#rush e 3
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oh ok Rush E 3 sure that's a thing that's happening now
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i really really really really really missed drawing them omg
#my art#fallout new vegas#fallout#fnv#benny gecko#sadie/benny#benny x courier#courier six#courier 6#sadie knox#im working on a shitton of clothing refs n outfit designs for Sadie and it's taking f o r e v e r#but im glad im taking my time -- adhd usually means i rush art bcz im excited to see it done and im trying not to do that anymore shdhd#i posted the 3 sets that are done so far on sadie's TH profile btw !! 2 more sets to go#holding off on posting here until all of them are done (this ��fake rule” i made up is keeping me motivated to get them done LAUGHS)#but anyway have this extremely quick doodle of these con-artists that r in love (for better or for wose)
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Pain reminds us that we are alive or something I guess
#kell maresh#or more like Kay I guess in this one#adsom#the fragile threads of power#tftop spoilers#his whole magic and pain ordeal is driving me nuts someone get a cure for this boy's problem I can't watch him suffer anymore#<- my personal thoughts but also said by Lila at some point probably#I am only halfway through tftop btw so if they do find a solution for it please don't tell me fhskdgkshd#a darker shade of magic#shades of magic#v e schwab#art#shrews art#rkgk#I really rushed this one but I'm still happy with it so that's a win I guess <3#on an unrelated note how are you guys?#I wanna draw Tes next
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❝ . . . Until he burp-asks her out. Or gives her a gift, which will be a frog. ❞
: ̗̀❥ KENLOS in S03E04: BIG TIME DOUBLE DATE
+ bonus lil gif bc it's too cute to not include ʕ ꈍᴥꈍʔ~ 💚💙

#n e way here's an actual proper post to make up for my prev goof;;; WHERE MY GIGACHAD BASED KENLOS TRUTHERS THOUGH HANDS UP!!! *crickets*#i honestly meant to post this last valentines but. i Forgor? oops#btw the first og tag (from 2022/2023?) for this post is so stupid and has me cackling to the highway even if no one's gonna get it but here#HAPI BALENTAYNS DEY MGA WALANG JOWA BWAHAAHAHDDHS 👋(ಠಿヮಠ)🫰#yes ik this was largely a jarlos ep but kenlos is super adorable and looks positively kissable in the first scenes so. hehee :'>#istfg i have so many random kenlos gifs clogging up my drafts for the sake of my own personal braimnrot. i love them bc no one else will ok#their lil touches...they way they cosy up to each other instinctively...ken looking so offended for los.....what is it about tenderness#I HAD TO ADD THAT BONUS GIF EVEN IF I KINDA POSTED IT B4 I STILL CRI SEVERELY AT LOS' GENTLEST CHEST TAP AS KENDALL GAZES AT HIM FONDLY 🥹#(ft. james' cropped shoulder hghgh i love u pretty bb i'll do a redemption for u some other time </3)#6th gif pov: the Boyfriends are synchronised judging ur entire life choices but ✨s o m f t l y✨#james meanwhile just had. the blankest look on his face. no brain cells rattling around that conker just dessicated hairgel and vibes 💅#btw the dude in the blue shirt sunglasses and backpack must've passed behind them like 5 times during this whole scene lol budget who#btr#big time rush#kendall knight#carlos garcia#kenlos#gifs#gifset#edit#mine#tvedit#btredit#rusher#stop it forever#kendall schmidt#big time eps#s03e04: big time double date#good luck loverboy#crazy to be using my kenlos tag again ahhhhh
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EMU NATION WINS ONCE AGAIN!!!!! 🗣
#emu colorfes after 3 and a half years.. i can finally krill myself#i rushed to make this the second a high quality pic was available#it didnt come out the way i was hoping but w/e i still love her and im still gonna put her in yalls faces 🫡#emu otori#otori emu#emu ootori#ootori emu#project sekai#wonderlands x showtime#wxs#wondasho#prsk#pjsk#emu project sekai#emu pjsk#proseka#project sekai colorful stage#colorful stage#my edit#black edit#emu tag
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY HOWARD PAUL DONALD born 28th April 1968
#howard donald#take that#mine#nbsd: gif#no I didn't rush this and use clips I already had downloaded why do you ask#n e way <3 happy birthday dougie#I have complex feelings about u but I still like u enough
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Sheldon’s Gear Ability Shuffle be like:
“Oh, your weapon kit has beacon or sprinkler? Let’s give you SUB POWER UP for your main and sub abilities :D”
“You play as a frontline slayer? You’re now a backline support!”
“Never played with a charger? NOW YOU WILL AND WITH SUPER JUMP”
“You’ve been given an ink-hungry weapon? Too bad, all SUPER JUMP”
#bugchitters#splatoon#splatoon 3#splat3#Sheldon when I find you Sheldon#some of these matchups are straight up unfair#I would also like to apologize to the backlines I’ve harassed using the custom jr#being rushed by a splattershot when i was given custom e liter scope was horrifying#it doesn’t help that i don’t know how to play using a charger
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worst freelancer alive still manages to meet quota
#guess who just finished helping their friend get to 999 :]#rn im only at 730 but honestly? I'm in no rush to get to max on this stage#it's so much fun <3#splatoon#splatoon 3#salmon run#he's done so imma be all on me lonesome for the final stretch#gonna try to do the rest later w/e I wake up later so wish me luck l
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Coming Home
Derek's latest vacation lands him in a position of life or death, in which life seemed ever-escaping. After returning home and recovering, the true weight of his ordeal lands not on him, but on his family.
