#reject capitalist hell

[mimicschest]

web 2.0 brought many things. The most of which is convenience. By making things convenient, it was easier to capture an audience. To keep people on their sites for longer. To track them easier. To sell advertisements.

You know what it also is? A security flaw.

There have been countless data-breaches, hacks, and other things. Sites have to invest in ever increasing security. To protect their data. Which is always their real product. Because, big platforms are inherently more risky for data security. If you aren't using them, then basic digital hygiene is usually enough. Don't click risky links. Use an ad blocker. Don't give out personal information - practice disinformation when it comes to personal information stuff.

All of this is true. Yet, that isn't the full reason not to use these sites.

Data security isn't the only thing at risk with regards to centralization. Censorship, privacy violations, and fascistic takeover also becomes not only possible, but highly likely.

When you use a centralized service, authorities only have to go to one source to shut you down. To silence you. To find out who you are.

The internets robustness lies in its decentralized nature. The idea that anyone could make a website; to communicate with anyone else in the world. Start a blog. Write a newspaper. Make art.

Each step of centralization represents a vulnerability. It isn't just criminals that have to fear. Authoritarians have repeatedly tried to kill the internet, locking it down to walled gardens. And we see now what happens when the people in charge of these centralized services are politically and ideologically aligned to an authoritarian. Just look at what is happening between the trump administration and musk.

The internet is locked down. But its fundamental structures are still open. Anyone could still make a website. In theory, you could also host a server at home off of an old computer. ISPs are still an issue, and not one that is easy to fix. There are free and largely anonymous web-hosts as well.

You also don't have to go all in. Any step away from these large platforms is a step in the right direction. I keep up a website myself for this reason. I use open-source or shareware stuff whenever I can.

Get off of twitter. Get off of facebook. Tumblr is fine for now, but is owned by a elon fanboy, so I wouldn't be putting my hopes on him.

Youtube is a harder nut to crack. Fundamentally, video hosting is expensive. You need server space to hold the videos. You can embed a video into a website directly now-a-days with just a single line of html code. The problem is audience size. If a lot of people are watching your video, that represents a lot of information being streamed. That is a lot of bandwidth. Peertube is a thing, and it even has some discoverability features, but you still need a place to actually put the videos. Once the video is shared, it uses something not unlike torrenting so that, anyone who is watching the video, is sharing some of the effort of streaming that video to other people.

That doesn't change the fact that most of the content is on youtube. I don't use the youtube app on my phone; I just use firefox and add on some extensions to customize it. Like showing the dislikes and removing ads, and removing youtube shorts - its a huge time sink. You can also use things like freetube or NewPipe, depending on platform, to watch the videos. Support the creators you watch directly. Sponserships exist for a reason. So do things like patreon or donation links or they have their merch. Cut out youtube as a middleman, and if they have a website, bookmark it. Follow them on things like mastadon or bluesky. Get a rss feed extension for your browser and go to the channels you actually watch. Youtube subscriptions are ultimatelly just rss feeds, and you can get updates directly from your browser about them. Share them on your websites or your socials to spread word; don't rely on the algorithm to show you what you want to see.

Discord is another problem. I won't be getting rid of it myself right now, but at least it is an easier problem to find alternatives for, since messaging clients and servers have been around since even before the http protocol was even a thing. Discord is ultimately not too different to a massive irc service. You also have open-source and even peer to peer solutions that are more modern. If discord also starts being fascisty, I will encourage my contacts to move to something else.

[mimicschest]

Its the profit motive. Once you are done speaking; once there is nothing more to say, then most normal people will just go on with their lives. Once it is your career, however, you now *must* keep talking. You need things to talk about, even if you have to dig up the most obscure bullshit. You run out of filling for your sandwiches, so you start making nothing sandwiches. Because if you aren't selling your sandwiches, then you are failing. If you are failing, then you start dying.

To make a career of it is to value the profit it provides you over the actual message you spread.

I'm not sure there's anything worse for one's moral character or the vigor and nuance of their opinions than making a career out of sharing them with the crowd.

[canine-economy]

On Swansea’s (often understated) role in Mouthwashing

I say this as a big swansea fan but I don’t rlly understand why ppl are acting like he’s not also complicit in what happened to Anya? AUs where “Anya tells Swansea” and he jumps to violently defend her don’t make sense to me because canonically she does tell him, as he admits to Jimmy. But swansea represents another way of interacting with the capitalist heteropatriarchy that ALSO harms victims: holistic jadedness and resignation.

Swansea is across the board unkind to the Tulpar crew. We can’t forget that he calls anya a “so-called nurse”

and says this to Jimmy, which (if unintentionally) reiterates Jimmy’s own warped perception of Anya’s usefulness and competence. This allows Jimmy to feel justified in his imagination of the nurse’s inferiority. Swansea’s clear lack of respect for Jimmy does less to hurt Jimmy than his lack of respect for Anya harms Anya, because at the end of the day, Swansea’s attitude is contextualized by the violent culture it exists in and he does nothing to reconcile with that when Jimmy becomes the captain. His resignation can thus be weaponized even by Jimmy, a man who Swansea disrespects but whose power he doesn’t try to meaningfully jeopardize, because his across-the-board disdain punches people already marginalized by the environment twice as hard as it does those with power.

Swansea doesn’t position himself as an ally, he positions himself as willfully uninvolved in everything, an observer to the shitshow ride to hell. Just because he dislikes Jimmy doesn’t mean he aligns with Anya. He makes it clear that he’s not on her side, either. After a life of doing what he felt was expected of him, Swansea on the Tulpar looks out for Swansea and Swansea’s comfort. In trying to situate himself outside of the politics of it all as an older white man, he simply allows them to play out. The toxic culture keeps existing, playing out in the microcosm that is this freighter, and Swansea in all his experience recognizes that shit has hit the fan and elects to coast through it, even explicitly numbing himself to it by breaking his sobriety. It is, of course, hard to force yourself to be sober—to see clearly. But had Swansea forced himself to get involved sooner, he might have set a precedent for Daisuke to recognize Jimmy’s abuse, which could have saved Daisuke’s life as well as created a safe space for Anya. But Swansea’s inaction forces both victims to confront an abuser on their own, unable to reap benefits from his privilege and experience.

Jimmy is clearly intimidated by swansea in a way he is not by Anya, Daisuke, or a post-crash Curly (Swansea, for example, physically manifests as an aggressor in Jimmy’s “responsibility sequences”, and Jimmy ties Swansea up to avoid what he sees as the real possibility of pushback that he doesn’t conceive of Anya being able to do). Swansea has a power he does not act on or with until it is far, far too late. In fact, he acknowledges in his final monologue that he was dissatisfied with the discomfort with opening his eyes and living an exemplary “good man”s life. The best days of his life are ones in which he’s belligerently drunk—days in which he didn’t have to hold himself accountable. He regrets the life he spent performing for higher-ups and we watch him reject it by scorning Captain Jimmy, but he also doesn’t want to be held responsible for helping other people when it’s their turn to endure the expectations and violence from similar (if not the same) higher powers. Tragically, he possesses the hindsight to recognize that how he acted on the Tulpar consequently wasn’t what Daisuke needed out of a role model, leading to Daisuke becoming a victim. His hands-off approach to emotional engagement with his young male intern (another symptom of patriarchal gender norms) may have been to avoid Daisuke turning out miserable and jaded like himself, but it doesn’t actually indicate to an already-confused Daisuke what the dangers of that attitude are. Swansea never admits his own shortcomings in a tangible way which, had they come from a man with experience and prestige like himself, may have shifted that culture that failed Anya. She comes to him with the story not because he has situated himself as any earnest friend, but likely out of desperation on a ship Jimmy now controls.

When we allow “the machine” (Swansea’s own words) to beat us down to the point that we don’t find it productive to challenge unjust power dynamics, we become complicit. I think too many people get hung up on his disdain for Jimmy and Jimmy’s fear of Swansea as a marker of allyship with Anya, but the truth is that Swansea. Is a bad ally. He’s hardly one at all. His long stint in the demanding capitalist environment molded a perfectly complicit result out of him, as it aspires to do, even if Swansea bitterly recognizes that. Jimmy’s overt violence from a position of power is a different and much more brutal approach to abuse enabled by people who have been left too tired and bitter to care that he does it. A man who could’ve intimidated and even threatened Jimmy is too resigned to try until there is literally nobody but himself left to fight for, which is an attitude carefully cultivated among the lower rungs of hierarchies to keep the top safe. Swansea in particular seems very unhappy with the capitalistic, patriarchal expectations laid out for him as a father, husband, and laborer. This becomes particularly resonant when you realize the symbolism of his role as mechanic: a job that can be deeply unpersonal, tasked with keeping the ship (the machine, if you will) itself going while other roles are more focused on managing the humans inside of it (e.g. nurse, captain). His decision to just stop trying and spare himself the grief instead of questioning why those expectations exist and how they would hurt the others onboard only delays him being directly targeted by Jimmy and doesn’t interrupt the latter’s violence.

Not a single man in mouthwashing is innocent in Anya’s victimhood. This is a statement tentatively uninclusive of Daisuke, because I think the game very deliberately positions him outside of manhood through his youth and thus struggling with the concept of “fitting in” to the patriarchy. Curly, Jimmy, and Swansea all represent different failures that ultimately perpetuate Anya’s suffering and force her to defend herself and finally take her life into her own hands. A holistic analysis of rape culture in MW necessarily engages with all three of them. Only not being a friend and ally to rapists and other male abusers isn’t enough, and Swansea proves it.

[rooksamoris]

💞 — 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐁𝐔𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐔𝐍𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒.

