#sidekick app

[ladyaj-13]

Sidekick app - A Comprehensive Review

Or, if you have a question about it that I've missed covering, I honestly don't know how that happened.

-

I've been using the Sidekick app for about eight months now, so I wanted to write a review - all the thoughts that have come to me as I use it (and I probably do use it three weeks out of every four), so you can decide if it'd work for you.

Firstly, I never planned to get a year's subscription. I planned to let my free month trial roll over for a paid second month, but it charged me for a year straight off. So that's point one to be aware of if you do a free trial. More under the cut because this got LENGTHY.

Ethos

The thinking behind the app, I really like. Using ingredients over multiple meals to prevent waste? An obvious move, but not something I'm great at when left to my own devices!

Having said that, sometimes the amount of ingredient used feels unnecessary - you could use less crème fraiche or fewer herbs for the same result, but we'll use it all because then we've used up the pack (even if dinner now looks like the compost heap after my Dad's mowed the back lawn).

I also really like that nutritional information for the meals is available, but has to be turned on. It's not always good to be looking at calorie counts, especially if you're vulnerable to disordered eating, so having that opt-in instead of opt-out is great.

The calorie counts often feel high for what the meal is, though, and a lot of that is probably the amounts of oil and butter used. So if this is a consideration for you, a quick tip - it's unnecessary most of the time. You can probably halve it, or do two thirds, and be fine.

Quantities

Speaking of, I realise the recipes have been developed by the kitchen team, which from what we've seen in the Sorted videos seems to be all male? So maybe that's driving it, but I eat a reasonable amount - I'm definitely not bird-like or have a 'small appetite' - yet I often get three meals out of every cook (I've got it set to two people, as I like leftovers). Sometimes I even get four decent portions!

When you've then got three meals to make, you're generating anything from six up to twelve portions for the week, or drifting into the following week and hoping the ingredients haven't gone off.

This is more cost-effective and lowers the high calorie counts, but means eating a lot of the same thing. (I could eat down my freezer enough to fit things in it again and save them for later, but hey.) It also means there's no real opportunity, for me and how I end up using the app, of a one-off cook (e.g. pancakes on pancake day, or something I'm randomly craving), but am instead very tied to the pack.

Recipe design

The quality of the recipes is key! And I would say it's usually fair to good - most get 3 or 4 stars out of 5 from me.

I've cooked 47 recipes so far, and there have been a couple that were very bland and needed doctoring, and maybe 6 or 7 really delicious ones I want to keep for life. (There's an amazing mushroom gochujang udon dish, a really easy halloumi tray bake, and a lamb and feta orzo (that I twist and add some extra veg to) that's great.)

I live in the UK, so am closely aligned to what the recipe creators will have available. I'd like to see potential substitute info added, though. (For ages my local supermarket didn't stock ciabatta, which is used in loads of their recipes, and I can only imagine this is more of an issue for those living elsewhere.) The app allows users to post 'twists', so that can be helpful where other people have faced the same issue, but this feels like a relatively easy addition that would be valuable for everyone, but especially those with allergies or more restricted access to global foods. It would also be helpful for vegetarians - if a chicken recipe would work equally well with tofu, you've widened your veggie (or even vegan) recipe offering.

I also find that pack sizes listed don't always match those in the supermarket, but working across multiple stores and serving sizes must be a nightmare (and that's before you consider multiple countries!), so I'll let them off that one 😉

Their shopping list function (which tells you exactly what you need for the week's recipes, and you can check off as you go along) is really clear and easy - it's such a valuable function. Having an extra step of possible substitutes that you could feed through to it would just be the icing on top.

I'm an omnivore, but I'd also like more variety in the make-up of the packs. If you get a "meat" pack you're likely eating meat every day (and the amount of meat per person is normally too high for me - I'll often halve it and sub in some veg, as in the meat meals the veg content can be pretty low). They also often do themed packs - a pasta pack or a Mexican pack - and as someone using this pack for the week, I'd prefer the variety of more packs where you get one Mexican dish, one pasta dish, and one other dish all in the same pack, rather than eating pasta for every meal. (I realise it's designed to be three meals out of a week, but even so, that's a fair amount of pasta, and I love pasta.) More recently released packs do seem to address this a bit more, so maybe it's feedback they've already received.

It might be worth knowing there are currently 110 recipes tagged vegan and 433 tagged vegetarian - so a pretty decent range!

Recipe steps are listed in order, obviously. But these don't always seem the most sensible order - e.g., you boil a kettle right at the beginning, but by the time you get to needing hot water thirty minutes later, you kind of need to re-boil it. Putting that step later on would be more logical. Sometimes things overcook because there wasn't enough time to fit in all the later steps and have things be ready at the same time. You can get around this to an extent by reading through the recipe first and applying common sense/your own cooking expertise, but the app seems designed to do this sort of thing for you and be a real 'beginners and up' tool - it just doesn't quite work in all instances.

Recipes highlight what equipment you need, which is so helpful! A word of advice, though, that their 'medium frying pan' is my largest frying pan. 'Small' is not one of those single-egg frying pans - I don't think they acknowledge the existence of those🤣 Whenever it says a large frying pan, I use a casserole dish, or it WILL end up all over my hob.

Also ensure you have pans that can go from hob to grill/oven, and a mini chopper. They seem able to blend things with a hand blender that I will never manage, but the mini chopper saves me. And you will need it, as a number of the packs include at least one sauce or soup or pesto, so it would take some dodging to only do recipes that don't need pureeing in some fashion. Honestly though - what witchcraft powers their stick blender?

Final thought on recipes - wouldn't it be cool if they include an option to add dessert?

'Benefits'?

The advertising of the app - when they talk about it in their videos - often emphasises there are no "use up" meals. I would disagree with that; in some packs there's a clear shoehorned third to get through the odds and ends! Which is fine, that's how it works sometimes, but own it 😀

Another selling point they promote is that using the app will save you money - this is, of course, all relative. Using a wider variety of ingredients (some of them more specialist) is likely to increase your shop cost, especially in the short term. Similarly, personally the app has encouraged me to eat more meat than I might otherwise just because of what looked good, but that is more expensive. So take that selling point with a pinch of salt, depending on your current eating habits and recipe choices!

The app is great at getting you to try ingredients and recipes you might not have gone to before, though, so for getting out of a cooking rut (which I was in!), it's fantastic. Sometimes this is forced - you get that third recipe you're not sure about (hello corn and kimchi lasagne) along with the two that look really good! - but also just knowing that you'll be told exactly what you need to do makes it easier to take that risk and try new things. (And that lasagne was actually pretty decent, for sounding so weird.)

Timings

In terms of skill level, I would say I'm a middling cook - I'm not a beginner, but also no chef. I can and will go off piste and create decent things from scratch. I've been cooking for myself for over a decade. I'll host friends for dinner and not panic about it. But - and I touched on this earlier with prep taking longer - I can't cook Sidekick recipes in the time allotted!

Are these timings based on the Sorted food team? Their knife skills are going to be better than mine. So are the normals', as after however many years with chef-directed instruction, they're not actually normal any more. I'd appreciate more realistic timings, accounting for the fact that most people will have to get the ingredient out of their cupboard, and weigh it out, and maybe remove the cat from the countertop. Even aside from this kind of time slip, their estimates for how long X takes to brown, or Y takes to boil, always seem too low. If they say Z is cooked now, it probably needs a few more minutes.

I don't know, I'd just prefer a recipe say it takes 40 minutes and it takes 30, than it take an hour, and it's always the latter for me. Probably that's personal preference and other people would find the opposite more annoying. But Sidekick timings given seem to be the absolute quickest possible time, and who is a) able or b) wants to cook at superspeed after a long day?

The app itself

It's really nicely designed and inviting to use, and has several useful features such as being able to guide it's recommendations via marking favourite cuisines, diet types of vegetarian/vegan/pescatarian only, and adding your allergies, dislikes and intolerances. You can also search by ingredient or by cooking time, and packs are coloured according to diet type, so it's really easy to spot veggie or meat or fish packs.

Using it to cook along - the app automatically keeps your phone screen active, which is good. It also includes timers you can set for each stage, really handy, although a niggle I've noticed is that you can't see multiple timers at once without clicking out of the main recipe, and sometimes you will have mutliple going (or one finished, but they don't automatically disappear).

I don't use the voiceover option, but I can see the value in it and having different ways to follow a recipe is cool.

Also great - new recipes are released weekly, so there's always something new!

However, the app is glitchy. Several times it's crashed while rating a recipe, which sometimes pops up a while after you cooked it, as you're trying to cook the next one. It's never yet prevented me from being able to cook (or shop), but it's been close a few times and would be pretty disastrous if you're standing in your kitchen trying to get dinner on the table!

