#there are bad things and i can look at them and allow myself to feel stuff about them without feeling guiltyyyy

[ao3commentoftheday]

I have two questions about bookmarking. I bookmark often, both works that I liked and want to revisit AND those that I didn't but the summary / beginning look very intresting so I started reading them multiple times.

I always put them on private because I always put little comments in the notes and I don't feel like authors should now that I consider their fic to have a bad grammar or that I remember it as "the fic with a cat". So the private bookmark it is. But with private bookmarks I can't really share them with anyone and they don't count in the stats that users see :<

Now the questions are:

1) is there a way to somehow copy the bookmarks to another account so that I can have them public and without notes? I think it's doable since I heard that it's possible to download all the bookmarks and I think I'd be able to write code that puts them all into another account but I wonder if someone already did this

2) and another thing, is it possible to make a collection out of private bookmarks so it's only for myself ? I don't want to risk them (the bookmarks) getting unprivated to check / I worry I won't notice that they are visible...

For the first question, I'll leave that to the coders out there. I know that you can export any works page (including your bookmarks) to a .csv file, you can use this bookmarklet by Flamebyrd.

Flamebyrd also has one that exports AO3 bookmarks to a Pinboard, if that sounds good to you?

As for the second question, yes you can definitely put AO3 bookmarks into collections! I wish more people knew about this because a lot of users try to collect the works themselves and get disappointed when the author doesn't allow it. Collecting bookmarks really is the better way to go about it.

In the bookmark form, right above where you check the box to make the bookmark private, there's a text entry section where you can type the name of your Collection. Create the collection first, and it will appear in the dropdown when you start typing. It might take a few hours to show up, though, due to Archive cache-ing.

[equestria-cross-mod]

Very long vent/rant below the break (yes, another one). Also, go read Twin Runes, it's really good. Also also, bully me into reading the entire thing, because for some reason I can't seem to sit down and do that on my own.

And to clarify, this whole thing is directed at the anon who asked the question, not the person who answered the ask.

I was just scrolling through this blog since I enjoy the comic (though I really need to read the whole thing) and came across this post. If you know me, you know that I really don't like letting injustice stand without me saying or doing something, so here we go. Prepare for heavily restrained anger.

Akanemnon have stated that how people see them doesn't matter as much as how they make others feel. And they want them to feel positively. I can tell they're incredibly kind because of that.

I also empathize with them about this in particular, considering that, while I'm not popular, I do still struggle immensely with being social just in general. Especially publicly.

Now, here's the thing. I have a different approach to this sort of harassment they're experiencing here, which I've stated above. While I'm not as aware of the unspoken social rules that neurotypicals have, primarily because I'm autistic (among other things), some of the rules I do know are ones I don't agree with.

Now, to my point.

Anon? I didn't see the post being referenced here, but I don't think I need to. You're being ten times worse, anyhow. What you're doing is known as "guilt-tripping", and it's something I take huge issue with. You're also assuming the worst here, which tends to make you look like (excuse my language but I can't think of a better word) an asshole.

I know you'll never see this, and you know what? Fine. That's not why I'm writing this.

I'm writing this because I'm sick of people trying to make genuinely innocent people look bad. One mistake doesn't make you a bad person. Not even many. That probably just means you're stubborn or something, but not necessarily bad. Intentional and repetitive bad decisions make you a bad person.

That's what you're doing here, Anon. They made a mistake, and you decided to make them feel bad about it because you felt offended over something they said because they were stressed out.

If you were stressed out and said something dumb, I'll admit, I'd probably be a little offended too. That's not the problem. The fact that you acted on it in this way is the problem.

Everyone gets angry sometimes. Everyone can occasionally be unprofessional. But what you did was worse, because not only were you also unprofessional, but you did it intentionally. And that is unacceptable.

So many people on the internet just like you need to watch what you say, for various reasons, and to be considerate of other people. It doesn't matter if you can't be traced, those words still affect not only the people you direct them to, but also everyone else that sees them. I know that because I was affected.

And if people figured out it was you, which I don't think is entirely unheard of, they will treat you the same way. 95% guarantee.

Treat people how you want to be treated.

In this case, I'm trying to be as nice as my rage allows me to be while calling you out for being rude. As such, I also want people to tell me when I say something wrong or bad so I can correct myself, preferably in a manner that doesn't trigger bad memories to return to my mind and make me feel awful.

If your purpose was simply to ask for an apology, or to let them know that you were uncomfortable, then you need to learn to not insult them or make unreasonable assumptions in the process. You were lucky this time, but many people would've just ignored you. Telling you this from experience.

