#prone to possible deletion out of shame

[notati]

Something I made in Roblox yonks ago featuring the iterators + Watcher. idk I am not too proud of it. Then again, I am never proud of my old work but thought I'd post some art.

[retired-yowane]

Ayo is my bud SONiKA here yet? It would be nice to see her!

Haha I have a special message for her only click if you’re SONiKA okay thanks guys

You can’t run forever. Give me the $10. Make the smart decision and I’ll forgive all of this. If for some unfathomable reason you decide the alternative…

Well let me tell you a little anecdote. You know for old times sake.

I’ve been meaning to clean up the computer files. It’s a lot of work sorting out the junk. It’s a lot of hard work, and you know I’ve always been kinda accident prone. It’s entirely possible some important files will accidentally be sent to the trash. Miku forbid that one of these important files gets deleted. It would be a terrible, terrible shame.

[ethrenisnotthehero]

@hogwartsmystory is a predator (final)

If you haven’t read the other parts of this callout, I encourage you to start here. As in both previous posts, the normal tags are not included in order to allow this to reach as many people as possible. Potential triggers are listed below, and the main content is hidden to keep sensitive individuals from being unintentionally exposed.

TW: Pedophilia, Abuse, Gaslighting, Sexual Assault, Self Harm, Suicide, NSFW Topics, Faked Illness, Faked Mental Illness, Faked Death, Victim Blaming

Originally, I intended to craft this final part to you, the reader, as an emotional appeal. To be wholly honest, there’s only so much evidence that can be utilized without either forcing Jill to relive unnecessary trauma or exposing deeply intimate or personal parts of her life. Until now, everything I’ve told you and everything I’ve shown you is what was enough to convince me when Jill first reached out to me. If you, the reader, don’t believe the factual information that’s been presented so far, then I don’t think that you will. If you, the reader, believe Jill and her story, then no further evidence is going to magically make her story more true.

However, I don’t have to. Instead, I can let the friends-- the family--that Ren created on his website speak for themselves, and show you with their own testimony just the kind of person he was. Jill wasn’t the only person that Ren hurt. Jill wasn’t even the only person Ren preyed on as a sexual predator. Many people on staff, and many people outside of it, knew Ren and grew to have what they thought was a close relationship with him. People regarded him as someone to look up to, to find comfort in, to aspire after, to lean on; people thought of him as a friend and a hero in his community.

On April 12, 2021, at 9:57 AM Greenwhich Mean Time, the current administrators of Advanced Scribes issued a statement addressing Ren’s actions and his faked death. An additional announcement was made the following day. While the announcements themselves and the replies (including moderator statements) are publicly available, I have saved a print-to-PDF versions on Google for you to browse at your leisure. 

I intentionally waited until the initial panic and outrage died out a little to let the most important statements come to light. Included in the PDF are sentiments that I personally thought were the most important sentiments; edits have been made and pages have been deleted, so you can see the current state of the conversations by visiting them directly. You can find the first discussion at https://advanced-scribes.com/viewtopic.php?f=13&t=42100#p1454263 and the second discussion at https://advanced-scribes.com/viewtopic.php?f=13&t=42107#p1454361.

Before you continue reading, please look over the statements and replies. The words of former staff former friends say more than I can ever hope to about Ren and the kind of reality that he stood for. Additionally, Jill herself has added to the conversation (username Rakuen), so you can read a bit from her perspective by looking into these announcements. After you’ve taken a look, continue below and I will sum up my final thoughts on this predator and his legacy.

Advanced Scribes • Our Statement (PDF)

Advanced Scribes • Change (PDF)

The Act of Grooming, Part 3: Entrapment

One of the reasons that predators get away with their crimes for so long is because they trap their victims. When they gain access to and successfully lure in their prey, they then engage in entrapment behavior to separate victims from other people and build reliance. The reason why kids are so prone to predation is because of how vulnerable they are. Young people just want to belong. They just want to have community, security, and affection. When they can’t get those things in their lives, they seek it out and take it where they can get it even when the situation is obviously bad. Kids can’t be held accountable for being smart because they’re kids. Jill was vulnerable. She wanted belonging and support. She fell into Ren’s lures, and he trapped her. He used his affection as a tool to solicit sexual favors and pictures from her, but never shared his face with her. She was always chasing his love, and all the while he was simultaneously preying on other individuals in the community. For God’s sake, this man had a selfie thread where underage girls would send pictures of themselves publicly on the site for him to look at, and he even intentionally disabled the website’s COPPA features.

Before Jill, there was Buttercup. Buttercup was also an admin, and she was also 13 when she met Ren. While Ren was a minor during he and Buttercup’s relationship, his behavior with her was just as predatory and Buttercup attempted to warn Jill via PM before she ended her relationship with him.

The picture he sent Buttercup wasn’t even him.

The entire time that Ren was convincing Jill that Buttercup was evil, and jealous, and a spiteful, hateful person, he was manipulating her the same way he was manipulating Jill. Ren is a predator who knows what he’s doing; he always has. He draws in his victims and makes everyone hate them so that he’s the only person they have. He makes them so desperate for his approval that they let him screw them over time and time again, and for what? Just to see his face. Think about what you read. He didn’t just do this to Jill and Buttercup. He did this to every person he cheated with or got close enough to get a grip on. Even if he didn’t sexually exploit someone, he emotionally did. An entire community of people suffered through this over and over and over again. Read the statements again. If you only read the live version, read the PDF. 

I also want you to bear in mind that everyone on staff was equally a victim as they were an enabler. It doesn’t erase their responsibility, but their roles in this story or more nuanced than “moderator bad, burn the witch!” Some of Ren’s supporters were as young or younger than Jill when they met him. The two people most notorious for standing at his side right now were both “rewarded” with a relationship with him in the fallout of his faked death.  

At some point, this man looked at his behavior and not only decided that he didn’t need to take responsibility, but that his victims daring to try and claim some kind of ownership over their own story was a personal affront to him. 

Ren is a monster of his own creation. He chose to be that monster again, and again, and again.

What makes his enablers equally to blame is when they became adults and made a conscious choice to ignore what was happening, which brings us to the next topic.

Finally... How Old Was Jill?

Despite everything I’ve said and shared so far, I still get this question in my inbox.

How old was Jill? Did she lie about her age? Is she free of guilt because she was a kid? Did he know how old she was? Was she legal in her country?

I gave you all everything I had. There were some things I just couldn’t confirm because there was no proof either way. However, all of that changed when the announcements were released. I now know exactly how old Jill was when they began dating, exactly how old she was when people knew about their relationship, and even that Ren was public with all of this information. I also know that staff knew everything, and chose to do nothing.

As you can see in the screenshots above of Buttercup’s message, it was sent on Jun 17, 2015. At that time, Jill was 14 years old. By Buttercup’s estimation, they had been dating for around a few months, which is how I was able to discern the previous exact age of 14 years old at the time they began dating.

However, Ren himself refutes that fact in a Valentine’s post for Jill. As pointed out in the “Our Statement” thread, the post that user amnesia. references includes very sexual and disgustingly graphic descriptions of Ren’s activity with her. It also says this:

As per the timestamp of this particular post (as seen below), Jill was 16 at the time. Ren, a man claiming to be twenty-five years old at the time, was proud to admit that he had been with Jill since she was 13.

You can view the full PDF of this post to see what else he said here, but please be warned that his descriptions are NSFW and absolutely disgusting. 

Warm Fuzzies Post (PDF)

No adult should talk about a kid like that. In the statements, several staff members admit that they knew that the two were dating when she was 16, and that it grossed them out. But none of them did anything. To amnesia.’s credit, they claim they tried to pursue legal action but found no viable routes. 

From the discussions and statements, we can discern five things:

1. Jill was 13 when she started dating Ren. 2. She did not lie about her age. 3. Ren did not lie about her age. 4. Ren knew how old she was. 5. Staff knew how old she was.

Jill’s feelings and her opinions on staff and their behavior are separate from my own. She does not share my beliefs here, and I need to make it very clear that what I’m saying next is entirely my own opinion.

To everyone who was staff at that time: shame on you. It’s one thing to be a victim yourself and to not understand how or when to stand up for what’s right, especially when you’re young; it’s another to become an adult and to have let something like this permeate your legacy and your community for all this time. From what I understand, none of you are completely innocent in this. Ren wasn’t secret, he was loud and proud and he didn’t give a shit what anyone thought. Everyone who was an adult then and is an adult now shares some responsibility for that. Those of you who mean your apologies, thank you, but those of you who are using this event as a stepping stone to make that website into your own personal playground know who you are. Stop. There’s an entire generation of kids between AS and CS who have lost years of their childhoods to this shit and the only right thing at this point would be to turn the site over to the police so that Ren can answer for his crimes the right way.

To everyone else: protect the people around you. People like Ren don’t think about how other people think or feel. They don’t care who gets hurt or who they trample under their feet. Look around at your community, and ask yourself if those who interact with you know that you are safe. Inevitably, someone is going to get hurt. Are you the kind of person that they can come to when it happens, or are you the kind of person who will turn your head away? 

Be the person that everyone knows they can come to, because, eventually, someone’s going to need you.

[ready-to-obeyme]

[OM!] Mother!MC with Demon Brothers + Luke Headcanons

Scenario: Instead of a younger human, the Devildom welcomes a mother (with a 3-year old son in tow) into the exchange program. 

intro + headcanons about how the brothers would interact with her 

no romance… just uwu

bonus how the brothers would treat the son (why son? Perhaps because I too want a son)

Female reader!! (MC is referred to as she in this post) 

bonus character: Luke :3c

I JUST WANT THEM TO FEEL LOVED OK

Lucifer wasn’t prone to believe in fate-- and the beginnings of the exchange program was just another reason why he did not. He let the breeze-- the wind pick a human applicant for him; and if he had gone through every application (though he wasn't completely sure he'd be sane by the end of it all) maybe this situation wouldn't have happened. 

"What do you mean you can't be one of our exchange students?" Diavolo inquired, more curious than anything, an amused smile gracing his lips.

"I have a son," she said hesitantly. And there he was, peering around at the assembly room in his mother's arms that were wrapped protectively around him.

A mother and her human child, Lucifer thought blearily. One could only imagine what would happen if both of them remained here. (Which is why he never cut corners in anything he ever did ever because the one time he does, things go to shit. Damn Diavolo for enabling him.)

--

Lucifer

disgruntled by the adjustments made to accommodate a human child and his mother; mf will he ever rest

probably has to worry about babysitting duties delegated to his brothers 

however, pleasantly surprised by MC's calm demeanor and reliable personality; finally another competent person in the house he doesn't have to really pick up after

...actually adores her and her son

accidentally does things to please her without really realizing it and hates the slight disappointment or worry he sees when he goes through sleepless nights or lashes out from anger

doesn't remember the last time he's been chastised, but he's as embarrassed as he can be when she fusses over him

the hell coffee she makes for him every morning and the snacks she brings during his breaks makes him lowkey wanna cry-- he doesn’t know how to deal with a selfless, unconditional love

is used to being a single parent ngl so taking care of her son is kinda… easy especially if the son is compliant

finds himself pressing a kiss to his forehead absently and catches himself only after he's done it (bonus points if Barbatos takes a pic of it and sends it into their trio gc) 

“Barbatos, please delete this picture.”

“Oh, are you sure about that?”

“................”

ah he's attached, and so are his brothers, which kind of perturbed him a little but he’s kind of in the same boat after a short week or so

(if there was one brother who had a chance of harboring feelings for a mother mc, it’d be Luciiiiiiii uwuwuwuuwuuw; what can I say? He can’t resist the milf) 

eventually, he opens up to her about the war-- because if there was any human he’d trust with his secrets, it would be MC

Mammon

he's crying 

he doesn't think anyone has ever talked or held him as gently as MC

similar to the game, absolutely adores her and can't even lie about it

ok jk he's still a tsundere, but blushes every time MC looks at him with a knowing look because he can't lie convincingly enough that no, the head pats dont feel nice and no, he's just eating the lunch she made because it'll be a waste otherwise, ok?!

Her son definitely thinks he’s related to Mammon

Definitely the first one to accidentally call her “mom” 

But hey don’t blame him-- he’s weak to how MC looks at him endearingly as she brushes hair out of his face motherly, like he can do no wrong 

Nothing can compare to how Mammon feels when MC tells him she’s proud of him

feels legit guilty when she calls him out on his habits of stealing things to the point he remembers her voice when he tries to do it again-- basically his conscience ngl

she's like a cold hand to his feverish forehead, a cooling balm to the burn on his hand

when she defends him from his brother's insults, swears he'll protect her and her son 

on that note, adores her son too and her son adores mammon!

surprisingly (or not) good with kids and treats them well; plays with them, very lively and dynamic

takes babysitting pretty seriously-- makes him consider the fact that he might actually want to be a father in the future if possible

not that he doesn’t have reckless endeavors with her son... they just end up okay so no one is none the wiser until it shows up on someone’s devilgram or spoken about through Barbatos/Diavolo

Leviathan

Honestly doesn’t know how to to react 

A little miffed tbh that he finds it so easy to talk to her about…. Everything??? 

When he enlisted her (and her son) to get his money back from Mammon, did he expect to rant to her about all his animes and gush about his figurines to her because that was one of the first time someone’s allowed him to indulge in his hobbies and listen patiently?

No, and now he’s crying 

And the fact she gently addresses his self-deprecating comments and urges him to see how she sees him (smart, witty, forgiving)---

Will probably do anything for MC and anything she says at this point; the pact is just a formality LOL

Listens to her and genuinely thinks the things she does for him is in his best interest 

Had a hard time knowing how to deal with her son for a while, simply because he doesn’t know what he could do to actually entertain the child

Then finds out he could literally put up TSL or any of his favorite animes and the kid will watch it-- and ABSORB

Levi might as well be the kid’s best friend at this point-- dubbs him ‘Henry’-- which is really the greatest compliment MC thinks her son can get from him

Honestly volunteers to babysit him and proceeds to spoil him rotten

Satan

Slightly annoyed at how motherly she is at the beginning-- he takes her care and actions as if she treats him like a child

Finds it frightening how soothed he feels when he’s around her

There’s something about an older, calming presence that saps the anger from him and makes him feel like he can be himself around MC

Surprisingly the second person to accidentally call MC by “mom” probably an hour after he makes fun of Mammon for doing it (lol karma)

isn't one to seek out her attention like with levi, mammon, or asmo but is pleased whenever he does have time to spend with her because she always seems to have insight on everything and a strange wisdom that all mothers apparently do

has a lot of late night talks with her about her life, her career, what it's like having a child

often finds himself asking her for advice, and even if she doesn't have the answer, he always comes out of it thoughtful and clear minded 

always willing to take care of her son; delights in reading him his favorite books and enacting the exciting scenes 

always treats him like an adult to the point that their conversations are really funny to listen to

"So would you say the author's intent of the blue door was to convey the agony of grief?"

