#puts u in bed. dont get out of there
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banfiyunna · 1 year ago
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I am sick with a fever but I just wanna let ybknow inwill consume ur art and hope u have a wonderful day 🐌
W. what
Socks
Clover green socks get back here hold on
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ganondoodle · 9 months ago
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i dont think i have the right to ask this, since i so rarely have the energy to reply, but .. i want my drive to draw art back and this awful depression gone (or at least made less bad..) so desperately that i will bear the shame of asking it anyway, just in the hopes of something getting that spark i had held onto for so long to light back up
though .. im not sure what i want to ask for, i guess .. anything? something you'd like to see me draw, a compliment, a question- whether zelda or oc related, a little totk rant of your own, a picture of your cat, a random fun fact-
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fatuismooches · 1 year ago
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LOL i lost my glasses recently (found them again, don’t worry) and i was stressing and what was worse was that i was working too
i’d like to imagine that dottore just comes to check on darling and they’re just stressing out because they’ve got lots of work to do (can’t be slacking off even when i’m sick. i love overworking 👍) but they can’t even see what they’re doing because they’ve lost their glasses
turns out, they were on the nightstand the whole time
i’m very forgetful and it is such a pain to forget where everything is — it makes me stress out so badly
i just think he probably wouldn’t be very amused but is probably used to it by now that he’s trying to find a solution to darling’s forgetfulness
also, how’s your day been? make sure to stay hydrated and get lots of rest too!
— (🍊) anon
Dottore acts annoyed and all at first, but as time goes on he's a bit worried about you, forgetting minor stuff is one thing, but what if something serious happens and you can't remember? He won't stand for you getting hurt while he's around. And more importantly, he wants you to live a better life, one that isn't hindered by your memory. Seeing you stressed and upset is of no benefit to either of you. So often times he finds himself working on a cure in his lab. Totally not because he cares about you too much - he just wants you to be more productive and useful to him, that's what he claims at least.
Thankfully, at the very least, you have a lot of segments to remember for you. They've learned to have hawk eyes on your glasses and any other items you're prone to losing. Perhaps at some point, they each have another pair of glasses in their room for you just in case neither of you can find it. Maybe some kind of tracker is embedded in the glasses too? A voice recording for you to listen to with places where you usually leave things. Whatever can help you find them.
Even if none of the older segments are available to help you, you still have a very reliable helper whose name is Zandy! Despite his age, he takes his job of helping you very seriously. You find it cute how he has a list of items he reads out to you that you check to make sure you have. Even though he's still a child, enhanced memory comes with being a segment.
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chiimeramanticore · 5 months ago
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waow
#before anything else i must warn this is going to be. unorganized thoughts mostly#in the last year or so ive tried to regain confidence that i am in fact plural and am not just faking it#or mistaking other symptoms for DID. shake off the denial y'know. as is so signature for this damn disorder#a diagnosis probably wouldnt even make me feel more sure lol. and also getting diagnosed for this specifically is like#the final boss of psychiatry to put it lightly lol#but when it quiets down in headspace ur always gonna feel like. maybe its over. whatever that was#it was just me and brandy for a while#but guess who had a godawful night and then a godawful morning and split a new alter ‼️‼️🔥🔥🔥🔥#he hates it here! he might hate me for creating him! im not sure !#hell im not even rly sure if im juno or brandy rn lol. my mind is just so messy today#i woke up.. when did i wake up. like 9:30 i think and its 1pm now and i haven't gotten out of bed#i don't even remember all that time passing . i couldve sworn its only been like an hour. two at most#on the one hand this has all been kinda terrible and mentally exhausting but at the same time. hey cant say im faking now LMAO#the other hand is brandy. the other hand is absolutely brandy. i am tired lol#im only posting this here so i can just like. process it i guess#ive had a weird time finding an outlet to just spew random thoughts into since leaving twitter so. sorry#idk if anyone's expecting this of me but i always kinda feel like i need some level of professionalism on this account#keyword some. i know this is tumblr#but idk if these very open posts are. annoying? weird? uncomfortable? entertaining somehow?#i know I know theres no point in worrying abt how others percieve you . knowing that hasnt stopped me from doing it lol#i dont remember where i was going w this. maybe i didnt have a goal in the first place#idk if you read this far i dont rly need u to act like u didnt see it cuz like. wouldnt have posted it otherwise#but idk why i am posting. idk what i want out of anyone who has read all this#maybe just. interact w this post in some way idk. it's actually kinda grounding for me if you can believe it#bleghh im thinkin of cheating on my weed break just to treat myself after all this. weed + a long walk would fix me