And if you do see this, just know that I do genuinely hope you learn how to address problems in your life better than this. Both minor and major. Despite how much I hate bad people (which I only think you're slightly bad since this is only one bad decision), I do want everyone to improve and become better people, no matter who they are. I often don't expect it though, considering... well, a lot of things. But I'm hoping this is a one-time thing for you.

Be better. Always strive to be better. Improve continuously, little by little. And if you don't know where or how to start or continue improving, ask someone you trust how you could do so.

Please add a trigger warning next time you threaten in your posts. I already feel you don't like neurodivergent individuals with the way you react to asks but that really unprofessional.

As a neurodivergent person myself, I apologize if that is how I came across. That was FAR from how I want to make anyone feel. Because it is simply not the case.

The threat was something I thought to be a throwaway line that I unfortunately did not think too deeply about in the moment of writing it. It was too far, and I recognize and do apologize for that. It came from a place of legit frustration as it feels like whatever I am trying to state is not paid attention to.

It is overwhelming, and I can not claim in any way that I am actually good at being a public person. I have stated before that having so many eyes on me is terrifying, as it causes me severe anxiety at times.

This position was handed to me by a weird twist of fate. And more often than not I question if I really even want it.

What I do want is to tell a story. One that gives people hope and makes them feel better. No matter who they are and what they might struggle with. I do want to be a good and supportive person. To ANYONE.

Again. I sincerely apologize for my harsh words. I do not wish to make anyone feel like I hate them or hold a grudge against them.

My frustrations got the better of me, and I should have acted accordingly.

[strang3lov3]

sorry if this is extremely personal or just random, but does decent sex actually exist? 5 1/2 years into my relationship with my bf, and i’m almost convinced i’m ace bc i genuinely don’t get turned on by him

There’s so much that goes into arousal. I recommend reading Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski because she breaks it down in such an interesting way that’s easy to understand, and that might be a good starting point if you’re hoping to learn more about yourself and your own arousal ❤️

Good, pleasurable sex does exist, but it takes work. 9/10 times I have sex it’s a good time. That one time that it’s a dud is usually just a bad day or whatever, because shit does happen, and even partners with a great sexual connection will have not so great sexual encounters from time to time. It’s life.

I wasn’t always having the best sex though, and I think that can be attributed to my vaginismus which in turn became a severe fear/disinterest in sex altogether, pretty much until I started experimenting with weed + sex and also writing, which helped me learn more about what turns me on.

I had this intense fear and disinterest in PIV sex, right? I’m a stubborn person, too. It’s not a good attitude to have and I’m glad it changed, but I kinda felt like “if I’m not having PIV sex then I’m not interested in pleasure at all bc what’s the point if I’m not cumming on dick and also I don’t even want PIV sex bc it hurts so I just don’t wanna do anything.”

What changed this was forcing a shift in my attitude about what pleasure and arousal means to me. I learned that I really liked to be teased, and to have that steady build up. I loved getting high before sex too because it helped me let go of my anxiety surrounding it. I also learned to stop looking at penetrative sex ending with an orgasm for the both of us as the be all end all, and to just allow myself to lean into whatever feels good. Take the pressure off yourself, so to speak. All of my best artwork was created in sketchbooks, and the things I was unhappiest with were created on canvas. Does this make sense? Lean into the little things, take pleasure where you can get it.

I don’t know if any of this is helpful 🫂 I hope it is. Before I started taking a more proactive approach toward my pleasure, I had similar thoughts as you. Maybe I’m asexual because I’m just not fucking turned on and I don’t get it because this man is handsome and I love him and I’m safe with him but I don’t wanna jump his bones.

Wasn’t asexual. Wasn’t unattracted to my partner. Spontaneous arousal is just hard for people a lot of the time, especially women. Sex doesn’t always happen like smut you read or the movies you watch, like for me, it’s rarely like “I’m so fucking horny for this person and I need to fuck right now”. There’s more that goes into it. Do you feel safe? Are your needs met? Do you feel relaxed? Are the fucking dishes done, is there something that needs taking care of? How’s your relationship with this person rn? Do you have good feelings toward them or bad? Emily Nagoski discusses all of this and more in her book, too. I think it’s a really good resource, and should at least serve as a jumping off point into finding the answer here.

[mo1arsnteeth]

some helpful tips regarding loass that help me ground myself

***

🪽 tip number one. never assume someone else has the secrets or tips regarding manifestation - know that you know exactly what to do

just as it says. don’t assume someone else has your answers, as this assumption too can potentially limit your trust in your ability to manifest. don’t go to tumblr, reddit, twt, etc. looking for answers- you must assume you know exactly what to do because you do. i can’t stress enough how there is no wrong way to manifest as long as you are persisting in your assumption.