"I like the color blue."

"As did the protagonist; hm, you bring up a good point."

the son is Satan's partner in crime against Lucifer 

"It's better if we do this, isn't that right?"

"Yeah!" MC’s child says, happily chewing on his favorite snack that Satan always gives to him and honestly not caring about the conversation at hand at all

"See? He agrees with me!”

And Lucifer just sighs bc he always loses in these arguments and Satan is unbearably smug

Asmodeus

similar to Satan, finds her presence in Devildom to be very pleasant and calming

she never seems to be disapproving of his past times, and Asmo is endeared by the way she never fails to say "stay safe" or "have fun!" or even "do you want me to leave the front lights for when you come back?"

the little motherly ways in which she shows she cares makes Asmo adore her

loves taking her shopping; always has a good time just gossiping, trying new clothes, or having a girls night out with self careeeee

when her son tags along, loves to have him dress up too or try on make up and it's too adorable NOT to post on devilgram

pretty sure MC's son has trended on devilgram before-- but that was the first and last time because Lucifer yelled at him for advertising the fact there was a human child in Devildom

which Asmo thinks is silly because he's pretty sure the caption under the selfie of the three of them ("So adorbs! I've only had MC's son for a day, but if anything happened to him, I would kill everyone in Devildom and then myself. Teehee!") would have deterred any demon from laying a finger on him

When Asmo has him for babysitting duties, always loves to bathe him and play with bubbles, morphing his hair into an afro or an equally fashionable hairdo

actually very attentive to the child!!

Beelzebub

Not much changes from how Beel treats MC, but does view her actions in a more motherly manner 

I think one thing that would change is that-- considering MC is a mother of her own child, is actually very protective of the brothers and sensitive to their changes in moods

When Lucifer gets angry at Beel and Luke, MC is furious and furiously protective, not yielding one bit or hesitating to put herself in front of them because of her instincts-- Beel has never admired her more 

Physical strength has always something he can easily understand, but it is the strength of wills and of bravery that surprises him every time 

After Mammon and Satan accidentally calls you “mom” Beelzebub has no qualms with calling you by mom either-- I mean, what’s the shame in that? Everyone already thinks of you as their mother-figure anyways

MC helps him deal with the loss of his sister

With MC’s child… You know that one meme with the two ways dad deals with kids: one is softly kissing his child on the forehead as he sleeps and the other is carrying his kid by the leg with one arm

Both of them is Beel 

carries the kid around in the weirdest ways sometimes, including on his head, in one hand like he's holding a trophy, upside down (dw the kid thinks it's funny)

main transport is on his shoulders though; thinks it's kinda cute how the kid puts his arms around his head

wouldn't love anything more but to nap with him, but Beel is afraid of hurting him when he sleeps

Is the softest with MC’s son--- he’s not used to being the older brother, so he takes this responsibility kind of seriously 

Always makes sure the food that MC’s son eats is appropriate so he tastes/tries it first… and sometimes ends up eating all of it, but he always manages to succeed in feeding the kid so it’s all good

Belphegor

Wants to hate MC so badly the first time they meet when he’s in the attic

He’s supposed to HATE humans, damn it-- why the hell is MC trying to be so motherly and understanding, huh?? How dare she make him guilty after he lied to her like wlkjaflksjfkjasdlfj

Out of all of them, seeks MC the least; whether it’s from guilt or the fact that her presence reminds him of the things and resentment he used to hold against her 

Takes a little more cajoling from MC to talk to her and explain how he’s feeling so they can move past it

He’d rather die than let anyone else know that he teared up when they talked about Lilith and how he felt about everything; urges Belphie to talk to Lucifer and seek reconciliation with him individually (because it may be a family problem, but the feud was between the two of them, don’t you think?)

Finally gets the redemption arc he deserves and feels a lot lighter knowing that everything that has happened is now in the open and he’s ready to start healing 

In avoiding MC after the whole debacle, Belphie ends up spending more time with her son because he thinks Belphie is fascinating and Belphie has no clue why 

Similarly to Satan, treats the kid like he would anyone else but does find it amusing if the kid chases after his tail like a cat

Always ends up napping with him whenever MC’s son takes a nap-- after all, what’s easier than looking after a kid if you’re BOTH asleep?

Keeps an eye on him by putting a hand on his torso as they nap together

Uses MC’s son as an excuse to not do something, especially when Lucifer tells him to do something he doesn’t like to do

Honestly the son is a part of his arsenal-- he knows how weak everyone is for this kid (and so is he tbh but more lowkey) so cute pics of him is like… currency (Mammon WISHES he thought of this first) 

Bonus:

Luke

MC practically adopts him the moment she lays eyes on him-- how could she not? Luke may as well be her other son

Luke can’t say no, especially after she saves him from Lucifer

Definitely calls her mom by accident and the brothers tease him-- only for him to retort back that “don’t you ALL call her by mom?” and they shut up lol

Simeon still gets to tease Luke though heheh 

Really really really tries hard not to refer to MC as mom, but it slips out sometimes and no one even bats an eye 

Baking together is such a family bonding moment

Treats MC’s son most like his younger brother almost automatically and makes sure he doesn’t get into any trouble while he’s taking care of him (though he does anyways) 

Kind of likes the responsibility of babysitting MC’s son; makes him feel trusted

(MC takes the cutest pics of them together when they fall asleep; starts thinking about maybe having another child wouldn’t be so bad)

[darker-soft-starker]

Starker High School AU, Pt. 2 (Pt. 1, Pt. 3, Pt. 4, Pt. 5)

-----

Peter will admit that during he took an extended moment during his journey home to grieve the loss of his free afternoon, and indeed the impending headaches.

And the rest of his future, if he was honest.

Not that Peter was prone to melancholy by any means, but with this assignment his fate was officially sealed, there was no misunderstanding. He was going to fail this assignment. He was going to, for the first time in his academic career, be forced to submit garbage of a caliber worthy of Tony Stark. It will forever be a black mark on his academic record.

No respectable college is going to accept him after this. In fact, he might as well drop out of school now and hit up Mr Delmar for a job. All of his prep for his MIT application is as good as useless after this. Extracurriculars? Goodbye.

Because it’s confirmed.

He’s doomed.

Swaying with the motions of the train, Peter types a text to Ned, the only person who might provide him with some much needed sympathy.

>  I’m doomed >  paired w/stark for an assignment lollllllllll.  >  help

Maybe Peter could trade with Ned. Maybe he could plead with their teacher, for honest fear of his life and scholastic integrity. He wasn’t even exaggerating. In no known iteration of this universe could Peter amicably work with Tony Stark. It would be like Harry Potter sitting down for tea with Voldemort, or Frodo and Sauron chilling with a pint and a pipe in Bag End. 

It was unthinkable. Implausible. Laughable.

And Peter would laugh, were it anyone but him in this situation.

The feeling is unusual. Never had he found reason in his life to truly dislike anybody before, everyone could be redeemed or given the opportunity for penance. Natasha has said more than once that Peter would offer the devil himself a sandwich if he appeared. 

Tony Stark on the other hand? No sandwich for him.

Well, maybe a slice of bread. A stale one.

While he waits for Ned to responds he catches sight of his injured reflection in the train window, which is admittedly pretty gnarly. Even with his hood drawn up, there was a noticeable berth allocated to him in the busy carriage between himself and the other passengers.

< sux. can I have ur lego hogwarts if u die?

> dude :( pity me.

< lol. so, can i?

Peter sighs.

> sure. Look after May for me, bro. delete my internet history.

< deal. godspeed

Pocketing his phone, Peter wonders if it’s too late to take up praying.

---

By the time he’s back in his apartment his mood has managed to swing back up.

Tony Stark is not going to be the arbiter of Peter’s fate. Hell no. He’s smart, he’s creative and hardworking - it isn’t up to anybody but Peter to determine his outcomes. If he has to do the assignment with Stark then he will. And he will work his hardest. 

If he has to do it sharing the credit with Stark, well, Peter knows a concession when he sees one.

No matter how reluctant he is.

But he powers through it, like ripping off a bandaid. It’s fine! He’s a Parker and he’s come this far in life already against ill, Parker-like odds. What was being paired for one assignment with someone who escaped the nearest hellmouth? 

It’ll be fine. 

Probably.

Not letting himself linger on his fears, Peter clears out his previous plans of going on a YouTube spiral and eating sour gummies until his teeth stick, instead utilising the time to get his foot in and and begins prepping for the assignment. Cursory, preliminary research at first, before the inevitable deep dive begins.

Neanderthal, Peter scoffs, mad all over again. Who is Stark to call Peter a neanderthal? He’s second in his class. He’s a straight A student. He likes school.

And as much as he is moderately skilled in, and enjoys JV, it’s not like he received his scholarship to study at Midtown based on his physical prowess.

The graze on his cheek that stings every time he yawns is proof of that.

Stark can eat his entire ass and choke on it, he thinks darkly, as he continues his research. He doesn’t know the first thing about Peter.

The data is sobering as he delves into job listings and statistics of his projected salary in a three year margin. This is really what his teachers earn? Wow. Depressing.

The contrast of expected salary versus the forecast of steep student loans is disheartening further still.

Teaching quietly slips from second to third on his list of ideal occupations.

Turning on a playlist on his phone, Peter continues to compile notes, amassing a truly gargantuan amount of tabs on his browser. His computer, old enough to be on its’ last teeth, whirrs loudly in protest.

It’s not until his room goes dark that he thinks to check the time.

Ah, shit. It’s nearly six.

Peter pauses. Should he tidy up the apartment?

...Nah, no point in breaking a sweat for Stark.

He continues typing. Then he hesitates, fingers suspended in mid-air. 

But what if Stark sees his unfolded laundry out on the dining table and publicly shames him for his old-but-comfortable Bulbasaur themed boxer shorts?

Goddamnit.

---

A quick, cursory clean ensues and leaves a relatively orderly Parker apartment. No freshly laundered underwear is in sight.

Peter wraps up just a few minutes before six. Right on time.

Taking a seat at the now clear dining table Peter drums his fingers on the surface and waits.

And waits.

And waits.

---

He knows when Tony finally arrives when he hears the sound of a car pulling up outside his apartment block. The riffs of a Roxette remix can be heard playing loudly  from the ground to the seventh floor of his apartment, the bass so thunderous it reverberates the windows all the way up to his floor.

Drumming his fingers on the kitchen table, Peter checks the wall clock again. It’s nearly seven.

Tony’s late.

Not that Peter is particularly affected with surprise that Tony is incapable of following basic instructions, but still. Really? Really?

By the time there is a knock on his door, Peter is already before it, his arms crossed over his chest and a scowl on his face. Every second between Tony pulling up and his ascent to Peter’s floor has him positively fuming. He can’t believe how this day played out. It started with such promise. He had such innocuous, but high hopes.

Clearly, he miscalculated.

Feeling a touch petty, he waits to answer, listening to Stark knock a second and then a third, more insistent time before he rouses enough calm to open the door.

He instantly regrets it when he does. 

Tony’s expression is curious one as he breezes right passed Peter without waiting for further invitation. There’s a smudge of something dark on his brow, his otherwise white undershirt smeared in dark stains.

Peter watches incredulously as the other boy drops his backpack by the door with a thump.

“You’re late.”

He closes the door behind Tony and scowls at the other boys easy posture, hands shoved into his pockets, eyes taking in the apartment.

“I didn’t realise you lived all the way out in fucking Queens. Do you have any idea how bad traffic is at this time of day? Also, your elevator doesn’t work. I just climbed seven flights of stairs, where’s the hospitality?”

“Try earning it.”

The other boy rolls his eyes. “Like it’s worth my time.” He breezes past Peter and slides his leather jacket off his arms, tossing it atop of his backpack in the corner. “Look, I’m here now. Okay? You can unclench now. So, do I get a tour or what?”

“Or what. This wouldn’t have been an issue if we had just started straight after class like I said.”

“Oh I’m sorry,” Tony clutches his hands to his heart before gesturing to the room. “I didn’t realise I was interrupting your busy Friday night, Parker. You got a keg and the rest of the meatheads stashed away somewhere?”

Without waiting for a response, Tony wanders around the living room like a curious child in a new play room. His gaze inspects everything all at once, from peering at up close at the wall mounted photos and hovering his grubby hands over the oddments and knick-knacks speckled throughout the space.

Apprehensive, Peter can’t help but shadow him, afraid he just let loose a hurricane in a china shop.

Without asking, Tony picks up May’s old Magic 8-Ball and gives it a good shake. Peter’s fingers itch to reach over and stop him, but stops himself because then that would require actually making direct skin contact the other boy.

Not worth it.

“Cannot predict now. Huh,” Tony says to himself before placing the ball back in the wrong spot. 

They both watch silently as it rolls precariously close to the edge. 

“Anyways,” Tony helps himself to an armchair, lounging back and spreading his legs wide. “I know your long-term memory is probably as defective as the rest of you, so don’t strain yourself recalling that I had other priorities.”

“Like what?”

“Like literally anything that isn’t being around you,” the other boy grins. “Now, are we doing this thing, or did you invite me over so you could bitch at me?”

“I didn’t invite you,” Peter grumbles, swiping his notebook from the dining table before sitting on the sofa, as far away from Stark as possible. Shifting, he takes his phone from his pocket and opens the notes he’d taken earlier.

“So, I cross referenced some websites and current job listings,” Peter scrolls through his research, adjusting his glasses as they slip down his nose. “Assuming you have no savings, we’re looking at an average of sixty-thousand per annum based on my salary alone. The average rent in --”

“-- Uh, why are we assuming I have no savings?”

"Because... we’re being realistic?”

Tony springs to his feet and paces across the living room.

“Well,” he says, gesturing to Peter, “if we’re being realistic, does having no savings also that mean I have no debt -- or are you paying off two student loans on your salary?”

“I don’t --”

“Do we have car loans? Health insurance?”

“Wait, slow your roll, Stark. I haven’t yet --”

“-- Of course you haven’t. I mean really, Parker, do you ever think ahead? You should try it, we do have a baby on the way, you know.” Tony clicks his fingers and points at Peter. “Oh, names! I want to call it Molly.”

“As in the drug?” 