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moonsavior · 5 months ago
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Does the period tracker also know I am still too fertile for this close up right now
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moomeecore · 3 months ago
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i neeeed to post stuff that isn't mlp ... sigh
#i havent been doing a lot of smaller pieces- sketchbook and digital etc latley#its all been mlp customs & ceramics & quilting#which all take forever so theres not as many posts. and the ponies take less time than the other 2 so u get more of those.#along w my mlp rambles#not trying to do a Making Marketable Content thing here i just.#dont like when i post too much similar things in a row it freaks me out presumebly for autism ocd reasons#like. i enjoy making the posts but scrolling through my blog and seeing too much repetition of things besides my usual digital art#bothers me?#so idk i wanted to say smthn#but im only making itnworse by adding more text post!!!!!#augh i think im just hoping that if i say it it will make it happen#i shojld do that w all the rhings i have to do#i gotta finish my homeworrkk. i gotta. ask a question to a classmate bc my teacher refused to awnser (SCARY. I FEAR PEOPLE MY AGE)#i gotta put away my clothes. i gotta clean the bathroom sink .#i gotta wash some of my ponies that got messed up when family visited + some of the new ones (less important but im feeling guilty abt it)#i gotta make vet appointment for cat bc its been a while and i dont trust him not to lie to me abt his health#i gotta figure out what to do with the shelf that my cats wont let me keep organized bc they push everything off#like? use it for things they wont push off IDK#i gotta actually ask people to hang out bc otherwise i never see anybody#i gotta. get a job :/#idk man. too many things to do when i just want to work on my crafts#<- guy who gets stressed out by Having Hobbies bc it feels like too much work#litterally watching tv is like a chore#and i have to mentally schedule my time w my craft projects to make them Most Efficent#and then i sit in my bed for an hour doing nothing but scrolling aimlessly on computer#king of executive dysfunction
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6-2-aestheticsofhate · 8 months ago
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Am I an idiot who can't find it or did the Gabriel body pillow literally not come with cleaning instructions and bonus question how are you guys cleaning yours
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stuck-in-the-ghost-zone · 1 year ago
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HIII THABK U FOR THE TRIVIA AND ASHE SONG before i take forever 2 answer those or forget here is a blank ticket to please please talk about prime defenders and their AWFUL emotional literacy and processing skills i would literally love to read that essay so much ive also been thinking about it incessantly. big eyes staring up at u.png. ok ok peace out GOODNIGHT !!!! <33
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i lied actually im not going to bed im judt thinking about this ans listening to St. John on a loop now. hello catkiss.gif i forgot how youve filled me with so much joy. that cat is so fuckign cute
anyway. hi :) prime defenders huh. this is gonna be less of an essay and more of a sleepy ramble but ohhh i have so many thoughts. they all process things so differently and none of them are good at it they all need therapy so bad. ms.g where is the hero therapy why didnt you build that into w.a.t.c.h ma'am
vyncent is probably the best at actually processing things out of all of them, he just internalizes everything to the point where he wont talk about it unless hes pushed past the breaking point. vyncent is actually very.. emotionally intelligent? i want to say mature but that feels like im singling him out because hes the oldest. i just feel like because he grew up on Fauna and had to be in basically survival mode in a world full of monsters trying to kill you.. that makes a person grow up quicker than they should. i think vyncent had a good childhood and for the most part his parents took good care of him but just.. living in that world doesnt seem like it leaves room for a whole lot of expressing emotions. vyncent is good at quick analysis of a situation, but unless a problem directly interferes with the current goal he doesnt externalize it to everyone else. but bottling up his feelings and emotions just builds up pressure over time until something like the lich makes him blow up and let it all out at once, usually in a dramatic monologue format bc condi is really good at those god damn it. also they played off the fact that vyncent said all of that to the lich and then missed his attack as a funny thing but i like to think of it as. he got too overwhelmed w his emotions and lashed out too soon it made his fighting messy. vyncent is so angry and honestly after what hes been through he deserves to be !!!!
