Tim home to an empty house or overseas to train with strangers, and the boy had gone, thinking that was his father knowingly sending him away.

He’d been dismissive the one time Tim commented on his parents always extending their trips or otherwise fighting, and the boy had kept his silence, thinking that was his father knowingly leaving him in that environment.

He’d given Tim back to Jack when he woke from his coma, and the boy had gone, thinking that was his father making a deliberate choice to give him up.

He’d let Jack take Robin from Tim (and keep him from seeing him) in exchange for his silence on Bruce’s identity as Batman, and the boy had agreed, thinking that was his father sacrificing him for his secret.

He’d offered to adopt Tim after Jack’s murder, and the boy had turned him down, thinking that was his father refusing to publicly acknowledge their true relationship.

He’d helped Tim solidify the records on his fake uncle and the boy had accepted the help, thinking that was his father knowingly passing him off to some stranger.

Tim had been prepared to move into the stable apartment after his fake uncle died, until Bruce brought up the adoption again, and the boy agreed, thinking that was his father telling him their relationship had to remain a secret.

The joy of realizing that Tim was truly his warred with concern over the fact that his son thought such behavior was not only acceptable from a father, but should be accepted quietly.

He has no idea how he’s going to fix that, but he’s Batman, he’ll work it out.

[damianbugs]

brujack?

i just awoke like a sleeper agent. bruce wayne and jack drake... doomed stupid silly old man yaoi that makes no actual sense unless youre insane. jack asking bruce why he's interested in him, fully expecting a normal person answer about finding him funny or how much he's changed as person only for bruce to very seriously tells him "you threatened my life" and jacks like oh okay you're one of Those (derogatory).

just the other day i had a funny thought about a fake marriage au where for jacks safety he needs to move into the manor but that would be complicated to explain to the public, so they just. get married. because obviously that is so much easier to explain.

also the funniest thing about brujack is tim and alfred. they both hate brujack for different reasons. tim doesn't want to think about his dad and bruce doing anything in a two feet radius as each other. alfred just hates jack. it's so fucking funny

[brucewaynehater101]

never mind Bruce being Tim's bio donor and just ignoring Jack altogether

other more interesting options

Janet messing with dig sites, has a fling with an ancient, dying mesopotamian god who has just enough vitality to give Janet a child, a child who is as durable and determined as their godly parent who has hung onto existence by their fingernails for the last millennia

Janet mixing with some magic items while she's doing her semi legal archaeological thing and Janet meets a lovely martial artist while still under the influence of the magic, Lady Shiva as Tim's other bio donor

Janet on a dig meets an older man with mesmerizing green eyes who introduces himself as Ra's Al Ghul and they have a brief fling, Ra's actual target was some artifact that Janet had, the fling was a why not?

Gotham, Gotham is literally Tim's parent and the reason why Tim didn't die a thousand times over while baby Tim was running around the rooftops with a camera

Lesbian Janet Drake is one of my favorite hcs. Obv, it's not canon, but I love the idea that she only married Jack for his money/prestige/status and, if the universe aligned differently, would have married a woman (I've seen some ideas where she is the one to get with Dana, lol).

Tim is a stubborn kid. I adore the idea that either Gotham or an ancient god gave birth to Tim. There is a cool fic of Gotham adopting Jason and him gaining powers because of this.

The best part about Lady Shiva would be Cass and Tim being half siblings. The twins AU of Cass with either Jason or Tim has my heart.

Ra's being Tim's parent is all kinds of weird. Like, poor Damian would have to refer to Tim as his uncle or something and grapple with the reality that Tim would have more of a claim to being the heir than Damian would. I also find it funny that Ra's would reveal this at the most inconvenient time for Tim just to make his life difficult. I imagine Ra's just sitting on the fact Tim's his kid for seventeen years before greeting Tim as son during the BruceQuest or something.

[earthtoharlow]

Series Masterlist

Previous Chapter

YOURINSTA

liked by latto777, summerwalker, SZA, selenagomez, druski, urbanwyatt, and 678,567 others

yourinsta: daddy, am I your baby? @champagnepapi

view all 8965 comments

user: waited about 3 hours to like this so I didn’t look desperate

user: I’m bigger than drake btw

user: all I need is 3 seconds frfrfr

user: the slayage is insane. face card never declines. category was body and you bodied

user: will never get over Jack fumbling a bad bitch

mariahthescientist: 😍😍😍

user: Jack somewhere crying

flomillishit: I’m in looooove

CHAMPAGNEPAPI

liked by urbanwyatt, saweetie, sexyyredd, icespice, SZA, druski, yourinsta and 1,990,708 others

champagnepapi: I miss you when I wake up before you.

Happy Valentine’s Day ya freaks!

view all 6,789 comments

celeb: 🥹🥹

SZA: I love you guys

celeb: goals fr my guy !

celeb: thank god you married her

celeb: certified lover boyyyy

yourinsta: I love you forever

JACKHARLOW

liked by thatgirlstacey, justinbieber, icespice, neelamthadhani, 2forwoyne, quiiso, and 968,456 others

jackharlow: Happy Valentine’s Day to Stacey! Even though our paths have diverged, my heart still holds a special place for you! I’ll hold your heels for you any day!

view all 10,568 comments

user: oh

user: did he seriously just do this

user: he saw y/n got married and now he’s trying to make her jealous

user: this kinda embarrassing

thatgirlstacey: 🥹

user: so y’all back together or what?

user: I’m so confused

THESHADEROOM

liked by 789,360 users

theshaderoom: uh oh #roomies Y/N Y/L posted this to her IG Story but quickly deleted it! They appear to be messages from her ex boyfriend and rapper Jack Harlow! TMZ just reported earlier today that Jack and Ms. James spent Valentine’s Day together! Two months ago Jack was doing interviews saying he was still in love with Y/N!

messy messy messy 

what y’all think roommates?!

view all 12,754 comments

user: y/n is attention seeking

user: I love that she has him saved as a graveyard

user: is Stacey not embarrassed

user: jack the one that needs to be embarrassed

user: hope she gets a restraining order

user: what was the reason for her posting this

user: now when Stacey say something I don’t wanna see her acting like the victim

YOURINSTA

liked by urbanwyatt, flomillishit, mariahthescientist, saweetie, selenagomez, usher, latto777, thatgirljt and 10,566,677 others

yourinsta: we good over here boo!

view all 17,689 comments

user: OH DONT GAG THE LIVE LIKE THIS

user: 😭😭😭

user: drake the type of nigga to sing his own song while on a date

user: chileeeee

user: y/n said my man ain’t cheating on me

user: I know Stacey sick rn

saweetie: I know that mf right!

user: married y/n a savage

***

AN: ANNNNNND WE BACK!!