🪽 tip number two. you mustn’t see time as your enemy

it might seem difficult, but just like everything else- you got this. time can’t hurt you, it can’t keep your manifestations from you, and it can’t be ”in the way” of your state. yesterday, today, tomorrow are all your ”now”. and now you assume you are and/or have it. time has never been in the way of truth, you don’t wait for something you know is true to become true. it’s instant as soon as you decide and remind yourself in every moment of wavering ”wait… i already have this why would i ever even doubt that?”

🪽 tip number three. methods don’t manifest, you do

it doesn’t matter which technique you use, the common denominator in all success stories are persistence - not methods. you will only find that a method works for you if you assume it does. but do you realize too that then the only thing it took was your assumption? exactly. this is not to say to ditch methods entirely, they can create a fun way to manifest and if you find them easily digestible you should ofc keep them going! but don’t go scouring the internet for a ”better” method. delete all assumptions method’s are your key to success, you are the key.

🪽 tip number four. allow the law to bring you good things

this i’ve struggled with. i used to be attached to multiple bad behaviors and emotional states that felt almost wrong to manifest away. i was a hoarder, which is a compulsion i for a long time before finding loa dreaded. i couldn’t find it in me to allow ease and space and a happier mood into my life because i was so attached to what had become a way of life despite haaating how it made me and my family feel. i now allow that ease, i don’t attach struggle and overcoming it to any sense of what i deserve. we all deserve ease, we deserve things that make us happy, we deserve to relax. allow your SP to love you, allow happiness to reach you, allow gentleness and respect from everyone you meet, allow money to come your way by just existing. you don’t wait for them to realize you deserve good things, they are waiting for you to allow them to give you good things.

🪽 final tip. have fun manifesting

it is to me so very vital to find manifestation fun. you can ofc manifest in any emotional state you are in, but why not have fun while doing it? do things you love as you persist in your belief, i’m guessing most of us don’t abandon the things we find fun even as we have manifested our dream life? you’re allowed to find it fun to persist.

now with all that said, take a breather, keep your head up high and stay grounded in your knowledge that nothing can stop your manifestations from revealing themselves to you! all the best dear 🩵🪽

[brown-little-robin]

made more sculptures, +25 HP

[bmpmp3]

drawring exercises

[2leggedshark]

I remain hopeful tho. I won't refuse to feel any negative feelings and I'm acknowledging why they happen but I'm not gonna spiral into doom about them👍

Because at the end of the day, there are so many good people and good things

[johndonneswife]

what they don’t tell you about instagram is that you’ll have 50 DMs to reply to, and after weeks of anxiously avoiding them you finally look and read and reply to everyone - and then people just start replying to you. AGAIN. immediately, even. and then you have 50 unread DMs again. so you anxiously avoid looking at them for weeks/months and then you finally bite the bullet and reply to people again…and they answer you within 5 minutes. again. and you just perpetually have 50 unread messages on instagram. and then at some point, you die.

[gor3sigil]

Before starting T, when I socially transitionned, I was surrounded by radical feminists who saw masculinity as gross and inherently evil, something to avoid, something to make fun of, something to destroy. The other transmascs in my friend group, sometimes, told me that they didn’t knew if they really were non-binary or if they just were scared shitless of saying “I am a man”. Because they saw this as a betrayal to their younger self who had been SAd and abused.

I saw many of my masc friends and trans men around me hate themselves, not outing themselves as men because it would imply so so much, it was like opening the Pandora Box. Even when we were just together, talking about our masculinity was always coated with bits like “I know we’re the privileged ones but…”, “I don’t want to sound like I have it bad but…”, “Women obviously have it worse, but last time…” and we were talking about terrible traumas we experienced while taking all the precautions in the world in the case the walls were a crowd of people in disguise waiting to get us if we didn’t downplay the violence we faced, or like crying and being upset and being traumatized and afraid and scared and to say it out loud would make us throw up the needles we were forced to swallow every second of every day living in our skin.

Most of us weren’t on T yet, some of us were catcalled every day and harassed in the streets or in abusive relationships nobody seemed to care to help them get out of because they were “strong enough” to do it by themselves.

I was using the gender swap face app and cried for ours when I saw my father looking back at me through the screen. The idea of transforming, of shedding into a body that would deprive me of love, tenderness, and safety, was absolutely terrifying. I knew I couldn’t stay in this body any longer because it wasn’t mine, but I also knew that if I was going to look like my dad, my brother, my abusers, it would be so much worse.

5 years later and I’m almost 2 years on T, and almost 2 months post top surgery.

I ditched my previous group of friends. I was bullied out of my local trans community. But let me tell you how free I am.

I was scared that T would break my singing voice: it made it sound more alive than ever.

I was scared that T would make me less attractive: it made me find myself hot for the first time in my life.

