#nah nah they'll be fine...probably

[zoe-oneesama]

You're all about to get your shit rocked, uh I mean, good luck!

Episode 53 Part 9 First < Previous > Next Season 1, Season 2, Season 3, Season 4, Season 5 Ep 41, Ep 42, Ep 43, Ep 44 Ep 45, Ep 46, Ep 47, Ep 48, Intermission, Ep 49, Ep 50, Ep 51, Ep 52

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[13leaguestories]

Sobbing why are Zillah and Nour so close to the bottom what did they ever do to you!!! The two sweetest cutest most gorgeous characters from your WIPs!!!! They're so hot what are you talking about /lh

I'm putting these two together simply cos they talk about the same thing.

It's not like they came last in a Beautiful to Ugly challenge. Just last in a really tough Most Gorgeous challenge. Like the fact that they're even in a competition with the likes of Sydero and Ozara says they should be grateful to just be here in the first place.

And no, Nour's personality does not make up for it. If you guys had me rank LI's on their personalities guess which two would be at the bottom again. Yep.

[vandme12]

ronin x reader who needs to go on long trips for work please thank you so much. Maybe one day mc just forgets to tell the server that they'll be going on a trip and just goes offline for 2 weeks or more lmao

Ronin was used to waiting.

He’d waited for the right moments to strike, for the perfect kills, for people to let their guard down. He was patient when he needed to be. And when it came to you, well—he’d always figured you were worth the wait.

But this?

This was different.

You had vanished.

Not literally—he checked. There were no mysterious disappearances in the news matching your description, no sudden reports of aspiring writer found dead in alleyway (not that he trusted the cops to find shit, anyway). You were just… gone.

Offline.

Two weeks.

And you hadn’t even told him.

The first few days had been easy to brush off. Maybe you were busy. Work trips weren’t uncommon for you, and while he never liked it when you left, at least you usually told him. He would get the typical, "Going to be off for a bit, don't get into too much trouble," and he’d make some snarky remark about how you’d miss him.

But this time? Nothing.

No messages. No warnings. Not a single fucking word.

And Ronin? Ronin did not handle silence well.

Day 3: Denial

"Maybe you got bored of me."

Ronin’s smirk was sharp as he typed into the server.

goreboy: wow yall are real fuckin dull without y/n here huh hitmeuppp: u miss ur little fav??? goreboy: pffft. nah. just sayin.

But he did. He did miss you.

The chat wasn’t the same without your sarcastic quips, your exasperated sighs whenever he pushed a joke too far.

He knew what normal absence felt like with you. This wasn’t that.

This was off.

Day 5: Irritation

Ronin didn't sleep much to begin with, but now? Now he found himself staring at his screen, scrolling through old conversations just to see your words again.

It pissed him off.

goreboy: angel tell me a bedtime story angelic: once upon a time, y/n abandoned us and we all got over it. goreboy: lmao. fuck u angelic: you're the one acting all weird.

Weird? He wasn’t acting weird. He was just annoyed.

Because what kind of idiot forgets to tell him that they’ll be gone?

Day 9: Concern

"This is fucking stupid."

Ronin sat in the dark, fingers tapping against his desk. He hadn’t realized how much he relied on your presence until you were no longer there.

It wasn’t just about the chat.

It was the absence of your late-night messages, the ones you’d send when insomnia hit, rambling about your novel, your characters, the murders you were writing about like they were real. It was the lack of your usual skepticism when he pushed a little too hard, danced a little too close to the truth of what he really was.

You always responded. Always had something to say.

And now? Silence.

Had something happened to you?

The thought was unwelcome. Uncomfortable.

And it wouldn’t leave him the fuck alone.

Day 12: Desperation (But Not Really, Shut Up)

Fine. Fine. He’d admit it. He was worried.

But only because if something had happened to you, he needed to know. He needed to see it, to feel it, to understand why the one person who could keep up with him had fucking disappeared.

goreboy: any of u fuckers heard from y/n? hitmeuppp: ohhh NOW ur admitting u care goreboy: i’ll skin u alive. answer the question. angelic: lol no. they probably just forgot about you. goreboy: impossible. i’m unforgettable. V: they could just be busy. goreboy: or dead. V: don’t be dramatic. goreboy: lmfao. dramatic? no. accurate? maybe.

He wasn’t dramatic.

If anyone else had gone silent for two weeks, he wouldn’t have batted an eye.

But this was you.

And you didn’t just disappear.

Day 15: You Come Back.

The server notification was almost insulting in how casual it was.

y/n is online.

Just like that. Like you hadn’t just fucking vanished off the face of the earth.

Ronin stared at it for a long moment.

Then—

goreboy: look who’s alive. y/n: oh shit. hey.

"Oh shit. Hey."

That was it?

Fifteen days and all you had to say was "oh shit. hey"?

Something sharp twisted in his chest, something unnamed and unwanted. He ignored it.

goreboy: u got a fucking death wish or what y/n: ??? y/n: oh wait. shit. yeah. forgot to mention i was going on a trip. my bad. goreboy: "my bad" goreboy: "MY BAD" y/n: lmao u good? goreboy: NO. BITCH.

The flood of messages from everyone else in the server came in fast—Misaki making fun of him, Angel laughing, V predictably saying "Told you"—but Ronin ignored them all.

Instead, he sent you a direct message.

goreboy: tell me where u are. y/n: i just got back home lol why goreboy: because i’m going to kill you.

A pause.

Then—

y/n: i’d like to see you try.

And just like that, the tension in his chest eased.

You were back. You were fine.

Annoying as ever. Infuriating as always.

And he—

He wasn’t waiting anymore.

Ronin exhaled, leaning back in his chair, his usual smirk settling back into place.

goreboy: next time u disappear, u better fucking tell me first y/n: oh? and what’ll you do if i don’t? goreboy: find u. y/n: is that a threat? goreboy: a promise.

Silence.

Then, finally—

y/n: …noted.

A couple of “where the hell were you?” messages, maybe a half-hearted joke about your sudden disappearance.

What you did not expect was for the entire server to absolutely dogpile you the second you sent your first message.

You stared at your screen. What the hell? You had only been gone for—okay, maybe a little longer than usual.

You started to type out a response, but Misaki beat you to it.

hitmeuppp: bro do u even KNOW how fucking annoying ronin has been.

hitmeuppp: LIKE. HOLY SHIT.

y/n: lmao what?

angelic: No, for real. It was unbearable.

V: He was insufferable.

You blinked. Ronin? Annoying? Well, okay, he was always annoying, but more than usual?

Before you could ask, Angel sent a screenshot.

It was of the server from a few days ago. Specifically, a string of messages from Ronin.

goreboy: this server is fucking boring.

goreboy: someone do something entertaining.

goreboy: misaki set something on fire.

hitmeuppp: wtf no

goreboy: angel make a video about me.

angelic: ew no.

goreboy: v do something self-righteous.

V: Shut up.

goreboy: y/n would have laughed at that.

goreboy: too bad they fucking DIED OR WHATEVER.

You snorted. Oh, this was gold.

y/n: lmfao. he was THIS bad??

hitmeuppp: WORSE.

angelic: At one point, he just sat in VC and sighed dramatically for five minutes straight.

V: And then claimed he wasn’t upset.

y/n: LMAOOOOOOO

hitmeuppp: mans was acting like a neglected housecat

angelic: no bc fr he was one more bad thought away from perching on a rooftop in the rain listening to lana del rey

goreboy: OKAY THAT’S ENOUGH.

Oh. Oh, this was fantastic.

You could practically see Ronin seething behind his screen. You had to push a little more.

y/n: awwww u missed meee <3

goreboy: fuck off.

hitmeuppp: bro do you understand how miserable he was

hitmeuppp: he was up at like 3AM sending angsty shit like

hitmeuppp: "maybe y/n got bored of me."

y/n: NO WAY

angelic: YES WAY.

V: He was doomscrolling your old messages.

y/n: STOPPPPP AHAHAAH

goreboy: Sure.

You were wheezing at this point. You hadn’t even been back five minutes and this was already the best possible outcome.

Ronin, of course, was still trying (and failing) to act unfazed.

goreboy: y/n u better fucking tell me next time u vanish.

y/n: or what?

goreboy: i’ll find you.

y/n: oh? you tracking me now?

goreboy: do u really wanna test that?

A shiver ran down your spine. Not out of fear.

You really shouldn’t have found that as hot as you did.

But, well. You were back.

And if Ronin had a problem with you leaving...

Well. That was his problem to solve, wasn’t it?

[l0relaii]

reader riding josh’s face while she’s standing up………josh’s big hands holding on to her ass to prevent her from falling down

omg. that. is. so. hot

but let me add something. josh doing that while you talk to someone over a counter or window. ok ok let me elaborate

let's say you were planning the winter getaway to the lodge and decided to come with josh one day earlier to make sure everything is prepared

but over night it got so cold the locks froze and you didn't realize you were stuck inside until sam called you to tell you she got to the cable car

so you've tried the door.

locked.

you tried the key.

still locked?

