#overusing inner dialogue
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oliveespineapples · 20 days ago
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I saw this tiktok the other day about how teachers can tell when a kid reads/writes fanfiction and I think it's safe to say I'm SO cooked
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heywriters · 7 months ago
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Rescued Writing Links!
When cleaning out the HEY, Writers! Pinterest I moved some links here. The internet has changed a LOT since I started collecting these, so some links may include outdated info. All were still active when I made this, but it's been in my drafts for a hot minute.
Protip! In Firefox, check to toggle reader view when reading these (mobile: the page icon in the url bar; desktop: same icon or hit F9). This removes popups, ads, screen clutter, and often has an audio option.
Survivors of Internet Decay Award!
These active sites featured most often in my collections so they get the top of the list.
Helping Writers Become Authors
Mythcreants
Bryn Donovan
Getting Started (Ideas & Intros)
How to Start Writing a Book: Learn One Writer’s Process | Marian Schembari
How to Start a Story: 30 Opening Scene Examples | Bryn Donovan
Don’t Panic! What to Do When You Have Too Many Story Ideas | Faye Kirwin
How to Write a Killer First Chapter | Rae Elliot
How To Write A Captivating Opening Sentence
Outlining
How to Create a Flexible Outline for Your Novel | Faye Kirwin
Protagonists
How to Write Believable Characters | Bridget McNulty
4 Ways to Write a Likable Protag at the Start of the Character Arc | KM Weiland
5 Tips for Writing a Likable "Righteous" Character | KM Weiland
I Hate Your Protagonist! Want to Know Why? | KM Weiland
The Secret to Writing Dynamic Characters: It's Always Their Fault | KM Weiland
A Protagonist’s Moment of Realisation
Antagonists
Blurring the Lines: What Are Anti-Heroes and Anti-Villains?
Antagonists: Inner & Outer Demons | Kristen Lamb
How to Write Multiple Antagonists | KM Weiland
Character Building
The Epic Guide to Character Creation, Part 1 | Kylie Day
Pick Up A Bad Habit | Maggie Maxwell
How To Write Characters from the Opposite Gender | Rachel Poli
Top 4 Tips for Using Backstory in Your Novel | Diana Anderson-Tyler
Depicting Background Characters | Chris Winkle
Scene Building
The 5 Elements Of A Good Scene | Amanda Patterson
A New Way to Think About Scene Structure | KM Weiland
2 Ways to Make the Most of Your Story’s Climactic Setting | KM Weiland
8 Things Writers Forget When Writing Fight Scenes | Lisa Voisin
Descriptions
Master List of Facial Expressions | Bryn Donovan
Master List of Words to Describe Voices | Bryn Donovan
Master List of Physical Description for Writers | Bryn Donovan
Writer’s Guide to Serious Injuries and Calamities | Bryn Donovan
How to Ground Your Reader (in the setting) | Rachel Craft
The Forgotten Fifth Sense | Writer's Relief
Never Name an Emotion in Your Story | KM Weiland
Show, Don't Tell: How to Write the Stages of Grief | Ruthanne Reid
100 Words for Facial Expressions
Dialogue
How To Write Good Dialogue: Ten Tips | Irving Weinman
Seven Dialogue Don’ts | Jason Bougger
10 Keys to Writing Dialogue in Fiction | Katherine Cowley
Points-Of-View (POV)
What Every Writer Ought to Know About the Omniscient POV | KM Weiland
Motivation & Support
What New Writers Need To Know About Fear | Bryan Collins
How to Discover Your Writing Process with Gabriela Pereira | Kirsten Oliphant
Editing & Revising
18 Overused Words to Replace When Writing | Oxford Tutoring
An Easy Way to Immediately Improve Your Character’s Action Beats | KM Weiland
Want More Depth to Your Writing? | Sacha Black
How Much is Too Much Backstory? | Ellen Brock
Why Your Writing Sounds Weird (And What You Can Do About It) | Joe Brock
Self-Editing for Fiction Writers | Jenny Bravo
Favorite Revision and Editing Tricks
Short Stories & Flashfic
How to Write a Story a Week: A Day-by-Day Guide | Emily Wenstrom
How Flash Fiction / Microfiction Can Help With Your Writing | Rhianne Williams
Worksheets & Downloads
Writing Worksheet Archive
If anyone out there loves making lists and wants to transport this to another site, you have every right to do so! Just let me know in a reblog so I can share it here again :)
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HEY! Writers' Links
Tip Jar! If you enjoy my blog and advice, support me on Ko-fi!🤗
Follow me on AO3 for fanfiction
Visit my Pinterest & Unsplash for visual inspiration
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la-gotica-fantasma · 4 months ago
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Nineteen writing tips I've picked up / been told -
~ ( Disclaimer : I am not telling you what to do or what you can and cannot do. Writing is personal, stylized, and a vessel for self-expression. Your writing is YOURS suga, and however you do it is beautiful. This post is just some advice I've found insightful, and maybe you could too. ᓚᘏᗢ ) ~
★ If you cannot tell if your story is connecting - read it out loud
★ If you have a really good idea, and you are practically itching to write it right now - then do !! Jot down that amazing idea and then connect all those frayed wires.
★ If you want the reader to be attached to a character - let that character be imperfect. Let them be selfish, overzealous, clumsy, or naive. / Let their good traits have bad days.
( examples include, but are not limited to; )
Savior-complex: Pushing too hard to help someone and hurting them more.
Patience: Being left high and dry.
High tolerance: Other characters overestimating their ability to tolerate anything.
