#micro/macro author

[narrans]

Next OC Ask

Hey there Tall, small, and in the walls,

It's that time again - a new OC Ask. Who would you like to hear from next?

Cheers and, as always, stay awesome! ~Narrans

[ricecakesarentcakes]

I also wanna say that I graduated undergrad with one of my majors being “women and gender studies” in 2018 and trans people were not mentioned in any of my classes. My main, brilliant professor with phds in both women’s studies and psychology (I know it’s more specific than that but i don’t remember) had us reading about and discussing socialization, men as an oppressor class, micro & macro examples of sexism, and systemic misogyny. We talked and read and wrote about female liberation. We discussed a ton of feminist theory and various feminist authors. We focused heavily on the intersections of misogyny and race, sexuality, and class. And the focus was always women and our sex based oppression. This sexist trend of dismissing or diminishing misogyny and dancing around the reality that women are an oppressed class is new and fragile. Less than 10 years ago genuine feminist sentiments were gaining mainstream traction. We can make up the lost ground.

[physalian]

How to Make your Writing Less Stiff 4

Let’s keep this train rollin’! This time less down to line edits and more overall scope of your narrative

Part 3

1. Foreshadowing

Nothing quite like the catharsis of accurately predicting where something’s going to go. It doesn’t have to be a huge plot twist or a character death, it can (and should) be little things that reward your audience for paying attention. Double points if it adds to rewatch/re-readability.

Example: In The Dark Knight, this exchange happens:

Harvey: “You’ve known Rachel all her life.”

Alfred: “Oh, not yet, Sir.”

You won’t think anything of it on your first watch. Alfred is just making a witty joke that throws Harvey off. Watch the movie again, when Rachel dies, and it becomes some incredibly dark foreshadowing. Turns out Alfred has, actually, known Rachel all her life.

2. Chekhov’s Gun

Chekhov’s Gun is a narrative concept where a seemingly inconsequential element introduced at some point in the narrative (a gun) must “fire” by the end of the narrative. Sometimes this element leaves audiences uneasy or anxious, because they know something bad must come of it. Sometimes they think nothing of it until it’s about to fire and you get a one-two punch of the realization that it’s about to hit, and then the impact of the hit. It helps create tension, and tension is incredibly important (if you want a whole post of my take on it, lmk).

It also helps your narrative look more cohesive, where nothing is left on the table. Your set-ups and payoffs leave no threads dangling.

3. Repetition

The Rule of threes can apply on a micro and macro scale. I like doing lists of adjectives in threes, (e.g. My cat is soft, fluffy, and adorable) because the cadence and the flow of three is something we’re familiar with in spoken language. We like three supporting examples for an argument. Any less doesn’t feel strong enough, any more feels like you’re trying too hard. This is not a rule it’s a suggestion.

On a grander scale, you can look at the script of Curse of the Black Pearl for a masterclass in macro rules of three, like three parlays. Doing this helps your narrative look more cohesive and like every detail is thoroughly interwoven and nothing is coincidence. Your audience will get to the third instance and mimic that DiCaprio pointing meme—they will absolutely notice.

4. Motifs

Motifs as well, beyond threes, help. Colors are a huge one. For example every time you mention the color purple, you could attach it to an emotion, or a character, or an important plot beat, like how leitmotifs work for character themes in movies and TV shows.

Obvious examples in film are like lightsaber colors or dressing up the good guys in white and the bad guys in black. I did this whole post about color in fiction.

It’s a lot of other things too. Weather elements and times of day, or specific inconsequential objects popping up over and over again, like birds, or litter, fallen leaves, clothing items. Whenever the narrative mentions them, the author is trying to clue you in on some subtext within that scene.

—

My new novel is here!!! Do you like supernatural fantasy? How about queer vampires? How about acespec characters? Then Eternal Night of the Northern Sky is for you!

[blackkat15]

Like R.I.P. to Agent Fowler but this is insanely hot

Bro Season One Episodes Three and Four of Transformers Prime got me feeling shit.

[wholegrainvore]

hello, do you have any recommendations for other vore blogs? ive only recently started looking for vore stuff on tumblr and its so hard to navigate bc of the ban :/ i like male pred and digestion stuff as well if that helps! thank you

ooo let me show a couple of my favourite blogs some love!!

@nombitenary - chris is such a good pred and has VERY rich lore hehehe

@teal-fiend - very good povs and well-written scenarios!!!! i eat their stuff up genuinely i don't think anyone puts more thought into the Implications of vore existing in a society so its really a pleasure to read their posts ^-^

@voraciousvore - VERY long macro/micro stories with awesome worldbuilding and overarching plots w/ vore as a recurring plot device 😳

@voraciousbeast - the lovable beast!!! look through his art and writing lots of good food here

@verydigestible - such good ocs ghjdjdgbhjdhgfd

@squirmifyoulike - LOTS OF FATAL VORE SCENARIOS!!!! squirm provides us our good good food. everyone say thank you squirm.

@monster-teef - go through its writing tags if u want to absolutely lose your mind. monster-teef is one of my favourite vore writers on tumblr ghkdghdfj

@ltsmoving - VERY VERY COOL OCS quality posts

@phantum - has old man vore yaoi 10/10

@mmmleckerlecker - BREAKING NEWS: BELOVED AUTHOR OF HEART PANGS ALSO HAS GREAT POSTS

@teefsntums - arthur is constantly serving quality art and groundbreaking new vore ideas never been seen before 😙👌

@dinnergirl - not exclusively a vore blog but uhhh... this bun tends to attract preds~ quality voreposts found here

if any of you want to be removed from this post pls let me know!! also if anyone knows more blogs that anon might like feel free to reblog and add them!!

[spiciestmango]

Even More Obscure Kinks Ask Game :3 🔎

Feel free to add on to this- pls do actually im having a hard time finding more and more kinks and my pupbrain doesnt hold onto info very well!! (also please be mindful of people's limits!)

Everything assumes adults having either fantasy, roleplay or full consent of all parties even when stated otherwise yadda yadda yadda yall know how to be safe in kink im not your sex ed teacher

Milder Section (For stuff that is still fun to ask abt but isnt that obscure in the grand scheme of things!)

Facefucking or Facesitting

Breathplay or Sensory depravation

Biting or Scratching

Somnophillia or Intox sex

Kigurumi/Onesie or Job Uniform (Nurse, Mailperson, etc)

Latex or Leather

Intercrural sex or Dry humping

Felching or Snowballing

Authority Figure or Monster/Alien

Robots or Undead

Age play or Pet play

Fauxest or Fauxbeast

Dacryphillia or Sexual obsession

Crotch Spanking or Crotch Worship

Pool/Hot tub sex or Sex in the wilderness

Edging or Overstim

Stuckage or Leash pulling

Sex While Pregnant or Guaranteed Impregnation

On display for an audience or All hands on you

Omorashi or Piss Drinking

Cum Marking or Piss marking

Pissing inside orifice or Public Pissing

Knotted or Equine cocks

Barbed or Tapered cocks

Tentacles or Alien genitals

Queefing or Farting

Hands or Feet

Squirting or Lactation

Thighs or Tummy

Underwear gag or O-Ring gag

Pain/Blood/Fear section (Some gore-y themes warning)

31. Period Sex or Drawing Blood Elsewhere 32. Cupping or Waxplay 33. Electrostimulation or Temperature Play 34. Cattle Branding or Name Carving 35. Gunplay or Knifeplay 36. Figging or Flogging 37. Medplay or Kidnapping 38. Blackmail or CBT 39. Tummy punches or Nipple clamps 40. Spanked until bruised or Hickeys everywhere 41. Quadruped Suit or Gimp 42. Pinwheel or Ice 43. Spiked paddle or Caning 44. Anal punishment or Kicking 45. Ball squeezing or Cock Pulling 46. New Piercing or Wound Stinging (With lemon, alcohol, etc) 47. Orgasm from spanking or Orgasm from Biting 48. Vivisection or Woundfucking 49. Waterboarding or Chained torture 50. Cigarette/Blunt/Joint burning or Predicament Bondage

Wilder Section (Stuff you might not see often!)