"fuck- josh??"

"hm? what's wrong?"

"i think this thing is frozen"

"jesus fucking christ, again?"

he comes up behind you and tries to open the door, but he can't

"dammit.."

"sam called, said she made it to the cable car"

"well, i guess we'll have to use the deodorant again"

"i swear you're gonna burn this place down one day"

"let's hope today is not that day babe"

"haha, very funny josh"

he gives you a little wink as he goes into one of the bathrooms in search of a deodorant

you see him coming back with it searching for a lighter in his pocket while crouching down in front of the door

you shift your gaze towards the window where you can see two silhouettes appearing

you squint your eyes trying to make out who they are through the foggy window listening to the diy flamethrower

"josh, be careful with that thing"

"oh don't worry baby"

while you try to make out who the two people are you don't even hear the noise of the deodorant stopped, not until you see him, or rather feel him crouched between your legs

his hands come up to your pants dragging them down along with your underwear. you hiss at the cold air hitting your bare pussy and look down at him

"what the fuck josh? what's gotten into you? stop- there's someone out there"

"probably sam"

"no- there are two people, fuck-"

"who cares? they'll have to wait either way"

you feel his hands coming up to your ass dragging you towards his head while he starts trailing kisses up your thighs

chris and ash. fuck, they probably forgot to call. and sam is on her way too, great

"josh stop they're literally at the door-"

"the lock's frozen"

"no it's not, you literally just-"

oh. OH-

yeah the lock is frozen. they can wait outside until you're done, right?

his mouth is suddenly on your clit sucking and licking and kissing while you let out a breathy moan

you hear ashley calling out your name when she sees you looking at them through the window and you wave awkwardly

"open it"

"what-?"

"you heard me, open the window and talk to her, come on, tell her what happened"

fuck.

you reluctantly open the window and lean out towards them so they couldn't peek inside and see josh on his knees between your legs

"oh hey ash, chris, i'm so happy to see you made it"

"oh my god please let us in i thought we were gonna freeze out here"

"where's josh?"

"yeah, where is he? and why aren't you opening the damn door?"

"josh? ugh-"

you feel him digging his fingers into your ass cheeks while sucking harder on your clit. he really wants to get caught, huh?

"josh is, uh, looking for uh- deodorant"

"and he can't open the door without smelling like fresh flowers?"

"no, no- fuck.."

"is something wrong? are you okay?"

"oh yeah i'm fine just.. a little cold, i'm frozen -the door, shit- the lock is frozen, yeah that's right, and josh wants to use the lighter with the deodorant"

"ohh yeah, just like we did with the little army dudes"

the little fucker. he snuck a finger up your cunt while you were trying to explain to your dear friends that the lock is frozen

"oh hiii sam"

amazing

could this situation get any more worse?

"why are you out here? did josh lose the key again?"

oh. that would have been a better lie

"nah, the damn lock is frozen"

you feel it in your lower belly, your orgasm building up. josh feels it too, he can tell from the way your thighs are trembling and the way you're squeezing around his fingers

"hey.. are you.. okay?"

"me? yeah, yes why wouldn't i be?"

"you seem a bit.. shaken up"

you see chris trying to lean forward and look through the window but you put your hand on his shoulder and push him away a bit

"mmfuck.. i think i am a bit- nauseous, you might want to look away"

"do you want some water? ash get the water from my backpack-"

"no, jeez no, chris turn the fuck around or i swear to god i'm gonna- i'm gonna puke on you"

well that worked at least, they all turned around

exactly when your orgasm hits you and your hand shoots down to josh's head pushing him away

you see him wiping away at his mouth with a smirk and disheveled hair. he pulls up your panties and pants before walking to the door and opening it

"i thought the lock was frozen?"

"oh no bro, i guess i just got the wrong key in"

[fearfulfertility]

CONFIDENTIAL TRANSCRIPT

To: Senator [REDACTED], Congressional Committee on Population Sustainability

From: Director [REDACTED], Department of Reproductive Compliance

Date: [REDACTED]

Subject: Operational Justification of Surrogate Conscription

EXECUTIVE SUMMARY

Recent census data indicate reproduction rates have risen to [REDACTED]%, a significant improvement in national fertility rates and surpassing the [REDACTED]% emergency threshold used initially to justify surrogate conscription. While positive, abandoning our highly effective operational framework at this stage would pose political risks and threaten the stability we’ve carefully built. This transcript outlines the necessity and strategic value of continuing the surrogate conscription program, emphasizing its critical role in political control, administrative stability, and public perception.

MEETING TRANSCRIPT

Participants:

Director [REDACTED] – Department of Reproductive Compliance

Senator [REDACTED] – Congressional Committee on Population Sustainability

Location: Executive Lounge, DRC Headquarters

Date & Time:  [REDACTED], 17:30 hours

[BEGIN TRANSCRIPT]

Director [REDACTED]

Well, Senator, I suppose you’ve seen the latest census numbers—fertility's up across the board. Technically speaking, our crisis justification is fading quicker than expected. Some eager folks up on Capitol Hill might think this means we need to roll back the conscription program.

Senator [REDACTED]

Aw, c'mon now, Director. Ya ain’t thinkin’ about pullin’ the plug just ’cause a few extra babies got born, are ya? Shoot, son, half the fun of bein' up here is keepin' folks convinced there's a crisis. Gives us room to maneuver, ya see.

Director [REDACTED]

Exactly my thought, Senator. We've created something far too useful to just hand it back. The department’s grown into a real political powerhouse. Thousands of jobs depend on it—not to mention a few bits of fun here and there. Honestly, why would we want to walk away from all that?

Senator [REDACTED]

Couldn't agree more, friend. Hell, between you an' me, the DRC's become as American as apple pie—folks’d probably be suspicious if we didn’t keep this thing runnin’. Besides, plenty of my colleagues have gotten mighty comfortable with the perks, if ya catch my drift. Be a shame to disrupt their fun... uh… good fortune.

Director [REDACTED]

Oh, I absolutely catch your drift, Senator. The truth is, this program provides more than just babies. It provides stability, consistency—and the boys certainly are beautiful once their nice and plump? Plus, ending it now would open up a whole can of ethical worms. People might start asking awkward questions. I'd prefer we not give them that opportunity.

Senator [REDACTED]

Ha! Ethical worms, that's rich. The day we start worryin' ’bout ethics in this building is the day we both retire early, am I right? Nah, the public's happier thinkin' we're savin' civilization, one preggo whore at a time. Makes a mighty fine talkin' point at the barbecue, too. Folks eat it right up.

Director [REDACTED]

Couldn’t have said it better myself. Politically, this whole operation has been gold. We’ve built something that keeps the administration looking heroic and decisive—people trust us to handle things, no questions asked. Why let reality spoil a good time?

Senator [REDACTED]

Amen, brother. Look, just write up somethin' fancy ’bout demographic stabilization or some such thing. Keep the tone cautious, say we’re monitorin’ the situation, buy us another [REDACTED], maybe a solid [REDACTED] years easy. You know how the game goes—nobody reads the fine print anyway.

Director [REDACTED]

Perfect. We'll frame it as necessary caution—no rush to celebrate just yet. As long as the public believes there's still work to do, they'll never question our operations. That gives us political cover indefinitely.

Senator [REDACTED]

Exactly! And let’s be honest, the jobs, the contracts—hell, the whole kit and caboodle—it’s got a momentum of its own. It’d be downright unpatriotic to turn that gravy train around now. My friends up in Congress would tar and feather anyone who tried to put a stop to it.

Director [REDACTED]

Then we’re agreed. We stay the course. Keep everyone employed, comfortable, and blissfully unaware. I'll draft the usual vague assurances of ongoing evaluation—make it sound reassuringly scientific and absolutely necessary.

Senator [REDACTED]

Sounds mighty fine. Ya know, Director, it’s always good catchin’ up. Folks out there think we're all business, but they don’t know how much fun we have keepin’ this circus runnin’.

Director [REDACTED]

Couldn’t agree more, Senator. I’ll send you the draft memo tomorrow morning. Let’s keep the good times running.

Senator [REDACTED]

Speakin' of good times, I gotta hand it to ya, Director. That little visit you arranged for me at Site [REDACTED]—that was somethin' else. Beautiful beach, sunshine, nothin' but relaxation. And them two boys you sent to keep me company? Well, son, let’s just say you sure know how to show an old senator a mighty fine time.

Director [REDACTED]

Glad you enjoyed yourself, Senator. I made sure those two were hand-picked… and heavily dosed with the [REDACTED] serum to make them… very compliant. Consider it my personal thanks for all the unwavering support you've thrown our way.