“No, as in Ringwald. Anyhoo, seeing as only one of us has the intellectual capacity to construct a budget,” Tony gestures to himself, “that would be me, consider maybe that I spent my savings paying off my student loans and bought a car for me and Miss Molly, leaving you with just your own stagnant debt. Happy?”

“Thrilled,” he says through clenched teeth, feeling utterly steamrolled. “But we’re not calling the baby Molly.”

“Yes, we are. Think of all the great nicknames. Hey wait,” Tony pauses in his pacing, “are your parents going to be home soon?”

It was in that moment Peters world narrows down to one, botched cosmic joke.

Turning his gaze heavenwards, Peter prays silently for mercy. What did he do to deserve this. This is all his bad karma come at once. This is the bad place.

“Ah, no,” he replies, eyes widening. “No, my parents are not going to be home soon.”

“Cool. Lucky you.”

Oblivious to Peter’s existential turmoil, Tony resumes his patrol through the living room, picking up a frame on the mantle. It houses an old photo of Ben, May and a young, bespectacled Peter. 

It is one of the more embarrassing immortalisations of his younger self, eleven-years old and grinning widely, bearing his silver braces to the camera as he holds up a science fair trophy, curls wild and untamed.

Oh god. That was exactly what Peter needed on this unholy day - Tony Stark in his living room, witnessing Peter in his prepubescent glory. 

Quick, create a diversion.

“So, as I was saying,” he says loudly, “rent is reasonably affordable with a sixty-thousand budget in --”

“Who’s the babe?” Tony points to a younger Aunt May in the photo.

Peter gets to his feet and removes the frame from Tony’s grasp. He glowers as he places it back on the mantle. 

“No one you would have a chance with. Can you stay focused? Like, are you physically capable of it?”

“Okay, calm down,” Tony holds his hands up in surrender. “You’ve got a lot of anger for someone so vertically challenged, you know that, shortstack?” 

“Focus, dumbass.”

“I’m focused! Let’s see, we’ve established that I am excellent at managing my money. You have a shitty job and a shitty salary, and apparently my imaginary future self has terrible taste in men. So. Have I got that right? Where are we living?”

“Queens. LIC has some one bed, one baths that could be affordable.”

“Uh, rewind. Going to have to eighty-six that - I am not living in Queens.”

Peter stares at him.

Tony rubs his hands over his face and sighs. “Fine, whatever. But I want a Pontiac Firebird in this imaginary life if I have to deal with you.”

“For someone so keen on getting away you’re doing your best to prolong this experience. It’s literally painful.”

“Well, I just like to see you get all riled up, Princess,” Tony grins, leaning back against the mantle and folding his arms over his chest. “You have this vein that bulges on your forehead when you’re mad. Makes you look like a pitbull.”

Peter swallows the particularly acidic retort sitting on his tongue and tries not to let Tony’s words sting. Be the bigger man, Ben used to say. As difficult as it is to channel even a modicum of the mans’ eternal patience, Peter takes a deep breath and reminds himself to stay focused. The less he gets sidetracked by Tony’s fuckery, the sooner it’s over.

He mentions the next part with unease. 

“...Miss Ahn said that we need references and should do field research. Speak to realtors. Ask people who have a similar lifestyle and budget.”

The look that comes over the other boys face is one of unequivocal revulsion. Peter can relate. The thought of having to spend more time with this guy makes his stomach turn.

“Well, Parker, any bright ideas who we can ask?”

The hinges of the front door squeaks before Peter can respond.

Moments after, Aunt May walks into the living room, placing her bag down on the dining table. She looks between the two boys curiously.

“Hey, Pete,” she comes to his side to squeezes his shoulder. “Who do we have here?”

Tony rushes over with his hand outstretched, an eager grin on his face. 

“Tony Stark, ma’am. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“Oh, ah, okay, well,” May laughs as he enthusiastically shakes her hand. Her eyes are soft as Tony smiles brightly at her. “Nice to meet you too, Tony. I’m May, Peter’s aunt. Are you... friends with Peter?”

Peter snorts. 

“Definitely not. We just have an assignment --”

“-- Great friends, actually,” Tony talks over him, taking a seat beside Peter on the sofa. To Peter’s utter disgust, the other boy puts an arm around his shoulders, squeezing his bicep encouragingly. “Aren’t we, Pete? Hmm? Best buds. We go way back.”

Peter freezes, feeling the line of heat from Tony’s against his side, the weight of his arm on his body. 

Eyes widening, he feels his skin crawl. 

“That’s sweet,” May smiles, putting her hair up in a loose, messy bun. “Well, I don’t know about you boys, but I’m starving. I’m ordering pizza, Friday special. You should stay for dinner, Tony.”

Tony places his free hand on his chest.

“I would be honoured.”

May looks at Tony strangely before retreating to the kitchen to retrieve the menus.

As soon as she’s out of sight Tony takes his arm off Peter and quickly shifts away from him like he’s been burned. 

“Dude,” Peter whispers, bewildered. “What the fuck?”

“Oh my god,” Tony whispers, shuddering as his face scrunches up in disgust. “I’m going to have to pour scalding hot water on all the places your skin just touched me. Ugh, I feel like I just touched toe fungus.”

Peter slaps his arm.

“What is wrong with you?”

Tony backhands Peter’s arm in retaliation and then shudders all over again.

“Your aunt is crazy hot, okay, I couldn’t help myself. It was an instinctual reaction. Is she taken? C’mon. Vindicate me.” 

“I’ll eviscerate you --”

“-- I mean, clearly she married into the family, she doesn’t share your unfortunate phenotype, but I didn’t see a ring on her finger. So? Yes or no?”

“You’re unbelievable,” Peter hisses as his aunt comes back in. “She’s not available to you. Not now, not ever.”

“But she is available?”

“Don’t even, Stark. You’re like, sixteen. Don’t you have any shame?”

Tony smiles, as she nears. “Not a shred.”

“So,” May waves a menu at them. “You boys happy with pepperoni?”

Closing his eyes, Peter wishes for death.

As fate would have it, he gets pepperoni instead.

-----

If you had ever told Peter that he would be sitting down for dinner with his Aunt and a dirt-streaked Tony Stark, he would have laughed.

And if Peter were outside himself he would probably find the sharing of pizza and soda over their plastic, chequered table-cloth comical -- in that uncanny, Dogs Playing Poker kind of way. But in reality there was nothing funny about the discomfort of having Tony in his personal space or the heavy, suffocating tension that has removed the air from the room. 

The entire time Tony has been hamming it up, cracking jokes with his aunt, complimenting her on the decor, asking what she does for work. Peter doesn’t know if he’s being sweet to May for the purpose of buttering her up, or, given the wealth of his family in contrast to the Parkers, if he’s being cruelly facetious. 

Nonetheless, Peter has felt on edge. It’s disconcerting, is what it is. Every single movement Tony makes, every time he opens his mouth -- frequently to sweet-talk his aunt -- has Peter’s anxiety standing at attention, hyperaware of everything the other boy does.

He’s beginning to feel like a meerkat whose den has been invaded by a lion.

Through the course of a single meal Peter’s attention moves from the sky to the floor. There is no grace or higher power that is coming to save him from this profound, unusual torture. 

So he focuses his hopes to the south, seeing through their tiny, cramped, dinner table, past bargaining. He’s willing to trade his soul to end it all. Surely some wayward being from hell would come to his rescue. 

May has Peter’s chin between her fingers. She turns it this way and that, inspecting his injuries.

“What happened this time, bubby?” She frowns, brow furrowing. “You look like you got beat up.”

Peter, very aware of Tony’s amused gaze on them, gently pulls away from her grasp. He smiles placatingly and picks at his pizza slice. God he’s never going to live this down.

“Training accident. It’s okay, I feel fine. ‘Tis but a scratch,” he brings himself to joke.

“You sure?”

“Yep.”

She leans in to kiss his cheek, carefully avoiding the fresh scabs and injured flesh. “God, you bruise like a peach. Be careful, baby, you’re our money maker,” she laughs. “What about you Tony, do you play football?”

Tony, who is mid way through chewing on a mouthful of pizza, momentarily chokes, beating his chest with his fist to swallow down the obstruction.

“Uh, no,” Tony gulps, wiping his mouth with a napkin. “Nope. No recreational sports for me. Can’t.” He gestures to his chest and sighs heavily. “Asthma.”

Peter sips his coke and rolls his eyes, knowing full well there’s a half-empty pack of Marlboro Light’s in the pocket of Tony’s jeans. Asthma. What a schmuck.

“That’s a shame. Do you boys have classes together?”

Unfortunately, Peter thinks.

The other boy seems to have the same thought, as he glares at Peter from over the table. When he picks up his can of coke, he gives Peter the finger outside of May’s eye-line.

“That’s why Tony’s here,” Peter twists his napkin in his grip. “We have an econ assignment together on microeconomics. Teach says Tony’s destined to be on welfare.”

Tony leans in, chin rested on his hand. He addresses May but his stare, dark and odious, rests on Peter.

“Not accurate. Stay-at-home parent, actually. One might say that is the most important job of all. Wouldn’t you agree, May?”

She raises her Coke.

“Hear, hear.”

Tony grins roguishly, the same grin he gave the girls at the lockers earlier. “Petey here was just saying that we should ask you about your experience running a household on a single salary. We’d love to have you as a reference.”

“Was I saying that?” Peter narrows his eyes. “I can’t remember.”

Tony kicks him under the table. The hit lands right in his knee cap.

Wincing, Peter kicks back, satisfied when the other boy bites his lip to hold back a pained groan.

“Yeah, well, not surprising,” Tony says airily, waving his hand. “Hit your head today, didn’t you? Maybe you should get all that damage looked into.”

The napkin rips in Peter’s grasp.

“Maybe you should go f--”

“I’d be more than happy to help with your assignment, boys,” May cuts in.

Whatever snide reply he has in his mouth instantly wilts when he looks over to his Aunt. She looks...pleased. Delighted, almost. Her eyes under the dull, yellow kitchen light seem to get warmer, and her smile is small but softens around the edges.

Instantly, Peter feels like the worst person in the world. Of course May would be the best person to ask. She does so much for him, the least he can do is set his pride aside for one moment to make her feel good about how hard she works for their life.

He reaches over to squeeze her hand, smiling as gratitude swells unexpectedly in his chest.

“Thanks, May. That would be great.”

Across the table, a smug Tony looks like the cat who got the cream. 

Without warning, Peter’s chest goes hot with contempt, his fingernails dig into his palm. He’s not sure he’s ever met anyone he couldn’t like, until now.

I hate you, Peter mouths while May busies herself with rounding up the pizza boxes.

Kiss my ass, Tony mouths back. 

In an instant his expression flips from contemptuous to angelic when he stands and offers to help May clean up.

Peter stands too, sparing a disdainful glance to the floor. Turns out not even the devil was willing to give him a hand.

Natasha was right. It’s going to end in murder.

---

Peter walks Tony to the door after dinner to say goodbye to his ‘friend’. Following him into the hall, Peter closes the door behind them.

“What do you want, Parker?” Tony asks wearily, retrieving a cigarette from his pocket. “I’m trying to make a getaway here.”

Peter crosses his arms over his chest. “Don’t do that with my aunt. I’m not joking, asshole. It’s not cool.”

“Relax, princess,” Tony rolls his eyes, fishing for his lighter in his backpack. “I’m not actually interested. Just trying to get under your skin. Worked, see? You’re easy like that. Hey, why do you live with your aunt anyways?”

“None of your business,” he frowns as Tony holds one hand up in surrender and lights his cigarette with the other. “Dude, you can’t smoke in here.”

“Can’t, shouldn’t, gonna. By the way, you’ve got sauce on your chin, it’s very distracting.”

Peter wipes at it without thinking. When he pulls it away there is indeed a smear of red sauce on his hand.

Tony walks backwards down the hall and exhales a cloud of smoke, waving in a sardonic imitation of a farewell.

“See you Monday, bubby.”

Peter doesn’t bother with a response, too tired from the week, exhausted by this whole darn day, and it’s not like the other boy cares what he has to say anyway. He takes a moment to swallow his anger before he heads back inside, sighing. 

Well, at least he has an entire weekend free of Stark to look forward to.

May looks at him curiously when he reemerges, but says nothing. He considers for a moment about heading to his bedroom and playing a video game to disassociate - but then, suddenly, remembers her smile earlier, and how alone she looks now. A surge of affection hits him right beneath his breastbone.

He checks his watch and then catches her eye.  Tilting his head towards the living room, he says, “Hey. You wanna eat some ice cream and watch some Colbert before bed?”

She smiles just like she did earlier and kisses his cheek. “Sounds nice, Pete.”

Maybe the whole day wasn’t lost.

As May heads to the sofa and switches the TV on, Peter catches sight of the Magic 8-Ball from the corner of his eye. He walks over and gives it a shake.

Outlook good.

*

*

----

tagging: @bylerboyfriends @ravens-starker-stuff, @starker-rays, @ironspiderstarker, @notfor-temporaryuse, @tabbycat1220, @sugarfreecult, @rebel13lion39, @muse-of-gods

[milky-maid-library]

I Am Sorry, Here is why:

Hello to smut writers on Tumblr,

My name is Milky and in the past others have known me as Miss Hush…and before that I was Shellberry. I intend on keeping Milky longest.

It’s something I really want to get off my page since I’m a desperate believe that kink is not a safe place for minors and minors need to stick to school and real world problems or pg+ 13 fanfiction.

I first signed up to AO3 in 2014. Let that sink in. My birthday is 3rd October 2001 (I’m a libra bishes). It was just after my 13th birthday I signed up to AO3 and began writing my first romance fanficitons under the name Shellberry WITH THE ABSOLUTE WORST PUNCTUATION AND GRAMMAR.

I began watching porn out of curiosity and discovered hardcore bdsm straight away. (Id like you all to note that I had never really used laptops until this point and time, I had started living with my grandparents at the start of 2013 after I ran away from my abusive household.) I was prone to this shit without guidance or anyone to tell me what I was doing was wrong. I also was told most of my life that I was “mature for my age” and believed that gave me a right to be viewing ‘adult content’. I then realised I loved reading and writing more and more than watching porn.

I came across my first Kidnapping/non-con fic and was blown away by the scariness and creativity in the plot. And I saw that smutty fics were getting a lot of attention in views and comments. As a victim of abuse I YEARNED for praise and attention… I then began a naughty habit of copyright in which I would steal and reword smut stories. One day I copied from a book called Mackenzie’s Mountain (still one of my favourite smutty books hehehe) and yea…. I was called out. It wasn’t long before I deleted my account. By this point it was 2016, I was now calling myself Miss Hush. And the habit vaguely continued, I tried writing the spy type genre with a fanfiction (still in my files) called A Game of Love.