Selfless: 'Character X' putting themselves after others to the point that 'Character Y ' has to forget about themselves to be able to keep 'Character X' afloat.
Bonding: Building an unhealthy reliance with one another.
★ If you want a character to be [emotionally] complex - let their emotions conflict. / Let morals be mixed into their dilemma (if they have one). / Try not to let the plot overshadow the characters inner conflict.
★ If you have a work in progress that you want to finish, but can't find motivation to - that's okay !! You're allowed to wait, and you're allowed to come back later with a bajillion ideas !!!
★ If you have plot holes - don't overwork yourself trying to getting rid of them !!! There are plot holes in stories that are TRUE, it'd be impossible to fix all plot holes.
★ If you are writing first person / thought - give their thought process a voice. How do they think? How do they structure their sentences? What phrases do they often use?
★ If you are writing stuttering, people rarely ever stutter "L-l-like..... T-t-this." - Stuttering is usually the repeating of the same part in a sentence, going back on it, like they're editing their sentence. / Space in between words, breathing, preparing. / Filler words !!! "Oh- I- I just-.. uhmm.. I was- I was just giving.. an example."
★ Don't 'CAPITALIZE' dialogue to show that they are yelling / shouting / screaming - we can convey yelling with how we phrase their speech, exclamation marks, etc.
★ Don't be afraid to make a character have hate for another character - nobody can like everybody. It can add personality and makes the character all the more realistic for the reader
★ Sensory details are always great to have in your work !!! But in action scenes - having less sensory detail is almost always more immersive.
"Why?", Because if a character is in an active sword fight with another character, their focus wouldn't be on the way the moonlight spills through the mesh curtains, or how their hand feels against the handle.
Putting those details before or after is so much more realistic and lets the reader grab and hang on to what you have to say, instead of a zip line with loose handlebars.
★ Don't be afraid to use tropes - it's not cheating in the slightest, you are the one writing it. Nobody else could've used the trope like you would. / You can use tropes to your advantage; readers find security in tropes, let the reader think "I see this often, they'll _____" and then totally 180 them.
★ Kill "Show. Don't tell." - you can do both !! It will be right either way, but always choosing one or the other disengages the reader from certain aspects.
★ Kill "Said is Dead" - you can lack the word "said" just as much as you can overuse it !!!
★ It isn't just about if a character coaxed, agreed, revealed, or proposed the dialogue. - It's also about how they did it. Was it soft? Sand papery? Rich? Confident? Hesitant?
★ Chaos doesn't solve 'everything' - but it solves a boatload.
★ Your story doesn't have to have a happy ending for the main character.
★ If a scene feels random or forced - check if you have motive for the scene
★ If you think of yourself as a bad writer, or you're self-conscious of your writing, remember - that no matter what, you will always be a better writer than Colleen Hoover.
~ ( Reminder : If you live by any of the things I mentioned, this is no hate to you. I am not shunning you, nor the way you write. Your current writing and your future growth is beautiful. But, if you like Colleen Hoover you can block me. ᓚᘏᗢ ) ~
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theliteraryarchitect · 5 months ago
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I’m a writer and I wanna ask for help! I’ve been writing better lately but I got stuck from my old habits of using too many “you”. I’m an x-reader fic writer and I’m redoing an old fic I’ve made two years ago. I’m actually writing the earliest chapters of my fic and I’m trying to write out the banal scenes of the daily dose of Y/N’s life. So far, I’ve actually improved greatly in my writing skills but I couldn’t help write too many “you”-s when I couldn’t make it detailed for the rest of the scenes.
How to Avoid Overusing "You" in X-Reader Fiction
Hey there! This is a super common problem, which I touched on from another angle in my post How to Avoid Overusing "I" in a First Person Story. Basically, the trick isn’t to eliminate “you” completely (since it’s essential to the style), but to balance sentence structure and vary how scenes are described.
Here are some tips:
1. Remove Filtering
Instead of filtering every observation through “you,” describe things directly:
You hear the coffee pot beep in the kitchen. → The coffee pot beeps in the kitchen.
You see the sky turn gray outside. → Clouds gather, darkening the sky.
2. Balance Action with Description & Inner Thoughts
If every sentence starts with “you,” it can feel repetitive. Mix in setting details, dialogue, and inner monologue to help reposition the "you" to a different part of the sentence:
You open the fridge. You grab a drink. You sit down. → The fridge hums softly. Cold air brushes against your skin as you grab a drink. The chair creaks as you sit.
3. Remove “You” from Inner Thoughts
In second-person, we assume thoughts belong to the reader, so adding the "you" is often unnecessary.
You think to yourself, “This is a terrible idea.” → This is a terrible idea.
Hope this helps!
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ninyard · 5 months ago
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I think about aftg as a TV show a lot lol ive got whole scenes in my head
like id want to start the show with a sports anchor pr something talking ab janie just after the news broke, cut to wymack outside a hospital or something and he calls kevin then it cuts to them in his office and kevin is melting down cos "none of them can play" (sneaky shot of andrew in the background would be fun) to which wymack finds neils file and holds up the tape. they start to watch it and it slowly transitions to neils final game with his high school just as the time runs out and they lose. Then it goes to "Neil let is cigarette burn down to the filter" scene etc. Idk i think it would give extra context for new fans who dont have neils inner dialogue but yeah have a lot of things like that in my head
for absolute shits and giggles im doing a breakdown of book one to figure out things like this and that includes me going through the whole book and bulletpointing the key moments and now i’m going back through it AGAIN and essentially combing through everything that isn’t dialogue to figure out whether you 1) don’t include it, 2) include it in dialogue as exposition or 3) use flashbacks/find a new way to show it
it’s fun honestly but tedious as hell because there’s a LOTTTTT
bc you don’t want to overuse flashbacks, or kind of abstract voiceovers/“unrelated” content like news bulletins or narration if it’s not consistently in the series BUT there’s a lot of backstory that Neil mentions that is not through dialogue. so either you start the series slightly earlier or chances are your first episode is likely to be Exposition Hell
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novlr · 1 year ago
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How do you best depict a language barrier? I have a character who doesn't understand much English and speaks even less, but most of the others don't understand a word of Japanese, which is what she speaks.
