#support needs

[cringecorp]

they say you can't pour from an empty cup but i've been doing it my whole life and aside from all of these mysterious ailments it's working out great for me

[queermystic]

Fundraiser

Another Month, another ebeg.

I'm a disabled enby taking care of my elderly disabled mother, and we're Homeless.

I'm looking for work and waiting on back pay from babysitting my sisters kids but until that's all sorted Moms SSI is our only stable income.

We've got a room at Motel 6 but we had to spend every cent of Moms check, leaving nothing for food and medicine.

Every little bit of help adds up even a reblog helps because the more people who see this post the more likely someone who can afford to help will see it.

If you cant help please dont feel bad I understand that it's a bad time for everyone, and if you can help please know how incredibly appreciated it would be.

PayPal / Ko-Fi

[autistic-stitch]

I think a lot of the misuse of support needs labels comes from people labeling their support needs based on what they need to thrive, not survive.

When I say "I can't live independently," what a lot of people hear is "It would be hard for me to live independently and my quality of life is improved by having a caregiver." But what I actually mean is "I would literally die if I was left on my own."

I don't get the support I need to thrive either. I'm barely holding on. But I need certain things to be able to just survive.

[zebulontheplanet]

Anyways.

Higher support needs disabled people needing help with things like eating, going to the bathroom, and showering isn’t gross or babyish.

It isn’t gross to have help showering, or using the bathroom, or any other bADL. Disabled people deserve not to be called gross for needing help with hygiene and things. Disabled people deserve to be seen as people if they need help with these things.

I’m a disabled person who needs help with showering, grooming, and sometimes eating (yes, physically getting the food from the fork to my mouth) and that doesn’t make me gross. That doesn’t make me babyish. That makes me a higher support needs adult. That makes me someone who needs help. Stop saying that these things are gross to need help with, or telling people that “you’re grown, you should be able to do this”. That isn’t helping anyone.

Especially with the autistic community constantly screaming about how we don’t need help with these things, when a lot of us do. A lot of us do need substantial help with bathing, grooming, and toileting. Some of us do need substantial help with all these things, and people need to realize that.

[auschizm]

I think what low support needs people get wrong when they feel invalidated by the terms low support needs vs high support needs is that they think "low support needs" implies "insignificant support needs/no support needs". But that's not what it means. Every disabled person has support needs. Just because they are on the low end compared to certain other disabled people's, that does not imply that they aren't real and valid. Someone else needing more support than you doesn't imply that your disability isn't a real disability

[five-thousand-loaves-of-bread]

on instagram autism post say replace “old ableist term” with new so-much-better terms: “low support needs ❌, inconsistent support needs ✅”

stg some you all so fragile & treat any sort of discomfort any sort of recognize own privilege own advantage, to dare consider self compare to entirety of disability, to decenter self get out own ass, as ableism as same as deny rights as same as abuse.

you think only people who have good n bad days = low support needs people, only low support needs people people with fluctuating needs between good & bad days, only low support needs people dynamic human with human experiences, only low support needs people are people.

bad news for you high support needs also have good day bad days we also have fluctuating days with fluctuating needs inconsistent support needs.

if YOU think your good day “exactly same” as our bad day (often times it not. not even close. there so much you don’t see & refuse see & pretend don’t see), then you know nothing about us, nothing about full range of autism, n you should shut up about it. n even if your good day actually “exactly same” as our bad day, we still not same. not in million years

would love make solidarity posts between support needs point out how low medium high support needs autism similar experiences but keep forced make these god awful posts instead. n guess who this harm most? US. HIGH SUPPORT NEEDS PEOPLE. us who can’t always (or at all) self advocate n communicate well. those of us who can a lil force spend time keep use our very limited energy n ability talk about this same issue.

but guess that the point isn’t it

[50044w44s]

Hey, i see that you're drowning. Here's some arm floaties, hope they help.

Oh, I see they are really helping huh?

"Why is that person using arm floaties? they're not drowning..."

I see that you're not drowning, you're doing good so I'm gonna take the arm floaties away from you. Wait, why are you drowning again? You were fine one second ago, you must be faking it.

"Can I please have some arm floaties?"

"But you haven't entered the pool yet."

"Yeah but I can't swim, I know that I can't swim, so some arm floaties would really help me not to drown."

"You're asking for arm floaties without even trying to swim, you're just lazy and you want more help than the others have, the others are doing just fine..."

