#nonbinary people exist. we are real. and here.

[velvetvexations]

Honestly the thing that pisses me the fuck off the most about Kris discourse (Kriscourse?) is that the TRFs perpetuating it just straight up lie about what is in the game. Using "Mancountry" being a place within Kris's psyche as proof that they were ever treated like a man (when it's called that because it contains the mysterious man, and has a sign saying "non-men are welcome too.") Saying that because they have unused Manly Man body spray that that was forced on them and they didn't want to use it, when in reality Susie's dialogue when you visit the Dreemurr residence with her confirms that it actually belongs to Asriel.

Headcanons are genuinely fine; I'm of the camp that you can headcanon a gay character as straight if you want to even if I think it's a little déclassé. But when people actively lie about the content of a work in order to perpetuate nonbinary erasure and for no other reason it grinds my fucking gears.

disclaimer: I am a trans woman myself

It sure does me too, anon. That's why I'm going to take this post with over five thousand notes that annoys the shit out of me and dissect why it's incredibly bad and stupid, like literally every single other case of "you're transmisogynistic if you don't agree with me about the lore of children's media."

deltarune begins by discarding the appearance and name you choose, then immediately proceeds to show the protagonist being called the name their mother likely chose for them.

Immediately a fatal misunderstanding of the game's themes that completely ruins everything Tobyfox is trying to do with this aspect of the game. It is in fact literally the opposite of the intent. In this situation, you, the player, are the one imposing your preferred identity onto Kris! Holy fucking shit, we are literally one sentence in and the whole post may as well just consist of "I am misgendering Kris so that I can obliterate their own sense of identity and fill it in with my own because I hate non-binary people and am made violently feral when a work says that's bad."

Jesus fucking Christ.

at school, they encounter susie, an outcast who's treated as a deadly monster (even by her teacher) despite the fact that she never follows through on her violent threats.

Wait, so Susie is a transfem allegory too? While this reading would not be inherently valid, the fact that neither Kris or Ralsei - who are also, apparently, transfem - are treated with anything other than respect would seem to imply that closeted transfems do not deal with things like that and it's only once you come out that you then lose male privilege. FASCINATING. Once again the relentless urge to force one's own sense of self onto the media they consume is incoherent and doesn't gel because they want literally every likable character to be that and it makes the aLlEgOrY wildly inconsistent.

Also - Susie is the own fucking cause of her problems! She could choose to not put up the facade of violence, which is one hundred percent not forced on her at all. If the aLlEgOrY is that she's transfem, there's no other way to read it than saying that trans women make up problems and should just relax. Given how they focus all their attention on things like top scars on plushies and drawings of cowboys, I can maybe kinna see see how they could have gotten that impression, but I happen to think transmisogyny is a real thing that exists.

kris and susie are then forced by their teacher to go into the closet, a dark place whose residents are oppressed by wider society.

Hey, here's an allegory that could possibly work! Too bad it isn't transfem specific!

And by the way? Everyone calls Kris they/them. Kris is trans. Kris is already trans. All this shit about the closet and Kris's name being a sign that they exist in a state of being denied their true trans self only makes fucking sense if you don't consider non-binary people as meaningfully trans ahhh they are literally just saying the loud part quiet. Like they hate non-binary people who don't connect their gender to being any kinna woman and they! Are! Saying it! OUT LOUD!

there, they meet ralsei, who initially covers his entire face and body with a cloak

Yes, Ralsei enters the game wearing a cloak. Which he takes off the second he's asked to. He says "um, alright," in a way that could maybe apply hesitancy, but he then also immediately cheerfully explains how wonderful it is to meet them. He is clearly not so dysphoric that it ever at any point makes him uncomfortable beyond that. Perhaps, I suppose, Tobyfox is saying that dysphoria isn't that bad and pushing oneself past it is unfathomably easy task that takes all of two seconds?

tells them with an air of resignation that he's been waiting his entire life to meet them so he can fulfill the role of the prince of darkness that's been forced upon him.

This is almost as murderous to the narrative as misunderstanding Kris's name.

Picking out the "PRINCE" part of why all this makes him sad is so stupid, so fucking disingenuous and clearly untrue, that I'm enraged that someone would type it out in an attempt to deceive people with an idea that's not just offensive for all the transphobic reasons this ties into but because thinking anyone would accept it is an expression of boiling malevolence for the entire human race. You have to be a dark beacon of complete and utter misanthropy to think this warping of fact would pass the sniff test of anyone with a pulse.

and I struggle to imagine the kind of cognitive dissonance it would require to understand it as anything else

I don't think the OOP knows anything about cognitive anything. Totally alien word to them. Doesn't apply to anything they've ever experienced in life.

BTW, OOP also reblogs caping for genocide. Just, you know, something to think about when it comes to how disgustingly picky they are about what's praxis and what isn't. This is who pulls the headcanon cop shit, actual, literal fascists, people who are fascists, people who support fascism, people who see Neo-Nazi PMCs killing Syrians with sledgehammers and say "ooh, my anti-imperialist senpais!" with cartoon hearts in their eyes like they just met the love of their life.

You may be thinking, oh, velvetvexations, that seems like a stretch! Perhaps it's just this one person! Well, no, it isn't, the vast majority of people who do this really are also the most disgustingly evil people to claim to be progressive, and just because this is so much lower stakes doesn't mean the constant impulse to control and silence others to accept a reality that exclusively glorifies them is not evident across quite a lot of their interests.

[mothbeasts]

actually I'm just gonna say it some of y'all are strange about trans people.

hi. going to speak on something that's been bothering me for the past... however long, since it seems like complaint posts have been cropping up lately. putting this under the cut.

