#the thing is I refuse to fail

[lang-learner]

💻🏦 study session ~ corporate finance & accounting

[langdonmelism]

stressed out 4th year victoria javadi cramming for a final that she Can't Quite Figure Out. it's the night before her last exam before she's free from academia but nothing's going her way so as a last ditch effort she gathers her books and finds herself in the hospital (with a silent break room and none of the coworkers from her old ed rotation). obviously given her luck the night shift attending swings by for an extra straw for his coffee (since he obviously chewed through the paper one). the er is q**** enough that he hangs back to see what's making her so nervous and see if there's anything he can do only to find victoria aggressively scribbling with a green highlighter.

anyways point being. shen finds it hilarious and adorable that she's being bested by her own handwriting so he takes a look at her textbook and starts explaining it like it's easy as breathing.

[tanadrin]

One thing I notice about the Supreme Court with their church of "The President Can Do Whatever He Wants Unless It Directly Inconveniences Me, A Conservative Jurist On The Supreme Court" ("separation of powers") is that they completely ignore the phrase "Checks and Balances" that was the whole goddamned point of "Separation of Powers".

Related to other ask, but I'm basically at the point where "Originalism", if it has any meaning whatsoever, means that it is constitutionally permissible to laugh in John Roberts face anytime he opens his mouth.

yeah i mean the idea the supreme court is anything other than a blatantly partisan institution at this point is laughable--congress knows it, the white house knows it, circuit judges know it. probably the only people who haven't caught up are the staff of the new york times. the trouble is a lot of democratic politicians are acting like the supreme court has an army to back up its decisions, when they should be laying the ground work for fighting a constitutional crisis (one the US is already in!) when they regain the legislature and/or the presidency.

[slayerdurge]

kinda in love with the fact that if connor deviates, hank will hit him with the quiet and reserved "maybe there's something to this. maybe you really are alive." whereas if connor remains a machine, hank becomes incredibly vocal and outspoken about the humanity of androids. literally like...

hank: i can't be certain but sometimes i've wondered if androids are actually alive... connor: we're not hank: okay first of all FUCK YOU connor: ??? hank: AND i'm fighting for android rights now!

[fumifooms]

What if we were both magic prodigies and it otherized us in different ways and we devoted ourselves to protecting a family member who has general other goals & priorities. What if we both did self-sacrifical devotion in opposite ways.

What if we were dark mirrors of each other and where I've grown overcontrolling you've grown complacent. What if, bought as a servant into a pretty loving home, ownership and control is what love looks like to me, and to you neglected and lonely growing up, love is gratefully taking any scraps of it you���re lent.

By belonging to someone, even if she comes back injured or fails at finding Delgal, she feels like she belongs and is cherished, by owning someone he feels safe in them not leaving him.

She’s what’s tethering him do you see… And he’s the only thing giving her direction and purpose in her state. She needs a compass and he needs a support.

They’re both so out of it 😭 It’s the weirdly intense and unearned mutual trust and reliance on each other?? They’re each other’s weird little comfort codependent teddy bear. Or at least they were headed towards that before SHE DIED THEN HE DIED THEN THEY BOTH FORGOT ABOUT EACH OTHER AND NEVER MET EVER AGAIN. Though she’s also the guard attack hound keeping him safe… And vice versa he heals her and can rewrite her very being with just one wave of his hand. They’re both so so mentally and physically vulnerable both but they cling onto each other. They can’t perceive things accurately but despite it all someway somehow they stumble into something closer to resembling companionship just before they both die. Falin is just that kind and Thistle is just that lonely. Overworked.

We both haven’t lived for ourselves in a very long time, haven’t we.

They both have a similar devotion to the people they love but again the difference is that Thistle starts overtsepping while Falin is self-effacing. The other difference between them is that people care about Falin <3 People have given up on Thistle long ago, and he has given people reasons to, while people refuse to give up on Falin. Yaad has a mini arc about it dw about it it’s ok he’s not all alone in the end 😭😭 He reached out for Marcille’s hand but they already all wanted to help him, they just had to be given the chance to, Yaad just had to be given the chance to, it’s okay I’m okay

Hey what if we learned to get in touch with our own identity and the world around us and living in the present again through being in the worst codependent situationship ever.

Falin and Thistle sitting in a tree, sucking on flowers together because they’re h-u-n-g-r-y 💕💕💕

I bet he’s only ever thought of flowers as useless ornaments. Weak weeds. But she shows him they’re tasty and useful and good and pretty in their own right too and deserve existing without proving their worth and waaa <33 Thistles…... Did you know thistles taste sweet if you remove the thorns and eat them?