Tag List

(message me if you'd like to be added or removed)

@heavyhitterheaux @hoodharlow @harlowsbby @neon-lights-and-glitter @toocriticalharlow @babiefries @mace23477 @snows-blog-of-fiction @dstark-0706 @itsyagirljaz @harlowcomehome @w1ldthoughts @vinniehackersbaee @halfmoondaze @jaydaaasworld @hufflewhore128 @leftapricotprofessorlover @minkookie95 @katiaw2 @kkrenae @jackharloww @babybardi2 @plushkhiii

[base0h]

Hello,

Heard you’re looking for ideas so…

Here’s a crack one: The Straw hats working in a department store

Would they become employee of the month? Would they be fired immediately?

a/n - IM WHEEZING AT THIS— you are GENIUS bro holy crap 😭🫶 dude luffy would get fired so fast it’s insane— and imma just add everyone bc why not 😂

Warnings ⚠️ - MAJOR crack, multiple characters, I’m kinda dumb and might’ve forgotten people

they didn’t even make it past the interview 💀

.✩ kidd (tried killing the interviewer for asking him why he wanted to work there “I really am passionate about restocking— MF IM BROKE.”), buggy, bonney, paulie (did the same thing as kidd plus he parked in the manager’s parking spot)

literally within the first few seconds of the interview they’re hired | “My name is—“ “Can you start within the next few seconds?”

.✩ jimbei, koby, sabo, koala, izou, kaku, vivi

got fired the same day they started

.✩ luffy (ate the entire produce section and then asked the manager “is there more stuff in the back?”), corazon (he accidentally burnt the place down 😀), sanji (confessed his love and asked several female customers to marry him at his cash register), brook (asked for some poor random woman’s underwear 💀)

employee of the month every single month

.✩ jimbei, koby (old people always say how sweet he is to the manager bc he always helps them get the things they can’t reach 😭🫶), tashigi (kids hate her bc she catches them and scolds them if they take an extra candy/sticker from the cashier jar), vivi (accidentally gave herself this title when she’s the manager 💀)

the manager of the store

.✩ nami (steals money from the safe sometimes), aokiji (he literally never shows up to work on time and doesn’t give a shit what the employees do), akainu, fujitora, shanks (bro also does not care and comes to work hungover), dragon (has not shown up once since the interview), sengoku, garp, dadan, vivi, magellan

the sale sign flipper guy

.✩ zoro (if he manages to actually find his way to the store), bepo, ace, shachi, penguin, queen (you legit can’t miss him as you’re driving by 💀), yamato, oden, cat viper, bon clay, ivankov

they work solely in the back to avoid human interaction as much as possible

.✩ mihawk, law, smoker (he’s the guy that mans the big crane machine that moves huge boxes), hawkins, king, katakuri, smoker, lucci

they’re the CEOs of companies that are partners with the store and provide goods for the store to sell

.✩ crocodile (provides gut/immune supporting, healthy, all organic animal/pet food), doflamingo, kaido, big mom, whitebeard, moria (sells and produces copious amounts of Halloween costumes and other decorations)

actually decent employees

.✩ usopp, benn, x drake, robin, nojiko, baby 5, monet, vergo, franky, icebarg, bellamy (SHADOW FROM SK8 PLS TELL ME YALL SEE IT), hachi, killer

they start tweaking because they asked a customer how they were and they ignored them

.✩ shirahoshi (sobbing), bepo, sanji (asked a girl who had her headphones on), Uta (will get so pressed that they ignored her when in reality they just had headphones on)

they’re the reason why the store’s still in business | they’re basically the mascot

.✩ chopper, bepo, carrot, cat viper, dog storm

the dude everyone goes to for questions/help | “Idk go ask ___”

.✩ franky (has beef with cash register 4 bc it stops working for no reason only during his lunch break and never when he’s not doing anything), icebarg, kaku, usopp, lucci, jack, king, robin, jimbei

they’re the reason why no one likes to shop there | they have several weird allegations or felonies of some sort

.✩ trebol, caesar, diamante, dellinger, pica (he drives this mini car and always somehow fits inside it and takes up two spots in the parking lot), absalom, hogback (people have gone missing in the parking lot it’s scary), moria (would you wanna shop if you saw bro? Ik I wouldn’t 😭)

jobless for life ✌️

.✩ rayleigh (he slays idc), roger, yasopp

a/n - I think i forgot people but eh 💀 the one piece brainrot is so back 🙏

[musicfeedsmysoul12]

Maybe a PJO/BatFam crossover? (I can't imagine Bruce trying to figure out a plan in case the "Two camp filled with overpowered demigods tries to take over the world.)

Bruce watched as Tim awkwardly spoke with his nephew. Who was nearly the same age as he was. The reveal that Jack Drake had an illegitimate daughter who was much older than his son (a high school fling Bruce figured) didn’t really shock anyone. Nor was the reveal that while Jack knew of her he’d never done anything to help her. At all.

Sally Jackson was a lovely woman who upon learning of her much younger brother had come right to Gotham, leaving behind her repulsive husband to speak with Tim. Diana had been visiting and she clocked Sally as being something called Clear Sighted, a human who could see through the magic the Gods enacted to keep the more mythological aspects of their world away from humans.

Sally had confessed it to be true, which was how her son’s parentage came out along with the reveal that she’d only married her husband because he stunk so bad he covered the smell of her demigod son.

Luckily, Gotham stunk as bad as the man. Sally upon realizing she could just move there took happy advantage to do so, agreeing to take in Tim who needed family to while she did it.

Bruce had lent her the best lawyers he could and started doing what he did best. Research and contingencies. Diana had pulled him aside to explain there were two camps completely unaware of one another due to the Roman version of the Demigods taking advantage of the Civil War to nearly wipe out the Greeks. It didn’t help the Athena children were hostile to the Romans and also tried to send bombs at them.

Bruce had taken it into account. He wrote all he could down and hid it in a notebook.

He didn’t feel to much worry. The Demigods were heroes, born to fight for the Gods. It was a sad thing, and he hated how Diana worded it. She put forth it was a great honour and that those who went against it were traitors. Like not wanting to give everything up to parents who didn’t see them was wrong.

