#red robin and batkid

[this-canadian-girl]

I genuinely love how in batfam fanfics….

Dick is like: little D (Damian), Timmy Tim, little wing (Jason) I’m on my way my baby bros!!!

And then in canon….

Dick: *perpetually perturbed by his codependent siblings but knows he’ll never not answer cause who else is gonna pull their dumbassses out the gutter*

[demonicsuffrage]

By some supernatural accident, Batman and Superman swap bodies. But the accident was just so embarassing that they collectively decided to NOT tell anyone about, and figure out how to reverse it all on their own. But, unfortunately, this means they now have to keep up this farce in front of their families

Clark, in Bruce's body, wiping some blood off his mouth and wincing at the 15 cracked ribs he now has: Guess I can bleed, huh

Dick, staring in disbelief after the patrol: YES OFCOURSE YOU CAN!? WHY THE HELL DID YOU THROW YOURSELF DIRECTLY ON TOP OF A GRENADE-

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bruce, in Clark's body, squinting at the bright smallville sun at the Kent farm: This is way too much for 11 am

Jon, staring at his newly grumpy dad: I think batman is a bad influence on you, dad

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Clark in Bruce's body, staring at his reflection in the mirror: The shoulder to waist ratio is insane, such a grabbable waist

Poor Tim, who accidentally overheard this, getting ready to call Arkham: Uhuh it's definitely, insane

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kon: And so I said, ofcourse, i would love the soup-er salad!

Bruce in Clark's body, deadpan expression on his face:

Kon: Get it? Soup-er salad?

Bruce: Yes

Kon, sad puppy expression: You always laugh at soup puns :(

Bruce, now with an Extremely Forced little smile: Yes it was very....funny

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Clark, in Bruce's body, rushing to hug a visibly bleeding Jason who walked into the cave after patrol: What happened?! Are you okay?

Jason, freezing up because the last time Bruce ran to hug him was, never:

Clark, immediately backing up, and speaking with a deliberately gruff voice: I mean. Is the blood yours? Son.

Jason:...no

[itssacarose]

had some fun drawing random batfam headcanons (pt 1? let's see how it goes)

[non-binary-lil-star]

Bruce, introducing his kids at a family Interview: This is my eldest Dick, my second eldest Cassandra, then my son Jason, my second youngest Tim, and my youngest Damian

Bruce: That's my daughter-in-law Barbara, and my other daughter-in-law, Stephanie

Tim: ??? Steph and I broke up forever ago?? How is she your daughter-in-Law?

Stephanie: I may not be dating any of you anymore but I'm the State of daughter-in-law. Daughter-in-law is not a family title, it's the friends you make along the way

Jason: I'm not high enough for this shit

Golden boy Dick Grayson: Me fucking neither

Jason: what

Dick: what

Bruce: ??? What do you mean she's not my daughter-in-law anymore?? I was counting on her marrying into the family :C

Steph: Sorry B, unfortunately your son would rather kiss superbitch than me

Dick: TIM IS KISSING WHO NOW

Bruce: >:( We'll talk about that later, right now-

Tim: I don't think that's necess-

Bruce: We'll talk about that later. Right now can't any of you date her?? Jaylad, you're sin-

Steph: HELL NO

Jason, already on his second blunt: You're so funny, old man. I'm literally co parenting my best friends kid. I'm literallyyyy be gay do crime. Haha.

Dick: YOURE WHAT WITH WHO NOW

Bruce: CAN ANY OF YOU JUST DATE HER

Cass, slowly raising her hand like in Hunger Games: I volunteer

Bruce: ...

Tim: ...

Dick: ...

Bruce: This is why you're my favorite daughter 🥹

Cass: Father, I'm your only daughter

Tim: Untrue. I did drag one time, that has to count

Steph: Does this mean I have a girlfriend

Damian: This family is a disgrace

Interviewer: ...

[murdersansy]

Back to my roots. The batfamily that I used to draw when I started posting on Tumblr.

I call it "always an older brother."

That's all folks.

[disastertwins9000]

not the bad vibes 😓

tim is so done

[kitthecatgod]

Guys, we all know Bruce is emotionally constipated. And he would not handle his kids crying well at all. So, I present to you, Bruce and his 'don't be sad' tactics: 12 y/o Dick: Crying in his room bc something reminded him of his mom Bruce, hearing the sobs: 'oh god what the fuck do i do' Bruce, knocking on the door before opening it and setting down a plushy he had a child on Dick's bed, before quickly backing out of the room: 'fuck did that go well?'

Jason: instinctual tears because someone punched him in the nose.

Bruce: walks over to Jason to awkwardly hand him one of the candies he keeps to comfort children

Tim: Burst into tears out of sheer frustration over a case (and bc he's been up for about 48 hours) Bruce: Quietly walks over to put a mug of hot chocolate in front of Tim before getting tf out of there All the batkids have their own experience with Bruce giving them something to stop them from crying. They treasure the little moments. Because Bruce is trying. He is doing his best.

