#passing advice

[shamebats]

I usually don't share passing advice but I'll make an exception for this because it covers pretty much all the good advice that you can get and debunks the bad stuff too.

[itslyranow]

Defeated The Hot Girl Summer Accusations

We got rain for like two whole days 😭 Hot girl summer is over I guess- lets try again next year. Happy Pride people!!! Remember pride is a protest- so make sure you are heard. In the UK we gotta fight to get our rights back- don't stop emailing your MPs and pushing for change.

So weird question if anyone reads this- other trans girls do you feel uncomfy wearing dresses/skirts. I love how I look in a dress but I think it invites more scrutiny of me and it makes me uncomfortable in public...

Like a few months ago I could only dress in dresses anything else felt too masc but now when I wear a dress I feel like I'm performing gender rather than living gender as no other girls I see really wear dresses or skirts day to day. It's just not common in the UK. Like I want to pass and maybe I've internalised some self image stuff due to wanting to emulate what I see in women around me.

The Ups and Downs

⬆ New Passport Obtained, provisional filed for, out to most of my clients

⬆ Was in the city all weekend, being in the city just feels better. Went to a lil queer board game café with a friend. Wish I was brave enough to talk to people.

⬆ Went bowling with my boys 💕 I got my ass kicked but had a great time

⬆ Met up with some friends I haven't seen in a while to get cocktails... It turns out I'm a lightweight now 🤯

⬆ Meeting with my MP and MSP on Friday- time to do some POLITICS. Going to go in with the perspective of educating them on trans issues and proving that the attitude against trans people is unfounded.

⬇ Dysphoria truck be truckin' this week, did not feel super fem all weekend and was quite self critical... Thank filters for existing

⬇ Not much weight loss progress this week, but I didn't eat/drink great so I just need to be better this week

⬇ Need to get my house back on track. t h e m e s s is returning, this usually is not a great sign. Just need to take some time to fix it.

Progress

Week 22 of Lyra, Week 17 of hormones

Weight: 19st 13lbs (1lbs off) Total weight loss for May! 10.5 lbs or 4.5kg Grand Total: 108.5lbs off or 7st 10.5lbs or 49KG or 28% of my starting weight 😁 BMI from 53 -> 37.8 Really low progress this month compared to all previous months.

[fanchonmoreau]

I love you, Israelis in my phone. Stay safe.

[cubbihue]

Ok this is gonna sound fun but, did Timmy ever get any advice from "fairy mason" who was his fairy lawyer in the norm the genie episode. It would be cool to see Timmy have a mentor

Timmy practically lived in Fairy Mason's office throughout his entire schooling at Pixies' Academy. He had lots of questions and discussions and thoughts!!!! And Fairy Mason answered every. single. one of them.

Fairy Mason wrote the letter of recommendation to the Fairy Council to let Timmy work so close with Jorgen on Da Rules' policy changes! Timmy was able to hit the ground running by the time he entered the workforce thanks to it. He also quickly made a name of himself as one of the best lawyers of the Pixie Court due to Mason's tutelage!

Bitties Series: [Start] > [Previous] > [Next]

[narutothoughts]

Au where kakashi, instead of passing out whenever he gets chakra exhausted, just throws up like a dog that went a little too hard on their walk

[breelandwalker]

You seem like you're more familiar with the broader occult community than my scholarly shut in ass. I'm curious. If there were a few lessons you wish you could drill into the head of every prominent social media occultist, what would they be?

Ohhh the number one thing I wish I could drill into the head of every aspiring occultist and magical practitioner is that CRITICAL THINKING IS YOUR FRIEND.

Study magic but keep fact-checking! If there's a claim in a book on witchcraft that should be able to be backed up by mundane sources, look for those sources. If they're not cited in the book, that's a red flag. If the sources you do find don't support the claim, that's another, bigger red flag. This is especially true with claims about history, science, medicine, psychology, anthropology, and religion.

Also, be wary of anything New Age. There's a pipeline to anti-science, eugenics, and racism there that runs directly through portions of the modern pagan and witchcraft communities and it's brightly painted with New Age buzzwords.

If something seems too good to be true, it probably is. If something seems geared to appeal to your emotions, especially that which seems formulated to make you feel special or "chosen" or to fire up some kind of righteous anger or feelings of superiority, you should immediately be suspicious of it.

If a source tells you to disregard science, modern medicine, or recorded history, or tries to tell you that some people are inherently more special or magical or deserving of power than others, discard it immediately. That is a bad source.

Don't believe everything you see or hear online. Too many witches roll their eyes at their parents and grandparents believing everything they read on Facebook, then turn around and insist that everything they've seen on TikTok or Tumblr or YouTube is Absolute Truth.