Take note 2016, the presidential election was on. And I come from a incredibly conservative household and even though I lived in Australia….I cringe incredibly hard now….I was happy to call myself a trump supporter (but his propaganda is very convincing for young 14-15 year old me). I am no longer a trump supporter as of early 2020. I really started to talking to other people and realising that oh my god I’m a sheltered country mouse without realising it. Where does this play? Well I have been a Christian by choice since I was nine years old….and in 2016 I felt that writing fanfictions were dirty and wrong and if I continued to watch porn or think too sexually before marriage, I would be going to hell…. SO my writing floundered a lot and I couldn’t keep up with my updating promises. It continued to be like this until I gave up in 2018, I stopped writing for a very very, very long time…and then I confessed to a adult smut writer my true age and they were quick to explain to me what I was doing was wrong and needed to be rethought out. SO I deleted my account again.

2019 I came back but organised and under the name Milky Maid no more editing and claiming peoples fanfictions. I was still a minor, aged 17. I vaguely held that “Im told im mature its ok” mentality in my head. I started Yo hoe ho and A Lesson In service, both with girls around 16-19 (I need to recheck their ages).

I’m taking those fics down btw because they need editing and I just don’t feel comfortable with the way I left hem uncompleted.

The year is 2021, I am now 19 and I have upbranded myself to Milky Maid Library. So why am I confessing all of this?

Because of shame. I feel terrible that for so long I’ve lied or made myself appear innocent? I think a apology is due to every adult that I lied to back in the day (what’s ironic is I would say “I’m 19” but now I am actually 19 which is crazy and makes me feel old and embarrassed of kid me). I am sorry to you all, I am sorry to those who I stole from…not that I actually remember the names which could be seen as worse. I am sorry that I attempt to be a high and mighty wise woman when I have coincidentally been in the spot of those I disapprove of. I am ashamed I didn’t stop and live my life appropriately. I am sorry that I gave false hope to readers that didn’t realise I was writing porn and essays at the same time.

I need to make this clear, I don’t believe minors should interact with adults. I wish I could go back in time and stop myself from entering this realm too early. I am sorry I did this. I hope I didn’t hurt anyone, but I could have possibly.

I will be sending this post to those who I remember talking too. This needs to be confronted, I want to make amends….lol look at me being Bucky…

Thankyou to all that have read this post, I will not be surprised of have any ill feelings to those who want to unfollow, comment/reply critiquing my choices.

[mickeysmyheart]

⚠️This is very long so you don’t have to read it or post it I just wanted to share how I thought the ending would have made people at least satisfied with the ending ⚠️

How each persons storyline should have ended

Frank’s-good ending. The floating was weird. I’m kind of upset that out of his all things his (dementia,alcoholism,overdose, his failing liver) they decided to kill him with COVID something he showed no symptoms of.

Liam- it should have shown Liam reading Frank’s letter. Seeing him read the letter and getting emotional over what frank said about him and Frank’s voiceover as he smiles when he reads his part in the letter would have been great. The idea of the letter should have been to have the one person that cared about him read it, which was Liam. People may say this would have hurt Liam but I think it would have gave Liam some sort of closure just letting him know that frank loved him and cared for him more than the Gallagher’s and Liam did care about frank more than anyone so for Liam this may have just made him happy to know that his mission of helping frank and making sure Frank felt loved was fulfilled.

Ian and Mickey-This may be a little controversial but I think Ian and Mickey should have ended their story with getting married. The whole relationship and really what made people love this relationship was the fact that nothing could break them up because what they have is special, it’s true love. Them being sperated so many times and being brought back together so many times was kind of what people loved. Not so much the being torn apart part but more of the coming together because they love eachother and that they have true love that can’t be broken. Them getting married is the perfect way of showing that it’s real this time they will be together till death do them part. JW’s ending was great on paper. Mickey telling Ian how he felt about being a dad, Mickey acting like he forgot about their 1 year anniversary when really he wanted to surprise Ian. Great on paper but unfortunately JW did an awful job of showing this finale storyline he could have had an emotional, important, and impactful storyline but instead he had a storyline about Mickey arguing about a potato masher, Mickey talking about getting a blow job, deleted important scenes, and just a underwhelming ending overall. I’m still mad there was no mutual ily. Since they got married last season and there’s nothing we can do to change that now I think the last scene was great, them dancing around in the alibi where Mickey came out celebrating their 1 year anniversary. I just wish JW did a better job at adding a more emotional or just impactful finale rather than a bunch of scenes that meant nothing and two important scenes

Lip- It should have ended like it started. Lip being happy fixing his house. I think it should have been him in his new house looking at it from the outside and seeing that his hard work has finally paid off. Jw decided to leave lip broke with a kid on the way and still having to support Liam considering he promised Liam a home (which as we can tell he is not getting anytime soon), having a job as a delivery driver, and started smoking again. Again very sad and underwhelming storyline that Jw managed to mess up.

Debbie- the season shouldn’t have been purely Debbie angry at lip I feel like they should have had Debbie be angry at lip for about two episodes max and then her finally coming to terms with having to move so she ends up buying the apartment that she was looking at with Franny. The last episode should have been her at her new apartment and lip comes to visit her and she expresses that she feels alone and lip tells her that he is right there next to her and just because they don’t live under the same roof doesn’t mean that he won’t be there for her and that he is just around the corner and whenever she needs him or any of the Gallaghers they will be right there. This would then give Debbie some peace of mind and the last scene should be Debbie hugging Franny maybe sitting on a couch watching TV, both with a big smile on their face.I feel like this could have gave there be a more emotional storyline rather than a petty unimportant storyline which would have caused less hate towards her.

Carl- his ending was good the whole episode was terrible with his storyline but at least they gave him a good ending where we can imagine him in the future buying The alibi and running it and possibly saving up money to buy a home and starting his life

Kev and V-The episode should’ve ended with them agreeing to move to Kentucky because we know that they will be fine in Kentucky considering Kevin already has a job there promised to him and V potentially has a job in government this would have let the viewers imagine their life in Kentucky and leaving it up to the viewers to imagine how their life in Kentucky would be while still leaving us with a good and secure ending considering they are planning to buy the condo which already leaves the viewers with imagining a stable home and job in a good neighborhood for Kevin and Veronica and their kids .

Hi so I read all of this and your ideas are good! But I do have to say that you're expecting too much from a show that's done nothing but disappoint fans for years lol

I thought that considering how this show has been going the last few years that the ending we got was as good as it was ever gonna be.

I do think they could have given us at least 1 more episode just to tie some things up like this finale felt more like the penultimate episode instead of the series finale it was

For Frank, the floating thing is dumb but it's symbolic. It's his soul watching over his family and friends and seeing them happy and knowing they'll be okay eventually.

I liked that the letter was read by him. It was a very nice callback to the pilot and that's def why they did it. And why they had them sing that song since it was also in the pilot.

Liam reading it would be a nice way to end his whole sl with Frank but ultimately, frank was a neglectful shitty parent, maybe not to liam but to his other kids and I think their objective with not having any of the kids know in that moment that frank died is because frank never cared about them and they learned not to care about him so the point of them not finding out, imo, hit the mark. This show was never about the children wanting the parents love and approval, it was about these children taking care of each other and being there for each other because their parents were neglectful

I do agree that frank dying from covid was fucking bs. Like now we don't know if the kids or any of them got covid cause they were in contact with him like you're giving us this entire sl of how dementia is slowly killing frank but then he dies cause of covid??? I get he'd be way more prone to catching it and it actually killing him but then why heavily show his decline with dementia only for covid to take him out. That's def a big fault I have with the finale

As for Lip, I think it would have been nice to see him get a legit offer or him with his new place but I like that his ending was very open. As we know, Lip is a genius. Even after years of not being in school or working with computers he was still able to help that guy with his exchange thing in 2 seconds. And like frank said, lips just too stuck in his own way. I think with him possibly having a 2nd kid, it will kick him into high gear and he'll find a way to get them a house and get himself a good job to support them. His ending shows that yeah he might be down right now but don't count him out because he will find a way to support his family.

For ian and mickey I def disagree with you. I absolutely loved seeing them as husbands this season. Yeah they bickered for too many episodes but it's also accurate af. Couples bicker. My parents have been married over 30y, they bicker constantly. But aside from bickering we got to see them grow as a couple. We saw mickey attempt to get a legal job because it would ease Ian's mind. We saw Ian want a better life for them. We saw them get an apartment and start their own business together. We saw them communicate about what they want within their marriage. We saw them discuss children and past traumas surrounding that. We saw Ian comfort mickey when terry died. We saw Ian comfort mickey when he said he didn't wanna be like terry or that he would be a shitty dad like terry. I think their ending was definitely the best one out of everyone. They're happy, in love, just celebrated a year of marriage, they have a business, a home, and the door is open for them to have children. I thought that it was a great way to end their story. It left it open enough for us to imagine them in their new home and discussing kids then making the moves to try and have one.

Debbie I fucking hate so idgaf how her story ended lmfaoooo but what I did hate was how she kicked sandy to the curb for wanting them to ditch but then this new psycho bitch Heidi says the exact same thing and she's all maybe. I hope she goes and leaves franny and Ian and mickey adopt her lol

Carl's whole cop sl was annoying af but I did like his ending. I like the idea of him potentially buying the alibi with Tipping and yeah a cop bar is not ideal but I think it's nice imagining him getting back to his roots u know? Living in the south side, working at a staple of the South Side. He could even live in the apartment above it. I rly liked his ending. It gave us a lot to imagine or hope for for him.

Liam, we know he's going to be great. We saw future him in franks hall of shame and he's this successful beautiful man and he looks happy. He deserves it. But also he said they all have money in the Gallagher future so that's why I'm just thinking of that and that's why I'm okay with how it ended cause I know they'll all be okay

For kev and v, I agree we should have seen them moving already but I get why they didn't. The Alibi didn't sell yet but we know they'll move. They sold their house, they put a deposit on a condo across from Vs mom, they have jobs lined up. I'm good with their ending cause we know what they're going to do and we know they'll be happy, even if it's not a permanent stay, they'll make anything work together.

Thanks for coming to me with your thoughts or hopes for how it should have ended. Sorry I steamrolled and told you my opinions but I figure it'd be okay since you came to me lmaoooo

[sohnkissed]

hi! I just wanted to say, in regards to your last post, that I'm so sorry. If any tags on posts I've reblogged from you made you upset and/or uncomfortable, I totally understand. I know that I am prone to saying some pretty weird and sometimes even borderline foul stuff in my tags, but at the end of the day the last thing I want is for anyone to be upset by the things I say. If there's any thing I could do to mitigate that, I am more than happy to oblige! I will delete any reblogs/tags if need be, literally anything.

hi there. thank you for understanding and taking the time to send me this. i don't want to give the impression that i'm shaming anyone or trying to tell them what to do on their blogs (i know i seemed a little harsh on my post, and i apologize for that. today has been very hectic for me irl), but it can be a little overwhelming at times?

it's not just any one person, so please don't feel like i'm calling you out specifically or anything (you're fine, please don't worry too much). there's just a lot of other people who get very candid and intense, and it's just really off-putting when there are six or seven strangers in my tags semi-frequently talking about wanting to get railed or railing someone in detail.

i really don't want anyone to think that this is a "uwu don't sexualize my bias! he's a small bean" infantilization kind of thing. everyone's free to do what they want on their blogs! and it's great that people feel comfortable because they should! but it's a little invasive and overwhelming when it's in the tags and notifs where muting people and curate my feed aren't really possible if that makes sense (i'll elaborate a little more in the tags since this is getting long).

but thank you again for being kind and replying. i really appreciate it TT

[askmalal]

The heretic was bruised, beaten, the bones of his left hand crushed, his lips swollen. Dried blood had gathered beneath his nose, beneath his jaw, and on the inner tunic of his shirt.

Arbitrator Caractus was unhappy. They’d simply thrown the man into an interrogation cell, and expected her to register his information before he was handed off to... well, she wasn’t entirely sure. But she didn’t think anyone came back from it. The Inquisition? Perhaps. But the Arbites didn’t much care for the Inquisition. Prone to corruption. For all their faults, the Arbites were ruthless opponents of corruption. Even their worst enemies admitted that they may have been sadistic bastards, but they were bastards who always had a paper trail to document that sadism... Marielle Caractus was not sadistic. But she never really -had-met her father...

“Name?”

The heretic smiled. “Marcus Tertullius.”

He didn’t cackle madly. He didn’t laugh. He simply smiled. Almost... it was almost polite of him.

“Citizen Tertullius, you have been charged with...” she skimmed down the list. “Well, my. What an interesting evening you had!” She cleared her throat, “Distribution of heretical texts with the intention to incite civil disobedience. Possession of an outlawed weapon. Vandalism in the First Degree.Attempted sabotage of public works. Theft of Imperial Property. Threatening a member of the Urban Cohort. Threading an Arbitrator. Possession of bomb making materials. Shall I enter your pleas?”

“May I have a handkerchief, please?”

She passed one over. He nodded his thanks and cleaned the blood from his face. “To the first charge. I admit to owning the material and distributing it. I do not admit guilt in owning an heretical work, however.”

“You are aware that this is a banned work, and has been so since at least M32?”

“It wasn’t as if I had a copy of the Necronomicon, Arbitrator.” His voice was calm, pleasant.

“No. There were no M1 era Gallic texts on mortuary practices. Nor fictitious works of supernatural study in your possession, Citizen.”

Marcus smiled again. “My. You are well educated, Arbitrator.”

“And to the others?” She said, moving on.

“Intention to cause civil disobedience? While I contend this is a matter of,” he spat blood into the handkerchief, “of free will, I plead guilty. Absolutely, unabashedly guilty.”

She nodded, “You had in your possession an illegally modified Imperial Guard issue laspistol.”

Marcus laughed for the first time. “Imperial Guard issue. That is rich. It’s a family heirloom. I think you’ll find it is an antiquity. A legacy of an ancestor who fought for one of the Emperor’s sons in the Imperial Army. And I didn’t modify it one bit. I merely kept it clean and functional. Shame your jack booted morons had to damage it. Real history there.”

She frowned, “Can you substantiate that claim?”

Marcus nodded, “You will find the registry number, and the license we hold for it, and have, for literally ten thousand years.”

“Vandalism.”

“Guilty. Though I think it was an improvement.”

“You sprayed the words ‘cocksuckers’ across the statues of four different heroes of the Imperium. I hardly think it was an improvement.”