"I don't need to get into the watter to know that I can't swim. You're telling me I can't have arm floaties unless I'm actively drowning? You won't give them to me even though I warned you I will drown?"

This post was never about arm floaties.

[incognitopolls]

We ask your questions anonymously so you don’t have to! Submissions are open on the 1st and 15th of the month.

[jadathel0ser]

Lets talk about the not so pleasant parts of Autism

This post is not to say that aren't good things about being autistic or that every autistic will have my experience. Let's just not forget that this is a disability that needs to be taken seriously no matter the person. Any autistic person is welcome to add on the the list.

I'll start with my struggles:

Violent meltdowns

Public meltdowns

VERY poor hygiene the the point of needing teeth removed and hair loss

Constant loneliness and felling depressed from it

Co-occuring conditions like personality disorders, ptsd, depression, psychosis, etc

Mourning the childhood and friends you never had

Blatant bullying

Feeling like you will never make your family proud

Rejected by family, society, medical system, literally everyone

Being taken advantage of (including SA)

Constantly putting yourself in danger

EDs and malnourishment from dietary habits

Knowing that others are purposely leaving you out

Being called homeless and other names for stimming and wearing comfy attire

Sensory issues make you feel like your skin wants to remove itself

Sensory issues making you miss important or fun events

Knowing that you may never be independent

Being belittled

Self injurious stims and low self esteem from it

Embarrassment 101

No privacy

Constant painful state of confusion

Being mocked for how you communicate

Fear of being judged for alternative forms of communication

Needing assistance to just maintain a healthy shower schedule

Having to follow very specific routines to the point of possibly putting yourself in danger if you don't follow them

...and these are just some things. This is the not so pleasant part of what I go through on a daily basis as an autistic. This list can go on forever because autism comes in many "shapes and sizes". Any autistics of any level, if you want, please add on to this list to show that autistic isn't a quirk and can have some seriously hard to live with sides.

[chrome-barkz-aac]

on the subject of driving and support needs:

it is huge that i can drive and have access to a car. that gives me a lot of freedom. but something i notice is that being able to drive is seen as the end all, be all of transportation as an iADL. when in fact, driving has a lot more things attached to it.

yes, i can drive. but can i maintain a vehicle?

not without help. i need help renewing my registration, managing my insurance and taking care of my car. i haven’t had windshield wiper fluid since 2022. i have gone years without renewing my registration bc it is just too damn hard for me.

yes, i can drive. but can i react well enough in a crisis or minor accident that i can get someone’s information?

no, i have been in one before because someone ran into me and i was so flustered i let it go when i should have gotten their insurance.

anyway, that’s obviously a very privileged take within the autism community but i feel like saying “i can drive” also assumes that i have the wherewithal to do the tasks that come with driving, if that is your main mode of transportation.

[doodlelives]

Something I don't see talked about a lot is how when assessing your support needs, looking at the things you are able to do in daily living, it isn't just about the task itself and your skills in theory to do them. I don't see people talk enough about the inability to do more than one or two tasks a day.

There are so many more things to take care of a day, certain periods of a week or month or year having increased responsibilities to take care of. These all accumulate.

I can independently vaccuum my room a bit and make an easy dinner or I can put the dirty laundry away and take a shower. I can't do all of these though. Some days I can't do even two tasks, some days I can do one or a few more ofc.

So, if I look at the list of ADLs it's easy to think "yes I can do these well enough" but in reality it's not that simple. I know how these tasks work, the skills to do them are in me. I don't have the energy or capacity to take care of them though. I can have meltdowns if I do more, my motor function can deteriorate and I'm dooming my ability to exist in peace the next hours or keep my abilities up for the next days.

It makes me feel like a fraud not seeing this considered (or at least not clearly enough for me to pick up it's implied)

[zebulontheplanet]

I think people have greatly watered down autism into this silly label or identity that they can collect.

I’ve seen multiple posts that defend that autism should be an identity, similar to how sexualities and gender labels are. I think they’re missing multiple things with this analogy. First, you cannot help your queerness. It’s not simply a “label” it’s your whole being. It’s who you are.

I want people to realize that autism is a serious disorder for over half of people diagnosed with autism. From more then 30% being higher support needs, to more than that having different comorbidities, it’s a serious disorder. Not only can it affect every aspect of your life, it can severely affect how your health is, how independent you are, etc.