"Even as a chimera, her kind nature remains" you can’t suppress her in the way that matters. You can’t soothe him in the way that matters. It’s doomed. You’re doomed. It’s all doomed. Save me.

[goldensunset]

the void was hungry i guess

[bbygirl-aemond]

rhaenyra was so wrong for looking alicent hightower, ALICENT HIGHTOWER, in the face and telling her "still you imagine you can have all you want"

i mean it definitely makes sense from rhaenyra's standpoint though. i took it to be referring to the time that alicent married viserys and still wanted to keep her friendship with rhaenyra as it had been before. obviously, we as the audience know that alicent didn't choose to marry viserys, but rhaenyra was a grieving teenager and it was easier to focus her betrayal towards alicent than towards her own father. this is even more true now, since rhaenyra is clinging to this idea that viserys was right to choose her and anything that undermines viserys's goodness also undermines that idea. (alicent very much also whitewashes viserys, which i've already talked about here.)

right now, alicent is futilely trying to find a way that she can have her cake and eat it too, based on the current situation. she wants to keep aegon alive, while also sparing helaena and jaehaera and herself and the realm future losses. but these things are only proxies for her true desires, which have been battling one another since season one.

from the beginning, alicent has wanted her suffering to have meant something, symbolized by putting aegon (the literal fruit of her suffering) on the throne; she wants the reward within the patriarchal system for what she has endured. simultaneously, she wishes to find actual happiness and freedom, symbolized by her younger self before the suffering took place (her childhood friendship with rhaenyra, her childhood freedom, even helaena is a proxy for alicent's younger self). this is the larger message about the patriarchy that hotd is telling; no amount of working within the system for whatever reward it grants you will actually be fulfilling to you. you cannot gain the freedom and happiness you desire while still perpetuating the system, because the system itself is what takes this from you. alicent's choice here is a daughter over a son, but it is also her happiness over the patriarchal system she's always been trapped within. and rhaenyra is right that she can't have both.

[starcurtain]

Some Speculation on Kaveh’s Father

I actually started this post right after the Parade of Providence event last year, but never got around to finishing it. However, in light of Kaveh still not appearing on a banner, I decided to dust this one off and get it finished, so that I’d have at least a little Kaveh content in my life after being so cruelly denied by Hoyo.

So, without further ado, some stuff about Kaveh’s father I did not see discussed elsewhere but which I think is especially interesting.

1) Kaveh’s father likely first became depressed/disillusioned with humanity after witnessing (or possibly being the victim of) a murder attempt.

Without knowing the full situation and reading all the additional text from the Parade of Providence event, I feel like this might have been easily missed, but the entire “Kaveh’s dad became disillusioned and depressed and retreated to the desert to help people” seems--at first--like it came out of nowhere. He had a lovely family, was the pride of his darshan, and was eager and excited to win the crown to bring it home to his son. Yet theoretically, he did not win the crown (and, in fact, the crown was stolen before the last event and may not have been there during the Avidya Forest fight, so when, as the non-winner, would Kaveh’s father have come into contact with it to encounter Sachin through it in the first place?) Why would Kaveh’s father’s personality take such a massive turn all the sudden? What would drive an excited, happy person to suddenly withdraw from everything he loved and everyone who loved him, if he didn’t actually win the diadem to be influenced by it in the first place?

The event implies there was a trigger:

Huvishka’s friend (who is described as “honest and kind but vulnerable and sensitive”--obviously Kaveh’s father) went into the Avidya Forest with the other contestants, where no one was watching, and we’re not told what happened except that the Akademiya responded to whatever occurred by shutting down the entire competition and banning any sort of events in the future that cause contestants to become so desperate they would “fight to the death.” 

This is a pretty obvious implication that Kaveh’s father either witnessed two other contestants attempt to kill each other or was the victim of an attempted murder himself, which prevented him from winning the competition even though he was the favorite to win by a long-shot. This feat of betrayal, demonstrating the depths to which humanity would sink, likely shook the idealistic world views of a sensitive person such as Kaveh’s father. This brush with death and with humanity’s capacity for evil in the forest would have been the exact trigger needed to make Kaveh’s father particularly vulnerable to Sachin’s message of nihility and despair, leading to the downward spiral that sent Kaveh’s father into the desert.