51. Vacbed or Claustrophilia 52. Forced Exposure or Unknowing Participant 53. Crush Fetish or Spinning Fetish 54. Pullups or Puppypads 55. Sneeze induced orgasm or Hypno trigger induced orgasm 56. Foodplay or Mysophilia 57. Lithophilia or Pygmalionism 58. Oviposition or Improvised Sex toy 59. Plant sex or Primal play 59. Locked in clothing or Locked out of bathroom 60. Sex with Planes or Sex with Trains 61. Bound together or Suspension play 62. IRL Hypnosis tracks or Clicker Training 63. Rapebaiting or Public Stealth Toy 64. 24 hour insertion or 24/7 servitude 65. Ponyplay or Cattleplay 66. Sybian or Through wall 67. Boofing or Forcefeed 68. Stock/Pillory or Hogtied 69. Navel sex or Armpit sex 70. Emetophilia or Nasophilia

Fantasy Section (Stuff that you probably cant even come close to replicating or cosplaying IRL)

71. Macro or Micro 72. Pooltoy Transformation or Plushie Transformation 73. Mummification or Cobweb bondage 74. Parasitic Pregnancy or Alternate Pregnancy 75. Living Toy or Oral Vore (this is just regular vore) 76. Unbirth or Anal vore 77. Earfucking or all the way through (ass through mouth) 78. Portalpanties or Voodoo doll 79. TGTF (Not detrans) or Huge size difference (5 ft or more) 80. Knotted and hanging between or Instant egg laying 81. Nullification/Nullcrotch or Amputation Bondage 82. Petrification or Slime absorption 83. Clone gangbang or Selfcest 84. Magic during sex or Being put on the experiment table 85. Instant aphrodisiac or Body swap 86. Crowded public use (Train, Bus, etc) or Cursed Womb Tattoo 87. Feral x Feral or Monster x Monster 88. Cumflation or Other fluid inflation 89. Hypergenitals or Bodily fluid bath 90. Ghost hands or Magical/Alternate cum

Bad ends (Kind of an extension of the fantasy section)

91. Mind Break or Perma Vored (Digested) 92. Permanent Ownership or Perma TF 93. Loss of sentience or Loss of body control 94. Drowned or Bled out 95. No escape from corrupted reality or No escape from compromised mind 96. Torn apart by monster or Experimental mishap 97. Coerced and forced betrayal of a loved one (rape, harm, etc) or That betrayal being done to you without you ever finding out. 98. Slow painful mutation or merging with another being 99. Never finding a way home or Home never being the same 100. Blackmail released to the public or Falsely accused but never believed

BONUS: Pokemon themed section (Because its MY blog and I have the right to invoke the author's poorly disguised fetish in my fetish post 😡)

101. Trainer x Pokemon or Pokemon x Pokemon 102. Type advantage or Level drain 103. Stage 3 evo x Stage 1 evo or Evolution denial (Everstone) 104. Quadruped, Biped or Other 105. Breed till a shiny egg or Status effects during sex 106. Mid-sex evolution or Forced, unwanted evolution 107. Getting Mystery Dungeon'd or TF into pokemon but in the mainline world (You can no longer speak to humans) 108. Raped/passed around by your pokemon team or Team of pokemon specifically for sex 109. Bondage themed moves (Vine whip, Freeze shock, etc) or Coercion themed moves (Hypnosis, attract, etc) 110. Caught in a pokeball or Unremovable pokemon costume

[quefish77]

Ineffable Kinktober 2024!

The Ineffable Kinktober list is here!

Don't forget, this isn't a challenge, do as many or as few as you are inspired to!

Art, fic, interpretive dance, sculpture, pipe-cleaners if so inclined ...

Post here! https://archiveofourown.org/collections/Ineffable_Kinktober_2024/profile

Graphic text: (I'm not changing the twitter bird icon, screw that BS!)

1. Wings 2. Virginity 3. Authority 4. True form/Eldritch 5. Piercings/Tattoos 6. Spanking 7. Role Play 8. Halos 9. Micro/Macro 10. ​Rescue 11. ​​Horns/Tails 12. ​Medical 13. Somnophilia​ 14. ​Glory Hole/Anonymous 15. ‘I hope this doesn’t awaken anything in me’ 16. Clothing/Tartan 17. Knife/Swordplay 18. ​Sex to Music (Queen Edition) 19. Inebriation (Drugs/Alcohol) 20. The Bentley 21. Hidden (eg: Under the Table) 22. Laughing/Tickling 23. Masturbation 24. Danger/Helplessness 25. Feeding/Food Play 26. Praise/Degradation 27. Nipple Play 28. Cuckold 29. Gags/Ballgags 30. Toys 31. Creator's Choice

[toniejestblog]

Don’t mind me, I’m just thinking how culturally and socially we are conditioned to choose Verso’s ending.

Disclaimer: This is not anti-/pro- any Ending (even if I skew a little). This is just me trying to make sense of it, outside the discourse and interpretations concerning character perspective and intrinsic motivations (Verso and Maelle), agency and its theft, micro vs macro scale of the worldbuilding, the sentience of Lumière citizens and value of art, and, letting go of the grief. In this ramble, I focus solely on the storytelling element across majorly Western cultures, our mortality system, and how this would unconsciously bias our choice.

Another disclaimer: I’m all for healthily processing grief. Sadly, I don’t see it in what was shown in either ending. I see it, however, in events that could potentially happen later in both endings.

Obvious spoilers under the cut.

Point I: the Monomyth, i.e. the Hero comes back to their world changed, once the journey is over

In countless media we see characters embark on beautiful journeys across other worlds, be in different dimensions, alternatives timelines, or fictional universes. These stories also often feature antagonists who struggle with grief and the desire to reverse loss at great cost. Such narratives almost always resolve with a “return”: the hero had their adventure, they’ve grown ("You will know love and you will know pain" Maelle's canvas mother said), and now it’s time to go back to the “real” world, the one that matters (cue the Monomyth).

However, I wonder if the above character archetype/story structure can be so easily applied to Clair Obscur due its own unique worldbuilding.