Final thoughts

So. Will I renew my subscription for another year? At this point, I'm not sure. The app makes it easy to eat more variety, easy to choose a week's menu 'in one', easy to shop using the auto-generated shopping list. But I sometimes feel tied in by it, and I'd like a higher hit rate of 'this is delicious' recipes to justify the cost. At the moment I'm leaning towards cancel... we'll see if that changes by April.

If you got to the end of this actual essay (I didn't realise I had SO much to say), congratulations on your staying power! I'm very fond of the Sorted crew since I discovered their YouTube channel about a year ago, and I hope you've found this fair, balanced, and helpful.

Do you subscribe to Sidekick? Or do you want to try it out? 💖

[ailelie]

10 Reasons I love the Sorted Food app

You pick a group of 3 recipes at once and use all perishable ingredients across those recipes so you don't end up with a bunch of stuff going bad in your fridge because you've no clue what to do with it.

They have a wide variety of vegetarian recipes and multiple types of cuisine.

The app reads each step out loud. This makes it rather harder to get distracted mid-step or miss a step, etc. You do a step, click done, and then it reads the next step aloud.

Timers are embedded in the recipe, appearing when you need them.

When a timer goes off, instead of just being a noise, it tells you exactly what it is for and what you should be looking for in the dish (e.g., "That's the timer for your spaghetti. They should be soft with a slight bite").

Every recipe includes veg (maybe 1 doesn't that I've made? A cheesy thing. But even then, I think I blended in cauliflower...). When I'm just throwing stuff together in my kitchen, I usually struggle to include vegetables. Sorted recipes always have something vegetal in them (plus they've given me ideas for how to include veg for quick cooking too).

None of the steps are super hard, and the recipes always taste good (with one notable exception; there is a tray bake that has been an utter failure every time I've tried it).

Instead of having to make a big decision about food when it is time to cook, you just have to look at your chosen pack for the week and decide which of the three options you're going to make that night. This makes cooking rather less stressful.

If you need to eat cheaply for a week or two, they have multiple recipe packs (3 recipes, at least 2 servings each) that use only 5 or 7 ingredients per recipe. These can be super cost-effective.

Every step includes a photo that usually relates to the step (there have been a few places where they don't; maybe those were older recipes and they're making do, I don't know).

[shortnotsweet]

APPLES IN THE SKY (excerpt from THE THRILLING AND NOT AT ALL REPETITIVE ADVENTURES OF CAPTAIN MAN AND KID DANGER: “A CHRONOLOGY OF ENTIRELY TRUE AND HEROIC EVENTS COINCIDING WITH THE END OF HISTORY”) [1] [2] [3] [4]

[ Henry’s face is unreadable. In the background, desert mountains and vegetation rush past. Smoke rises in the distance, backlighting ambiguous red shapes that could be plant life, flaming crosses, or even ominous figures. The camera cuts to the back of the car with the invalid license plate reading “HERO”, speeding towards a red horizon. Ray twists back in his seat with a smile, reflected in the lens of Henry’s sunglasses. In the review mirror, Henry’s expression is contemplative. The shot pans to a bird’s eye view of the car eating up highway miles. ]

Charli XCX’s “Apple” from BRAT (2024): “I guess the apple could turn yellow or green. I know there's lots of different nuances to you and to me—I wanna grow the apple, keep all the seeds, but I can't help but get so angry you don't listen to me. To the airport—the airport.”

PANEL NOTES:

The smoke is an implication of wildfires in the surrounding area, which Henry and Ray simply drive past because there’s nothing else to do. Maybe those days are behind them. Maybe they’re just not adept in the art of firefighting, and the bigness of a wildfire is too rural or too raw for them to even adress. I think there’s a sort of irony to it, and it’s either heroes ignoring a disaster past their prime or simple not caring; they’re speeding off into an undefined future and therefore no longer grappling with apathy, but sliding into it. Thus, the road is interpreted as a junction between natural conflict running its course and urban obligation.

This was vaguely inspired, albeit not lifted directly, from my millionth or so reread of “Cuticle Tear” by atbash on AO3. Granted, it takes place in a broken-down truck and is not needlessly melodramatic, but AO3 user atbash does more with obligatory dialogue and omitted assumptions than I could do in 20 panels or so.

Specifically, the lyric “‘cause I’ve been looking at you so long now I only see me. I wanna throw the apple into the sky, feels like you never understand me, so I just wanna drive…” struck me as somewhat in line with the feeling—and example—I got from the fic.

Of course, neither yellow or green are used in the actual color palette, but the song carries themes of intertwined identity and generational effects passed down. I think Ray has imparted a lot of the best and worst things about himself to Henry, through the means of their friendship, professional, and mentor relationship. He’s not his dad. It’s worse, almost, that he’s not, because then it would at least be hereditary.

“Apple” is my favorite BRAT (2024) song right now, so of course it’s stuck in my head; I think there’s a flippant, escapist quality to it and can imagine two friends listening to it on the highway, checking out, but also—there’s not quite a realization, more like an unspoken feeling that what you are is a product. And it’s someone else’s fault. And when you look at each other, you’re seeing something else, or maybe you’re trying to. There’s something distantly escapist and obviously upbeat about the song, but there’s a disdain there, too.

It’s hardly visible, but the license plate on the car reads “HERO” singular, which is invalid but implies they have either a fake plate or Swellview is just so strange that their town itself has exceptions as to how they’re issued, again violating the laws and conventional physics of surrounding territory. They’re a weird exception, as always, and they’re getting away with it.

Their identities are so intertwined at this point that theyre conflated, so there’s an obligatory ego flattening going on as well as an erasure of both or one of them—most likely Henry’s—to accommodate. You might call it being a teammate, although how Henry feels about it after all this time is unsure.

Ray did this to him, the good and the bad doesn’t matter; it’s the fact that he did it.

[readwing]

I sprung for the Sorted foods Sidekick app and oh my god, it’s been so worth it

[tomorrowusa]

Donald Trump decided to let Elon Musk handle much of the campaign's grassroots effort. As it turns out, Musk is doing to Trump's ground game what he has done to Twitter/X. 😆

Donald Trump’s campaign may be failing to reach thousands of voters they hope to turn out in Arizona and Nevada, with roughly a quarter of door-knocks done by America Pac flagged by its canvassing app as potentially fraudulent, according to leaked data and people familiar with the matter. The potentially fake door-knocks – when canvassers falsely claim to have visited a home – could present a serious setback for Trump as he and Kamala Harris remain even in the polls with fewer than 20 days until an election. The Trump campaign earlier this year outsourced the bulk of its ground game to America Pac, the political action committee founded by Elon Musk, betting that spending millions to turn out Trump supporters, especially those who don’t typically vote, would boost returns. But leaked America Pac data obtained by the Guardian shows that roughly 24% of the door-knocks in Arizona and 25% of the door-knocks in Nevada this week were flagged under “unusual survey logs” by the Campaign Sidekick canvassing app. The Arizona data, for example, shows that out of 35,692 doors hit by 442 canvassers working for Blitz Canvassing in the America Pac operation on Wednesday, 8,511 doors were flagged under the unusual survey logs. The extent of the flagged doors in America Pac’s operation underscores the risk of outsourcing a ground-game program, where paid canvassers are typically not as invested in their candidate’s victory compared with volunteers or campaign staff​. America Pac denied it was experiencing that level of actual fraud in Arizona and Nevada and declined to comment on reporting for this story.

Fortunately for us, Musk's campaign workers are a lot less active than he thinks they are.

The unusual activity logs, for instance, showed a canvasser who was marked by GPS as sitting at a Guayo’s On the Trail restaurant half a mile away from the doors he was supposedly hitting in Globe, Arizona. Another canvasser was recorded marking voters as “not home” two blocks away from that apartment.

I can't blame those slacker workers. Would you want homeowners personally hurling abuse at you for overturning Roe v. Wade or for mishandling the US response to the COVID-19 emergency? An extended lunch at Guayo’s On the Trail is far more appetizing.

This is poor management and wasteful use of money.

But that auditing system used in Arizona and Nevada only works if the fraudulent canvassers are caught quickly, which has not always been the case. In one instance, one canvasser was terminated for blatant fraud only after he had worked for five days and supposedly hit 796 doors – with every single one flagged as suspicious. Part of the problem with paid canvassing, in general, is that canvassing vendors are disincentivized to fire canvassers the more doors they hit because the vendors are paid by the door. If the doors are not hit, the vendor owes money back to the client or owes that many “free” doors. For America Pac, there is further disincentive for vendors to fire canvassers who might only be frauding one door out of every 10 – effectively someone who just cuts corners – because the labor supply of canvassers is diminished this late in the cycle and hiring a replacement is increasingly difficult, two people familiar with the situation said.

People who do political campaign work for free have more incentive to do it properly than paid hands who may not have an ideological stake in the outcome of the election.