Authors note: I finally get to include a smidgen of OC into this blog !! Rejoice!! But I also want to elaborate a little bit on Derek's homelife and living situation. Specifically, his siblings, which, technically also count as OC-territory? I don't know. Felt important enough to mention.
Things/Red flags to look out for: Attempted/Implied rape/sexual assault, violence and gore, bodily fluids, vague implied possession.
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The first day is young. There is no more commotion, no more scrambling of feet or heaving of lungs. It seems everyone who has a purpose out here is either hiding from it, or searching for it. Or, in this case, has found and been found by it.
A canteen slams against the sand, the sound of howling laughter following. "Enjoy that one! Gonna need all the nutrients you can get!" Derek zipped himself up, taking one more look at his choice of livestock. A shorter man on the skinnier side- but like, not in the attractive way, in the 'I eat one meal a day and it's a microwavable TV dinner' kind of way. Dark hair, dark eyes, and a weak, pathetic hanging jaw, tongue hung to display his work. The sacrificial lamb, that of which has a name- Bree's eyes found the canteen, resisting the urge to dive for it right now, not wanting to humiliate himself any more than he has already.
His hair was gripped, two almost playful, rough slaps being delivered to his cheek. "Let's see who finds you next." He was then tossed to the coarse ground, left a whiny, breathy mess as Derek hopped on his quad and left the scene. The Frenchman watched as his shape got smaller and smaller, until he finally felt safe enough to move.
Bree lifted his aching body, clothes wetly latching to his skin as the suns rays persisted. His eyes aimed down, looking at the sand directly below him- red and moist, accumulated from the fluids coming from his mouth. His spit. His blood.
And something more.
His stomach began to boil. Becoming dizzy, Bree whimpered and doubled over, retching loudly before a painful shoot released from his stomach and throat, joining the mess already on the ground. God-!! Even the smallest movement of his tongue felt like hell! He felt his eyes swell with tears- No. Do not cry, not now. His attention instead turned to his reward, oh how generous. Giving a small stumble and bend, instant relief filled his core. Oh, it's so cold.. He placed the canteen to the back of his neck, flinching beneath the feeling. He heard somewhere this can cool you down due to the area of circulation. Whether or not it's working, his brain certainly thought it was.
Not that he plans to share. The others in this landscape have made it abundantly clear it's 'me or you.' All that old bastard had to do was keep his mouth shut and Bree wouldn't have been hurt that way. He earned this. Not wanting to stick around for long, he began to move, eventually coming across a large hill to sit atop while enjoying something as simple as water. The sun may have beamed, but the desire to stay away from people outmatched the need to find some shade. Upon opening the bottle, he was.. Incredibly suspicious. Hell no it's not that easy, right? Not from... Scorpion?
..He smelled the water. Nothing. He poured a bit into his palm, examining the color. Seems normal. He brought his hand to his mouth, licking the moistu-
"AAAGH-!!" He jumped back, kicking his feet while slapping a hand over his mouth. How could he forget so soon?! Ice cold water, directly onto his open wound! "I'm such a fucking idiot!!" He shouted messily as blood pooled around his bottom teeth, trying not to use his tongue. Then, he flinched, looking around to make sure he didn't attract any unnecessary attention. Luckily, silence. ...Bree collected himself, eyes finding the cantee- "Shit!!" In his earlier scramble, it had.. Tipped. No, not all of it was gone, but a significant amount of water had been wasted.
It was so gutting. It wasn't just water to him, wasn't just some bottle. It was his sacrifice. His prize for dehumanizing himself at the snap of a finger because he was scared. His canteen now sits at about half full, and honestly?
He's pissed off about it.
Just the kick he needed while he was down. Just the final pluck on his heart-strings provided to make this whole thing feel helpless. Bree wants to go home. Before his cat was left waiting at the door for him. Before his job called over and over and over again. Before his comfort and virginity were threatened.
He wants to go home.
He wants to go home.
......
...The third day is young. There is no more commotion, no more scrambling of feet or heaving of lungs, for most have already gone out. No one has caught sight of the cavedwellers for quite some time, as Bree, with his trusty sacrificial blade, had made quick work of them. It was on reaction, an unintentional incident! He's not a murderer! He just didn't want to see whatever happen to that boy happen! ...Killing Dragon was.. It.. It was self-defense, it was..
And now, Bree wanders. Shoulders heavy, feet weak, skin burnt, mind gone. He lazily shuffles through the sand, letting his jaw and eyelids hang halfway while desperately clinging to his canteen, long-since-emptied. He's not sure why he kept it for so long. Some kind of trophy, perhaps. He wandered, and wandered, and wandered, anything but staying in the same place for too long. He didn't even know where he was going. In fact..
..He didn't even know.. Where he was.
Bree turned around, seeing exactly what he saw before he turned. This repeated, beginning to spin, expecting any direction would be different at.. Some point. His ears had a very faint and quiet ring in them as this just kept going. Round and round, nothing new, all surroundings looking the same. Round and round, round and round, round and round, round and round, round.. Round. Round.