To say that Alicia (now Maelle) has "grown enough" in the Canvas, and must return to her "original world" is based on the classic reading of the Monomyth, and this view posits her as the typical heroine who is an intruder, or visitor, to a different realm and who ultimately needs to leave (she falls into Canvas as Alice falls into Rabbit Hole). But Alicia, although literally, doesn’t just fall into the Canvas—she lives two full lives within it, and thus, enters a liminal stage. She spent two different lives in two different dimensions, and her existence had two very different natures (one reborned as Maelle, a Canvas mortal, and one as Alicia, an outsider god). The classical western storytelling would argue against that liminality. The comeback to the "real" world is inevitable.

Farah Mendlesohn, in Rhetorics of Fantasy (2008), discusses "portal-quest" fantasies, that is narratives where protagonists enter magical worlds through portals but must eventually return. These stories preserve the “real” world’s dominance and often serve as allegories for growth and reintegration. If we apply that frame here, choosing Verso’s ending mimics this familiar pattern. But Clair Obscur at the same time resists that closure. The story could be not about returning, but remaining and transforming (Alicia becoming not a Paintress in the end, but a Curator; but that's for a different post).

It’s okay if anyone sees it in this way, you can feel any way you like about the game. But personally, I think of Barthes' concept of the “Death of the Author” (1977) which argues that player interpretation is shaped by cultural templates. This would explain why, most people, could be naturally drawn to Verso’s ending (for this particular reason amongst other reasons), because that’s what we are used to; firstly by the character archetype and secondly by the story structure.

Point II: Death gives meaning to life

It’s interesting how we only attach meaning to life if there is death. How life is only worth it if it ends, just like everything else. If it's not ephemeral, it's not beautiful. The finality of death is what serves for us as a warning and guiding point. We grow and change because we can die one day. This belief runs deep in Western existentialism. Heidegger argues that only through the awareness of death (Being-toward-death) can individuals live authentically (1927). Moreover, we are constantly reminded of the threat of immortality and how it strips away morality, humanity, and any meaning to our actions in a very nihilistic way.

The destruction of the canvas brings closure and finality, and, because it ends in ultimate death (in and outside the Canvas), it gives meaning to Verso’s life. And we want his life to have meaning, we want all our deaths to matter. But Verso’s life and death are also more than the ones he had outside, or inside, the Canvas.

For me, In Clair Obscur, it feels like projecting our, players’ reality, and assigning value from our mortality system, onto the game’s reality. And understandably so. But the game ‘s world offers its own systems.

Painted!Clea says "Don’t worry, death in there isn’t final. Every Canvas has its own rules. And I find death a boring outcome. Don’t you, Alicia?"

Young, original Verso gave Gestrals the reincarnation river, what they call "the gift of new beginnings" which is, ultimately (very importantly) a voluntary decision on their side. The argument I often see, is that in Maelle’s ending she robs people of mortality, as she can revive them with her godlike Painter powers, and thus, makes their life meaningless. There is no direct evidence supporting that (and as most things in both endings it relies on speculation), and moreover their new found immortality (or renewed mortality) does not have to be as binding for them as it was for Painted!Verso. Multiple lifetimes can be as beautiful and valuable as only one. For P!Verso, his painted life was not really his own and thus he found no silver lining in it (not to mention it being stained by other people's grief). Maelle-Alicia, in her second life which was her own and not bereft of agency, found purpose and inspiration (similarly to characters in Pratchett's Thief of Time (2001)).

(Bonus) Point III: narrative structures, we love parallelism

Eagleton (2003) argues that Western narratives fetishize tragedy as morally redemptive and aesthetically satisfying (Verso's continuous sacrifice which starts the story and ends the story).The Clair Obscur begins with creation of the Canvas and ends with its destruction. This mimics Genesis-to-Apocalypse narrative arcs prominent in Judeo-Christian storytelling traditions. Verso's ending offers rhythm and symmetry. (At least on the surface) it's a cleaner cut with much less space for speculation than in Maelle's ending. Her ending feels more emotionally and ethically complicated ergo narratively unfinished. Its ambiguity is more post-modern than Verso's more traditional,classical ending.

TLDR; We repeat familiar narrative patterns from (Western) storytelling culture which is built around dualism (life/death, good/evil)("You think in false dichotomies" Lune tells us and Verso), and we gravitate towards familiarity and closure they offer. We’re drawn to the hero who returns, to death as the validator of life, and to the ending that "makes sense" in our cultural logic. But what if Clair Obscur asks: what if sense-making lies elsewhere?

You choose where.

[narrans]

My Borrowed Son | 6 | Learning to Play

Chapter Six | Learning to Play

That night, Amanda and Mel went back to the park with the hand-sized boy and searched around the ground in hopes of finding some additional clues as to why he was all alone. Amanda showed Mel where she had found him and, sadly, there was no sign the area had been disturbed or returned to.

It was heart wrenching.

Was no one looking for him?

Amanda and Mel even set him back down by the base of the bench and walked several steps away, but that proved to be a disaster when the little boy chased after Amanda, whimpering and crying. He even charged into the thick blades of grass after her. It must have looked like a menacing jungle forest, but it didn’t seem to matter.

When Amanda approached, he timidly sniffled and held up his arms, as if to say “hold me” as his little fingers grasped at the air.

Amanda feared that the little boy might have seen something happen to one or both of his parents and that he knew Amanda was his only chance. She brought this up to Mel, who silently seemed to agree.

Needless to say, Mel and Amanda returned back to Amanda’s apartment and spent the evening discussing other facets of life. They had a picnic on the boxes and kept the boy between them as they ate and made plans for how to proceed. He had room to roam, but he mostly kept himself curled in Amanda’s hand and looked back and forth between Mel and her while they talked. He absorbed every word and seemed to know they were talking about him.

Specifically, how they were going to come up with an explanation for his existence without revealing him to the world.

“I’m just afraid of what’ll happen if I take him anywhere else to get him checked out or if they want too much proof. If he’s some kind of new species of human or some kind of government experiment that got out, I don’t want him shuffled off to some containment unit to be experimented on,” urged Amanda.

“I get what you’re saying, Mandy. But, that whole delayed birth certificate is going to be tricky,” reminded Mel. “Are you sure you’re up for it?”

Amanda felt the pressure of the little boy climbing back onto her fingers after retrieving another fragment of cracker and knew her answer immediately.

“Yes, I’m sure. If something happens or if I’m questioned, I’ll find the right things to say. Until then, I can’t just leave him,” replied Amanda. She brushed the boy’s shoulder with her thumb, which he leaned into. His thoughtful brown eyes gazed up at her as he gave her a crumb filled smile.

It was the look on the child’s face that said it all.

Mel and Amanda continued to talk well into the night as the infinitesimal boy fell asleep in Amanda’s hand, cracker on his chest and part of a blanket on his torso. Plans were made to meet up and have another check-up with the boy in a few days as well as plan out how they were going to get some documents for the little boy.

“I guess I’ll be seeing a lot more of you then,” grinned Mel. “No more monthly calls. I got promoted to weekly. Maybe even bi-weekly. All right!” They hugged and then Mel headed home for the night while Amanda shut herself in for the night.

The rule usually is never wake a sleeping baby, but the reasoning of making sure he was cleaned up and ready for bed was too much for Amanda to resist. She made sure the boy was tidy and had a little to drink before carrying him to her room where she placed him back into the box on his bed, fingers laying against him, as the two of them drifted off to sleep.