[kawaiilizzie]

Hi, I'm sorry, I saw your ask to someone else and I can't for the life of me figure out what emotional immunity means

I feel stupid what happened that you got banned? Or was that sarcasm?

(Im not good with getting tone over text q-q)

I meant emotional immaturity not immunity, sorry spelling error. Long story short, I got overemotional during some of Scott's streams especially in the last two months. The mods had enough of putting up with it and banned me, rejected the apology I made too. My parents advised me to wait a month before making a new account since this isn't the first time something like this happened in my family. (Don't want to talk about it, it's private.)

I am actively working on controlling my emotions more through other streams especially those of the cozy gaming type and have gotten Finch after weeks of consideration to help out.

Finch is working really well for me since I downloaded the app last night. Heavily recommend it if you have trouble with feelings, bad habits, or keeping up with self care! We can be friends on Finch as well, self care is better together after all!

[graciescott27]

Boss!Hawks who ran the agency you worked at. He never really considered himself your boss, though, given how frequently you two went on missions together.

Boss!Hawks who called you into his office for “mission briefings” every week. (You ate wings and gossiped about your coworkers)

Boss!Hawks who was always on the scene a little too fast anytime he heard you were hurt.

Boss!Hawks who absolutely played favorites. To the point that you were basically his sidekick. (He called you his “wingman” and acted like it was the funniest thing ever said)

Boss!Hawks who noticed everything and then joked that it was just “meant to be” when he knew stuff about you. Did he guess the exact way you take your coffee? Absolutely not, he looked over your shoulder while you were ordering on an app.

Boss!Hawks who would randomly send you his feathers and claim it was for safety reasons.

Boss!Hawks who got closer and a lot flirtier anytime you were in public. It was almost like he wanted dating rumors.

Boss!Hawks who blinked at you like you were crazy when you finally asked why he acted like he was in love with you. “Whaaat? Why would you think that? That’s crazy, I don’t like you. That’d be weird. …Unless you’d wanna go out sometime, then I guess I could… rearrange my schedule.”

a.n. sighhhh this is a lot shorter than I wanted it to be

@graciescott27

[dessarchive]

DR IDEAS. A COLLECTION.

the list below is based off of my current list of drs and i thought i’d share to give others more ideas! i will be updating this often because i often have ideas for drs but i can’t say how often that will be. happy shifting!

KPOP (join an established k-pop group, create your own, redesign the lore of your faves, make the group or just yourself the opposite gender, make joint groups, switch members, script members out, switch the generation of the group, whatever your heart desires)

aespa, billlie, bts, enhypen, fromis_9, girls generation, girlnextdoor (sister group of boynextdoor), illit, ive, le sserafim, loona, monster high (based off of monster high), newjeans, powerpuff girls (based off of the powerpuff girls), p1harmony, rescene, secret, stray kids, tripleS, twice, winx (based off of winx club)

FAME (act in a movie, television series, or film, sing on stage or be a backup singer, dance on stage with your faves or be their choreographer, become the it person of a certain decade, become a world renowned artist, become the next nba player, interview your faves, create the next big book that will live on for generations, play your favorite video games as a living)

actress, artist, author, band, basketball player, ballerina, celebrity interviewer, ceo (favorite brand, an app, music), choreographer, director, drag queen, fashion designer, figure skater, gaming youtuber, influencer, katseye, lifestyle youtuber, mukbang youtuber, nepo baby, olympic medalist, royalty, singer, soccer, supermodel, teen fame, travel vlogger, victorious secret angel

TV SERIES/MOVIES (add yourself into the plot, remove the plot and live a chill life, fight off evil, have the perfect love story, be best friends with barbie, be barbie and have her many many careers, have a talking pet…. be a talking pet…, be a mermaid, vampire, be friends with or be the sidekick of superman, batman, iron man, etc)

13 going on 30, the 100, accidentally in love, a.n.t. farm, alvin and the chipmunks, the amazing world of gumball, the aristocats, a series of unfortunate events, austin & ally, avatar, the babysitters club, back to the future, barbie, barbie's life in the dream house, barbie mariposa, barbie in a mermaid tale, barbie thumbelina, batman, best friends whenever, beverly hills chihuahua, boo bitch, bottoms, boy meets world, bride wars, brooklyn 99, business proposal, camp rock, captain marvel, cat in the hat, cheaper by the dozen, coraline, criminal minds, curious george, deadly class, derry girls, descendants, despicable me, diary of a wimpy kid, dog with a blog, eternals, euphoria, fantastic beasts, footloose, franny's feet, frozen, freeridge, garfield, gilmore girls, girl meets world, good luck charlie, gravity falls, h20: just add water, hannah montana, happy feet, harry potter, heartstopper, high school musical, hocus pocus, home alone, hotel transylvania, how the grinch stole christmas, i am not okay with this, icarly, jessie, kc undercover, kickin’ it, komi can't communicate, lab rats, law & order, lemonade mouth, let it shine, lilo & stitch, little miss sunshine, little rascals, little women, mako mermaids, metal lords, moana, modern family, mr. popper's penguins, my babysitters a vampire, night at the museum, the office, on my block, outer banks, peanuts, percy jackson and the olympians, phineas and ferb, pirates of the caribbean, pixie hollow, the polar express, pretty little liars, princess diaries, the princess and the popstar, ratatouille, riverdale, the santa clause, sam and cat, sesame street, sex and the city, shake it up, shameless, sharkboy and lavagirl, sisterhood of the traveling pants, smallville, smurfs, space jam, spider-man, spongebob squarepants, spy kids, starstruck, stranger things, strong woman do bong soon, the suite life on deck, the summer i turned pretty, the thundermans, teen beach movie, the teenage mutant ninja turtles, toy story, twilight, victorious, wicked, wizards of waverly place, zoey 101

VIDEO GAMES (there’s so many more i can’t think of)

animal crossing, hogwarts legacy, life is strange, minecraft, roblox, uncharted

MISCELLANEOUS

a certain decade or time in history, all women paradise (i love women), animal kingdom, atlantis, angel, babylon, baker, better cr, boarding school, dragon academy, dream college student, eternal childhood, eternal summer, farmer, idol school, marine biologist, new colors paradise, santa’s elf, small town, studying, summer camp, teacher, time traveler, vampire, waiting room

[mina-org]

part one - part two - part three - part four - you're reading part five!!

You were being such a bitch.

simon had called endlessly, do you know how annoying getting a new number is? sent texts, sent emails and what did he get back? fuck all.

He knew he was in the dog house but you got a new phone so you couldnt dwell on past text messages anymore but simon knows he was shitty so he starts sending gifts. he can't really remember what you liked, he knows you wanted a fancy baking thing and he couldn't go couldn't go wrong with cash!

Too bad you already brought the thing, at least you something to sell.

Thanks to the the cameras simon also got a front row seat to see as you stuffed his letters into the bin, not even opening them, bit cold love:(

You sigh, closing your eyes as you take a sip of your drink. You've been feeling so bright lately, the last month was fucked, all the stuff with simon and his mohawk maned sidekick, followed by minor stalking and than losing your fuck. it all worked out though.

now you were here! so all that stuff was behind you, now you were focusing on your self, hitting the gym and eating good, deleting social media and focusing on your education, you were even looking forward to go for a food shop, maybe you'd treat your self to a pack of cookies from m&s. While you were with he who shall not be named you felt so insecure, simon had a comment for all it from mocking your avocados and bringing up your failed stint a veganism. just couldn't breathe properly around him.

you're so glad he's gone.

now? peace. bliss.

You knew better now, casual was something you couldn't do. At least simon taught you that.

now your sat in a cafe typing away, sipping on a drink you thought was pretty, everything so perfect!

Until the new barista taps on your shoulder, he explains that your card payments be declined, which is fine! you just got paid, you have money!

your heart beat spikes as it declines, and then again. all you can do is excuse yourself as you check your banking app.

it's all gone. All your wages just disappear.

Definitely Simon's fault, not sure how but you're sure Simon or Johnny will come in and save the day, playing knight. You watch the door but Simon's behemoth form never shows and johnny's jackal like laugh never cuts through the tense silence.

no, they watch from a van outside. both pushing each other to get a better a view, but their effects are fruitless, they can see the outline of you, they're pretty sure it's you anyway. It's not enough to satisfy them.

you stew in panic a little while longer until the barista interrupts you once again. "my mistake love, looks like ya had a free drink on the app." you blink up at him, did this place even have an app? you wanna question but he's already retreated to the counter.

you begin to pack up your shit, you to get this shit sorted. You're grabbed, it's the new barista. at least he's friendly usually the workers are so cool here, it makes you stumble.

"can't forget breakfast love, most important meal 'nd that." you nod, force a smile it doesn't cover the anxiousness and thank him, you're on auto-drive. You wished you be more, you, but can't. you need to figure this shit out.