Maybe I'm reading too far into things. Maybe I'm wrong. But I feel like there is a massive difference in how this fandom treats the women versus the men.

Again. Maybe I'm wrong. I sincerely hope I'm just wrong. It's hard to think that, though, when I see the differences in how people treat the major antagonists of the series.

John Juniper is a fandom favorite. I feel like people have talked about him more than any other character I've seen, save for Agent Phoenix and perhaps the Handler. I see people come up with any reason for him to not actually be as bad of a person as we see in canon - despite the fact that he wants to launch nuclear weapons. He wants to kidnap and impersonate public figures. He's having a good time playing the villain. I've seen his actions excused in any number of ways.

Meanwhile... When people do talk about Solaris, it tends to be to remind people of very surface level information, rather than to do any sort of in depth analysis style posts. I see information that's incomplete or just not really true passed around a lot. The Fabricator is flattened down so incredibly often to just one character trait - her anger, typically exaggerated to be comical hatred of John Juniper in particular or just... Violence in general. And yes, she gets angry frequently, but I never see her given the same depth to that anger as John Juniper is given to his. And Prism? An antagonist that gets as much screen time as Juniper, if not more? I hardly see her mentioned at all these days. And even when she was talked about, I don't recall seeing many people analyze her character. Or talk about her motivations. Definitely not in the same way Juniper gets talked about, at the very least. All three of them are mischaracterized often, from my observations, flattened to pave the way for... John Juniper, mostly.

And that's not even getting into the background women who aren't talked about at all when compared to the men with similar story roles.

It's... Frustrating. I surround myself with people who enjoy the characters I do, who find it interesting to talk about the women in this game. I make the content I want to see. But the last time I said anything outside of those close circles, I was told to... Make the content I want to see. To engage with the content that's out there. And that frustrates me, too. Because I'm making it. I had been making it. I was actively working on Biomechatronic at the time. I was drawing, posting my art, and ever since I entered the fandom I've focused mainly on the women - The Fabricator, in particular. And I don't make art just for views or internet points or what have you, but it is discouraging to feel like the fandom doesn't care about what I have to offer.

Like whatever characters you want to like. I'm not trying to tell anyone to stop making the art or posts they enjoy making. But... I have noticed a trend, and it's one I find somewhat concerning. That's all.

[cinnayanny]

Here's why women should be allowed to have woman-only spa-

DELETE YOUR REBLOG

Do you see how easy it is to fall for radical feminism?

Because it is WAY easier than anyone wants to admit.

Radical feminism isn't bad because it's transphobic, or the radfem treats trans women as men. It's bad because they treat men as an inherent evil that cannot be fixed outside eradication.

Early feminism was about how women should have the right to exist in the same spaces as men without risk, why do you want there to suddenly be segregation again?

It's all gender essentialism and an inability to actually fix the core problem. We can demand that society does better in getting rid of abusers but we cannot say that "abuser = man".

Radfems think that transandrophobia isn't real and use mocking terms for it.

Radfems think that a woman is uniquely incapable of being an abuser.

Radfems will doubt a man's ability to control his sexual urges.

Radfems will state that a man's romantic attraction are different from a woman's.

Radfems try to act like sex is a binary and intersex people should just "pick a sex".

Radfems think that the mutilation of intersex people at birth should happen under some circumstance.

Radfems say "cis people can get hormone blockers" as a way to erase intersex people.

Radfems don't believe in nonbinary people if they're AFAB, and if a nonbinary person dare present masc then clearly they're a man.

Radfems believe AFAB nonbinary people are just playing a funny pronoun game

Radfems will ignore WOC

Radfems will see a WOC not fitting the White Woman Beauty Standard, and then treat her as subhuman and evil

Radfems will see a MOC and start throwing slurs such as the n-word because the target is a man

And if you agree with any of those, even performativity, I will call you a radfem. I don't care if you don't think of yourself as one, you are.

[letters-to-lgbt-kids]

My dear lgbt+ kids, 

Just a quick note for Pride month, since it invariably always wakes up the „But what about…“ crowd: 

Awareness months for other things already exist. 

„Why do gays and transgenders get a whole month and US veterans don’t get anything?“ They actually get two months. National Military Appreciation Month is May, while National Veterans and Military Families Month is November.

„I have nothing against the lgbt+ community but if they get a whole month, it’d only be fair if we’d have a month for disabled people too“. Good news, Disability Pride Month already exists: July! 

„Cis women are oppressed too and they don’t get a whole month“. What about Women’s Health Month in May or Women’s History Month in March, for example? 

„People are already aware that gay men exist. What about some awareness for smaller minorities?“ Good idea, what are you doing for Asexual Awareness Week (October), Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week (February), Nonbinary People’s Day (July 14), Intersex Awareness Day (October 26) or Bisexual Awareness Week (September)? (Plus, Pride has never been about gay men only. Saying this shows quite a lack in historical knowledge, actually.) 

There are a lot of causes to support and there’s only twelve months. Our community doesn’t even have a monopoly on June - we share our month with Men’s Health Awareness, Infertility Awareness , PTSD Awareness and Caribbean‑American Heritage Month, for example. 

Let’s be honest here: this isn’t actually about other groups or causes not having their own months. If they genuinely cared about those causes so much, they’d be involved enough in them to be aware of their respective months and dates. Ideally, they’d even be involved enough to do something for those months. 

Because the truth is, Pride Month doesn’t just magically happen, either. It’s not like June rolls around and, boom, there’s Pride. People make it happen. People are involved in the cause. People organize and plan and pay for and promote Pride events. People show up. 