When Amanda woke up, she saw the little boy was curled fully into her hand using her thumb as a pillow. It was mesmerizing seeing the way his light sandy blonde hair fell over his eyes as he slept peacefully. Amanda had slept much better than the night before, which wasn’t much of a challenge, and was thankful the boy was getting some rest.

Not willing to wake him, Amanda carefully proceeded with the events of her day while keeping her hand level and steady. She kept the blanket from the box draped over him as she washed her face, retrieved her morning coffee, and brought her laptop to her room where she continued to type up her reports with just one hand.

Then, just like the day before, he stirred awake. He looked a little less confused than he did the day before, and his smile was the sunshine of the day as he looked up into Amanda’s eyes.

“Good morning,” she said. “Did you sleep so good? Ready to get some breakfast?” He nodded sleepily and pushed himself upright, looking up at Amanda thoughtfully before she stood and brought him to the bathroom.

While he ate on the kitchen counter, taking little bites and looking around while he chewed, Amanda thought about what kind of life he must have been living up until this point. Specifically, she was concerned when she brought up the concept of “play” and he had little to no reaction.

She wasn’t sure whether or not the boy knew how to play, which made her very sad. He was so sweet and deserved to know how to have fun.

In the meantime, she needed to get back to work. She would have time to devise a way to have fun with him during her lunch break and during dinner. She collected the little boy, making sure he wiped up with a wet washcloth, before bringing him back to her room.

The moment Amanda sat down, she knew working and keeping an eye on the child were going to be a challenge. For one, the little boy was gaining some energy back. Barely thirty-six hours after giving him some food and water and the boy was already climbing over the mountain of blankets on Amanda’s bed. Each one must have looked like a massive, fuzzy hill to the boy, but he didn’t seem to care. He climbed, hand over fist, to the top of each mound and rolled back down.

He never went far, but how quickly and how easily he tumbled down the soft, squashy surface of the comforter made Amanda’s heart pound and skip like a flat stone on water.

Then, the boy took to climbing on Amanda, clambering up her leg and then to her arm where he would try to get to her hands. He was gently plucked up and set to the side each time, which made him smile and, at one point, giggle even.

He seemed like he was having a good time, which was what mattered.

Maybe he did know how to play.

It was finally lunch time, and it was obvious the miniscule boy was hungry. When Amanda asked if he wanted to eat, he nodded and made no protest in climbing onto Amanda’s hand.

His ability to adapt is absolutely astounding. Seriously, he’s already showing so much trust. Is it meant to endear me to him? Like a survival technique? Or is it him actually trusting me?

Amanda thought about it from a perspectives point of view, and she shuddered to think of what it would be like to have something – someone – loom over her and be able to pick her up in a single hand.

He truly is remarkable.

Lunch was a very simple hot ham and cheese sandwich, which Amanda had to pinch because she was worried the boy wouldn’t be able to bite through the thick meat. She made a mental note to get the finely sliced meat next time she went to the store.

It was a surprise when he had no issue with it, small teeth obviously durable and able to tear apart meat.

Good to know thought Amanda.

The second half of the day involved Amanda giving the boy some cotton balls to toss around as well as watching him once again play daredevil and climb the new obstacle course Amanda had created out of pillows and blankets. His youth and size had nothing to do with how quick the little boy was as he darted around and climbed over the tall pillows.

The few times he took a tumble down the blankets, his body seemed to move on its own and instinct let him find the best way to slide down without getting hurt. It made Amanda more curious about what he could and could not do, but she would save those questions for another day.

She had something better in mind than pillows and blankets to test his abilities.

Amanda sent her final emails and messages to her co-workers before hoisting herself off of her bed. Dinner was going to be simple tonight and it was a good thing too. Tonight was going to be about play and fun.

Bringing him with her, Amanda set of into the living room and began laying out all of her boxes that needed unpacking in a kind of maze, creating passages and hallways while the boy took a nap in his much smaller box. She also included other elements like things for him to climb and jump off of.

It was having something occupy her mind that made her feel almost back to normal. She remembered fondly how her father would make elaborate constructions of cardboard and bedsheets just so she and her brother and sister could live in tents for months on end. They even made a joke that they wouldn’t need their rooms because they were going to live in tents for the rest of their lives.

Getting to make something like this now really and truly made Amanda feel like she was sharing part of her childhood with the boy. It made her heart ache slightly. She genuinely thought she would be doing this with her own children one of these days, but getting to do it now let her feel like she was glimpsing a reality that might have come to pass.

Perhaps one day, this dream could happen. Perhaps it wasn’t out of reach. Just the thought of it made her choke up, chest tightening uncomfortably as she stared longingly at the door, expecting the man she once loved to come through the door so they could begin again. Her mind raced and began filling in the blanks when she heard a soft coo from the box.

Amanda was brought back to the present as she glanced toward the sound, reminded of reality and saved from the life that could have been.

Clearing her throat and wiping her eyes with the back of her hand, she knelt and peered into the box where she spotted the child standing, hands pressed against the cardboard as he looked for a way out or up onto the ledge.

“Hey there, sweetheart,” smiled Amanda. He looked around and instantly smiled, holding her hands up and making a little grasping motion with his fingers to he could be held. “Good nap? I know. I know. Come on. Let’s get you out of there. I have a surprise for you.”

She rested her hand in the box and the little boy clambered up onto her curled fingers as though he had done it all of his life.

“We’re going to play maze, okay? Like you were playing earlier with the blankets and pillows,” said Amanda. He looked a bit confused at first, but the mention of the pillows and blankets earlier seemed to connect in his youthful mind. So, when Amanda sat on top of the nearest box and laid her hand down into the columns of boxes, it took a few moments for him to see the mounds of pillows for what they were – a playbox.

He carefully walked off of Amanda’s hand and approached the pillows before climbing on top of them. His fists snagged handfuls of fabric as he climbed to the top and, seeing the sheet slide, tumbled all the way down before looking back at Amanda and smiling.

It was like watching him take his first steps, a happiness sparking in Amanda like nothing she had experienced. The boy scuddled up to the edge of the next box and instinctually peered around it before running to the next bundle of blankets and climbing up them. This next one was taller, and his slide down actually made him laugh as he slid down the taut sheets.

It made Amanda’s face light up as she watched him go from activity to activity.

Another element that fascinated her was how the little boy approached the maze. Despite his age, he took the same left turn until he seemed to recognize an area. Only when he recognized where he was that he would add in a new left or right turn. It was almost like he was memorizing the paths Amanda had laid out for him.

The other activities were a little harder for the young child to get. Rolling the marbles and hitting the others made Amanda realize he was strong, but not quite that strong. Chasing him with her running fingers made him squeal in fear until he realized Amanda wasn’t actually chasing him, and soon it was his second favorite next to tumbling down the sheets.

The two of them played in the box maze for nearly an hour before the boy showed any indication of tiring, and even then he was reluctant to return to Amanda because he wanted to rest in the maze and keep playing once he had recovered.

Amanda’s compromise was to let him stay and play as long as he stayed close to the pillows she left him by while she got dinner started. She hurried over to the kitchen and quickly poured in noodles for macaroni and cheese and set the water to boil before hurrying back to the boxes to see the boy. Like she asked, he hadn’t moved from the stack of pillows and was waiting patiently for her to come back just as she said she would.