Soon enough you're on the phone to the bank and they're just saying its been frozen. for fucking fraud.

you cant spend money, withdraw money. literally your money locked away and your bank is useless.

what are you supposed to do?

you were fucked. Up shits creek and fasting being pulled under

they watch as your hands run over your face, you're crying.

Kyle is uncomfortable at the sight, the others are indifferent, Kyle knows it apart of the greater goal but you were glowing this morning, now you were sobbing on your couch, on the verge of having a panic attack.

you scroll through your phone, but theres no one you can call, your closest friend had just stopped talking to you all together and your parents weren't gonna help you, barely being able to afford their mortgage, never mind whatever you were being charged in London, calling them would also just allow them to use it against you in the future.

they watch as you finally open the take out box, hunger and anxiety screaming at you to eat, what the barista had slipped you?, a pastry! score, and a number signed sabre.

sabre. you read it aloud

that a cool name you think to yourself before texting him, you need to thank him for saving your ass earlier and it'll be nice to talk to someone.

simon can't help the jealously that bubbles up. as a phone pings and he knows its not here

taglist: @skeletonsucker @supernova2205 @wh0re4-alexademi @grr457 @gh0st-spid3r @sweetlittleblackrose @aceywaycy @mooievis @theadultoedge @cheese-pull @imtherain@h0e-02 @misscaller06 @lucilleifer @cherryflavoredguts @junitries @aneternallyexhaustedpigeon @drewsphswife @just-lilita @bvrnxy @crempuffie @erintaro @skyfire93 @my-little-evil-blog @alexalix-z @littlemiss-it-girl

[lilyprettyremy]

Polished and Productive: The It Girl Playbook for Organization. 💋☕️

- The Power of a Chic Planner 📄 Your planner is more than just dates and deadlines, it’s your daily sidekick. Opt for one that’s stylish and functional—think sleek leather covers, minimalist designs, and plenty of space for your goals. Use it to jot down tasks, appointments, and those brilliant ideas you get on the go.

- Create a Morning Routine That Sets the Tone 📋 Start your day with a quick, five-minute planning session. Outline your top three priorities, a to-do list, and a motivational quote. This mini habit keeps you focused and ready to conquer the day ahead.

- Declutter Your Digital Space 💻 Your phone and laptop should be as chic as your outfit. Organize your apps into folders, clear out your camera roll, and set a wallpaper that inspires you. Keep your inbox clean by unsubscribing from emails that no longer serve you—it’s like a digital detox.

- Capsule Wardrobe, but for Your Desk 🖋️ Keep your workspace minimalist and clutter-free. Think of it like a capsule wardrobe: only the essentials, but each item should be purposeful and aesthetically pleasing. A sleek pen holder, a chic planner, and a scented candle are all you really need.

- Time Blocking: Your Secret Weapon 🗓️ An It Girl knows that multitasking is out, and time blocking is in. Set specific times for studying, working, and breaks. This method keeps you in control of your schedule, so you can slay your to-do list without feeling overwhelmed.

- Organize Your Thoughts with Brain Dumps 📓 Feeling overwhelmed? Do a quick brain dump—grab a notebook and write down everything on your mind. It’s like a reset button for your brain, clearing the clutter so you can focus on what truly matters.

- Weekly Reset Ritual 🕊️ Dedicate one day a week to reset. This is your time to clean your space, plan for the week ahead, and refresh your mindset. Light a candle, put on a playlist, and make this ritual something you look forward to.

- Stay Inspired with a Vision Board Keep your goals front and center with a vision board. Whether digital or physical, fill it with images, quotes, and aesthetics that align with your dream life. It’s a daily reminder of what you’re working towards and why you’re putting in the effort.

[plutoswritingplanet]

Vicarious (Homelander x Female!Reader) pt.1

a/n: guys... you can't tell me y'all weren't expecting this. Title from the song "Vicarious" by Tool. Really wanted this to be a one shot, but as usual, I have shit to say. Will be Cross-Posted on AO3 as soon as they open the site back up.

Warnings: Nothing Explicit YET, some sexist remarks and creepy behavior from the man of the hour, Questionable Corporate Ethics, Set Before The Events Of The Show, Reader is written to be Plus Size.

Summary: Sidekick projects have been scraped completely after numerous accidents, but as a viral video of your hero work makes rounds through the public, you're forced to take part in a six moths program, that will forever change your life, as well as Homelander's

PT.2 Pt.3 Pt.4 Pt.5

It all started with a video. An insignificant, minute-long nothing posted to TikTok by an account, that up until then, made short edits specifically of A-Train and some B-list no-name hero. Quickly, it gained traction, making rounds throughout the app, bleeding over to other services, all the way to national television. First, an independent local station, soon picked up by a Vaught-affiliated one. Normally, that's where it would've stayed. Stillwell would extend an offer of a chance at an interview, alongside one of the Seven. But for some unknown reason, that small piece of nothing climbed all the way up to the floor eighty-two of Vaught Tower.

Well, to be quite honest, Stillwell knew exactly why she was in this situation. After a very messy graduation speech at a small college, Homelander lost almost twenty points with a young adult demographic. It would've been an easy fix, if not for the delicate nature of the breached subject, and Madelyn knew, this sudden interest in a nobody from nowhere, who, coincidentally, fit the demographic perfectly, was anything but a happy accident. It was a test, both for Homelander, and for her.

Which is why, Madelyn Stillwell and Homelander, the Homelander, the most American supe to ever exist, are cooped up in your living room, glancing about the modest decor, as you pour iced tea into three glasses with tacky fruit print all over them.

You've refused every single invitation, every single Vaught representative that knocked on your door. Your inbox was flooded with emails, your phone number was blowing up two, three times a day. And yet, your answer remained the same. You were not interested in a collaboration, thank you for the opportunity, please leave me alone.

That wouldn't fly, not with Madelyn, who, pushed by the constant nagging from the upper levels of the Tower, decided a more direct approach was the right one. So, she dragged herself into this… Well, to be quite honest, bum-fuck-nowhere, and brought her star pupil with her. No one would refuse working with Homelander himself, after all. At least that's what they both thought.

-I appreciate the effort - there's a practiced, borderline bored intonation in your voice, and Homelander's hands flex on his thighs - But I've already talked with, um, Jerry? From HR? The answer is still no.

Your house is small, but cozy, with sunshine pouring through the windows, reflecting onto the beaded curtain hanging in the doorway to your kitchen. An artist's home, through and through. Homelander hates it, hates the ordinariness of it all. He was so much above all this, sitting on your worn down couch physically hurt him. And the smell. The smell was the worst part. Reheated lasagna, mixing with a lingering aftertaste of cigarette smoke, and an undercurrent of weed, that almost made him retch. If it weren't for that damned video, you would be nothing more, than another brainless ant under his boot.

-Well, we - Madelyn offers her best, brilliant smile, gesturing to herself and Homelander - are very passionate about discovering new talent.

Your mouth twitches into a knowing smile, and for just a second Homelander feels flames of intrigue rising in his chest. Not for long, though, because you recline back into an armchair, taking a sip of the iced tea, and his eyes flash to the way your throat moves as you swallow. You could be hot, he concludes. Young, and with a truly spectacular rack. But there was something off about you, like you were constantly on the verge of dying from boredom, some invisible weight always on your shoulders. No amount of fake smiles and high-end makeup could cover that up.

He'd fuck you. If you'd beg him.

-We want to offer you a new, revised contract - Stillwell extends her hand with a rather thick binder of papers, and you hesitate for a moment, before reaching over. - Hopefully, it will make you reconsider.

You don't even show them the decency of looking through it, placing it on the table instead, and Homelander feels an itch form itself in the corners of his eyes. Stillwell looks taken aback as well, her brilliant smile faltering for just a second. You on the other hand, take another sip of your drink, before placing it right in the middle of the contract, the moisture from the ice creating a wet circle in the paper.

Your heartbeat is even, it doesn't pick up even a smidgen, when you look between Stillwell and America's Greatest Hero, who is slowly but surely growing annoyed by your persistent indifference.

-Thank you, but I already said no - you repeat, and this time, Homelander shifts on the couch.

-And why not? - he asks, tension entering his voice in a way, that makes Madelyn squirm - Countless supes, with much more impressing powers than you, I might add, would kill to be in your place.

"To work with me" goes unsaid, but he can see in your eyes, you read it from thin air of superiority engulfing him. Annoyingly perceptive. You nod your head slowly, before turning away from them, looking out of the window of your living room. There's a small patch of grass, and a second house, so similar to yours, but at the same time, completely different. Your chin sticks out in its direction, and Homelander follows with his eyes.

There are paper butterflies stuck to the windows, cut out clumsily, most likely by children's hands.

-My neighbour, Missus Johnson - you explain - She lives there, with her three kids. Her husband died in a fire caused by your friend, Lamp Lighter.

Madelyn stills, Homelander raises an eyebrow.