They were Gods. Bruce knew that meant they were very different from humans and would demand respect. As Gods they were in fact owed respect.

But he also disagreed that their kids had to give everything up to them. They could be demigods and normal people. It would be harder but not impossible. They didn’t have to be heroes.

Which led him to the contingencies. Bruce was no fool. Something had to give sooner or later. Resentment had to burn in the children forced into a life they did not want. He had to be prepared.

(A few years later, he wished he hadn’t been right.)

[rootbeerrex]

AND ALSO other side of paradise by glass animals for the jackbat song ask game

SANS UR INSANE FOR DOING THIS RIGHT AFTER GOLD RUSH I WAS HAVING FLUFF FEELINGS AND NOW???? also it's SO funny you picked this song bc fun fact there's currently an abstract piece for the other side of paradise sitting in my procreate files I have got it finish that one up sometime 💀

ok here's the deal. this one is. a lot harder. but also? I am an expert so I can do it. TW for. so much. brief mention of suicidal tendencies from bruce. fairly graphic description of the poisoning from the issues where Janet Drake dies. Also MCD.

opening lines:

oh this REEEEKS of a pre-batman au. @tangelotea has an AU for them where they met at boarding school and Bruce abandoned him to go train to batman so TBH I'm thinking I'll do something with not that exact au, but something similar where they met before batman. I think they were together in boarding school (when I was young and stupid) and after graduation, Bruce left to go train to be batman (my love left). obviously Jack doesn't know what he left for, so he fills it in with some abstract concept (to be a rock and roll star). He told Jack he was leaving and he couldn't tell him where he was going, but not to worry about him (he told me please don't worry). Bruce tries to make it as painless of a goodbye as possible, so he doesn't let himself show real raw emotions (wise little smile that spoke so safely). he left, and is not coming back to Jack (he booked a one way ticket). the next three lines don't fit so I'm not analyzing it bc it's MY ask game and I can do whatever I want <3

holy fuck I wrote so much for that last one ok speedrun this is basically Jack watching Bruce come back from his mysterious disappearance as Brucie Wayne, an airhead billionaire he doesn't recognize at all.

Jack tries to stay calm but his first love is standing right in front of him again and all the memories are rushing back but nothing lines up. he doesn't know what to do. he doesn't know what's happening.

BRUCE POV BRUCE POV BRUCE POV.

"bye bye baby blue" Bruce accepting that he's losing Jack all over again because Jack hates this new version of him (think like in the nolanverse his relationship with Rachel).

"I wish you could see the wicked truth" Bruce saying he wishes he could tell Jack the truth about why he was missing and what he's really like right now, but it's too dangerous (wicked truth).

"caught up in a rush it's killing you" welcome back suicidal adrenaline junkie bruce truthers!!!!

"screaming at the sun you blow into" could kinda be a Bruce always defying everything in nature thing but that's not important. what is important is

"curled up in a grip when we were us" Bruce remembering the way they held each other when they were togther

"fingers in a fist like you might run" now Bruce seeing the same hands that held him clenched angrily while Jack looks like he needs to just get away from Bruce.

"I settle for a ghost I never knew" back to Jack's POV, saying he'll just live with the memories of a man he clearly never knew, if this is who Bruce is now.

"superparadise I held onto" Jack always held onto the memories of their time together because it was paradise to him

"but I settle for a ghost" both of them saying they just have to live with the memories because the other one is out of reach now

Jack doing what's expected of him: marrying Janet, raising Tim, and having a "normal" life.

in my world Janet Jack and Bruce all knew each other in HS (Jack and Bruce weren't out) and Janet mentions once that she misses the old Bruce they used to know, and asks what happened because Bruce and Jack used to be close. Jack snaps back that it wasn't his fault, that Bruce just went crazy and is an attention seeker searching for the validation he wishes he could get from his parents. basically crazy defensive.

this part. is haiti. this is the kidnapping where Janet dies and Jack is paralyzed. the derealization stuff is the poison hitting his body and him not knowing what's happening. "that girl is gone but I / that girl is gone but I still try" Janet is dead but weaving in and out of consciousness he needs to save her still and it hits his head and he feels numb his body's looking wrong his body's looking wrong his body's looking wrong and

Batman shows up and saves him. (listen I know that's not how things happen in canon and that they got poisoned after batman showed up but SHUT UP I CAN DO WHAT I WANT)

"bye bye baby blue" Janet is dead and so is his. I don't wanna say innocence? because he's a grown man here but he is traumatized from this point on and baby blue is kind of like. it's the spirit of his "normal" life flying away with Janet. I'd say not to be pretentious but my whole brand is being pretentious so who cares 😭

ok from this point on its Bruce again. why does Bruce only get the chorus ? who knows but it's different this time so I'm still going through it

"I wish you could see the wicked truth" this is Bruce both saying he wishes he'd been able to see the water was poisoned so he could've protected them AND Bruce wishing in the back of his mind that Jack could recognize who he was behind the mask so he comfort the man he loves in his (possibly) dying moments

"caught up in a rush it's killing you" obviously the poison

"screaming at the sun you blow into" Jack is screaming about Janet's death and the pain and all that jazz

"curled up in a grip when we were us" Bruce grabbing Jack and trying to carry him away to get medical care, as a fun twisted parallel to holding him when they were together (we were us)

"fingers in a fist like you might run" Jack resisting Bruce and trying to stay with Janet's body

"I settle for a ghost I never knew" Bruce trying to remain objective and be batman here trying to tell himself to act like he doesn't know Janet and Jack so he can function objectively (this one is weak but also I'm pulling ALL of this out of thin air so I'm allowed to not have strong claims for all of them)

"superparadise I held onto" Bruce also always held onto the memories of Jack as paradise

"but I settle for a ghost" Jack dies in his arms and now he's truly left with only a ghost.

GOD THAT ONE WAS FUCKING HARD HOLY SHIT. but yeah this did remind me I have an entire series of abstracts I haven't finished yet based on this whole album I should work on those and post them LMAO. also yeah sorry for the ANGST it wasn't my CHOICE it's all SANS' fault so yell at her for giving me this song 😭😭😭

god this might be the messiest all over the place analysis I've ever done anyway bone apple teeth!

