#me: i think i might have bpd

[you-ate-glue-you-eat-ass]

being undiagnosed is so frustrating to me because its like. yeah i know theres something wrong with me. yeah i have a vague idea of what it is. no i cant ‘prove’ that i actually have issues and i cant ‘prove’ to myself that im not just making this up. haha what

[azzymaxxing]

IFUCKING WIN

[silasamerica]

List of cluster b characters I like

(DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT HAVE ANY CLUSTER B DISORDERS I DO NOT KNOW MORE ABOUT THE DISORDERS THAN DOCTORS OR PEOPLE WITH THEM DO I JUST LIKE LEARNING ABOUT CLUSTER B DISORDERS SINCE I LIKE LEARNING ABOUT MENTAL DISORDERS AND I HAVE FRIENDS WITH CLUSTER B DISORDERS ANYWAYS. DO NOT EXPECT ME TO BE 100% CORRECT I AM NOT THE BEACON OF ALL KNOWLEDGE IF SOMETHING IS OFFENSIVE HERE I WILL APOLOGIZE AND TAKE DOWN THE POST)

[lesbiansanemi]

Ykw I am officially claiming Akaza as bpd. Tbh even way before I thought/admitted that was probably one of my main problems I was always like “yeah that dude has bpd” and would write him as such even if I never outright said it anywhere but yeah anyways I think he has bpd thanks <3

[fishing-lesbian-catgirl]

Feeling a certain kind of way today. I don’t think it’s good

[aesrot]

why is it so hard to find good info abt cluster b and/or their symptoms -.-

[amentet-draws]

Really sad that my activity is getting so poor these days. 2-3 notes (besides mine) is frustrating.

What's this, me being not active myself? Abd my content being weak)? (but I used to get at least 29 with same stuff in the past. There were times when my art reached around 100. Checked my archive - last year, around Christmas, I was posting more non-fandom art, and it got enough notes).

Or the algorithm not liking me? Maybe, really, due to my previous long inactivity (but again in summer my photos gained much more).

[mikotoz]

♪ Intro

Name: Ave/Yume/Yuume/Yuu

Pronouns: He/They

Hiii!! I will use this account to post my art, my ocs and my mikojohn nuis^•^

Mikoto/John/Midokoto nonsharing yumeshipper/selfshipper and gachikoi, if you have anything against that please dont interact...

Im very normal about Mikoto Kayano if you couldn't tell

Interests:

Main interests: Milgram and jirai kei

Other interests: Various visual novels, project sekai, rpgmaker games, rhythm games in general, composing and music in general

I also like iyowa and pianos!!

WARNING: I may like some media that is problematic or/and really weird (in a bad way), please dont interact if you are uncomfortable with that

Other: I have bpd and im also neurodivergent so please be patient...Im also a possible system

I might also get very defensive over my favorite characters

Thankyou for reading...

[sacrificial-hare]

Starting to think that maybe someone fucked up diagnosing me all those years ago.

[wet-canid]

i crave attention of any kind, negative or not

[s-ccaam-era-crepe]

brrreaking news scam had a meltdown about change in front of its mother and she didn’t understand !!!! more coming at 2

[loving-puppy]

The desperate cravings for anons. I want you to notice me! I want you to see me!! Don't I deserve attention too??

[snow-and-saltea]

finished like 153 chapters in one night. i love these kinds of executions for yandere characters so much. i love it when a story takes mental illness and psychological brokenness seriously and still be able to create a beautiful interpretation without fetishizing that appeals to the very raw and basic nature of wanting to be loved so badly that fractures a person. i love stories like this that show us the worst of a person but doesn't rush to ease them again. i love stories that show the darkest pits of the human psyche and makes you go, "this is happening but it isn't the end. wait just a bit, and ill show you how things get better." i LOVE when stories do that; get all meta and create a story within the story that the actors/characters have to now see their way through and reach the scripted happy ending that feels impossible and illogical to reach as a conclusion, but happened anyways. stories that are seemingly taken out of the author's hands and into the characters instead and them being like "i know you believe this happy ending to be false, because you can't believe it'll be achievable through anything but delusion. but just wait, i'll show you." (thinking particularly about the princess iron fan arc in act age bc that still makes me tear up)