He's throwing up. By now, the wound upon his tongue was a distant memory. It's either not hurting anymore, or he's forgotten that it does. There was nothing left in his stomach to release, but his body kept trying anyway. Upon a strong retch, his eyes wettened, the last of his bodies moisture- and for some reason, that just.. Initiated a fit.
Bree is so tired. He's so tired, and burnt, and worn, and his brain is spent, and oh so sick, and he's sick of it. He began to cry. Not just cry, but wail. Like a small child getting lost in a store. His legs gave out, knees becoming sore against the rough sand. He's just so angry! He did everything right! He did all he was supposed to!! He got good grades, he got through college, got a decent paying job, eventually afforded his own house and car and bills, and bills and bills and bills! He missed out on so many opportunities in favor of sticking to his "future plans," just to end up where? Here? In some sick fucks sandbox?
He cried. He cried until his ears began to ring louder. He cried until his body was dry and his face ached. Upon taking in a tight inhale, he came to a terrifying realization-
His ears aren't ringing. That sound is very familiar. A roaring engine.. Wheels on sand..
Someone fucking help him.
Bree tried scrambling to his feet, feeling his exhausted muscles fail him. He got a few inches up before tumbling down, groaning deeply as he pushed his shaky elbows into the ground, listening to hyena-like laughter, and the ceasing of the vehicle.
Derek's shoes met the ground, kicking dirt with his steel toe as he trailed close, playfully spinning his pretty shiny bat. "Look who it is!" Chimed in sport, delivering a hard blow to the Frenchman's head, sending blood to the sand. Now his ears were ringing, a firework of pain spreading through his head like roots. He rolled over onto his back, looking up at both Derek and the sun. Or well, simply seeing them both, but not exactly looking. He's still processing the hit... "You look like shit, ha'gh ha ha! Did anyone else end up messing with you?"
Bree couldn't answer. He held his hands up in defense lazily, fearing the worst. Death is a hopeful wish at this point. He's got nothing left to give. ...Almost nothing.
"Hey, I'm talking to you!" A warning shout, staring icy-blue daggers into the other. Bree tried to move upon spotting the fast motion, going too slow, being too weak, and instead taking the kick to his ribs, releasing a loud cry. "Baby's got healthy lungs, so why don't you talk?"
"Iii-I- I'm- It-"
"Aaahh-ah-ah-ah THINK about what to say before you say it, day-amn!" Using his bat as a cane, he pressed the thick end into the ground before bending his knees apart in a crouch, keeping his hands above on the handle. He observed the other, head to toe. His gaze felt predatory. Bree shudders. "..Naaahh! You're not THAT bad off. C'mon, shake it off, it's no fun when you're just layin' around."
Look, Bree is trying. Now that he's laying down, he feels so rested. Even his adrenaline can not carry him away. "H-How did you even-?.."
"Find you? I mean, I wouldn't have if you weren't throwing a tantrum. So thanks for that. What was that about, anyway? Finally losing it~?" Derek teased his purchase, tilting his head far to the right with a long, light hum. Bree swallowed dryly in apprehension. This apprehension was met as Derek suddenly moved in, bottom lip sliding beneath his upper teeth while parting his knees over the other mans stomach, releasing his bat to find his belt. Bree began to weakly cry out, using whatever strength he had left to push against his attackers stomach- "Trynna cop a feel? HAHA! Don't worry! You'll get more than enough~."
Bree begins to swell with fear and anger. He's right. This jackass is right.. He's not going to save himself if he focuses on Scorpion. He needs to put his focus elsewhere- on himself. The position they're in is tight, but not impossible. He has some wiggle room between the sand and the others pelvis- but not enough.
Bree is a smart man. That is what Derek has forgotten. The blond lifted himself to lower his pants- flinching as Bree took his opportunity. His victim rolled quick onto his stomach, officially unlocking himself from him- now attempting to crawl away, dragging his fingers and elbows through the sharp, oh so sharp sand. "Ah-ah-aaahh~! Fuck do you think YOU'RE goin'?!" Derek cheered, digging his fingernails into the other mans hips, forcibly pulling his boxers down while keeping him still, unintentionally causing so much more pain. Bree squealed in fright and agony before quickly turning around, and..
He's been blinded.
In a single moment, Bree, with a handful of sand, launched it back into Derek's face. Into his nose. His mouth. His eyes. He howled in pain and scoot back, both hands gripping his face as a late defense. Bree scrambled away to make distance, still being unable to lift his weak knees easily. His body shook. His brain stirred. His stomach boiled and eyes ran dry. He watched Scorpion writhe and panic, wiping his eyes clean as he spit and panted the earths natural weapon away. Another opportunity. Bree begins dragging himself close on his knees, removing the bloodied blade he kept hidden in his underwear.
Derek peeked at the other through a squinted eye, not being able to react before the knife was pushed into his abdomen. As the blade tore through his skin, he froze completely, feeling disgust, pressure, and burning pain wash over him entirely. Bree, still weak and sweaty and clinging to the handle, was not yet satisfied. He twisted the weapon before roughly pulling it out, sending Derek backwards as fresh, warm blood coated his hands- becoming disturbed at the results of his attack. Derek's legs awkwardly folded underneath the rest of his body while a near inhuman sound came from his throat. Bree, knowing he has time, attempted to carry himself away- until he paused.
...Why continue to run?