Senator [REDACTED] 

Ha! Well, I appreciate it. Tell ya what, seein' ’em relax and enjoyin' themselves out there on the beach was a real treat. Could hardly believe how big they were gettin', though. Good lord, Director, you're certainly keepin' those boys productive.

Director [REDACTED] (laughs):

You know my motto—maximum output, maximum efficiency. Those two were some of our top performers, too. Healthy, fit, very full. Figured you'd appreciate the quality assurance firsthand.

Senator [REDACTED]

Quality assurance indeed! Now, I've seen my fair share of your compounds and your boys in various stages—but relaxin' with 'em out there on that beach? That was a whole new level. Ya know, it was almost surreal, watchin' those young fellas soak up the sun with bellies so big they couldn’t even stand without help. Lord Almighty, Director, ya sure keep ’em productive, don't ya?

Director [REDACTED]

Hope they met expectations?

Senator [REDACTED]

Exceeded ’em, Director! You know, though, watchin' them big boys struggle to move even a few inches—felt like watchin' turtles flipped on their backs. Cute turtles, mind ya, but stuck all the same. But heck, your boys were always eager to climb into my lap for some attention. Pure entertainment and a little bit o' acrobatics, all rolled into one.

Director [REDACTED]

Well, Senator, we like to think of it as motivational entertainment. Besides, there are worse ways to spend the weekend. And, of course, we didn't want them too active. Can't risk early deliveries outside compound oversight.

Senator [REDACTED] 

Truth be told, I almost felt bad knowin' what awaited ’em afterward. But, hey, least they got one last vacation outta the deal, right? You spoil 'em, Director.

Director [REDACTED]

Only the best, Senator. Besides, these little "field trips" help boost morale among the handlers, too. A few perks here and there go a long way in keeping the whole operation running smooth.

Senator [REDACTED]

Exactly. Keepin’ spirits high, and bellies round, eh? That’s the ticket. You keep arrangin' trips like that one, and you'll never hear me complain, I guarantee it.

Director [REDACTED]

Duly noted, Senator. Consider it standard operational procedure going forward. Anything else I can arrange for you?

Senator [REDACTED]

 I'll let ya know, son. I'll let ya know.

[END TRANSCRIPT]

CONCLUSION

Given its strategic and political value, the recent positive fertility indicators do not justify dismantling the surrogate conscription program. Sustaining current operations provides employment stability, preserves political advantage, and ensures ongoing public confidence. The continuation of the surrogate conscription initiative remains both pragmatically and politically indispensable.

Respectfully submitted,

Director [REDACTED], DRC

----------------

ADDENDUM

RE: Follow-Up on Surrogates from Senator [REDACTED]’s Recent Visit to Site [REDACTED]

This addendum documents the current status of Surrogates S-142-244-M and S-129-129-O, who accompanied Senator [REDACTED] during his recent recreational visit to Site [REDACTED].

Surrogate S-142-244-M (Tridecuplets) entered labor [REDACTED] days following the Senator’s departure. After successful delivery of all 13 offspring, surrogate health rapidly deteriorated, resulting in expiration approximately [REDACTED] minutes post-delivery. Cause of expiration confirmed as [REDACTED] due to extreme [REDACTED].

Surrogate S-129-129-O (Quindecuplets) commenced active labor approximately [REDACTED] hours following the Senator's departure, successfully delivering 15 offspring. Post-delivery vitals indicated severe [REDACTED] rupture and systemic exhaustion, resulting in expiration [REDACTED] minutes after delivering the final fetus.

All offspring from both surrogates survived birth and have been transferred to standard neonatal processing. No further action is required.

----------------

Click Here to return to DRC Report Archives

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA if I said I have OCD when I don't?

I (20X) don't have OCD. I do, however, have some of the symptoms, which is probably a comorbidity thing (ADHD diagnosis). The symptoms that are relevant here line up with contamination OCD.

I can be particular about "clean" things and "safe" spaces. I still live with my parents, and they're used to my habits. They know not to sit in my specific "clean" chair, to let me disinfect things with alcohol wipes before they get brought into the home, et cetera.

Right now my symptoms are relatively under control. There was a time when a brush against something I consider "contaminated" would result in me chucking any clothes that made contact in the laundry and washing any skin that it touched. I'm trying to avoid doing this when I feel like I can, to try and condition myself into being, for lack of a better word, normal. However, it still bothers me, especially when I'm feeling particularly anxious. And it really bothers me when we have guests over who don't know about my preferences and get their outside "contaminants" everywhere, which is where the problem arises.

We're going to have family over. They're flying in from a different country and will be staying in an Airbnb, but the main purpose of their trip is to visit us, so they'll be at our house frequently. This is mostly fine. My main "safe" space is my bedroom, and I would keep that door closed the whole time, and I think they would respect me enough to not enter. But I also have two "safe" furniture items in shared space -- a dining room chair and a couch (we have two in the living room).

Basically, I want to ask my family members to not sit on those two furniture items and say that I have OCD as a shorthand for "if you do this I will become genuinely distressed". I just feel like it's the only way for them to take me seriously and actually remember not to do it without me having to go into a whole explanation about my neuroses.

But at the same time, it feels shitty to lie about a having a disorder. And I'd also be doing this partially out of laziness, which I feel almost definitely makes me an asshole -- because in theory I could just keep disinfecting the chair and the couch between each visit for the couple weeks that they're going to come over for, but both of them are fabric, and it would be so much work to wash and dry them every single day. To be frank, I can't be bothered doing all that, and would rather they just didn't sit there at all. But it might also be an asshole move to tell them not to sit on one of our couches -- I mean, Christ, it's a fucking couch. It's meant to be sat on. (Even if I'd rather they didn't -- not because of them specifically, but because they'd be visiting in "outside clothes", which aren't clean. I also don't sit there if I'm not in clean clothes.)

So -- WIBTA? And if I am voted TA, any advice for how to proceed that doesn't involve having to steam-clean a couch every day would be appreciated.

[steddieas-shegoes]

"so you're telling me that you helped them find all the eggs on the bus?" steve asked, arms folded across his chest.

"yes! they couldn't even reach a few of them. you hid them too high," eddie unwrapped another chocolate egg and shoved it in his mouth.

"yeah, the goal was to keep some hidden so we wouldn't have them bouncing off the walls while we're stuck on here for another six hours."

eddie stopped chewing his candy, looking over at their two daughters who were currently arguing over who got to keep the $1 bill and who got to keep the four quarters from one of the eggs.

"i thought the goal was to find them all?"

"yeah, eventually. all the obvious ones were for today and then tomorrow one of us would 'find' the last handful of them and give out the candy over the course of the day." steve snapped his fingers at the girls and gave them his 'you better chill out' look. "now they're all in a mood and probably want to run around, but can't."

"oh."

"yeah, oh." steve sighed. he gestured to their son, who was too young to care about money, but definitely not too young to care about candy, shoving a handful of jelly beans in his mouth. "how do you plan on entertaining him?"

"he can play my guitar or something."

"and what do you suggest we do with the girls?"

"pawn them off on jeff and his wife on the next stop? they need practice anyways."

steve snorted. it wasn't a bad idea necessarily. but there was no way they'd be on their best behavior and steve wouldn't put anyone else through that.

"how about we stop for some food to help soak up some of that sugar?" steve suggested, knowing they still had about two hours before they were scheduled for a stop. bribing the driver would be pretty easy, especially if they let him pick where they went. "one of us can hide the rest of the candy while they're off the bus."

"fine, but they'll be mad when they get back."

"and they can stay mad," steve laughed. "but they can stay mad at you for it. i was the bad guy yesterday when i said no to ice cream. it's your turn."

eddie's jaw dropped. "but i'm never the bad guy!"

"yes, my point exactly." steve turned to grab bottles of water for the kids. maybe flushing it all out of their system would help. "i'm taking the title of cool dad for the day."

"robin would be so disappointed in you," eddie grumbled.

"robin's been trying to get me to loosen up for years. she'll be proud of me."

eddie wrapped his arms around steve, ignoring the sudden screech from their oldest daughter for another moment.

"i'm proud of you too. i can be the bad guy more often if you want."

"nah. i kinda like what we have." steve leaned in to kiss him quickly. "but i'm gonna soak it in today. might get a little worked up seeing you be the guy doling out discipline today, though."

"you're ridiculous. i discipline you plenty."

"dad! she took both of the dollars!"

"i found both of them!"

"actually, i found both of them," eddie said as he turned to the girls. "and if there's arguing, i get to keep them both."

the girls looked back at him with wide eyes, chocolate around their mouths, and sticky fingers from whatever taffy they'd gotten into first.

"but you already have all the money! you're an adult!"

steve covered his mouth to hide his laughter, turning to their son, who was a little too quiet for the amount of peeps he'd eaten an hour ago.

he wasn't at the table anymore.