💞 — in which you try to unionize the mostro lounge, but the boss, azul, just happens to be your boyfriend.

💞 — azul ashengrotto x reader

💞 — warnings: just a little suggestive, not explicit.

💞 — 1.6k words.

“No, you guys—we need to fight for our rights. By any means necessary,” 

Jade and Floyd looked at you in amusement and annoyance, respectively. You could not be seriously trying to unionize the Mostro Lounge. Azul was probably the most pro-capitalist/anti-union guy on campus. He had justified roping you, his beloved, into working overtime with the excuse of “it's for the profit motive, sweetheart” and yet you still stupidly thought you could manage to unionize his establishment? It was cute.

The more sneaky of the twins laughed, politely hiding his grin behind his immaculately gloved hand, “And you plan to do this how?” he asked.

A blush of embarrassment trailed up your neck and to your ears. You had very little experience with grassroots organizing—which meant you were drawing a blank, “Uhm—I don’t know. We… uh… we should make demands and find a cool name for our union,”

“Unions schmunions—let's just not come to work,” whined Floyd.

You shook your head, “We need a union before we try going on strike… uhm, how about ‘Night Raven Labor Organization’? It rhymes and would look good on a flyer,” you suggested, placing your fist in your palm. You were embarrassingly desperate at this point. Your boyfriend was constantly tricking you into working sickeningly long hours for him, claiming it was fine since you guys were dating and he helped you pass alchemy—but still.

Jade was entertained, so he indulged in your theatrics, “Oh, that sounds wonderful. Do not worry yourself over the flyers, I… I will handle that,” he said, purposefully pausing just to watch the suspicion creep into your mind.

Before you could reject him, Floyd stood and lazily draped his arms over your shoulders, “You know, you’re gonna break Azul’s heart, being against him like this,” he said, a sudden toothy grin coming over his features at the thought of what chaos could come from your silly plan, “Standing against your ‘sweet Zuzu’ for the working class,” 

You frowned at him, “We–well, something needs to be done, even if it means his feelings are mildly hurt.”

The plan was in motion. You had already gone ahead and spoken with the other employees at the lounge, and while most were apprehensive—fear of Azul was pretty common—some still believed that you could convince your boyfriend to be kinder to his workers. Jade had told you he made flyers, and you were heading over to the lounge to go check them out, and then meet up with the others for the meeting. 

But the moment you walked in, Floyd shoved you towards the office with a giddy grin, “Shrimpy’s in trouble…” he whispered.

You stiffened, “Huh? What do you mean? Floyd—”

“Azul wants to talk to you,” he told you, knocking on the office door before scurrying off, leaving you to gulp and adjust your necktie.

Azul opened the door with a suave grin, gently wrapping his arm around you, his hand lingering at the small of your back, “Ah, sweetheart,” he said, affectionately kissing your temple. He pulled you inside, shutting the door with his foot before guiding you towards one of the sofas in his office, “You’re looking as gorgeous as ever,” he added, pouring you a glass of fruit cordial before taking his seat across from you, his hands folded on his cane and his legs crossed.

You always hated how smooth he was, “Ahaha…” he laughed awkwardly, “Uhm… you wanted to talk?”

One of his brows raised, “Do I need an excuse to see my beloved?”

“O–Oh, no, of course not—I just mean—”

His laugh cut you off. Sevens, how you loved that laugh, “You’re so nervous…” he trailed off, his bluish-purple eyes tracing over the ceiling before making their way towards your eyes, a single brow raised.

You were nervous. Hell, this was the most bizarre experience ever. You were unionizing your boyfriend’s establishment—you spent the night in his dorm room, just for you to wake up the next day and have secret meetings with his employees. You were ashamed, but not enough to quit the union. Azul had been abusing his power for too long now. Your lips had parted to speak, but you were cut off when he slammed two papers on the coffee table.

One was a flyer with a pig-like depiction of the bourgeoisie, dressed in a fancy suit and surrounded by money, and the second was the union demands which you were supposed to go over with the other employees today.

“Azul—I… I can explain—”

“How cute.” Azul gently tapped his foot as he watched your face fill with horror at being caught too early, “For a union organizer, you’re pretty disorganized. You trusted Jade with the flyers? The fact that you trusted Jade with anything is just hilarious,” he said, letting his cane lean against the sofa. He uncrossed his legs and leaned forward.

“Listen, Azul…” you started, before he cut you off, with a mere raise of the hand. That bastard Jade—

He cleared his throat before picking up the page of demands, “‘We members of the Night Raven Labor Organization…��� did you come up with the name, love? It’s nice. It rhymes, seems you do pay attention to my marketing rambles. Anyways, ‘We members of the Night Raven Labor Organization are proposing a chance of bargaining before any attempts of protest or striking,’ ooh, look at you, threatening me. How adorable,” he said, grinning at your embarrassed face. 

You hid your face behind your hands, groaning softly as your face started to feel extremely hot. You peeked at your boyfriend through your fingers, seeing that smug smile on his face, “Azul… this was a last resort,” you tried to explain, but he only set the page down and stood up again.

It was not like you did anything wrong. He was overworking his employees—he’s lucky you did not go Karl Marx on the guy and encourage the workers to arm themselves against him. When you met his eyes again, he was standing in front of you, gazing down at your seated form with a neutral expression. 

He was thinking of how to proceed. On one hand, you were the love of his life, and on the other hand, you were working against him. When he first heard of it, he was hurt, but after some reflection, he knew he could make you give up on this.

With a gloved hand, Azul traced over your face, enjoying the way you looked when you sat in front of him, gazing up as he stood. His hand cupped your jaw, thumb lazily tracing over your bottom lip. His pale skin was covered with a little blush over how your breath hitched, “You wouldn’t want to hurt me, would you?” he asked, leaning closer.

You shook your head as much as you could while in his grasp, “No, Azul… it's just—well, uhm, you know,” he stammered.

He played up a soft frown on his lips, and he felt your eyes trail to the beauty mark beneath his lip, “But, angel… when I saw that you were unionizing behind my back,” he paused, and sighed, brows furrowing slightly. He played you like a fiddle, “I was just so hurt,” he confessed. In reality, Azul did not care enough to be brokenhearted over your union attempts.

“I’m sorry, Azul,” you told him, and you were about to protest again, but he shook his head.

“If you had concerns, you could have just told me,” You bit your tongue, despite how you wanted to tell him that you had tried to complain to him and he put the profit motive above everything else. Instead, you just pouted and nodded to his words. You couldn’t help it. All you wanted to do now was kiss him since he got so close.

Azul’s hand remained on your face as he glanced back at the flyer, “And a fat rich man, angel? Really?”

“I didn’t make the flyers,” you blurted.

His gaze softened. He had you right where he wanted you, nodding to your words to make you relax before he leaned down and kissed your head. And then he bent down a bit to meet your lips, kissing you like you wanted. Azul’s hand slipped from your jaw to your shoulder, while his other hand rested at the backrest of the sofa so that he could lean down. 

Your hands immediately darted to grab him closer, tugging on his uniform blazer as your lips parted for breath, “Azul….”

He was blushing too, lips parted as he panted to catch his breath, “I thought I was an evil capitalist—what happened to your union?” he asked, teasing you.

Your brows furrowed softly and just pulled him in again, capturing his lips once again and groaning against his lips as you took the chance to take control, pulling him down on the sofa with you.

Azul’s eyes widened in surprise, his hat slipping off and his glasses nearly joining if he hadn’t held them up in time.

You showed up to the union meeting late, with your clothes all disheveled and your hair a mess.

“My, my,” chuckled Jade, as he took in your appearance with his piercing eyes. He knew that this would all end up like this, with you being too quick to bend to the will of his boss, and his boss being manipulative enough to get you to forget about your ambitious goals.

Floyd frowned, “Does this mean we’re not getting guns to threaten the capitalist class??”

Sevens, what a major fail.

©rooksamoris 2024. do not steal or translate my work!

[laz-kay]

Having analysed both Brad Bakshi and David Brittlesbee's characters so heavily over the course of the last few years, I can safely say that my theory of them being endgame has solidified.

Now, "endgame" doesn't necessarily mean they need to become romantically involved. I'm saying this as a diehard BradDavid shipper (maybe the BradDavid shipper), but there's a strong probability we have - in fact - been queerbaited with these two mfs. Shocking, I know.

We know there's a female character making an appearance in a later episode, and she's - supposedly - an ex lover of Brad's. I, for one, am thrilled we're getting an insight into Brad's personal life, and I think people are losing sight of that. There is every possibility Brad and David are two straight guys, and I still believe - with this theory - they belong together somehow.

There have been far too many circumstances where David and Brad have found comfort in each other, have shown vulnerability with each other, and have shared interests. The parallels between their characters - despite them being completely juxtaposed versions of the other - are stifling.

Being together doesn't automatically constitute a romantic relationship. Maybe these two trauma-filled individuals deserve to have someone who listens to them, who helps them become a better version of themself, and makes their life that little bit easier.

Brad and David are opposite ends of the same spectrum. The spectrum here being "fear of rejection and getting hurt". They go about hiding this phobia is completely different ways. David - being the open book he is - forces us to think nothing else is going on underneath his surface. He lays it out for all of us to see so we needn't ask about his mental health or his greatest fears, because we believe we already know everything there is to know.

Brad, on the other hand, is ambiguous as fuck. He's an aloof guy who's masquerading as a sociopathic capitalist in order to keep people distant. Keeping people distant - and somewhat frightened of you - means there'll be no questions. No questions means no opportunity for vulnerability, hence no reason to get hurt by any of his colleagues.

