#robin incorrect quotes

[bat-stuff]

Reporter: about your late son, Jason…

Bruce, with tears in his eyes: I miss him every single day

Meanwhile at the manor:

Jason, throws popcorn at the tv while watching a documentary: I DON’T CARE ABOUT THE FUCKING BEES

Jason: SHOW A GUY THE MOUNTAIN GOATS

Alfred: Master Jason, please take your anger of animals to a lower level

[msfantasy-comics]

Dick Grayson is Romani not Romanian!

Y/n: How often do you visit Romania?

Dick: I’ve never been to Romania.

Y/n: Really? I just figured you visited regularly because you have a Romanian background.

Dick: I don’t have a Romanian heritage babe, Im Romani American.

Y/n: Huh? Aren’t people from Romania called Romani?

Dick: … no sweetie…

[ryemiffie]

Quotes from my day as teen titans quotes this time!

Starfire: Didn't you learn anything?! Appearances are all that matter!

Dick!Robin: Hey! I grew up with a celebrity and I can attest that appearances are not all that matters!

Starfire:

Dick!Robin: It's also smell, that matters a lot too!

[helpiamlostsomewhereinthegarden]

Wally: Hey Tim can you spell orange for me?

Tim on 30 min of sleep: the fruit or the color?

Wally:…….

Cassie:…….

Kon:…. Okay I guess it’s team nap time huh?

[demonicsuffrage]

Bruce has a strict 'no metas/powers (except duke) allowed in Gotham' policy in place but it has a clause, BYOR (Bring Your Own Robin)

No one is allowed entry untill and unless they can produce their very own certified robin-shaped identity card

Whenever someone with even a hint of supernatural powers in them arrives at Gotham, they're first met with Bruce standing at the city border with a notepad in hand

Bruce: State your name and purpose.

Kon: Kon-el, here to hangout!

Bruce: Your Robin?

Kon, flourishing Tim from behind him: Ta-Da!

Tim, waves: Hey Bruce

Bruce: Approved, you may enter

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bruce: Name and purpose?

Hal: Here to investigate a case, Hal Jordan

Bruce: Your Robin?

Hal: I.... don't have one?

Bruce: Denied

Hal: What?! But-

Bruce: Denied.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bruce: Yes, Wally, where's your robin?

Wally: Oh shit lemme just- *zaps away and returns with Dick, who was in the midst of brushing his teeth, in a bridal carry*- Here!

Bruce, grumbling a little: Fine. Approved.

Dick: You gotta stop using me as a key already, man

Wally: Blame Bruce.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bruce: Name and purpose?

Clark: Clark Kent, here for our monthly barbecue

Bruce: Robin?

Clark, producing an actual robin bird: Does this count?

Bruce:.....yes

[abcdfghjklmpqrobin]

Damian becoming the Doctor of the family, treating the Bats when they're injured, and taking care of them... But doing so in the most evil unhinged ways possible.

Damian, injecting something into Bruce's arm: I'll give you an anesthetic but you are in no condition to fight, Father. You'll be on bed rest until I clear you.

Bruce, already standing up, no fucks given: Thanks, Damian. But I really need to catch these people, they are– They–

Bruce: *Begins to stumble in place* They– y-you–

Damian:

Bruce, falling to the ground: W-what did you–?

*Evil boss music starts playing in the background*

Damian, slowly approaching: Oh, sorry, did I said I would give you anesthetic? I meant to say a paralyzing agent.

Bruce:

Damian: Don't worry, Father, Black Bat will take care of the case...

Damian, carrying Bruce back to bed:And you, as I said, will be on bed rest until I clear you.

*Evil music intensifies*

*After training*

Damian: I made limonade.

Dick, reaching for a glass: Thanks, Dam—

Damian: Not that one. That one is Drake's.

Dick: Oh–

Damian, handing Dick a glass: This one is yours.

Dick: Oh.

Damian:

Dick:

Dick: Did you- Did you put something in Tim's?

Damian:

Dick:... Did you put something in mine?

Damian:

Dick:What did you p–

Damian: Drink it, Grayson. It's good for you.

[definitelysome1]

Tim (with a sigh): it’s my birthday today…

Jason: yeah, I know. I put a gift on your dining table this morning

Tim: ?!??!!??????!?

Jason: why the fuck do you look so confused?

Tim: no one has remembered my birthday since I was seven. I don’t even tell people my birthday anymore because they aren’t going to remember anyway

Jason: ?!!?!???!???

Jason: what the actual fuck

Tim: what?

Jason: not even goldie?? Or cas? Or Steph???

Tim: oh. Well, Dick always gets the date wrong and Steph never asked. I assume it’s because she thinks I don’t want to celebrate because no one ever tries to.

Jason: and Cas?

Tim: I think she knows, but she’s always been away on my birthday

Jason: what about your team? The speedster and the supers? Don’t they remember???