It wasn’t until the two of them made eye-contact, however, that made Amanda question her action. The boy looked worried, his little chest rising and falling quickly as he looked up at Amanda, before melting into relief. His hands immediately lifted, and he made the familiar grabbing motion for her to pick him up.

Amanda’s mouth slackened as a horrid thought occurred.

Was that what his parents told him? Did they ask him to stay… and he obeyed? Only to be abandoned and left alone?

“Come here, sweetie,” smiled Amanda. “See? I’m back, just like I said I would be.” After a minute, Amanda realized he didn’t want to be left alone, no matter how fun the boxes were, and elected to stay with her. It made her feel guilty and was something Amanda wanted to work on to give him a secure attachment, but it was alright for now.

The rest of the evening went smoothly as they fixed dinner together and ate in relative silence. Amanda decided she needed to wear something with a front pocket so she could place the little boy there while she worked on baking and cooking. The two of them cleaned up in the bathroom, Amanda needing to coax the boy into the water once again, before tucking him into bed all snuggly and clean.

She drifted to sleep with her hand in the box and the feeling of the boy pressed against her fingers. Today was the first of many steps for the two of them. Tomorrow, she would investigate the playground again and keep doing so until she was satisfied no one was truly coming for him.

The thought, however, made her heart hurt. He was growing on her so quickly, but it would be the right thing to do. Even if she, only after a couple of days, was already so attached to the little guy.

~~~~~^*^*^*^*^~~~~~

Continue

Previous

Beginning

[literaryvein-reblogs]

Writing Notes: Levels of Editing

The 5 Stages of Editing: Beta Reading, Developmental Editing, Line Editing, Copyediting, Proofreading

The Editorial Process

Writing

Drafting

Sourcing feedback from beta readers

Self-editing

Developmental editing or manuscript evaluation

Line editing

Copyediting

Proofreading

Publishing

2 Levels of the Process

MACRO / STORY LEVEL

This is where developmental editing (also sometimes called content editing, substantive editing or structural editing)

and manuscript evaluations (sometimes known as manuscript reviews or editorial critiques) are to be found.

It’s big-picture work that looks at the novel as a whole. Editors who specialize in this level of service focus on how your book works – stuff like structure, plot, flow, point of view, characterization and pace.

Story-level editing involves the following concepts:

Character arc: Goals, motivations and conflict

Effective dialogue

Genre: Impact on writing style and length

Narrative arc: Beginnings, middles and ends

Narrative style: Viewpoint, tense, voice and distance

Plot and subplot analysis

Problematic representation, stereotyping and othering

Story structure and pacing

Themes: the main ideas that connect the components of the story

World-building: creating engaging settings

MICRO / SENTENCE LEVEL

Includes line editing, copyediting and proofreading.

Sentence-level work that looks at the text on a line-by-line & word-by-word basis.

Sentence-level editing involves the following:

Chapter sequencing

Character-trait consistency

Cliché and awkward metaphor

Dialogue expression: style, tagging and punctuation

Effectiveness of sentence-level narration

Letter, word, line and paragraph spacing

Narrative style: Consistency of viewpoint, tense, voice

Effectiveness of narrative distance

Pace and flow: Special attention paid to repetition and overwriting

Problematic representation, stereotyping and othering

Spelling, grammar, syntax, punctuation, hyphenation and capitalization

Standard document formatting using Word’s styles palette: indentation, paragraph style, section breaks

Told versus shown prose

The Levels of Editing

STAGE 1: BETA READING

Authors send drafts of their novel to test-readers.

To receive feedback on structural issues such as plot, pacing, characterization, writing style and reader engagement.

Not the place for uncovering micro problems (spelling/grammar).

Beta reading may be free (via, say, a writing group or a critique partner) but some professional editors provide paid-for services (sometimes called early reviews) that provide guidance on the next-best editing steps.

It’s a good first step for those who want someone else to take their novel out for a test-drive before deeper levels of intensive editing begin.

STAGE 2: DEVELOPMENTAL EDITING

Also called structural or story editing - the shaping stage where decisions that affect how the novel works as a whole are made: Plot, story arc, structure, pacing, characterization, genre, narrative viewpoint and tense.

When the reader has finished the journey, they should feel satisfied by the experience of reading your work.

The journey might be bumpy. There are peaks and troughs – action, contemplation, and deduction, all of which are structured and paced so as to engage the reader as the story unfolds.

Developmental editing is where your story is tested and revised so that readers want to turn the page.

Alternative: Manuscript Evaluations/Critiques

Critiques can be thought of as mini developmental edits.

A professional editor provides a report that analyses the strengths and weaknesses of the writing, and what the author can do to improve their book.

Unlike full developmental edits, no changes are made to the book file. They’re an affordable first step for any author who wants to learn how to implement their own structural revisions.

Additional: Sensitivity/Diversity Reading

This is a niche form of evaluation in which a specialist reports on the potential misrepresentation and devaluation of marginalized others.

Readers are looking out for cliched, harmful, biased or false content and non-inclusive language.

Sensitivity readers focus on how others’ identities are represented in terms of race, sexuality, gender, physical ability, mental or emotional health, political beliefs, religion, age, culture and socioeconomic status.

Others identify potential problems with how those who’ve experienced abuse, trauma, violence, bigotry, illness, bereavement and poverty are portrayed.

They’re a valuable addition to the editorial process for authors who want to positively diversify the voices in their fiction but don’t have the lived experience of the individuals/groups they’re writing about.

Identifying goals and selecting a sensitivity reader with the appropriate experience is essential.

STAGE 3: LINE EDITING

The smoothing stage.

Sense is checked and flow is mastered so that the reader is driven to stay on the page and immerse themselves in the story’s world.

Good writing acknowledges that readers absorb words in a certain way – in the West we read from left to right and top to bottom, regardless of the device through which the book is delivered. Though our brains allow us to take in more than one letter and one word at a time, unless we’re scanning we move through sentences from start to finish. Those sentences should say what they need to say, and only that. Too many words, or repetition of what’s already known, can make the reading experience boring and frustrating.

Authors can play with sentence length and language style to reflect the historical period, genre, and the mood of a given scene. And punctuation is not about pedantry. It’s a powerful pacer that can evoke tension and impart clarity.

If a strong story compels readers to turn the page, line editing is what helps them want to stay on it.

Alternative: Mini Line-Level Critiques

No changes are made to the book file.

Instead, a professional editor provides a report that analyses the strengths and weaknesses of sentence-level craft.

The editor may suggest recasts to dialogue and narrative with a view to improving line-level flow, pace, drama and readability.

They’ll also offer advice on layout, spelling, punctuation & grammar conventions.

They’re an affordable first step for any author who wants to learn how to implement their own sentence-level revisions.

STAGE 4: COPYEDITING

The correcting stage

Inconsistent or incorrect spelling, grammar, and punctuation are attended to, and where logic is checked, such that the reader is allowed to follow the story without distraction.

Compelling writing makes readers forget that they’re reading.

Copyediting removes distractions.

Style sheets are the author’s and editor’s friend.