Analysing from the first season, it's apparent how much the two have changed; how much they're moving along the spectrum towards each other. Evolving, if you will. David has become more closed off, and Brad - miraculously - has opened himself up to helping people without any ulterior motive/self-gain.

It’s almost as if their job roles have shifted too. David becoming more corporate based and Brad leaning towards creative because of Dana. All David seems to talk about right now is monetary value and how COVID was great because it gave the video game franchise so much revenue. And Brad, despite having money at the back of his mind at all times, does have the creative team at heart. Every financial decision Brad has forced down the team’s throats has somehow benefitted creative more than corporate. Battle Royale? The Casino? Playpennies?

It's as if they're closing in on each other somehow; becoming more like the other because it makes them a better person? Their initial plans of hiding their fears haven't worked, so why not try the mirrored response?

Look, they both come from abusive households, have a crippling fear of losing people close to them, and hate showing vulnerability. There's a lot that is different too, but it's become increasingly obvious that these two dorks need each other in their lives. As friends and companions.

When David asked Brad to help him move, I'm convinced he thought he and Brad were already best friends. Hell, they'd worked together for the better part of a decade, still shared an office at that time, consistently called each other during lockdown to play a dumb video game for a bet, and Brad even helped David find a girlfriend. I'd believe we were buddies if I were David.

Brad is never seen without a long sweater/shirt on. During "Quarantine" when he's on a solo call with David, we see him for the first time in a short sleeved shirt exposing his arms. Almost like a subliminal way of letting Brad express vulnerability without meaning to. He's very slowly becoming softer and more "David-ish", and that's probably a good thing.

Idk, man. I just think these nerds need to get a shift on and move in together or something. Sit and have wine nights and talk about their shared trauma because societal norms suck and men should talk more and have more friends. They need to look after each other, because it's quite clear no one else is/will for a while.

[dollypopup]

We need to talk about misogyny in the lukola fandom, and how it originated in the rampant misogyny in the Polin fandom and just continued to grow, because unfortunately, the two deeply intersect, and there's been such a lack of nuance in so many discussions

interestingly enough, this is actually being exhibited in a lot of Luke Newton discourse. Not toward him necessarily, but to the women around him, in comparison to him, for better or worse, including Nicola. There's been a lot of discourse especially around Luke being 'jobless' in contrast to Nicola being 'booked and busy'. and even in rejection of that discussion, the defense becomes that she is an exception, because she is exceptional, and that of course others look less ambitious in comparison. And at first, I'm sure this LOOKS like it's praising a woman for her hard work and dunking on a man for what we imagine isn't.

but has anyone ever asked why Nicola is booked and busy, especially? does she want to be? or does she *have* to be?

I want you to think about just how many women over the age of 40 are getting major roles. How many love scenes you've seen that feature more mature women. How in Queen Charlotte, the focus was on a younger actress, how Violet's and Danbury's and Portia's and QCs actresses don't even have a kiss scripted.

How much of that is by design in the entertainment industry

Nicola, in many ways, is creating a recipe for burn out, but she works alongside wonderful actresses who are incredibly talented- and do not get the opportunities they SHOULD. Roles in the entertainment industry are largely written for young women in their 20s, young, conventional women. And Nicola KNOWS this. She's a businesswoman, and her craft IS her business. The clock is, unfortunately, ticking. This is a very insidious aspect of the misogynistic entertainment machine. Yes, Nicola is booked and busy right now- she's building her brand and trying to break out of the awful cycle of female actors getting a few big roles, and then get relegated to side characters or mum number 3. Should the entertainment industry write more roles for women over 40? YES!!! They should be major roles with poignant narratives!! But it isn't the reality we live in. She is actively fighting against the sexism of the industry she is living in, she cannot take a vacation.

Luke Newton, however, *can*. He has privilege as a man to take his time. Whilst Nicola's career is in danger of a downswing, Luke's is, by most statistics? Just beginning. Men continue to get major roles deep into their 30s, 40s, 50s. In fact, I think MOST male actors only build notoriety as they age. So Luke Newton has the privilege of TIME.

And let me very clear: I'm happy he can. And I wish Nicola could, too. Grinding ourselves to dust in the pursuit of the perfect capitalistic darling is only going to breed misery. The fandom is SO caught up in saying 'oh, look at how great it is that xyz has this role!' and 'booo he's unemployed and jobless etc. etc.' that we don't take the time to ask. . .why is it NECESSARY and in fact praise worthy to lick clean the boot of grind culture? Are we not all tired? Do we not all want downtime? Holiday? Vacation?

Luke Newton is doing what is healthy: he's pushing away from Social Media, didn't spend too much time promoting, disengaged from the fandom in online spaces but is still generous with his time in person, poured himself into his craft, did a hell of a promotion tour, and in the time between fitting and costumes and learning lines for Bridgerton Season 4? He's resting.

As. He. Should.

As *Nicola* should. Because she also pushed to continue engaging with a fanbase who she hopes will act as security for her as she ages out of the roles writers are pushing into the world. Nicola SHOULD BE ALLOWED HER REST!!! She should NOT be booked and busy!! She should NOT be grinding herself to dust for the sake of keeping herself in good light to become one of the few women who continue to be big names beyond her 40s.

She, however, can't. Not because of anything Luke Newton has done, he is not, as many people want to believe, a problem. He benefits from the system ALL his male coworkers do, and does his best to uplift the women around him, likely understanding the struggles of such having been raised surrounded by so many women, but he is not perpetuating the system or creating it. Instead of directing our criticism on Luke Newton, we SHOULD be directing it to the entertainment industry. So Luke Newton is on a break from a serial successful production he has a guaranteed role for: so what? He is afforded that privilege. Having downtime is not the death knell of his career as doomsayers are insisting.

The average age of an Academy Award Winner who is an actor is almost 50. The average age of an Academy Award Winner who is an actress is 37. (source)

Should we be mad? Yes.

Is this something to be mad at Luke Newton for specifically? NO. Many male actors take breaks and time in their career trajectory, because they know they have longevity. The discussion in this fandom is misplaced, and the root of that misplacement is twofold: sexism and capitalist worship. It isn't that Luke Newton lacks ambition and should be working harder- I argue he's doing what is best for him and most people in the long term. This is self care, and it's important.

No, the discussion is that Nicola is forced to work in a pressure pot because of the industry, and the fandom continues to praise her for it, all whilst turning noses up at those who don't or do not have to, and continuing to uphold the narrative that women must be a beacon of exceptionalism in order to curry respect. They continue to uphold her grind as a virtue- look how great it is that she's constantly posting, constantly engaging with the fandom, always auditioning, booked and busy- have you not asked if she would LIKE a vacation? she deserves one, same as Luke Newton.

What you're mad at is NOT Luke himself- but the patriarchy. What you're mad at is that women must be held to standards of near unreachable excellence. But instead of working together as women and having any actual discussion about it that's meaningful, it turns into a crock of shit that then shoves everyone in the backspray, especially other women.

The slutshaming misogyny that has been directed at Luke Newton's girlfriend- *yikes*.

Oh, A is a hanger on. She's 'poptart', she's portrayed with an ant emoji, she's 'toilet twerker', she's 'controlling him' or HE should control HER, she 'should be reigned in', she's jobless, she's an infant who needs her big strong boyfriend to take her social media away, she's not been 'claimed' (like luggage, like a THING), look at him, he doesn't feel ANYTHING toward her- not like Nicola.

Our good, darling Nicola versus that awful whore Antonia/Jade/Any Woman in Luke Newton's Circle.

This sexism is deep and pervasive- being angry he's dating her 'because she's thin'. Insisting she's a villain and everything she does is to 'rile up the fandom' or 'stir up trouble' or that she 'hates Nicola'.

You all do NOT know this woman. And I don't either!!! Maybe she IS a shit stirrer, maybe she is thriving in the drama.

But aren't most of y'all, too?

Polin fandom built so much off of putting down other women to uphold Penelope: Marina is a bitch who was TRICKING Colin and Penelope was just doing what she had to do!!! Of course she kept her secret from him, she was SCARED!!! Eloise is a privileged brat breaking the rules and putting herself in danger but Penelope is a rebel who is building her own success off of taking necessary risks!!!

Our good, Darling Penelope versus that evil whore Marina/Eloise/Cressida/Any Other Woman.

This fandom is predominately female. Most of us identify as women. And a lot of us are *mean* to other women. We uphold sexism in our fandoms, uncontested, as often as we please. But we frame it in criticism of a man and so that's okay- as if that in and of itself is somehow uplifting women, being tied to a feminist cause- but putting down other women in conspiracy theories and bullying them, as occurred to Jade, under the guise of 'oh I'm just criticizing Luke!' is disingenuous. It's an excuse. 'I'm mad at him for-' not being your fantasy.

And Nicola isn't, either.

The truth is, the people in this fandom don't have respect for EITHER of them, just in different ways. A pedestal is a pedestal is a pedestal, and no matter what, any human being will fall from it eventually. And this fandom has proven that when that happens, it will NOT be met with empathy.

Now think about who that will actually hurt in the long term.

A lot of people in this fandom have soul searching to do.