So, when they ask „But what about…“, the real question is: Are they actually doing something for that other cause - or do they only bring it up when it’s a convenient way to disparage Pride? 

With all my love, 

Your Tumblr Dad 

[genderqueerdykes]

now more than ever it's blatantly obvious that people go out of their way to erase trans men from communities and queer history. it's always been happening, but it's way easier to watch it in real time now thanks to the internet and social media. we are watching people basically gloating that they misgender trans men and don't see them as men. we are now watching people kick trans men out of queer spaces because they are often "femme and them" or "nonbinary and woman" support groups, conflating nonbinary identities with womanhood, and denying trans men or transmasc nonbinary people places to go. many of them get told that their presence would "scare" the lesbians, women and enbies because they have trauma.

where do the trans men with trauma go, though? we can't go anywhere. when i was struggling with domestic violence that ended up destroying my right leg, i was denied shelter in queer spaces and even women's spaces even though i have F on license. domestic violence shelters especially will turn trans men away if we pass. even if we partially identify as women, we can't go in because 'our voices are deep and scary and we're loud and aggressive and threatening and might prey on the defenseless scared women'

finding transmasc support groups is like trying to find a needle in a haystack. i've seen numerous organizations across the US have transfemme support groups, nonbinary/genderqueer support groups, and then nothing for transmascs. where the hell do we go when they won't let us go anywhere?

we try to exist online and they try to erase us from here, too. bickering and arguing about how we're not real men, sending trans men death and sexual assault threats, acting like they're saviors for kicking out the "dangerous ugly men" from the queer community, as if we don't belong to it at all.

i refuse to be erased. i refuse to sit in silence while people tell me my problems don't matter because now i "have male privilege". I don't. once people find out what my legal name is they view me as a woman. strangers however view me as a cis man and will deny me help, either through programs, or because i'm a "strong young man, i should be able to pick myself up by my boot straps." i'm not white. i'm not abled.

i'm proud to be a trans man and i will be here to fight for other trans men's rights to have a platform to speak, and spaces to occupy. i will not rest until trans men & mascs have safe places to be and meet other trans men.

trans men are queer. we belong here. we are taking up the space we rightfully deserve and we are not leaving.

[this-is-exorsexism]

i'm gonna be real with you all. i've kind of been spiralling into dysphoria and internalised exorsexism. as stated in my pinned post, i'm multiply disabled. one of these disabilities is low vision, and i recently finished my O&M training. before that training, i was quite isolated and didn't go out much by myself. now i am able to use public transport and travel to unfamiliar places independently - but going out more also means being seen by more people, being subjected to the binary gaze. as a white cane user, i sometimes have to ask people for help or have people approach me asking if i need help - "don't perceive me" is not an option for me if i want to be safe and independent. there were a few times on my travels where i got misgendered, including very rudely by staff in a shop very loudly talking about my disability as if i wasn't there. and even if it wasn't super often, for some reason it must have really got to me. maybe it's because the top of my undercut now goes past my shoulder and that plus boobs reads "female" to people. i'm fat which makes my curves appear even more. and i like my hair. and i like my curves. and i don't want top surgery. but i hate how the binary gaze reads all of this as female. i hate that people misread my body. i hate that i don't have a chance of ever being gendered correctly because society does not recognise nonbinary people and if i were to cut my hair again they'd call me he which is just as wrong, but at least adds "balance". all the ideas about "privileged theyfabs who don't medically transition" have gotten to me massively. i feel like if i'm so obviously "female" to people i don't deserve to ask for different pronouns, i don't deserve to be out, i don't deserve to assert my gender. i feel like what's the point? being nonbinary in a binary world feels futile. i feel like i don't deserve to call myself trans because i don't want to medically transition (except maybe a hysterectomy if i ever get the money and a surgeon who will operate on fat people). not can't. don't WANT to. i feel like i don't deserve to call myself trans because i can't be bothered to bind. i feel like i don't deserve to call myself trans because i don't mind my body as it is for the most part but see it as nonbinary.i feel like i don't deserve to call myself trans because i look too female to people. i feel like i don't deserve to call myself trans because i'm doing things many people would consider "going back to my AGAB" like growing out my hair, wearing dresses, wearing earrings. i feel like i hardly deserve to call myself nonbinary because clearly i'm not doing enough to "neutralise" my appearance to be seen as anything other than female, i'm "not putting in the effort to pass". i feel like my oppression isn't real while at the same time rationally knowing that i only feel this way because of oppression. i also feel so alone because i never see anyone like me. fat nonbinary people are underrepresented. i never see nonbinary people with visible boobs who don't identify as fem(me). i never see what my style can look like because the only people i ever see in "men's" clothes are people invested in hiding their chest, "androgyny" is either boobless or boobs and beard. people like me don't seem to exist. all of these feelings are very new to me, especially in this intensity. i've been out for nearly a decade and never have i ever felt this much dysphoria and especially this much internalised exorsexism. i always considered myself lucky to not struggle with that too much but here we are. society has finally caught up with me. you can be all condescending and tell me all about "getting into the real world" and how it doesn't accommodate for nonbinary people all you want, how we're asking for too much and act like i'm a naive child who doesn't know the world, how the systemic erasure of nonbinary people is a privilege, idc anymore. so yeah i'm gonna take a little break. as for asks and submissions, keep 'em coming, i'll get to them eventually.