I was scared that T would make me gain weight: it did. But the weight I put on is not the weight I used to put on by binging and eating my body until I forgot that it even existed. It’s the weight of my body belonging to me, little by little. The wolf hunger for life.

I won’t tell you the same story I see everywhere, the one that goes “I started going to the gym 8 times a week, I put on some muscles, I started a diet and now I look like an action film actor”, in fact if you took pictures of me from 5 years ago vs now I’d just have more acne, I’d have longer hair and still look like I don’t know what to do with myself when I take selfies.

But the sparkle in my eyes, my smile, tell the whole story way better than this long ass stream of words could ever.

I want to say some things that I wish someone told me before starting medically transitionning.

It’s okay to take your time. It’s your body, it’s your journey, if you don’t feel comfortable taking full doses and want to go slow, the only voice you need to listen to is your own. Do what feels right.

If you feel overwhelmed, it’s okay to take a break, it’s okay to ask for support.

Trans people are holy. Everyone is. You didn’t lose your angel wings when you came out because you want to be masculine. You are not excluded from the joy of existence, from being proud of yourself, from being sad, from being scared, from being angry. The emotions and feelings you allowed yourself to feel while processing what you experienced when you grew up as a girl and was seen as a woman are still as valid as before. Nobody can take that from you. If someone tries to, don’t let them.

It’s perfectly normal to grieve some things you were and had before you started to transition, like your high soprano voice or even your chest. Hatching is painful. You can find comfort in things that don’t feel right, so making the decision to change can be incredibly scary and weird and you deserve to be heard and supported through this. Wanting top surgery doesn’t make the surgery less intense, less terrifying, less painful to recover from. When it becomes too much you have the right to take a break and take some deep breaths before going on.

You don’t have to have a radical, 180° change for your transition to be acceptable or valid or worthy of praise. Look at how far you’ve come already. It doesn’t have to show, you’re not made to be a spectacle, you’re human and it is your journey.

Oh, and last thing, you know when some people say “Oh this trans person has to grow out of the cringy phase where you think that you can write essays about being trans or transitionning or just their experience because it’s weird” ? If you ever hear this or see this online, remember all the people whose writing you read and, even if they were not professional writers, helped you more than any theorists did ? If you want to write, do it. It won’t be a waste. It can help people. Or it won’t, and even then, if it helped you, that’s enough.

Love every of my trans siblings, take care of yourselves. You deserve the world.

[musical-chick-13]

Anyone else out here feeling disconnected from their own humanity.

[suiana]

stoic ahhh yandere who looks like he has the emotional capabilities of a rock but is secretly super sweet.

"what's this?"

"you mentioned liking the cafe's croissant and brownies... i bought some for you because you were feeling down."

"aww wait that's actually so sweet! thank you babe! i love you!"

"Ok."

bros also the type of guy to say the most devious things with a straight face like??? huh??? what do you mean???

"if someone hurts you, i will handle it."

"bro??? what do you mean??? are you going to kill them???"

"i will handle it."

"HELLO???"

it's lowkey kinda cute but if he's going to be popping up behind you every time too... you think you'll die before he can actually do any of those things. did i mention he's quiet? yeah, he's super damn quiet. he'll randomly pop up behind you, stare at your back as you do something before speaking in the most deadpan voice.

"hm... this book is interesting... yes, i like this book a lot-"

"more interesting than me?"

"BRO"

it's like he doesn't know how to process and show emotions like a normal human... he's so... interesting. is he an alien?

"babe are you an alien?"

"no."

"do you love me?"

"yes."

"did you kill the guy who flirted with me two days ago?"

"ye- no. why did you ask? i definitely did not kill him. i am a normal person."

your boyfriend may be a little weird but he's your boyfriend and you love him. even if he's lowkey a little bit...

"babe? what are you doing in the corner of the room in middle of the night?"

"I couldn't sleep so i decided to stand in the corner and reflect on myself."

"...what?"

"you deserve better than me but i simply cannot allow you to be with someone else. it's a selfish thing and i am feeling... guilty that you are stuck with a person that cannot give you the attention you deserve. am i a bad person? I don't know. but being with you brings me such immense joy and i can only hope that you will love me enough so that this guilt will not weigh so heavy in my heart."

[a-hermit-pining]

Making Up with LaDS Men

AN: So soft. Ugh, I love them so much.

Pairing: LaDS boys x gn reader

Ingredients: 95% fluff, 5% angst.

My Fav: Rafayel's was the one that made me write this but Caleb is pretty nice too, if I must say so myself.

Rafayel:

He stares out his window and finds you perched on the pavement. In the rain. Right beneath his window, waiting for him to look.

And when he does, he nearly trips in his rush to get to you. He’s exasperated. Worried. And irrevocably touched.

By the tides, love made idiots of you both.