[a-very-tired-jew]

We have to talk about Leftist Antisemitism

One of the things I have been grappling with since Oct 7th is the rise of antisemitism in Leftist spaces. Often we find ourselves falling into the same old position of blaming the Right for these issues. However, over the past few decades minority voices have pointed out that the Left has issues with bigotry in its own way. For myself, and likely many other Jews, growing up in Leftist spaces I heard antisemitic jokes and lines all the time. However, they were never the overt hate fueled rhetoric I would hear from the Right. Conspiracies were relegated to "The Rothschilds control the world" rather than "The Jews control the world." Regardless of how you feel about the rich, the Rothschilds are a dog whistle for Jews. Hell, my own family members would say this same line because the majority of us are on the Left. So obviously we take a position regarding the ultra rich. However, this Rothschilds line isn't the only dog whistle. Often there were jokes at your expense from outside your in-group. Common refrains that *insert Jewish dog whistle* couldn't be trusted due to *insert conspiracy coded in Leftist language*. That's the issue... The antisemitism on the Left is coded in a language that makes it more subtle than overt rightwing antisemitism. But how did we get here? It definitely predates Oct 7th. We can partly lay blame at this at the feet of something that feels like an old and tired trope at this point: Russia. In particular, the good ole USSR. You see, dear reader, regardless of how you describe your sociopolitical and economics leanings, and regardless of whether or not you reject USSR style Communism, their style and impact still influence you and the rest of the world. As Leftists we often stand opposed to many aspects of Western capitalist ideals, which in turn exposes us to many of the anti-Western writings, philosophies, beliefs, etc... The issue is that the USSR has a very sordid history with antisemitism. Some of you may be saying "but wait! There were Jewish Bolsheviks! Stalin even supported Israel!", don't you worry. We'll get there. While there may have been Jewish Bolsheviks and members of the party post revolution, it does not change the policies and actions that preceded and followed. Robert Weinberg, Dara Horn, David Nirenberg, and other historians have all written extensively at some point or another about this very issue. I highly recommend Dara Horn's latest piece for the Atlantic "Why The Most Educated People in America Fall for Antisemitic Lies". She briefly covers this topic. If you can't access it, well here we go. Zionism as a concept had already been around for a few decades by the time the Communist Revolution occurred, having been solidified by the Dreyfuss Affair in the late 1800s. Zionism is/was also considered Jewish nationalism. While a Jew could be a Russian Jew, German Jew, or any other "nation" Jew, they were still considered an other and thus they could never truly be a nationalist for that country. Only for Israel/Zion. As such, Jews in the USSR were not trusted as it was argued they could not be truly devoted to the Party. Jews were then labeled as Zionists. Zionism was considered anti-Communist, and racist due to the Party purposefully putting out that the "chosen people" line meant that Jews were supremacists and believed themselves to be better than others (The chosen people line actually refers to us choosing to adhere to certain laws). As such, Zionist activities were shut down as they were an act of treason and betrayal. This means that synagogues, shuls, business, and more were shut down as a means to disrupt the "Jewish conspirators". It did not matter that Jews were involved in the revolution, if you were Jewish you were an other and could not be trusted. pt 1.

[rei-ismyname]

Marvel Voices: ICEMAN Highlights

Love the style here, written and drawn by Luciano Vecchio. That introduction is on point, so I won't add to it further.

It's set during the First Krakoan Age as Bobby deals with a lot of drama and tries to be happy. Very interesting that Bobby became more popular after terraforming Mars. It makes sense, but mutants usually get hate for any public actions.

Bobby Drake is in what I call his Ice Twink phase, his jokes actually get better lol.

Save the day, make out with the random guy. The crowd cheering them in the background is cute as hell.

He's even got a squad of out gay dudes on Krakoa, or just hanging with two buddies at the Green Lagoon.

Rictor and Northstar ask about his first love, Romeo, who will be showing up shortly. It's good that the age difference is mentioned with care - that has the potential to be handled very poorly.

Conveniently, Bobby and Romeo run into each other while doing superhero stuff. They're the same age again and those feelings never went away. Romeo was also caught up in a time thingy - wandering different dimensions for 10 years on a mission for the Royal Inhumans.

I LOVE that Iceman is invited to the Climate Action Summit. No shortcuts there, though he is capable of applying ice bandaids. If I was pitching a Krakoan era book it'd be built on the premise that mutants are a scientific and technological revolution, and Krakoa *should* be amazing news for every inhabitant of the world. They just need to co-operate/stop genociding them. Even the capitalists would be on board, hell especially the capitalists.

Unfortunately Bobby's high is shattered by the news that his bigoted father died, having refused Krakoan medication. His mother's comment would be more valid if Krakoa didn't literally give him a cure for cancer. Some people will never accept you, and Bobby craves his father's approval.

He works through it in a number of ways, but it's affecting his happiness and his mutant powers. There's some grief, but it's mainly the fact that his father rejected and spited him all the way to his deathbed. During a magical adventure with Loki, the two come up against an amalgamation of both their fathers.

Laufey is cruel, but Loki went no contact years ago. They consider Odin their father. Bobby's dad is just awful, shouting emphatic rejections and hitting him right in the feelings. Bobby feels small and has difficulty tapping into his Omega powers. Loki tricks him into believing he's 'lent his magic' and Bobby manages to beat the hell out of this father simulacrum. He finds it incredibly cathartic. Importantly, Bobby also seeks support from his friends especially Christian Frost and Romeo. He comes to terms with never getting that approval and comes to see it as worthless. Go Bobby!

[weiszklee]

Found this thing in my drafts from like two years ago and decided to finally finish it.

A while ago, I finished Michael Heinrich's introduction to the three volumes of Capital, and I finally have to get my thoughts about it out so I can stop repeating them in my head. Maybe someone else will find them interesting as well, and I will try to keep it understandable for people without background knowledge, but be warned that this is gonna be long.

Overall I quite liked it as an in-depth summary of one of the most influential works of leftist theory of all time, all 2k+ pages of the three volumes, its context in intellectual history, and its different interpretations throughout the Marxist tradition. It really is quite a feat to fit all that on 200 pages, and Heinrich's style is crystal clear throughout, while remaining committed to rigorous study of the original text. I would dearly recommend it if you're interested in history or if, like me, you just want to know what the hell all these Marxists are talking about.

The book begins with a super brief summary of the history of capitalism and the labour movement, then gives an overview of the reception of Marx' theory, over time coalescing into orthodox Marxism ("worldview Marxism") which Heinrich himself mostly rejects. These first two chapters are a quick and good read, have some entertainingly disparaging remarks for example about Lenin, and overall they accomplish the impossible: They make you excited to learn about Marx's actual theory which has been misconstrued and stripped of its subtleties by so many historical figures for their own ends.

It's a shame then that I did not find Marx's actual theory all that compelling:

The traditional labour theory of value, which was commonly accepted in Marx's time, is easy to explain (the difference in value between the raw materials and a product is produced by the workers, who receive some of this difference as wages, while the rest is profit for the capitalist) but just as easy to dismiss (How does the value of a product change so much over time when the workers always put in the same amount of labour? How does value sometimes not change at all when workers put less or more labour in? How does undeveloped land have value? ...), so Marx offers a more complicated account, as a sort of elaboration on the general idea of the labour theory:

Only the "abstract labour" produces value, parallel to the "concrete labour" producing the concrete product (its "use-value"). While concrete labor and use value are not fungible (the labor that produces one product can not produce another; and when I am in need of one product, a totally different one will not help me), abstract labour and value are fungible, and can thus be compared and ultimately expressed in the form of numbers. This abstract labor is only the "societally necessary" part of the concrete labor, basically what remains after several "abstractions", namely: average productivity; reductions for increased supply and for lowered demand; needed qualifications of the workers. Heinrich adds societal views as another abstraction, because for example, products which can be produced entirely by women or illegal immigrants tend to be worth quite a bit less.

What's the benefit of all this compared to just saying that value depends on a lot of things, and that one of the many deciding factors is the amount of labour required in the production process? The book does not say. Heinrich just asserts over and over that you can understand capitalism better (or at all) when you view it through this lens, without ever explaining why. Also even with all these complications, "abstract labour" still does not explain the value of undeveloped land. (Heinrich does finally explain the value of land much later in a footnote in chapter 10 while discussing the third volume of Capital. He does this unsurprisingly via the profit which can be expected from use of the land. This is reasonable, but it's a totally different kind of explanation, and the theory of abstract labour does not account for it at all.)

Granted, it's not like the marginalist theories which are popular among economists nowadays are any better. We all know why oil and gas suddenly got so expensive in 2022, and it has as little to do with the marginal utility of this oil and gas as it has with the labour required to extract them.

Reading Heinrich, I sometimes got the impression that Marx was just desperately trying to fit his other theories into the vocabulary of the labour theory of value because it was so broadly accepted back then, and because it's rhetorically useful for riling up the masses, but a naive labour theory was unsuited for his theories, so now we have this abomination of a compromise. Regarding riling up the masses, Heinrich does not repeat the typical orthodox Marxist slogans equating profit to value which is "stolen" from the workers, but when he says that workers only work part of the time producing the value which they receive as wages, and the rest of the time they are producing profit for the capitalists, that's pretty much the same statement with more words.

I do like how Heinrich hammers in the point that value is not some objective property of a product, it is a social relation expressed as a number. I just think he doesn't go far enough, partly because he refuses to entertain the idea that value is a result of the exchange itself. He says the exchange just reveals the value, and he then spends a lot of ink defending himself against accusations that he secretly wants to smuggle an exchange theory of value into a discussion of Marx. I think it could have been an interesting experiment to see how much of Marx would actually be compatible with an exchange theory. Take this (rather famous) Marx quote for example (MEW 23, page 88, my own translation).

People therefore don't relate their labour products to each other as values because to them these things are merely tangible hulls of undifferentiated human labour. The other way around. By equating during the exchange their different products to each other as values, they equate their different labours to each other as human labour. They don't know that, but they're doing it.