Bree struggled to his feet, an effort that took over two minutes. Within that time, Derek came to his senses. He's still a lot stronger. He's still a lot better. With a hand to his wound and the other picking grains from his face, he roared in exhausted anger, eventually finding the effort to sit up. Clothes sticking to him, headband halfway off, eyes sore and body butchered- none of this, none of this compared to the panic he felt upon seeing Bree, already so far away, trying to lift a leg over his bike seat. "Hhh-!! Hey!! HEY YOU STUPID MOTHERFUCKER!!" Bree glanced over with a strange look of calm and continued his efforts. Derek tried scrambling to his feet- being stopped and brought back to his knees by the shocking pain in his stomach. The quads engine began to rumble. "N-NO!!" He cried out to no answer. Within just a few seconds, Bree gave himself whiplash by launching forward, stopping to giggle to himself. "GET BACK HERE YOU LITTLE SHIT!!"
"You.. You know what?.." Bree chirped, a voice Derek is silently, admittedly soothed by. "I.. I'm bigger than you.." Never mind. The fibbing tease did not come without threat- the bike now shooting forward, full speed. Derek was not fast enough.
The tires met his body within a blink. Dragging him in a brief roll before leaving him in the sand, pooling crimson from his damaged form. There was a crack somewhere. A crack, and a pop, and a scrape. Cheek pressed tightly against the ground, mouth wide open as he breathes in more of this sharp, irritating sand- his eyes watched the vehicle carefully. For a moment, their eyes met from their distance. ..Bree's gaze softened, and he went on his way.
Mercy.
Derek was too mangled to even process the concept of mercy. He laid in the sand, gasping, pulling at parts of his body- too terrified to look. He flung an arm up, a bloodied hand digging into the sand in an attempt to pull himself. He goes nowhere. Panic sets in. Hyperventilation. Forgetting about the humiliation of being beaten and the insecurity of being stolen from, Derek feels all else but panic begin to fade- desperate writhing stiffly for any movement at all.
His teeth grit as the vehicles shape disappears into the distance. He screams out in a shaky, cracked cry, sounding like a distressed wild animal, fingers dragging across the sand in search of something. Anything. A sensation besides heat, and pain, and wet. There is nothing to feel.
Derek's thoughts lulled him into a much needed blank, barren state. What will become of his family after this? Matthew will ultimately become heir, and while that fucking sucks, can he handle it? Will he be able to carry the weight, the title of eldest Goffard kin? What of his even younger brothers and sisters? Who will guide them through? Will his father finally appreciate him for what he was? Is it Derek's passing that will finally unlock the affection that old brute refuses to give? Where will he end up after this? Is Hell really that bad? Is this really it? Alone, mangled, and discarded?
He spent the next few hours hopelessly tossing and turning in damp, clumpy, dark sand. Dragging his own corpse was nothing short of torturous. He didn't get far, but he didn't stay still, keeping him attached to the idea of survival despite the chances. A few times, in his desperate battle to keep awake, he could have sworn he spotted some kind of.. Will-o-the-wisp. Sweet, sick nothings whispered to him- though he could not understand.
He reached for it and collapsed in the sand, losing himself to the blood loss and exhaust.
......
...There is no third night. Blue eyes meet the world in a white, cool room, with buzzing lights and multiple sources of beeping from a distance. A large portion of his body is kept tightly by bandaging and metals beneath the skin, held lock and key by healing stitches. Being hugged by gauze and wrapping, he found his form was also encapsuled by multiple gazes as well, though he could hardly process this at all. Derek guided his sleepy eyes around the room, capturing the wonky figures he recognized as his father, and a stranger. An unfamiliar nurse. His heart thumped against his chest- they are not at home.
Derek shifted his weight in bed, letting out a load, pained groan as muscle strains him from somewhere. He's too high on painkillers to tell. A touch to his arm sent uncomfortable blossoms all through his body, glancing over to see his father pressing his index and middle finger on his arm, using only these to lower him back into a rest on the hard mattress. "How many times is this going to happen?" The older man questioned, receiving some long-winded, nervous ramble from the poor soul in the room with them. Derek couldn't process any of it. He felt sick. He began to try and remember anything, really. The desert came to mind. He's pretty sure Jack found him, he can remember his mask. Or was it? What was it?
...Blue eyes meet the world to a canvas of grey, and a bouncy resting place. Derek is in the backseat of a car now. He released a loud grumble and raised a fake feeling arm and hand to hold his forehead, catching the drivers, and his fathers, who sits in the passenger seat, attention. Sharp, icy, dagger-like hues met his tired frame. "There you are!" He started, "What have you done to yourself?! I let you out for one day, and you come back a slab of meat!"
"I'm.. Sick."
"Yes you are! Very! At least you're smart enough to agree on that!" The old man continued to scold. In Derek's intense eyeroll, the noise and the words began to fuse and mix, as if twisting together. Derek's boiling stomach kept him busy, focusing on not losing whatever his lunch may be in the back of this car.
...Blue eyes meet the world in a warm toned, comfortable room, with a spinning fan above his bed. He dozed off again... This time, he is at home, safe in his bedroom. The sun is young, and Derek's mind is much more coherent- though the grogginess has not left him. His body hurts. His stomach feels empty and sickly. He feels weak. The humming of the fan and loneliness of the room is enough to cast the spell of sleep on him once again, even if he truly tried to fight it this time.
...A click.