"alright, maybe we'll both have to be the bad guys today," steve sighed. "luke! where'd you go?"

"how does he disappear on a moving bus?" eddie asked as he made his way to the couch to figure out the money situation with the girls.

it was their first, and probably last, easter on the tour bus. they normally spent all holidays at home.

but as steve tugged luke's legs from under steve and eddie's bed, giggling along with his three year old son, he couldn't help smiling at the chaos.

[heartfullofleeches]

can we get more Fratbro!Darling interaction with creep!yan? it was amazing

They don't belong here.

Why did they even come.

The ice in their cup has melted from the heat of their skin, but the punch's still too strong to drink. With how shakey their hands are, they'd likely spill it if they tried. People are watching them now - probably wondering who let the freak in. They've been in this situation before. Invited to places because it'd be too awkward to invite everyone in the group but them while most of them pray they'll just stay home. Maybe they should have. The whispers are starting again and they're getting closer. Here it comes-

"Oh, hey! There you are! I've been looking for you since I heard you were here. You got a minute?"

Someone pulls them from the obscurity of the crowd - dragging them into the spotlight on wobbly legs. A strong arm holds them steady as the uncomfortable gaze of their peers swallows them, a gentle squeeze to their bicep negating their rising fears.

"This is the person I was telling you guys about - the one that drew that picture you saw on my lockscreen. I'm telling you, Mickey has crazy talent. I'm glad so we met at that gas station a few weeks back... Would you believe they live right across the street?"

It's pretty obvious that nobody really cares, but enthusiasm is an infectious disease. They do their best to answer half-hearted questions and try even harder to smile. It's hard to fake emotions when your attention is elsewhere. Mickey stares at you, arm still locked around their shoulder, like the beacon of light you are. How did you manage to be so different? When you first met they thought you were just another fake. Someone who pretended to be their friend for whatever benefit it gave. You cared. You tried to get them to be more social and showed up at their apartment when they'd be absent for days. You showed genuine interest in their quirky little hobbies and always laughed with them instead of at them. You even wore the crow skull necklace they made for you. It's like you were already dating.

Your grin falters as you look over at your friend, the clacking of their teeth and goosebumps on their skin catching your attention. "Hey, Mick... Everything okay? You're shaking."

Mickey hides their face in the collar of their jacket. "Yeah.... fine. Don't worry about me."

They jump as your palm touches their forehead.

"Nah, dude - you're like really sweaty. I'll walk you home in the morning, but you should lie down for now."

Mickey starts to protest, but as you weave through the crowd, heading for the stairs - their lips are sealed. They always forget you live with this meatheads despite standing beneath your bedroom window every night. Where you taking then to your room? They can feel stares on them even now, but they feel almost... jealous. Mickey likes that feeling. They squeeze your hand tighter - heart stopping as you approach the door with your name taped to it.

Opening the door just a crack, you make sure no one is inside before leading Mickey in. You take their cup as you guide them to the bed. Your bed. They giggle to themselves as you walk away with their cup, pouring its contents down the sink in the bathroom and filling it with fresh water from the tap. You really were the kindest person they've ever met on campus - like any good spouse would be.

"How much did they give you to drink?.... Just drink this water and relax. Remote's in the bottom drawer if you get bored. I'll be back to check on you in a bit. Don't worry about falling asleep I'll just sleep on the floor or the couch."

Mickey blushes as your fingers graze theirs as you past them the cup, and the image of the two of you cuddled up in your bed. They take a few tiny sips before setting the cup on the table.

"T... thank you... I wouldn't mind if you slept with me. It's your bed afterall."

"True, but I wouldn't want you to be comfortable. Relax, we'll talk about it more when I come check on you. Be back in a few!"

Mickey watches as the door closes behind you. They wait for your steps to fade down the stairs, finger on their zipper as they disappear. Mickey unzips and throws off their jacket like it was restricting their air flow. They drop it to the floor along with their shoes as they crawl beneath your blankets - planting their head face deep in your pillows and sheets. They smell just like the conditioner you use. Mickey makes a mental note to raid your bathroom, but there's so much they want to do in such little time.

Your dirty clothes. Your closest. Your dressers. So many places - so little time. What should they do? What should they do- Steal the fragrances you wear so their room always smells like you? Take your toothbrush or a water bottle you've drank from for their first indirect kiss? Steal a shirt or maybe even your underwear to.... now's not the time for that, Mickey - your window of opportunity is getting shorted with every breath.

Mind racing, Mickey decides the best thing to do now is to claim their new territory. Mark your room as theirs just as their entire apartment has been overtaken by pictures of you and the things you've thrown out. They fish through their jeans for their keys - picking the hidden knife discreetly disguised as a key. Having overprotective parents had its perks - such as items of self defense they'd otherwise be put on a list for buying themselves.

They climb out of bed, crouching to the floor. The gap beneath your bed has just enough room for them to wiggle into. Compared to lockers they'd been shoved into it was like a luxury apartment. They lay flat on their back, dragging themselves below the bedframe - knife in hand. Eyes adjusting to the darkness, their hands search for the boards supporting your mattress and drives their knife into the first place plank their nails catch on - drawing the curve of a heart into the wood. Light bleeds into the room as they complete the second arch and angle their blades for the first letter of their initials, followed by startled gasps and halted flirts at the odd sight of feet beneath your bed.

"Is this room already occupied?"

Mickey clutches their key ring tighter.

"This is our room...... IF YOU'RE NOT GONE IN THE NEXT FIVE SECONDS I WILL GOUGE YOUR FUCKING EYES OUT AND FEED THEM TO YOU!"

Mickey shrieks in laughter at the sound of slamming doors and footsteps racing down the hall. They've never raised their voice at anyone like that before. Love is a crazy drug. They carve their initials and yours beneath your bed, slithering from the opening and up onto your bed between the sheets for the best night of sleep they've had since they were young.

[jayswritings13]

Multi: This is Halloween

Summary: Spending Halloween with them

Includes: DJ (Total Drama), Demetri (Cobra Kai), Raph (2012 TMNT), Eddy (Ed, Edd, n Eddy), Daphne, Fred, Velma, & Shaggy (Scooby Doo) & Sir Pentious (Hazbin Hotel)

Note: HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

💗Masterlist | AO3

DJ (Total Drama) - Watching Scary movies

"Okay, tonight is your pick." You said, settling in next to DJ on the couch, wrapping the blanket around you, setting your head on DJ's shoulder. Friday night movies have been a long standing tradition, along with switching who picks the movies. It's a good system. Well, mostly.

"I choose this one." DJ said, pointing to your beloved copy of The Shining.

"Are you sure that you can handle it, DJ? I can still switch the movie to something else."

"Na-nah, I can han-handle this."

"DJ...." You eyed DJ, shifting your head off of his shoulder. "I mean it. We do not have to watch this. I know that you hate this shit."

"But you love it." DJ said, "And I want to make you happy."

"DJ......" You paused, "That's so sweet, but you hate scary movies. And I know that you love me, but I also love you. So, please don't put that movie on, hun. I know that you really don't want to."

"Oh, thank you!" DJ said, smiling brightly, as you switched the tv from The Shining to Hocus Pocus. "Thank you. I wasn't sure how I was going to follow through on that honestly."

"I know." You laughed, "But I appreciate the effort, DJ." You went back to originally spot, snuggled up against DJ. "I do, but I think this is better."

"You do..? Are you sure..?"

"Mmhhh." You nodded. "I'm sure. Now you better keep it quiet during the 'I put a Spell on you' scene." You glance his way, "Or, this is the last movie night we do." You added, causing DJ to chuckle a bit.

Demetri (Cobra Kai) - Decorating

"Up a little higher, to the left."

"Like this..?"

"Lower, lower, lower ...... Stop, that's it. Right there." Demetri said, as you pinned the sign to the wall.

"Next time, you're going up. You're taller." You huffed, standing next to him.

"This was your idea."

"Oh please, like you're not having a good time staring at my ass while I was up there." You added, cutting off any protest or excuse he could have had, "Now help me with these ghost outside."

"How much more is there left....?"

"Another box and a half, D." You said, handing him a plastic ghost.

"What's so special about Halloween, anyway?" Demetri huffed, following you outside, plastic ghost in hand.

"Don't you dare say that in front of me Demetri." You warned, pushing the plastic ghost into the ground. "Halloween is the best time of year. So, I can't help it if I go all out."

"All out?! You have more Halloween decorations than Spirit Halloween."

"Now, I know that you're just being mean. I don't have that much." You said, "But, I do appreciate the help. It takes me forever to put this stuff up every year. So, thank you for that D."

"With the amount the stuff, you owe me." Demetri huffed, sticking the second ghost alongside yours.