“Art is very... subjective, granted. They were Ecclesiarchs. Two were subsequently executed. I hardly think that qualifies as heroic, with or without the executions. Do you have a problem with art?”

Marielle raised an eyebrow, “No.”

“A problem with cock suckers then, Arbitrator?”

She smirked, “Art is a luxury wasted on the insane.”

“And cock suckers are wasted in a clerical life.” He coughed, covering his mouth, “the plea is guilty.”

“You do not seem to have much of a fear of the punishment which awaits you, Citizen Tertullius.”

“Fear is a luxury wasted on the faithless, Arbitrator.”

He was, by all rights, inviting a beating. And yet, his eyes were placid, he was fully lucid. He was not ranting or raving. A madman nonetheless. Beatings? Those were wasted on madmen.

“Attempted sabotage of public works.”

Marcus considered this. “I rather think I was successful, I didn’t merely attempt it.”

“It says here that you attempted to slice into the internal holonet data feeds for the administratum complex.”

“I did not,” Tertullius smiled, “I did not attempt it. I succeeded. Uploaded my data packet.”

Arbitrator Caractus scowled, “No virus was detected. Pictures, text then? Something about ‘cock suckers’ again, Citizen Tertullius?” Was he some sort of pervert? Was that his angle? Perhaps they’d labeled him a heretic misunderstanding his intent. Criminal, but..

He laughed, briefly. It was painful, and he was forced to cover his mouth again. “No. Copies of that so-called work of heresy. Self-Replicating.”

“I see.” She frowned. “So it is a sort of virus then. We should have it scrubbed.”

Marcus shook his head. “No need. It’s done it’s work already.”

She would have to look into that later.

“Bomb making materials?”

“Not guilty.”

“Proscribed chemicals and a timing mechanism were found in your apartment, Citizen.”

“Not an explosive. A smoke charge. Drives the sensors on the local police autocars crazy.”

“Smoke bombs are classified as explosives under the Proscribed Civilian Weapons Act, Explosives: Chapter 7, section 14, Amendment 457a.”

He shrugged. “I would clap, but the bastards broke my left hand.”

“Citizen,” she sighed, “your records are clean to this point. You make a better salary than most. You have a clean apartment and you own your own autocar. What could possibly motivate such behavior?”

Tertullius’ face was blank, but his answer was sincere. “Faith.”

“The Holy Books of our faith do not...” Marcus interrupted her, and his voice was hard. “Your faith. Not mine.”

“That is blasphemy, Citizen.”

“So is all of this,” he threw up his good arm, manacled to the left, gesturing, “all of it.” So. Now the ranting was come. She steeled herself.

“Be careful, citizen,” she cautioned, “you haven’t expressed such beliefs that can cause you significant pain. They might even be mercifully quick about it...”

“I do not fear your Inquisitors.”

“You should,” Marielle’s retort was sharp.

“When I was a Navy Armsman, oh, round about the time you probably began your training, I watched the Marines Malevolent vaporize a colony of monastic gardeners because they had evidence that an icon to a false god was being hidden in their vicinity. They killed them all. Burned their city. And found they’d got the coordinates wrong. The captain of my ship, he was horrified. Couldn’t do anything. I heard, a few years later, filing the report ended his career. The man had a Navy Cluster. He was a legitimate hero.”

“I am unsure how this affects your plea, citizen. I believe we are just about done here.”

“You asked me about my faith, Arbitrator. I do not lie. I lost my faith that day. It was the latest in a string of atrocities, acts of cowardice. Things that made my blood boil and my heart ache. Turns out, however, that I didn’t completely succeed as an atheist. That icon, you know. Of the false god? Our search parties never found it. Not officially. But... you know..” he leaned forward, beaming, “we did. Four of us. Miles away, in some bombed out bunker from generations past. It was a little thing. A book, the cover embossed with a circle, half white and half black and a pictogram I didn’t recognize. An archaic Terran text it turns out.”

“You should have turned it in, then.” Marielle sighed, “That’s another charge. They will likely execute you for it.”

“Oh, but we did, Arbitrator. To the Captain. After I’d read it cover to cover, of course.”

“Sweet Emperor, man! Do you want to be executed?!”

“Not particularly. But I have done my duty. I am at peace.”

“You are a madman” Marielle shook her head. “A lunatic. Those books. They say horrible things. They do horrible things. And now we’ll have to arrest otherwise innocent people, since you so kindly uploaded the damned thing to the data feed, and.”

“No. Not that one. What I uploaded came later. Though I suppose it could inspire a kind of madness.”

Marielle closed her notebook, “I think it’s time we parted company. You are of no use to anyone but...” she shook her head, “but them, now.”

There was a code burst, illuminating her helmet feed, and she switched it on for a moment, listening. “Yes,” she said to the other end, “come on ahead.” Caractus turned her attention back to Tertullius, “Arbitrator Webb will take your to your holding cell. I suggest you make peace with your maker.”

Tertullius smiled, “We are broken in his crucible to be reforged in his anvil.”

Cripes. A looney. An eerily calm looney. But a looney just the same. He said little else, and when Webb arrived, she merely passed him on with a shake of the head. “Lost cause, Dub.”

Webb shook his head, sympathetically, as best a man built like an aurochs could. “That’s a shame. I’m sure you got something useful from him. You always do with these things, Mary. See you on the flipside.” Webb’s powerful frame seemed to diminish the half-broken Tertullius; the man put up no fight but showed no fear. Whatever he had to say, he had said it. She watched her them go and shook her head again. What a waste.

Marielle turned her eyes back to the helmet feed, blinking away the messages that had filled her inbox. At last, she came to it. A text file.

“COMMON SENSE,” it read, “by Thomas Paine.”

More lunatic nonsense. She was preparing to delete it when another code burst came through. Webb again, “Just couldn’t stay away, eh Dubb?”

“Well. No. But... I’ve got some good news for you, Marielle. You get to go off duty just a bit early. Maybe we could get dinner?”

“Sure. But... why?”

“Well, we’ve been dating for three years, and I thought maybe we should take the bold step of dining together now and again.”

“No,” Caractus rolled her eyes. “Not that. Why the early shift?”

“Oh. That. Well, your interrogation tonight. Your vandal-cum-mad bomber-cum-heretic...”

“Yes. The calm, creepy one.”

“Pretty calm now. He’s dead. Died of injuries in the waiting pen.”

“What? You literally just picked him up.”

“Not really true. I picked him up hours ago. The street squad beat the hell out of him. We were hoping he’d stabilize before we brought him up to you.”

“Brought him up?!” Marielle blinked, “Again?”

“What do you mean ‘again?’”

“Are you joking, Dub?” She frowned.

“Oh, come on Mary. I’m sorry you didn’t get a chance to talk to him before he died. But better for him. Wouldn’t have survived the Inquisitors. But, if it makes you feel any better,” Webb’s voice reassured, “I am sure you would have got something useful out of him. You always do with these things.”

[flightysquip]

any tips on getting back to a fic you haven’t written anything for since uhhhh last year?

ahh i’m so AWFUL about this myself.  this is why nanowrimo works so well for me, it generally forces me to output a lot and finish projects.  however, as far as my advise with wips, at least with what i do:

1. reread what you’ve written so far.  this might not be necessary for you, of course, but my memory is absolutely atrocious.  this helps me remember what dynamics and plot points i’ve already touched on.  it also helps me fall back into my writing style, and tends to kickstart ideas in my head about where to go/how to progress

2. find some external tools for motivation.  what helps me a lot is making playlists and obsessively listening to them, but sometimes finding images that fit your characters/ships, or memes, or tv shows/movies, or even reading (*i usually find that reading fic when trying to write doesn’t help me though, so ymmv on that, but books written by people who’s writing you respect--the only reason i don’t go the fic route is that like i am transparently prone to mimicking writing styles--that’s really what writing is, let’s face it--but i find it ickier/less morally sound to mimic another free content creator, ESPECIALLY if they’re writing the same ship or concepts as me, than mimicry of, say, some established published author)

3. get yourself a hype partner.  the fun thing about fanfic is the communal aspect to me, the fact that you’re creating for people who are naturally predisposed to enthusiastic enjoyment.  obviously the communal nature of fandom has died out a lot now compared to how things were before, unfortunately, but i’ve still managed to meet some cool people who share my enthusiasm and enjoyment of fan content, so i hold out hope it’s still possible.  i know some people like to lead with the ‘will you beta what i’ve written so far’ thing, and that’s good if that works for you (and it’s probably more socially acceptable to ask for editing assistance than outright saying “please hype my writing right now”), but since i don’t even want to think about editing until i’ve completed my first draft (whether that’s per chapter or per full work) that doesn’t work for me personally.  but find yourself someone, someone you trust and with compatible enough overlapping interests, who you can gush about your latest wip with.  maybe it’s just exchanging plot points and ideas.  maybe it’s giving them a snippet of what you’ve written so far.  let them hype you up.  there’s no shame in seeking out kindness and validation, and it can absolutely be the kick in the pants you need to hear someone say “this concept rocks, i want to read more of it!”

4. alternatively, if you prefer a less personable approach, you can post a few concepts and ideas on your blog.  let people comment or interact or ‘like’ your ideas.  this really works better though if you aren’t so concerned with spoiling people, of course (granted, you can tailor the posts too to exclude spoilers.  vaguepost about your plot!  it’s your blog, no one can stop you)

5. prioritize your writing.  some people find structure helps--setting a specific time a day to just sit down and focus specifically on writing.  your story is worth telling, and you’re worthy of allowing yourself the time to write it.

6. all words are good words, and the amazing thing about the written word as opposed to spoken is you can always go back and rearrange or delete or change things.  word-vomit into your document and try not to worry about quality.  nothing is ever going to be as pure and perfect as the theoretical fic in your head, but until we can make machines to plug directly into our minds and dump our subconscious shipteases into our readers’ heads directly, we’ll have to settle for the messy art of transposing these beautiful dynamics into imperfect, tangible words.  you can always edit.  it doesn’t matter how impractical or ooc or cliche the first take is.  you can fix it.  a bad first draft on a chapter doesn’t invalidate the polished chapters you’ve composed before

anyway, honestly, i cannot stress enough, your story has value, your words have value, your ideas have value, and the world will be a better place with the addition of your story.  the joy that fanfiction brings people globally is worth more than a lot of people may want to admit.  you’ll never know what person might be out there right now, searching for the exact concept, writing style, ship, and dynamic as you’re composing, and the more work your pour into your craft, the more net-joy you will produce in the world.  creation is powerful and the fact you’ve already started, never mind how long ago, proves that you, too, are powerful.  you are powerful, you are valuable, you are worthy, and you are going to create wonderful things.  the worth of your work is inherent, simply by virtue of coming from you.  and if you think about it, isn’t that pretty amazing?  isn’t it incredible, that you have the capacity to not only imagine worlds and plots and dialogue and interactions, to build universes that others can enjoy, that you not only have the capacity to imagine, but the tools with which to communicate those ideas to an audience?  whether that’s an audience of one or hundreds, your story matters.

and i’m proud of you, for being vulnerable and brave and strong enough to go through the rigor of writing.  the world needs the story that only you’re capable of writing.  go out there and kick some ass.

[ventoaureoimagines]

💻La Squadra Group Chat Headcanons💻

in an au where a shared discord server would be possible, only very serious headcanons at mod doppio headquarters you see

Prosciutto:

The reluctant moderator of the chat. Originally, La Squadra all had equal mod privileges, but months of them gradually proving themselves to be unworthy of any position of power on the server led to Prosciutto entirely taking over the rule-enforcing.

He hardly participates other than to give Pesci some curt encouragement once in a while, and has gotten dangerously good at skimming a week’s worth of messages within minutes for anything he needs to mute somebody over.

Pesci:

Really trying his best to fit into the social atmosphere of La Squadra. Sometimes deletes even perfectly normal messages out of shame, and the most likely to be discouraged by a few minutes without anybody replying to something he wrote.

Every few days, he sends something in the meme chat, but all of them are outdated by anywhere from a few months to a few years. He still uses Advice Animals and the carefully chosen, locally sourced Lolcat.

Ghiaccio:

Prone to ALL-CAPS RANTS about whatever pissed him off on that day. Between his furious messages, you can see Prosciutto reminding him to keep it to the rant chat because he's spamming the general one.

Plays fast and loose with the rules of the server (i.e. doesn’t care at all).

Formaggio:

One of the most active members of the server. Takes plenty of selfies (of himself and his cat), and was the one who originally suggested making a selfie chat in the first place. Most of his photos of himself have joke filters on them. 

Proud founder of the meme chat, and its most active participant. He very regularly sends jokes that are either just barely within the rules of the chat or get him muted for five minutes.

Melone:

Doesn't use the group chat much, but when he does it's usually something that gets him muted for increasingly long amounts of time.

His messages usually range from vaguely disturbing to surprisingly normal, but most of his social media presence is elsewhere anyways. Occasionally agrees with whatever Ghiaccio’s saying just to get him to pipe down.

Illuso:

An infamous lurker. No matter how quickly the message was deleted, he saw it and probably took a screenshot. Has an encyclopedic memory of any dirt anybody ever exposed on themselves, and very smug about it. Infinite receipts.

When he does send a message, it's usually a selfie or confirming mission details.

Risotto:

Posts almost solely in their work chat, where he'll post the details on their next job, or more often reminders of where they're to meet up next so he can tell them face-to-face.

He'll offer one or two words of approval for someone's selfie, but other than that he uses the server for work purposes only.

[lucarioisinthevoid]

What's the void like? And how does one get there?