The moon is now beaming against the dark sky. Derek, previously fast asleep, is listening to the chilling sound of his door opening carefully, followed by a creaky floorboard. His brow tilted in frustration, holding in his grumble for the sake of the hunt- catching them in the act. It's not uncommon for his siblings, or servants, to creep into his quarters to see what consumables or valuables he's left laying around. He just.. Can't believe they'd try it while he's down and vulnerable this way. It's disgusting... Especially now that he ponders- how long has he been asleep? How many times has this happened in his rest? With a grit of his teeth, he's decided it wont happen a single time more.
"Nice try, asshole." It came out groggy and lazy, not nearly as cool as he wanted it to sound. All movement ceased as he painfully rolled over to face them, spotting the shape of his youngest brother, standing at only the age of 14. Really? Him? He's a bit gutted. "I moved my stash like, last month."
The room was silent with pride as Derek, metaphorically, pat his own back. Caught him. His smirk hidden by the rooms darkness was interrupted, however, as something.. Unexpected happened.
A sniffle.
Derek groaned, beginning to push against the bed to sit up. It was a struggle, but one given time by his company. Squinting through the shadows, he could see the light through the window brush against his brothers cheek- reflecting off the wetness of his face. Pride and offense turned to quiet worry. "...It's not a big deal, okay? Everyone tries it."
"A-Ah-" The child, Val, short for Valentine, tried to speak, disregarding the others attempt at comfort. His hands pulled and picked nervously at his shirt, and his eyes were anywhere but on Derek. "I-I know we fight a lot," A sharp, loud, shaking inhale. "but I don't wan-nt you to die-" Both sleeves are brought up to wipe at his face, a hushed cry being uncontrollable.
Derek watched in utter emotional distress. What a sad little guy. He ran a hand through his hair and grumbled uncomfortably, trying to collect the right words- but first, one thing must be handled. "Hey." For once, softness. "Hey, hey, c'mon.. Don't do that. You know how dad feels about that." He reached a hand out, tugging at the others sleeve, making him remove his arms from his tearing eyes. The poor thing was in shambles.
His brother continued to sniff in. Just when they thought he was okay, his throat began to whistle once more, rocking himself from his toes to his heels while trying to cease his crying. Derek gave him time. "I tried not to but-" A wet cough. "-I couldn't hold it."
"Just try not to again, alright?" He speaks from experience. Men don't cry. Things go wrong if they do. Derek puffed a long-breath out of his teeth, rolling his eyes before patting his bed- an invitation his sibling very quickly took. He scooted himself up, pulling his knees to his chest to bury his face into. Derek delivered a few weak pats to his back. "Look.. Were you that freaked out?"
"Yeah-!" Their gazes suddenly met. "They ha-ad wires everywhere, and everyone was loud, and they wou-ouldn't let us take you home-" More and more waterworks. The pats on the boys back had eventually turned to firm rubbing- affection he leaned into.
"Hey, come on, dude. Do you really think I would die out there? Me?" He offered a shit-eating-grin, one filled with false confidence. "Had a bad run. Win some, lose some, but c'mon.. I'm not gonna die. Too good for that.." Despite his snicker, he could tell he was unconvincing. With an anxious, shaky breath inward, Derek decided to drop the act. Can't cool-guy you're way through every situation. He let out an annoyed sigh and quickly traced his tongue along his lips, leaning back with a flinch before repositioning his seating- getting comfortable. "Look... It was a close call. I know. But I wouldn't let myself go knowing you're not ready for that, okay? Okay?"
That was a little more convincing. Val began to nod slowly, sniffing and shuddering in his seat. They're not the most affectionate family, but this really reminded him how much he wants to be. The boy carefully scooted and leaned over, taking his eldest brother in for a hug- something uncommon in this household. He was unaware of how much agony Derek was in because of this, and the man never intended to make it known. He likes hugs, too. "Okay.."
Almost a full minute had gone by before they moved away. Val's hair was ruffled in a slap-like motion. "There we go! Have a lil' faith in me, yeah? I wouldn't do that to you guys." Small chuckles now hogged the air. Now.. He really shouldn't. But the kid's upset. "..'Ey, you want a brownie?"
"What?"
"You want a brownie? Can only have one, but I'm feeling generous tonight. Not sure why." Snickers and giggles from both followed. Val shyly nodded, keeping his head down, as if they could get in trouble any moment. "Sweet. Closet, bottom left corner, gotta move my shit."
Val went seeking. Upon finding the discreet brownie-box, he trailed back to his older sibling with a gasp. "You actually have these? Dad lets you keep food in your room?"
Laughter was quick to strike, something Derek immediately regretted, pressing a hand firm into his side. Still such an innocent little thing.. "No.. That's why you can't tell, 'kay?"
"Okay..." He retook his seat before opening the box. They smelled different, but were presented beautifully. "..Only one?"
"Only one."
"Why?"
"You'll start seein' shit if you have any more."
"Oh.. Why?"
"God damn dude! Just eat the brownie!"
In goes the brownie. The two share their incredibly rare, special moment before Derek forces himself out of bed, using slow and careful steps to walk Val back to his own room in their large estate. He doesn't trust the staff. The boy couldn't help but to reach for his hand- not that he succeeded in full. Instead, Val grabbed onto Derek's index and middle finger, something that came as a surprise, but not a bother. Entering his siblings rooms is always a treat- rooms he never occupies. He gets to see what kind of people they are when inside, and this room screams youth and innocence. It was fun! Toys left out, walls decorated with video game memorabilia, drawings taped to the wall, dirty clothes pile in the corner- a true kids room. It was nice to see Val is still allowed to enjoy it.