To a lot of people autism isn’t “a silly label” it’s a disorder. A disorder that comes with comorbities, that affects how they speak or don’t speak, how they view the world, how the process or dont process things, etc.

Higher support needs people need to be recognized, and in turn you have to recognize the disorders that they have. You can’t ignore them. You can’t simply shrug it off as a silly little label or identity.

People deserve to have their life altering disorders taken seriously and not turned into something that’s shrugged off and seen as another add in the newspaper. Autism is serious. It’s a neurodevelopmental disorder. Say what it is. Don’t water it down.

That’s all.

[aacalienz]

I honestly get frustrated when low support needs people say that a professional diagnosis is a privilege. It’s true, but not in the way they think. Some of them are like “I need a professional diagnosis so I can finally get validation for myself and my needs.” But you don’t need a professional to validate you. I get why you want that, but you can validate yourself and take your own needs seriously. You don’t need a professional diagnosis for that.

Meanwhile there are people who desperately need a diagnosis for vital services and can’t get it due to cost. There are higher support needs autistic people who were visibly disabled as children who never got a diagnosis of autism or another developmental disability because of severe medical neglect.

I know people with higher support needs that have showed obvious signs of autism from VERY early childhood to the point schools repeatedly pointed it out. The parents never tested their children or listened to the schools’ concerns. I know a person with high support needs that was in and out of institutions their entire childhood and doesn’t have a diagnosis of autism because their adoptive parents hid or destroyed their medical records and tried to pretend they had a non disabled child.

These people are unable to get access to the services and supports they desperately need. They are left completely stuck. They can’t get disability benefits or paid support people because they don’t have a diagnosis. Most are only even alive because of a close partner takes care of them. If they had been diagnosed when they started showing obvious signs it would have been in early childhood or when they entered school.

A diagnosis isn’t a privilege for medium, high, and even some low support needs people. It’s a fucking necessity. When some medium and high support needs people don’t have a diagnosis they can die because they don’t have services and can’t care for themselves.

When a late diagnosed low support needs person who can mask very well and has a high paying white collar career doesn’t get a diagnosis they don’t get emotional validation and can’t wear headphones at work.

Ok I know that isn’t entirely accurate and I’m being harsh. I just want to show that the stakes are nowhere near the same. I know low support needs people struggle. But higher support needs people can literally die without support.

And when some people whine about “oh my precious validation” they miss the fucking point. They don’t understand how for lots of autistic people a diagnosis is the only way they can get support in any official way. When professional diagnosis is framed as a way to prove yourself right, instead of as a way to get services it hurts autistic people. Especially the most marginalized autistic people and autistic people who need a diagnosis out of necessity.

Also high support needs people who did get a diagnosis in early childhood are NOT privileged. The main reason they did get an early diagnosis is usually that their symptoms were so visibly disabling people couldn’t ignore it.

Calling a professional diagnosis a privilege feels like calling food or housing a privilege. Technically it is a privilege if you enough food because many don’t. But food is a RIGHT, not a privilege. Because it’s required for survival. For some autistic people a professional diagnosis is required for survival. So it’s not a privilege. It’s a right.

If anything making it until your 30s until anyone notices anything is wrong is the privilege. Because that means that your autism wasn’t causing a significant delay in milestones like talking, toileting or other activities. There may have still been some delays looking back, but they weren’t so obvious that everyone noticed and intervened.

So a professional diagnosis is necessary for lots of autistic people and framing it as a privilege makes it seem like it’s something you’re lucky if you have. But for many people a professional diagnosis is their only option. A diagnosis is a right. And people can die without one.

[chiropire]

A sentiment I see sometimes, mostly in the high masking level 1 LSN autistic community, is the disdain for all labels about how impaired you are, especially the autism levels and support needs.

A lot of what I see is people saying they're bad, there's no need for them and that they have no use, that they're basically functioning labels and ableist, that we shouldn't be comparing ourselves and each other, and that they somehow don't include high masking people.

None of these things are true, they ignore the fact that often these labels are self-identifiers, and honestly, I think when having discussions on terminology like autism levels and support needs, the voices of levels 2-3 and HrSN people need to be centred. We're the people who need these terms, we're the people who often depend on them to actually communicate our needs, so when people go around saying these terms are bad without having so much as an afterthought about us it is really upsetting and hurtful.

I've seen people say we don't need the terms because we can just explain the supports we need as if it was so easy to do so. Many of us have such complex needs that trying to explain them all the time isn't possible.