-I can afford this house, only because my mother signed an NDA, after The Deep sank my father's fishing boat. - again, your heart stays completely unaffected - Accidentally, of course.

-I was not aware… - Madelyn starts, and it's hard to decipher whether she's talking to you, or Homelander.

Someone at the research department is going to have a very unpleasant evening.

-That's alright - you interrupt her with a raised hand and a small smile - This whole neighborhood is filled with similar cases. And I'm very, very attached to this place.

Why, Homelander couldn't tell. For all he knew, this was some shit hole, right in the suburbs outside New York. Not even the half decent ones. A forgotten by everyone, dying piece of land, that housed insignificant humans, who would never amount to anything, you included. He lived in a lavish apartment, inside a miracle of modern architecture. Who wouldn't want the same?

-And - there's something new entering your tone of voice - If I'm going to betray everything I stand for, I need to give something back to those people. Does your contract reflect that?

Madelyn bites the inside of her cheek, her scrutinizing gaze making your skin itch. Still, she sighs after a moment, excusing herself with that same, practiced expression she uses on every shareholder. Homelander follows her out, nodding his goodbye to you, but before he can leave this dump, Madelyn stops him with a hand pressed against his chest. She gives him one look, makes him aware that his job isn't over, and he can feel the muscles of his face twitch.

So, obediently, he lingers in your doorway, taking a few calming breaths, before facing you once more.

You've changed positions, your armchair abandoned in favor of sitting by the window, one leg bent in a way, that shows quite a nice view of your calf, your long skirt pooling around you. Homelander's eyes trail up with mild interest, and he indulges in his X-ray vision. He's just being curious, nothing more.

Your underwear is, well, for the lack of a better word, plain. The bra seems to be slightly ill fitted, digging into the sides of your breasts, making them almost spill from under your pits, and Homelander swallows thickly at the sight. There are little, pink hearts on your panties. The colors are dull and washed out from frequent use, and the once frilly lace is starting to fray at the edges.

Apparently Vaught's compensation was not sufficient for you to buy some decent undergarments.

-Do you want something to eat? Drink? - you ask from your place by the window, and Homelander is snatched back to reality - Do you even need food?

The bluntness of the question startles him, makes him feel defensive, but Madelyn wanted results, so he puts on a mask of his trained smile, and crosses the room. Back straight like an arrow, he looks wildly out of place between all the linens and cushions. He doesn't look at you, trapping your smaller form in the confinement of the window, as he watches over the neighboring house.

-I'm not hungry - he shoots down your offer with a wave of his hand - I've already eaten.

A lie, but he'd never stoop low enough to take any leftovers, especially from you. Still, the offer seems nice. He does like being pampered, even if it's with lackluster things. Your eyes linger on his boyish smile, another practiced thing, and Homelander shifts focus to your heartbeat once again.

-Alright then - your voice sounds indifferent as ever - Well, if you don't mind, I'm going to make some dinner for myself.

He offers a small nod, and watches you from his position by the window, as you slip past him. It does require quite a lot of manoeuvering, but you manage to stand without touching him. He has to admit, watching you balance, as you try to avoid him, was amusing. Still, your heart beats calmly, and, not wanting to be left on his own, Homelander follows you to your kitchen. The beads of the courtain drum delicately over the bronze eagles on his shoulders.

The fridge is buzzing something awful. He can see just how run down the inside mechanism is, the hinges squeaking unbearably, as you reach for a box of reheatable spaghetti. There's cheep beer inside, a moldy lemon, a carton of milk pretty close to expiring, and a half-used bottle of spicy ketchup. Homelander doesn't even recognize these brands, they're not sponsored by Vaught, that's for sure.

Cheap, tasteless, basically offering no nutritional value.

-Would you step back for a second? - he asks, already wrenching himself between you and that pathetic excuse of a meal.

Again, your body sways to avoid touching him, and for some unknown reason, he finds it very amusing.

Then, you watch with a raised eyebrow, as he turns towards your spaghetti, a red sheen overtaking his eyes. An unbearably hot beam shoots out, making the insides of the plastic packaging sizzle. Finally, that gets him a reaction, as you gasp and reel back, colliding with the barely functional fridge. Your heart does a flip inside your chest, and Homelander soaks up your shock like a man starved.

Only when the red fizzles out of his gaze do you dare to move, approaching him slowly, your eyes bearing into him in a way that is frankly uncomfortable.

He turns to you with another one of his charming smiles, trying to handle this sudden scrutiny in as flippant a way as possible.

-I had no idea you can control the intensity of your lazer - you admit, voice slightly breathless.

-Pretty neat, huh? - perhaps he's fishing for more attention, but he doesn't care, because your eyes light up for just a moment in sheer wonder.

-Super cool, actually.

Yeah. Yeah, that's fucking right, he is super cool. And your heart is beating so much faster, and finally you're looking at him as if he's more than just some guy, some living advertisement you're determined to ignore.

And then your eyes shift, eyebrows furrowing ever so slightly, as you zero in on his shoulder. Something akin to a wave of amusement flickers across your expression, and to his general surprise, Homelander wants to know what's the cause of this shift. Your lips pull back into a smile, teeth peaking at him in all their glory. He can almost imagine them running down his skin, before he pushes the thought back all together, as the lower portion of his suit becomes slightly too tight for comfort.

-Well, thank you for saving the spaghetti - your eyes hold a spark of amusement - My hero.

Okay, alright, he's hard. There's no point denying it. However annoying and insignificant you were moments before, your quip goes straight to his loins, burning enough, for him to consider just how mad Stillwell would be, if he'd have a taste of this newly discovered talent.

If he stands any closer to you, he might find out, because this special little moment you two have shared, is crudely interrupted by Madelyn clearing her throat. Homelander nearly jumps back, you however barely turn your head, reaching for your spaghetti and arming yourself with a fork.

-I've spoken to my supervisor - Stillwell announces, clearly peeved by the way you start chewing on the noodles - A new version of the contract will be emailed to you as soon as possible. Hopefully it will be satisfactory.

-Thank you, Miss Stillwell - you answer with an inclination of your head.

With that, Madelyn nods her goodbye at you, refusing to shake your hand, which does amuse you, you're not going to lie. Homelander however, goes all out, capturing your fork-weilding arm, his fingers sneaking around your wrist like a bracelet. Or a shackle. Then, you watch with a confused arch to your eyebrows, as he brings you closer, until his lips press onto the protruding knuckles. Now that, admittedly, gets your heart going. You were not an easily embarrassed person, not by a long shot, but you could feel blood rushing towards your face all the same.

He has to hold his breath, as he kisses your hand in that charming, gentleman way he's seen in old movies. The smell of pasteurized tomato sauce blows in his direction, like a direct assault on his senses. Still, he needed something that would make you swoon. If everything failed, he knew how to be intimidating, but for now, perhaps he wanted to try something different. Something that would yield much more pleasant results, for the both of you. Mostly for him, let's be honest.

Madelyn asks him to stay back, spy on you throughout the night, and he begrudgingly agrees, if only to mask the fact, that he would do so of his own volition, had she not brought it up. And as such, he floats into the rapidly cooling air, disappearing into the darkening sky, where you wouldn't be able to see him even if you tried. He could see you however, and hear you, and he was about to make the most of the situation.

He spends the whole evening just watching you exist within your space. Normally, it would piss him off beyond belief. You weren't doing anything scandalous, anything that could warrant his attention. And yet, as he floats on, in time lowering himself just slightly, to get a better view, he just can't seem to look away. The spaghetti is gone in approximately fifteen minutes, as you inhale the supermarket food, walking around the living room, the kitchen, getting a few bites on the porch even. You seem so utterly unfazed by the events of the past hour, like you haven't just had America's Greatest Superhero try to convince you to work with him. It's honestly insulting, this lack of reaction.

Then, finally, he can hear a distinct ping of a new email come from your laptop, and you sit down on the couch with a small huff. Your eyes move, your lips twitch, and then he hears your heart stop in your chest. As if working on autopilot, your hand travels up, covers your mouth in shock, and you lean back against the worn-down sofa, eyes glued to the screen illuminating your face in a blue-ish light.

-...fuck… - you whisper, and despite himself Homelander floats even closer to your window.

Finally, he has the chance to peak over the curtain. To sneak into the backstage of the award winning production of your defenses, and see what goes on in those bored eyes of yours, when they're not guarded. And what he sees makes his suit feel much too tight, his body too warm. Quite an unusual thing to get so worked up about, but he's the goddamned Homelander, he can get hard whenever he fucking wants. And so, as saliva gathers on his tongue, he presses himself against the tiles on your roof, all the warmth of the day soaking into his skin through the thick material of his suit.

With a shaky hand you reach over towards your phone, putting in a number and pressing the call button, before standing straight from the couch, almost knocking the laptop over.