william wisp. my boy. god hes just like me fr so much so that it physically hurts sometimes. anyway. i always think back to the scene where theyre all in the cabin talking about themselves/sharing backstories and william keeps desperately trying not to talk about himself. the fact that hes so ashamed of his powers he hides wisp form every time. two of his powers are LITERALLY a) turning invisible and b) turning intangible, usually as an excuse to leave whatever situation hes in ("accidentally" falling through the floor at opportune moments in season 1) . theres. a thing that happens at the end of episode 13/beginning of epidode 14 that youre really close to and i wont spoil yet but god it has to do with this so extremely much please come back to my inbox when you get there. youll know what it is trust me. um. yeah. so anyway. i think a lot of this comes from a place of. he doesnt want anyone to be scared of him. williams not stupid hes incredibly smart and insightful he knows his powers are objectively SCARY. hes scared of himself constantly, he doesnt want anyone else to feel that way about him, so he shifts focus whenever those aspects of himself are brought up because if someone were to think about it for any amount of time theyd realize the truth that hes scary and dangerous to be around (<< william logic. hey remember how one of the reasons he originally left deadwood was because the monsters there were attracted to the wisps and therefore Him so he left to keep his friends/family out of danger)
i think a lot about williams death and the immediate aftermath, i dont know how much you actually know and how much of this comes later but . how does he go home after waking up from that. his parents know about his powers, so they MUST know what happened. what do you think he told them when he god home muddy and dirty and broken and probably bloody after being missing for. god knows how long. how does he look his mother in the eyes and tell her her little boy is dead. but hes also not because hes standing right in front of her. how the fuck do you think he felt the first time he went into wisp form and saw his body laying there !!! of course he wouldnt want to talk about that!!!! youre gonna have to pry william wisps emotions from his cold dead hands !!!!!!!
dakota's response to the ashe situation was to run away in the woods and do nothing but train for 10 months. he didnt think about it for 10 months. i dont even have a whole lot to say about dakota other than like. stunned silence whenever his inability to process trauma is brought up because grizzly does such an incredible job at being like "you ask dakota how hes doing and his face is just blank" << paraphrased actual quote from an episode i cannot remember which one. either 11 or 12 ?
also because im thinking about him im including ashe in this. we didnt get to see a whole lot of his canon reactions to extreme emotional situations so a lot of this is just coming from My Mind but ashe seems like hed be the type to repress a lot of his emotions too. being alone in your house/in your room for extended periods of time will do that to a guy. i think he feels a lot of things and will probably very openly cry/scream/get angry when hes alone but as soon as he knows another person is there he can immediately flip the switch to turn it all off like nothing happened. very much a deadpan "im fine." if someone asks how hes doing, even if hes got like. the remainder of tear tracks down his face. cannot physically express his emotions in the presence of someone else
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bigcats-birds-and-books · 11 months ago
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okay tomorrow i'm really gonna DO IT, i'm gonna TRY the THREE SENTENCES CHALLENGE that cee polk told us about, i will REPORT BACK ON HOW IT GOES
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coridallasmultipass · 3 months ago
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GUYS I'M CRYING THEY'RE SO FREAKING CUTE!! AAAA ALL I NEEDED WAS A COUPLE PIPE CLEANERS FROM THE HARDWARE STORE AND NOW I HAVE MORE PLUSHIES HHHH...