He stayed in that room. He stayed until he was sure the little guy was back in bed and sleeping. It's the first time Val was able to fall asleep under a protective guardians supervision- something he needed. Derek soon moves on, making sure to shut the door with a hushed click before limping himself to the patio. He's been inside for.. However long. He's been trapped in sleep for days, possibly even longer- some fresh air would be nice... His body feels stiff and sore, and each step carries weight and ache, but the moon and stars and wind will be so worth it. This is something he never thought to appreciate before. Something so simple like air.
Derek leaned his hands against a chair and let his shoulders ease, exhaling slowly and deeply. His eyes scanned the distance. The moving vehicles, the busy town, the lights still blooming in every business- a strange green flickering from a pin-prick sized window sending chills across his skin. He took his sweet time to himself. Just... Thinking.
...Whatever happened to Bree, anyway?
Whatever happened to his quad?
#//i feel like i rushed this rly bad at the end but#//OH WELL.#//BEEN PICKING AT THIS FOR SOME TIME. JUST WANTED IT DONE FDNJFGIGFD#Big Fic Energy#//new fic tag please enjoy it#Muse:#D E R E K#//THX TO MY FRIEND FOR HELPING NAME THE SIB <3
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ok. i guess
#i'm willing to forgive the acting lmao i'm biased & i've grown attached to these characters anyway#& i love that they gave these actors the exposure so. honestly idc. even if this seems rushed#yea they could've cleaned the script but. the substance. the depth they're giving the backstory...ok. go off. scream that shit#i mean ya the class inequality had been set in the beginning & in fairness is a theme they didn't forget no matter how tiring the plot had-#gotten#[i think it's a shame how the extension rlly brought down the quality. these past few months had been honestly unbearable & tiring so i-#understand the frustration & disappointment from the others & i can't blame them for setting their expectations high.#me tho. marupok. <3 willing to settle for less. <3 jk]#& i know it's predictable from inigo & juliet. but i was thinking they might go the unpredictable route & introduce the other k1ller/s-#as someone rich & powerful & was just petty enough to fuck over their lives. for vengeance yes but not rooted in injustice but just dirty-#politics#like the Barbara route#but. this is good at least#i wish they didn't give away much on those previews tbh the surprise is ruined :/#but whatever we're here now. *sigh* 2 days left......what else do u have in store another wasted-potential-show :')#widows' war#now i'm wondering like. did the writers & production team got fucked over bc i really refuse to believe this is what they would settle for-#if this show was managed correctly#like who decided for the extension exactly. was it offered & they accepted or were they pressured to agree & extend idk how gma is so awful#@ handling this shit bc it happens to a looot of their shows.#stop wasting. literally everything. to ur scummy corporate business-oriented operation fkn. whatever stop whatever u're doing right now#sooo tacky. omg#s-z-t-e d0c i understand she's. in a league of her own. (a shitty one). but i refuse to believe the other writers r this incompetent...#can we re-do the show :( ye all of it :( & just follow what the writers & production team wanted for it originally :( that'd be great ty#edit: episode 143 finally utilizing their flashbacks correctly everyone clap & scream /j#edit: jericho...idk. idk about this one.#like it makes sense. he's a palacios. he's embittered by what happened to him & his mother. but to reveal it this way....idk. off.
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Writer's block is legitimately killing me so I'm doing a whole mini character study on the tss characters in my au. Here's Virgil and Remus.
Virgil is the spymaster. Not the guy cloaked in shadows and riches who directs the spies — oh HELL no. He's the tattered servant that none of the rich people think twice about. He's paid very handsomely by the king (Thomas, in this) to listen in on conversations and gossip and report it back to him. Virgil loves his job. Nobody expects him to be the one who has all the secrets and yet he does. He reports them to Thomas and his advisor (Janus, in this case) and then they are the ones who send out the spies and handle their diplomacy based on the new news.
Think meek and shy man in one room absolutely shedding the facade and going back to confident and scathingly judgemental (like Janus stops pretending to be Patton in that one episode). He's obviously still himself but he's got a sensitive job.
Remus is Thomas' son — one of them, at least. He (along with Roman) are princes who are also training to become knights. Or maybe they're knights already. I haven't decided. But he's known for being the scarier of the two and the one you don't mess with. The rumors about him are WILD. He's truly harmless but there are rumors about him threatening someone for simply coughing in the same room... It's a fake rumor, but one nonetheless. He's really just a sort of interesting guy. He likes the macabre. He's also SEVERELY understimulated doing diplomat work so he usually doesn't. He does a lot of strategy in battles and is known to be quite ruthless. Obviously y'know save the innocent but the people coming against his own army? P i s s o f f.
Also they probably work together. Or the stuff Virgil tells Thomas gets told to Remus by Thomas.
Are they gay for each other in this? Haven't decided! Probably. I still need to iron out relationships and stuff. And everyone's jobs. And roles. And quite possibly the plot. Mostly the plot. Entirely the plot.