[describe-things]

I post these in the hopes that maybe someday nonbinary people who are not transmasculine or transfeminine or whatever the next Brand New Progressive This Time Gender Binary will be in the next five years will actually have our voices heard and respected by the rest of the trans community, instead of constantly being erased and told that we're the reason conservatives hate trans people.

It's May 2025. Pride month starts in 16 days. You'd think we wouldn't have to keep asking for the bare minimum level of inclusion in conversations that affect us, but you'd be wrong.

The only nonbinary people the trans community even remotely respects are transfeminine and transmasculine people, and even they don't even get real respect. But at least they get to have their existence acknowledged on posts claiming to be about uplifting the most invisible trans people.

But we're so invisible we don't even get the privilege of being mentioned in passing, even by the most seemingly progressive people talking about trans issues.

If you think saying "trans men and transmascs and trans women and transfems" is you including the entire trans community, you are admitting you only see nonbinary people as trans if we force ourselves back into the gender binary that makes you so comfortable.

It's May 15 2025, 16 days until Pride Month begins, and I just had to see someone respond to a post about not excluding nonbinary people by saying that nonbinary people who want to be included are, and I directly literally quote, "the reason grandpa can't keep up with all the different term changes."

So.

Before Pride Month actually gets here, how about everyone, cis women, cis men, trans women, trans men, transfems, transmascs, how about you all please just take five minutes to think about the nonbinary people who do not fit into any of those categories and please actually take the time to remind yourself that we exist, and do your part to not actively exclude us from the community we have always been apart of and always will.

Are you trying to talk about the whole trans community? You need to just flat out say "nonbinary people". Not "transfem and transmasc nonbinary people" they are already included when you say transfems and transmascs.

You need to actually care about those of us who have nothing to do with the gender binary. You need to acknowledge us. You need to care about us. You need to listen to us.

If you do not care enough to just say "nonbinary people" when you're claiming to support the entire trans community, please just actually think about why that is. Ask yourself why you think we don't need to be included.

Ask yourself why the only nonbinary people you'll even pretend to include are the ones who are willing to fit into the gender binary.

Please just actually try to care about the rest of us too.

You are encouraged to download these and share them to other sites / blogs as long as you copy and paste the image description too. Including the part describing the flag. You should always describe the pride flag involved in art instead of just listing the name. It will always be someone's first time encountering it.

[ID: The progress trans flag, with text in front reading, "You still have to include nonbinary people in the conversation even when we aren't transfeminine or transmasculine". The progress trans flag has eight horizontal stripes of: Purple, black, blue, pink, white, yellow, black, and brown. In the center is a gold circle with rings of purple and black around it. End ID.]

[ID: The same flag, now reading, "If the only trans people you stand up for are trans men, transmascs, trans women, and transfems...you're abandoning so many nonbinary people to fend for ourselves". End ID.]

[ID: The same flag, now reading, "If you can't even bring yourself to say the words 'nonbinary people' you have no right to say you care about all trans people". End ID.]

[ID: The same flag, now reading, "You have to care about all nonbinary people, not just the ones who are transmasculine or transfeminine". The words 'all nonbinary people' are underlined for emphasis. End ID.]

[ID: The same flag, now reading, "Nonbinary people should not have to force ourselves back into the closet just to get you to acknowledge our existence". End ID.]

[ilovedthestars]

A thought I’ve been having: While it's important to recognize the long history of many current queer identities (and the even longer history of people who lived outside of the straight, cis, allo “norm”) I think it's also important to remember that a label or identity doesn't have to be old to be, for lack of a better word, real.

This post that i reblogged a little while ago about asexuality and its history in the LGBTQ+ rights movement and before is really good and really important. As i've thought about it more, though, it makes me wonder why we need to prove that our labels have "always existed." In the case of asexuality, that post is pushing back against exclusionists who say that asexuality was “made up on the internet” and is therefore invalid. The post proves that untrue, which is important, because it takes away a tool for exclusionists.

But aromanticism, a label & community with a lot of overlap & solidarity with asexuality, was not a label that existed during Stonewall and the subsequent movement. It was coined a couple decades ago, on internet forums. While the phrasing is dismissive, it would be technically accurate to say that it was “made up on the internet.” To be very clear, I’m not agreeing with the exclusionists here—I’m aromantic myself. What I’m asking is, why does being a relatively recently coined label make it any less real or valid for people to identify with?

I think this emphasis on historical precedent is what leads to some of the attempts to label historical figures with modern terminology. If we can say someone who lived 100 or 1000 years ago was gay, or nonbinary, or asexual, or whatever, then that grants the identity legitimacy. but that's not the terminology they would have used then, and we have no way of knowing how, or if, any historical person's experiences would fit into modern terminology.

There's an element of "the map is not the territory" here, you know? Like this really good post says, labels are social technologies. There's a tendency in the modern Western queer community to act like in the last few decades the "truth" about how genders and orientations work has become more widespread and accepted. But that leaves out all the cultures, both historical and modern, that use a model of gender and sexuality that doesn't map neatly to LGBTQ+ identities but is nonetheless far more nuanced than "there are two genders, man and woman, and everyone is allo and straight." Those systems aren’t any more or less “true” than the system of gay/bi/pan/etc and straight, cis and trans, aro/ace and allo.

I guess what I’m saying is, and please bear with me here, “gay” people have not always existed. “Nonbinary” people have not always existed. “Asexual” people have not always existed. But people who fell in love with and had sex with others of the same gender have always existed. People who would not have identified themselves as either men or women have always existed. People who didn’t prioritize sex (and/or romance) as important parts of their lives have always existed. In the grand scheme of human existence, all our labels are new, and that’s okay. In another hundred or thousand years we’ll have completely different ways of thinking about gender and sexuality, and that’ll be okay too. Our labels can still be meaningful to us and our experiences right now, and that makes them real and important no matter how new they are.