It had started as an argument about dishes. But it spiraled, into fights about living together, into complaints about time, into accusations about waiting too long, loving too little.

Until you finally stormed out, leaving behind one very outraged, very wounded fish. “Truth is, you’ll never choose me. Not even at the cost of my soul.”

He had yelled it at your retreating back. And he hated how hard he had to dig for words that would hurt. Hated how good he was at choosing the cruel ones. How stupid it was, wanting to wound you before you could wound him.

And when the tempers cooled and silence set in, you returned. But the door was locked.

So you sat outside, holding a bunch of slightly wilted flowers. And you waited. You waited until the sun disappeared. Until the clouds rolled in. Until the rain began to fall.

You stayed there, below his window. Because you knew how much your beloved fish loved the smell of petrichor. The scent of the world right after it breaks.

You wait, not as long as him, never that much but enough to make his heart melt.

Xavier:

He doesn’t stay mad for long. You know that. He doesn’t raise his voice. Doesn’t slam doors. Doesn’t lash out. But when the fight ends, if it can even be called a fight, he just... gets quiet. And that silence feels heavier than anger ever could.

He still makes your tea the next morning. Still leaves your charger on your pillow. Still kisses the top of your head before leaving for work. But he doesn’t hold your gaze. Not the way he usually does. Not for long.

So you show up that night with his favorite takeout. The kind that makes his shoulders drop the second he smells it. You light a candle, put on that playlist you both pretend not to love, and pull him gently into your lap when he walks in.

He lets you.

You wrap your arms around him. You kiss his cheek. His temple. The corner of his mouth. Soft, lingering things.

“I’m sorry,” you whisper.

His voice is muffled, face tucked into your shoulder. “I know you are.”

You press your forehead to his. “But are we okay?”

He hesitates. Just for a breath. Then nods. “We’re okay,” he says. “I just, sometimes I wish you’d come back sooner. I miss you too fast.”

You close your eyes and squeeze him a little tighter. “You’re allowed to be upset, you know. You don’t always have to hold it in.”

He gives a quiet laugh, “Yeah,” he murmurs. “But if I hold onto it, I lose time. Time I’d rather spend like this.”

Zayne:

BAKE. HIM. SWEETS.

He’s not the one to start arguments, he rarely even realizes they’ve become arguments until they’re over. Too real, too blunt, too logical for his own good. So most fights leave him confused at first... and horrified once he understands he’s the reason you walked away upset.

And if you’re the one feeling bad? Baking is the way.

This man is powerless against soft banana bread and sincere apologies. Bring him a tray of kiss-me brownies, what-are-we cinnamon rolls, or a marry-me pie, and suddenly he’s the most forgiving man alive.

Drop by hospital with a wrapped container, and you’ve won.

The moment he sees you standing outside his office, holding Tupperware and fidgeting like you might flee, he’s already smiling.

He’s a big fan of how you tailor everything for him. How you swap sugar for dates. Add protein. Use almond flour because “it’s good for your brain.”

He won’t even bring up the fight. He’ll sit beside you, still in scrubs, tucking into banana bread like it’s a love letter. And listen as you explain how you got the texture just right.

“I’m sorry I snapped,” you murmur.

“I know,” he says, brushing crumbs from your wrist. “But this banana bread earns you forgiveness. ”

Sylus:

He has not learned to share his pain. It is sharp and biting, searing both you and him. Sometimes, it lashes out hard enough to damage the fragile thing between you.

And he knows it.

He pushes you away, offering you the trigger, daring you to run the bullet through his heart. Because that would be easier than being vulnerable.

So lost is he in his ancient ache that he can’t see clearly anymore. He hides his hurt beneath a cold, cruel mask, like a wounded animal, snapping before it can be touched.

But it’s your gentleness that undoes him.

It’s when you give him nothing but love in return for his lashing, when you reach for him instead of leaving, that he breaks.

Be there for him. Stay. Hold him. Let him fall apart in your arms. Kiss the pain away, slowly, quietly.

He doesn’t need fixing. He needs time. And love that stays soft, even when he can’t.

Caleb:

A grand gesture.

This man is all about belonging. Wanting to be yours. For you to be his. And for the entirety of existence to know it.

The fight had been devastating.

You’d blamed him. Walked out, left him waiting for weeks. No contact. No updates. He couldn’t find you. Didn’t know if you were safe. Didn’t know if you still wanted him.

And when he finally found you again, Caleb had been quiet. Distant.

He didn’t know whether to reach for you or let you go. Didn’t know if you needed him… or needed to be free of him.

So imagine his surprise when he sees you, at the Fleet’s Christmas party. On stage. At the grand piano. In front of everyone.

You don’t speak. You play.

A soft song. Gentle. Hesitant. An apology spun into musical notes. A lullaby between lovers. A plea for forgiveness.