"I think that we can work something out." You grinned, "Who knows? Maybe I'll change your mind on Halloween...?"

"I'd like to see you try."

Daphne, Fred, Velma, & Shaggy (Scooby Doo) - Haunted House

"I thought that today was our day off."

"I don't think that we really ever get a day off, Shaggy." Fred said, following you closer towards the looming haunted house.

"Besides, this will be different." You said. "I just know it."

"Yeah, we're paying to go in!"

"Shaggy, we'll be fine." Velma said, "These people are paid minimum wage, so they'll probably put in minimum effort."

"I don't know about that...." Fred grumbled, watching two people run out screaming.

"C'mon guys, it'll be fun!" You said, "I never tag along on your adventures, so this is the one time that I can join."

"Of course this will be great. Right guys?" Daphne said, staring between the other three: Fred, Velma, and Shaggy. "Right guys?" She emphasized, wrapping an arm around your shoulders.

"Right." They said in unison, as you grinned brightly.

"Oh! Thank you! I promise that you won't regret it." You said, pulling the others into a hug. "I heard that this is the best of the best in town."

"Which mean it'll be third best from what we've seen," Velma snickered to Fred, causing Daphne to elbow her. "Ow, hey!"

"What Velma means is...." Daphne said, "I'm sure that it's great."

"Yeah! Lead the way!" Fred boasted.

"You won't be the only one scared, Shag." You said, "I'll be too. Stick you me." You grabbed his hand, giving him a smile, as you all entered closer and closer to the entrance of the Haunted House.

"You don't have to tell me twice."

Eddy (Ed, Edd, 'n Eddy) - Costume Contest

"What are you supposed to be?"

"I'm a mobster, duh."

"Huh, that would not have been my first guess." You said, causing the shortest Ed to groan.

"Then you have no taste," He paused, taking in your costume, "Clearly...."

"Ok, Clyde, take one guess at my costume, then." You challenge. "If dislike it so much, you must know what it is."

"Of course I know what it is! Give a guy a second, jeez!" Eddy rolled his eyes, taking a minute to look over your costume. "Uh.... a witch....?"

"Wow... you're bad at this." You snorted, "Guess I can consider the prize all mine, then."

"Please.... If I can't tell what you are, how are you gonna win!? It's gonna be me who takes home that prize money, sweetheart."

"Sure, Why don't you take that smug attitude and sh-Double D, wait!" You said, reaching out and grabbing his arm. "Just the person I wanted to see."

"Greetings (Y/N). Fantastic and accurate Aphrodite costume."

"Aw, well thank you Double D." You said, keeping your eyes on Eddy's fuming form.

"What?! Who is Aphro-Abhro whatever!?"

"Aphrodite, Eddy. Aphrodite is the greek goddess of love, beauty, and pleasure. We learned about her in History class."

"Thank you Double D." You said, letting your grip go on him, watching as he slinked forward into the crowd of other party goers in costumes.

"So, brainiac knows who you are? Big deal!" Eddy said, "There ain't no way that you're gonna beat me in this contest."

"Wanna bet?" You said, "Winner gets the Loser's Halloween Candy, the prize money, and gets to pick the loser's costume next year."

"Oh, you got a deal."

Beetlejuice (Beetlejuice) - Handing out Candy

"Remember the order, Beej. It's important."

"Of course, of course." Beetlejuice waved you off, grinning. "It's not my first Halloween, babes." He grabbed the candy bowl off the table. "Now, I got some suckers to see."

"Beej...."

"I said, to give suckers too! Calm down!" Beetlejuice yelled, quickly opening the door before you had time to respond. "Trick or treat?"

"Um..... don't we say that." You peaked over Beej's shoulder, finding a group of small children. A little girl in a fairy princess costume stepped up.

"Okay!" You said, stepping forward, grabbing some candy out of the bowl that Beetlejuice was holding, and dropping it in the little girl's bag. "Here you go. Happy Halloween!" You said, watching the little girl run down towards her mom on the street.

"What gives, babes? Don't trust me....?" He pleaded, big ol' dark eyes staring up at you.

"Beej... I think that we should play to your strengths.... Maybe I take all the kids under 12 and you handle the older kids with tame scares."

"Tame....? Ah, babes, there's nothing tame 'bout me."

"Beetlej-"

"Ah, not the B word, babes. Can't end the party before it started." Beetlejuice said, "I'll play by your dumb rules. But, if a 16 year comes up here, I will not be held back on my scares."

"Fine. You have a deal."

"You will not regret this babes."

"I hope not," You said, "But for now, stop eating the candy, B. That's for the trick or treaters!" You snatched a mini Twix out of his hand.

Raph (TMNT 2012) - Pumpkin Carving

"What is that supposed to be?"

"A face!" You grinned, turning your pumpkin so Raph could see. "Or well, it was supposed to be a face."

"Why are we doing this again?" Raph asked, "Because it seems like a waste of pumpkins."

"It's fun!"

"I'm covered in pumpkin guts. I wouldn't call that fun." Raph snarked, his slight frown growing into a smile at hearing your laugh.

"C'mon, try it. We'll put candles in them and put them out."

"Why?"

"Because it looks cool, Raph. And it'll look cool while we watch our movie later."

"Fine." Raph grinned, watching you continue on with carving out a face on the pumpkin. "Though, still sounds like a fire waiting to happen."

"Well, good thing that you guys already have a fire extinguisher from Donnie's many explosions, hhhmmm?"

"Yeah, yeah. Hand me the knife." Raph grumbled, taking the knife from your hand, and continuing onward to puncture the pumpkin. "Does it have to be a face..?"

"No, it can be anything really." You said, "First time...?"

"Well, between constantly training and saving the city, didn't think to add stabbing pumpkins to the list."

"Carving. We're carving pumpkins. Not stabbing them." You pushed your completed pumpkin towards him, showcasing the bat design carved in the front of the pumpkin.

"Same difference."

Sir Pentious (Hazbin Hotel) - Fall baking

"These are looking great, Pen." You said, placing another sheet of cookies on top of the stove to cool before icing them. "Secret recipe..?"

"Not really," Sir Pentious bashfully smiled, continuing to mix another bowl of cookie dough batter. "Jussst sssomething I learned down here."

"There's cooking classes in Hell...?" You laughed. "Sign me up!"

"Well, I- ah- I could teach you." Sir Pentious said, "I mean, I wouldn't sssay that I'm the bessst or anything. But I would enjoy the company and all. Only if you'd wa-"

"I'd love that Pen!" You said, cutting him off from any further rambling. "You're the best!"

"Of courssse. Anything...Ah!" Sir Pentious yelped, pulling back his hand from the hot pan he had just touched.

"Pen, do you need help? Are you okay?"

"I am fine," He said, wincing as felt you grab his burnt hand.

"You're gonna need some aloe. I'm gonna grab the first aid kit, Pen." You said, running back towards the entrance of the kitchen, and grabbing the first aid kit from the cabinet.

"I can handle that, my dear. The resst of the cookiess ne-"

"And that can wait, Pen. Let me help you." You smiled, walking back over to him. "Here." You grabbed his hand, gently dabbing some aloe of his burn. "This will help."

"Thank you, my dear." You couldn't help but smile at the bright red flush on his face.

"Of course," You grinned, "Now be careful or you won't be teaching me anything."

[n3ssier]

assist . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁

college au!armin arlert x fem!reader

armin arlert isn't necessarily the type to stay up late playing video games, having even taken a break to focus on his studies. this changes when his lifelong friends eren and mikasa finally get him back online when in need of a fifth player for their five stack, and he's met with a new addition to their gaming sessions, becoming infatuated with her after just one night.

part 4/? - masterlist - part 3 - part 5

with just you and armin left to each other, a heavy atmosphere hung between you both. neither of you knew what to say, having previously only spoken a few words to each other which were exclusively about the games you had been in. you waited for armin to speak up, checking your phone and beginning to scroll through instagram.

after a minute or so of swiping through the stories of people you don't even know why you follow, you chuck your phone to the side of the bed and sigh, acknowledging that armin is not willing to be the one to start conversation.

"so, uh, do you want me to queue us up for another game?" you ask feebly. he responds with "nah, it's fine, thanks." your eyebrows raise slightly, making the assumption that if he didn't want to play another game then he would probably be planning on leaving and heading to bed too. you wonder if there's a reason he doesn't want to play with just you, mikasa had never mentioned him having that test like the rest of the group, perhaps he didn't like you? but he breaks the silence before you get the chance to respond to what he had said.