We have a history, and we should not let it be erased. But we don’t need a history for our experiences and ways of describing ourselves to be real, right now.

[proudnb]

Being out, proud, and obnoxiously nonbinary is immensely important right now.

Hateful people want to scare us into hiding and invisibility, and some of us will have to comply.

So be out for those who can't. Remind the world that nonbinary people exist. Make it clear that our enemies are taking rights away from real people.

We are here to stay.

[cultkinkcoven]

really can’t stand people who refuse to even try with neopronouns or understand therians because to my autistic brain it is so fucking simple and I feel like it’s actually everyone else that are over complicating shit.

We came up with a couple terms to describe a couple ideas of self. He, she, they. I don’t use neos, but I do use he and they. I use he because I am masculine aligned and I use they because I am also nonbinary and not entirely masc. I don’t have any feelings towards myself that do not feel human.

But some of our gendered pronouns aren’t even enough, and on the realest note, my gender is probably somewhere between boy slut and freak, but I usually just keep that to myself. If someone feels like these words aren’t specific enough to them, fuck yeah make another one. Are you kidding me? You explored your own identity enough to have come up with a special custom term that perfectly describes you? That’s so fucking cool dude.

If a neurodivergent person with CPTSD feels extremely inhuman because of their psychology/ trauma or real world experiences with discrimination, (wow you mean the person everyone treats differently doesn’t feel very human?! that’s crazy!) but they do however have a very easy time relating and communicating with cats through their nonverbal social cues, if they feel comfortable and expressive wearing a tail and ears, and think of themselves as “cat”, okay??? cool? Cat is a homie, tf. Why wouldn’t I want to be friends with cat, cat seems to know how to have fun.

If a neurodivergent person with DID has multiple altars that are littles, and because of some experience, they experience their little as an animal, a puppy, or baby bird, …. okay??? cool??? I’m not really in any kind of position to tell chick that chick can’t fucking exist, and honestly it’s really none of my business how a system manages their littles. “oh they’re probably mentally ill” okay??? And perhaps they are? They’re still living are they not? They still exist, yes? So am I going to go out of my way to make their existence more difficult? I don’t really see the point!!!

If a neurodivergent person with antisocial personality disorder has never felt connected to humanity whatsoever and simply does not want to be referred to by human terms, it’s really not my place to debate about it.

It doesn’t even have to be that serious. You’ve always identified strongly with fairies? Be a fucking fairy dude. No one can stop you. You feel like you’re an elf? Okay! No one can control you, you are whatever the fuck you are regardless of how anyone feels. You can reinvent yourself tomorrow. Why tf not.

Is it really that hard to dynamically adapt language? Like, when people tell me they don’t know how they could possibly use xi xim or xe xer (pronounced with a Z) in a sentence, it tells me that they literally have a lower capacity for learning language. Like they’re not smart enough to apply pronoun grammatical rules to new words, they can’t even fathom the concept of a new word because they somehow believe that words aren’t made up by people but just pop magically into existence. You don’t have to get neopronouns but if you’re telling me you seriously cannot figure it out, I’m genuinely going to think you’re slightly dumb (unless you’re dyslexic, you get a pass I know it’s rough out here for y’all lmao)

It’s not that I think every case of neopronouns is easily explainable and super simple, because it doesn’t even have to be.

It’s more so that, with 7 billion fucking humans on this planet, it’s really not a surprise to me that some of them express their identity through non human terms. As someone with autism I can understand that, even if I don’t feel the exact same. There is always going to be some weird person who goes by knife/knives or bun/bunny. Im kind of just happy they’ve found something they can feel comfortable within. I genuinely cannot bring myself to care enough to argue with someone about it.

The whole “so I can identify as an attack helicopter?” thing is so stupid because if you were being genuine you could identify as a damn fighter jet. But y’all ain’t ready for that conversation because everyone who is passionate is too cringe for y’all to handle.

[lastoneout]

I will never understand anyone being upset when a queer person realizes they aren't one identity and are in fact another. Like people who get mad when lesbians come out as trans men, or when gay people find out they're bi or pan sexual or vice-versa, or ace or aro people realize they're lesbians or gay or bi, or bi/gay/lesbians come out as aroace, or trans women decide they're more comfortable as a masc enby or trans men decide they're actually feme enbies, or nonbinary people decide they're more binary trans like what is the problem here!!

That excitement when someone comes out for the first time should carry over for every shift after, how could you possibly be unhappy when a queer person finds a different label that makes them feel more happy and understood and free, queer people suffer so much already we should be OVERJOYED when one of us becomes even happier!! Hell we should even be happy when someone tries out a queer identity but realizes they're actually cishet but now have a better understanding of themselves!! Those are our allies!! I am happy when people are happy goddamnit!!

If you are queer and scared to embrace a new identity because you think the queer people around you will reject you or feel betrayed, one those people are NOT your friends, your real friends will be happy when you become more yourself than you were before, and two I AM HAPPY FOR YOU! YOUR JOY IS SO IMPORTANT TO ME!! YOU DESERVE TO LIVE A LIFE THAT IS YOURS!!! DON'T GIVE UP ON THINGS THAT MAKE YOU HAPPIER FOR THE SAKE OF OTHER PEOPLE!!!!

