#or mentally denies it for a while

[bonnieisaway]

i love how there's a solid 10 seconds where you can see the fear in her eyes he just broke seven's sword as he is telling her how valuable it is and that she'd have to get it fixed

[cult-of-the-eye]

Ok listen, Gwen being killed off would be interesting because the rest of the OIAR would have to grapple with the grief and the underlying feeling of suspicion in the way she died. Like she'd be a warning that would be ignored and I think it would switch up the dynamics in a really cool way.

[melanorhynchus-side]

MY personal funniest X headcanon. He's totally sober compared to Ayin. Maybe has drank once or twice (the champagne with Angela), but has practically just worn his way out of the habit just from the sheer pressure of his obligations dominating any need to indulge himself. Good for him (?????)

[artekai]

*said while gripping the sink and covered in blood* only three days late :D

[hopeinthebox]

tagged by the tastemaker @cordiallyfuturedwight for the january receipts and would you believe it i'm actually on time

tagging a few favs: @aprylynn @jiminsproof @thvinyl @jimin-gaon @visionsofgideontheninth @btscontentenjoyer @kimchokejin @jihopesjoint @eoieopda @monismochi <333 and you too if you fancy it

[talentforlying]

@normaltothemax: Ooh meta about John and children. How he sees himself vs. how he actually is with them <3 — SEND META TOPICS.

oh he thinks he's horrendous with children. he thinks nobody in their right mind should ever let him look after a kid / spend time with their kids, because he's terrified about being a bad influence or turning his back at the wrong moment. even when he really makes an effort to do everything right by your most puritanical housewife's standards — no smoking, no swearing, no drinking, PG movies — he's always convinced that something's going to happen, some accident or tragedy that he won't be able to prevent, especially someone looking to get to him and using the kid or their family to do it. it's happened several times before, and it'll probably happen again. it's one of the reasons he can't really see himself being a dad, even though on some level i think he would have liked that. (in his new 52 verse with his daughter rose porter, he is very much a helicopter parent for this reason; he's always terrified of something happening to her because of his reputation.)

aside from the obvious life-or-death fears, he tends to feel out-of-place and clumsy and careless when he's around kids; he's someone who works best with a plan, even just the kernel of one, but around kids he's always improvising, with their clever questions and inane curiosities. he also has zero concept of what constitutes a normal response to an average question, most of the time, because it's not like he's lived a normal life; turns out the right answer to "sometimes i see a scary man in my closet" is not, in fact, "well he's probably dead, so."

in reality, he's mostly only a bad influence insofar as swearing and normalizing obscene amounts of cigarette-smoking; he's actually really fucking good with kids. he had an awful childhood and he remembers vividly all the ways he used to wish adults in his life would treat him, all the times he wanted a hand to hold or a hug; to inflict any kind of hardship on a child would mean he's become his father, and that's a fate worse than death to him. he's incredibly protective of kids, he's a genuinely good listener, and he communicates with them like they're adults (which isn't always a good thing, considering the way he communicates with other adults, but he doesn't condescend or brush them off). he's childish enough to know & engage with what they might consider fun, and he's always willing to risk embarrassment to play along with a game or coax out a smile. he would risk absolutely anything if it meant saving a kid's life, and he will ruin the existence of anyone who so much as thinks about hurting a child. (even though he has pushed the occasional snotty bastard into a duck pond before. he stuck around to make sure they could swim, though.)

now, the intersection of the two is this: sometimes he's so good with kids, and they like him so much, that they start to emulate him. which includes getting involved in the occult and starting down the same path he did when he was younger, with all the pitfalls and harsh learning curves and horrors that come with it. this is what happened with his niece gemma, and he regrets that every day of his life.

all things considered, his primary strategy towards dealing with children is that he doesn't. it's safer for them, and it's less stressful for him.

[kumomist]

intense insane staring into the distance and still crying over north no2

[break-me-open]

Me upon learning that I've been diagnosed with PTSD:

[artistic-gay-walrus]

anytime I think I'm a bad director I always tell myself I can't be worse than Stanley Kubrick❤️

[tate-lin]

hi hi Tate, happy STS!! how much have the themes you write about changed throughout your writing journey? what kind of things did you like to write in the past compared to now? did some of them stay the same?

Hiii Cee!! Wow that's such an interesting question: I def have to uno reverse it some day 👀

For JOA, the main question asked is what does it mean to be alive? My characters will approach this in different ways with their different life experiences, but the main themes that deal with it are choice, agency & acceptance.

I think this is quite different from stuff I used to write in the past. You know how some books (especially around a decade ago) tend to glorify self-sacrifice and love? Yeahh I used to think that way too, especially since I'm asian so we're a very collectivistic society that places importance on your community above yourself. While I don't think that's necessarily wrong, I do think that people take it too far sometimes. Now I think that your responsibility to others and your responsibility to yourself are both equally important.

If other people are important, then you can't diminish your own importance. Because you are people too.

TAGLIST

Let me know if you want to be added or taken off!

@justahalfling @ihaventpickedausername @andromeda-grace @kaiyo @iriswords @yors-truly @words-after-midnight @islanded-in-a-stream-of-stars @sabels-small-sphere @leebrontide @pure-solomon @mattresses-and-macaroni @thepixiediaries @sternenmeerkind @arowanaprincess @hd-literature @freedominique

[suckishima]

rrrrrrrrr im so frustrated with my writing. its just been weeks of struggle and whyyyy. idk i think i need to rework or rethink what im going for with this one or something, its like i can feel the threads of the themes i wanna do are sooo close to tying together but it just isnt quite reaching yet and so it reads like a stilted bland mess but the more i stare at it the further away it feels aaah

i know it can get there i kNOW it can, the ending and like aha moment is so cleaaaar that i think its almost too solid and thats why my beginning feels so fucked—like i just keep asking myself 'well if hes gonna get there in chapter 5, whats stopping him from getting there now in chapter 2??' i tHOUGHT i had reasons but now that im there i just keep instinctually writing him to have the connecting/realization moment anyway and like. if that's how it is then what even IS the story??? i need a break

[grandmagbignaturals]

tup had me just about yelling at my phone today

WHAT IS A NORMAL ANTARIS BEAR CHRISTINE

CHRISTINE????

[lonelyangelonlyangel]

i’m getting a tattoo this year in honor of my pregnancy in 2020 and i think i’ll post it here in lieu of sending it to my ex and telling him to go fuck himself forever

[aq2003]

my platonic relationships tags rn (ten/donna, miller/hardy, crona/maka, percy/keyleth, yasha/molly) are for the ones i specifically interpret as qprs but i am also severely tempted to go back and start up a ten and martha tag bc a) i'm kind of obsessed w them and b) the version of them that exists as toxic doomed qpps outside canon in my head is really really really funny even if there is exactly nobody that will understand this vision (and they should not, because this vision is completely deranged)

[loremonster]

I'd say the children of people who shouldn't have had kids.

Still, fully agreed.

we are the daughters of parents who should not have had kids

[kitcatttt]

undecided yet. if I disappear sometime next week I admitted myself to a mental hospital. don’t freak out.