I get why some people get so obsessed with Marx. This stuff is electric, and clearly very far away from a naive labour theory of value. Add to this the idea that the equating Marx is talking about here is not just happening in people's heads but to his understanding is a real process within the social relations (a real abstraction if you have ever come across that formulation and wondered what that was), and everyone is thoroughly confused but intrigued. I don't care much for it though, it's very vague and a bit circular when you think about it in the context of value allegedly being produced by abstract labour. Also, equating different kinds of labour to each is obviously just what's happening on the labour market, not anywhere else. But it does seem to hint at an approach that centers exchange much more than Marxists let on.

Speaking of exchange, I was happily surprised by the discussion of money. Money is abstract value made concrete, but it is not an abtraction threatening the concrete. Abstraction is part of the whole process, money is just the inevitable expression of that abstraction. Heinrich goes so far as to call Marx' value theory a monetary theory of value, but I think that's a bit of wishful thinking. An actual monetary theory of value would be very interesting indeed, but Marx seems hobbled by his attempt to consolidate it with the labor theory of value. Today one would have to write that imagined monetary theory differently, not least because Marx' prediction that silver and gold will forever remain the quintessential money did not exactly come true.

So, these are like my main points about the big picture of Marx's theory. I have some others which go more into the nitty gritty, but they are also pretty fundamental so I'm afraid I won't be able to keep that short.

Firstly, value is not equal to price, nor is it mathematically derived from it somehow. This is insane. Heinrich makes a big deal out of emphasising that only for simplicity's sake he will assume in some of his examples and thought experiments that products are exchanged for their actual exchange value, but that in reality this is not so. He does not seem to think that this is a problem that might invalidate his examples. He even puts numbers on values, while also acknowledging that in realiy nobody knows what these numbers actually are. I admit I almost stopped reading after that. What is the point? Marx could say pretty much anything about value and it would be entirely unfalsifiable.

This also makes any causal statement about value dubious to say the least, because if nobody even knows the values of commodities, how can these values make anyone do anything? I can observe a commodity's price, the price has an obvious effect on my decision to buy it and on the capitalist's decision to have it produced in the first place. But according to Heinrich, basically the whole fabric of society is "mediated" by value. For that to be the case, value wouldn't just need to have any observable effect at all, but an effect that dwarfs the known effect of the price.

Somewhat relatedly, Marx and by extension Heinrich are very interested in the rate of exploitation. I find it a bit dishonest to use a word like exploitation and insist that you do not mean it as a moral judgement, just as a neutral description, but let's grant that for a second. The rate of exploitation is calculated as profit divided by wages, out of a misguided assumption that without someone extracting a profit, all the excess money would obviously go to the workers. He makes a big deal out of when this rate of exploitation rises and falls, but also says (correctly) that the individual capitalist does not care about it but only about the rate of profit, calculated as profit divided by all expenditures. He openly says that the rate of profit is what drives economic decisionmaking and then goes on as if this were a minor detail in the wider discussion of the rate of exploitation. But exploitation defined this way is not real. Workers are not more exploited when they work with more expensive materials and so their wages make up a smaller part of the overall expenditures. This is absurd.

The rate of profit will over time equalise across different companies and even across different industries and even sectors. Not completely, because you need to take into account that different industries have different risks, and also some industries are less open to newcomers, and investors just have historical preferences, and so on. But overall, if one industry has a much higher profit rate, it will attract more competition, until the profit rate is equalised again. As I understand it, value in Marx's theory is whatever the price of products would have to be, such that not the rate of profit but the rate of exploitation equalises across industries. This is mostly conjecture on my part though, because again, Heinrich is uninterested in empiricism and outright rejects all attempts to provide a mathematical way to convert between price and value.

There is other interesting stuff to talk about in this, like Heinrich's rejection of Marx's famous tendency of the rate of profit to fall (basically, this tendency was tought of as a well known and indisputable phenomenon back in the day, and in his attempt to make it work in his theory, Marx made an unsubstantiated assumption) or his rejection of the orthodox Marxist assertion that Marx's theories predict the inevitable collapse of capitalism (according to Heinrich, they only predict repeated cycles of crises).

Getting further into all this seems like idle rumination though. The whole theory is unsustainable anyway. And this is unsurprising given that it is over 150 years old. Hot take, an old ass economy textbook from back when the discipline was still in its infancy is just not that useful for making sense of the world today. Capital is historically interesting, and a lot of people find it inspiring. But I think people should stop treating it as a source of truth or insight.

[gabrielsbubblegumbitch]

First off, I absolutely adore your in-depth analysis and fantastic understanding of the Hazbin characters!! not sure how much you've touched on this topic particularly, but I'd love to hear your take on it! (esp w/ its relevance in szn 2)

How do you interpret the past dynamic between Vox and Alastor? Do you think Vox was genuine, close friends with Alastor, or were there hidden agendas of any kind? Given just how much their ideals and *everything* clash in present day, im curious yet struggling to pinpoint what exactly what MADE them acquaintances (and as close as they are implied to have been), besides solely their connection to technology and entertainment media, before their inevitable fallout. did Vox reallyyy change that much during his time in Hell? (or was there always an underlying tension between them?) (also, just, what the hell happened between these two)

Awww thank you ❤️

So, when it comes to Vox and Alastor, I think what brought them together was their ambition. Both of them crave power, though they define it differently. In my headcanon, at the beginning, Vox was more like Alastor because he didn't have enough influence to be his perfect self. Starting from nothing was hard for him because, like most capitalism lovers, he had never experienced building from scratch. Even though Alastor was simply useful to him, whatever they had was real. But it wasn’t genuine, because Vox is a narcissist, and we often attune to others perfectly. He liked Alastor, so he portrayed himself as someone Alastor would also like. In Vox's mind, this was just a way of caring for their friendship.

Additionally, Alastor is a very guarded person, so he wasn't fully genuine either. He hid things from Vox and often manipulated him because he knew how much Vox cared. Alastor cared too—he saw Vox as a perfect addition to his friend group, someone he could see as an equal. Knowing how driven and ambitious Vox is, Alastor seriously hoped they could rearrange Hell together, get rid of all the Overlords, and make the game more interesting.

The first issue that arose was Vox's greed. He wanted to expand (I wrote more about him here), but not in a way that Alastor liked. This was the first time Alastor realized that Vox might want to overthrow the ruling class just to take their place. Vox tried to explain that it was completely different—overthrowing old money would give power back to the people, creating a perfect anarcho-capitalist utopia, the ultimate survival of the fittest—something he and Alastor both wanted.

They were just two friends who started with a common goal but eventually realized they had very different ideas about making it real. Think Charles Xavier and Magneto or Dumbledore and Grindelwald. They began to notice flaws in their plan. On paper, a society where anyone can achieve high social status through determination and hard work sounds very free, very much up Alastor's alley. But upon deeper inspection, they realized that capitalism cannot exist without oppression and surveillance. It’s just a matter of whether it’s the government or corporations doing it.

Tension grew, and at some point, they couldn't stand each other. Especially when feelings came into the equation. Alastor hated that Vox loved the idea of him. He knew they were completely incompatible, and Vox would never truly love him, so it felt objectifying to know that, in Vox's mind, he wasn't even a real person, just something Vox wanted him to be. On the other hand, Vox was terribly frustrated with Alastor not playing along with his fantasy. They could have become the most powerful couple in Hell, but Alastor rejected both his advances and his ideas. However, the toxicity worked both ways—Alastor felt betrayed by Vox, so he became unnecessarily cruel and neglectful, trying to punish Vox for being who he was.

Okay, I know this take is filled with my personal headcanons, but I think that canonically their relationship followed this pattern of alliance based on common goals and mutual (mis)understanding, eventually falling apart after realizing they actually wanted very different things.

Regarding its relevance in season two, I expect that we will learn their exact backstory. I hope that after years of feeding into hate and bitterness, they will escalate this conflict until there's nothing but scorched earth. Also, I think we will learn that Alastor does, in fact, care deeply—he hates Vox fiercely but hides it better.

[hotcryptidsinyourarea]

Falling for the Frogman of Loveland, Ohio

story synopsis: Molly is a 30-something cookbook editor who has decided to move from New York to Loveland, Ohio after a bad breakup and a desire for a fresh start. She is instantly attracted to her neighbor Jeremiah's midwestern charms, but this local guy is much more than meets the eye...

human (she/her) + interdimensional humanoid frogman (he/him)

cw: aint-shit brooklyn hipster ex-boyfriend. millennial real estate angst. Ohio.

Chapter 1

I never thought in a million years I would end up in Ohio of all places. I’ve always fancied myself a real City Girl type. I grew up in the Houston metro area where I was more likely to be perusing the Galleria or eating sushi than I was engaging in any of the more agrarian behaviors outsiders assume Texans are wont to do but largely don’t. And then as soon as I graduated, I made my way to New York to officially start my life in the city I would never leave, as far as I was concerned.

But after 14 years of scraping by, 14 years of overpriced rent and skipping meals in order to afford the bills, I’ve had enough. I sold my furniture, wrapped up my loose ends, and made a break to escape the rat race. 

Okay, maybe I’m not some maverick refusing to buy into the capitalist hustle. My grand escape from New York is a little less Snake Plimson and more desperate-slash-dumped. I was supposed to move in with my boyfriend Mark, the gorgeous and brilliant photographer I had been seeing for three whole years. My lease with my last roommate was coming to an end, so Mark and I decided to do what grown ups supposedly do and finally get a place together to embark on the whole domestic bliss thing. I was absolutely looking forward to having someone to split expenses with, but even more so it felt like I was finally becoming a real adult. Moving in with your boyfriend in New York is, as far as lifestyle accomplishments go, the equivalent of getting married and having kids for people in the burbs. And I was ready to start this next chapter of my life knowing I was on track with the milestones expected of me. 