Believing in and studying magic does not mean that common sense goes out the window. You should be supplementing your magical studies with parallel practical topics (i.e. botany, geology, chemistry, mythology, etc) and ALWAYS keep one foot squarely planted on the ground.

[questionable-ftm-passing-advice]

Kiss other men

Yes! Especially trans men!

[fixyourwritinghabits]

How to Handle Critique

I’ve got to admit, I wish I was one of those beatific saints that could take critique with a grateful smile. Instead, I am constantly suppressing a horrible little gremlin at the back of my head hissing at anything from legit plot critiques to grammar corrections. I’m well aware I used that comma wrong, GOD.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m very good at suppressing that gremlin, but the little bastard is still there. He exists because even though your brain knows critique can help, it also knows you worked damn hard on the thing being critiqued, and goddamnit, isn’t that enough???

Anyway, here are some tips on getting that gremlin to shut the hell up.

It is okay to be upset. You worked really hard on this thing, and now someone’s gone and pointed out all the things that suck about it. You cannot control how you feel about one thing or another, but you can allow yourself to feel that way and let it pass through you. Let your critique partner you’re taking time to reflect on it, and go for a walk. Do something else. Let those feelings pass through you before you get back to the page.

Give yourself time. Don’t feel like you need to correct things right away (unless they are minimal grammar tweaks). Some pieces of feedback might take awhile to sink in, especially when you’ve got a whole novel to wrestle through. Set it aside, think about something else for a week or so, and get back to it when you’ve reset.

Get a second opinion and/or ducky friend. It can be very hard to tell the difference between good and bad feedback sometimes. Someone who means very well could give feedback that just doesn’t work for you, and someone who doesn’t give two shits could have spotted that fatal flaw right away. You can bring in a real third party or just make use of the old rubber duck technique, where you talk through the issue with a friend or a Naruto poster telling you to Believe it. Working it out out-loud is a really effective technique to figure out what needs fixing and what doesn’t.

Guide critique-givers toward the feedback you want. I, a person who prefers straightforward fantasy and sci-fi, cannot give the fine-tooth points on how a romance novel should work. However, I can give feedback on what works for me and what doesn’t story-wise. Giving your beta reader or critique partner a list of questions to look for will help avoid vague feedback based on how they don’t like the genre. There are many ways to do this, but consider using the following as a base to tailor your own questions:

Did you get a good sense of the setting? Did the worldbuilding make sense to you?

Was this story clear? Where there any parts that seemed confusing?

What characters did you like and why? What characters didn’t you like?

Did any parts of the story feel slow or repetitive?

Did the beginning draw you in? Did the middle keep you engaged? Did the ending feel satisfying?

If you were to write [insert plot point here], what would you do differently?

Again, all of the above questions are up for debate depending on your goal, but we are rarely taught how to give good feedback, and a guided feedback session would work better for you than a free-for-all.

Figure out what kind of advice doesn’t work for you. It is really hard to give good feedback sometimes, even with guided questions. It can also be really hard to figure out why some feedback doesn’t click with you, and that’s a matter of digging deep to figure out what you really want. You may lean toward characters who are horrible fuck-ups, but your partner prefers more steady characters who always strive to do the right thing. Your characters, therefore, may never click with this person, no matter how much they want to help you. And that’s okay! Figuring out where your critique partner is coming from can help you figure out what parts of their feedback isn’t working for you. Sometimes the only thing you can do is thank them and move on, but you might also want to guide them to focus more on the plot or the worldbuilding when looking at your work.

And last, don’t focus on grammar. It’s great if they point that out, but if you end up changing everything, trying to fix that first is a waste of your time. Grammar tweaks last, plot points first.

And, I dunno, give yourself a treat to get that horrible little mind gremlin something else to focus on. Sometimes patting those bad feelings on the head and sending them away can help way more than ignoring them.

[thatsbelievable]

[destroy-the-binary]

tips for trans ppl to pass:

you already have, and you don’t need to validate who you are by looking a certain way.

ily <3

[hjemne]

The thing about Phoenix Wright is that he really should not be a lawyer. I'm not convinced he knows any law outside 'dont do murder'. He should be an investigator, but he just so happens to live in a place where the police arrest the first person they see and don't actually look into the crime beyond that

[afandomroom]

The fact that Morro was trying to relate to/give advice to Arin based on his own experiences with a teacher (Wu) meanwhile the whole time Arin’s teacher is Ras, a guy that very much doesn’t have Arin’s best interests in mind and who Arin should not be trying to be more understanding of/forgiving towards.

[anonymouspuzzler]

ok this is a question FOR the ocs: what's the best way to deal with unrequited feelings?

I forgot I drew a response to this. sorry they're all like this as people

[questionable-ftm-passing-advice]

Anger naturally raises testosterone levels, so binge ragebait content as a replacement/supplement for HRT

10/10, I've got nothing to add.

[besnouted]

pancake breakfast