"y/n, how can you always tell where the enemy will be?" you perk up slightly at his sudden question. "what makes you say that i always know where they'll be?" your tv displays the still loading screen as its dramatic background music quietly plays on repeat while you both talk. "well.." he starts, "it kinda feels like you're always one step ahead of me, and i don't understand how you had known the opponent was going to run around to the other side of the room in that last game. if i'm being fully honest, i would've lost that game if it weren't for you."

you smile to yourself lightly, lying back on your bed before answering "i mean, it's not that i always know where they'll be. siege is a game that relies a lot on hearing, so when i heard them throw the grenade at that door, i figured there would be no reason for the enemy to just obviously give away where they were entering. they were using it as a distraction so that you would reveal your position."

"i see," you hear armin say through his microphone. at this point, you're laying down and staring up at the ceiling, just listening to his voice through your headset with the controller lying beside you. your room was dark, with nothing but moonlight shining in through the window and the blue glow of your tv visible in your peripheral vision. "you know, armin, you're like.. low-key mysterious, i usually never hear a word from you!" you giggled. you hear armin exhale in what sounds like a quiet laugh, and you secretley hope he's smiling too, just as you are. you don't know what he looks like or really very much about him at all, but from the conversation you two are sharing just now, he's pretty cool.

at armins desk, he sits with a small smile on his face, looking down at his controller. he's somehow even more intrigued about you than before. letting his curiosity take over, he asks you "how did you meet eren and mikasa?" a small feeling of worry pools in his gut, he didn't want to seem nosey, or even worse jealous, he just hadn't heard of you before he started playing siege with you. "oh, i was put in a group project with mikasa about 6 months ago, and we slowly became friends. we discovered that we both like to play siege a few months back in february and she asked if i could play with her and eren as they wanted an extra body, and then i suppose we just started playing lots together. they've mentioned you before, i assume you used to play with them before me?" armin nods in reply, even though he knows you can't see it, and so he follows up with "we've been friends since we were 7, but, it sometimes feels like they're closer to each other than i am to either of them."

he curses himself mentally, thinking to himself why am i telling her this? this isn't the stuff you say to a girl you hardly know! she's going to think i'm weird, but armin looks up upon hearing your response. "oh really? i've felt that way before, like maybe that they're each others 'number one' but that perhaps you're maybe not anyone's yourself, is that what you mean?" arming mouth opens slightly, and he looks up. "yeah, exactly that!"

still lying in bed, you hum to yourself, "i know what it's like, and it can be pretty lonely, but remember this is your life, not theirs. other people's interpersonal relationships shouldn't determine your self worth." you don't know why you've suddenly decided to give armin life advice, but you just hope he appreciates it. he thanks you softly, and the two of you sit in silence for a moment, unsure if the silence was awkward or actually comfortable you decide to speak.

"it's my turn to ask you a question now!" you grin, hoping to bring armins mood up after his sombre comment. you wait for him to reply with "go ahead," before you ask "are you coming to connie's party on saturday?" armins stops for a minute, and you can only assume he's deciding. you cross your fingers, hoping to hear a yes. you wanted to see him, see what he looks like, really meet him, and you wanted him to see you too, because you can't help but feel so curious about him.

"uhm, i'm not sure. i'll probably just ask who is staying home and see if they'll play siege with me. every time i party i always get far too drunk, all thanks to eren giving me drink after drink all night." your face scrunches up in frustration, but then you remember, none of the group you play siege with is staying home! will he really choose to stay home alone and solo queue? "awh man, i mean as far as i'm aware connie said that eren, jean, mikasa, sasha, like everyone we hang about with is going." he pauses and you hear nothing but the background music still playing on repeat from your game which has been left on the loading screen for the past 10 minutes. "shit, man. i guess ill go. are you coming?" he then asks, and in your mind you secretly celebrate. "yeah i'm going! just ask connie or sasha for the details."

"cool, i'll send him a message in the morning, want to play some more siege now?" you slowly sit up from where you were laying on the bed, and respond with "sure!" before putting the two of you into the queue for another game.

mini taglist: @hitcheddreyse

also just wanted to say my requests are open guys !! check out my request rules first tho but im very eager to write atm

[therivercrow]

Another Rook Ask Game

The lovely @robinsea sent me this Rook Ask Game - original post by @obsessed-with-book-boyfriends.

There's quite a few questions, so my answers for Alana are beneath the cut:

1. Did Rook have any crushes within their faction before they left with Varric?

Alana had a fledgling crush on Teia (because who doesn't?) and had a brief one-night thing with Noa de Acutis while they were on a stakeout together.

2. Is your Rook allergic to anything?

Erm...other people's bullshit? Does that count? Nah, no allergies as far as I know.

3. Sweet or Savory snacks?

Both - dark chocolate covered coffee beans are their favourite.

4. What movie genre would they like best?

Probably stuff that's kind of arty and weird and makes some abstract point about loneliness or memory. If they watched any assassin/spy movies they'd be the one pointing out all the things the film gets wrong and how it really doesn't work like that.

5. Favorite Season? Why?

Spring, because the lilacs are in bloom.

6. What’s their favorite hobby/interest?

Cooking with Lucanis, playing the elven bass, reading trashy novels that Bellara lends them.

7. Favorite type of jewelry? (Rings/Necklaces/Bracelets)

Alana's not one for jewellery - it gets in the way in a fight. But a couple of well-placed rings can add impact to a punch, so those.

8. What is your Rook’s favorite animal?

Cats! They absolutely stop to pet every cat in Thedas, and want to adopt one (or several) after all this business with the gods is dealt with.

9. Pick a song from their playlist. What is it, and what made you choose it?

Within Temptation - Stand My Ground.

This one opens my "Songs for Rook" playlist and encapsulates Alana's attitude:

Though this might just be the ending of the life I held so dear / But I won't run, there's no turning back from here...

10. What is a random quirk your Rook has?

They're unable to stay still, Alana is always fidgeting, twitching, just constant movement.

11. Extrovert or Introvert?

Introvert. They love the Veilguard team, but they absolutely need to take time to themself to recharge, usually on the top balcony of the lighthouse with a coffee.

12. Something that annoys your Rook?

Bureaucracy and petty politics (looking at you, governor Ivenci!)

13. What languages does your Rook know?

Common/Trade, Antivan, Tevene, some Orlesian, a few phrases in elven and Qunlat (mostly swears in the latter).

14. Are they ticklish?

Nobody ever gets close enough to find out.

15. If your Rook could do anything, no repercussions, what would they do?

Punch governor Ivenci in the face.

16. Would your Rook make a good villain?

For Alana to become a villain, they would have to lose everything and everyone they care for so that their rage is the only thing left. They'd be terrifying and destructive - the kind who just wants to burn the world because they can't live in it any longer. I...don't like thinking about that.

17. What does your Rook do to wind down after a stressful day (like post Weisshaupt)?

Their Crow training exercises. The rhythm of martial arts, weapons drills, magical training gives them a sense of stability when everything else feels unstable.

18. Your Rook discovered a portal to another fictional world. Where did they end up? (And how screwed are they?)

So, Faerun was the obvious choice but I watched Arcane recently and like the idea of them ending up in the Undercity. They're a magic assassin, so they'd be fine - probably end up running the place.

19. How easy is it to get your Rook out of bed in the morning?

Alana's an early riser, unless they've had a long night (either on a contract or just...a big night at the Hilt or Cobbled Swan) and then they'll sleep til noon.

20. How organized is your Rook?

Meticulously. Crow training, especially with Viago, taught them to always have everything in its place. Weapons cleaned and racked properly, Crow leathers hanging up to avoid wrinkles, potions in clearly labelled bottles in a proper potion chest. Their room is like a military barracks and they like it that way.

[immoralimmortals]

ok so what if, hear me out Takara was pregnant (gasp) nah like I want to hear your thoughts on this

So all cards on the table...miracle of life, wonderful, wonderful thing... Yeah, I know all that. But all the same, pregnancy to me is largely a form of body horror. A lot of this is going to be on the fly since it's not my cup of tea. So putting that aside and trying to make the subject warm and romantic, here are some thoughts on what it'd be like if Takara was pregnant:

You KNOW they dote on her. Absolute kings. There isn't a day that passes where ten separate Akatsuki members come up to her, if not multiple times, to make sure she's okay.

Itachi swears she's radiant, glowing like she's holy. You've heard this all before in other headcanons on this site-- he's over the moon with love. Glued to her side, yet somehow not overbearing. 10/10, I'd let this man be with me during my morning sickness. Takara will want for nothing. Probably becomes the most overtly sweet and romantic in al the time they've known each other, gently stroking her skin and kissing her head. When it comes to the point where she's "showing", he's quick to tell Kisame to do tasks for Takara whenever she's about to do something, and he has to be reminded she's not useless and it's good for both her and the pregnancy to continue being active.