Communication is a cornerstone of any good characterisation. But for some characters there may be elements that block traditionally clear communication, and language barriers are just one example of that. Every interaction is filled with potential misunderstandings or revelations of clarity. Let’s explore how to bring language barriers to life in your writing, showing the struggles and triumphs that come with characters trying to connect across language and culture.
Understand the role of language in your story
Consider the cultural and geographical context of your characters.
Explore the historical ties or conflicts that might have led to the language differences.
Determine the significance of the language barrier to the plot—is it an obstacle, a source of conflict, or a way to deepen character relationships?
How can you use language to illustrate the power dynamics between characters?
What is the emotional impact of miscommunication on all your characters?
Why do you want to write about language barriers? If it’s just for the sake of a miscommunication trope, consider if there’s perhaps a better way for you to achieve the same aim.
Have you taken the time to understand the culture whose language you are trying to represent?
Characterisation through language
Incorporate a mix of languages or dialects to enrich the authenticity of the setting and the characters’ experiences.
Pay attention to the non-verbal communication cues that can transcend language barriers, such as body language and facial expressions.
Respectfully create characters with varying degrees of proficiency in the language they’re learning or interacting with.
Use language as a way to show a character’s adaptability, intelligence, or stubbornness.
Let characters’ reactions to the language barrier drive their development throughout the story.
Consider how language barriers may influence a character’s inner thoughts and how they perceive the world around them.
The mechanics of writing dialogue
Don’t overuse accents or continually spell them out. Use description to signal a character’s struggle instead of phonetically writing it.
Suggest broken language skills by using simple words, or incorrect grammar, but don’t resort to stereotypes.
If you choose to write an accent phonetically, don’t repeat this for every line of dialogue. Use it once as an example, and then use description to give the sense of it moving forward.
Balance readability with authenticity—make sure the dialogue is understandable to your audience in a way that is still respectful to your character.
Foster immersion through context rather than a direct translation of foreign words which often don’t hold the same meaning. Using vocabulary that characters and readers can deduce from context strengthens the narrative and characterisation.
Present the characters’ linguistic progression realistically, showing their learning curve and how it affects their interactions.
Non-verbal communication
Emphasise body language, facial expressions, and gestures to show communication without spoken language.
Use context clues and the characters’ surroundings to help convey meaning.
Explore how misunderstandings can arise from non-verbal miscommunications, but also show when non-verbal communication helps clarify things that can’t be conveyed verbally.
Consider the situational context that might enhance or impede non-verbal understanding among characters. For example, in high-tension scenes, even subtle gestures can carry heavy meaning.
Acknowledge cultural variations in body language and educate readers subtly through the narrative.
Describe the physical environment as it can also influence the way characters use non-verbal communication—proximity, personal space, and even the weather can all play roles.
The emotional impact of language barriers
Show how characters find innovative ways to express themselves and connect with others.
Describe the frustration, isolation, or desperation that characters may feel when they can’t communicate.
Use the language barrier to create poignant moments of miscommunication and resolution.
Show how shared experiences can forge bonds that transcend words and even serve as a foundation for trust.
Explore the characters’ emotional journeys as they navigate through their inability to communicate. This can lead to a deeper understanding of each other over time, despite the initial hurdles.
Consider the long-term effects of language barriers on relationships and character psyche, both positive and negative.
Research and authenticity
Study the languages you are writing about, including their structure and common phrases. If you’re writing a fantasy language, then research common language structures on which to base your characters’ experiences.
Understand the culture tied to the language to avoid stereotyping and to provide richer detail. For real languages, do research, for fictional languages, work on some deep worldbuilding for authenticity.
If possible, talk to speakers of the language you’re writing about, or speak to folks who have experienced a similar language barrier more generally.
Seek feedback from native speakers or cultural experts to ensure accurate representation and to honour the community’s linguistic nuances.
Be mindful of the socio-political influences on language and communication, presenting these complexities through your characters’ interactions either through worldbuilding, or researching real-world etymology.
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ceilidho · 1 year ago
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Sorry to dump this here, but no one in my immediate and/or accessible circle reads as much as I do and this conversation came up at the right time.
I don't read a lot of romance and I started reading some popular ones last year to ease my way into it. I feel like such a snob to say this, but the plot and writing are never fully fleshed out nor are the characters. None of the romantic actions I see people swoon over are ever explained well enough for me to understand the hype. A scene in which there should be an emotional inner monologue is shorted to a paragraph and if the character is toxic (I understand a lot of people enjoy toxic/dark men, but romance books never write them well enough) and destroys the other character's life/says a relationship-ending lie/any other cliche, there is never enough explanation, justification, groveling, or any thought process behind the reconciliation.
It's always just one half-written and half-baked trope after the other.