Tim: I’ve never told them

Jason: I-

Jason: did Bruce ever officially adopt you, or are you still emancipated?

Tim: he was going to, but then he disappeared and we never talked about it again, why?

Jason: I’m adopting you and then we’ll celebrate 10 birthdays to make up for the ones you’ve missed.

Tim:???!??!???

[notrobinsomethingworse]

Damian: I quit Robin.

Tim: You can do that???

Jason: First I’m hearing about it.

Dick: Aww Dami what superhero name have you picked now?

Damian: I will become a doctor.

Dick: …

Dick: YOU CAN DO THAT??

Jason: You’ve done it brat. You’ve escaped.

Tim, still muttering: You can quit Robin? How long has it been?

[batcavescolony]

Bruce: *is dead again*

Dick: well this s-

Tim: *carrying a go bag* I can't believe this! I'm gonna put a tracker on him when I- oh hi Dick.

Dick: ...you don't think he's dead?

Tim: WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME ANYONE DIED! ok Alfred but at this point I think he's using this as a vacation from us but PAST THAT! Who ACTUALLY dies? Superman 'dies' every few years, Bruce keeps 'dying' hell YOU 'die' sometimes. Obviously Jason, Damian, Cas, Steph have all 'died', my friends have'died',BUT THEY COME BACK! everyone. comes. back. I'll be back when I find Bruce for the THIRD TIME! *slams door*

Alfred: *walking into the room* he's not wrong. Tea?

[everwalldigan]

Bruce: who are you? A new crime lord?

Jason: *takes off his helmet*

Bruce: *squints suspiciously* a new crime lord who looks like a grown up version of my dead son?

Jason: *sighs in annoyance and forces a bright smile*

Bruce: JASON THE NEW CRIME LORD???

[bat-stuff]

School counselor: So, tell me about your family.

Damian: I was raised by warrior-monks who spoke only the language of the blade.

[batfamgalore]

*Dick crashes out while on patrol and beats someone within an inch of their life*

Bruce: Dick might be a little bit fragile after last night, so let’s try to be sensitive.

Jason: Oh, believe me- I am going to be nothing but nice to Dick from now on. If he snaps and goes on a rampage, who do you think he’s coming for first?

Bruce: He’s not going on a rampage.

Tim: I bet he’d let me live. He likes me.

Damian: I’m just gonna say it. I never trusted him.

[theendlessnessofbeingme]

Bruce high on pain meds lying on the couch

Jason: I’m gonna a straight answer here B-man. Who’s your favorite?

Bruce: Stephanie

Jason: What The Fuck?!?!

Dick: Jay he’s high as a fucking kite. Nothing he’s gonna say is gonna make sense.

Jason: Fuck that! I need answers

Jason: Bruce, why is Steph your favorite?

Bruce: Because she didn’t annoy me this week.

Tim: I want to say I’m surprised that he ranks us on who annoys him the least but at this point we all do it

Bruce: Your on the money number 5

Jason: Wait, B when was the last time I was your favorite?

Bruce: Three weeks ago when you didn’t kill anyone for 2 weeks. I was really proud.

Damian: Father who is usually the favorite?

Bruce: Cassandra is usually at the top and then Duke and Barbara are below her.

Jason: Who’s the least likely to be at the top?

Bruce: Tim.

Tim: What?!? Why?!??

Bruce: If you would stop with the constant conspiracy theories and caffeine addiction I wouldn’t have to be worried and less annoyed.

[alittlerightalittlewrong]

[ahfrickenfrick]

vicki vale: and what do you have to say about the rumors that Bruce Wayne and Batman are the same person?

12 year old, newly appointed robin, jason todd: ??? that would be really weird cause i’ve literally seen them kiss before??

bruce: *in the Wayne tower, popping up from his paperwork* …something just happened…

[abcdfghjklmpqrobin]

The way Damian would definitely talk about his pets as if they were humans and confuse the hell out of everybody.

Damian: Father, I won't attend dinner today. I promised Lucy I would make more time for her, so we'll be spending the evening together.

Bruce, confused: Lucy? I thought you were dating that Nika girl.

Damian, now confused as well: Flatline? I am dating her. Why?

Bruce, slowly going from confused to disapproving: Damian, I try not to meddle in your personal relationships, but you can't be asking other people out if you're already–

Tim: Oh my god, Bruce. He's means Lucy the monkey.

Bruce:

Tim:

Damian:

Damian: She's a macaque.

*After patrol*

Damian: I'll be leaving. I need to pick up the cake for Jerry's birthday party. Nightwing, you promised Jerry you'd come. I don't want you to hurt his feelings so you better–

Nightwing: Yeah, yeah. I know, I'll be there

Damian: *nods and leaves*

Red Hood:

Nightwing:

Red Hood: Is he talking about the–

Nightwing: The turkey. Yes. He's talking about the turkey.