SHIT I ALMOST FORGOT EVERYONE GO VOTE FOR JACKBAT IN THE RAREPAIR TOURNAMENT

[amaranthine-nostalgia]

Autumn

“You return like Autumn, and I fall every time.” Faraway

Timothy Jackson Drake was ready to die. 

In all honesty, he had been for quite some time.

As a child, he had been given freedom, too much freedom.

His parents had let him roam wild, only acknowledging him when they needed something. It was a terrible way to live, to be reduced to nothing more than a tool to use. He hated it. He hated knowing that his birth was an accident, never something his parents wanted. It was never explicitly stated, but it was the truth.

It was the truth and it hurt.

It hurt knowing he was nothing more than a tool. It hurting knowing that they’d rarely come home. It hurt knowing that his parents weren’t really parents. They were adults that lived at his house for a couple of days at a time. He was his own adult, half raising himself.

Tim had forced himself to grow, to take care of everything his parents would never do. He was the one ordering groceries and making food on the rare occasions he was hungry. There was noone to take him to the doctor, so he had taken care of it.

It had payed off though. With the freedom that came with abandonment, he was able to figure out the bat’s identity. He had recognized the quadruple flip performed by the Robin at time, easily connecting it with the performance he had seen three years ago. So with a little sleuthing, he had been able to figure out the identity of the bats.

Afterall, if Dick Greyson is Robin, then Batman must be Bruce Wayne. From there, he was able to make connections to other heroes based on the relationships formed in civilian lived.

It wasn’t long after that, that he began following them. Tim was small, easy to get in and around Gotham without being spotted. He had watched Dick become Nightwing, and Jason becoming Robin. He had watched the news revealing Jason Todd’s death. He had watched Bruce self destruct, fighting without the will to survive.

So for the first time, he stepped up to the plate. Dick wouldn’t help. The caped community wouldn’t help either. It was up to him, though it took a while to get through to him. In the end, it had worked out. He had been able to help Gotham, to keep Bruce from self destructing, even as it hurt him.

Just as he was a tool for his parents, he was a tool for Batman. It was unfortunate, but Bruce didn’t need or want a child. It was a universal truth, one that had been enforced every time he reached out for a family.

From Dick’s disapproval to Jason’s brutality to Damian’s murder attempts, his place in their so-called family had been made clear.

He wasn’t like Damian, who grew up killing people without a care in the world, being fed tales of an ‘amazing’ father who would only love a birth son. He wasn’t like Jason, who dug his way out of a grave, determined to take revenge against the joker and his replacement. He wasn’t like Dick, who refrained from murdering the man responsible for his parent’s death. He wasn’t like Bruce, who mourned for the mother and father he’d loved.

No, Tim had lifted his head high and moved on. He had given himself a moment, a single moment alone, to cry and scream for all that he had lost. After that, he had pulled himself together. There would be no mourning, no lingering grief. It was what Janet wanted and demanded from her son. It was the Drake way.

His father was weak in that aspect. Though that was to be expected, Jack had married into the Drake family. There was a reason Timothy Jackson Drake had not taken his father’s last name. He was the last of a legacy, a bloodline that would never continue.

It wasn’t what he had wanted. It wasn’t the legacy he wanted to continue for his mother.

But it was the hand of cards he had been dealt.

So Timothy Jackson Drake would die.

“Tim!”

The shout came from nowhere, a clash against the silence that would bear witness to his passing.

Tim didn’t spare a breath, not when it could very well be his last. He didn’t have the energy to care, not after everything his so-called brother had done. There was no time to catch him, and that was okay.

There weren’t many people who would miss him. Perhaps he’d be missed as a tool in the arsenal, but Tim Drake wouldn’t be missed. 

He closed his eyes, a smile gracing his lips.

The best part of being Robin was flying.

“Tim!” Came the shout once more.

Fuck.

“I have you.” Dick breathed, a grounding presence against him. “I caught you. You’re safe.”

It made him want to scream to hit his chest over and over again. That was his one chance to go out on his own terms. At least that way he’d have been good for something. He couldn’t though, it wasn’t an option.

“Thanks.” Tim offered a smile, something that made his heart ache.

“How’d you know I’d catch you?” The older boy asked after putting the both of them on a roof.

“You’re my brother.” He laughed softly, belaying the ache in his chest. “I never doubted you for a second.”

Luckily, there was no one there to catch him in the lie. Not that anyone ever could. He was far too skilled to be caught. He was the only Robin able to lie to Batman after all.

It was a product of his upbringing, a necessity born from neglect. As a child, he had needed to grow a silver tongue, not unlike his mother's. He needed to command a room, gather allies, and expel enemies within the same breath. He needed to make excuses for his absent parents, for the necessary errands that left him without adult supervision. He had to know and wield any fact that could be used against others in high society. He knew the number of bundles to give social workers or other authorities should they push into his business.

So now, once more, he would lie.

Timothy Jackson Drake will lie to his brother. He will grace their conversation with soft platitudes, assuring the hero that he is still his brother. He’s not, though, not really. 

Tim Drake, you see, has lived a life of grief. There is not quite a singular cause. Instead, it is the accumulation of a million disappointments, broken promises, and cruel touches. It is all he’s ever known.

“Tim.” Dick says again, hoping to gain his attention once more.

It works, for now.

“Are you ready to come home?”

His face is soft and hopeful in all the ways a brother should be. It won’t work though. Tim knows better. He knows what will push his brother to locking him up. He knows what will let his brother allow another to harm him. So he will say no. It’s the best for both of them. That way they can keep their happy family and he will be safe.

Alone, admittedly, but safe. To Tim, that is a worthy sacrifice.

So Tim smiles softly and fondly, “I’ll come back soon. I’ve got to check with Lucius about some WE paperwork that needs to be filled out.”

“Can’t it wait?”

“I wish.” He sighed. “I don’t want to risk Ra's al Ghul trying to fuck anything up.”

“You’ll come later, right?” He asked, rocking on his heels.

“Of course,” he laughed, eyes squinting.

So with a bittersweet sense of longing, Tim turns away. He isn’t lying. There is much to do now that he’s been made CEO of WE. It could have waited until tomorrow, but it makes no difference now.

He will make Janet Drake proud. He has survived the cards dealt to him, living despite the odds.

So once more, he will accept the cards dealt out to him.

Janet Drake’s legacy would be continued.