the depiction of ptsd and mental illness was something i was particularly touched by, too. the "problematic" aspects, ugly aspects, of mental illness were addressed so kindly and compassionately, and the solution never felt like it was straight up telling you "you're messed up. this isn't right, you're not normal". this is something i would've expected reading a story with a yandere character, because for most people the appeal of a yandere is to be attracted to someone who is Fucked up but hot. but like. even rebuttals like "no that's not normal! that scares me!" were handled so casually -- almost to the point you could call it carelessly, but it wasn't careless at all. it was a deliberate choice to not make a Huge deal about being turned off by someone's thoughts or preferences that made for a much more judgement-free and loving environment to agree or disagree with each other.

rindo is really the ideal wish fulfillment for mentally ill buddies like me along w kim kitsuragi sjjdjdjfkfkf. like i kept waiting for the other shoe to drop, to see the twist that oh this guy is gonna be fucked up too! bc of the Genre! but no. he's kind, steadfast and humourous, and is so generous w his capacity to love people. he might be understood as a selfless martyr type with the way he keeps wanting to reassure amane even during really troubling events in the plot, but he was never traumatised by those events and he had a clear and sane mind the entire time. its so easy to think of him as a "victim" in an overbearing codependent relationship in the story, but he's just really emotionally resilient. he doesn't give up, he doesn't take hurtful words at face value because he knows something deeper is at play, he doesn't hesitate opening up first and being vulnerable or pushy if it helps amane feel less ugly being vulnerable with his thoughts and desires towards him.

this is a fictional story and not irl, so obviously like. irl, you wouldn't want to enmesh yourself so deeply with someone that you'll die if they do. but he was willing to do that. not necessarily that, but the same gesture -- "if i ever betray you, you can kill me, and then we'll both be the last thing we'll see". on paper, even just writing it, makes me sound insane and delusional. how could this be something someone sane could say? but he WAS sane, because he was also saying "you said you love me so much you want to die with me, so you must also mean that you love me so much you want to live with me forever. this means your heart wants to be with me, so stop deceiving yourself into thinking you'll be fine. know that my heart and yours are joined in the same way, because i want to see you at the end of my life too, and there's nothing wrong with that."

rindo has such a great talent for finding multiple meanings, often positive, to amane's thoughts. because his mind is often muddy and swamped with unpleasant words and memories when he spirals / ruminates , he can't stick his hand through it long enough to see what comes out when he pulls out of it. very natural, normal and human desires you form with someone you love: "i love you. i'm scared you'll leave me someday. i want to be with you forever. i don't know if i deserve to be this happy. i love you. i love you. i love you. i don't want to spend a day without you. i want you to be happy and i want to be involved in making you happy, but i feel so incompetent that i'm worried i'll fail too much. i love you. please love me back.”

the way the characters in this story is so kind genuinely ... makes me want to cry. like rindo's mom accidentally saying homophobic things at first out of surprise but then her Maternal instincts took over and she could have another son to shower with love. the way everyone looks out for them but doesn't judge their relationship or try to messily break them away from each other or intervene for their "own good". there's no unnecessary drama or misunderstanding that isn't solved within 1-2 chapters in a really clear, reassuring tone (while also maintaining a natural pace so as to be thoughtful to the writing).

man. i cried multiple times reading this story. i was just here for the yandere BL ride, not the unexpected feeling of love and validation for my mental health issues?!

[snortoborto]

Does anyone else have trouble engaging in fandom online because you're just afraid that everyone hates you? Like everything you have to say will just be annoying?

I hate being open for interpretation by others. Especially as someone who constantly over explains, cause I'm so scared of being misinterpreted. Like, it's okay for everyone else to have fun online...but not me, lest I accidentally come across wrong.

I can accept that everyone else is passionate and talented, when it comes to posting fandom related content, but I'm so scared to post or talk about anything I like too much. Everyone else's art and opinions and posting habits are fun and endearing, but when I do it, it's cringe.

I just wish I didn't police myself so heavily. I overthink everything and it always keeps me at an arm's length from like, connecting with people and making friends online.

[nyancatdisconnected]

Anyway just had a breakdown time to go on tumblr and be silly on a soap ask blog 🤑

[constellarcreator]

Might leave the one psychonauts discord im in lol