They record decisions on the language choice (e.g. American or British English), style (e.g. -is- or -iz- spellings, both of which are standard in British English), proper-noun spelling, character traits, location identifiers, the book’s timeline, use of idiom, dialogue treatment, how numbers are rendered, how capitalization and hyphenation are handled, and a hundred other decisions.

Many professional editors carry out line- and copyediting simultaneously because they’re complementary processes.

STAGE 5: PROOFREADING

The quality-control stage

Any final literal errors and layout problems are flagged up such that the book is fit for publication. Since human beings are doing the editing work, it’s rare for a book to get to the pre-publication stage without a few snafus remaining.

During the previous rounds of editing, new errors might have been introduced by accident. The design process can cause problems too:

Some elements of the book (a heading, a paragraph, a footnote) might be formatted inconsistently and incorrectly … think about indents, line spaces, end-of-line wordbreaks, page-number chronology, running heads and alignment just for starters.

Proofreading is the final line of defence.

The Order of Play

There’s a logical order of play when it comes to editing.

Think of it like building a house:

Developmental editing is like laying the foundations and building the structure

Line editing and copyediting are like plastering the brickwork, painting the walls, and sanding the floorboards

Proofreading is where you move in the furniture and fill in any tiny cracks that have appeared

Swap the order around and you’ll end up in a pickle.

At best you’ll waste time; at worst you’ll waste money.

Let’s imagine you invest in smoothing your prose and eradicating most of the spelling, grammar, punctuation, and consistency problems (line editing and copyediting). Then you discover a gaping plot hole that requires you to move two chapters, rewrite three, and make 75 sentence-level tweaks throughout the rest of the book (structural amendments).

Every move, every deletion, every rewrite, and every tweak brings with it the chance of damaging the line/copyediting work.

That’s time and money down the drain.

Source ⚜ More: Writing Notes & References

[lacunammmm]

Do you think AFO and/or OFA as quirks were too over powered for the story (not in a powerscaling way but in a narrative way)?

The story of MHA is about the AFO vs OFA war. It's a bait and switch. They get you by making you think it's about watching kids go to a hero school. What's it's actually about is: -Societal issues. Every important villain with the exception of a few is the result of societal apathy and systemic issues. Even AFO himself, being born to a homeless teenage girl who died giving birth alone by the river. Well all of them except Muscular, who the series wants us to believe is just a psychopath. In a series where every other villain is a tragedy case, he stands out. -The Todoroki soap opera. -All For One's obsession and Yoichi Shigaraki's death curse (OFA) to kill All For One. The reason it feels wrong to people is because the series' macro scale, in that Tomura decides to destroy the world and AFO is an immortal quirk devil, clashes with the micro scale of previous conflicts: society creates its own monsters, the impact of one abuser's actions on his family, if the hero kids can pass a test, etc. The threads aren't tied up neatly and the series tries to do both to its own detriment. A story entirely focused on wrapping up and addressing the issues of their society would be just fine without AFO involved. A story where we make AFO the great evil and the cause of all problems is objectively better when that's actually true. We don't have systemic issues that spawn villains, we just blame it all on AFO and we don't show hero society having cracks.

So we've got a series that ends with Deku punching AFO and Tomura into dust and in the process somehow his ultra violence resolves the societal issues that create villains like them and their comrades and 8 years later, society is heading to a utopia where heroes are becoming obsolete. If we take what Tokoyami said at face value, that heroes won't be needed eventually, then even natural disasters are calming down. I suspect the author forgot briefly that heroes handle disaster relief because of how little of a focus rescue heroes are in this story, but this interpretation is hilarious. AFO was so foul that he caused earthquakes, tsunamis and landslides just by existing. At its core, the plot of MHA is a coming of age story where two relics of the old era of heroics, the ultimate hero, and the ultimate villain, both groom a successor who has something they lack to carry on for them. In All Might's case, it's Deku's drive to save that defies all reason. For All For One, it's Tomura's hatred and vision. The story proceeded to derail itself with Tomura getting possessed and All For One deciding that he doesn't want a successor, but instead a meat puppet. Our final battles are poor in this case because Tomura barely gets time to interact with the main character meaningfully. The dude was MIA for many arcs where Izuku was present and then for everything important in the last stretch of the series, he's possessed. The idea the author was going for sorta still works though. Tomura and All For One died because All For One couldn't let go. Instead of building a successor to be better than him, he strangled this dude in the crib before he could ever get going. Left to his own devices, even if AFO forced Tomura to retreat at the first war arc for his own good... A universe where he and Tomura are genuine bros just leads to Tomura defeating Star And Stripe, then AFO and Tomura working together to double team hero society. They'd certainly have won.

Actually, given how Tomura mainly just wanted destruction, he might have killed Star outright and not tried to take her power. What does Tomura Shigaraki, a man who can create a cascade effect that could destroy the world if he wanted, care about some reality warping quirk? That was AFO's desires for more power that led to her trojan horsing them. Not that she actually accomplished anything nor destroyed any quirks that would impact the plot going forward. Tomura committed the incredible plot induced stupidity of trying to steal Deku's quirk in the final battle instead of just killing the guy, but I'd attribute him trying to take OFA down to AFO having infested him for so long.

With Tomura in charge, there's nothing stopping him from just killing everyone. Full stop. He'd unleash a decay wave and watch everyone turn to dust. The whole gambit to get the UA traitor to help them that saved the heroes asses in canon? Completely meaningless before the power of Decay just wiping UA and everything else off the map. AFO's problem is that he tries to get too cute and is always doing too much. Tomura's bullheaded blunt weapon approach can work, if used at the right time. AFO's wisdom would help to pinpoint the right times.

So while the sentiment that OFA and AFO took over the series is indeed valid, that's what the series is. Or rather, what the author decided to focus on. A universe where the other aspects of the series get room to breathe is the purview of fanfiction. The author was clearly NOT interested in the Academia, dealing with the fact that their government uses assassins and trains child soldiers, or the cast of characters who aren't his favorites and their development into heroes.

[dhruvkumaar]

How to read like a writer

If you’ve ever followed any Writergram accounts on Instagram or Twitter, I guess you’d have heard this advice—read like a writer.

People can’t stop glazing about how it’s one of the best pieces of advice any beginning writer could get, how it’s one of the most important skills to study prose and create your own, and all that. But, as you could’ve guessed, there’s a lot of unpacking to be done here.

What does it even mean to read like a writer? How’s it different from reading like a reader, or just for fun? And, how the frick do you even read like a writer?

I had to rant about something, and that’s the topic I’ve chosen today. So, here’s my two-cents on it.

***

#01 - The Basics

So, what does it mean to read like a writer?

I believe that reading like a writer is a form of reading prose where you’re conscious of the artistic decisions the author makes throughout the piece. For example, if there’s a high-stakes action scene, probably a fight scene or something, and you notice that the average length of sentences has suddenly become shorter and punchier.