Again, apologies for dumping it here, but I think there are such damning consequences for women (the main demographic of romance readers) who read things like this and don't give constructive criticism or thought when facing these problems.
no but you're 100% right. i mean, this is one annoying bitch's opinion (mine LMAO) but trad publishing is in the absolute pits right now. that's not to say that there aren't still some good books coming out because of course, every now and then you're going to get a gem. but i think the environment has become outwardly hostile to good writing.
i mean, i know this has been discussed a ton, but the "fast fashionization" of books has become a huge problem. every time there's a new microtrend or whatever, every author rushes to push out a book to meet the demand (see: the hockey romance trend). this, obviously, means that the editing time is severely compressed and you get books published by like harper collins and penguin with typos, grammar issues, and more.
i got some flack for this when i posted about it on twitter ahah but i honestly do not understand why the sequel to "fourth wing" came out so soon (not even getting into the messy qualities of the first book). sequels used to take a year or more to come out to allow for the book to go through several rounds of editing and fine tuning! what happened??!!
i think authors now feel compelled to get their books out as soon as possible out of fear that booktok/readers will simply move on after the initial hype and they'll lose their reader base. there's like an anxiety about being left behind in the current publishing world.
this is kind of in line with what i was talking about the other day with Bo actually - writing romance and smut is actually way harder than people think. you can't just use the same 5 recycled porn dialogue lines and call it a day. you have to care a little about the story you're trying to tell, not just churning it out to make a buck or to make people pay attention to you. i'm not saying belabour every single action and decision made by your main character or go crazy on description (i still think the sweet spot for a published book is between 250-300 pages, and maybe more if you're writing a genre specific book that involves a lot of worldbuilding), but as a writer you need to want to be writing that book in the first place.
no one who's legitimately excited about what they're writing is going to resort to cliches and overused tropes - they might lean on tropes they like, but there's inevitably going to be something original and exciting there.
also my lil controversial opinion about the state of trad publishing lately is that i think it's 100% influenced by this weird pervasive strain of purity culture that's on booktok where people feel like any enjoyment they get from reading a particular thing has a direct reflection on them as a person and their values. rather than it just being a book.
(by the way i actually completely agree with you that even dark romances are as bad as everything else we've been talking about - that's another conversation lol. i also kind of agree with the idea of more romance books coming with content warnings on the front page - this hasn't really caught on yet except with some dark romance authors but i think it's a really good idea)
i don't think there's anything wrong about people getting excited about books on tiktok and instagram and youtube btw. i think it's a fun way to share recommendations, commentary, and interests. what i think is the big problem is that the publishing industry has almost become beholden to trends and online perception because they've seen how much profit they can generate by catering to it, and i think that's why books now just feel bland and soulless. they're tapping into a FOMO on both the authors' and writers' side, of either being left behind and not being able to make a living, or missing out on what everyone else is reading and talking about.
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spamton2thesequel · 2 months ago
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i've been pondering for a bit an i think i have a theory as to why exactly zera gives yoki the nightmares. i think there are two main reasons.
reason number one: combat training
this one is simple. we know from dragon's speech that zera is supposedly preparing yoki for some future event, and i believe the nightmares are one of zera's ways of doing this.
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the concept art for the scrapped music video and this gameplay preview of dep2 are basically proof of this; yoki seems to don a fighting stance midway through the concept art, implying that she's preparing for the possibility of a fight, and in the video zera literally is engaging her in combat.
the second reason is a wee bit more complicated. first, i want to talk about sei for a little bit.
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now, from her dialogue here, it's clear that there's some entity or force that's making sei do stuff she really doesn't want to
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and from the "AMERICAN football shaped eye with circular pupil" motif that yoki's power and sei's flesh mounds share (not to be confused with the "circular eye with AMERICAN football shaped pupil" motif that zera's magic has), we can infer that whatever weird magic stuff sei has going on is somehow linked to yoki's power
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and from this interaction we can assume that something bad will probably happen from yoki using her power
and so, i conclude that sei and yoki both have the same power, what happened to sei is simply the result of overuse of said power letting some mysterious and destructive entity overtake the will of the user. i specifically think that the way this works is that the power's pacifying ability is in some way two-sided. in addition to knocking out a BEAST-Type, i think the power also weakens the will of the user such that it can be superseded by the mysterious entity.
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not too long ago i used this selection of dialogue in a theory as to when one of the dep2 gameplay previews takes place, but i now believe that it's also a bit of foreshadowing towards the inner workings of yoki's (and sei's) power.
and how does this relate to zera's nightmares? well, i think it's possible that the power's destructive pacification towards the user could also occur during sleep, and as such zera would want to limit how much yoki sleeps, and as such he gives her the nightmares. he already is trying to deal with one sei, the last thing he'd want is having to deal with another one, and so he prevents yoki from falling down the path that sei did. this can also tie back to the first reason, the better yoki is at standard combat, the less she'd have to rely on using her power when dealing with BEAST-Types.
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star4daisy · 6 months ago
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Author Interview
thx for tagging me @drowninginthoughts27
how many works do you have on ao3?
17 (6 wips i'm ashamed to find out there's that much lmao, 9 one shots and 2 finished short stories)
what's your total ao3 word count?