Unfortunately, Mark was not ready. At the big age of 36, he came to the conclusion that he didn’t know himself well enough to get tied down to a life of commitment– or even the eighteen months our lease would occupy. “There’s so much I still want to do,” he said. “It would be unfair to you if I was here physically, when my heart and soul are somewhere else,” he said. I wanted to deck him.  

Honestly, I can get over the rejection from a man who was self-admittedly only half present, but his dumping me put me in a position far more precarious than heartbreak: sitting there with just six weeks to find an affordable place to live in New York City. Not impossible, mind you, but a significant burden where I will absolutely be forced to make concessions regarding what I want. I was looking down the barrel of a too much for too little housing situation that I’d be stuck in for the foreseeable future. It wasn’t out of the realm of possibility that I would end up in a street level roach motel with a toilet in the kitchen for no less than $4000/month. 

But after a few hours online searching for options, the algorithm gods smiled down upon me. I was scrolling through my feed having just double tapped on a high school friend’s baby announcement when I saw it: a targeted ad that read: GET PAID $30,000 TO LIVE AND WORK IN OHIO. 

$30k is not going to make me a wealthy woman, by any means, but it’s a hell of a lot more than I stood to lose trying to find acceptable lodging in the city. And while I had a decent social circle I didn’t want to abandon, my desire to go out and spend my free time (as well as my not-so-free-money) had dwindled as of late. I found myself avoiding the parties and bars where I more often than not spent the evening straining my voice just to have a simple conversation with someone I can barely even hear in favor of staying in to read with a glass of wine while brainstorming fan theories with other members of one of the several fandom Discord channels I belong to. And my job has essentially become 100% remote as of late. Any essential meetings I may need to attend could be covered as a business trip, but considering most of my job involves research and grunt work versus client-facing duties, it likely wouldn’t come up at all. I was free to leave New York. 

That is to say, my curiosity was piqued. So I clicked. And I applied. Then in what felt like a whirlwind courting, I was put into contact with a state worker who walked me through the grant application with the kind of midwestern charm I found refreshing after over a decade of city cynicism. I was then presented with a selection of eligible properties, mortgage options, and even connections to discounted moving services. Seemingly quicker than one could say “buckeye state,” I had a home lined up for me. 

A month later, here I am: driving west to Loveland, Ohio. I would never admit it out loud to my friends in New York, but when I saw the option for the little single story bungalow in a town called Loveland, I was instantly drawn to the romanticism of the name. I’ve never considered myself a romantic. After all, my last relationship was built more upon a desire to live a D.I.N.K. lifestyle than some sort of deep, burning passion between two souls made of the same. But finding this opportunity to start anew in an actual hand-to-god house that I could feasibly own felt more like a whirlwind case of woo than dating men ever did. After all, having a place of one’s own to which she can safely escape has been an unattainable dream for women throughout the recorded centuries. 

I am not so jaded as to deny the appeal of true romantic love; the security of a trusted partner and the comfort of consistent, pleasurable sex is not something I would turn away if it presented itself. But I also accept the fact that those ideals are born from a rather modern mindset born from the emergence of the bored middle class who desired a genteel way to express their own horniness disguised under the veil of “art.” 

Well, I mostly know that. Maybe it’s all I’m allowing myself to believe in order to keep myself from being disappointed when I inevitably never experience the kind of love that makes one write poems and paint portraits. I mean, there’s ample evidence in this world that some people truly do fall in love  I recently read that the English poet and surrealist patron Edward James was so in love with his dancer wife Tilly Losch, he had the impressions of her footsteps woven into the stair’s carpet in their home together, creating a tribute to their shared intimacy and the love he held not just for her physicality, but her contribution towards turning their house into his home. 

Of course, Edward and Tilly ended up divorced. To his credit, James didn’t destroy the carpet upon the dissolution of his marriage and her subsequent campaign to pin it on his bisexuality rather than her infidelity. Instead he ended up donating it to an arts’ college and replaced the one in his home with a new commission– this time, featuring the pawprints of his beloved dog. C’est l’amour! One day you’re in love with your gorgeous dancer wife and her elegant footsteps, the next, she’s outing you in divorce court and you’re making lobster telephones with Salvador Dalí. 

So with all that in mind, I find myself here in the Cincinnati suburbs, heading directly to my new life in a land of love smack dab in the middle of The Heart of It All. But despite how it sounds, I’m not holding out for a hero. I will happily settle for falling in love with my new life and my new house. 

I may not be in love, but I am definitely crushing on my new place. As I pull into the driveway, I feel my heartbeat quicken in excitement. It’s so BIG! I mean, I’m from Houston– I know how big houses can be and this isn’t a mansion by any means. In fact, the listing called it a “modern cottage” style, insinuating that it’s on the smaller side of homes. But I’ve been apartment dwelling in New York for so long, I feel unsure about what to do with so much space to myself. I don’t have even close to enough furnishings to fill this place. There shall be much shopping in my foreseeable future. And there isn’t just a yard– there’s two! I might take up gardening. Maybe I’ll get a dog. My head is swimming with the possibilities. 

I grab my bags from the car and saunter up to the front door. It’s not my first time across the threshold– I flew out here before closing to oversee the inspection and get to know the area. But none of that diminishes my excitement. After all, this is my first home! I get to have a little bit of romanticization within the experience. As a treat.

The first thing to notice when walking into the house is the spacious open-plan kitchen and living area. The kitchen is what really excited me about this house. As an editor for cookbooks, I spend a lot of time there developing and testing. And now with all this room, I can fill it with every specialized tool and rare ingredients my little heart desires. The kitchen island fills the space and features a dozen or so drawers and cabinets of all different shapes and sizes to accommodate all my storage needs. And the appliances are perfect. The refrigerator is a pistachio green color with a design that looks like it came straight out of the 1950s, but it’s actually brand new and energy efficient. The stove features a gas range as well as a griddle top– the kind my Nana used to make us pancakes whenever we’d stay with her over Christmas. There’s also plenty of room for me to set up a desk for when the actual writing needs to occur. I’m going to get so much done!

The rest of the house is perfect for me. The master bedroom faces the east, so the sun pours in as soon as it rises. The connecting bathroom has a huge clawfoot tub AND a corner shower with rain-style fixtures. The second-largest room features floor-to-ceiling built-in bookcases that basically called to me when I first saw them in the listing. I was planning on converting it into a dual-use library-slash-guest room, but now that I’m here, I wonder if I’ll be willing to share it with any guests. Is it considered gauche for a grown woman to commit an entire room to house her hardcover romantasy collection? Well, they might just have to call me fucking gauche because I am seriously considering it.

Besides, the smallest third bedroom could serve as a perfectly adequate guest room. It can barely fit more than a bed and a dresser, but it would work. Between the future library and future guest room is the second bathroom. It’s not as nice as the master bath, but all the fixtures are new and the tiling is a really cute black and white subway style that will go well with the modernist decor I have in mind. 

But decorating, working, filling up bookshelves– those are all to-do items for the near future. At the moment, I should really focus on the tasks at hand. First, I need to unload the rest of my things still in the car. The storage pod I have the majority of my possessions in is scheduled to be in my driveway in a couple days, but I brought the bare necessities along with me. After that, I will need to get some food in me. I make a mental grocery list while I unload the car. 

I got the entire $30k from the grant, but I only needed $20k for the down payment, leaving me with a nice chunk of change to invest in a new-to-me hybrid sedan. I haven’t owned a car since I sold the one I drove in high school after graduation. But considering I grew up in a city that is mostly a collection of zig-zagging freeways and pavement, I am pretty comfortable behind the wheel even after all these years of living by the graces of public transportation. The autonomy granted with a personal vehicle is not lost on me. No more showing up late due to MTA delays or having to avert my eyes from strange male passengers whose hands are conspicuously not in plain sight, though still in visible motion. Instead, I now get to enjoy the comfort of a working air conditioner and the freedom to belt out Beyoncé songs at the top of my lungs. Which is exactly what I do on my drive to the supermarket.

[smytherines]

Extremely specific neurodivergent curtwen headcanons that crack me like an egg:

ADHD Agent Mega is practically fan canon at this point, but I feel like we focus on him being bored & fidgeting more than other ADHD issues. Like I imagine so much of his macho guy bluster is 1. from being gay in a homophobic society, but also 2. From Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria. I dunno, something about the way he gets so flustered and defensive when people criticize him (which happens constantly)?

I've been thinking about maybe Curt being dyslexic? Like maybe he doesn't read briefings because they're already difficult to focus on, but also they're literally difficult to read? He mixes up information no matter how hard he tries. He's learned to stop trying and pretend he's just too cool for that nerd shit, but whenever someone gives him a hard time for screwing up he takes it really really personally? He has big emotional outbursts, which is especially tough as a closeted gay man in the 1950s-1960s

I have a lot of headcanon about autistic Owen Carvour, but it's kinda weird because he's canonically the villain of SAF, and that tends to stray uncomfortably into "he was always a monster" OR "the fall made him into a monster." So with autistic Owen headcanon it veers too close to saying that being autistic made him a monster (yikes, no) or that becoming disabled (no way in hell he doesn't have chronic pain issues after all that) made him a monster (also yikes, no).

So for me, the way that I frame it is like... okay so Owen is literally masking in the show, but I think about what that says about him that one of the major details we know about him is that he is very good at pretending to be other people. I'm a heavily masked autist myself, so this really resonates with me. With autistic men there are some very specific stereotypes like math, bad at social interaction, etc. But I think Owen would have a profile more stereotypically attributed to women: being hyper aware of everything around him, using "movie talk" or just remembering interactions with others and having a script. I don't know how to explain it exactly, but it's like you enter a situation and you can more or less suss out what people are expecting from you in that situation, so you just flip through your mental rolodex of phrases and deliveries and ways to stand and hold your face that align with their expectations of you. You become adept at blending in.