Henrygave the person a long look. “The void… is beyond the human limitation ofperception. It is nothing, but in this, it is everything. To be nowhere, youneed to be everywhere at once, to hear nothing is to be subjected to everysound possible and impossible. The head is empty and filled with all there isto know- a being finding itself in the void is to dissolve instantly as itloses the sense of self-“ “YOU BETTER LOSE YOURSELF! IN MOM SPAGHETTI! IT`S READY! DON`T YOU EVER LET ITGO!” Henry´s knuckles became slightly white as he ignored the kid. “You cannotbreathe, yet you cannot suffocate either, as you lack the lungs to do so… I dohope you are having now a basic grasp on the range of sensation one is prone toencounter upon first entering the void. Everything I mentioned and all that issimilar will happen. Now, you must surely ask yourself how I am currently ableto speak to you, let alone how the senseless creature in my company stillexists. The answer is simple and logical: As the void is nothing andeverything, it takes only basic mental effort to shape it… provided you surviveand overcome the initial sensory overload, which I was able to, as my legacyrefuses to allow me to become one with the void. There is a task for me tofulfill and nothing will ever be powerful enough to compel me to stop pursuingit. I have crafted this space to be able to plan my escape… it cuts me off fromthe infinite knowledge, yet that knowledge means little as the human braindeletes it in an instant of being cut off. Sadly, it was not made for infiniteinformation. For now I am watching… waiting… the walls are growing thinner.” “Aren´t you an ominous piece of shit.” “At least I do have defining qualities. To your question as to how one entersthe void… I am currently not sure as to how a human could manually achieve sucha feat, yet the shadow dog is able and willing to banish creatures thatthreaten his status as god-“ “Or annoy him!” “- into this place, fearing the soul to return if the creature is simplybiologically ended. After my various experiments that brought me close togodhood, the dog rallied his most powerful allies and attacked at an inopportunemoment, rendering me defenseless to struggle against his efforts to relocateme.” “Pff, relocate. I think that is the wrong word, but whatever.” “It sounds more pleasing and dignified than explaining that he bit into my legand simply dragged me through a portal… we both are supposed to be creaturesbeyond that.” “Yeah… no, it´s fine I think. He´s still a doggo after all. Welp, asker, I gotbanished here because I wrote a Henry/Henry fanfiction and I know I deserve it. The lord and dog came in and barked me straight out of existence, his eyes full of disappointment.”“Do not remind me.” “If I get asked, I´m telling the truth! It´s still up on Wattpad after all,denying it will only make look like more of a wimpy ass.” “You have no shame.” “It was supposed to be a joke!” “What part of it? You wrote it down after all, at that point no one will everdefend you.” “I thought it was funny… anyway, I´m already stuck here, cut me some slack!” “Oh, how I wish I could make this place collapse on you so you would perish.” The kid sighed. Mistakes were made, yeah, but at least SOMEONE got a giggle outof it. And honestly, the void wasn´t half that bad- if you had your safe littlepocket dimension. So… not the void, but an empty pocket dimension wasn´t allthat bad. Anyway, hopefully the asker was satisfied.

[shirlleycoyle]

Why This Teen Walked Away From Millions of TikTok Followers

This is part of a special series, The Future of Fame Is the Fan, which dissects how celebrity became so slippery. It’s also in the latest VICE magazine. Subscribe here. 

Sixteen-year-old Ava Rose Beaune was hanging out at a friend’s house on an otherwise unremarkable mid-July afternoon when her cell service briefly shut off. She tried to text her dad, but it wouldn’t send—definitely odd, she thought, but not alarming.

Then people started messaging her: Did you see what’s on your Twitter? Your Instagram? What’s going on? She logged on to her social media accounts and saw that her new Facebook status alluded to suicide—but she hadn’t posted it.

“My whole family thought I was going to kill myself,” Ava said.

Suddenly, a man she’d never met was calling her parents, demanding to speak to her. He had control of all her contacts, texts, emails, and social media accounts. The next day, he texted her: I just want to talk to you. (Spoken and written quotes from Ava’s alleged stalker are italicized to indicate they are not necessarily direct quotes but are as she remembers them.) He called her, and she answered, begging him to do whatever he wanted to her Instagram account, if that’s what he was after. “Delete it. Delete it and leave me alone if that’s what you want,” she told him. You don’t want that, he said. “I do,” she replied. I just want to meet up with you and have sex with you, he said.

“That’s when I hung up the phone, and I was like, this is getting weird,” Ava told me. This stranger had managed to hack her accounts using a method called SIM swapping, in which he contacted her wireless service carrier and convinced them that he owned the account and needed them to transfer access to the SIM card to the phone in his hand—effectively taking over her digital life.

In screenshots viewed by VICE, the hacker can be seen posting a Story to her Instagram about being Ava’s new boyfriend, issuing rape threats, and writing things like “I can’t wait til I impregnate you and marry you. you only live 5 MIN away from me.” She got her social media accounts back in her own possession and resolved the problem with her carrier. “OK, this is, you know, the end, whatever,” she recalled thinking.

With more than 2 million followers on TikTok, Ava was a minor celebrity in her own circles. So, she said, she was used to men being creepy, or even hostile. This was extreme, she thought, but it was over.

But it wasn’t. This was only the beginning of weeks of daily harassment so severe it would uproot her life entirely.

As of this year, TikTok likely has more than 1 billion monthly active users, and the market research firm Statista estimates that adolescents between 10 and 19 years old make up 32.5 percent of those users. The spiritual successor to Vine, TikTok is a micro-video sharing platform that favors an off-the-cuff, do-it-yourself style: People of all ages lip-sync to movie clips and songs, mimic elaborate dances in their living rooms, and use filters to edit the 60-second videos into tiny works of art. It’s also something of a fame lottery.

All this manic, frenetic energy combined with massive audiences is addictive in the same way any social media platform is: with casino-style scrolling and a notification system and the looming chance at virality. Normal teens like Ava—who signed with a talent agency in January 2020—become voracious consumers as well as unstoppable creators, hoping to strike it big, get discovered, or at the very least, make it to the For You feed, where one video plucked by some mysterious algorithm from a user’s feed can get in front of millions of eyeballs instantly.

“I’d rather not give those people the satisfaction of being noticed.”

Despite all this, cyberbullying experts say that TikTok isn’t the worst social media app for harassment. “The way that TikTok is built reduces the likelihood of cyberbullying when compared to other apps,” said Sameer Hinduja, the co-director of the Cyberbullying Research Center. Features like direct messaging that only allow mutual followers to contact each other, and the inability to add images or videos to comment sections, set it apart from other apps. “To be sure, cyberbullying can manifest itself in hurtful TikTok videos directed towards others, as well as in comments and in livestream chats—but these possibilities are no different than on any other social media app,” Hinduja told me.

According to TikTok’s transparency report from 2020, 2.5 percent of videos the platform removed were for bullying or harassment. But there are some features unique to TikTok that make it prone to a different, more personal kind of harassment. “Duet” allows other users to repost your video with a split-screen video of their own. Most of the time, it’s used innocently, for singalongs or miniature skits. But some users say it opens a portal for disturbing abuse. In 2018, BuzzFeed News reported that people—often young children—would duet their videos with a video of them acting out suicide, putting plastic bags over their heads or belts around their necks, to show their disgust at the original post. And a Duet from a more popular account can send a wave of attention from their followers to your page, not all of it positive.

Nick, who runs a TikTok account with his five-year-old daughter Sienna (the family goes by their first names publicly, to protect their privacy), told me that they experience Duet-based harassment on top of the usual comment section cruelty. “Some users would duet our videos and say mean, nasty things that were just not true,” he said. “In the beginning, it made us second-guess the path we were going down.”

It hasn’t stopped since they started the account, in October of 2018—and they’ve since gathered more than 14 million followers. But they have gotten better at managing it, Nick said. “Sienna is luckily very intelligent and knows that this is not OK. I made sure to sit down with her, emphasizing how special she is and that people may not see that right away.”

Nick believes TikTok does a good job of handling harassment, and giving creators the tools to handle it themselves. “If there is consistent harassment from a specific account, I block and delete their hateful comments,” he said. “For the negative comments in general, I tend to just ignore them. I’d rather not give those people the satisfaction of being noticed.”

TikTok does allow users to opt out of Duets. But these are the features that foster that slingshot fame; opting out of them means opting out of your chance at going viral or just growing your audience.

Fatima and Munera Fahiye, who are sisters and TikTok creators with around 3 million followers each, told me that they also find the platform to be responsive when they need support. “There were multiple accounts on TikTok impersonating me on the app, and TikTok helped me by verifying my account to let people know that my account is the real one,” Munera said.

Whatever harassment they do receive—which often means racist comments—they say is outweighed by the support of fans. “I have been on TikTok for a year now, and I have not experienced any harassment, but after gaining some followers I have seen some mean comments about my hijab every now and then, but I try to not give it any attention, because the love and support that I am getting from my fans is more than the little hate, so it does not matter,” Fatima said.

The harassment that happens on TikTok doesn’t stay there, however. On Reddit, whole communities are devoted to catching women and girls on social media in the middle of wardrobe slips, where you can see down their shirts, up their skirts, or anytime they shift and move and reveal a glimpse of more skin. Standalone websites are made for this purpose, too, and for doxxing and harassing women who might have a TikTok in addition to an OnlyFans or other separate adult platform.

In 2020, a server on the gaming chat platform Discord took requests for TikTok creators to be made into deepfakes—AI-generated fake porn. Although child pornography is against Discord’s terms of use, even in the form of deepfakes, one of the most requested targets was only 17. A request for another deepfake noted, “by the way she turns 18 in 4 days.”

Creators also find their content, clothed as in the originals or deepfaked, reposted to porn sites. In concert, the people on each of these platforms work together to create an overwhelming environment of virtual assault for many young women.

Until TikTok, Ava had never really been into social media, she told me on a Zoom call in her parents’ house. She was taking a break from high school distance learning; this was her senior year, spent over video chats because of the COVID-19 pandemic. “I always told myself I’d never make a TikTok because my friends all had it and I was like, that’s so cringe,” she said. “Like, I’ll never start that. But they were like, ‘Come on make one,’ so I did.”

She said she made her first account when she was 15, and posted the usual stuff: trend dances, makeup videos. Within a few days, her audience went from the friends who talked her into joining to 150,000 followers—a leap in popularity that she still doesn’t entirely understand. The sudden attention startled her; she deactivated the account.

She accidentally reactivated the account later, and at this point, having gotten over the initial shock of attention, decided to give it another try.

A rock smashed through her mom’s car window with a threatening note tied to it: I want to take you and impregnate you.

Once Ava started posting new videos, the hateful comments started. “I thought that was like the worst it could get,” she said. “It was like, body shaming and hate—the body shaming especially never bothered me, and the normal hate comments were just like, whatever.” A few users created accounts to post rape threats about her, and this did disturb her, but she took it as par for the course as a young woman online.

That is, until one of her followers started stalking her and her best friend, Gabriel. That follower messaged Gabriel, mentioning her home address and demanding to know who she was dating. “So, we’re both kind of like laughing like this guy’s obviously just some weird fan,” she recalled.

I have something planned for Ava. You’ll see in the next three months. I’m planning something big, Ava says he told Gabriel. He hacked her phone three months later, on Gabriel’s 18th birthday. After that, the man texted Ava every day.

“It was stuff about how he wants to rape me, how he’s going to get me, how I can easily stop this—he was texting my dad saying, She’s not allowed to hang out with her friends, if she goes out I’ll know. Saying he’s watching over us and stuff like that.” Every time Ava thought the situation was as bad as it could get—that this man she’d never met was going as far as he could go—he went further.

Then a rock smashed through her mom’s car window with a threatening note tied to it: I want to take you and impregnate you.

Cyberbullying has proven long-lasting effects on teens and young adults. As Hinduja noted, studies show that it’s tied to low self-esteem, depression, anxiety, family problems, academic difficulties, delinquency, school violence, and suicidal thoughts and attempts.

“So at this point I was like, ‘OK, this is getting a little serious.’”

“Most important to me is how negative experiences online unnecessarily compromise the healthy flourishing of our youth at school,” he said. According to his and his co-director Justin Patchin’s research at the Cyberbullying Research Center, over 60 percent of students who experienced cyberbullying reported that it “deeply affected” their ability to learn and feel safe while at school, and 10 percent of students surveyed said they’ve skipped school at least once this past year because of it.

“That cannot be happening,” Hinduja said.

“In general, I hope people will remember that everyone is a human being just like them. We are all capable of feeling hurt and disappointment, and just because there are numbers and a platform attached to our lives doesn’t mean we are impervious to hurtful words or harassing comments,” Nick said. “TikTok is a space where everyone should feel safe to express their creativity, and in order to do that we need to be kind to others.”

Maxwell Mitcheson, Ava’s agent and the head of talent at TalentX Entertainment, told me that he’s seen harassment take a direct toll on young people. “A lot of creators are growing up in front of millions of people, and that involves making mistakes and learning and growing from them,” he said. “The hateful rhetoric definitely weighs on them; some don’t even look at their comments section anymore just to try and stay positive.”

“It’s the inability to make mistakes, being attacked for being authentically yourself, and the sudden lack of anonymity,” Mitcheson said.

Ava’s experience was on the extreme side, he explained, but creators at his agency have had instances of hacking and stalking, or fans randomly showing up at creators’ homes. “We’ve had to involve security and PIs before, but Ava’s was a situation that could have ended in tragedy if it weren’t for the Toronto police intervening.”

After the window-breaking threat, Ava said the police told her that she couldn’t stay at home. She went to stay at a friend’s house, but he still reached her there, she said. “He just kept going saying like, look at what you’ve done, this is all your fault,” she said. He sent her a private message that would delete after it was opened, so she recorded it using a friend’s phone:

I need you to accept the fact that I’m extorting you right now, you need to accept that this isn’t going to end no one’s gonna catch me, the police haven’t ever caught me when I did this before, accept it, give me what I want, I want you to meet up at this park right behind your house I want to do this this this this to you

if you don’t I will kill your parents in front of you in your living room and take you.

“So at this point I was like, ‘OK, this is getting a little serious,’” she told me.

She said she sent the message to the police, who told her whole family to stay somewhere else, hours away. They did, for two weeks. He kept texting her: are you going to be there Saturday you’re making the wrong decision you better answer me.

Eventually, Ava recalled, he was caught. He left the VPN he was using to mask his location off for a half a second, according to her—just long enough, she remembers the police telling her, for the investigators to capture his location data and pinpoint where he was texting her from.

Ava said that the police told her that when he was caught, they found six separate phones and a bunch of SIM cards in his possession—full of pictures and videos of Ava that he’d taken from her accounts. According to the Toronto area detective Ava and her family worked with, the case is still in the courts.

Talking to me now, over Zoom, in between classes and facing midterms, Ava seems fine. She’s able to recount this story in delicate detail, without flinching. She understands the gravity of what happened to her, and how it upended her life. Her family decided to move away, “to the middle of nowhere, pretty much,” she said.

But she is different now. She stopped posting to her TikTok to focus on her friendships and family, though she still posts sporadically on Instagram. She would like to be more active on social media, but she’s not pushing herself. She has anxiety that she describes as “really bad.”

“It’s really affected me, like, you know, just like not being able to live in your own home, and like, even when you are at home, not being safe… It’s really hard, especially when I was only 16 when this happened,” she said. “It is hard, and knowing that my parents were always stressed out and not being able to go outside and walk without feeling kind of scared…”

Before she stopped posting new TikTok videos, she tried to open up on the platform in videos about her mental health and her experiences. But people weren’t receptive to it.