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mariska · 5 months ago
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me waking up on a day where i have a dr's/medical appointment of any kind and remembering that i do indeed have a medical appointment i have to go to
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thebluebygracieabrams · 5 months ago
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i hate getting gifts because first of all are you trying to buy me make me feel obligated to you so I feel the need to be polite and sweet to you all the time and secondly once you inevitably leave what the fuck am i supposed to do with them
#bro these glow in the dark stickers on my ceiling#when i got them i felt so loved and adored for the first time in my life like wow someone#actually cares about me enough to listen to my wandering petty musings#and they comforted me so much at nights like there's light in darkness#now all i want to do is rip them off and burn them#but i already feel so alone in this house#i just feel like if i remove them then this house won't have anything of me like sure some of my clothes#are here some books but my bed was so messsy when i came mom was using it as storage and my study table#was completely unusable mom had put so much stuff like 5 suitcases under it and on top of it more stuff#like um okay i get that i was gone for 3 months but wow you wrote me off pretty quickly huh#like I dont belong here anymore#my dad already says that place isn't my house whenever he gets mad at me or when im not disciplined#like you guys. i wanted to move out at 18 you forced me to live here and now you're sick of me?#lol okay#fuck how will i ever get over this#i was watching that movie today and peter has abandonment issues and he got so upset when lj#was going to move away far from him he was like ok fine since u choose to go so far away let's break up now#because I dont want to wait till 5-6 months and then do it like let's just do it now#like that's such a classic me move being in control of when the relationship ends so you don't have to be there#when the other person completely loses interest and leaves you first#and you know how it got fixed? his dad told him that he loves him and that he's never gonna leave him again#like lol that's not gonna happen to me so i have to find a way to be ok without it#😮‍💨#pity party of one pls look away everyone
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agayconcept · 1 year ago
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#oh for fucks sake#if i have to listen to my shithead of a mother bitch and whine and moan about me being disabled one more fuckinG time i s2g#she's been going on for 20 mins abt how annoying it is that i had to go lie down for a bit bc i had a migraine and a pain flare up#which meant i guess that she didnt get to make dinner when she wanted to (i told her she could just eat w/o me like who cares)#so now she's on a rampage abt how inconvenient it is to her and how i ruin her schedule and her life all the time etc etc#and when i responded calmly w 'well what would u like me to do- snap my fingers and not be disabled anymore? u TOLD me to go lie down.'#she exploded and is like 'oh noOoo ofc not nothing is ever ur fault u just accidentally do these things'#bitch WHAT THINGS ?????#exist as disabled ??? be in so much pain i spend most of my life these days in bed ??? be unable to function to ur standards ????#do u Hear urself ??#now she's sitting on the couch pouting and fuming like a toddler bc i was in bed for 2 hours instead of 30 mins (bc too much pain to get up)#and throwing a tantrum like that is in any way normal or acceptable behaviour#'u always do this! but nooo u can do w/e u want cant u ?? u dont have to consider others!!'#ma'am...#a) no i dont have to consider others when it comes to taking care of myself and my debilitating illnesses. that's an insane thing to suggest#b) nobody told u u could not do w/e the fuck u wanted while i was out of commission. u just did this to have more to complain abt#c) ah yes bc i 'want' to be bedbound in excruciating pain. that was a choice i made. for funsies. for the bit.#whaT ?????#god someone save me im gonna lose my mind w this shit#not to mention she's also belligerently drunk so like. there's that also. cant have any proper convo bc of it (not that i wanna talk to her)#jesus fUcking chrisT#i gotta get out of here#this woman is so immensely hateful#ya sorry i ruined ur life by being born this way and now ur stuck 'putting up' w me and 'my shit' (<- actual things she has said many times)#fuuuuuck me.#anyway.#negative#ableism#verbal abuse#ask to tag
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sentdownangel · 2 years ago