You thought Kisame was awkward and cautious *before*? He's at the point where every single little touch, regardless how small or where it is on her body, is so, so purposeful. Nothing he does is haphazard. He will clear paths for her if necessary. He's her knight, her guardian, placing himself between her and the rest of the world. Definitely at one point rests his head on her belly and cries. He's very quick to answer to Itachi's orders and further enables inactivity. It is a lot easier to use his body to interact with other things than it is to use it to directly touch her; he's up for anything. He'll mow down a mountain just so she could go for a walk without having an incline. He will walk to town to buy her flowers every single day.

Hidan gets...quieter around her, especially as the pregnancy begins to show. He's more observant than before. Still gets into his usual attitudes if he doesn't understand or see something coming ("What? You seemed FINE a second ago! What do you MEAN you're gonna throw up!")...but he's certainly taking all this in. What does it mean to Jashin if someone brings forth life instead of takes it? He holds his prayer beads and feels the sigil between his fingers, only shutting his eyes to pray once she is surely asleep. He'll wonder a lot, eventually out loud, what the baby is going to be like, who they'll grow up to be, what it'll be like to have one around. He won't say it, but he's nervous as hell for that part. It's a whole new human being.

Kakuzu is so fucking stressed. This man is the closest in the group to being a normal-ass man with a normal-ass job and goal. He is trying to coordinate enough income for eleven fucking people to live at least somewhat comfortably. You're going to add a BABY? Good lord he might break. That being said, he's a worrywort that's always a little bit on edge. If someone is fucking around with her or the pregnancy too much, he will actually hit you. ...But not until he took you outside, she doesn't need to see it and stress herself or the baby. He is also especially concerned about accidentally being too rough. She'd have to convince him to touch her or sit next to her. Once she does? He finally relaxes, and he's in heaven. There's a whole world that fits right in his arms. He has a second chance not just with her but this child to have a life worth living.

Deidara is the most to treat her like...a normal human being undergoing a body change? I'm not saying he's uncaring, more like he's the best at not losing his fucking mind. Most willing to just hang out and not make it weird, let her do things on her own. Other people-- no, literally everyone else-- will see her reaching up in the kitchen cabinet for a mug and will scold him for not jumping to do it for her. He argues otherwise-- and it makes sense-- so therefore the other person gets pissed off. He tells Takara to be grateful for what he does for her independence, and she genuinely is, rewarding him with a kiss on the cheek that makes him bright red. It makes him stutter and try to move on so things are normal again. I think like Hidan-- even more so actually-- he's very curious about what it'll be like once the baby is around. It's fun to see her change little by little, day by day, too.

Sasori doesn't like change. That's kind of his whole bit. He isn't looking forward to the noise, the filth, the troubles of a baby and then later another growing person. So the pregnancy is kind of a precursor for that. Once it's clear that yes, this baby is coming, he has to make peace with it. He's the one that's most attentive about her physical health and body. He'll notice any change in color of her skin-- reddening or paling-- catch on to ANY morning sickness before she even says a word. She'd have to remind him that regardless of if the stretch marks stay, they're a part of her right now, and with that explanation he begrudgingly appreciates them. He eventually becomes entranced by the idea of teaching the child what he knows.

Konan is...wistful, I think, as well as in awe. She's kind of like Itachi in that she's very present, very gentle. But Takara being pregnant gives her a lot of...thought. Surely when she was born-- when Nagato and Yahiko were born-- their parents, too, had the best intentions in the world. A piece of her is afraid. The best laid plans can still fall into ruin, the intentions of being good parents and giving a happy life certainly did not happen to her and her friends. That being said, she finds comfort in being a pragmatic planner. She's the one that gets a routine for Takara both prenatal and then postnatal, the one that strategized how the baby is going to be educated, what kind of food they need, etc. So if nothing else-- if anything and everything goes wrong-- they at least have a plan to follow even if they panic. She also, like Itachi, finds her radiant in this time. I can see her sitting with Takara and holding her hand for hours on end, just finding peace in how much she loves her right now.

Nagato picks up where Konan leaves off on the whole planning thing. She is not to be alone at any time. She wants to go for a walk? Kisame, walk ten paces ahead, Kakuzu, ten paces behind, Deidara, go up in the trees. If she so much as scrapes her knee, there will be consequences. This will NOT be fucked up. He won't say it, but he loves her even more right now than he ever thought he could. He thinks that despite all her flaws-- any human has flaws, of course-- Takara will be the best mother to grace this universe or any other.

"Tobi" is so, so excited. While Konan is sitting next to her, he's on the floor, wrapping around Takara's legs, talking endlessly about how much fun the baby is going to be. He's also excessively careful and protective, which is in earnest at heart but also being played up so no one second guesses he's an idiot. He will throw away a cup of tea if he deems it too hot for her to drink, uncaring if it hits and spills on someone else. In private...he's quieter. I can see him putting on her socks for her as she has trouble bending, and he does it nearly reverently, looking up at her through that mask with a gaze she can feel as adoring. Obito is feeling every emotion possible. He's afraid, he's overjoyed, he's shaken, he's happy. This situation is the culmination of everything he's come to want while Takara has been here. He looks at her carrying this baby like she's Mary, mother of Jesus.

Zetsu is the funniest one. He doesn't get it. Like he DOES-- there'd be a joke where he'd say he doesn't get it and Tobi begins to explain where babies came from and Zetsu would yell at him to shut up-- but he doesn't get it. He's like me, the author, in the sense that like...if you really want to experience parenthood...why are you making a whole new baby? There are so many babies out there who NEED a parent. And you're going to fill up that slot? Humans are really genuinely so selfish, what the hell. That aside, he's at least mindful of her, in a physical and medical sense. He asks her questions, in the rare moments she is alone, and he genuinely listens and tries to engage. I think he would, finally, in at least a little way "get it" when Takara invites him to put an ear to her stomach and listen.

Everyone is excited to see who the father is, regardless of how much they say it does or doesn't matter.

[redo-rewind-if]

Hey! How would ROs who are in a relationship with MC react when they come across their versions before they were with MC? My fanfic is that MC's powers broke the time line but imagine the conversation XD

Lmao, I imagine all parties involved would be really fucking confused. Probably wondering if they had a gas leak lol.

But if they got past their initial feeling of wtf... Well, I'll put some short convos below the cut. 😉 (I used "F!" to indicate which is the future version fyi.)

--------

V: "This is... unprecedented. I would say we should avoid interaction in case the two of us meeting worsens things, but I fear it's too late for that."

F!V: "Most likely. I suppose we should consider it an opportunity. The future..." They shake their head. "I shouldn't tell you much but, (MC)... keep a close eye on them. They'll need your support more than you could ever know."

The softness in their voice must betray the depth of their feelings, given how their past iteration's eyes widen in shock.

V: "...You didn't." They say flatly, judgement heavy in their tone. "They're our employee!"

F!V: "I fear I have no idea what you're talking about." They reply, a light blush coloring their cheeks. "Moving on..."

--------

Amara: "This is so fucking weird." She says standing in what is both undeniably her living room and yet, not.

F!Amara: "I know right, I was just waking up in bed with (MC), and then, poof, here you are. So, so, weird."

Amara: Looks thoughtful for a moment, before a teasing smile brightens her face. "(MC)? Oooh? Is that where our relationship's headed? Nice. But, as much as I wanna ask more, guess we should probably focus on whatever the hell's goin' on here first, huh?"

F!Amara: "Probably. Unless..." She trails off with a conspiratorial smile.

Amara: Sighs dramatically. "Okay, fine. You've won. Go on then, tell me everything. And don't leave out a single detail."

--------

August: "Nah, no fucking way am I dealing with this right now."

F!August: "Oh come on, aren't you the least bit curious to know what happens? How things play out with—"

August: "Fine." He interrupts bluntly. "I'll bite. Not that I can see many ways you could surprise me. How'd the job with (MC) go?"

F!August: "Well, they aren't dead. That's for sure." He says with a low chuckle. "Really, I'd advise you rethink your current plans around them altogether. It won't go how you think. No, what you'll find is something much better."

August: Looking mildly perturbed. "...I really need to stop sleeping with my targets, don't I?"

[theallianceofcelestials]

I'm curious about this. What if SAMS sun and moon both turned into babies again, their stuck like that for 3 hours. But the second they turned into babies they fall in the portal and into the SEA dimension and land in the middle of the SEA family playing a video game. Their stuck with them till the 3 hours are up and they turn back to normal. SAMS moon and sun then explain what happened once their back to normal and go back to their dimension.

You don't have to answer this if you don't want to. I'm just curious of how the SEA family would react to this.

