#source: What We Do in the Shadows

[incorrecttwsted]

[gay-dorito-dust]

You: *about bob* he’s my best friend, he’s my pal, he’s my homeboy, my rotten soldier, my sweet cheese, my good time boy!

John: do you ever talk about anyone besides Bob?

You: I would talk about you, though only if you did anything noteworthy, so I just shit talk you behind your back.

John: fair enough. Doesn’t change the fact that I know you like Bob.

You: *shrugs as you smile sadly* whether or not he wants me in that way is his choice to make, so I’ll gladly have him in my life however I can, friend or otherwise.

John: one day *he claps your shoulder in a brotherly manner*

You: one day.

[incorrectphineasandferbquotes]

Monogram: Carl, close the door

Carl: It's already closed, sir

Monogram: Close it more

Carl:

Carl: [opens door then shuts it again]

[incorrectringsofpower]

Gil-galad: I can’t even SPEAK the name of the person who organized that MONSTROSITY…

Elrond: I don’t give a fuck. Her name was Galadriel.

Gil-galad: FUCKING GALADRIEL!

[vigsilantes]

[Adrian said something cute about Y/N]

Y/N: Awww, babe, you’re such a sweetheart, you’ve gone so soft, my sweet syrup pie.

Adrian: No, my sweet syrup pie, I’ve gone hard!

Y/N: Ooohoh have you now?

[Adrian wiggles his brows]

Chris, from across the room: You guys are gross.

[incorrectquotesmcu]

Rio: Yeah, some of my clothes are from my enemies.

Rio: You may kill some bastard and then go “Ooh those are some nice pants!”

[vivianthepigeon]

Poppy: “I can’t even SPEAK the name of the troll that organized that MONSTROSITY”

Branch: “I don’t give a fuck. His name was creek.”

Poppy: “FUCKING CREEK”

[teenwolfpackincorrectcaptions]

Stiles: Get your hand off my husband's ample but firm backside. Derek: Thank you, darling.

[incorrect-bridgerton-family]

Simon: I’d like to finish off by saying that I think ALL marriage is a sham!

Simon: Apart from my own marriage to my charming wife, Daphne, right over there.

Daphne: [proudly points to herself]

[icepack-for-steve]

Annabel: I mean who isn’t gay?

Will: A lot of people…

Annabel: Oh okay, woo hoo, I’ll get the trumpets out, sorry…

[she-posts-nerdy-stuff]

Inej: You’re running away from your feelings

Kaz: So? I hate my feelings!

[lesbicosmos]

crystal: *cough* i told you so

edwin: *cough cough* you fucking didn't

[starlightshadowsworld]

Beast Dazai training Beast Atsushi

Beast Dazai: It would appear the boy has no interest in larceny, vandalism and obviously he’s too young for whoring.

Beast Dazai: So to keep this excursion from being a total waste of time I threw him in this dumpster.

Beast Dazai: And told him he wasn’t allowed out until he killed 6 rats.

[definitelyincorrect]

Peter: Are we almost there?

Stephen: Screw this, I’m portaling. Who’s with me? -portals away-

Tony: He doesn’t have the address so…

Stephen: -portals back- I don’t have the address.

[roseofithaca]

Robin, apparently:

[incorrectquotesmcu]

Monica: I’m just… having trouble making guy friends. My social skills aren’t great.

Darcy: Nonsense, we can practice. All right, I’m a stupid human man.

Darcy: “Oof, ouch my balls. I like to drink beer.”

Darcy: Okay, got it? Monica, befriend me.