-Hey, what's up? - someone says on the other end of the line, and Homelander tries to focus more on the words flowing from the receiver.

-Oh, you gotta sit down for that one - you warn with an anxious chuckle, taking the familiar place by the window.

With your free hand you reach up to open the window all the way. Then, Homelander sees your fingers slip between the pillows and pull out a rather beaten up pack of cigarettes.

Naughty, naughty, he thinks, watching you produce a lighter from that same hiding place.

-Alright, I'm sat like never before.

The voice sounds vaguely female, although the shitty quality of your phone makes it hard to decipher. Your lips pull back into a toothy grin, and you blow out the smoke through the window. It curls upwards and dissipates into the air, right above the roof, where Homelander swallows thickly around a coughing fit.

-You will not believe who visited me today…

-The ICE - the voice deadpans, and you snort around another huff of smoke.

-Pretty fucking close, let me tell you - he doesn't appreciate the joke, not at all - Fucking Homelander.

The line goes completely quiet for a moment, and with every second your grin seems to be growing.

-Deadass?

-Yup - your lips purse, and Homelander zeroes in on the expression - Flew in all Star's Spangled Glory with some Vaught big fish. They tried to convince me to join the Seven.

-And obviously you said yes, because what the fuck else do you do in that situation?

Your grin slowly fades away, and you lean your forehead on the window frame.

-You didn't?

-I didn't.

Again, it's quiet.

Homelander shifts a bit in his position, adjusting against the warmed up tiles of the roof, his X-ray vision bearing into you. Out of curiosity, he looks deeper, eyes floating over your insides. You're relatively healthy. Some vitamin deficiencies, but nothing too serious. And despite that nasty habit lodged between your fingers, your lungs are clear, at least for now. There's a softness to your body, your muscles barely visible, as if you're just another gray human. Oh, and there's a bit of an eyesight problem forming, not enough to warrant glasses, but that shouldn't take long, considering your lifestyle.

-The contract they gave me was really good, you know - you muse to the phone, your leg dangling from the windowsill - Six months of working under Homelander, a Sidekick kinda situation.

-I thought they scraped the Sidekick program - the person on the other side wonders - Too many casualties or something.

-Yeah, well I guess they want to bring it back.

-Why did you say no then? I'm sure they pay is gigantic.

Again, you smile. This one much more reserved, bordering on sad. There's that strange kind of exhaustion settling into your bones again, same one Homelander noticed when he first saw you. Your shoulders slump forward, and you curl into yourself between the cushions.

-It was, it was… - you mutter - But I needed something more, for the neighborhood, ya know?

Your caller hums softly in understanding, and Homelander feels like something is passing him by. Some unspoken fact, that you and your friend find obvious.

-And - you hesitate, eyes flickering towards the laptop, your heart beat picking up ever so slightly - They sent me a revised contract. And it's fucking good. Really fucking good. It could help this entire place get back on its feet.

-But you still don't want to - the voice says for you, without judgement.

-No - you sigh - I really, really don't.

-Say no then - your friend supplies, and once again Homelander feels a flame of annoyance start to burn within him - No one else knows about the contract, there will be no expectations.

Slowly, you nod your head, clearly relieved by the way your friend reacted to the news. Homelander however, caught you right where he needed you. That's your lever. Not seduction, not intimidation, just plain, stupidly human guilt.

-Thank you - you whisper into your phone, finally smiling again - Oh, wanna know one more thing?

-Obviously.

-Homelander's wearing a padded suit.

Something's stuck in his throat, as he reels back from his position. Before he can stop himself, his eyes begin to glow red, because how the fuck did you know?

-Okay, that's bullshit.

-Unless his shoulder dislocated in the middle of talking, then no, it's definitely not bullshit.

Your friend gives out a choked laugh, one which you mirror with your own. If Homelander wasn't so utterly flabbergasted by your (correct) observation, he would've stopped to appreciate the sound. As it stands, however, he pushes himself off your roof, a couple of broken pieces falling off of the tiles. And then he's up in the air, cutting through the winds, headed straight for the Tower, leaving you in the comfort of your insignificant, smelly home.

The contract is leaked before the sun is up.

You're awoken to thousands of news articles flooding your timeline, all listing the truly wonderful and selfless points in the fated email. With a white face, you read them all, the speculations, the theories, the angry comments about you being chosen without an actual casting, while all those up and coming supes are busting their asses in auditions.

Soon enough, you're visited by every neighbour possible, congratulating, thanking you. A barbecue is set in the street, as a way of celebration, and you want to throw your phone, and subsequently yourself into the nearest river.

Madelyn Stillwell sends you an email, scheduling a meeting at the Vaught Tower. No need for pleasantries at this point, you stare at the bare bones invitation. "We eagerly await the start of our partnership" looks back at you, mocking your resolve. And thus, the end of your life as you know it begins.

"Project Delinquent"

The words are printed in an ugly, corporate font, and they stare back at you, outlining the mold you're supposed to fit in, in such a perfect way, it actually, almost makes you retch. True, during high school you were quite the little rebel, but people grown and learn, and seeing your character be watered down to that simple word, does send a wave of nausea through your insides. Even if this is hell of your own making, even if you're ready to swallow it all down with a smile, there's a pang of humiliation stinging your heart.

The armchair in Stillwell's office is uncomfortably narrow. It barely has enough room to accommodate your hips, and you wonder if this design is intentional. There is a growing ache in your calves, as you sit so close to the edge, you can't fully relax into your position, balancing on your feet instead. The armrests dig into your sides, and the way the sun is shining through the gigantic windows of the office, is shaping this charade of a meeting into an overstimulating nightmare. Still, you endure. For all the wonderful benefits enclosed in your contract, the charity work Vaught is going to supply.

Or at least, that's what you keep telling yourself, stuck between the marketing department representatives and a literal Devil of a woman.

Madelyn Stillwell doesn't know what to make out of you. Your files were filled with all sorts of questionable activity, especially around the college area. It's honestly a miracle you've managed to get your degree, and attend all those silly little demonstrations at the same time. Your criminal record has been wiped clean, weeks before you even agreed to sign the contract, just in case any leaks would find their way into the media. Leaks that were not orchestrated by Madelyn, of course.

High school rebellion was almost too easily marketable, Madelyn decided to focus on that part of your life as much as possible, her vision slowly coming to fruition. All she needed, really, was cooperation. And while you seemed to be mostly receptive to her ideas, she needed to make sure Homelander was on his best behavior. Which, well… Could go sideways in the worst way imaginable, but Stillwell tried to have some faith in her best superhero.

The idea of releasing details of your contract to the public, was a stroke of genius, she did not expect from Homelander, and she made sure he was thoroughly rewarded. With him, it was always better to choose the hands-on approach, unfortunately. With you, however, ideals were the key. Whatever feeling of solidarity you harbored towards your neighborhood, provided a leverage relatively easy to control. Still, as Stillwell looked you over, crammed into her office in your, frankly, lousy attire, she couldn't help but be just a tad worried about your compliance.

-…And then - the marketer continues with a dramatic gasp - Homelander comes in. America's Greatest Hero, offers you a mentorship. And you…

You look up at the representative with a rather sour expression. They have to work on that too. Media training was crucial. You won't be able to sell anything, if you keep grimacing like that all the damned day.

-… Are starstruck - your mouth twitches - You strike up a deal, selfless. A rebel with a heart of gold. Finally, you can make some real change happen, so you push aside your anti-corporate values, to discover, that Vaught is so much more, than you could possibly imagine.

It's hard not to laugh, and you swallow thickly, biting your lip, as a middle-aged woman you don't recognize gets up from the couch, and makes her way to the wall opposite of your torture chair. There, tucked in a corner and hidden under a black cloth, stands a mannequin, roughly your size. With a flourish you find utterly out of place, the woman tugs at the cape, and as it falls to the floor, so does your stomach. You can't hold it in any longer. A rough snort of laughter rips out of your nose, and you cover your mouth instantly.

-That better be a laugh of delight - Ashley, a ginger menace, mutters under her breath, and Stillwell turns to you with a tight expression on her face.

-Something the matter?

-I mean - you take a deep, grounding breath, tying your amusement in the back of your throat - I knew it's going to be skimpy, but this is…

You look around the room, seeing various stages of corporate outrage, and then you lock eyes with Homelander. Stillwell insisted on his participation in the meeting, as the both of you are supposed to work closely together, and throughout the whole ordeal, he looked borderline ready to die of boredom. Now, however, his eyebrows lift in a curious manner, as he takes in the, to be completely honest, horrendous costume, and your full figure. Something dangerously close to disgust twists your features, as he shamelessly drags his eyes all over your body.

Who would've thought America's Sweetheart was a fucking creep?

