#not a wizard post

[im-a-wizard-who-dont-crime]

I'm going to start responding to posts on tumblr (that aren't screenshots. Just normal text posts) with "you would do numbers on tumblr"

[whimsical-wizard]

im finally at a point in my life where im in a group chat called "transgender furry faggots"

it gets better, guys!

/srs

[emo-space-wizard]

One thing you should know about me is that if you invite me to your wedding I will be there. Do not make the mistake of thinking "oh he's in another country we'll invite him to be polite but we don't need to budget for him." Wrong. I will attend. I will sample your wedding cake and bust it down sensitive style on your reception dance floor. I will make friends with every other thread in the beautiful tapestry of your intertwined lives. I love you and thank you for inviting me and I will be there to celebrate with you no matter what.

[vexum-the-diviner]

I had tried to sleep once more but I guess a demon fucking ate my dream so I half dreampt about war in a land of pure greyness whilst pretty much not sleeping and now I feel like shit and crave a fruit salad

[redavexat]

[wizardofthepit]

Come and sit by the fire. Soup will be ready soon.

OH FUCK

[telltaletypist]

look all i'm saying is if you've ever seen someone be healed with magic, congratulations! you've witnessed a practitioner of necromancy. it's the exact same thing. all you're doing at a fundamental level is using magic to accelerate existing biological processes and animate tissue, the only difference is when you do it to dead tissue instead of living tissue, suddenly it's evil scary ~dark magic~ instead of good wholesome healing. it's purely cultural bias.

so no i don't think it's fair to say i "lied on my application" since i'm just as qualified as anyone to heal your party, but hey if you want to be a fucking narc and report me to the wizard council go right ahead. good luck finding an accredited healer at the wages you're offering by the way

[im-a-wizard-who-dont-crime]

I made a new uquiz

[whimsical-wizard]

i love trans women. love them love drinking baja blasts with them love it all

[devious-buffoon]

Shit man, this wizard war is fucked. I just saw a guy clap his hands together and say "the ten hells" or some similar shit, and every one around him turned inside out, had their tibia explode and then disappeared. The camera didn't even go onto him, that's how common shit like this is. My ass is casting frostbite and level 2 poison. I think I just heard "power word:scrunch" two groups over. I gotta get the fuck outta here.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

I love you Safety Wizard.

(Inspired by @keroascrazy)

[ryttu3k]

Does everyone know there is now a mod that exists solely to give Gale hayfever?

Because there is now a mod that exists solely to give Gale hayfever.

[hamletthedane]

I'm too much of a sucker for the tragedy of Wicked's ending to take any of this seriously, but the funniest possible fix-it concept is that Glinda just. Does not know. How the fuck. To send this 12yo back to Kansas. Like why the hell would she know how to do that?? Who thought it was a good idea to leave her in charge of this???

And from Dorothy's POV, this is such a funny concept: imagine for a minute that you (a child) wake up in a Fairy-Land, become best friends with a (possibly mentally unstable?) talking scarecrow, and are told by the god-kind that you must go murder his political rival before he'll send go home. Fine. This might as well happen.

And when you return from said murder - which is somehow successful - it turns out the god-king is a fraud and cannot help you. Whoops. Well, how about the OTHER seemingly most powerful person in the country? Ah, no....it turn out she had pretty limited powers in the magic department. And they're mostly bubble-related.

So she takes you (by bubble) to a tiny seaside town on the edge of the map to seek the help of her most powerful friends….the woman you just murdered and your scarecrow best friend who was an accomplice to that murder. And apparently, they’ve all three been dating since undergrad.

I mean, what do you even do with that.

[salmonella-destroyer-of-worlds]

[wizard-of-weed]

just because music isnt playing doesnt mean im not listening to it