257,088 words
your top 5 stories by kudos/likes:
1. Compass
2. Power Over Me
3. You Hold My Heart In Your Hands
4. D-man
5. Daylight
do you respond to comments?
yeees I do take long when I'm taking long to update cuz i feel guilty to look at them lmao, but i always answer in the end lol
what's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?
you hold my heart in your hands for sure heheh (double homocide)
what's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?
hmm compass i think like they're all happy imo except for yhmhiyh and my devotion
do you write crossovers?
nope and don't think i ever will
have you ever received hate on a fic?
nope which I'm actually shocked considering what i usually write heheh
do you write smut?
yees I used to hate to but lately it's been mostly all i write lmao
have you ever had a fic stolen?
not that i’m aware of
have you ever had a fic translated?
nope
have you ever co-written a fic before?
yeees apartment 26 with the lovely @ecstarry and it was so much fun I can't wait to do it again (it was one of my writer's dream lmao)
what's your all-time favorite ship?
to write def rosekiller they come very easily for me (heheh), but tbh I don't read their fics that much lately i've been mostly reading other fandom fics lol
what's a wip that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?
hmmmm probably Arsonist's Lullabye, it's been a long time and I do want to keep updating it someday, but unsure if I'll ever get to write the end
what are your writing strengths?
i have no idea, but i've been told i'm good at inner monologues and on some fics funny dialogues
what are your writing weaknesses?
hmmm i have 0 motivation to write big fics, i have way too many ideas and my brain keeps jumping between them all and also overuse of words and expressions
what are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?
as long as yk how to speak the language or went over it with someone who does it's fine and if you put translations at the end notes
what's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?
hmmm i've been on a prongsfoot and wolfstar phase lately so maybe that
what's your favorite fic you've written?
hmm story wise probably you hold my heart in your hands, but writing wise love you better is very precious to me (which is funny cuz its my least read rosekiller fic)
np tags: @v7lgar, @ecstarry, @velanavis, @dracure, @sugarsnappeases
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wisheduponastar · 4 months ago
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Did I send an ask yet? Maybe not. I know I meant to, but my brain has not been brain-ing well the last few days.
For your ask game,
1. Write a scene from either your Aranuir fic or the Aragorn/reader rainy day one shot in another character’s POV?
4. What are some phrases you feel like you overuse?
7. Coffee or tea while you write?
8. What is your favorite line/section you’ve ever written (because I can’t decide on what fic to ask about)?
-Hannah
Heh, have I answered your ask yet? My brain has... also not been very co-operative. But here we are!
1. The Aragorn part has been added to the list, although I do want to expand that oneshot so hopefully I can find some time for it soon.
As for rewriting from a new perspective. Technically, this scene isn't written in Aranuir's perspective - but for the actual fic it will be. So enjoy some Galadriel POV :
Cloaked in elven fabric and the dappled light of trees, the Fellowship seems more complete to Galadriel when she had seen them all come together last. Or, come before her with a single and renewed purpose - not simply seeking familiar company in Lothlórien. There are a myriad of reasons as to why they stand taller in front of her now than they had done. She could attempt to pull on the threads, if she would like, to see them unravel; some are obviously clear. The grief does not weigh as heavily on their shoulders - or if it does then they have become used to the burden. Purpose shines in the eyes of each of the Fellowship, a much steadier light now than the semi-flickering duty they had had. Wounds of both kinds have been lessened by the elves.
The current mirth in some of them is tangible, and almost infectious. Galadriel can feel the pure joy and excitement, now seldom felt across the lands, as Merry and Pippin compare the gifts she has given them with Boromir. There is even a low chuckle from the warrior, and some of the fear she still feels from him dissipates. As her gaze turns to Aranuir, some of the fear comes back again. Both him and Boromir have fear of different kinds, but there is some of the same. A brief flicker away from her gaze.
Aranuir carries none of the skepticism of the previous man, although perhaps more shame. There is deep respect in him, deep enough that it loops around into degradation of himself. When she fully stands in front of him she smiles, and needs no words to convey what she wants to say to him. He holds steady as she speaks to him, and as his mind flickers with ideas she knows that he is more used to the inner workings of thoughts - although perhaps not the thoughts of the elder elves.
“I have few gifts suited to you that you do not already possess yourself.” At this the Lady seemed to pause, again seeing something from only her eyes. “But I would be remiss, and a poor host, if I let you leave from our shores with nothing. This vial contains miruvor, and I trust you know its use. I also place my trust in you to use it when the time is right and it is deemed necessary. Go to find yourself, vinyatelcontar.”
Aranuir’s eyes range as she speaks, from surprise to comfort to slight tentativeness. Back to confusion as she names him, quiet enough for only his ears; yet despite the curiosity, he bows and withdraws again. The Fellowship together before she draws Samwise forward.
Vinya is Quenya for young. I'm still debating as to her calling Aranuir this, because it's more fitting than Vinyaelessar although the later is more timeline accurate. So how loose will timeline be with Galadriel?
4. In answering questions, I use the word 'also' too much. I'm also in a constant entanglement with commas. As for words and phrases?
I use gaze too much. Everyone's always gazing in my fics, at everything, all the time. I once put it for 2 of 3 dialogue tags in a row without even realising. Phrases? Grit his teeth maybe? I can't think of many, but I'm sure some will come to me once I post this.
According to a wordcloud of my most recent published works, not the ones of poet but the Farawhump series, my most used words (excluding names) is;
One (69) : Not entirely sure why
See (61) : I've gotten rid of the gazing problem, ish.
Although (57)
Even (56)
Time (53)
Feel (52)
Something (50)
Pain (46) : Well, the last three line up so well. And I'm not sure why I need time so much.
Shout-out to 'brother' and 'fire' at 43 and 38 respectively.
Random side tangent but he. It's so damn hard writing m/m scenes, or just scenes with two men. And I refuse to come up with horrible epiphets, but what else is there but their names?
7. Oddly enough, I don't drink coffee or tea particularly regularly. Although I am partial to chai. Generally it'll just be water beside me because I need to hydrate more.