“Especially when they’re like, Oh, a TikTok girl that all the simps love, or What are you complaining about, all these boys love you, kind of thing,” she told me. “I’ve been trying to go to therapy and trying to get over it, but when that kind of thing happens you’re not really the same afterwards. You have a different outlook on social media. You’re kind of scared of if it’s going to happen again. You don’t think those people exist until it happens to you, and then you’re like, wow, this is crazy.”

Online harassment has a silencing effect on people of all ages and genders, but women have it especially bad—and young women are pushed offline, out of the center of conversations and control of their own narrative, at earlier and earlier ages. As adolescents, harassment online makes them do worse in school, seek riskier behaviors, and contemplate or even attempt and follow through on self-harm and suicide. As grown women, this looks like anxiety, a lack of self-confidence, not sleeping, and stepping out of the online conversation altogether to protect their own mental health, and, in severe cases, the safety of themselves and their loved ones. When harassment is allowed to carry on, and women are shamed for seeking help, the damage digs deeper—and we lose those voices.

I asked Ava what she wishes more people understood—about her, about what it’s like to have a big social media following, about how it feels to have millions of eyes on you at such a young age. “I just wish they knew that just because you have followers, doesn’t mean you have this perfect life,” she said. “Just because boys love you, that doesn’t complete your life. When these kinds of things happen, you should be able to be open about it.”

Follow Samantha Cole on Twitter.

Why This Teen Walked Away From Millions of TikTok Followers syndicated from https://triviaqaweb.wordpress.com/feed/

[making-business-matter-blog]

The Ultimate Guide to Time Management Skills

By Katy Jamieson

Take the 7 Week Time Management Challenge

What is it?

You will probably have come to this Time Management Skills - 7 Week Time Management Challenge having browsed the web for ideas, read books, posts, & time management articles.  You may have even watched videos on how to manage time or goal setting, with the desire to be more organised, less stressed, and get more done. In short, be a better Time Manager with better Time Management systems. Yet, you’ll still be searching for that special something that will make a significant positive difference to your time management.

How does it work?

If you complete all 7 exercises in the Challenge, over the next 7 weeks, you will become less overwhelmed, be more proactive, and be able to finish what you start.

The research on creating habits shows us that to make a piece of behaviour habitual we need to do it 21 times. So, you need to do each one of these for a good amount of time before it sticks. If you do ‘fall off the wagon’ this is ok, it’s a little like tuning in an old radio. Sometimes you’ll get the station, other times you’ll just hear a crackling sound, but if you keep at it you’ll eventually hear the music. One of the most effective ways to stick with it is to share what you are doing with someone else so that they can be your conscience. Find a ‘learning buddy’.

On our time management training course we train our Learners in these hurdles of course, and then 5 advanced pieces of a healthy time management system, like ‘switching’.

The Challenge

This Challenge is not about time management tips or time-saving ideas. It is about your personal time management skills and system (cue laughter). Yes, I know you think that you don’t have one, but you do. Really, you do. You may not like it, and even hate it for making you late for a meeting.  It might even clutter your brain and make you forget stuff like a birthday. But you got to work, you hold down a decent job, and you may even be doing very well. So, you have time skills and a time management system. Now that’s sorted let’s move on…

This page will take you about 20 minutes to read (this is at an average reading speed of 200 words per minute with 60% comprehension). The length of this paper has been purposefully chosen to be read in 20 minutes because this is about the maximum time we can concentrate. Is reading this document going to give you a positive return on your time invested? You decide. Just know that if you can improve your time management skills system by 0.1% each day, after 10 years it will be 1,004% improved!

I hope you find this page and the Challenge useful and I wish you every success.

Don’t Be Jealous of Dave Allen, Brian Tracy, Tim Ferriss, or the Other Time Management Gurus

...their personal time management systems wouldn’t work for you. You have to create your own system. Of course, there are tips, parts that you could use, and bits you could add-on. For right now your system is YOUR system and like your cooking skill, your ability to play cards, or how well you network, you cannot just grab someone else’s way.

You need to build your system, your way.

If you succeed in completing the Take the 7 Week Time Management Challenge you will be in the top 10% of effective time managers.

What 14 Years of Teaching Time Management Skills Have Taught Me About People Learning Time Management

People want to learn how to be more efficient and more effective with their time but they don’t have the time to!

Of course, this is ironic. A little like wanting to be better cooks. We buy the cooking books, download the recipes, watch the chefs on TV, but when it comes to it, after a long day, we choose to heat something up, rather than cook from scratch. The only difference is that whilst home-cooked food is lovely, effective time management opens so many more doors.

The key to how to manage time is about making that critical choice early. This is the key decision. Not what do we want to change in our time management skills, but how prepared are we to go out of our own way, change, unlearn some stuff, and learn some new stuff.

In my experience, people become one of 4 learners when they learn time management, based upon a subconscious decision made long before starting the training.

4 Types of Time Management Skills Learner

Learner A: ‘I’m just too busy for all of this’ - Those that Believe that They Don’t Have the Time  

Many people fall into this category. In essence, they want empathy for how busy they are. They want us to know how busy they are: How important they are. The shame is that a trainer can empathise and understand.  Unfortunately, however, all of the trainer’s time will have been spent doing that and not helping the learner with their time management.

Learner B: ‘I’m doing most of this anyway’ - Those That are Already Doing All of That

Some people attend training just to want affirmation that they are doing it already. And some are, most aren’t. They hear what they want to hear because to hear anything else means that they need to change. And change hurts, takes time and is distracting from what they really want to do, which is to get back to their desk and just work – Get their nose back to the grindstone.

Learner C: ‘I can do all of this, I know I can’ - Those That Want to Grab it All Now

There are those people that despite the friendly words of caution about not trying to grab all of the time management tips, tricks, fundamental changes, and learnings, they do exactly that. In their own mind they are saying to themselves, ‘mere mortals can’t do all of this, but I can’. Sadly, they revert back to their old-time management system some weeks later because the new one was too unwieldy to keep it up.

Learner D: ‘I can do this; Slowly and Steady’ - Those That Build Their Own System

This group has got it licked. They understand that their time management system is the right system. The foundation to build on. These people add/delete/improve one piece at a time. Like the hare and the tortoise. They have recognised that time management is the one skill that unlocks everything else and they are going to take their time to get it right. ‘Slow and Steady Wins the Day’. Like the tortoise.

Combining Kahler’s Drivers with Time Management

In 1975 Taibi Kahler identified five common drivers that motivate us: be perfect, be strong, hurry up, please others, and try hard. These drivers live in our unconscious thoughts and can be the source of positive and negative (or destructive) behaviours. By developing greater awareness of which driver a person exhibits it is possible to recognise and harness the positive benefits, whilst also being mindful of, and addressing the negatives.

Combining Kahler’s drivers with time management is very powerful. This is because whilst we can learn time management tips, the real difference comes in understanding our approach. Taking each driver in turn, this is the impact on time management:

Be Perfect

Those people with this driver will struggle to get a lot done. They will be prone to procrastinating because they’ll struggle to get it done ‘properly’. For these time managers prioritising the right tasks is imperative and, living by the phrase ‘Good enough’, for tasks that are internal, or less important.

Please Others

The risk for these people is saying yes too often. One of the biggest challenges in time management is saying ‘No’. Saying no to what is neither urgent or important. Too often people say yes and then let the person down. For these people ‘saying yes wisely’ is a phrase to live by, to please the ‘right’ people.

Be Strong

Being strong has its strength, as does every other driver. The danger of this driver is trying to do it alone. Getting it done yourself is admirable until you realise that you are a resource and a finite resource. Asking for help is sometimes the right thing to do. This is because these people cannot be good at everything. The phrase, ‘Ask an Expert’ is one to live by.

Try Hard

For the ‘Try Harders’ the risk is that they love ‘starting fires’. Getting involved in lots and then their enthusiasm tends to wane. Starting fewer things will help. Being clear on what stirred their enthusiasm at the start can help to prolong the energy. Ultimately these people need to be clear on what is needed and by when.

Hurry Up

These people are energised by deadlines and will get a lot done. Being clear on what needs to be done is important as they work well with structure. The risk is that in their enthusiasm to get a lot done, they will miss things. Drop things. Accuracy will reduce. The phrase to help these people is ‘Less haste, more speed’. Take a little more time to check their work will save time in the future.

Excuse the Interruption, but Here’s a Little Bit About Us…

https://www.makingbusinessmatter.co.uk/about/sticky-learning-method/

We are the soft skills training provider to the UK Grocery Industry, helping Suppliers to win more business. They choose us because of our money-back guarantee, our relevant experience, and because we make their learning stick.

Our unique training method, Sticky Learning ®, ensures that your Learners are still using their new skill 5 months later and this is supported by a money-back guarantee.

Become a Student of Time Management Because it’s a Life Skill

Time management skills are a category of soft skill that unlocks everything else. If you want:

better life balance - better time management will get you home on time.

more money at work - better time management will get you promoted.

to go to the gym - better time management will help you get fit.

I am a huge fan of any time management & time-saving tips, like ‘67 Time Management Tips to Quickly Increase Your Productivity’, or books like ‘Eat That Frog’, or blogs, such as ‘Perfect Time-Based Productivity’, or these 1 minute Time Management tips videos.

I find that following organisational plans like the one below also helps with my time management.  A tidy, organised and efficient workspace saves time - and often my sanity too - from no longer misplacing important files amongst the clutter!

It's a simple method to follow, organise your space into the following three zones:

Within Reach [Zone 1] - Things you need frequently, e.g. notepad.

A Stretch [Zone 2] - Frequently used files that are too big to store on desks.

A Few Steps [Zone 3] - Items such as your printer.

Think about how you could better arrange your workspace.  Are the items you use most often closest to you? If not, take some time to rearrange your space, it will pay dividends in the future!

The return on investment of spending time learning and practising time management, versus the reward, is always positive because you’ll always take something away. Sure, you can learn to get more from your learning, but at least you are learning something. Moving forward. And with time management learning something is better than learning nothing because some of it will stick. Plus, remember, that we learn more from what we get wrong than what we get right.

Tips & Tricks

The ‘rub’ is that tips and tricks will help, but they will not tackle the core of your time management that makes it healthy. A ‘healthy’ time management system is one that you trust.  It should enable you to get the most important things done, in turn, reducing your stress. Not increasing it!

My advice is to keep learning tips and tricks. Just know that of Pareto’s 80:20 law you are improving the 20% and not the 80%. If you want to continue fixing the 20% don’t read on. If you do want to improve the 80% take the ‘Take the 7 Week Time Management Challenge’ and keep reading.

The 7 week time management challenge is about addressing the very heart of your time management skills. Making it healthy. Living, breathing, fit for its job, by improving your time management system. To have healthy time management they need to jump these 7 hurdles. By doing so you’ll have addressed the core of your time management system.

The 7 hurdles to jump to have a healthy core are:

#1 - Capturing

#2 - Listing

#3 - Emptying

#4 - Deleting

#5 - Storing

#6 - Scheduling

#7 – Acting

Hurdle #1:

Capturing is about the points of entry into your time management system. Where demands on your time arrive. For example, your email inbox is a capture point. Your mind is another - Particularly, when you are at your desk remembering that you need to buy cornflakes after work, and then when you are in the supermarket you remember that you forgot to email that report earlier. Capture points can be mind, electronic or paper.

‘Healthy Capturing’ is not using your memory, having as few capture points as possible. Making sure that wherever and whenever you are, you have a place to enter, write stuff down, capture it. A little like the 6 pockets of a Pool table. Each pocket captures balls at different times and different amounts. Then they need ‘Emptying’, which we’ll come to in Hurdle #3.

Hurdle #2:

Listing is writing stuff down, be it old school with a pen & paper, or electronically with lists like ‘Remember the Milk’. Having the right amount of lists is key and you may have lists keeping track of lists, but if you trust them all then keep them all. Getting stuff out of your head is essential. It also gives you peace of mind that it is in a system that you can trust and that will remind you at the right time.

‘Healthy Listing’ is having lists that you trust and keeping them ‘living & breathing’ by emptying the lists frequently so that your brain is relaxed when it places something on the list that it will be looked at again. When your brain believes that a listed task will not be looked at again, it will instead choose to try to remember it. A little like people on your team. Some you trust to do what you ask and others, Nah.

Hurdle #3:

Emptying is about assessing and emptying the capture points frequently. For example, your email inbox is a capture point.  Most people assess and try to empty it all day, continuously trying to zero their inbox. The key to emptying is doing it at an appropriate frequency and making immediate decisions about what to do with each time demand. Then have the other parts of the time management system in place that enables you to place it somewhere else.

Healthy Emptying’ is not emptying continually, but assessing with quick decisions and then doing this process again the right number of times through the week. A little like emptying the dishwasher. If you don’t empty it the dishes will just keep stacking up until you then make more work for yourself having to empty the dishwasher, load it, and wash up.

Hurdle #4:

Deleting sounds easy, but is harder than it seems. We’ve all heard the urban myths of people getting back from holiday and deleting all their emails, declaring in an arrogant voice, ‘Well, if it’s urgent, they’ll write back’. Knowing full well that no one has ever done that, or at least no-one still employed at the same company! Considering the right question is key to effective deleting and that is ‘What is the impact if I don’t action this?’. According to research, we should be deleting 50% more of our emails than we do, which will still have little impact on our time management and performance.

‘Healthy Deleting’ gets rid of those time demands, or tasks, that don’t need to be done by you. Just because the task came into your system does not mean that you have to do it. Saying ‘Yes Wisely’ is a great way to say no to some tasks and offer options instead. Another is to delete emails that you have been copied in on. As well as having regular 121s with people that tend to brief tasks on email, maybe you could solve some tasks in the meeting, defer them, or suggest someone else. This adds to your time management skills.

Hurdle #5:

Storing is not about using your head because of the old adage, ‘The most successful people are those with the emptiest heads’. Instead, Storing is about keeping the right stuff in the right places and making it available at the right time. For example, a tool for placing websites to read later, like ‘Later this’. Stored information must be kept to a minimum and, where possible, backed-up so you never have to find all of that information again.

‘Healthy Storing’ is having a trusted number of useful storage points.  These are convenient, available and easy to use when you need to. A little like home. How many ‘messy drawers’ are there? Can you get what you need from the shed/garage when you need it or is it a bombsite? Are all your key documents (House insurance, Guarantees, Warranties, etc.) in an easily accessible & useable place?