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Feeling a little troubled ...... last night (a few hrs ago ig) my nana (whom i moved in wit bc the tenant she was renting the upstairs 2 died n i needed 2 get out of a shitty roommate situation so the stars aligned etc) mentioned in passing that she was in my apt while i was gone, she mentioned she was looking 4 something bt then changed it 2 checking 2 see if i caught the bus.....i told her basicly i loved her n ment no offense bt my privacy is rly important 2 me n so could she pls not go into my pad when im not there bc it gives me anxiety (which she has also so i was tryna rel8 a lil bit) n she just kinda shut down n started feeling bad abt herself n getting upset tht i thought she wld go thru my stuff . Idk i jus had 2 put this down sumwhere n i havent gotten a new journle yet sigh
#i mean she is. Very ancient bless her in evry way shes 81 so im sure shes just . kinda losin it 4 a lack of a better way 2 put it n . Aughgg#Life is very intimid8ng n i wanna take care of her bt shes so afraid of Everything ever n its stressing her out so much she cant sleep#So then shes coming up 2 my apt (btw i dont have a key 4 my inside door so i keep it unlocked) Late as Haell like 3 4 AM#Asking me 2 sit downstairs w her till she falls asleep . N i keep giving her advice on sleeping better like .#If u sit on the couch watching tv most of the day..when u go 2 bed n do the same thing u wont get tired frm it#Or rrlaxing yr body n focusing on yr breathing Dont put the tv on if yr brain is paying attn 2 wats goin on there#Then u cant focus on sleeping .#And i ask if she understands n if shes listening bt then Every Night doesnt change how her routine is n i just Dont .. I Want 2 Help So Bad#But what can i do when ur not even listening 2 the vry basic lifestyle cuanges u Need 2 make or yr gna worry yrself sick :((((#I dnt think impatronizing i try 2 be gentle n understanding but also like . Semi profesh like Boundaries need 2 b had if im here longterm#Bt she doesnt rlly get that bc shes Very insecure sbt herself i think she just ... Internalizes it into like#Thinking shes burdoning me or makes me feel rlly gulty 4 needing alone time i just . Idk how 2 have this talk w her cuz i feel like#I alrdy have a million times . God i do love her so so much n im scared 4 this future i just want her 2 b happy bbut#im still tryna figure out how 2 even Talk 2 Anybody let alone a very sensitive farm raised senior#Damn this is a vent post and a half#999
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faetealights · 2 months ago
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its vv rare do i fucking get the "unreachable amd unanswerable dealer" trope but i am . my eye is twitcging
#BRO WHAT ARE U DOING.#u said '20mins' at 10:30 it is 1am i .#shut up no one say a word im in the deoths of my own fucking torment rn i dont wanna be SOBER rn .#abt to whip out the vlender make fucking . daiquris or wtv its spelt .#bc i have alcohol ! and frozen fruot ! and a desire to not Feel rn ! its not even that im so numb to all of this now#like thes a level of detachment to this emotion. bc i dont wanna deal with this Actually so im side baring it in a seethriugh woven box#bc wtc it is is seeping fromcthe box into my blood !!!!!!!#being psotive is hard okay. rewirinf rhis fucktruck 9f a brsin i was givwn is HARD . esp when it comes to this fucking situstion and my self#qorth in love like idont . wanna Feel and i wanna get High to feel .#if i dont have a response by 2am i am giving up and going to bed atp. if i cant get high i will sleep#and dream of this fucker instead of thinling abt him bc it doesnt MATTER.#im half convinced we are actually cinversing jn the dream realm. vc i have an inkling this fucler can astroproject / dream travel#whether ue knows it or not ! dunno ! but theres SEVERAL DREAMS the last few weeks that have .#idk how to explain it .ive woken ul half expecting to see a conversation on my phone or . something w the way it feels#and its not in a 'ohhh were back tgth' no its 'oh some shir was said incthe dream scape that needed to be said but xiuldnt be said'#like im not allowrd to contact him. not that i WANT TO anyway. bc whay can i say. i dont know anything for certain. i cant .#put my own fucking cards on the tBlw yhat is reoestinf the past pattern with a Fat Check. i cant do Anything but cope with this#and the divine has me in a honey pot :) like u fuckers are Insane#i can feel and see them just . holding this (weed. him wtv idc) for my own good :)) bc i cant go back to old patterns :))#ajd smokign weed to cope w my emotions IS not good for me. even if it does help it . os a crutch.#its not bad Every So Often but . anyway my throat feels itchy and this now feels . fucking divine too what do u want me to do here#what am i supposed to do here.#i forget . so mych of my hwaling is more just Admitting shit to nyself than actually acting. like .#im cpnatsntly trying to be Good to people and . stixk by myself without throwing my ass under a bus#and without beong a heartless bitch. abd this doesnt matter#bc everyones got their own projections and i am not perfeft eitherway but .#fuck man. let me do this high#i sgould just sleep or . wash my dishes ir Something eye .#icdont wanna do anythibg lol i am Miserable#im not . iam not entirely happy w my job. but idk if thats bc its lulling out or if its a gwnuine disinterest in this career choice.