8. Ooooh, this one caused me some trouble. I'm not sure, because nothing has leapt out at me - but I've re-read some fics, and here's what's stood out that I'm proud of. Here's my section:
“Faramir?” There is no chiding in Aragorn’s voice, just a desperate call - a desperate plea to keep that light of consciousness in Faramir’s eyes. He hates how it already flickers, although something seems renewed when he hears the voice. “My- my king.” Faramir’s voice is already ragged, but he stays on. Instinctively grasping out for Aragorn, before reaching back slightly. As if afraid to sully his king with blood, blood that’s still pouring out. His hands going to it, Aragorn tries not to think about the slick, warm feeling and instead focuses on not moving the blade anymore. (from 'Gondor needs a king')
And here's the line:
The only helping hand he will accept is his own. (from '(Don't) Notice me.')
Hope you enjoyed the answer, and sorry again for the delay <3
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howlingday · 4 months ago
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So have you watched the last three Death Battles?
I JUST finished watching Spawn VS Ghost Rider, and yeah, it was one HELL of a battle! ...C'mon; can't overuse and already overused pun.
Taking it one by one...
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Among Us VS Fall Guys - Eh... I mean, Bowser VS Eggman was going to be a tough act to follow, especially since I've played Among Us once and only saw people playing Fall Guys. Just from the info videos before, I already had a feeling who was going to win. Not surprised by the outcome, though the fight was fun to watch the first time. But even before the word go, I figured we were getting an intentional curbstomp.
Kratos VS Asura - So good, and yet... This had the most time between, so the hiatus was KILLING me to think about! But with all that hype... I'm honestly kinda underwhelmed. I mean, I get what they were going for with the music and the dialogue, but... To be honest, I think I was spoiled by that DevilArtemis preview. I was really expecting to get a second look at the inner turmoil both of these dads went through, but that's not what we got. In fact, what we DID get was just plain confusing! That last line between Kratos and Asura was very sweet, and the alternate ending we were shown was a real tearjerker. But... Again, the music felt very... all polish on no substance, I guess. I got what they were going for, but I think the hype during hiatus really heightened my expectations to ruining this match. Not a bad fight, but... Unfortunately, not a great one, either.
Ghost Rider VS Spawn - My heart's still pumpin'! I mean when I said I JUST finished watching the episode. Actually, last weekend, I prepared myself by watching an old Death Battle Cast video where they discussed the same thing! Just from what they talked about, I figured Spawn was going to win, though I'm surprised both by the route they went as well as what they cut out from the Cast video. The most powerful weapon Spawn ever wielded and it doesn't even get a mention. Though, I'll admit, I doubt the Reverse Penance Stare could compare to the one-hit kill of The Word of God. All in all, I really dig what they did. Now I just gotta wait for Hell's Angels to be available, because THAT sounded like the kinda edge music I need!
Upcoming: Shigaraki VS Mahito (My Hero Academia VS Jujutsu Kaisen) I'm honestly not sure who's going to win, though for different reasons. I'm almost finished with My Hero and I barely just started Jujutsu Kaisen. If I had to take a wild guess, I'd say Mahito wins simply for his Domain Expansion. No offense to MHA, but JJK is kinda on a different level, what with the making and breaking of POCKET DIMENSIONS.
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through-fire-and-flame · 4 months ago
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📝if you would still be accepting this ask game!
[ one thing i'm actually very proud of when it comes to my writing is my dialogue - as a recovering theater kid and playwright, dialogue is crucial to me when it comes to good storytelling when and if that storytelling involves conversations, etc.
dialogue is at once a vehicle for moving a character forward in a story and telling the reader more about them in very specific ways that can sketch them out more fully and more elegantly than, say, simply outlining their thoughts, beliefs, etc. in inner monologues
(mind you i love a good inner monologue and don't begrudge anyone who DOES rely on that technique, "elegantly" here has a given value of Chez's Whack Ass Opinion and not any kind of authority on the matter)
figuring out ways to include mannerisms, dialects, slang, etc. can give you this whole new way of characterizing your muse; if you can nail that and sound natural and conversational, you've got most of what your muse gets up to in roleplay figured out, as far as i'm concerned
if i had to pin down one thing i struggle with when it comes to laurentius, it's this: the bugger likes to hear himself talk, and while his pseudo-Pratchett, affable personality is extremely fun to write for, i sometimes worry if i chase after being clever/witty too much for a character who ostensibly isn't spectacularly smart going by his in-game statistics
but ultimately i'm extremely proud of the work i've done with him in terms of dialogue - while he might be too clever, he is at least usually pretty funny, and sounds natural and friendly when i read what i've written out loud to myself
if the worst thing i've got going for me is that i'm too witty (this is not the worst thing i have going for me, the worst thing i have going for me is my overreliance on a voice and phrases that border/s on overused) then i think i'm doing okay ]
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evannhansensletters · 10 months ago
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Status; September 14th.
