#secure relationships

[glowettee]

Hey girl, I'm happy with a man he is legit the loml but I keep having relationship anxiety and self sabtoging I kept fearing he is going to leave me any tips to overcome this it's driving me insane thanks

love isn’t supposed to feel like a test

hi sweetheart, it's mindy. i know what it feels like to overthink love. to go from “this is perfect” to “what if it all disappears?” in a single heartbeat. relationship anxiety makes you feel like you have to earn love over and over again like one wrong move will make it all fall apart. but real love? the kind that’s healthy, safe, and meant for you? it doesn’t ask you to walk on eggshells. it doesn’t test you. it lets you breathe.

so let’s talk about this. how to stop sabotaging something good. how to trust love without feeling like it’s slipping through your fingers. because you deserve a love that feels soft, not like a battle in your mind. - mindy

✧˖° ➼ how to stop self-sabotaging in a healthy relationship

first of all, breathe. you’re not crazy, and you’re not broken for feeling this way. relationship anxiety isn’t about whether your relationship is “good enough” or whether you “love him enough” it’s about your mind struggling to trust stability.

if you’ve been hurt before, if love has felt unsafe, temporary, or uncertain in the past. your brain might be on high alert, waiting for the moment everything falls apart. but here’s the truth:

➼ love isn’t something you have to earn. it’s something you allow yourself to receive. ➼ fear doesn’t protect you from pain. it only steals your ability to enjoy the good moments. ➼ if he’s the loml, treat him like it. don’t let anxiety make you act like he’s your enemy.

✧˖° ➼ step 1: identify your fear loops

(if you can predict your anxiety, you can control it.)

relationship anxiety usually follows patterns. same thoughts, same triggers, same reactions. and if you can spot it before it spirals, you can stop it from controlling you.

✧ what are your intrusive thoughts? “he’s going to leave,” “he secretly hates me,” “i’m not good enough for him.” ✧ what triggers them? does it happen when he takes longer to reply? when you feel extra emotional? ✧ how do you react? do you pull away? over-apologize? test him to “prove” he loves you?

📌 homework: start keeping a relationship anxiety log. whenever you feel yourself spiraling, write down: → what triggered it → what you’re scared of → what actually happened after

this helps your brain realize that most of your fears never actually come true.

✧˖° ➼ step 2: separate anxiety from reality

(feelings aren’t always facts.)

anxiety lies. it makes worst-case scenarios feel like future certainties. so when you start spiraling, try this:

➼ pause. don’t react immediately. give yourself space. ➼ fact-check. what proof do you actually have that he’s leaving? ➼ reframe. instead of “he’s pulling away,” try “he’s probably tired” or “he’s just busy.”

💡 mantra: just because i feel anxious doesn’t mean something is wrong.

✧˖° ➼ step 3: stop testing his love

(love isn’t proven through survival. it’s shown through consistency.)

self-sabotage happens when anxiety tricks you into pushing him away to see if he comes back. things like: ✧ ignoring him to see if he notices ✧ picking fights just to see if he stays ✧ constantly asking if he still loves you

this might feel like “protection,” but it actually creates the instability you fear. instead of making him “prove” his love, try trusting what he’s already shown you.

💬 ask yourself: if i fully believed he loved me, how would i act? → then, act like that version of yourself.

✧˖° ➼ step 4: build emotional safety within yourself

(confidence in love starts with self-trust.)

if you don’t feel safe within yourself, no amount of reassurance from him will ever feel like enough. the goal isn’t to make him “prove” he won’t leave. it’s to make your own security unshakable.

try this: ➼ inner child check-in. if younger you believed love was unstable, remind her: “this is different. we are safe.” ➼ affirmations for security. “i am worthy of love, even when i’m anxious.” “i can trust love without controlling it.” ➼ hold yourself accountable. when you feel yourself spiraling, pause. don’t act on impulse. choose a response that aligns with the calm, secure version of you.

your relationship can’t be healthier than your self-trust. make it strong.

✧˖° ➼ step 5: communicate without fear

instead of bottling up your fears or acting out of anxiety, talk to him. not in a “please fix me” way, but in an “i want to grow with you” way.

how to express anxiety without pushing him away:➼ use “i” statements → instead of “you never text me,” try “i feel anxious when i don’t hear from you.” ➼ own your feelings, but don’t assume his intentions. tell him what you feel, not what he is doing wrong. ➼ ask for support, not solutions. let him know when you need comfort instead of logic.

💡 reminder: someone who loves you won’t get annoyed by your emotions. they’ll want to understand them.

✧˖° ➼ step 6: shift your focus back to you

if your whole emotional world revolves around him, anxiety will always feel like a threat. instead, build a life so full that your happiness isn’t dependent on his every text or action. this is important.

ways to ground yourself in your own life:➼ create rituals that are yours. a morning routine, hobbies, self-care habits that don’t revolve around him. ➼ spend time with other people. make sure your entire social life isn’t just him.➼ set personal goals. give yourself something to focus on outside the relationship.

