#not joking...

[hai7ani]

yves, bestie. i’m gonna need more of this loser virgin rindou x single mother. like him getting with her?? oof. homie losing his mind just touching her. 😭 absolutely tweaking tf out.

collection

Oh I think he likes calling to check up on you. Comes over with food and maybe pizza sometimes because your son loves the one he buys at his usual pizza place. Plays lego with your kid while you go on a work call or shower and Yuzuha's just sitting at the dining table eating the leftovers with a towel wrapped around her head.

It's cozy most nights. On some when it's just you and him and your son's asleep and Yuzuha's not home you like taking the time to know who he is while you turn the TV on for some noise. There's a lot to know about him. Technically he is doing music as a side hustle because it earns less than his main income (a liquor store staff) but he works the job anyway to fund his hobby and it's respectable, you think. He has an older brother who's studying accounting in Keio and he was supposed to attend the same university majoring in data science but he's said that things don't always work out for him.

He had eczema when he was younger and would always scratch on the spots that has left scars all over his skin. You inch closer to touch on it one night when he shows you, just out of curiosity, and you flinch at the way he flinches. He's red and fidgety and then he excuses himself to the bathroom. You feel bad. You think you'd overstep his boundaries and you want to apologise. He's a nice person who's helped you out countless times and you don't want things to be awkward.

He comes out with wet hands and his foggy glasses stuffed into his pocket. Doesn't speak about what happened and turns the volume up with the remote but he's sitting closer to you this time. He puts his phone face up and his screen lights up from a text message from a friend. His wallpaper is a photo of the sea. He leans forward to read it but he doesn't reply.

💬 Shion

yo

wanna go drinking

For some reason after seeing him like that you don't feel the need to say sorry anymore. You think it's fine. You ask if he wants more chips and when he nods you grab onto his knee to push yourself up. Sharp nails digging into his meat. Feeling his muscles tense beneath your palm. Ass in his face while you block the screen to fix your shirt and then walk away just like that.

He slides into the bathroom again when he thinks you're not looking.

[copepods]

i like working at plant store. sometimes you ring up someone and there's a slug on their plant and so you're like "Oh haha you've got a friend there let me get that for you" and you put the slug on your hand for safekeeping but then its really busy and you dont have time to take the slug outside before the next customer in line so you just have a slug chilling on your hand for 15 minutes. really makes you feel at peace with nature. also it means sometimes i get to say my favorite line which is "would you like this free slug with your purchase"

[redstonedust]

"tumblr humor is only funny to tumblr users" NOT true. those bitches on pinterest love us.

[deathtokillian]

10/10 dad joke

[androdragynous]

being on tumblr for a long time but never reading homestuck like

[minyicho]

starting a collection of my favourite AO3 author’s notes

honourable mentions

[cringecorp]

they say you can't pour from an empty cup but i've been doing it my whole life and aside from all of these mysterious ailments it's working out great for me

[lovelesswav]

[blondebrainpowered]

Mouse Armor by Jeff de Boer

Etsy Mouse armor necklace and earrings available as well as other work by Jeff de Boor.

[insomniac-arrest]

You can survive almost anything through the right combination of:

Bitching and moaning

Hater-ology

Doing a goofy little bit about it

Having a buddy say "that's so fucked up" at intermittent points (you can also be your own buddy)

Destroying the cursed amulet you carry everywhere, why do you even have that thing

[thedankmemes]

[werewolfetone]

[wizardnuke]

"skibidi toilet is ruining gen alpha" do none of you people remember asdf. i remember asdf.