I would fully believe that Owen reads every briefing multiple times and has charts and diagrams, and maybe before the fall part of why he does that is that he knows Curt is a talented agent but just struggles with that part of the job, and Owen feels protective of him. Like he gets that Curt is impulsive and feels the need to be a counterweight to that. It feels like Curt blocks out information and takes in stimuli, and Owen blocks out stimuli but takes in as much info as humanly possible.

Then there's all the villain shit obviously. This is extreme headcanon territory, but one part of being autistic is what they call the "autistic sense of justice." That absolutely does not mean that autistic people have some preternatural ability to be eternally on the right side of history, we all have our individual identities and experiences coloring what we consider "justice," but just on a personal level being autistic and becoming disabled radicalized me. It led to me becoming anti-capitalist & anti-imperialist. It drastically changed my perception of right and wrong because I had to interrogate my own understanding of power, the way the concept of "crime" is created (like you get jail time for shoplifting, but your boss doesn't get punished at all for stealing money out of your paycheck).

I've already done ridiculous long posts about the political stuff, but I do think that an autistic person, especially one who has gone through a massive trauma, might come through it with a new understanding that the US/UK governments are actually pretty awful, that ignorant brutes shouldn't be in charge of politics and information.

I dunno I probably have more but I've already dumped too much here

[33shadowhunters]

Random thoughts in class but for someone who hates Slytherins jkr sure is very ambitious. I mean, prejudiced, capitalist rich women, tried 6 times to get books published, got rejected, didn't give up, got her break with the seventh one, then went on to make HP a blockbuster brand, complete with several novellas, sequels, prequels, it's own movies.

Went on to earn a fat ton of money, fame, publicity, is openly transphobic and gets criticized for it. But does she care? No, cause she got money and power.

Hell HP is getting its very own hbo series with big budget and a theme park (unsure abt this one but probably). That woman's gonna be Richie rich.

[tfdtreasurer]

what if eridan was woke and instead of being the prince of hope shes the democratically elected leader of hope

Hell yeah, down with the monarchy.

She already knows that to be nobility is to be evil. That's like step one. Step two for her is just getting rid of the idea that she has to remain the nobility, or at the very least identify as it. Mind you, this is Eridan. Of all the trolls, she's very strangely the most, and I mean this genuinely, working class coded. Her natural state of speaking, without her doubled vs and ws, remains improper and vulgar. She has a schedule, and works for her living. Her room is full of her work equipment. It might also be full of her wealth but presumably she did technically earn it through her own labor (which is most likely murder but still). Unlike other trolls who seem to do their things as hobbies or training, for her, orphaning is a job. She straight up calls it a hassle. This girl fuckin hates her 9-5 and actively daydreams about not coming into work tomorrow and the whole world crumbling because of it. But then she still goes into work the day after. This of course makes Eridan the syndicalist ideal, of a vital industry perfectly organized (by being one person), with functionally infinite striking power (everybody would die).

Like, that is the thing that makes Eridan so fun to love as a socialist woke. She is basically the Objectivist and Communist ideals, simultaneously. She is in the position of the titular, allegorical Atlas from Atlas Shrugged, a book by a moron person for moron people. But, whereas Rand's book is stupid, because it attempts to attribute the ability to strike to the capitalist, industrialist class, and pass this off as a representation of reality through its allegory, Homestuck, and the Alternian system it presents isn't, because it actually shows the absurdity of such a contrivance and the unimaginable cruelty it would take to keep it in place if it were real. Sighhhh, I just wish Eridan could've actually brought up her orphaning as labor, and starving Gl'bgolyb as a strike action. Oh how I love you Eridan-as-a-symbol-for-the-indomitable-power-of-the-striking-worker~

This is way more woke than you may have bargained for but I'm on a roll. Heck, screw "democratically elected leader" as a sburb class, it's a mouthful. Instead, I want full on anti-establishment Punk of Hope Eridan. It'd be a cute little inversion of her initial perception of what the prince class is, of having jurisdiction over ones aspect, to represent a more developed, anarchistic view that nobody can control your aspect. Eridan as a punk also works well with her as an iconoclast, and in opposition to Feferi's more problematic traits.

And I want to tack this on: All roads lead back to Erikan for me, because I also just love the idea of Eridan's potential character development being represented through fashion aesthetics, as Kanaya helps her express herself through clothing. There's plenty of aesthetics to choose from depending on the exact path of her development, too. The more hectic the route, the more cute outfit changes Kanaya can facilitate, because fashion/makeover montages are always good. Kanaya's first instinct might be to go princesscore for her, but she could reject it. Perhaps she doesn't fully abandon her hipster coffeehouse roots at first and goes a little beatnik. Or, she starts off her fashion journey still with a consumerist instinct that guides her to a more mod look. Or, she embraces the way that she worked for Feferi which leads her to a more working class look as a skinhead (and I mean actual skinheads, not nazi poseurs who can fuck off). Chelsea cut Eridan save me.. Save me Chelsea cut Eridan. And of course, to represent her as an ultra abrasive iconoclast, just go straight up punk.

Anyways I gotta post this now and not later because talk about timing

[onesidedradiostatic]

I like the idea that the Vox and Val teamup was after the Vox and Alastor fallout. Bc it would confirm to Alastor that he's right to hate the guy, while also opening the question of if Vox changed after getting power or had always been that way and just hid it for power.

Also because if they had eachother's backs it would prevent Alastor from, y'know, devouring either of their souls. Much to his disdain.

(kindaaa related to this?)

I actually see the vox and val teamup happening a bit before their fallout if only because the Key Event that caused their fallout was vox asking alastor to join his "team", if not val then what team did vox have for alastor to join?

it's interesting though you know, I see like so many different interpretations of when the falling out happened, like I have it so set in my mind that it happened DECADES ago a bit after vox met val, but then I see people talk about it like it was 7 years ago or see fics where velvette is already in the picture and vox and alastor are still friends. it's just wild, it reminds me that wow this is in fact still an unknown factor in the canon show.

anyways getting a bit off-track, I do like wonder about whether vox just changed and became worse as time went by or if he was always like that when he first arrived in hell, it's interesting that either possibility is viable simply cause of the standards of heaven and how characters like sir pentious can still end up in hell. did vox start out not-that-bad and was just encouraged to become worse because of hell's horrible environment? or was he that bad in life already? I mean usually in my interpretations he was already pretty bad in life just cause then I don't need to think too hard about it and also because I don't like blaming the way he is now completely on alastor like some people do but that doesn't mean the idea of him starting out not-as-bad and becoming worse over time isn't interesting. he was definitely always a capitalist though

but yeah uhh I have it in my head that their falling out happened some time after vox met val, aside from the "asked me to join his team" thing I just like the idea of there being an overlap between vox associating with alastor while also associating with val. like you KNOW this guy tried to introduce val to alastor like he's so cool and alastor is like "oh?" and then val makes a sexual comment then alastor goes "oh." and has it cemented in his mind "no. no. get him away from me" (and so started the whole "val is an alastor repellent" thing)

but I can absolutely see like the OFFICIAL voxval partnership only happening after vox and alastor's falling out. like when vox offered for alastor to join his evil polycule it was like "okay we're going to start this me you and val" and they were supposed to debut all 3 together but then alastor rejected him so he ended up just officially partnering up with val after the fact.

and I mean I'm sure with like every new thing alastor started to dislike about vox proved to him more and more that every new negative feeling towards vox was right.

[planet-crait]

It’s time for Lost and Founders day and I’ve heard this is a potential totally rough one so uh I’m very nervous. Ohhh we have a 22 minute episode yeah it’s going to be big.

Oh Mr. Guzman so excited about his hat. Wait where did it go? How did Hazel snatch it off of his hat? I’m impressed by both her skill and uh bravery lolz.

I love how unamused Mr. Guzman is by Hazels antics but also just takes his hat back and doesn’t say anything else.

I feel like a festival celebrating billionaires is uh capitalistic hell lolz. Ohhh Devs not wearing the sunglasses still aww!!! He’s still being kind of snotty but I don’t expect that to change overnight and given that he feels this is a super big deal and something his dad appreciates I get why he’s acting like this.

Are those just Apple Watches lolz? Or wait maybe closer to a magic bands functionality since they don’t tell time lolz. I love Devs smile as he just deadpans no. It’s just. I like seeing the tiny child smiling okay?

Wait let Cosmo go he’s onto something I just know it I don’t trust Dale or any billionaire as far as I can throw them (I don’t count Dev he’s a literal child it’s different).

Okay I died when Hazel proudly declared she and Dev are friends and trusts the watches because they’re friends like. Gosh it’s so cute. But oh poor Dev if something IS going on? She’s going to blame Dev who likely doesn’t know anything as a literal child. Dev is so like excited for his dad and thinks he’s amazing. He’s the worst but Dev being excited for his dad is precious.

Uhhh okay so I’m not an electrician or anything but I doubt electrocuting users is a great thing lolz. Oh Hazel you’re so cute though. I love how excited she is about the hat.

Oh oh Dev he’s so nervous talking to his dad can I hug him? Please? He needs a hug I can feel it.

Aww Dev is trying so hard to find something to do with his dad. I kind of want to cry the poor thing. He’s nervous around his dad but clearly also wants some sort of physical comfort for him he literally tried to ask if he could just. Hold his dad’s hand? I could cry right now.