Firstly, you need to understand that there’s a lot of such artistic decisions that writers take while writing a piece. And, every writer does that. These decisions are primarily related to writing-style, but are also focused on the story-structure, character-development, themes, and more.

For clarity, let’s divide them into two types of decisions—micro-level decisions and macro-level decisions. Micro-level decisions would include the writing-style, scene-descriptions, and all that stuff. Primarily, stuff that you can notice on the very page itself. It’d relate to the sentences instead of the plot. Refer to the example above again—that’s a form of micro-level decision.

Macro-level decision would be an artistic decision where you need to complete the whole, or a big chunk, of the piece to point them out. Such macro-level decisions would relate to the plot instead of individual sentences. For example, the decisions they’ve made regarding the plot, characters, and the underlying themes of the prose.

I tried my best to make the distinction as clear as possible. I hope you guys understand them clearly.

Anyway, each type of artistic decision would need to be checked in a different manner, y’know. To analyze macro-level artistic decisions, you’d need to probably finish the whole novel and do some research and brainstorming related to the themes of the story and the way the author discussed those said themes in their work.

It takes some time to get into the head-space to analyze the story and its themes. And, you might need to recap the story in some form or the other, y’know. At least, I need a little recap. Because generally, it takes me months to complete a novel or TV series. Or manga series. Or anime. Or anything else I need to analyze.

… And that’s because I start a lot of stuff before I finish the previous ones. Not gonna lie, I’m reading around four-five novels at the moment, a couple of which are web-novels on RR, along with three manga series. Please don't ask me why I do that, I hate it myself.

Anyway, now onto the second type: the micro-level artistic decisions. This is where you need to be really conscious while reading the work. In fact, I believe that these forms of decisions are what people generally mean when they talk about reading like a writer.

Micro-level artistic decisions, like I said earlier, include sentence-structures and writing-style of the author. And yeah, it’s really easy to slip out.

I’d like to refer to my favorite lit-fic The Road, by Cormac McCarthy, as an example. Reading the work, you’d see that the style feels… barren. The scene-descriptions are a pain to read; the vocabulary is just too hard. But, vocabulary becomes a lot easier during dialogues. That’s because the scenes are a pain to see, while the characters are losing their power to communicate effectively. I talk about it in detail in a previous blog:

But, man, maybe that’s how it’s supposed to be. Maybe that’s why McCarthy wrote the descriptions in this way—to symbolize the mental stress that the characters go through as they experience this world, this form of reality that they were not meant to be in.

And maybe the novel is so lacking in narrations because the characters’ minds have gone numb. They’re forgetting language. With almost zero human interaction most of the time, they are forgetting how to think and interact in words. You lose the skills you don’t really use anymore, y’know. And these guys are so obviously depressed, so they don’t think about the world. They are used to the sad reality they live in. No point in complaining how bad the food is if that’s all you’re gonna eat all your life.

So, a scarcity of narrations tell you a lot about the story and its characters. It reflects something, it symbolizes something.

Also, if you read about Kafka’s The Metamorphosis, you’d observe how the author’s writing-style is often bland and indifferent. That says something about the characters and the plot too—it keeps the readers detached from the story, forcing them to adopt a third-person POV where they can constantly judge the plot and the characters.

Understanding the micro-level artistic decisions also include understanding the different nuances in different authors’ style. For example, sometimes you’d see that authors write scene-transitions like this,

We talked it through, and decided that it’d be the best to continue the conversation once we’re in the safe vicinity of this house. School was dangerous for such serious conversations—what if somebody hears us out and report us to the police?

So, we shut up as we boarded the bus, and twenty minutes later, we were pulling through his house’s driveway. We both stepped outside and…

Personally, I’m not a big fan of such transitions. I’d rather use three asterisks instead, like I do with my blogs here.

***

When to read like a writer and when not?

Yeah, that can be a mess. You don't need to have the writer's eye open every single time you’re reading something.

Personally, I use a trick. I only read like a writer when I feel that the piece is really different from the type of prose I generally consume, y’know. For example, I’m reading Markus Zusak’s The Book Thief. The blurb says that the novel is narrated by Death, which is something quite interesting. Apparently, Death appears in the story as a character, acting as a third-person narrator.

However, the story is not third-person omniscient POV. Quite the opposite, actually, for we see the narration alternating between the thoughts of the protagonist and the all-knowing omniscient narrator Death, which makes the writing-style of the novel quite interesting.

So I read the book as a writer—all the way, I’m figuring out how the author masterfully blended both third-person limited and third-person omniscient narrative styles and used the best of both worlds to fully utilize both of them and paint such an amazing writing-style. I don't think I could ever pull that off, to be brutally honest. It’s just awesome what Zusak has pulled off in the prose.

Anyway, I derailed too much. The main point I was tryna make is that The Book Thief is different from what I usually consume—third-person limited POV web-novels. So, I do have to read like a writer. I probably won’t be reading like a writer if I was reading yet another RR web-novel or fantasy light-novel, y’know.

Another factor you might want to consider is if you like the prose or not. If you believe that you really love the novel and want to write something like it, you better study it a little. After all, you’d be writing what’s interesting to you.

A third factor: classics. If the prose is a classic, you might learn something from it. I mean, there must be some reason it’s stood the test of time, y’know, and people are still reading it. Yeah, sometimes, the style just seems outdated, and you likely won't be adapting it. But there are some gems in it too. The Great Gatsby is a really good novel to learn first-person POV.

… And that reminds me, I still haven’t finished The Great Gatsby either. Even though I’ve been reading it for more than a year.

***

#03 - Conclusion

All of this might feel a little overwhelming for you guys. I can understand that.

I mean, that’s just too much information to think about, y’know. And you might not be able to catch up on most of them. Heck, you might not be able to understand any nuances between different authors’ styles at all!

But, just don't give up, pal. It’s kinda tough out here, yeah, but that’s alright. Keep reading, keep practicing it out. You’d get there.

Keep reading and keep writing. That’s all it takes to become a great writer. But, doing both your reading and writing mindfully is what matters the most.

Subscribe to the FictionStudent newsletter to get latest blogs like this straight into your inbox. Also check out the website, as well as my Instagram and Twitter—where I might start posting soon. To be honest, I still don't know how to use social media as a writer, but I’d be trying.

Meet you in the next blog. Till then, bye-byeee!

[olderthannetfic]

My absolute pet-peeve in the moment: Those authors that just NEED to tell over and over again, in the tags, in the authors note and sometimes even in the title that THIS IS NOT A SHIP when they tag Character A & Character B.

My sweet summer child, I searched A&B because I wanted platonic stuff, you don't need to tell me what you already tagged. If I wanted the ship I would have looked at A/B. (Also I really roll my eyes at the judgemental tone some of them get.)

I usually don't confront them as long as they don't got the "IF YOU SHIP THEM I GONNA KILL YOU!" route in the fic/tags but... I just silently judge those insecure children that need to pray to their purity god first before posting anything so hard.