- 

2) Sachin may have way more culpability for Kaveh’s father’s death than Kaveh realizes. 

For a while after the event, I was under the impression that Kaveh’s father must have met Sachin’s consciousness through the diadem and that’s where he got the idea to go into the desert. However, something was always a bit odd about the timeline, because...

Sachin was still alive when he gave the Akademiya his estate. This is why no one actually knew/believed he was fully dead, even to the present--because he willed the Akademiya the estate while he was alive and told them he was going to be personally watching over the contestants to award his estate to them if he deemed them worthy successors to himself. 

So did Kaveh’s father run into a fragment of Sachin’s consciousness... or did he run into Sachin himself? The game doesn’t really clarify:

The fact that Sachin’s recording recognized Kaveh’s appearance as familiar makes me think it is much more likely that the consciousness preserved in the diadem already had knowledge of Kaveh’s father at the time it was preserved. Aka, Sachin actually met Kaveh’s father in person. This also makes sense of why, even though the diadem was stolen away during the last event and Kaveh’s father did not win it, he would still know about Sachin and Sachin’s research. (However, as a counterpoint, I guess we could say that the Diadem!Sachin had enough sentience to maybe have its own memory, separate from the real Sachin? And reached out to Kaveh’s father mentally even though he didn’t win the diadem? Maybe?)

Still, there’s one really notable aspect of the timeline that I think is important: Right after the Interdarshan Competition twenty years ago, the one which Kaveh’s father competed in, we know that Sachin went back out to the desert. 

Who else went out to the desert exactly 20 years ago? Kaveh’s father, obviously.

This overlap in the timelines makes it seem very likely that Kaveh’s father, who failed to win the competition because of a murder attempt (and therefore never got the diadem), was nevertheless reached out to by the real Sachin, who saw in Kaveh’s father the kindred disillusioned idealist he was looking for to pass his research torch onto. From this connection, Kaveh’s father was driven to either directly accompany or at least pursue the still living Sachin into the desert. (This works even if we say it was only Sachin’s consciousness he was contacted by--in either case, he would have been driven go to out to the desert to meet the real, temporarily still living Sachin to join his quest to help the desert people.)

Only for Kaveh’s father to meet his end there while trying to aid a caravan that had fallen into trouble. What a tragic coincidence, a completely unpredictable twist of fate.

Or... was it?

How odd, in the same quest that Kaveh’s father’s connection to Sachin is discussed, that we’re given an account of a caravan that appears to have been deliberately sabotaged, where money was taken (from Sachin) and somehow sparked a betrayal, a “trial of human nature” that caused many people to die, with the takeaway being the exact belief Sachin wants to pass on and reinforce in others, that humans are horrific creatures who can only make the world a worse and worse place. 

We know that Sachin’s “research” specifically consisted of doing this exact thing, manipulating situations to test humans’ moral character, conducting trials/experiments on “human nature” to reinforce his belief that humans were fundamentally selfish beings.

(It’s no accident the merchant ledger we receive uses the exact same words as Sachin does, “trial of human nature” and “experiments on human nature.” We’re supposed to assume what happened to the caravan in the note was deliberate sabotage on Sachin’s part, to create a scenario where he could observe the cruelties of humanity.)

Why would the game go out of its way to give us an account of a caravan being deliberately sabotaged and used as an experiment if there was no connection at all between what happened with this caravan and what happened to Kaveh’s father, who was also killed helping a floundering caravan?

It’s just too much of a coincidence to accidental. I think the implications of the ledger Dori gave us and the similarities in the language on that ledger to Sachin’s ideas was supposed to lead the audience to wonder:

Could Kaveh’s father have died in one of Sachin’s final “human nature experiments”? 

Was the caravan Kaveh’s father tried to help one that Sachin deliberately sabotaged, expecting to observe humanity’s selfish, self-preserving nature?

I think there’s enough evidence in the story to suggest that we players are at least supposed to consider this a possibility. (There’s no reason to give us the ledger about the manipulated caravan otherwise.) And if you consider this a possibility, it would mean that Sachin didn’t just indirectly cause Kaveh’s father’s death--he would be the direct cause of Kaveh’s father’s death, an actual murder brought about by Sachin’s beliefs that humanity’s self-centered nature made everyone beyond saving.

This idea transforms Kaveh’s father’s sacrifice into the ultimate rejection of Sachin’s beliefs. This would mean that, even in a situation manipulated to bring out the worst in human beings on purpose, Kaveh’s father gave everything to protect the lives of others, for no gain at all of his own, doing everything he could just to desperately try to make the situation (the world) better.