DALE HOW COULD YOU NOT LOVE THIS CHILD HES WILLING TO EAT A LIZARD FOR YOU!!!! A lizard!!!!

Oh Devs so sad when he realized his dad wasn’t even listening oh no my heart.

Dev goes from so hopeful to crushed when his dad rejects anything else for him oh. He’s trying so hard

Primary function? What the actual fuck Dale?? HES YOUR SON!!! He wants to do stuff with you!!! For you!!! He loves you so much WHY CANT YOU LOVE HIM IN RETURN?!??!!

Each Dimmadone adds a statue?? That’s going to get crowded fast.

Oh no Dev is so hopeful. Wait Dev mentions it was his birthday to the day but Dale said 9 years ago. Dev is only 9 i thought he was 10 my bad. Oh no. I know what Dev is thinking and I have a bad feeling it’s not. Oh but Dev looks so hopeful and excited oh.

Just. This precious child.

I’m so scared he’s about to get his heart crushed he thinks it’s a father and son statue. I have a bad bad feeling about this. Dale is the worst, I doubt he would include Dev but maybe hopefully I’m wrong?

Aww Hazel is so excited about this hat lolz. It’s so adorable.

Wow uh I’m impressed people are respecting the drones lolz. Like they’re standing and waiting patiently for one to scan them. Most unrealistic part of the episode if I’m being honest. Maybe the entire series.

Wait you didn’t set up your booth before it started??? Really???

Hazel. You’re so precious I love your excitement over a hat. It’s such a kid thing to do. Oh Cosmo and Wanda are talking to the Wells. I hope this goes well.

Oh yep this went off the rails immediately. I love Wanda’s increasing panic as Cosmo makes it worse like COSMO!!! Think before you speak? Human males don’t give birth and don’t live thousands of years!! You’d think with how like accepting people seem to be now in Demadelphia they’d just roll with Cosmo and Wanda are both trans to avoid this? You’d think.

Or was this a Nick thing where having trans characters was “too much” or something stupid like that? How they could pull that when they have canonical mpreg I’ll never know.

Wait do the Wells just think they’re trans and are too awkward to admit it? I’m trying to get a read on the look they shared lolz.

Well it’s sweet they’re still talking to Cosmo and Wanda and are curious about their son. Oh well at least Wanda is fumbling it just as hard lolz. I love how confused the Wells are.

Smooth Wanda. Smooth. That won’t raise any suspicion at all. She didn’t even try to recover and just ran off lolz. Curious that this is the first time we’ve seen Poof mentioned so far.

Oh look past wishes are here! Hey uh drones admitting it’s poorly constructed won’t get you many people interested. Cosmo and Wanda disguised there Wanda as lollipops I love it.

Oh Cosmo. STOP BLATANTLY USING MAGIC IN PUBLIC!! Him getting crushed by a hat filled with ten galleons of something is kind of funny though.

Aww I love how much Hazel wants to show that this is her home now. Some great growth for Hazel. Okay but I do feel Cosmo on not hearing words correctly like. I feel that.

Hazel you’re so excited but calm down kiddo it’s rude to interrupt!!! Really? Admitting what the focus groups think? I mean he’s a billionaire so people will probably still buy his stuff and justify it somehow.

I love how Hazel is sitting on Cosmos shoulders and getting so excited. She’s so excited lolz. Also love how little her dad is worried about it. Great dad right there. Only three questions? Really?

Lolz oh Cosmo you sweet summer child. Misunderstanding things said verbally you understand me.

Cosmo and Wanda why are you surprised the statue is talking? YOU GRANTED THE WISH?? Wait why is one of only three founders have a Toga? I’m confused? How are their only three founders but one seemingly so much older than the other two? How often and when do new statues get added? Is Doug Dimmadone dead and that’s why a new one is being added?

Oh Dev. Oh Dev you sweet naive child. Your dad doesn’t want to help kids he wants money. Oh sweetie. I need to hug him immediately and punch Dale.

Oh Dev. Oh Dev you’re so sweet. He just wants his dad’s love and his dad does not love him at all. Ohh it’s Hazel it’s Hazel. I know she’s the anomaly. But how does she not want anything she wants the hat???

Oh Hazel you’re so cute you want to help other kids have a great day I love that. Lolz are the drones sad they can’t do their jobs? Why do I feel a little bad for them? Okay between the watches and the cut the line pass that says fast pass on it I can’t help but feel the show is making digs at Disneyland lolz. The drone thinks it’s insane. I didn’t think drones could feel like that.

Oh Dale you’re so horrible. Accurate billionaire. But still feel so bad for Dev. Dev trying to keep up with his dad. Aww Dev you’re so cute and so exciting oh no. It’s. It’s boots. His. Boots are his. Bundle of joy he got on the day of Devs birth….THAT COMMENT BEFORE WAS A JOKE I DIDNT WANT DALE TO NOT EVEN CARE ABOUT DEVS BIRTH IT WAS A JOKE.

HOW COULD YOU DENY THIS PRECIOUS CHILD BEING ON THE STATUE WITH YOU??? LOOK AT HIMMMMM.

His face. When he thinks his dad is talking about him. He’s been denied love and affection and he thinks he’s finally getting it and he doesn’t.

Oh gosh. Oh he admitted the boots are what matters most to him. Also Wanda and Hazel looking like concerned about this. Yes give me people seeing what Dev is going though damn it. Aww Cosmo crying for Dev even though he doesn’t realize I think they’re related. Oh wait he’s crying over Poof my bad. Would have loved to see that concern for Dev and NO DEV NOOOOO DONT CRY!!! Let me hug you child!!!!!

You can pinpoint the exact second my heart shatters with Devs.

Incase anyone is wondering how I feel about Dale right about now.

That image sums it up pretty nicely. Only Hazel even noticed he left oh no.

Hazel you are such a good friend going to check in Dev. Oh you sweet child you’re such a good friend. Oh you’re waiting for the trivia winner to be announced and oh no she forgot about poor Dev. SOMEONE CHECK ON THE SMALL CHILD PLEASE HE LOOKS SO SAD.

Oh Dev, you’re being so sarcastic I love that for you lolz. Aww Dev is trying to protect Hazel you’re so sweet and such a good friend. Dev oh you naive child. Oh poor baby.

Aww Dev you’re hurting so much but you’re still trying to protect Hazel oh sweet child. Oh Dev he’s so worried about Hazel but wants to talk but can’t but honey. Just tell Hazel what’s going on she’ll listen to you she trusts you. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no this is going bad oh no. He’s panicking and Hazel thinks he’s being mean to her again but he’s just scared for her and doesn’t know how to communicate this stuff. Oh no. Oh Dev you’re such a good friend but Hazel is going to be furious with you.

A slight animation error I noticed. When Dev and Hazel talk he doesn’t have the glasses, then they appear on his face when he steals the hat then they’re immediately gone when he’s running.

I thought maybe the glasses were meant to show he’s masking from Hazel again but they vanish again so quickly.

I just noticed Dev also snatched the watch which smart remove both elements your dad was tracking her with.

Dev you’re so proud of yourself for tricking your asshole dad. Oh wait the founders statues were already alive? Wait then what did Cosmo and Wanda poof up I have questions.

Wow uh. Yep Dale is as evil as I thought. Wow uh. Wow. This is a lawsuit waiting to happen. False imprisonment and harming people? Wow. And people will buy from them still?

Cosmo is right again and no one will believe him. Hazel asking the real questions. Lolz 😂 wait why isn’t this historian questioning the wish part? Why is he cool with Magic? Hazel priorities. Oh someone finally believes Cosmo. Finally. Not even Cosmo believes it lolz.

I love Hazel swinging her legs trying to walk in the bush with Cosmo and Wanda but her legs are too short to reach the ground. Why is she so cute and precious?

Hazel sneak faster Cosmo isn’t that good. Wow uh blatantly showing what the evil plan is lolz. Oh Hazel oh Hazel you are so right Cosmo would do that. He really would. Aww Cosmo is having fun dancing lolz.

Oh oh no. Oh no. Hazel please listen to Dev. He didn’t know he didn’t know he wanted to change it! He was trying to help you!!! Oh Dev he sounds so sad when he mentions he was helping her. He tried to help he tried. HES A CHILD WITH NO FAIRYGODPARENT WHO REALLY NEEDS ONE HE DID HIS BEST HAZEL! For once Hazel is kind of wrong not even giving him a chance to explain she just refuses to listen and stormed off on I’m crying oh Dev.

Oh. Oh the drones know what Dev needs and it’s the one thing they can’t give him. Oh this hurts. SOMEONE PLEASE HUG THE CHILD. Oh he has a photo of him with Hazel my heart. Oh my heart. The thing he’s most sad about seems to be Hazel since he mentions her first and oh she was his first real friend and he thinks he’s lost her.

DEV FINALLY GETTING A FAIRY FINALLY!!! IVE SEEN THIS SCENE SO MANY TIMES I FINALLY GOT TO SEE IT!!! Oh Dev he honestly should have long had a fairy with what he goes through like why did it take so long for him to get one? Was it because he’s been in denial for awhile about his dad not loving him and when the reality finally hits it breaks him? I could see that I suppose? Maybe? BUT I NEED HAZEL AND DEV TO MAKE UP PLEASE DEV NEEDS A FRIEND NOW MORE THEN EVER HE HAS NO ONE WHO LOVES HIM HE NEEDS SOMEONE DAMN IT.

Oh Dev failed to communicate properly and Hazel just assumed the worst of Dev which is so sad. They’re just kids so I understand how things went wrong but it hurts so much seeing Dev hurting so much.

I’m going to be in agony until they make up again (please let them make up and be friends PLEASE).