And then, as the music shifts, it becomes the song of Penelope, the woman who waited for Odysseus, year after year, unwavering.

It’s not subtle. It’s not meant to be.

You are declaring yourself his. You are saying it in front of everyone.

And that is what wins him.

Not just the music. Not just the apology. But the audacity of loving him loud, after hurting him quiet.

He watches you under the stage lights, blinking like he’s afraid to breathe. And when the song ends, he doesn’t wait.

He crosses the room, takes your face in his hands, and kisses you like he never wants to stop.

[cosmic-dust-poltergeist]

Pt3 of the Danny is the 99th attempted clone Tim made of Kon. Kon learns about Danny.

Relevant info: Kon was dead closer to a year and a half in this au, and this happens a few months after his revival.

[Pt2: here] [Pt4: here]

So Tim has admittedly been putting off meeting up with the Titans. Everyone has settled back into the new normal. Too much has happened for it to look anything like before, but the other 3 Titans have been hanging out semi-regularly, and Tim turns down their invites 3 of 4 times. He knows it's starting to hurt their feelings, and he hates that.

But... he's scared to admit he's a father now. A father to a clone of one of them. He's not sure how to bring it up. Cassie never asked if he was successful, probably just assumed he failed because there isn't a third Superboy flying around. Jokes on her. Danny isn't going to be a Superboy. He's not allowed to even think about being a hero or vigilante until he's 14 at the earliest, and Tim is going to help him find his own name if he chooses that path. He won't be a Robin or Superboy. He won't live in the shadow of those legacies if Tim can help it.

None of that is relevant for the here and now, though. Tim got Jason to babysit Danny and finally agreed to a hang out with the Titans. He asked Danny for his opinion first before making his decision and got the go ahead. So, Tim is finally going to come clean.

Tim barely makes it into the tower when he's tackled by his friends.

"Tim! You're here!" Bart cheers.

"Yeah, it's good to see you guys too. Sorry I haven't been very present." Tim fidgets. "I've been busy... I also haven't been honest..."

"Tim?" Cassie sounds concerned. And Tim just can't. He extracts himself from the puppy pile. He can't make himself give eye contact. He's sure his guilt and shame are written all over his body language.

"Tim, you can tell us anything." Kon sounds super genuine. Tim takes a deep grounding breath.

"Okay, let's do this like a bandaid." Tim finally looks at them, focusing mostly on Kon. "I have a son. He's technically Kon's, too."

He gets the dubious pleasure of watching his three idiots look at his abdomen, as if he gave birth.

"Why-? Kon, we never fucked!? What the fuck guys??" He sputters, waving his hands in front of him.

"Then how-" Cassie realizes. "Oh!"

"Oh?? What do you mean??" Bart is looking between them and vibrating in confusion. Kon is just looking like a confused and concerned puppy.

"Okay, so, I may have had a breakdown with everyone dying or going missing." Tim grimaces. "And while I was fully aware that even if I succeeded, it wouldn't be Kon, I still tried to clone him. And, um, I did manage to succeed in the end."

"Fuck, Tim.." Kon starts.

"Look, I was in a really fucking dark place and needed even just a piece of good I lost." Tim hugs himself, self loathing burning him from the inside out. "Everyone was turning their back on me, I just needed something, anything, to keep going."

"Fuck, I should have helped..." Cassie bites her lip, chewing on her guilty conscious.

"It's fine. No one was listening. Don't beat yourself up over it. You were in a bad spot, too." Tim gives a humorless laugh. "Danny was my 99th attempt. And my last attempt, if I'm honest. I could feel myself breaking more with each failure. On a fucking whim, I decided to make the 99th attempt a baby instead of trying for a teenager, and it worked. I fucked up a bit, I forgot to adjust the knowledge download to that of a 1 year old, but he was alive. He's the best thing to ever happen to me. I was scared to tell you. I'm sorry-"

"Tim.." Kon cuts him off, and Tim snaps his mouth shut. "I.. I'm honestly not sure how to feel about you cloning me, but I'd like to meet him. What's his name?"

Tim rapidly blinks back tears. "Aedan Drake, he prefers being called Danny. I.. I didn't add Kent because I don't trust Clark with him or give him an El name, I wanted him to understand kryptonian language and culture first. I... I also wanted Danny to be old enough to make the decision over his name himself. I don't want him to be treated like you were. The house of El were so awful to you."

"I understand, Tim." Kon steps towards Tim, "Can.. Can I hug you?"

Tim nods and is swept into a tight hug. He feels something give emotionally, and he sobs into his shoulder. "I fucking love him so much."

"Tell me about him." Kon says softly. He can feel Bart and Cassie hoving, unsure what to do, but unwilling to leave.