[burned-lariat]

The Lost Child of Brante: I don't think I've been as impressed with a story since the ending of the BLQ/Maxie/Bailey story. The climax was excellent, turning a garbage retcon into something worth watching. I'm glad they actually put something into Gio rather than him existing to be nice and play violin. Of course, everyone will forgive everyone so I'm not keen on BLQ's rage being permanent...especially not where Lulu is concerned. Speaking of...

DeLulu: This is a Spencer family hate account. Always. The fact that she is still as pushy and nosy and annoying as she was pre-coma and pre-3rd recast is quite something. I'm glad everyone and their mom was like "Don't do this," and she did it, and the move was "We told you not to do it, and like a dumb bitch, you didn't listen." These consequences for her are short-term of course, while she gets to stomp around and act like a disgruntled high schooler because her crush got mad at her, and that'll be long-term. And yes, Gio should beat her up. Then BLQ. Then-

The Millow/Drillow Shitshow: Wiley and Amelia can and should go into foster care. Neither parent is fit to have custody of them, be it their mob-aligned daddy or their philandering mommy/aunt. I get Michael is "hot" now but we all seem to forget that this is MICHAEL we are talking about. Trust me, once everything is resolved and Willow obviously loses, you all will go right back to hating him, just as God intended. I'm glad there are low blows on either end because it pumps up the soapy drama of it all, but further lobotomizing Willow with old-man dick was...a choice that was certainly made. I mean I've always hated her, so my opinion hasn't really changed all that much. The only other resolution here is someone popping Drew in the head execution-style. That would be nice.

Agent Jaws Jokes: EM needs to fuck off. What a garbage story, another garbage story where we're led to believe Josslyn Jacks is the almighty It Girl. She has zero instincts, zero subtlety, and zero fucking braincells. A man who had a new storyline and new love interest that people would invest into got fired because he was no longer benefitting her. So then what? This story flops and she gets to eat another story like her TV mom? You got Emma Scorpio-Drake on screen, with BB acting her ass off, and you decide that Dalton picks Joss despite Emma being his top student and someone he is physically attracted to. In a logical world, Emma still gets picked. In this world, Joss can't ever lose. This girl is an albatross and needs to GO. NOW. PS - Vaughn's actor is married, so so much for attempting to shove a showmance down our throats, huh? Too bad.

Trai Something...Anything: Do I like Trina and Kai? Sure. They're fine. I'd like them more if the writers invested into the pair as people, like they are with Gio/Emma (who I also like btw). But even then, TA is on contract. Her last leading story was the Curtis paternity reveal, and I don't recall her ever having a prominent enough spot in it compared to Portia's bullshit. TPTB knows they can stick her anywhere as support and act like it's fine, but would rather not spend time giving her a story she's owed. I'm not even talking about grieving Spencer or going to find him, I'm talking about ANYTHING. Investing in her art interest is a great place to start, which could put her in a caper/mystery or tangling w/ a stalker a la Ava/Ryan. Or hell, even being the villain and keeping secrets and lying about whatever, which gives her center stage. Just...give Trina something to DO! Playing support does not count!

Sidwell Crosby: So Jenz is both a shady dickhead and an upstanding member of society? It can't be both. If he's meant to be the villain, having him engage in illegal resource practices by word-of-mouth means nothing. This version of Sidwell is so scrubbed clean from when he came on, and it's a bit jarring. Like sure, bullying Natalia and loving his gay son is great and all, but what else is he here for? How long are we going to drag him out until he's cornered and does a 180 to twirl his cartoon mustache? Figure him out and get a move on.

Krashtina: if anyone has fallen from grace, it's the once-hopeful mafia heiress. Seeing Alexis be twisted into knots to protecr this psychopath makes me so sad. Kristina deserves prison time for trying to kill Ava, and almost killing Elizabeth and Ric (my beloved, my king). Not even the headstrong, impulsive, grounded Krisrina that LA embodied would pull shit like this. I'm grateful every day that I have my own version...

Dead Dad Walking: Thank God we're done with faux Sasha/Jason. I don't know who thought that was a good idea for a placeholder until Michael was recasted. If you want to recycle soap stories, maybe try completely different characters for it? Just an idea. I never fucked with Jason so my opinion of his is the same, but I want justice for Sasha. Not just for the potential further trauma porn, but for this stupid idea that she needs to be "independent" by not earning money and being the chef for a rich family. I just...why???

Misc: LnL2 don't inspire anything in me. Give both RH & JJ something better to do. Move on from this referendum - put up or shut up (even though Ezra Boyle is lowkey fun). Pair Jordan and Isaiah back up PLEASE. Truck Nuts can fuck off; pairing him with Molly and expecting the dynamic to be her scolding him and cleaning up his tantrums makes me miss Dex/Molly that much more.

[phoenixglacier]

Just hear me out: Soulmate AU. But soulmates don't neccesarily mean romantic, okay? Some of them are, obviously, but that's not the point. Soulmate goes beyond that.

Dick and Donna are probably soulmates. Donna still gets married to someone else and Dick still ends up dating other people but they're Soulmates and that means more than any husband ever could.

Damian and Jon are probably Soulmates too. I don't make the rules.

I'm building up to something but for worldbuilding's sake I'm saying it's the "The first words your soulmate ever says to you are written on your palm" type soulmates.

So. Tim and Bruce Soulmates, right?

And I imagine Bruce knows. Forgoing the exact words of canon a little here but I wanna say Bruce's words are something like "Don't worry, I'll get you out of there." and meanwhile Tim's are the ultra generic "Who are you?"

So that day when Tim saves Bruce (and Dick) — it hits Bruce like a slap to the face that his Soulmate, whom he's never looked for, never dared to look for, is this child. Meanwhile, Tim has no idea that he's fatally connected to this man and as far as he knows this is all playing out very normally.

Bruce takes Tim in and immediately tells Alfred who, in his classic manner, expresses both concern for the situation as well as clinging super tightly to Tim Drake because this is Bruce's Soulmate goddammit. Would Tim maybe be better off apart from Bruce, his Soulmate, who also happens to be Batman, who lives a very dangerous life? Alfred cares about Bruce first so he does not particularly care (he will give Tim Drake the best life by Bruce Wayne's side instead).

I imagine in this world not everyone has a Soulmate, and even if you do you're not immediately born with your words. And Jack and Janet Drake likely weren't soulmates, so Tim's either passively accepting that you don't neccesarily need to find your soulmate to be happy in life or highly romanticises the magical fantasy of his fated soulmate or both at the same time. And Bruce probably told him that soulmates are a distraction and not to look for his in an attempt to further bury the secret that it's actually him. I can imagine Tim getting together with Steph and spouting all this confident stuff about personal choice and the unique adventures they can have even without being soulmates and the two of them being so excited together in that relationship and their unmatching soulmate words.