[starrykass]

Wanted to redraw one of the wfa panels cuz it’s so silly

REF:

[sweet-as-petrichor]

Damian: Want to help me commit a felony?

Jason: What the hell??

Damian: Sorry, my bad.

Damian, whispering: Want to help me commit a felony?

Jason, whispering: Of course dude, what do you need?

[fandomismylife]

A list of things that are in fact cannon in my own little batfam world

- “Are we getting Jason’ed???” Something you say when you think you’re about to die by the hands of the joker.- Coined by Steph, when she thought she was gonna die at the hands of the joker with Tim. Is now used by everyone.

- WWRHD = What Would Red Hood Do?- was coined by Steph, is now used in every situation possible by every bat kid.

- Evil Baha Blast = The Lazarus Pit- was coined by Duke, when he thought that saying the actual name might trigger Jason. Jason laughed his ass off for about 10 minutes and has not called it by its actual name since.

Will continue this when I come up with more.

Edit: Hey y’all I just wanted to let you know that I stole all of these from random batfam media I have consumed, I didn’t come up with them. Love y’all tho thank you for over 10k likes that’s INSANE. Anyway byeeeee

Edit Number 2: @trixter-god I’m fairly sure I got the “are we getting Jasoned?” One from one of your skits on Tik Tok and I just remembered. credit where credit is due.

[frownyalfred]

actually the idea that Dick, the eldest, the only one who ever wore the cowl long term, the only one who raised a Robin on his own, is also the only one who can successfully, perfectly replicate that barked ROBIN! in Bruce's voice? the only one who can pull that exact tone from the depths of his soul, to the point where his voice is identical, so identical that old Robins like Jason are obeying before their minds even realize their bodies are moving? that Dick is the only one, has always been the only one, who can channel Bruce's voice? can channel Batman himself? I am going feral

[brucedefender4eva]

Bruce yelled at Tim a little too much on patrol but he doesn’t really know how to say sorry cause what Tim did was super dangerous but he still shouldn’t have yelled so much

Bruce slowly and awkwardly opens Tim’s bedroom door to see the teenager (?) angrily typing away on his computer

Instead of trying to explain himself or fail a stunted apology, Bruce leaves a bowl of Tim’s favorite fruit all cut up and a steaming cup of Alfred’s tea that he made (begged) the butler make

And under the cup of tea is a sticky note with a small heart

The next day Bruce knows things are all good between them cause Tim bumps against his shoulder lightly as they pass each other in the hallway

[livsoulsecrets]

Dick: What do you do when someone offers you drugs?

Tim: Take them!

Damian: Punch them in the neck!

Cass: Say thank you!

Jason: Offer them more drugs to assert dominance!

Dick: …

Dick: No.

[bats-and-the-birds]

So, when the Batkids get hurt, like, seriously hurt, they logically know that they best place they could go is the batcave. Fully stocked infirmary, the most updated medical technology possible, and Alfred to give them tea and sew up all of the wounds that they can't quite reach.

However, if any of them are even mildly beefing with Bruce, which they almost always are, they'll be damned if they're gonna face The Disappointed Bat Glare (tm) while also bleeding out, much less the speech that will inevitably follow.

This leads to either

A. The batkids sneaking into each others apartments and safehouses to get help, aka

Tim: -humming to himself as he flicks on the lights of the common room at Titans Tower-

Dick: -slumped on the couch dripping blood from two stab wounds- Hey, Timmy. Could you get your med kit?

Tim: -brief high pitched scream- FUCK!!! -long silence- Yeah, sure.

Dick: Great. Also, Bart heard me calling for you in the dark, and he thought I was a ghost of some sort. I think he ran to Mexico to get away, so you might want to track him down.

B. The batkids attempting to sneak into the batcave and patch themselves up without Bruce realizing they were ever there, aka

Jason: -sneaking through the medical bay in the dark, trying to silently open drawers when the lights suddenly come on-

Alfred: -standing by the light switch- Master Jason, may I inquire as to what you're doing here?

Jason: -actively gushing blood from his side- ....Nothing.

Alfred: Do you require stitches?

Jason: ....No.

Alfred: -actively pulling out the supplies to stitch up his wound- If you say so, Master Jason.

[luca-is-a-pengu]

[haveihitanerve]

I don’t think we, as a fandom, discuss how absolutely WILD it must have been for Tim to switch from idolizing Dick to having him literally being his brother who will casually chug a gallon of milk just to prevent Tim from getting any.

Like personally if fucking Zendaya or like Orlando Bloom showed up at my house and started treating me as a sister I would get WHIPLASH