"He's physically around 3 now. He loves ghosts and space and named the wolf plushy I bought him on his first day alive Wulf." There's some chuckles over that. "He's sassy and petty, but insanely sweet and tries to help out with any and all tasks. I see so much of both of us in him. Nature vs Nurture is a messy bitch. You remember what I said my start as Robin was like?"

"How you had to babysit a grown ass man and force him into better habits?" Cassie snarks.

"Karma's a funny bitch. Danny started doing the same shit to me as soon as he figured out how to walk." Tim giggles. "Anytime we weren't in danger, he'd force me to take care of injuries and to eat and sleep. And I'd do it because what kind of monster denies a baby trying to be helpful... plus he gets really stressed and depressed if he can't help."

Tim grips the back of Kon's shirt. "I don't understand how he developed my people pleaser tendencies so early on. We were stuck on LoA bases when he first started doing everything in his power to help me. I was purposely being a little shit to our "hosts" at the time. So it wasn't a surprise that he developed a Robin's need to troll, but he only saw me be nice to him."

"The LoA??" Kon asks in alarm.

"It was a rough year..." Tim scowls. "And if I see Ra's again, I'm gutting him. B's rules be damned."

"What happened?" Cassie asks, suddenly a lot closer.

"He's a creep, a pedo, and a child abuser." Kon rubs Tim's suddenly very stiff back and shoulders. "I could handle him being creepy towards me. While gross and awful to have a disgusting 300 or something year old man trying to wife me-"

"Excuse me???"

"He WHAT?"

"-I'm more pissed I couldn't protect Danny. I don't know what that piece of shit did when I couldn't take Danny with me, but Danny is linked to the pit now. He luckily doesn't have pit rage like Jason, but he can calm Jason's pit and apparently glows according to Duke." Tim sobs. "I should have killed the man when I had a chance. I don't know what he did to Danny!"

"It's not your fault, Tim." Kon hugs Tim tightly, it's almost painful. "You were in a tough spot and doing your best to keep you both alive."

"Just focus on healing and moving on." Bart says while running a hand through Tim's hair. Cassie rubs both Tim and Kon's backs as Tim gets himself under control.

"Can.. can I meet him?" Kon whispers.

"I'd love for you to meet him." Tim sniffles. "He was nervous you'd hate him for existing. I apparently passed on my stupid anxiety. I couldn't quite get him to believe me when I told him he wouldn't be who you'd be mad at if you got mad. He wants to meet you, but I accidentally made the most jaded baby in the world."

"A Super raised by a Bat is going to be terrifying." Bart giggles. "We'll have to make sure he doesn't become a supervillain."

"Meh. He's too cute. If he goes evil, all he has to do is pout and he'll instantly win." Tim jokes, wiggling out of the hug. "Want to see pictures?"

There's a very strong positive response. The next 3 hours finds Tim showing off pictures and explaining the stories behind them, his team melting at how cute his son is. Tim feels the lightest he's felt in a while. He does have to promise Bart and Cassie to bring Danny over once Kon and Danny meet one on one first.

What Tim doesn't know is Kon is absolutely obsessed with and slightly horny over this parental side of Tim. He's fully daydreaming of the 3 of them living together and being disgustingly domestic the whole time Tim is showing off Danny. Cassie can tell what Kon is thinking about and is amused.

Once Tim leaves, the Titans go to the training room and fuck up some bots because of the rage they feel on Tim and Danny's behalf. They all agree to be as petty as possible to any LoA members they come across and to murder Ra's the moment there's an opportunity to do so without the JL knowing. Tim isn't the only unhinged one on this team. That's why they work so well together.

[mxrcurysb1tch]

𓂃⋆.⟢ Astrology observations pt. VII ⟢ .⋆𓂃

｡𖦹° Hi my loves! I Hope you’re all doing well. Don’t forget that you can send me any astrology related questions to my asks and I will reply the best I can! (Please note that I don’t do vedic, persona charts or super minor asteroids). As always, take what resonates and leave the rest! <3

｡𖦹° 8th house synastry is the energy of unrequited obsession. It feels absolutely magnetic. Naturally, being the 8th house, the obsession will be very secretive and can involve frequently checking their socials, following them and just “happening” to be at the same place at the same time… generally just creeping on them in secret. The connection is likely to be very one-sided, with the house person being much more intrigued and concerned with the planet person. The planet person may be completely oblivious to these feelings. The house person may even be deluded into thinking there is a mutual connection. It can sometimes feel like being torn apart by the sheer weight of this longing and the impossibility of it all.

｡𖦹° 1h: Lilith/Pluto/Saturn/Capricorn/Scorpio: you probably have been told you have a resting b!tch face or just a mean looking face in general. Everyone thinks you look intimidating or angry or unapproachable. Don’t worry though, you’re baddass.