(Steph's soulmate is Cass and I think about her having this whole scene where she just. Holds Steph's hand. Looks down at her words and back up again. Silently asking. The first words that Cass ever says to Steph, saved for this moment, are "I love you.")

Aaaanyway I think about this AU and reread canon material imagining this is the case (Tim and Bruce being Soulmates, Tim not knowing but Bruce knowing) and it just vividly makes sense because Tim is the person who understands and believes in him again and again to an unusual degree. And one day Tim will find out that they're Soulmates and worse: that Bruce knew all along. And, um, most likely this will be like the 99th time he tries to quit?

Just a tiny thought

[felidacy]

Because I have been sucked back into my figure skating a.k.a. Yuzuru Hanyu like every couple of weeks by now I will share a random idea I've had in my head for a while now. Secretly hoping that maybe someone writes something like that. (I could write it myself but it wouldn't feel the same.) The man has a chokehold on me for real. It doesn't help that I genuinely have been picturing Tim more than once in Yuzuru Hanyu's stead. It would even work together with his grace and because they both seem small and very lean, while having the appropriate muscles for the needed work.

Idea begins down below!

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I wanna share my random little thought of Tim after getting Bruce back from the timestream debacle he comes to a well needed realisation. After two more near death experiences, one lost organ and a struggling morales complex, Tim makes the discovery that maybe he doesn't want to live a life that is barely going forward any longer. And though he acknowledges that he deserves to be happy and have a good family and friends, he does not know how to set boundaries and what changes are needed so he doesn't feel so tired anymore.

Tam Fox, his still fake fiancée that both forgot, then comes to the rescue to talk some sense into him. She is her fathers daughter and not one to mess with. This is why she manages it that Tim actually listens to her. First of all he finishes high school, moves in with Tam (Tam was not amused when she saw how he lived. Tim has never been so terrified.) and tries to keep a healthier work-life balance.

But Tim loaths the work as CEO, because it's so monoton he has too much time to overthink and it is what Jack and Janet Drake had always wanted for him. Tim did learn by now that he was never treated like he should have been. Not by the Drakes or the Wayne's. And so the decision is made that Tim needs to get out of Gotham - far, far away to heal.

Tim is smart, but he can also be so incredibly dumb sometimes. Which is why instead of being honest with family and friends, he fakes his death while in his Red Robin disguise and after that is secured he runs away before anyone can even properly mourn him. Tim would like to clap himself on the back, the death was a 10/10 in his mind with all the dramatic flair that his family naturally possess. Tam knows the truth immediately after all she didn't find the boy all across the world for nothing and so he instead gets nagged for hours on end after some hits.

(Tam later on does apologise. She had been worried sick as she once again went after him without knowing for sure that he lived and now they were in Malaysia.)

Tam refuses to leave and after a long talk with her father she decides on staying with Tim. Tim could have left again to shake off Tam, however he had always wanted to come to his mothers hometown and he was not willing to give that up now. They take up new identities, still engaged because its easier to explain and have a new life. The regular normie life does not work out for Tim that much. In winter Tim rescues a young child that's trapped on a frozen lake where locals were ice skating and is in danger of sinking. Unable to let a innocent person die, Tim takes one of the skates and relying on his training he is able to get the child back on safe land.

He was a bit too impressive as a figure skating coach saw him and Tim promptly gets scouted by the woman. At first he doesn't want to, but she is stubborn and Tam wants him to have a great future if that is what he wants as well. In the end he gives in and the coach is delighted because she wishes to come very far with Tim so her beloved, old company can see it's glory days again.

Cut to three years later, newly 21-year-old Tim comes on on the TV in the Manor while holding a gold medal. After the ceremony a young woman runs towards Tim and only when he spins her around do the people in the living room recognise them as Tam and Tim. Who were apparently newly married as a reporter states? Tim was secretly alive in another country and became a championship winner in figure skating?

Mayhem ensues.

[sing-me-under]

YOUR ART IS SO PRETTY! :) also as a fellow dsmp/batfam lover I was wondering who would be who if you made an au of the other? (From batfam to dsmp or dsmp to batfam, you can choose!) me personally Tommy gives a bit of Damian,,

Hello hello! Thank you very much ✨✨✨ I’m glad you like my art!

About the DSMP x Batfam AU…. I really had to think this one through. I love both of them, but they have such different character dynamics and ideologies. Even the very worlds they are set in are like complete opposites. However, I have also read like so many (so many) superhero AU fics for the DSMP (before the fandom tag got overwhelmingly oversaturated), so I have some thoughts on…

DSMP Characters as The Batfam

You’re right. c!Tommy does feel like he’d be a good match for Damian. Loves animals? Feral? Stabby? Genuinely good? Artistically-inclined? The youngest? If we’re going by characters traits, Tommy would absolutely be Damian… But if I did that, I’d spend way too much time comparing characters who can’t be compared… So my list is going to be based on vibes. Same vibes are also why I’m choosing to make L’Manberg the main members. I’m completely disregarding age, motivations, personality, etc. This is all (mostly) vibes. There is some justification for them.

I wasn’t able to think of a match for everyone, but I got a decent chunk.

Wilbur as Batman

Fundy as Nightwing

Quackity as Oracle

Tommy as Red Hood

Tubbo as Red Robin

Jack as Spoiler

Niki as Batwoman

Ranboo as Black Bat

Slime as Batgirl 2 (also Cass but specifically Batgirl-era)

Eret as Talia

Philza as Ghostmaker

Kristen as Martha and Thomas

Technoblade as Azrael

Karl and Sapnap as Harley and Ivy (who’s who? Idk)

Dream as the entire Rogue Gallery — every single rogue just compressed into one blob of a man

I felt compelled to draw Tommy as a Robin and Red Hood.

Notes under the cut. They’re explanations for what little of my thought process can be converted into comprehensible words. It’s long. I ramble A LOT. Read at your own peril.