A lesbian coming out as a trans man is GOOD, more trans people in the world is FANTASTIC!! A bi or pan person coming out as gay is good, that's one more happy gay person!! A trans man or woman realizing they're happier being nonbinary is great, how could you be upset by more nonbinary people existing!! A nonbinary person discovering their actually a woman or man is great, MORE TRANS PEOPLE <3 like goddamn!! If this kind of thing upsets you idk I hope you get better.

[genderqueerdykes]

the easiest way to tell if someone knows literally jack shit about lesbian history & community is if they try to tell you masc, male, ftm, genderfluid, multigender, genderqueer and/or non binary lesbians don't and can't exist. it's saying you haven't interacted with the lesbian community & its history outside of small isolated internet circles without ever having to even say it. you might claim that lesbians can't be men, mascs, multigender or non binary, but our history & community loudly and proudly states otherwise.

no matter how many times you tell people transmasculine, male, masc, genderfluid, genderqueer and nonbinary lesbians can't be lesbians, we will always be here to prove that's not the case. you can say it until you're blue in the face, it won't change reality. it doesn't matter what you believe a lesbian "should" be, it will never change reality. ideals don't work like that. you can think and think and think about what you Want a lesbian to be all day long, but that doesn't control anyone else who identifies as a lesbian.

you can sit there and bitch and moan and cry about how lesbianism is for women ONLY and that won't change our rich history of male, genderfluid, genderqueer, ftm, masc and genderfucked lesbians. no matter how much it pisses you off that these people exist, we will continue to do so for the rest of time. you can throw a fit, but it doesn't change how people identify in practice. sure you can sit there and say the Ideal lesbian is a 100% cis woman, but we don't live in an ideal world. we don't live in an isolated bubble

real life is complex and nuanced. you can sit there and spitball about queer theory all you want, but it's not going to change how complicated real identities are. it doesn't matter if it bugs you that there are lesbians out there that aren't women. what should be more important is caring about that person and making sure they're accepted. someone who is more invested in telling you what lesbians CAN'T be than what we CAN be is not here for queer COMMUNITY. they're here to try to be right and die on a hill and it's not worth our time. "lesbians can't ever be men ever" is not a hill to die on. it's historically inaccurate and it's just not worth stressing over. move on to greener pastures.

you personally as a lesbian don't like the idea of a lesbian man and don't want to date them? i have fantastic news for you: you don't have to! you can accept lesbian men and mascs even if you're not attracted to them. whether or not someone's identity is taken seriously shouldn't hinge on whether or not you personally are attracted to them. that's not your business, and not your experience. you're not the arbiter of that lived experience- you have no room to comment.

lesbian men, mascs & enbies are not your enemy: we are your family. we have been fighting for lesbian rights since the inception of the modern community. this community has been built off the backs of ftm, transmasc and male dykes and you can't ignore us any longer. if YOU want to be in the lesbian community, you have to understand that there will be people with identities you don't like. you don't have the right to tell them they're not a lesbian. it doesn't matter whether or not YOU like it- their identity is not about you.

[duckprintspress]

Celebrate Eid al-Fitr with 6 Queer Muslim Reads

Eid Mubarak! Ramadan is ending, and Eid al-Fitr is beginning, and we’re celebrating with a modest list of queer books with Muslim characters. The contributors to the list are: Meera S., Linnea Peterson, Nina Waters, and Adrian Harley.

We Have Always Been Here: A Queer Muslim Memoir by Samra Habib

How do you find yourself when the world tells you that you don’t exist? Samra Habib has spent most of their life searching for the safety to be themself. As an Ahmadi Muslim growing up in Pakistan, they faced regular threats from Islamic extremists who believed the small, dynamic sect to be blasphemous. From their parents, they internalized the lesson that revealing their identity could put them in grave danger. When their family came to Canada as refugees, Samra encountered a whole new host of bullies, racism, the threat of poverty, and an arranged marriage. Backed into a corner, their need for a safe space–in which to grow and nurture their creative, feminist spirit–became dire. The men in Samra’s life wanted to police them, the women in their life had only shown them the example of pious obedience, and their body was a problem to be solved. So begins an exploration of faith, art, love, and queer sexuality, a journey that takes them to the far reaches of the globe to uncover a truth that was within them all along. A triumphant memoir of forgiveness and family, both chosen and not, We Have Always Been Here is a rallying cry for anyone who has ever felt out of place and a testament to the power of fearlessly inhabiting one’s truest self.

Hijab Butch Blues by Lamya H

When fourteen-year-old Lamya H realizes she has a crush on her teacher–her female teacher–she covers up her attraction, an attraction she can’t yet name, by playing up her roles as overachiever and class clown. Born in South Asia, she moved to the Middle East at a young age and has spent years feeling out of place, like her own desires and dreams don’t matter, and it’s easier to hide in plain sight. To disappear. But one day in Quran class, she reads a passage about Maryam that changes everything: when Maryam learned that she was pregnant, she insisted no man had touched her. Could Maryam, uninterested in men, be . . . like Lamya? From that moment on, Lamya makes sense of her struggles and triumphs by comparing her experiences with some of the most famous stories in the Quran. She juxtaposes her coming out with Musa liberating his people from the pharoah; asks if Allah, who is neither male nor female, might instead be nonbinary; and, drawing on the faith and hope Nuh needed to construct his ark, begins to build a life of her own–ultimately finding that the answer to her lifelong quest for community and belonging lies in owning her identity as a queer, devout Muslim immigrant.