Help the writers block is so intense. I wanna throw myself against the wall like wet spaghetti. But like have my sillies^ and tell me what you think
— 👑
Holy shit this AU sounds S O fucking cool oml!!! L O V E how nobody expects Vee to have all the secrets manz has a role to play and he's gonna do it right XD Also L O V E Ree being a man of strategy and ruthlessness in combat he's gonna do everything in his power to protect his people but he does what he does regardless of false rumors he's just a soon to be Knight trying to get by <3 (King!Thomas is a very underrated concept and I'm O B S E S S E D thank you)
#the writer's block is so R E A L but be sure not to force yourself to write take your time at your own pace there's no rush <3#sort of ->#dukexiety#remus sanders#virgil sanders#janus sanders#roman sanders#character!thomas#ts remus#ts virgil#ts janus#ts roman#sanders sides#thomas sanders#asks#answers#👑 anon#not a countdown
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#i'm always gonna work at my own pace but i've been sooo slow with writing!!#like the last cmi update's gonna be 2 months old soon lol and i am so excited for cmi11 but oh my gosh it's been so hard bc im like#'is that scene boring? too dramatic?? worth it all??' bc i want this chapter to be p e r f e c t so im worried of not doing it justice and#then my brain goes so blank!!!#worried about*#like the plot has my heart so i wanna do my best!! which is why it still might take a lil bit to finish and drop it#let's see! i don't wanna rush this one.. but i do also feel so badddd :')#i promise im gonna work extra hard on it n when it comes it's gonna be worth it !! or at least i hope so!!#i really hope you guys like it a lot :') don't let it flop LMAO!! 🙈 but fr cmi11 means a lot to me so any interaction is 🥺#the comfort is crazy in this one rlly rlly <33 so pls wait for me <3 sorry again <3 ily and ill do my best <333#fic: colour me in#might delete AHHH LOL
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#LMAO.... i was not meant for this loveydovey shid. i am sooooooo lovesick its not even funny#like can someone save me. its gotten so bad#i talked to my mom about it on n off for like 3 hours NDNDJDJJDJD#im just !!!!!!! ah.... i have to be patient. thats just what i have to be#bc rushing will only make things worse#and i cant be heartbroken during the semester. like thatd suck#but then.. i also dont knownif i wanna be in a relationship during school either???????#like can i handle it or will i go so googoo eyes that i flunk out aJdkdkdkdkdkd#and IN MY LAST TERM?????#like hhhh im so scared i'll never see him again when schools over. which... ok unlikely bc we have the same friends#but even if we DO see each other it wont be as often as now !!!!!#hhhhh i wanna see him everyday 😭😭😭😭😭😭#HHHHHHHHHHHH GOD#feel like im gonna end up confessing to him the last day of school NDJDJJDJDJDJDJDJDJDJDJD#which !!!! again bc we have the same friends....... could be sooo detrimental!!!!!!!!!!!!#but god i cant just be just friends alright. like hhhh !!!!!@@@ i like him so much 😭😭😭😭#his eyes are so kind n like the way he looks at me i just !!!!!!!!!@@@ baboom baboom baBOOM.. !!!! ya know !!!!!!!!@#n e way....... im not seeing him tomorrow (heartbreak hotel) so now i gotta wait A DAY????? incomprehensible#personal
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Do you still like big time rush or has James ruined them for you?
i have absolutely no idea how long ago this was from but like. y'all what even is this offhand ask lmao ( ; ⚆ _ ⚆ )
but alright screw it, just to set the record straight: i loved Big Time Rush lots and lots, that much is obvious. the nick show itself was such an integral part of my childhood, and i absolutely have no regrets about rediscovering the band last 2020 and diving in headfirst right into the deep end *Hot Summer by Heffron Drive starts blasting out* of their music and inevitably joining the fandom. i'm especially forever thankful for all the interesting experiences and fun projects and amazing friends i've made along the way, so i'm sincerely always going to have a certain fondness for BTR in the deepest crevices of my vv heart and soul.....
although yes, certainly *that* whole situation and other such related unfortunate controversies had kinda soured it to the point where i got uncomfortable calling myself a rusher—but that ultimately wasn't what made me fall out, it was just plain 'ol ✨burnout✨ idk keeping up with the fandom just got a little bit too hectic and way too toxic for me, so i moved on to other things better for my peace of mind. anyway, i'm mostly into cool J-pop stuff and ofc my most beloved svensk pojkband FO&O nowadays (also for language-learning purposes hehe :^D) and tbh these have been so incredibly wonderful and healing for me.....but i confess, i still kinda miss BTR and check in on them from time to time. hell, i even have a whooole bunch of chaotic BTR ocs that casually live rent-free in my mind now and forever and i'm constantly tempted to return to this rotting blog just so I can endlessly infodump lore abt them but i'm Annoying™ and who'd want that anyway soooo ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
so yes, i do love Big Time Rush. despite everything, i still like the show and the music, i like all the silly wacky unhinged creations and nostalgic memories i have of it, i like the fandom generally and seeing notifs still pop up on this inactive blog as the ever-faithful rushers continue to thrive and be inspired by the band and its legacy (shoutout to all the new-wave tumblrushers hehe i see u guys much love and hugs and i hope y'all keep up all the fun vibes and creativity here mwah xoxo (*^3^)/~♡), and i really don't wanna allow anything to ruin all those good feelings i got from them, even if that means being critical and letting go of certain aspects. i don't have to love everything about it, really. just enough for me is hopefully enough ❤️🩹
and now, the musical journey continues...?