📌 homework: make a list of 10 things that bring you joy that have nothing to do with him. then, do more of those.

✧˖° ➼ final thoughts:

(you deserve a love that feels like home, not a war zone.)

your anxiety isn’t trying to ruin your relationship. it’s trying to protect you from pain. but love isn’t supposed to be fear management. it’s supposed to be a space where you can feel safe, soft, and loved.

i hope this helped you, i don't usually make posts about relationships, but i'm so happy to start now. if you need any other tips from me please ask me!! <3 i also love researching about this topic <33

xoxo mindy

[gailgoodwinnow]

The Number #1 Way to Improve Your Relationships (and Secure the Improvements)

There is one way to improve your relationships.  I’m not going to promise that it will be easy, or that it will be fast, but the benefits will out weigh the risks. It all starts with me, and not them. I’ve found that if I’m game enough to examine my fears, and dig down far enough to unearth my deepest intentions, and if I can trust myself to learn from these things, then it leads to greater…

[chloesimaginationthings]

Cassie's FNAF birthday wish came true,,

[sk-lumen]

What a healthy, secure relationship looks like

He communicates consistently and clearly. Replies promptly, doesn't leave you on seen, checks up on you throughout the day/week according to his schedule and in agreement with your needs as well.

He pays attention to your needs and desires and quirks, and makes your life better using said details. Ie. buys your favorite kind of flowers, makes your favorite tea in the morning, remembers your food allergies when having dinner dates, etc.

Disagreements may still appear even in health relationships, and it's ok, as communication is essentual for a healthy dynamic. However, his approach to disagreements is a secure one: each will share their perspective, and if feelings were hurt or mistakes were made, he takes accountability for his side, and makes genuine apologies followed by reparations and direct actions (ie. "I'm sorry I did x, I didn't mean to hurt you. I will be/do y in the future", and then does as he promised).

Promises are kept. His actions are in alignment with his words, and he keeps his words. If he says he'll call you after work, he does. If he says he needs to cool off during an argument and will reopen the conversation in 1h, he does indeed return in 1h to continue the topic.

If you're anxious, he will reassure you and work through it. He doesn't run away or avoid the topic (as an avoidantly attached person would).

If you come forward communicating your needs, or sharing complaints or grievances, he will hear you out and actively seek a way to improve things. He won't freak out, or get angry or run away in response to you having needs or communicating your thoughts; these are normal relationship things you're entitled to, and a securely attached man knows this.

A man that is well-rounded, with a secure attachment style, will have a rich life of his own: hobbies, interests, circles of friends, activities, etc. He will enjoy having his independence and space, and will respect your need for your own. He is not co-dependent, nor gets in the way of you having your own life outside of him. He knows having individually rich lives is important for a healthy relationship. To expand on this, he encourages you to enjoy your selfcare time, your girl's night out, or whatever other activities nourish you.

[stump-not-found]

congrats me on writing 70k words

[classycookiexo]

[seiwas]

cw: pro-hero bakugo, reader has boobs, kind of explicit/nsfw? idk i describe boobs, reader is smaller and shorter than bakugo, unedited sawry

bakugo's muscle tee looks as ill-fitting as it'll ever be draped over you.

there are reasons for this, perfectly founded and logical reasons for why that is—the main one being that, it's, well, his; two, maybe even three sizes larger than what it should be to fit you properly.

but, he can't stop staring, and there are reasons for that too—the main one being that, it's his, and yet, the only way he can ever imagine it now is when it's being worn by you.

your hips sway to the song you've been humming for the past five minutes. it's the same one, the chorus on a perpetual loop. he's sure it's the only part you know; you do this often enough that it's the only part he knows now, too.

the hem of his tee hits right at the top of your thighs, concealing just enough to tease, but he’s confident that if you reach up even the slightest bit for the cupboard overhead, there'll be nothing to hide.

he feels a little bit like a creep like this, watching as he stands in the middle of your shared living room, but it's impossible too look away—you've got to be doing this on purpose, right?

heat flares inside of him when you turn your body ever so slightly, the armhole of his muscle tee large enough to give him the clearest view of skin—

he gulps.

it's smooth, sloping just right; the side view of your under boob curves into its perfect shape and he can imagine it, feel—

(is this considered perving if he's been with you for years?)

the pan in front of you sizzles as you plop in god knows what. you pour in something from the side and wait, one hand propped on the hip you pop out. then, you pick up the pan, attempting to flip what's inside (probably a pancake, now that he thinks about it).

it’s hard to focus on what you’re cooking though, especially when all he sees is plump flesh jiggling, bouncing as you further agitate the pan.

he just got the pants of this suit readjusted, and now they're fucking tight.

bakugo normally runs hot; it’s kind of part of his dna. but this warmth is different, flushing him from head to toe. it creeps up the side of his neck, painting the tips of his ears a blooming red.

you turn around then, plopping the pancake on the plate atop the counter behind you.