Hani and Ishu’s Guide to Fake Dating by Adiba Jaigirdar

Everyone likes Humaira “Hani” Khan—she’s easy going and one of the most popular girls at school. But when she comes out to her friends as bisexual, they invalidate her identity, saying she can’t be bi if she’s only dated guys. Panicked, Hani blurts out that she’s in a relationship…with a girl her friends absolutely hate—Ishita “Ishu” Dey. Ishu is the complete opposite of Hani. She’s an academic overachiever who hopes that becoming head girl will set her on the right track for college. But Ishita agrees to help Hani, if Hani will help her become more popular so that she stands a chance of being elected head girl. Despite their mutually beneficial pact, they start developing real feelings for each other. But relationships are complicated, and some people will do anything to stop two Bengali girls from achieving happily ever after.

Tell Me How You Really Feel by Aminah Mae Safi

Sana Khan is a cheerleader and a straight A student. She’s the classic (somewhat obnoxious) overachiever determined to win. Rachel Recht is a wannabe director who’s obsesssed with movies and ready to make her own masterpiece. As she’s casting her senior film project, she knows she’s found the perfect lead – Sana. There’s only one problem. Rachel hates Sana. Rachel was the first girl Sana ever asked out, but Rachel thought it was a cruel prank and has detested Sana ever since. Told in alternative viewpoints and inspired by classic romantic comedies, this engaging and edgy YA novel follows two strongwilled young women falling for each other despite themselves.

DeadEndia by Hamish Steele

Barney Guttman’s life has been turned upside down. His family is struggling to fully embrace his trans identity, but thanks to his best friend Norma, he’s just landed a job at Phoenix Parks, a Dollywood-esque amusement park inspired by the long life and career of mysteriously youthful actress and singer Pauline Phoenix. Soon, Barney and his dog, Pugsley, secretly move into the haunted house attraction. Little does Barney know, the house contains a portal to the demonic planes of Hell. When Courtney, Barney’s devilish new roommate, invites a demon king to Earth through the portal, they offer Barney and Norma as flesh vessels for the king, but in a strange twist, Pugsley is possessed instead! It’s a race through the park to save Pugsley—and the world—from the demon king’s reign of terror that leaves Pugsley with strange and magical side effects. With all of this chaos going on, Barney is also discovering he has crush on park employee, Logan, so he must face his biggest fear of all… talking to someone he likes. Follow the lives of this diverse group of friends in this hilarious and moving graphic novel series, complete with talking pugs, vengeful ghosts, and first love.

Shubeik Lubeik by Deena Mohamed

Shubeik Lubeik–a fairytale rhyme meaning “Your Wish is My Command” in Arabic–is the story of three characters navigating a world where wishes are literally for sale; mired in bureaucracy and the familiar prejudices of our world, the more expensive the wish, the more powerful and therefore the more likely to work as intended. The novel’s three distinct parts tell the story of three first class wishes as used by Aziza, Nour, and Shokry, each grappling with the challenge inherent in trying to make your most deeply held desire come true.

What are YOUR favorite Queer Muslim books? (We definitely need some recs ourselves!)

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[shippofuri]

Thoughts on Lycion's identity, species, gender. (CW: mentions of internalized transphobia)

as someone who is trans and has species dysphoria (and whose transness is intrinsically linked to species dysphoria, the human female form being too exaggeratedly human to feel comfortable in) it feels a bit odd when people exclusively discuss Lycion's body dysmorphia as exclusively a trans allegory (which is a perfectly reasonable read! but it can be more than that...) seemingly without much awareness that people who are like him, and especially trans people who are like him in a more literal sense exist... So I figure, as one of those people, I might give some observations on Lycion, along with some anecdotes of my own experience and how it parallels it, how his characterization reflects real-world struggles- both literally and as a trans narrative, and why I appreciate characters like him so much.

What is fascinating (but also so relatable!) to me, both when viewed in a literal sense and as a trans allegory, is that Lycion does not actually have a particular affinity to another species, but rather feels a visceral discomfort with his own elven body.

We even see in his raceswap portraits, Lycion is visibly happier as anything but an elf. Unlike Laios, who wants to become a monster, Lycion doesn't want to become anything in particular, he simply wants to stop being an elf.

Most depictions of transgender characters in media are focused on the idea of wanting to become something. Feeling in your heart you were always meant to be a boy or a girl or perhaps some secret third thing. Having a specific goal. What is less often depicted is the experience of I don't want to be what i was born as, I'd rather be anything else but this. anything is better than this. And, in both my struggles with gender and with my own humanity, this has been my experience!

Of course, there are a great many creatures I look at and think "I would be much happier if i were one of them", but those feelings are broader and less pressing than the overwhelming discomfort with my own body, and the desire to be less human. I aspired to masculinity and ultimately pursued transition not out of a particular affinity with any idea of maleness, but because masculine human features, to me, appear more animalistic, less of a strange naked thing that sticks out like a sore thumb in the grand scheme of things. And so too did Lycion pursue becoming a beastman, not because he felt a particular affinity with being a wolf, but because it would make him less of an elf.

And after pursuing it, even though he still has to spend much of his time as an elf, Lycion is far more comfortable, no longer nihilistic and self-destructive. He's confident, prideful even! He has a body that doesn't feel wrong, even if he can only wear it sometimes.

And, myself having been on HRT for nearly four years now, i have to say my experience has been much the same! Even though, of course, I'm still human, my dysphoria has essentially been eliminated, I feel comfortable in my body, and I genuinely like the way I look. I admire my reflection and find joy even in the changes that i was merely indifferent to the possibility of when beginning my treatment, and it even eased some issues completely unrelated to gender...!