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hotroadkill · 1 year ago
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today 2 years ago i was in america and i had the worst hangover of my life and i was in a waffle house with my friend in awkward silence bc we’d fought in a stranger’s kitchen the night before and the server refilled my water for the 5th time while i fought to swallow half a forkful of hashbrowns and she said “i know that look, y’all had a good time at the superbowl last night” and i was thinking actually we had a mediocre time at a nerd bar where u throw darts and all the drinks r named weird things and anyway my friend gives the fakest laugh ive ever heard followed by “yep we sure did” like are we in a CW show right now what was that line delivery and also what even is the superbowl i was born here and should know but honestly i’ve always just pictured everyone gathering at a comically large bowl of cereal but her nametag says leslie and she’s really nice and she’s refilling my water for the 6th time so yeah sure whatever i’m a red blooded american i’ll be anything for leslie in this moment and she tells us stories about working at bars downtown and my friend tells me bad jokes and i feel a little better even though my heart is kind of withering away because my flight is in 17 hours and theres not enough time never enough time i won’t see him for another year and a half and i won’t ever see leslie again and if i ever run into the italian stranger who fell in love with me over darts then it won’t be the same because we won’t be dancing and i’m sitting in a waffle house while the sun sets and i’m sweating gin and tequila and my flight is in 16 hours and i have so many goodbyes to say in this
city because when i was fifteen somebody threw my glass heart onto the floor of my childhood house and bits of it shattered everywhere and fell into the cracks of the floorboards and behind the fridge and i’ll never ever get them out much less back together but i feel like ive been trying for eight years all the same and my flight is in 15 hours but maybe if my friend brings me home now i can spend three of those looking for more shards even though i’ll cut my hand because time never wore down any of the hurt because time might heal wounds but it cant really do jack shit about a metaphysical glass shard its still gonna make me bleed and my friend brings me home and we curl up beside each other in my childhood bedroom thats too small for us it was really a supply room but it became my bedroom when i was eleven and i painted it blue and put up stickers of fish and never took them down but someone someday will take them down and hopefully the house burns to the ground before anyone can touch them theyre mine i grew up here theyre mine dont touch them dont please dont please please please i grew up here and my flight is in 12 hours now because i fell asleep beside my friend and he let me because he knew i needed it he kept watch even though we dont have time we never do because he has to go now and all i can give him is a hug and my hoodie to keep safe until i can see him again and fight him in a stranger’s kitchen again and the sun is gone now and i go and i sit with my dad and my flight is in 10 hours and im trying
not to cry im trying to stare at the stickers because maybe if i look at all of it hard enough i’ll get to stay but i dont because thats not how it works and now my flight is in 4 hours because i fell asleep in my childhood loft bed and now i have to leave i have to pack up and go for the fifth time and it never never gets easier and i know i only have a few more trips left until someone takes my stickers down and paints over my ocean but for now my best friend’s stepmother comes with me and my dad to the airport because my best friend is in college two states away and my flight is in 3 hours and i cry i cry so much and she cries too because she loves me and i think it is such a beautiful blessed thing that i am so loved but oh it is so painful too because i spend more time in its absence than its presence and my flight is in 2 hours and i have to go and my dad is waving goodbye and i see it because i looked back because im stupid i always look back i never look forward i’m forever walking blind through my life because i’m looking back and i can tell my dad is crying and now i have to go through TSA sobbing and it’s awkward because they ask are you okay kid and im not but i cant tell them sorry its just that when i was fifteen somebody threw my glass heart onto the floor of my childhood house and bits of it shattered everywhere and fell into the cracks of the floorboards and behind the fridge and i’ll never ever get them out i cant tell them that so i nod yes im okay and i go and my flight is in 1 hour and i hope it fucking crashes and my flight is in the air and im so far away from all those shards on the kitchen floor now but they’re hurting me all the same and i think i look kind of insane sobbing in the middle seat but how can i miss so many people and so many rooms at once and not lose my mind a little bit? i was going to tell you a short witty little joke about the time i realized i was 21 and didnt know what the superbowl was but i think i slipped on a shard. i’m sorry. maybe next time i’ll get it right. maybe in another two years. maybe you’ll never see me again. maybe this is all the time we had.
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