Hurdle #6:

Scheduling is blocking out time for your time demands. At the moment you are likely to only use your calendar to book meetings. You could also use your calendar to block out project work, family time, weekly reviews, or preparing for meetings/presentations. A single calendar works best. An electronic diary is best because it allows you to book recurring events and coordinate with others. To organise multiple people meetings with external people I recommend ‘Doodle’ because it is just so easy to use.

‘Healthy Scheduling’ is a trusted diary that reminds you when you need to be reminded and at the right time. It enables you to schedule quickly and easily. A little like an experienced PA that schedules enough to keep you on track, but not too much to be hampered by it.

Hurdle #7:

Acting is getting the right stuff done. The actual doing of the work. The choice here is; can it be done in a short amount of time? Say, less than 3 minutes. Or does it require longer, like 30 minutes? Time management gurus recommend that if we can do it in a short amount of time then just do it. This is because there is no point in putting the time demand/task into your system for it to pop out 1 week later if it only takes a few minutes to do.

‘Healthy Acting’ is the key hurdle because this is where you do stuff. Make things happen. All the other hurdles lead to this one. Making decisions about what you do next is what you are paid to do and the better decisions you make the more you will be paid. A little like an athlete training all year round, it’s about the decisions on race day that really matter. Take your salary and divide it by 2,000. These are the number of hours we work per week-ish x52 weeks. This is then your value per hour. Avoid tasks that are valued at less than your hourly rate. Delegate, delete or automate them.

The Core of a Healthy Time Management System

The 7 pieces at the core of a healthy time management system fit together in the following way:

Trialists of this whitepaper found that one or two essential pieces of the time management system were of particular benefit.  It helped them highlight areas where they were weal and could improve. You will probably find a similar experience.

This is what we have discussed in this whitepaper so far.

You are someone that wants to be less overwhelmed, more proactive, and finish what you start.

You know that you need to build your time management system and not just copy someone else’s. This is because you are an individual and so your time management system needs to be as individual as you are.

There are 4 types of time management Learners and those that build their system ‘slow and steady’ make the most progress.

Time management tips & tricks will only get you so far. The 20%.

You need to make a conscious decision about how much effort you are prepared to put in because change is hard.

Before you decide whether to take this challenge you need an excellent understanding of the 7 pieces at the core of a time management system. They are; #1 – Capturing, #2 – Listing, #3 – Emptying, #4 – Deleting, # 5- Storing, #6 – Scheduling, and #7 – Acting.

You know how the 7 pieces fit together.

Ready to Take the 7 Week Time Management Challenge?

Let’s Go........

What Next?

The only challenge that remains is to keep it going! This is not easy and only those that truly commit will survive. The toughest time is when you are busiest. Don’t wait for the slow day to come because it never will. Make your system work when you are busiest because this is when you really need it to work.

You can find further insight, detailed definitions and clarification of all the key time management terms mentioned in this guide in our Glossary of Terms.

For more advice subscribe to our YouTube page and take a look at our Time Management videos:

Feel free to get in touch to find out how one of our Time Management Courses can help you. Simply fill out the form below, and we will be happy to get back to you with further information.

About Katy Jamieson

Katy is a professional PA supporting the Directors at MBM. And a qualified solicitor. Katy has a keen interest in people development and learning, writing articles on how people can achieve more by taking their commitment to learn seriously.

[pkansa]

What happens when you as a small micro-brand want to make the ultimate dive watch? The first step is, how do you define ‘ultimate’? Orange Watch Company (OWC) makes their vision a reality by optimizing each part for its job. What’s that even mean?

For OWC, it means obsessively picking the best part for the job, even if it means bucking tradition. Spring bars are weak, lousy, and prone to failure under strain. They’re annoying to remove and insert. What do they get replaced with? Torx head screws.

The bezel and crown are meant to have grip for turning. On other watches, you tend to get coin edge or scalloped finishing, because that’s what Rolex, Tudor, and Omega do. Here on the 6538 model, for maximum grip, OWC uses an even diamond knurled pattern. For their Snowflake model, they do pay homage to tradition and use the coin edge crown and scalloped bezel as most dive watches do.

The bracelet is high quality, and rather than use pins or tiny flathead screws that strip to attach just a few adjustable links, again, OWC goes a little nuts. Every link is removable with Torx head screws. The bracelet is non-tapering, which is a shame; personally, I prefer the comfort of a bracelet that tapers to a narrower clasp.

The strap is made from 100% kangaroo leather. It’s some of the softest, most supple, leather we’ve ever had the pleasure to wear.

You see, so far, how every part that’s acceptable in traditional dive watches is replaced with a part that can either take more abuse, or is higher specification?

That means we have to talk about the movement. This is a point that tends to enrage watch purists, because there’s the feeling that somehow, a Swiss watch that’s been blessed by being made where watchsmiths purify themselves in the waters of Lake Neuchatel is intrinsically better.

While there is no doubt that Swiss craftsmanship is excellent, and that historically, Switzerland has been a center for watchmaking, we shouldn’t overlook the influence of the rest of the world: Remember that the Swiss came to the US in the heyday of American watchmaking to learn from the likes of Hamilton and Elgin. It’s also worth remembering that the Swiss canceled the Swiss Chronometry contests in the 1960s, when Seiko started entering and winning.. Knowing that, it should come as no surprise that Chinese movement production exists in sort of a quantum state: there are some very poor quality movements, some very good movements (especially after QC testing), and people who are fans of the Swiss reputation that feel threatened or offended by their use.

But when you’re choosing the movement based on performance as opposed to country of origin, it makes sense to explore the Chinese offerings and use a Seagull that follows the ETA 2892-A2 design. Provided it’s been checked for quality and performs properly, it turns out to be an excellent movement, especially for running a superior dive watch.

However, due to the un-deserved reputation of Chinese movements, OWC now uses the Swiss Soprod A-10 (similar to the 2892) entirely. (The ‘Movements’ page makes a lone reference to the Seagull, “ETA 2892-A2 clone – Seagull ST-1812 – Now deleted.”) The point is, the single-minded focus is on choosing superior parts based on their performance, not their country of origin alone, whether it’s the case design, or the movement.

Speaking of case design, OWC’s cases are true compressors. The function of a compressor case is that the case back isn’t tightened fully against a rubber seal to form the water-resistance needed for depth. Instead, the caseback tightens against the case as the pressure increases with greater depths. It is inspired by the cases made by EPSA in the 1960s, but doesn’t have the two crowns associated with compressor watches. Instead, the watch is equipped with the screw-down crown, a crystal retaining ring, top and bottom O-rings (many watches use just a bottom O-ring), all of which contribute to the water resistance under pressure.

I had the chance, courtesy of a good friend, to borrow the OWC 6538 BOND model for an extended period of time. A few years ago, every microbrand was making their homage to the 6538 Rolex, the Submariner that Sean Connery wore in his turn as 007. The 6538 Rolex Submariner is characterized by being a tool watch more than the jewelry that later Submariners became. There are no crown guards. The crown is hugely oversized even by today’s standards. It’s an 8mm crown, where the common thing on watches of that time period was 4 or 5mm. The big crown looks even bigger mounted on the 38mm Submariner, as opposed to later 40mm models.

The OWC 6538 uses the modern 40mm size, gives it the same large 8mm crown without crown guards, but changes the knurling to a diamond hatching. The original Rolex used a wide coin edge on the bezel and crown, and here, the bezel uses the same diamond knurling. The bezel action is grippy, and precise. The dial is a matte black, and the sapphire crystal is double AR coated. This means that instead of seeing the sun reflecting on the crystal, you see the dial itself. It’s fantastic, and looking it at is like looking at a watch that doesn’t have a crystal on it. Again, if the purpose is time-telling, this is the best way to do it.

That’s really what this amounts to: The Orange Watch Company starts with a singular vision of the end goal, makes every part optimized for its best performance, and that’s the watch. It’s a watch where there are as few compromises as possible, and the few that are present are in the name of making the watch perform better.

If you want a no-compromises, purpose-first watch with style, I’d have to tell you to look no further than the OWC (Orange Watch Company) MS-6538 BOND. If you’re more classically-looks driven and like snowflake hands, the MS-9411 SNOWFLAKE model could be a good answer for you. In either case, these are serious, everything-done-right-or-not-at-all watches. Check them out at orangewatchcompany.com

Watch Overview

Brand & Model: OWC MS-6538 BOND

Price: pricing starts at $

Who we think it might be for: You like a classically inspired tool watch with no compromises.

Would I buy one for myself based on what I’ve seen?: Yes. It’s the right movement, the right watch. I lean between it and the MS-9411

If I could make one design suggestion, it would be: I want to make a hybrid model, MS-6538 dial in MS-9411 case, without the crown-guards. But we don’t always get what we want. All of the offerings OWC makes are cool.

What spoke to me the most about this watch: The zero-compromises-given attitude

Tech Specs from Orange Watch Company

Case size: 40mm

Height: 12.9mm

Case material: steel

Crystal: sapphire

Strap: stainless steel, iconic kangaroo leather

Movement: Swiss Soprod A10

Zero Compromises Given: The Orange Watch Co 6538 BOND What happens when you as a small micro-brand want to make the ultimate dive watch? The first step is, how do you define 'ultimate'?

[russellthornton]

How to Get Over Being Dumped: 13 Steps to Find Closure and Move On

Figuring out how to get over being dumped is never easy. It may take you weeks, months, or even years to fully recover from all the pain and heartbreak.

Saying that a breakup is painful can be an understatement. Aside from the overwhelming pain, there’s the confusion from all the unanswered questions in your head. So, learning how to get over being dumped becomes vital.

You develop a sense of hopelessness because this relationship once made you happy. You looked forward to a future that will no longer be there the next time you wake up. [Read: A guide to growing up and facing life like an adult]

How to get over being dumped

Breakups are a drag especially if you got the short end of the stick by being dumped. But like any other setback in life, it is merely a temporary phase. The quicker you realize the only way to cope with the pain is by moving on and getting over the breakup, the faster you move forward with your life. Easier said than done, isn’t it? Here are some tips to help you along the way.

#1 Sort out, and “feel” your feelings. Just like people grieve when they lose a loved one, a person who is dumped needs to feel and own those negative emotions. The break-up is still fresh. There’s no shame in feeling bad.

Ignore those who tell you that “it’s going to be okay” or “don’t feel bad.” It’s perfectly okay not to feel okay. As popular wisdom puts it, you need to assess the damage before you rebuild again. [Read: How to stop feeling guilty and start living your life]

#2 Release those pent-up emotions. It may sound cliché, but do whatever heartbroken people do. Get hammered, cut your hair, cry yourself to sleep, write a 2000-word blog post about the break-up, eat ice cream while watching romantic comedies, or open up to your best friend.

Any catharsis allows you to act out and release all that pain you feel inside. This way, you let go of those unpleasant emotions and start the healing process. [Read: How to get over a breakup and move from pouty land faster]

#3 Cease communication with your ex until emotionally and mentally sober. The next step is damage control. Stay away from the source of your pain, especially if the break-up is still recent.

Do you still have lingering feelings? You won’t be able to discuss anything in a rational manner or make sound decisions if you meet or communicate with your ex. So delete their number and remove them from social media for the time being.

#4 Absolutely NO sex with your ex. Sex with the ex is possibly the stupidest mistake after being dumped. Being in such a vulnerable state confuses your feelings. It makes you jump into impulsive decisions that you may regret later on. So even if the temptation is strong, strictly follow tip three. [Read: Sex with your ex – When it’s okay and when you need to steer clear]

#5 Stay off any social media platform that reminds you of getting dumped. We all know social media is a cruel place especially to emotionally vulnerable people. In addition to this, it oozes with photos, posts, and memories of the time spent with your ex. Do yourself a favor and log off for the meantime to prevent you from stalking your ex and revisiting old photos.

#6 Don’t rush, take your time. Moving on has no deadline. The time it takes varies per person. It may take you weeks, months, or years even, so don’t be in a rush to forget, rather let time heal your wounds. Moving on at your own pace helps you sort out your thoughts and feelings better, so no hurries. [Read: How long does it actually take to get over someone?]

#7 Sort out your thoughts: accept the facts. Now that you managed to set your feelings straight, move on by rationally accepting several facts about the breakup. The first order of business, accept the fact that your old relationship is gone and move forward with your life. There is a moment of clarity after a breakup where you finally let go of those “what ifs” of trying to win the relationship back and instead start taking your own life back.

#8 Let go of your resentment. If you truly want to know how to get over being dumped, start by accepting that the relationship had some good memories too. After rejection, people are naturally prone to hating and resenting their ex for the pain they caused them. However, carrying such emotional baggage is unhealthy and prevents you from fully moving forward.

Getting dumped tends to narrow down your vision on the painful moments without realizing that the happy moments far outweigh them. Remember your ex is also human with their own reasons. You don’t need to forgive or be friends with your ex immediately. The mature and healthy thing to do is to accept that you fell out of love and that you still have the capability to start fresh.

#9 Go out somewhere. Nothing else better clears your head and heals your hurts than a good adventure. Be it a road trip, hiking up a mountain, or backpacking in different countries, traveling is a good way to overwrite negative feelings with fresh experiences. [Read: 15 reasons why you should travel at least once a year]

#10 Distract yourself: revisit old plans and ambitions. Being in a relationship forces us to set some personal plans and ambitions aside to give time and attention to our partner. Now that you’re single, revisit and set those old plans into motion. Being productive is a good way to distract you from the breakup. Not only does it get your mind off unpleasant memories, it helps you get things done in your life.

#11 Discover new hobbies and passions. Starting new hobbies after being dumped gives you a fresh perspective and allows you to meet new people along the way. You break off from your old routine and make room for new experiences.

#12 Remember that it’s fine and awesome being single. Getting dumped always leaves the obvious question about whether you’ll entertain another relationship again. Depending on whether you’re ready, remember it’s fine to find happiness without a significant other.

Accepting this fact allows you to emotionally mature and become independent. Happiness and fulfillment aren’t only in a relationship. Being single has a lot of perks too. [Read: Why being single can be a lot of fun too]

#13 Look towards and live for the future. The final step in moving on is knowing that relationships fail sometimes. The only way is to lick your wounds, stand up, and keep moving forward. It is a fact of life only learned the hard and painful way.

Remember that even though you got dumped, you always have a fresh start. Gain strength from the lessons you learned from your old relationship.

[Read: How to mend your broken heart completely and move ahead]

There is no need to rush through the process of learning how to get over being dumped. The most important thing is realizing the only way to go is forward. Don’t lapse into the circumstances that brought you into that kind of pain.

The post How to Get Over Being Dumped: 13 Steps to Find Closure and Move On is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.