Finally, Laios' dismissal of Lycion's identity here feels very reminiscent of people casting doubt on a trans (most often nonbinary) individual's identity due to transitioning for what they view as "the wrong reason", even at times arguing that only people who meet their personal standard for transness should be allowed access to transition. And like with Laios, who himself wishes to become a monster, these arguments are often coming from within, from others in the trans community.

Is someone who identifies as male because they don't want to be female less justified in their desire to pursue transition than someone who doesn't want to be female because they identify as male...? Should people be denied the right to feel comfortable in their own skin because they are seeking to escape something, rather than reaching for something specific...? Of course, you know what my answer is, but I digress.

[a-polite-melody]

“Omg the transandrobros trying to make autoandrophilia (AAP) a thing are so transmisogynistic. They see the transmisogynistic theory of autogynephilia (AGP) and say ‘how can I make this about me?’ There’s nothing here to reclaim for you, you’re just stealing valour from transmisogyny.”

Way to just make a bunch of assumptions.

There absolutely is a concept that’s been weaponized against gay transmascs from medical bs around transition (it was basically impossible for lesbian transfems, as well as gay transmascs, to transition in the US at least until the 1980s; look up Lou Sullivan for more on that) to social media callouts, dogpiles, and doxxings. It is a concept that doesn’t have a formalized name like AGP (though a quick google search shows that prominent people who speak about AGP have been using AAP in conjunction with AGP since 2009) but is a concept which is similar to that of AGP and used in some similar ways against transmascs as AGP is against transfems.

One place you can very easily find this attitude (to go back to the stuff about social media, though there are implications beyond the scope of just social media here) is baked into the transmed “criticism” of gay/mlm transmascs/AFAB nonbinary people which featured (unfortunately) pretty prominently in the tumblr trans world for a long time, and while it may not be nearly as prominent now, it’s still around and easy to find if you look specifically for transmed stuff. Hell, it moved out of transmed spaces and became a tumblr-wide phenomenon of harassing (and worse) the “fujoshis”—these gross women who were so fetishistic of gay men and into gay fanfic and bl manga they deluded themselves into thinking they’re the gay boys in their favourite anime—in the name of protecting the trans community and the gay community from these infiltrators and walking conversion therapy fakebois.

I denied that I was transmasc for so long because I was worried that this “phenomenon of delusional women tricking themselves into thinking they’re men to absolve themselves the guilt of being fetishistic creeps toward gay men, reinforced by encouraging each other into the delusions” was an actual, real thing I needed to worry about, and that I might have been falling into this trap.

I worried, because the world was telling me that this (though not called the phrase) AAP phenomenon existed at the same time as when I had to actually like… actually fully delve into learning about the LGBTQ+ community after realizing I was bi to even know that being trans in a way that was something other than MTF even existed. It made more sense to me that I, while actively trying not to, was actually internally fetishizing gay men and falling into delusions than it did for me to be transmasc, because being transmasc seemed like hardly even a thing while the problem of these “fujoshis” seemed like something huge.

But yes. Absolutely nothing to reclaim here. Only wanting to steal valour from trans women and be big huge transmisogynists by making trans women’s problems into our own, not talking about any actual problems transmascs actually have because we don’t have those kinds of problems because some dumbass on the internet says so. (/this whole paragraph is sarcasm)

[relaxxattack]

I humbly request your dave nonbinary thoughts, we may not be ready but I want to know, I want to be enlightened

okay so here’s the thing.

dave strider is a closeted and repressed queer boy in 2009.

in the culture at the time (especially on the internet where he basically grew up) "gay" is used as a catch-all for basically all things evil, stupid, and wrong. as kids grow up they learn that— because patriarchal privilege is something you can lose the second you’re not performing your masculinity to an insane degree— being gay makes you not a real man. being gay means you’re an effeminate little freak, a subversion, a pervert. something to be scorned and taught a lesson. which is terrifying to these kids.

on top of all this, dave is being abused daily in the name of becoming a real man a hero. his ultimate example of heroism is a hypermasculine freak who physically, mentally, and sexually abuses him. of course dave doesn’t want to do introspection into the idea of liking men. just being a man is a burdenous ideal, and the sexuality of men is something that has been consistently used to harm him.

that’s where we come to the meteor trip. dave seems to be of the opinion that because earth is long gone, a lot of those restrictive social conventions should be gone as well— especially things like toxic masculinity, and gayness as a complete “other” that you have to “turn” to; he claims (correctly) that a lot of these restrictive social boxes are imaginary lines built by prejudice, and less absolute then people assume.

so, dave does not subscribe to the idea of hard labels.

it’s important for him to reclaim the idea of gayness, of course. dave has been agonizing over that for the entirety of the comic. his own sexuality is something that terrifies him, to the point where he cannot even manage to date women he actually likes. even if he really is truthfully interested in women, he cannot really handle that until he’s finally come to terms with himself as “gay”. (which is why i don’t think dave would use the term bisexual. even if he does know what that means, that’s not the word he’s been terrified of embracing for the past 16 years. dave strider is gay. his entire arc revolves around accepting this.)

but i think if dave was contemplating gender as much as he was contemplating sexuality on that trip, he would come to a similar conclusion about labels. and besides, masculinity isn’t exactly something that he’s had a positive relationship with.

this is why i think he’d be some form of nonbinary or agender. dave calls himself gay because of his hard-earned reclamation of that word, not specifically because he is never interested in women. i think if he were to call himself a guy, it would be along those same lines.

(i could also go on a tangent about dave’s existence as a hussie self insert and his arc and dialogue with these concepts as a reflection of someone who eventually came out as agender, but this post is long enough as it is)

basically, gay nonbinary dave strider. he’s real.