"oh! you're done," you greet him with a smile. so. fucking. casually.

as if your tits aren't fucking peaking against the gray fabric of his tee.

as if you think he buys the fake innocence poorly concealing that sly, conniving look in your pretty eyes.

as if you aren't standing in front of him in his muscle tee, wearing nothing underneath it like you didn’t do this on purpose. like you don’t know what it fucking does to him.

his eyes squint suspiciously, deep vermillion staring straight into yours.

you tilt your head, the tips of your lashes kissing the top of your cheekbones as you blink. you reach for a bottle of honey.

“everything okay?” you ask, voice syrupy, sickeningly sweet.

your movements play in front of him languidly, the corner of your lips curling up slightly as you smirk. honey catches on your finger as you pop open the bottle cap.

he’s supposed to be out the door in five minutes if he wants to make it in time for a meeting at the agency. technically, he should already be there if he wants to keep up his track record of consistently being fifteen minutes too early.

but you start to approach him, rounding the kitchen island. there’s a narrow space between him and the slab of marble, but you slide into it like it was made for you.

he’s certain it was, from the way the tip of your nose brushes against his as you tiptoe. your tits are right fucking there, brushing against the skintight material of his suit.

there’s too much fucking fabric if you ask him, between cotton and spandex.

your grin widens, and he feels hot, the heat from his cheeks radiating.

then you whisper, still saccharine, “breakfast is ready,” before kissing him on the lips lightly. a short peck, soft in the way that promises more before you slip away, giggling in your retreat.

he huffs, watching you leave. his feet shift as he thinks.

five minutes, huh?

like hell he’s going to eat these damn pancakes for breakfast today.

[thirdwheelravi]

i feel like i've zeroed in on what is so baffling about people being so pressed about buck's feelings being **ignored** or **dismissed** (other than people doing the exact same thing to eddie's feelings) and it's that people are looking at it like this:

buck hears that he doesn't matter to eddie -> buck's feelings are hurt and acts out irrationally in response to this due in large part to his abandonment issues -> therefore the resolution is that eddie needs to reassure buck and tell him he matters to him

when in fact what the show is saying is:

buck hears that he doesn't matter to eddie -> buck's feelings are hurt and he acts out irrationally -> the resolution is that buck is able to get past his abandonment issues and realize he is being irrational on his own because deep down he knows how much he matters to Eddie and furthermore that Eddie (and Chris's) happiness matters MORE to him than his own issues

When have we truly seen him work through his issues like this completely on his own? without maddie or bobby or eddie (or josh?) telling him how he should be feeling and what he should be doing? Like this is the character growth that people keep claiming over and over Buck doesn't get!!! But this is proof that he HAS grown!! Like this is what we've been waiting for when it comes to the Buck cycle of abandonment!!!!!!

When it comes to Eddie, Buck is finally able to see past his own issues COMPLETELY ON HIS OWN and take the steps to resolve the conflict between them before it truly gets out of hand. THAT is what was so great about that final argument scene -- we are finally seeing Buck work through and overcome his abandonment issues without requiring someone to reassure him or tell him how he should be feeling. Because Buck is finally secure enough in a relationship to do that. And of course it's significant that it's EDDIE he's able to do this for 🩷

[femininedating]

POV: You're a wealthy wife

[ckducky]

This one goes out to @a-dauntless-daffodil. They infected me with the hilarious idea that Charlie is jealous of an inanimate object.

[beepborpdoodledorp]

these are their wedding rings because i said so, no i will not be taking criticism

[chandralia]

why the fuck did mha end like that.

[rawrsatthetree]

Tired: Tav that’s good for Astarion cause they play therapist and give him support and space to heal

Wired: Tav that’s good for Astarion cause they’re such a disaster he has to get his shit together cause gods above one of them needs to be a functional adult

[ulteri0rm0tives]

Now.. I'm not doubting Johnny somewhat (?) loved Alt in his own convoluted and severely misguided ways but uh.. to call them soulmates? Did we uh.. did we not play the same game? Watch the same scenes? Because it's crazy y'all r saying that when we literally play as his actual soulmate

[p1ctur3]

@octdl-lee

Random captive TDL au lore dump and some behind the scenes stuff since you asked so nicely :]

Dark in captivity

victim did use dark as a way to train and get the mercs and him used to the box

victim and agent (i would probably explore their dynamic in this au also, mitsi would haunt this narrative because yes)

some behind the scenes things

additional art

[hvackisser]

I'm gonna be SICK!!! I literally can't stop thinking about the way Brad nuzzles Barbara's neck when they see each other on the Vancouver and it made me wanna draw him being bolder with Meena!! 😭😭💖💖 Bold Boimler era (divider by @/enchanthings)

Taglist♡: @me-myself-and-my-fos @flowering-darkness @sunstar-of-the-north @changeling-selfship @cherry-bomb-ships @rosieaurora @tropgothships

@little-miss-selfships @starlos-soulmate @limey-self-inserts @candyheartedchy @space-sweetheart @clancykisser @squips-ship @berryshipbasket

@soulnottainted @saturdaymorningcartoonz @severants @tex-treasures @sparkyscissorhands @iwishihadfangs @fictodreamer @adoredbyalatus @jaspearl