I’m pretty sure the obvious explanations are Wilbur, Tubbo, Techno, Karl&Sapnap, and Dream.

c!Wilbur is so much like Bruce Wayne — it’s kind of not funny. There’s the obvious “led children to fight a war” thing, the “compulsively acquiring children because they won’t leave him alone” thing, the “becomes evil immediately after crossing the no kill thing” thing, and the “sad little meow meow wet rag of a man but still extremely charismatic” thing…

c!Tubbo and Tim Drake are the closest 1:1 of this entire list.

Okay, okay. c!Techno as Jean-Paul. The vibes are wrong if we’re talking about canon Azrael, but I’m specifically thinking of fanfiction/“goes to family dinners WFA-style” Azrael.

c!Karl and c!Sapnap have such “married anti-villains befriending the heroes” vibes. I love them so much in superpower AUs even when they’re not with c!Quackity. As I’m writing this, I’m remembering that Schlatt and Quackity are also very often written in a Joker x Harley Quinn situation, but we’re talking about Batfam!

Dream is like the caricature of a Gotham Rogue(TM). He’s got the sympathetic motivation sticky noted onto a decades’ worth of terrorism with only the vaguest hope of redemption that he’ll probably never actually get because he’s too popular as a villain. I could make a point for any character interpretation (both fanpn and canon) of c!Dream as Ivy, Penguin, Riddler, Scarecrow, Black Mask, Joker, etc. (also, not a Rogue, but Ra’s too)

The thing about the DSMP is that it almost feels like a reversal of DC. It’s like a mirror, the same solution from a reversed conclusion. That also means DSMP characters appear un-traumatized and naive then get completely fucked over by the sheer horror that is the SMP, meanwhile DC characters appear fresh from traumatized and find themselves in a position to believe in goodness. The late-stage DSMP was filled with isolation while DC heroes always end up in found families.

It’s why I couldn’t think of a proper match for Damian.

What I loved about late-stage c!Tommy is that he keeps (disguises) that hope and love for people despite everything. Meanwhile, Damian’s character development is learning all that from the ground up. The vibes are similar but not the same. Honestly, for a hot second, I considered Purpled as Damian but alas, not enough Purpled content. If I were to project my own timeline of events upon the DSMP, Purpled would make a great Damian-esque match.

But that does not change the fact that Tommy as Red Hood has the best vibes.

No one else is quite as “doomed by the narrative and irreversibly changed yet somehow still painfully compassionate” in the same way Tommy and Jason are (also the “rejecting their father/brother but still loving them unconditionally). Their vibes are truly something.

I’m also very stern in my belief that c!Tommy should never kill because it would negatively impact his character development, but he very very easily could have gone the Red Hood route. By technicality, it’s more like Tommy as Robin 2, but I so dearly love the potential of villain! and anti-villain!Tommy. It’s such an underutilized concept. (Also I wrote a protege AU like way back and it makes me think of Red Hood now lol)

But originally, I flip-flopped between Fundy as Red Hood and Tommy as Nightwing, but I dunno. The logic was there but the vibes weren’t.

If we were considering a timeline of events, Tommy would make a great Robin 1 with Fundy as Robin 2 . Dick Grayson was the OG child hero, much like Tommy. He was angry and craved justice but he was also full of Light. Meanwhile, c!Fundy grew up in Tommy’s shadow.

However, Fundy also has that “if I can’t make them smile, I’ll make them cry” thing that Villain Dick Graysons also tend to have. Dick is always like four steps away from flipping a switch and becoming a supervillain. He tries so fucking hard to do good, but if he ever determines that “being good” isn’t enough to “do good,” he takes over the world. But Dick would also like step away from toxic energy by holing himself up in his apartment filled with depression, which is exactly what Fundy did.

Fundy and Dick are more “blood-soaked wet cats with strained smiles and bowling alley carpet polos” and Tommy and Jason are more “dramatic Greek tragedies.”

The Batgirls and adjacent female Bat vigilantes came to me immediately, but it’s not as long as the above.

Quackity as Barbara Gordon. He followed Wilbur filled with Hope and Justice. Quackity makes an excellent Batgirl 1. His Las Nevadas arc would then be Oracle but Lawful Evil and also completely isolated from any friends, family, or rational support. Quackity isn’t inherently bad. He still has good intentions, and he’s still good at heart, irregardless of how he portrays himself. He’s the classic femme fatale, including the whole sexist Hollywood “he needs a strong male love interest to take care of him” thing because he is absolutely spiraling on his own. Anyway, I am a fiancés shipper, so this would lead to a Birds of Prey-esque team up of LN and Kinoko.

Jack Manifold has Stephanie Brown’s “glitter bomb in the face” and “functions entirely on spite but also is just really tired of being hurt” energy. Jack isn’t quite Stephanie, but his dynamic with Tubbo made me consider him as Spoiler. Also consider: Jack and The Nuke being Steph’s Robin 4 arc.

Slime is so much like Batgirl-era Cassandra. There’s a lot of “innocent vs naive, manipulated by those with intentions, both evil and morally just” going on. Batgirl!Slime and RH!Tommy would have such a dynamic. I think about Fort Big a lot.

It is literally a crime that c!Jack Manifold and c!Slime never interacted in the DSMP.

Ranboo as Black Bat. I don’t know how to explain it, but Tim Drake and Cassandra have such a great dynamic (albeit one that I’m only familiar with in fanfics). I was originally going to say Ranboo as Orphan, but I don’t think he’s quite there. Maybe GhostBoo as Orphan.

Speaking of ghosts, GhostBur as Carrie Kelley’s Robin. He’s in the wrong places at the wrong times and (unknowingly) shoves himself in situations, and he’s got that unfair “why” going on during Doomsday. Unfortunately, GhostBur suffers from memory loss and is often willfully ignorant. I think in an AU space where’s he’s an actual character and not the echo of an idea, he’d make a great elseworld-type Robin.

c!Niki is a WLW revolutionary war veteran with a very close relationship with Wilbur. There’s more, but again, Vibes.

Now here’s where my hot takes truly lie: Philza as Ghostmaker and Eret as Talia.