SO yeah. I’m not saying we have hard evidence here, but I think the quest was trying to lead players to speculate very, very hard on the possibility that Kaveh’s father’s death was no accident.

-

3) Finally, a cuter piece of speculation to brighten things up after that despair bomb I just dropped: it’s highly likely that Kaveh’s father had more than one Aranara buddy!

During the Parade of Providence, we hear about an Aranara who learned to read from Kaveh’s father:

However, this is a bit confusing, because later in the event, we hear someone else say that Kaveh’s father taught an Aranara to write specifically when he was a child:

While of course it is possible that Kaveh’s father taught the first Aranara, Arakasyapa, to both read and write, I think there’s also another possible answer here about why Kaveh’s father would separately mention teaching an Aranara to write:

Because there is an entirely different Aranara in the story which was taught to write by a “good Nara” who was a child--Arashakun, from the quest “Courage is the Heart.”

In this sweet little world quest, the Traveler discovers a flower talisman that has been snatched by some hilichurls, and seeks to return it to its rightful owner, a timid and shy Aranara named Arashakun. 

We learn that Arashakun once had a kind-hearted “good Nara” companion who taught him to write (sound familiar?), and who, in order to encourage the poor Aranara, gave him a single flower dubbed “courage.” In describing this child companion, Arashakun specifically states that his companion was no strong warrior like the Traveler’s twin, but instead a gentle, comforting presence who never teased the Aranara.

All of these descriptions line up particularly well with Kaveh’s father, who the game repeatedly describes as vulnerable, kind-hearted, and giving to others.

To drive home the possible connections to Kaveh’s family even further, this quest takes place very, very near to the Palace of Alkazarzaray. 

Although we don’t have any guarantee, I think it is strongly implied that the “good Nara” mentioned by Arashakun is indeed Kaveh’s father, and the “courage of the heart” that he extended to Arashakun as a child is the very same courage, kindness, and generosity that drove him to reach out to the people of the desert, hoping to make a difference in their lives--even at the cost of his own.

The takeaway? Kaveh’s father was a truly good person who aided everyone he came across, from timid Aranara to people whose very lives were in danger. He never meant to leave his family, and especially not his son, but repeatedly fell afoul of the worst humanity had to offer and was driven into a situation in which all he could do was offer his very life to uphold the altruism that was central to his idealism--the same idealism and goodness that Kaveh carries as “courage” in his own heart.

[ajastu]

Ok but i want to kind of talk abt what led me to thinking of that last art right. this isn't gona be like, a proper analysis or whatever, just something i've been thinking about for a while that i want to finally word properly. But.

I love Davrin so much. And i love how layered his character is. Like, the man cares. So much. He has a lot of love in his heart. He also tries to pretend so hard that everything he does is out of practicality n not because he Cares So Much.

When you first meet him, he already clearly has a trusting relationship established with Assan. He says he's 'just the bodyguard', but Assan runs up to him immediately when called and nuzzles into him. He already listens to him! Maybe not 100%, but he does. He trusts Davrin. Not to mention the fact that he named the little guy.

Also the griffon nest you can find that is just FULL of mostly nug carvings that Davrin made.

But it's not just Assan. He calls out some of the other griffons by name and takes the time to reassure them when you find them locked in the cages. You will not convince me that he wasn't the equivalent of the Cool Uncle to them. When they get taken, his reaction is not that of someone who is 'just the bodyguard'. It's a reaction of someone who Cares.

He doesn't let himself really acknowledge it, though, because of the whole warden thing. He has convinced himself that he is, first and foremost, a man with a Duty and an expiration date.

The problem is. He fails step one pretty much IMMEDIATELY. He's just in denial about it.

And like, he doesn't really like talking about his feelings openly. He either deflects or avoids it until someone nudges him enough to talk about it. After Weisshaupt, he's, understandably, not doing too well. He lashes out at Lucanis during the table talk, and later you find him back in his room, working silently. He doesn't even reply to Rook at fist when they speak to him.

And then when he does, the floodgates open. This is a pivotal point, i think, in his character development. He's lost, he doesn't know what comes next. He fully did not expect to Be There. He built himself up to this Big Sacrifice, and when it doesn't work out like he thought it would, it gives him a Crisis. Rook points out to him that hey, he DOES still have a purpose. It's just different than "die fighting darkspawn". It's a purpose he has to actually let himself Live for. I feel like this is the point when he lets himself open up to the idea that he might just be more than a simple bodyguard to Assan.