Words can’t physically express how I feel. I seriously feel as if I’m on the urge of trying to do anything, desperate for anything that might help me mentally. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. It’s as if I’m just hallow, no inner core within me. How can someone be so hallow yet so misunderstood. So many words and unspoken sentences jumbled up in me. I just want to be loved and appreciated. Can someone please just give me a sign to not end it. I’ve been so desperate to the point where I’ve been talking to those suicidal hotlines and each time they tell me the exact same things. I really don’t want to be me anyone. I just want to fall asleep and never wake up again. I’m tired of those overused excuses and apologies I keep getting. Then they do it again and again. I hate the word sorry. And It’s always strange how short and cliche an apology can be defined so differently from others perspectives. Sorry can be a noun, it can also be a an interjection. Even an adjective. It takes form as a different meaning, but our automatic response would be forgiveness. Love will always blinds us always from the reality and emotional aspects that once lived to be true. Sorry isn’t enough to fill a void, and it isn’t enough to mend a patch. You can’t just slap a bandage on a broken plate and claim it as brand new again. You can’t fix a problem without acknowledging it. Sorry doesn’t define anything. The only way to define sorry is by knowing that person. Sorry can be anything without clarification. Regret, sadness, guilt, sympathy, and politeness. Sorry. It’s a word, not a gesture. It lacks the warmth of a hug, the sincerity of a tear, the weight of a heart truly laid bare. To say sorry is easy, to embody it, to live it, is an entirely different endeavor. Apologies can be uttered without understanding, floating in the air like empty promises, while true remorse is anchored in the depths of our connections. is sorry only a reflex, an automatic response we willingly have said multiple times. Sorry is merely the beginning of a much larger dialogue. What makes it even more pathetic is the fact sorry is the only word I can say. I hope this is what people think when I say sorry,, I don’t deserve anything that’s close to forgiveness.
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death-breeds-wisdom · 1 year ago
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Notes on inner monologue:
Izzy's inner monologue is overly dramatic and self loathing. Constant grand statements, ramblings and trains of thought that get off the track immediately. A lot of overthinking. The word fuck is overused. Sentences sound like dialogue. The metaphors are simplistic.
"The shower is cold and sharp. I revel in its clarity, while watching the water turn red as it spirals towards the drain. While running my fingers through my hair I identifying every bruise, welt and wound. My hands travel down to my bruised neck, still sore from yesterday. My breath hitches and shallows until I'm barely breathing. Tears start running and I don't know why. I can't breathe. Fuck. Why. My mind keeps flashing back to yesterday. Why am I crying? I had been dreaming of it for weeks. Why? I can't hate what happened so why do I still hate so much? I can't stay here, crying in the shower, barely even standing. Why am I still here, I should just- the door opens... [-]"
Julia's inner monologue is characterised by constant thoughts directed at God. Completely black and white world view. Long, layered sentences, laced with poetic metaphors. Ramblings, but less so of the overthinking kind (think: Izzy) and moreso about the state of the world.
Heddy's inner monologue is pragmatic. It sounds as though she's always brain storming. She is afraid of her own thoughts, so she jumps around a lot. She stops thoughts when they get too real. She is afraid of who she is, but she hides that fear as well. She is tired with herself and everyone around her.
"I had missed my chance, I, the utter idiot, too occupied with not getting spotted. If he dies then it's... my fault. It would've been anyway, but here I have to witness it. Having thawed my feet out of frozen fear, but still mentally trying to distance myself from the thought of these idiots dying here because of me, I ran along the river until I saw the skinny idiot fighting tooth and nail to hold both of them up. Still alive."
Roz's inner monologue consists of short, straight to the point sentences. Almost like Hedry, constantly trying to make sense of her surroundings and trying to come to the most logical conclusions. Often leads to over thinking.
Cail's inner monologue is erratic. Random snippets of surrounding radio stations get interjected. There's a lot of extra information they're constantly taking in. Noticeably less visual descriptions of their surroundings. Inner monologue is heavily influenced by classical literature.
Mika's inner monologue is very technical. Might include long lists. The descriptions are detailed, slightly influenced due to him being the eyes for Cail. Less than average emotions present (in contrast to Hedry's and Izzy's inner monologues).
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scorchieart · 2 years ago
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Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love ❤
This is such a sweet ask, thank you for sending @aquagirl1978 & @skiagrafia & Anons!
I'll be listing 5 fics where I believe I showed the most improvement/used elements that worked out the best in my writing.
Cold Shoulder (Reader, Yves, Nokto) Introductions are one of the most difficult parts for me to write, but this is one that set the scene and tone exactly how I intended. Plus, it was fun writing a flustering Yves and a jelly Nokto.
Second to None (Emma, Chevalier's faction) I don't typically enjoy stories that keep the reader in the dark, but I'm hoping the suspense & brotherly antics & twist at the end of make up for it here.
Of Conflict and Compromise (Leon, Chevalier) Another element I struggle with in writing is subtext, and while I believe this fic could be improved upon, I think it is my strongest contender for showing subtext in dialogue and character motivation.
Dual Perspective (Nokto, Licht) I tend to overuse the "hearing voices in your head" trope in my writing, but I think this is the first time I'd done it, and in my opinion it came out best here. And I really enjoyed writing the twins listening in on a conversation they weren't supposed to, that was a challenge.
Home Sweet Homesick (Clavis, Chevalier) To date, my longest and my favorite one-shot. Writing Clavis's inner thoughts as he reacts to sights and sounds and smells from his perspective was really fun, and the scene in the tree was probably the most introspective snippet I'd ever written, but my favorite part was the sequence with the letters. I'd drafted Chevalier's original letter to help with writing, but I think not releasing it as part of the fic made Clavis's reaction reading Yves's letter more impactful. And that was my goal with the fic, so I'm very satisfied with it as a whole.
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hyasynthia · 2 years ago
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A Maiden, Forlorn (Part 2, NSFW)
No one asked for it, but here it is! Took a little while but I finally got to write some dialogue. It's fun, but I sure do need some practice so I don't overuse certain verbs!
(Part 1)(Part 2)(Part 3)
TW: Masturbation, Mauling, Blood, Injury
˚    ✦   .  .   ˚ .      . ✦     ˚     . ★⋆���
The sound of my breathing is the only thing I hear, and I can feel blood pulsing in my arm. I slowly draw my glance away and to my arm, where a singular long gash stares back at me. It is no longer as red as I saw it in the stream, but now, wet and shiny, the blood glides effortlessly down and drips down my fingers. I draw my gaze back up to him, and we silently survey each other.