We all like Dadza but c!Phil? Absolutely not a Dad. If you actually look at c!Phil without the rose-tinted lens of his content creator’s dad energy, c!Phil and Ghostmaker aere weirdly similar? I really don’t know how to explain it exactly, but I think that Phil would have brought Wilbur up as like this weird amalgamation of BTK-era Bruce, Phantom One, and Clownhunter, leading to Wilbur eventually being… not abandoned because Phil wanted Wilbur to have more independence… but struggling to make it on his own. Eventually, Wilbur would follow his parents’ (Mumza would be Martha AND Thomas) footsteps and become something that’s essentially the same but different. Like how Ghostmaker is basically Tynion’s Batman OC but somehow more edgy except Wilbur is in the opposite direction. Like how Martha and Thomas saved people through philanthropy and surgery and Bruce wanted to save people in his own way too. Phil and Kristen influenced Wilbur towards fighting crime… Also I could totally see c!Phil becoming a crime fighter as a fun and challenging art form rather than any genuine interest in being a good person. c!Phil’s got that immortal dilemma where he’s basically a sociopath running purely on an ingrained and steadily eroding moral code.

Now… Eret as Talia. Where do I begin? I love Talia. She’s such a badass but also she’s a kind person who believes in Bruce’s cause but she’s also extremely loyal to her father’s cause but she loves her family so much but she’s also a assassin princess but the world is against her and everything she is will only continue going downhill until she either becomes straight up evil or stands her ground. I love the characterization of Talia who chose to side with “the greater good” against the person she loves and more has to live with the burden of this decision for the rest of her life and continue to do what needs to be done even, for better or worse… Did I say Talia? I meant Eret. Wait, no, it’s both. That applies to both. Talia’s choice is betraying Bruce to aid her in running a global assassin cult and killing people. Eret’s choice is betraying his revolution to run a monarchy and enforcing taxes. Yes, the vibes are the same.

This has been my TED talk. Thank you for reading this far.

[heroesriseandfall]

The schools I’m counting here:

Gotham Heights High School — the first public school Tim ever went to, which Bruce enrolled him in while Jack was in his coma after Janet died. This is where he met Ives. His first girlfriend Ariana transferred into there. He only went there as a 14 year old freshman, and left the school when the Drakes moved to Keystone City during No Man’s Land.

Brentwood Academy — the private boarding school in Bristol that Jack put him in after No Man’s Land as a consequence for running away three times in a row. He went there less than 1 semester, age 15. Jack married Dana Winters over Tim’s spring break…and Steph learned his secret identity right before another spring break, so he had two spring breaks there?

Louise E. Grieve Memorial High School — another public school, which Tim went to at age 16, after the Drakes became middle class and could no longer afford private school. This is where he met Bernard (and Darla Aquista/Laura Fell). The school got attacked during War Games, then Tim’s dad died, so he was there for probably less than a full semester? Or at most less than a full school year.

John Wayne High School (in Blüdhaven) — the school Tim very briefly went to when he moved to Blüdhaven by himself after Jack died. He got his fake uncle to unenroll him as soon as possible, so he didn’t go for long. The students there were massively insensitive about the shooting at Tim’s previous school.

Gotham City High School — the school Tim went to at age 17, once he was adopted by Bruce. Ives ended up there too so they reunited, and he met Zoanne Wilkins there. Steph also ended up there, once she came back from “faking” her death, which I believe was the only time they officially attended the same school. Tim stopped going when he ran away to find proof Bruce was alive.

It is honestly very understandable he didn’t graduate. It’d be a miracle if he had.

Guy who thinks he’s asking a simple question to a regular young adult: So, where’d you go to high school?

Tim Drake, who attended precisely 5 high schools and did not graduate from any of them: uhhhh

[brucewaynehater101]

Grandpa Janet's maiden name, father of David Cain, Mary Grayson, and Janet I honestly hc that Drake is actually her maiden name and Jack took her name instead of the other way around because Janet's family had more of a history and let Jack somewhat avoid the nouveau riche label, was indeed a supporter of trans rights and he got into many bar fights as a younger man when he stepped between a lady and a dude who wouldn't take no for an answer. Grandpa Drake was of the belief that "no" was a full and complete sentence and one of his pet peeves was people trying to badger others into changing the "no" to a "yes". Grandpa Drake studied pharmaceutical chemistry and took Drake Industries into the medical field.

He met the future Grandma Drake in one of the bar fights. She was a ballerina and had the skill and strength to break a man's neck with a kick if she wanted. Normally she just broke legs or noses instead. She was her ballet troupe's mom friend and designated driver. She was also the sort of person who learned things just for the sake of learning them and after marriage her occupation was essentially professional student.

Shortly after Janet and Jack married, Grandma and Grandpa were abducted by an alien, a past lover of Grandma who had also fallen for Grandpa and this was the alien's way of trying to rekindle their relationship with Grandma while also trying to start a relationship with Grandpa. Maybe they're still alive somewhere in space. Possibly Tim will run into them if he and YJ have more space shenanigans.

The Respectful Womanizer Grandpa Drake AU!

That post was a bit ago, so I don't feel like scowering my page to look for it.

I hc Jack took Janet's name as well, regardless if that's factually accurate.

What I remember for the AU and important parts:

Tim's grandfather, Janet's father, was a womanizer. He loved woman. He thus fathered David Cain and Mary Grayson (which makes Tim, Dick, and Cass biological cousins).

Despite loving women, he did not badger them. In fact, that's one of the easiest and instant ways to get on his shit list (trying to force, coerce, or wear someone down for sex). He also loves all women and has had many relations with any consenting individual who identified as such near his age range.

He did face some social backlash and shit cause of the time period, but he was a rich, white man. He also didn't give a fuck what the others said and loved getting into fights (he got smarter about how he picked fights and how he aired out his grievances [more manipulative and subtle if he could]).

Grandma Drake met Grandpa Drake during a bar fight. Obviously, gramps had to ask the gorgeous lady (who could beat the shit out of many grown men in a row) out to at least dinner. Grandma, who saw gramps beating the shit out of disgusting guys and calling out their behavior, agrees.

Grandma and Grandpa Drake have an open relationship, and they are happy with it. They discussed healthy boundaries and how it affected their marriage (which they both agreed to for the legal and social benefits. They loved each other, but they didn't need to get married for their own personal relationship). For plot's sake, let's say Mary and David were born before the grandparents got married. Grandma Drake knew of this and supported Gramps being whatever role of parent both bio parents agreed to.

Janet was born shortly after they got married and was raised on their cunning nature to fight for what they believe in. She saw her father use Drake Industries for good and wanted to discover more about the beauty of humans (including how different cultures treat social statuses/roles [like gender, romance, relationships, attraction, etc.] and how people are free to be themselves).

The part where the grandparents get kidnapped by an alien who's interested in both of them and thus they are alive when Tim runs into them in space? Pure crack and I love it