(p.s. #1: UNRELATED-ISH GIF BUT ALSO I PROMISE THIS GIF IS RELEVANT BC HE'S TECHNICALLY ONE OF MY BTR OCS SO LIKE THAT COUNTS RIGHT??? ( ꈨຶ ˙̫̮ ꈨຶ ))
(p.s. #2: BTR actually dropped by our country in their world tour last October 2024,,, too little, too late :"))) and apparently there was a whole fucking drama that went down abt it too??? anubayan nakakahiya gagi ahshdjsjdk)
#this ask kinda whack but aye at least i can use it to explain my disappearance for the last two years. not that anyone gives a shit but yk#this is a very sparknotes version though like seriously so much shit has went down in my existence istg#including getting hospitalised for a month major surgery and nearly getting nerfed by god but we gotta keep it nice and light here sorry ;×#n e way. i don't have much in the way of new btr stuff apart from my 10-member Heartbreaker Club OC au so prepare to be disappointed#and oh maybe i'll post my old btr drafts bc i have a whole load of those. my blog drafts sit at 2000+ rn so i gotta clear the archive out#there's still lots of gifsets and edits and shizz but unfortunately my fic drafts are trapped in a jank laptop with zero access#i have no idea. literally no one gives a damn allen lmao but i'm just spitballing here. i kinda miss actively being a part of a fandom tbh#so. a quiet blog reboot for now? i kinda wanna keep the FOOO theme bc it's nostalgic to me though.....#if i'm still unwelcome then. i'll go insane alone as always hehehe <3#btr#big time rush#asks#answered#all the windows down#I STILL CAN'T REMEMBER MY TAGS WHY DID PAST ME HAVE TO BE SO CONVOLUTED ABOUT IT THE SMARMY MOTHERYUCKER (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻#hello btw nonexistent audienceee (←peak delusional)
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dandys world fixation be wildin in brain. yknow what that means.
autism divine oc blast
#he is vee's number 1 hater <3333#they're RIVALS!!!!#hess soooooo.....silly#hes an mp3 player <3#he spawned from something my group calls 'the rush e incident'#where we had music playing in vc. and rush e started playing on the newest floor#it was a blackout with flutter. goob. scraps. and astro in it#from the horror that was dying from rush e i had the idea of a character that plays music as a big fuck you to anyone traumatized by that#dandys world#dandy's world oc#infins artt#infins ocs
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it sure has been quite a week
#g o d this week was such a mess™️#i kicked off the week wrong (as always) with ~3h of sleep bc i can never fall asleep on monday nights (sadge)#and ofc i had to do 2 workstations’ worth of work bc lack of manpower lmao#then on tuesday i had yet another family dinner to say goodbye to my bro (lol)#even though he’d already been treated to at least 3 other meals by that point (lmao)#i still think my dinner treat from a few weeks back was the best though~~~~~~ a 4 course sky dining meal def tops any restaurant right~~~~~?#and on suiyoubi (my dudes) we boated him off to military training island for his mandatory enlistment. that sure was. an experience.#i still kinda regret finishing my meal at the military cafeteria place thing though… i was the only one at the table who finished it :(#even my big eater of a bro couldn’t finish his :(#and my mother has been making fun of me for finishing the (allegedly) huge portioned meal ever since :(#she keeps joking about enlisting me bc army food ✨clearly✨ suits my tastes :( truly sadded.#anyways it was back to work on thursday. which sucked. ofc. also bc i’d overslept by half an hour and had to rush. lmao.#anddddd on friday. my boss told me that i’d missed out on submitting one worksheet thing of results#even though i c l e a r l y remember doing the test it was for (and organising all of the worksheet things for the matter)#so my coworker and i just watched her sift through the stack of worksheets… only for her to actually find the ‘missing’ piece of paper#she then said ‘ok found it sorry’ so my coworker and i just went ‘(ʘ‿ʘ) okayyyyyyyyyy’ p. sarcastically and left her office#and ofccccc there was work on saturday too. yay. went to the pkm centre after that thoughhhh#which was fun yes. but. they didn’t have ✨c h a i r d e o x y s✨ on sale :(((((#they stopped selling goomy earrings and that huge plush too :( and the smaller goomy plushies for the matter :((((#i realllyyy should’ve bought the goomy earrings while they were still available… even though they were like 8 bucks per stud#my goomy plushie collection remains unexpanded :( my jigglypuff collection grew by 1 though~~~~#so now i have 3 official jigglies of varying sizes and 1 bootleg jiggly that looks. pretty horrifying in bad lighting actually#p. sadded by how my family calls my taste in pkm boring though… ‘it’s either jigglypuff or that purple thing’ they say… :((((#aaaaaa i wish i could’ve bought that super cute plush of goodra holding a happily smiling goomy i saw on my trip…#it’s too bad that the plushies (there were like 2-3 of them) were locked inside a display cabinet :(((( it was so cuteeeeeeeee#though my fam would’ve made me put it back if i’d even managed to get it out back then lol. ‘that purple thing again?!’ they’d prolly say…#anyways. this sure was a week. im so tired. help#no clue how i should spend the rest of my night tbh… maybe beach sisters time? hmmmmmm. oh wells.#‘dai’ly shitpost of the day
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