He makes the first move, and treads softly towards me, with an unexpected gentle look. “Stay, female.” He demands, and my mouth falls agape. …He knows how to speak? In all the tales told in the village, a beast was no more a man than an animal, ruthless, uncultured, and violent. He treads fast towards me, and my eyes fastened on his beastly hands now blossomed in a sticky red liquid. My blood, I realise. My eyes dart between us, and my heart continues to race, faster and faster.
I close my eyes when he is close enough to touch me. I can once again feel his wet breath on my face. If I looked at him now, we would be mere centimetres away from each other… I look up at him and stand up from my crouch in the stream. I couldn’t feel the cold wetness much anymore. Apparently, i stood up a little too fast, and i felt myself crumpling to the ground like dust before losing consciousness.
“Small little female, Are you conscious?” The beast breathes out, desire laced in his words. He is on a bed-nest with me, and pelts are piled up around me, and it is so- so deliciously warm. I yawn loudly, stretching out my jaw. The beast takes my face in his hand and cradles it gently. To my surprise, I lean forward to his half-snout and snuggle in his soft dark fur. “Easy there pup, you may not know what you are doing..” He chuckles, and I smile slyly up at him. My snuggle turns into a pepper of kisses and I tangle my hands deep into his cheek and neck fur. With his help, I am lifted from my lying position and sit on my knees in front of him. I am totally breathless, and I look down at myself to regain my breath. I’m naked, I see, and beyond wet; it's soaked to my inner thighs and the pelt is damp beneath me. I reach out my arm and stroke him, looking at him through my eyelashes “I need more, please” I whisper urgently. A smile grows on his face, and he licks slowly from my collarbone to my ear. I laugh, tickled by the erotic movement.
..Wait. My arm. I look back at it, and it's perfect, no scathe and no blood remains. the beast cocks his head at me and attacks my mouth with his, his tongue invading my mouth. Something is wrong. How did I get here? I struggle against his grip, my arousal turning into fear as I arch my body against his in a resultless battle for freedom, but all he does is pin me down further into the soft nest. I thresh against him and he roars loudly, raking over my torso with his claws. My body is drenched, before I fall again into a deep slumber.
This time, I awaken with a start, panting from my dream. I pinch my palm, and it hurts good. I check my arm, and although there is a bandage on, I spot a speck of blood on it. The beast is nowhere to be seen, but the room is identical to the one in the dream.
I place my hand on my heart and slow my breath as I focus on my heartbeat. I’m still in my ceremonial dress, but it’s damp. I snake a hand under a soft pelt and sure enough, I am soaking wet. I wore no undergarments, but I had not been allowed to by the priestesses either. My heartbeat was still erratic, and I brushed my hand over my wet private. My body fluttered as I glazed over my clitoris and my eyelids half closed from delight. I hadn’t done this in months.
Ever since I had known I was to be the sacrifice, I was to be kept under constant supervision. I was even forced to only sleep in a supervised room. A sacrifice had to be virginal, after all, and once a girl chosen to be a sacrifice openly slept with the blacksmith, so she could not be used. Her outcome had been disastrous, with another sacrifice being chosen, whom she was sacrificed alongside. I was but a small child when this had happened, but her wails of supposed injustice, and the silent sobbing of the new sacrifice were still fresh in my mind. Had they too been taken here? Ravaged in this bed, where I had dreamt of just that? Or had they been slaughtered at the stone slab, only their bones to be cleaned away by the priestesses?
I brought my mind away from my contemplation and focused on the feeling of my dream. I circled my fingers back and forth, and it was oh-so-close, just as i heard footsteps pad towards the closed door. I scramble to pull my dress down and burrow under a pelt, but my heart and breath race still. The footsteps stop right outside the door, and a large huff of breath, before the door opens slowly, and there he is. He is just as appealing as yesterday, and his eyes are only half open, as they were in my dream.
I admire him, arousal still coursing through my body, before calming myself down.
“Thank you. sire” I say, unsure of how to address him. “Thank you for binding up my arm”
“You are welcome, young female. It is no trouble to me.” He says in a gruff tone, his voice husky.
“I do wonder, sire, why did you bother to bind me?” I fluster, realising my mis-saying. “I mean, bind my arm- and unbind me at the slab? Why not kill me or take me there? I’m sure you do not want a mere human dirtying down your home..” Flattery, I ponder. Flattery is probably the only way out of here. Undermine myself, so that the beast can feel all the more proper and superior. It's a weak try, but better something than nothing, I reason.
A look of disdain flashes across his face, and he wanders towards the nest, before dropping down into an oversized armchair draped in more furs. “Had you been in my position, female, I am sure you would not have killed an innocent human tied down to a stone in the middle of your forest.”. “In fact, you are the first ever human I have met, and I do not think you would have been a good introduction to your kind had you been a carcass.” He chortled, a grin growing in his mouth.
The nest-bed was higher up than the armchair, but posed as I am, the sight of a large beast-man, flashing all of his teeth at you, is quite unnerving.
My breath catches in my throat as I take in his teeth. “The first human you have ever met? How can it be so? Am I the first to try to escape, the only one not slaughtered at the slab? You make no sense, sire.” His head tilts to the side gently, and his eyebrows furrow. “You are the only human I have ever met, I told you.” Annoyance grew thick in his tone. “Never have I ever seen a human inside the woods, who was not out for some Sisyphean task of trying to kill me. Especially not some delicate female dressed only in a dainty white dress.”
 
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