(Especially funny when the fic reads like baby's first kink fic just without the sex. You know the usual: feet, tickle fics, micro/macro, transformation into a furry, non-sexual-age-play stuff, inflation, stuffing, stuff like that. I mean come on. Who are they trying to fool there?)

--

Themselves. Always themselves.

[republicsecurity]

Instructor AV4I5 – Field Lecture Excerpt

“Eyes front, cadets. You’ve all felt the collar from the inside—now let’s talk about what it really does once it lands on a live civilian, whether you’re plucking a pick‑pocket off a back‑alley or sweeping the front rank of a riot line.”

“Key lesson: the MK‑IV doesn’t coerce with pain; it re‑prioritises commands. Your will is still there—just downgraded to background noise.”

He steps back, chin lifting toward UK90F and SX12B. “Remember: every pulse you send writes a signature to the audit log. Abuse it, and the log writes you.”

To punctuate the point, he double‑taps Release. The collar flowers open; LG44E’s limbs sag as autonomy rushes back in. Breath shaky, eyes wide, he blinks—again a private owner of his own flesh, albeit acutely aware how provisional that ownership is.

What the Civilian Feels

0‑2 s: Cool pressure, audible click, mild buzz at the jaw hinge.

3��10 s: Heavy‑limb sensation as dampening ramps; they’ll try to shout, volume throttles to conversational hush.

10 s +: Postural guidance kicks in—think puppet strings made of suggestion rather than pain. Most civilians comply long before electrical deterrence is necessary.

If Stun‑Hold fires: A flash‑bang in the spine—instant muscle tetany. They drop safe but stunned; no long‑term neuromuscular damage by spec.

“How the MK‑IV Steers Meat”

0. Autonomous Boot‑Up

The instant the silver clamp seats, the collar runs a 480‑millisecond POST:

Handshake with the nearest authorized Enforcer suit or console

Biometric sweep: skin‑temp, ECG, SpO₂, and EMG baseline

Default Mode → Blue‑Compliance Stand‑by

If the collar never hears from a console, it still enforces mute‑and‑immobilize on its own; sovereignty is local first, network second.

1. Sensor Capture (0 – 30 ms) “First tick, the collar drinks you,” Alvirez begins.

Micro‑lidar maps the trachea’s contour, seating error ≤ 2 mm.

Bio‑Vitals Array spikes a 200 Hz snapshot: ECG, SpO₂, EMG.

The IMU plots head angle and predicts momentum. “All that lands in the collar’s SRAM buffer before you finish blinking.”

2. Target Model (30 – 90 ms) “Telemetry pipes up‑link to your HUD or to Command. A control daemon—what the manuals call Shepherd—builds a live musculoskeletal model: bone lengths, joint slack, twitch latency. Every subject is a fresh CAD file.”

3. Write‑Back Loop (90 – 120 ms) “Now the collar edits,” he says, thumbing a red‑bordered icon.

Twin driver coils fire phase‑shifted currents through the pad grid.

Currents ride along brachial plexus pathways, hijacking alpha‑motor neurons. “It’s not pain; it’s precedence. Your own impulses queue behind ours.”

4. Motor Enactment (120 – 300 ms) “Command selects a macro: Step Forward, Hands Up, Kneel—each a bundle of timed pulses.”

Collar’s FPGA resolves the macro into 40 µs bursts.

Muscles contract in the ordained sequence; inertia does the rest. “If you’re wondering, yes, the override signal is encrypted. No, bare skin won’t trip it—needs the suit’s handshake.”

5. Homeostasis Layer (Continuous) “While the macro runs, a second thread tunes vitals. Watch.” Alvirez toggles Calm‑Subroutine. LG44E’s heart display glides from 112 bpm to 72. “Vagus mimicry. Drops catecholamines, cushions shock, keeps detainees upright instead of coding blue.”

[eatmangoesnekkid]

Be aware of the processes that you try to escape but need to go (grow) through in order to evolve. In other words, do not try to hide from your shadows. So few people in this world are willing to touch their darkest stories, to sit intimately with and feel deeply what is extremely uncomfortable to feel, the unwinding of tension, pain, and micro and macro traumas and the loneliness therein. Detoxification of the physical and energetic body is essential. And any stage of life you are in is your greatest opportunity to begin. -India Ame'ye, Author

[eyesofshan-if]

Kind of a long ramble spoiler for the last chapter but I have to talk about it to someone and give you your accolades

So when I start a new IF, I always make up OCs with different personalities because I don't like being personally involved in the IFs I read and also for more diverse choices but this one hits different.

First of all. The objectification of the clear eyes , the fact that an RO fucking ATE the gijeok, the micro (and macro) aggressions (especially the fucking guy at the pleasure house who made me paranoid during the whole chapter because I thought he was going to ambush us on the way back with Wooyoung being hurt if you see this you're on the list buddy)

You think it doesn't hit until The Empress asks the question and man.

The way I was lowkey ashamed of myself for saying I didn't know. And then I felt frustrated because how do you expect me to pick a side author ?? 😭😭😭

And when I tried to be The loyal commander as usual I had every little aggression, every little insult, every little objectification coming back like flashback especially the scene at the start with all the eyes and oathbounds gathered 💀💀

Now, don't get me wrong, I love The Empress, the Samjogo (Hansol my twin, my ride or die, my brother from another mother 🥹🥹), Wooyoung, Ahn, EVEN THAT BASTARD KWOK (raon you weird for that but you get a pass just this time 👁️👁️) but I just hate Hae because of what it represents, I just don't see how I can go to war for my oppressors against my people. It's kinda weird you know ??And I also don't want my people to die being gaslighted into war by some modern (not really) Jesus ykwim ???

Because war with Hae or not it won't bring back grandpa who was transformed into a gas station dick pill or little cousin who became a Vicks balm for some old lady with one foot who's already in the grave you see ????

And no matter how much I hate that shithead Jeong Taehoon (whatever his name is) HE WAS OCCASIONALLY COOKING SOMETHING 🗣️🗣️🗣️ 🔥🔥🔥

"Are you the commander because you're the strongest or are you the commander because it's convenient for the Empress' inner circle ?" type stuff (I will actually die if he turns out to be some kinda right and Hansol was in the know and didn't say anything 😭😭😭)

Having your strong ass (and easily disposable) slave that owes you life as your commander is a Battleship type move (and you realize that the RO presentation wasn't sugarcoating it💀 At this point I rather not entirely trust her to defend my interests 💀). I love the "no choice is right" stuff.

So yeah you cooked some major stuff author 🫵. Congratulations 👏👏👏. Impatient to see the next chapter 😚🫴❤️

TLDR : Good shit 🔥🔥🔥👌👌👌

reading this whole ask felt like a fever dream and an acid trip but thank you for taking the time out to just write so much LMAO

You think it doesn't hit until The Empress asks the question and man. The way I was lowkey ashamed of myself for saying I didn't know. And then I felt frustrated because how do you expect me to pick a side author ?? 😭😭😭

i'm glad that you felt that conflict!! this is only the beginning of a tumultous war and power struggle - and for the commander it'll be a matter of torn loyalties... you can't support either side without breaking some relationships, losing some people and hurting those you love!!

I just don't see how I can go to war for my oppressors against my people.

oh ho ho... are the shan really so innocent too? we'll find out more in the future :D

And I also don't want my people to die being gaslighted into war by some modern (not really) Jesus ykwim ???

is this referring to the high leader because i just died laughing

And no matter how much I hate that shithead Jeong Taehoon (whatever his name is) HE WAS OCCASIONALLY COOKING SOMETHING 🗣️🗣️🗣️ 🔥🔥🔥

jeong taewoo might be a little bitch but he is cooking a little... you'll find out more in the next chapter

"Are you the commander because you're the strongest or are you the commander because it's convenient for the Empress' inner circle ?" type stuff (I will actually die if he turns out to be some kinda right and Hansol was in the know and didn't say anything 😭😭😭)

oh... you'll have a lot to find out nonny!! both yongsun and hansol have their own agendas... and you'll either find out what these are or stay in blissful ignorance forever <3