#sort of a vent

[eluxurex]

That feeling of pain when you haven't really gotten any posts from a moot appearing on your dash for a while and you think they're just having a break and then when you're doing a tag game Tumblr recommends their user but it has a deactivated label attached to it...

I don't even know what's worse, them deactivating or the fact that they probably did it such a long time ago and I didn't even freaking notice

[e4tyou4l1ve]

i’ve been trying to get help with this specific issue, but most of my recent requests have been met with silence. so now i have to make a post about it.

am i allowed to include myself in the trans community?

i want to transition into a more neutral body. i don’t want genitals. i want as small as a chest as possible without removing my breasts entirely. but i still want to be a woman.

but most of my documents already refer to me as a woman. i used to say that i have an F on my birth certificate, but i now realize that i can’t even say that because i’ve never seen my birth certificate. i have no idea what i am.

my parents always forced me into a more feminine way of things, over emphasizing how much of a girl i was, especially when around others. i think they were tired of people not believing them when i said i was a girl.

peers forced me into more masculine roles, some even insisting that i was secretly a boy. i hated both of these things. i just wanted to be myself. and i still do.

but i’m still a girl. and people saw me as a girl when i was growing up. so by definition i can’t be trans, right? genuine question. it’s all about being something other than the gender you were assigned at birth. and i was assigned female by a doctor. violently. via them cutting me up and ruining my genitals. i was assigned female. brutally. by being reminded of how much of a girl i was while someone was molesting me.

i like the word transneutral for myself. but i don’t want to be transphobic, especially considering how pretty much all of my closest friends are trans (actually trans, not whatever the hell i have going on. if you can even call me trans in the first place).

i’ve asked trans people online if i could consider myself trans and they said yes. but that was only three people. i’d like more opinions on what words might help me feel more seen. because i’ve been feeling rather lonely lately

[jogiis]

hiiiiii (drops this here

[uraniumeater5000]

Gonna talk with my therapist about how I see being ignored/people not reacting to things I want input on as being unloved. I see it as a negative thing and I should talk to my therapist about that.

Sorry if this isn't coherent

[kattozilla-blog]

YES THIS SONG IS THE ONLY THING ON MY MIND RIGHT NOW

sort of vent art, i dunno,, yeah

not my best work <//3 could've rendered it better

THIS FUCKING SONG,,AGAIN., FUCK OFF ,,, WAAAAAAAAA

[cyrilrambleswhatasurprise]

like the thing is,, kattoverse heat man is just so radically different than most people's version of him that i feel really insecure that i've mutilated his character and sometimes i feel like bringing back his 2021 characterization of mine

but the other thing is that i'm WAYYY TOO ATTACHED to him now, like this is HIM to me even if he's very ooc and basically a different dude

he's really insecure yet energetic and chaotic yet exhausted all the time yet very kind and considerate yet too touchy-feely yet too depressed and self-loathing yet too cringe yet surprisingly flirty and suave AND THAT'S HEAT MAN TO ME

he's supposed to be stoic, or bitchy, or smug, or menacing, that's what everyone else's is, and mine is some of that occasionally, but. he's just. not that, he's someone new

and idk.... is that a good thing? i genuinely can't tell

[thepuffinoverlord]

okay this is half me venting and half me asking for advice here:

so I have my first appointment with a rheumatologist soon and I am actually so scared about it. I'm only 18, female presenting, and have anxiety and depression marked in my file so I'm afraid I won't be taken seriously (because young people obviously can't have joint problems /s). I've been putting off seeing a doctor for so long but now I'm so afraid they'll just tell me to lose weight or be more active and not actually help me.

here's the part where I ask for advice. I have joint pain, overly flexible joints (double jointedness) that feel unstable/wobbly, and joints that crack and make grinding sounds. very relevant to a rheumatologist, right? but I also have muscle pain around my joints, fatigue, and dizziness and heart pounding when I stand. I think the two groups of symptoms might be related but can I bring them up to a rheumatologist since they're not exactly joint related? also, I'm pretty sure I have some sort of hyper mobility disorder or something. should I tell the doctor what I think is going on or will they brush me off and stop considering that altogether?

if it's not clear, I live in america where getting appointments is basically impossible. I would really really like to not have the "idk, lose weight/take advil and come back if it doesn't get better" because that will be another whole year of not having healthcare and not solving the problem.

[a-land-of-shadow-and-substance]

I can't believe that music loops from Tiana's Bayou Adventure are already plentifully available, yet I had to physically go and record a loop from a ride that's been open since 2017 to prove that the soundtrack even existed

[pmpknsoup]

im not a super emotional person, when it comes to my personal life, so this is new for me.

my father left my family when i was 14 due to his alcoholism. he always said he'd kick it, but he never put in the work. i guess it never really hurt me when he left, because i was just expecting it. but im sitting on the bus, and theres an ad for and alcoholic recovery group on the wall—and the tagline on it, is a father holding his two daughters, saying "i did it for my girls" and i cant help but be. angry. and sad. i guess.

sorry for a bit over sharing, but i dont know who to talk to this about, haha

[lilywalkers]

the worst thing is knowing how to fix things but it taking more than just my efforts to be better

[forestlovesyou]

might be kinning Tohya but in a trans allegory way like

"Someone died in me who isn't me and sometimes i feel like it's a 'her or me' situation where i'm scared for my own right to exist, but other times i feel like she's the ghost of a poor girl who deserves to be comforted and put to rest"

[englandsgirl18181234]

Please, please, please send me asks about my AU's, I'm driving myself insane here!

I'm gonna be really bluntly honest here, so sorry about that. And I'm sorry I keep begging for asks, too.

The last few days have sucked. Really bad. For like, All Of Us, I'm pretty sure.

The world is on fire, I'm fairly certain I'm getting sick, my chronic pain is flaring really badly because of the weather, to the point that I'm basically bed bound atm, I'm bored out of my skull, and I can't even watch my comfort series because of the Tiktok ban.

Tldr: please talk to me, I'm really bored!

[caution-may-bite]

Probably dumb of me but with the closing of the vent app my mutuals have been posting their socials to follow elsewhere. I always hesitate, especially if I don't often speak, just usually react to show that I read through their posts. I wonder if it is also an invitation to me to follow or if it's directed to someone closer. While I am a mutual of theirs, what if they forgot I existed? Or what if it's annoying for me to try and follow them elsewhere or try and start a conversation. I don't know how to be human and interact. I have to be specifically invited. Like how you have to invite a vampire into your home. Anyways, if you read this and you ever felt interested in talking to me just know I probably want to speak with you too and am just too nervous to start anything.

[theflowersandthebeees]

being best friends with Strummer is nice because I'll be like 'wow I feel like crap. The best food I can make is this shitty rice'

and then he comes into front and goes 'hey dude, you made food! thank you so much, we haven't eaten much today. Mind if I hang out while we eat it?'

and then we eat it, and the whole time he's complimenting it...

[sinceyousawvienna]

not a hero not a power boost not a savior not an idolic figure not a saint not a revolutionary not anything special just a person

[scrybe-of-death]

dude my grandma told me i was depressed (i am actually not depressed right now! im pretty happy and have been pretty happy ever since winter ended!)

because i wanted 1. ONE day to myself and my room after like 5 consecutive days of hanging out around a ton of people without rest. What the Fuck is Wrong with You??????