Rolling your eyes, you get up from the cursed armchair, your knees cracking loudly. Crossing the room, you take a closer look at the clothing, or rather, lack there of. Torn fishnets, plaid tennis skirt, and a corset top, made out of some leather-like material. Truly, a fetishists wet dream. Your fingers sample the fabric of the skirt. Surprisingly stiff, it seems to beg for a wardrobe malfunction. With a frown pulling down your lips, you lift the material up, and as expected, find no safety shorts underneath.

Homelander watches you intently, as you inspect the costume. Just the thought of your soft body in this skimpy, corporate bastardization of a rock star, makes heat rise in the lower part of his stomach. With every disapproving pull of your, and don't quote him on that, perfect lips, he's more and more convinced this whole charade is just an early birthday present. He'll have to thank Stillwell. Or better not, because as soon as he throws her a sidelong glance, he discovers, she's already looking at him. With a rather tense expression at that.

He feigns innocence, almost raises his hands in mock defeat, but decides against it at the last second. You're still watching him, torn between inspecting the costume, and shooting disgruntled looks in his direction.

Then, as if pulled by some invisible force, your hand sneaks to the front of the corset, fingers closing over the full cup, where your breast will soon reside. You give the mock leather two squeezes, and a high-pitched laugh wheezes out of your lips. Homelander's head nearly snaps with how fast he turns to look at Stillwell, confusion clear on his face.

She's looking at you cautiously. He knows that expression all too well, he's seen it multiple times during their partnership. She's calculating, with bated breath, just how much of a problem you'll inevitably become. How to turn it around in the company's favor, how to steer you in the right direction, should the need arise.

But then, you clap your hands, still giggling quietly, and turn to the designer, who's been watching your reaction with a growing distaste.

-That's one hell of a push-up bra - you comment with a raised eyebrow - My tits will fly straight out of this, if I even think about moving my arms.

Now, that's something Homelander would love to see, and you note his leering face with an uncomfortable shift in your posture.

-Your physique has to be god-like. There's no shame in a little padding - the designer answers simply, and your eyes glimmer with amusement.

-Oh, I bet - your eyes float for just a second in Homelander's direction, and he wonders if lasering you down right now would be too harsh of a reaction.

The image had to be kept up, however, and he deflects your blatant provocation with a bright smile. Or rather, it would've been a bright smile, if his cheek didn't twitch in a way, that portrayed exactly how forced his pleasantries are.

-There will be a press conference, seven PM sharp, where you'll be introduced to the public - Ashley informs you, her eyes glued to her tablet - Homelander will give a welcoming speech, explain that you're a temporary member of The Seven. Then, you'll need to say a couple of words. We'll send you the talking points ASAP.

-Right… - you mutter, not particularly thrilled by the idea of public speaking.

Stillwell looks over her shoulder towards Homelander, giving him an expectant, raised eyebrow. Slowly, he moves from his spot by the window, hand extended in a greeting, teeth flashing in a smile. Your eyes involuntarily shift towards his rather sharp canines, and for the first time, since you've signed the contract, you truly feel uneasy. His eyes are almost unnaturally blue, a perfect, American shade, that glimmers just a tad too dangerously. There's no need for super senses, he can feel your nerves in the very air you breathe.

-Welcome to The Seven - his voice is smoother than you've ever heard before - Fireball.

Wait a god-damned minute.

Confusion covers all previous feelings, and to Homelander's growing annoyance, you leave him with his hand extended, in favor of turning towards Stillwell.

-That's not my name - you point out, and Madelyn nods her head in a practiced expression of understanding.

-Due to some copyright intricacies, we can't let you use Smirnoff - she explains.

You suck in a deep breath through your teeth, looking back towards the costume. A moment's hesitation, you close your eyes as you breathe out, and once again Homelander feels as if he's able to peak under a carnival mask you carefully placed upon yourself. He lifts it just enough, sees the way muscles on your neck twitch. Your jaw sets in a way, that is slowly becoming intoxicating, and then you turn back to him.

-I'm honored - your voice is hollow, locked far away in the column of your throat, and you don't have enough strength to even attempt a smile.

That's alright, he has enough charm for the both of you, his imposing stature pushing towards you, as his arm sneaks around your shoulders.

Fuck, you're warm. He can feel the heat of your skin seeping into his costume. There's a vaguely familiar smell clinging to your form, mixing with the scent of cigarette smoke. Jasmine flowers, he concludes, and absent-mindedly remembers a rather large bush growing in your backyard. He wonders, if you'd let him fuck you, if he showed up with a bouquet at your door. Women seemed to like those, and although you didn't strike him as the most romantic person, he's positive he could charm his way into your pants.

-I'll show you to your room, sweetheart - perhaps he's laying it on a bit heavy with the nickname.

He can hear Stillwell's heart jump, and he immediately knows, he's going to have to sit through a stern talk later today. You, on the other hand, wrench your head to the side, disgruntled with this new form of familiarity. Your entire body goes tense, and you try to wriggle yourself further away from him. On instinct, his fingers dig into your shoulder, a mockery of a friendly expression, and with just a small fragment of his true strength, he pushes you forward, out of Stillwell's office.

He can do whatever he wants, and Madelyn is getting awfully pushy with guarding you from him. You're just a temporary toy to satisfy the higher-ups. A six months worth of an experiment, that he's forced to be a part of. After your contract is up, Vaught won't care whether you live or die, and you bet your rather ample ass, he's going to exploit that to the fullest. Not only is it borderline insulting, to deny him life's simple pleasures, it's pathetic.

-Nervous about the press? - he asks in a light tone, his jaw clicking softly, when your slide out of his grasp as soon as the doors close.

The casualness of this question throws you in a bit of a loop, but with a couple of rapid blinks, you're back to normal, letting him lead you towards the elevator.

-Public speaking isn't my best asset - you mumble.

Homelander presses the call button of the elevator, then leans against the wall, watching you with a strange twinkle in his eye.

-Sounds like someone's not a people person - he notes, wiggling his finger at you in a manner that is confusingly playful.

-I am a people person - you defend yourself, albeit a bit awkwardly - Just… Not when there's a lot of people.

He laughs at that, a practiced, almost theatrical bark that's as fake as his hairdo. All you have the strength to do, is flash him half of a smile. Thankfully the elevator pings before any more small-talk is required, and you slip into the confined space, standing in the corner. His eyes roam freely all over your body, a shameless act that makes your guts twist, makes the already small space of the elevator even more stuffy. And then, he enters after you, pressing a button to the right floor, and taking a spot much too close to you, than what's necessary.

You suppose it's one of the things you'll have to get used to. This constant invasion of your personal space. Perhaps, if it were someone else, someone that wasn't as empty as you, those actions would've been more intimidating than annoying. Alas, as you watch his chest rise and fall in steady rythm, out of the corner of your eye, his actions remind you of a petulant, spoiled child, rather than America's Greatest Hero. "I can't play with this toy? And what if I do this?" For just a second you entertain the idea of gentle parenting Homelander, and the thought makes the corner of your mouth twitch.

-Something the matter? - he asks, tension sneaking into his friendly tone.

-Just happy to be here, sir - you answer, and he knows it's a blatant lie, another one of your snarky provocations.

Doesn't matter for now, there will be a time to teach you some manners.

The elevator arrives at the right floor, and you bolt out of your place as soon as the doors slip open. Homelander follows closely behind, before closing the distance in a couple of long steps. Then, he's in front of you, and you nearly collide with his form, as he suddenly comes to a stop, in front of a pair of large doors. "Fireball" is etched into a small plack, and you throw the offending piece of metal a withering glance.

-That's your stop, sweetheart - he comments, and once again, you grimace at the nickname - Take a look inside, I'm sure it will blow your socks right off.

Why is he talking to you like you're a fucking child all of a sudden, you'll never understand. The door clicks softly, as you open it, revealing your living space for the next six months. The sight chokes a laugh out of you, because truly, the ammount of "punk" memorabilia is staggering.

-Does cocaine addiction come with the package, or…?

He doesn't even react to your joke, and you don't blame him. For all his creepiness and fake interest, he doesn't strike you as the funniest person on earth. There are guitars hanging over a rather large bed, there's a pristine stop sign next to them, which you suppose is meant to look rebellious. The usage of leopard print is tacky at best, and you truly start to wonder if they even consulted someone out of the corporation to design the space. Most likely no, wouldn't want to waste resources on such a small project.

-Fireball - Homelander's voice is barely above a whisper, but it makes your heart jump all the same.

He's standing so closely behind you, you can feel the warmth of his breath at the back of your neck, but for some unnknown reason, you can't force yourself to move. Instead, you feel him take a deep breath trough his nose, his chest brushing against your back. Your eyes stay glued to a drum set, pushed against a gigantic window. Light reflects off of the cymbals, in your mind you're already playing it, far away from this nightmare of a superhero.

-I'll see you at the press conference - Homelander's hand clasps itself over your shoulder, squeezing a couple of times, as if testing the softness of your body - Don't even think about being late, young lady.