And it genuinely helps him. He even admits that Lucanis did a good job at Weisshaupt. I'm pointing this bit out because, like...I think it shows his complicated relationship with letting himself Feel Things.

I don't know if i'm making sense rn, i just. Love him a lot.

There's a lot more to talk about, but this post is already long, so I'll jump to the end. If you romance him, in the pre-tearstone cutscene, you find him Chopping Wood. Classic sign that Davrin Is Having A Lot Of Feelings He Doesn't Know How To Process.

However, this time he's more open about it, seeing as he...pretty much immediately tells Rook what it's all about.

If you decide to joke with him about it, he immediately goes This Is For Real. I'm Being Serious. He actually wants to talk about it, even if he didn't plan to, at first. He doesn't deflect this time.

also, a brief aside, i fucking love the laugh he does if Rook commits to being a clown about it. He sounds like he's questioning why THIS clown, of all people, is the one he fell for.

and also, i love the...inside jokes forming in their relationship. First its the hunting metaphors while flirting, then its 'u gonna chop more wood?'. Genuinely adore that

ANYWAY back to it.

He's been opening up!! He's letting himself get attached!! It's the worst time for it, because they could very easily Die, but at least they talk about it.

And once Rook is back from the prison, they don't really talk about the time they were missing. The final romance scene feels a bit silly at first with the magic trick n all, but I think it makes a lot of sense.

His voice cracks just a bit when he says ''you're back''. If you choose the dialogue option where Rook is shaken or the 'am i back?' option, he's firmly reassuring to them.

also this. 🥺

From how the dialogues go, it really seems like...I don't want to say Davrin is avoiding talking about the Possible Bad Scenario. It feels more like he refuses to dwell on it, or to let Rook dwell on it.

He acknowledges it, but also, Rook is back.

Again, Davrin has a lot of love in his heart. He is also a man of action and conviction. If he decides to commit to something, he does so with no reservations.

ALL THAT IS TO SAY. I think he would be having a very bad time while Rook is missing, but i also think he would do everything in his power not to let it show. If he breaks down about it, it would be in private, and only because he literally cannot hold it back anymore. He would find Assan in their room and it would become the Last Straw at some point. You know?

He doesn't talk about missing Rook. Instead, he talks about Assan missing them. Which isn't necessarily a lie, but it also sounds like...a roundabout admission. A way to talk about it without talking about it. I know this dialogue abt Assan happens regardless of whether or not you romance him, but here i'm talking about the romance route specifically, so.

But it's not because he doesn't want to admit he cares, not anymore.

It's because he refuses to dwell on it.

TLDR i don't know how coherent this post ended up being, but my point is, DAVRIN IS THE MAN OF ALL TIME. He sings to animals in his care. Hes writing a monster manual while carving each creature he plans on talking about. He also carves sososo many nugs. He has beef with an author who's been dead for ages. He has a complicated relationship with his feelings, but commits to them fully once he lets himself admit them. He cares. He has a lot of love in his heart. And i love him so so so fucking much.

[thatimageoftomscott]

LMAO.

[thewhizzyhead]

also like I've listened and watched the I am the one scenes and their reprises and like here is my thing: dan goodman though flawed is clearly a father who tries and yet has his frustrations and exhaustions in doing so. How is that a 2008 musical got this Emotionally Struggling But Trying Father archetype right than its supposed spiritual successor in 2017-

[sleepboysummer]

can not wait for the general hype of squid game s3 to die down and leave only people who genuinely want to think about the themes and messaging and actually try to analyze characters instead of rank them based on who is the most badass or most morally perfect

[templeofvengeance]

[I keep forgetting that M.oon Knight technically does have one jumpscare in it. I guess because I never found Khonshu all that scary-looking, so his big ol' bird face suddenly showing up right at the camera with a huge musical sting didn't phase me much. Fascinating.]

[midnightsartcorner]

i un-uniqued my fairy designs for laughs

[kiralamouse]

SecUnit Needs A Correction

NYT Mini Crossword clue: Captcha, for "Completely Automated Public Turing test to tell Computers and Humans Apart"

Seven letters, starts with "A".

MURDERBOT, I KNEW THIS BEFORE YOU MIXED ME UP.

[beatcroc]

i do miss the overwatch era bc that was the last time anyone on this gay ass website played competitive games