Don't worry! I answer every ask so long as they aren't offensive/spam bots. So far there have only been bots

Free babies falling from the ceiling? Ones that look like his brothers? Sign KC up! He can finally see how his brothers would have looked as babies with all the ridiculous stuff of the modern world! And they're also adorable little buggers, even if he probably figures out there're adults in there. No baby tries to write with the crayons they're given stuff like that

So the SEA fam is aware these are people from another dimension probably, and that they're adults, however Eclipse assumes they're like this and here with them because of some SCP, and no one can refute him because unless this takes place after the Stellar Remnants crossovers, they don't have a portal yet. So all they can assume is SCP bullshitery

Despite the minor bullying going on, they would take care of them. Like they'd chill with the babified TSAMS Sun and Moon, which'd probably make it a more positive experience for them too. Even if they probably freaked the hell out because of Bloodmoon, Killcode and Eclipse. But nah, they know they're safe now, so they can eat the snacks and play the games. Even if it'd be better if they were adults. But thanks to Eclipse's hypothesis they're aware these people can't really help turn them back to normal.

Eclipse might have to take them away from Bloodmoon though when they want to take them out to teach them how to hunt, because just because they look like babies, they aren't actual babies Bloodmoon. They, of course, know this, but they can already see this Sun and Moon are pathetic hunters and need all the help they can get

So now Eclipse is stuck with his old programming trying to rear its ugly head, but that's fine, he's going to pass them off to Sun while he goes off with Solar Flare to continue playing something together or to watch something. The babies can watch if they wanna, but he can ignore them then and won't have to deal with his daycare programming

But I think when they get back, TSAMS Sun and Moon would blacklist the hell out of the SEA dimension. Those people have a bunch of embarrassing shit on them, and also they don't want to deal with actual SCPs. They have enough problems. Unfortunately for them, I'm feeling evil so they'll either lose their blacklisted dimension list again and have to redo it (kinda happened already) and forget SEA, or SEA can't be blocked

But even if they manage to block Normal SEA, there's still Mirror SEA

[marveladdictjones]

Tending Wounds

pairing: TASM!Peter Parker x fem!reader warnings/tags: mentions of injuries, mentions of blood, mentions of violence, leading up to nsfw but fade to black, no use of y/n summary: basically tending to the wounds trope a/n: alright, we're back! wc: 1.1k

It's already late at night when you walk into your bedroom, getting ready to go to bed as you hear a soft tapping on your window. 

At first, you dismiss it, but the tapping becomes louder, making you walk over to the window and open the curtains, revealing Peter in his Spider-Man suit. There are a few cuts and bruises on his face, as well as red blood stains on his suit.

Before you can say something, he speaks up, his voice muffled by the glass between you, "I'm so sorry, I didn't know where else to go..."

Not sure how to respond, you just open the window and help him inside. Once he's somewhat steadily standing on your bedroom floor and you've closed the window, you turn towards him.

"Do I want to know how this happened?" You ask, raising an eyebrow at him.

"Probably not," Peter answers, his voice slightly cracking and his breath laboured from the injuries.

"Alright, then we'll just get you patched up." You say it as if it's normal, and to your defense, it kind of has become just that. Ever since you found out about Peter's secret identity, nights like these have become far more frequent than you'd anticipated.

At first, you had questioned him why he hadn't just gone to a hospital, but you quickly stopped once you realised that he'd have to answer too many questions he couldn't answer truthfully.

Step by little step, you walked him out of your bedroom and into your small kitchen. There, you helped him clamber up on the kitchen island to get a proper look at the wounds.

"Well, luckily, they all seem superficial," You say as your eyes scan over his body. "You won't need stitches, but they'll definitely need to be disinfected and bandaged up properly."

"Luckily for me, I have you as my nurse to patch me up," Peter responds, biting back a cheeky grin despite the severity of the situation.

"Don't get me started, bug boy." You shake your head as you retrieve your first-aid kit from under the sink. "Alright, gotta clean this up first."

After applying some anti-septic to a cotton ball, you carefully dab at the gashes on his cheek. Peter tries to sit still, but the sting from the rubbing alcohol makes him lightly jerk his head to the side.

"Pete, you gotta sit still," You mumble as you try to clean the gash.

"I know, but it's difficult," He answers, trying to avoid the cotton ball.

In an attempt to keep him from moving away, you lightly grab his chin to hold his head still. "There we go," You say as you finish up cleaning, shooting him a light smile. "Just some bandaids and you're good to go."

Peter softly nods, very aware of the fact you're still holding onto his chin, your thumb barely brushing against his bottom lip. His breath catches in the back of his throat, and he's thankful you're preoccupied with the bandaids to hear him.

His eyes begin to wander, trailing along your arm to your shoulders, up to your face until they fall down to your lips. He seems to have gotten a bit caught up, because he doesn't notice you've said anything until your hand suddenly waves in front of his eyes.

"Earth to Parker," You say, letting out a light chuckle when Peter snaps back to reality. "Ah, there you are."

"Sorry, you were saying?" He asks, lightly shaking his head as if clearing up the haze.

"Can you maybe spread your legs so I can stand in between them?" You ask as you look at him, "I'll have closer access to your face that way."

"Yeah. Yeah, of course," Peter says, still not really present.

As you stand between his legs and apply the bandaids, you speak up again, "You don't feel lightheaded, right?"

"No, why?"

"You sound a bit off, thought you might be feeling a bit out of sorts."

"Nah, I'm fine."

"And you also don't have a headache or feeling ill?" You ask, "Because it takes a lot of energy from your body when it needs to focus on healing you back up."

Peter's hands move from their spot on the kitchen island and rest on your arms. He softly says your name, but you're too busy listing off everything that he could experience besides pain from his wounds. He says your name a little louder, catching your attention this time.

"I promise, I'm feeling fine," He says, looking into your eyes. "Although, I guess there's one thing that could help me feel better..."

"Well, come on, spit it out," You say with a light chuckle.

Peter's hands move from your arms to your waist, gently pulling you closer. "Tell me to stop..." He whispers while looking into your eyes.

"Stop what?" You ask rather rhetorically, your voice slightly catching in your throat as you step closer to him.

"Tell me to stop thinking about you..." Peter whispers, "Tell me to stop thinking about running my hands over your body; tell me to stop thinking about kissing you; tell me to stop wanting you close to my body, to consume me whole and to say you want the same."

"Peter..." You say softly as you look into his eyes. For a moment, the world is dead silent with the exception of your breathing. But then, as if a magnetic force is pulling you towards each other, his lips find yours.

You get lost in the moment for a second, but then pull away while forcing your breathing to calm down. "We shouldn't do this, you're hurt," You say, taking a step back. "I don't want to make it worse."

But Peter follows you and hops from the kitchen island. "You're not gonna hurt me, darling," He says while slowly walking you backwards until your back softly hits the wall. "And no, I don't need any painkillers. You are the only drug I need."

While leaning you against the wall, he attaches his lips back on yours with more fervour this time. Noticing that your hands tentatively work their way into his hair, he softly whispers against your lips, "It's alright."

With his confirmation, your fingers begin to gently comb through his hair, occasionally tugging on the strands, eliciting soft groans from Peter. As if you weighed nothing but like a feather, he picked you up by your waist, your legs carefully wrapping around his.

"Peter," You whisper softly, "You should probably rest."

"Right," He answers, "Then off to bed we go."

© This work belongs to @marveladdictjones, please do not copy this work to any other site or claim it as your own. Reblogs are allowed and appreciated!

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[am-i-the-asshole-official]

aita for ignoring my dad when i bring him his food?

p low stakes but the situation prompting this has happened a couple times and im wondering if im being normal about it. anyways during covid my family would eat separately and its sort of just stayed that way esp bc my dad and my brother sometimes work remotely so they'll just eat at their desks. so i (20) take my dad's (60s?) food upstairs to his room for lunch and dinner. i knock and then enter. usually he moves his stuff around so i can put the tray down in front of him but sometimes he's busy doing something else and there's no stable place for me to put it. so before, i just stood there holding the tray waiting for him to finish up. usually just a few minutes and im not in a rush anyway.

when hes not busy, he'll just move his stuff, say thank you and maybe talk to me about the food or the news hes watching or whatever else. sometimes we make conversation sometimes we don't but that's whatever.

but im kind of getting fed up with him when hes busy bc when i go into the room its very obvious that im there but my dad doesnt even spare me a glance. like if he looked up and said "sorry, can you wait a second?" that'd be fine. but instead he just stares at his computer typing or doing whatever work and completely ignoring me until he's done. i feel like completely ignoring me is really rude. and the tray can be kind of heavy sometimes.

so this time i waited like 15 seconds or so, no acknowledgement from my dad, so i just put it down on the armrest of the chair next to him (which is somewhere he's asked me to put it before so im not being malicious or anything). i turned around and started to leave and he calls after me and was like ??? i cant remember how i responded but i remembered he said thank you but that he'd be more thankful if i hadnt just left. i said no you wouldn't (bc he just gives me a regular thanks no matter what) and left.

im probably being immature/petty and i anticipate people saying "just talk to him" which im gonna do next time it happens. but idk i think it was worth it to give him a taste of his own medicine and i don't feel that guilty about it. was i an asshole?