You don't know when he dissapears, as you stand there, frozen. One foot over the threshold of your room, breathing shallow and borderline panicked. It could've been seconds, could've been hours, until your head finally snaps to the side. He's not there anymore, you're alone in the corridor, and as you slam the door closed behind you, something you've only suspected before becomes abundantly clear.

There is something deeply wrong with Homelander.

[nasa]

Commander Callie Continues Moon Mission in NASA’s Second Graphic Novel

You followed fictional astronaut, Callie Rodriguez, on her journey to the Moon in our First Woman graphic novel, “Issue No. 1: From Dream to Reality.”

In the brand new “Issue No. 2: Expanding our Universe,” find out how Callie and her robotic sidekick RT escape the lunar lava tunnel and what challenges await them on the lunar surface.

See Callie and her new crewmates work together as a team and navigate the unexpected as they take on a challenging mission to deploy a next-generation telescope on the far side of the Moon. Now available digitally in English at nasa.gov/CallieFirst and in Spanish at nasa.gov/PrimeraMujer!

Along with the new chapter, the First Woman app – available in the Apple and Google Play stores – has been updated with new immersive, extended reality content. Explore the lunar surface and learn about the real technologies we’re building to make living and working on the Moon – and eventually, Mars – possible.

Make sure to follow us on Tumblr for your regular dose of space!

[thepenultimateword]

Prompt #273

"My eyes sting," Sidekick grumbled, rubbing their palms into their sockets.

Hero passed them a bottle of eyedrops from the glove compartment. "That is the way of stakeouts. It’ll all pay off once we catch Villain."

Sidekick rolled the bottle in their hands. "I have to pee."

Hero sighed. "Now?"

"Well, if you want me to go here--"

"Just be quick. We can't afford to let anyone see you.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Sidekick slipped out the passenger door, distancing themselves a good few hundred feet from the car before looking up and down the street for a gas station or convenience store or whatever else might have a restroom they could use. They pulled out their phone and began typing into the maps app. “Gas stations…near…”

A large hand wrapped around the screen, pushing it down to Sidekick’s side. The hero’s head shot up, and their insides froze.

Villain.

“I really don’t feel like dealing with Hero today,” the criminal said, working the phone out Sidekick’s hand, while the other arm wrapped—to and outsiders view, affectionately—around the back of their neck. “So I’d appreciate it if you didn’t scream.”

[allthelittlecreepycrawlies]

I posted before about Huaisang having low grades because he just can't manage to give a shit, but he has the global high score on one of the hardest escape room apps ever and he speedruns ridiculously difficult platformer games for fun and all of his sidekicks in monster collecting games are the equivalent of God Killer Pachirisu.

Anyway, Jiang Cheng and Meng Yao being the only ones who've actually seen him pull off this nonsense, and nobody believes them because Huaisang? Sure, he's a great artist, but a gaming genius?

Then Wei Wuxian gets a great idea. They'll leave his phone on the coffee table open to one of those super pain in the ass games like a snack under a box trap and see if Huaisang takes the bait, then see how long it takes him to beat the level. According to the internet, the average "amazing" score is like 15 minutes.

Huaisang's done with it in 10. And then undoes the save so that it doesn't look like he's played at all and lays Wei Wuxian's phone back down in exactly the same position it was in before.

What. The fuck.

[taintedmind6669]

Do I have an ongoing Billy Batson fic that I’ve been avoiding working on for months? Yeah. Anyways heres this open-ended drabble I’ve been keeping in my notes app since November

Trigger warning for mildly graphic descriptions of life-threatening injury, its not super bad but if you’re sensitive to that kinda thing you prolly shouldn’t read this

SOS

No no no no no this could NOT be how he went out. Not from a stray bullet fired during a drug deal gone wrong. Billy clasped his hand to his stomach as he ran, gasping for air but desperate to get away lest the criminals turn their focus away from each other and onto the little kid who had been snooping on their business and had let out an unfortunate yelp upon having been shot directly in some very vital internal organs. Billy wasn’t sure how far he ran, time was beginning to swirl and slide away from his grasp with every heavy footfall and little black dots speckled the corners of his vision, threatening to take over his sight entirely.

   He hadn't even intended to investigate the pair’s shady dealings, he just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time in the wrong form, seriously, the one time he wasn’t getting the scoop for his radio gig just had to be the one time he got mixed up in something genuinely life threatening. Billy’s rotten luck was starting to really get on his nerves. It took a lot to get Billy well and truly worked up, especially when it came to injustices enacted against himself as opposed to civilians, but come on? There was only so much bad luck he could endure before wondering if perhaps some other pantheon of Gods had it out for his patrons and decided to take it out on him. Most Gods weren’t exactly known for their emotional maturity.

   Minutes and seconds congealed into one mass of sticky uncertainty taking up space in the forefront of Billy’s mind, he couldn’t focus, the air in his lungs was leaving him faster than he could replace it with shallow shaky breaths.

   Fuck, he was really going to die in a dingy alley as Billy Batson, the homeless runaway that shoveled peoples driveways for a little extra food money. He bit back a cry of agony as he dropped down against the wall of a building, he couldnt tell what building his was leaned against, he couldn’t recognize the street, he could barely see through the dark fog circling his line of sight.

   He pulled his cold pale hand away from the bullet wound, his heart dropped at the fuzzy sight of blood gushing out, eager to vacate his body’s rapidly dying husk. His already red shirt turned a deep crimson-black in a wide circle around the hole. He couldn’t think straight, his eyes shook and pain pulled at every inkling of a thought he managed to form, somehow, he gathered just enough strength to pull his Justice League communicator out of his pocket.

With limited control over his trembling fingers and a weak grasp on consciousness Billy sent a message to the unofficial leader of the Justice League.

Billy’s last thought before the dark dreamless sleep pulled him under was that he should really look into luck spells if he happens to survive this.

…

A shout pierced the quiet Gotham night, like the chime of midnight, echoing and demanding attention.

Batman and his ward zeroed in on the sound that served as a verbal spotlight, the scuffle was relatively simple: a masked man grappling with a woman for her purse while stood on the doorstep of a skinny and sad looking apartment complex.

Robin looked up at Batman with starry eyes, Batman responded with a curt nod, allowing his sidekick to handle the situation on his own while he observed from the nearby rooftop.

Bruce could tell the aggressor was young based on his stature, his body language hemorrhaged inexperience by the gallon, it seemed like a safe enough bet for his student of a little under 3 years to handle alone.

Just as Robin had finished tightening the zip ties around the perpetrator’s wrists Batman felt a buzz from his JL communicator. It wasn’t often that Batman received an alert on the device, he had made it very clear that the communicators were only to be used in the most dire situations or if there was an urgent matter the whole group needed to discuss.

Half expecting to find a message from Flash about the Watchtower being out of granola bars, Batman pulled the device from his utility belt.

He was mildly surprised to find that it was Captain Marvel who had messaged him, it wasn’t as though the hero was too proud to ask for help, it was simply that the “World’s Mightiest Mortal” didn’t typically need it.

The last time Marvel had needed the assistance of the Justice League on Fawcett business was when Mister Atom was on a rampage, exploding buildings faster than Marvel could evacuate them and the demigod had asked for help getting civilians to safety while he dealt with the robot.

Batman glanced back at his protégé, he watched Dick hand the woman her purse with that boyish smile on his face and he felt a warmth bloom inside of him. Robin could manage babysitting the would-be purse thief during the few minutes it took for the cops to arrive at the scene, in the meantime he could read the Captain’s message and determine the next course of action.

Upon opening the message Batman’s eyebrows furrowed and that warm sense of pride was washed away by a distinct concern.

“SOS”

The message was joined by a little square with a blinking red dot smack dab in the middle, matching red text underneath the dot displayed the hero’s exact coordinates.

As if on cue, red and blue lights illuminated the street, Bruce gestured for Dick to leave the man and follow him, the authorities were close enough that the man wouldn’t be able to run far enough to get away. Batman and Robin were never really known for staying to chat with Gotham PD, a pattern which would have to continue as now the two had somewhere to be, and a demigod to save.

[krems-chair]

Idk, me personally? the very second we realized that Davrin's value to certain people at Bioware was directly tied to the game's primary Animal Sidekick was the second I was 100% done with Veilguard being remembered in a net positive way. Every time I open the app I see debates continuing to rage on over the level of respect or gratitude aforementioned certain people deserve when like. There's nothing to defend.

They nuked my girl Vivienne, and then they tried to sideline my bestie Davrin to the supporting character in his own storyline.

I've been around long enough to read multiple interviews where the writers thoughtfully explain why they made particular character choices and how they considered the impact character identities might have on the fans they were in community with. We know they can be better. They weren't. Therefore, there's an automatic cap on the ceiling of how great Veilguard can ever truly be. At least for me, anyway.