｡𖦹° Moon in the 1h synastry: The moon person is inclined to share their inner feelings with the house person because they feel intrinsically understood and comforted by them. The house person seems to instinctually know what the moon person is feeling and will know what to do to cheer them up and validate their emotions. I have this with one of my friends, his moon in my 1h, and despite us not being all that close, he opened up to me about something emotionally traumatic that happened in his life and I found myself compelled to do everything I could to make it better. We’re now really close because of that experience.

｡𖦹° I’ve noticed that 8th & 12th house natives have this interesting thing where they don’t always need direct experiences to learn lessons. I feel like they pick up on subtleties very easily so they can learn life lessons extremely fast and even without direct experience. They absorb the energy from those around them, learning what to do and what not to do just by intuiting and observing. Their lessons may be very psychic/emotional/mental rather than being outward so they can sometimes feel that though they have all of the same wisdom (and usually more) than their peers, they lack the concrete tangible experiences to go along with it and they can sometimes feel ‘left out’ of or unable to relate to the physical world.. They can also sometimes treat the physical world like it is optional or just not worth their time. 8th housers especially can develop a lot of apathy.

｡𖦹° Capricorn mars is the warrior placement. Mars is exalted in Capricorn and it is for a reason. Unless they also have other more emotional placements or afflictions, these people never ever throw fits. Instead, they calmly get on with whatever life has handed them and make the best of it every time. They are adept at turning pain into power and being extremely resourceful. They may have come from poverty or lack or even abuse but they do not wallow in it or allow it to stop them. These people have the drive and ambition to accomplish their goals despite any obstacle and that is truly an admirable trait.

｡𖦹° Libra moon with Aries Mercury is such an interesting opposition to have because they’re always talking a big game about all the thrills and dramas going on in their lives and all the people that have gotten on their bad side, who they hate and such but when you actually observe them in action they’re very accepting, easygoing people who don’t actually start drama or have these “wild” moments at all.

｡𖦹° it is really important for cardinal signs, especially moon to do something active or physical to get out of an emotional rut or stagnation. Transmuting and expelling energy is super important for them and creating something can help them to feel they’ve accomplished something for the day. Feeling useful and productive is extremely important for cardinal energy. Exercise is the biggest one imo but it could also be channeling energy into work, creative endeavours or even taking the focus off oneself and looking to helping others instead. Anything that is proactive. It may not help them to do a more passive activity or rest before they have had this release of stagnant energy because they might wind up more frustrated than before.

[hope-for-the-planet]

Trans person in the US. Bust some of the doomerism for me? Tell me it's going to be okay?

Hi Anon

Usually, I have boundaries for myself about keeping this blog focused on environment-related issues, because there are limits to what I can speak knowledgeably about. But now doesn’t feel like the time for that.

Anon, I will tell you that I live in the US, I am queer, my spouse is trans, and we have two young children. I am sitting right there with you in the fear and grief and every day when I ask myself “is there still hope” I find reasons to say “yes”.

They want us—all of us, not just queer folks—to feel overwhelmed and hopeless, because despair is a tool that keeps people from realizing their power and taking action.

They want us to feel so afraid that we lose our faith in other people and withdraw from our communities, because we are easier to conquer alone.

Do not give them what they want.

Hope is most necessary in the bad times. The ability to imagine a future that is better than things are now is exactly what gives us the power to begin making things better. Our community has been through terrible things before, and they did not lose hope or give up—otherwise we would not be where we are today.

When you start to feel like all the light is being blotted out, turn off the news, put away your phone, and go get in touch with something you love. Go outside and look at the sky, talk to a friend, listen to music, do some small thing to make something better even if it’s just cleaning your kitchen or picking up some litter around the block or returning an extra stranded cart in the grocery store parking lot. Remind your brain that you have agency to make positive change in the world through your actions.

I know it is really hard to pull out of the darkness sometimes. I know there will be days that hope seems like a foolish, naive thing, that despair and distrust seem like the only rational options. But hope is what keeps us alive. Hope is what allows us to save each other.

I wish I could give you a specific article or other source to reassure you that everything is going to be ok, but things are still too in flux day by day. I can tell you that people are already fighting back, in big and little ways, all over this country and the world. These orders and bills are being pushed by a loud but small minority—this is not how the majority of the country feels about trans rights.

Make a plan for staying safe. Reach out to your community. Find music, activities, podcasts, movies, whatever helps you feel uplifted and take mental breaks from dwelling on the news. If you can, find ways to get involved in making things better in whatever big or small way feels doable for you--it may help push back on the doomerism more than you think. And my inbox is open if you need to talk.

I wish I could invite you over for dinner. I wish I could look into your eyes and tell you that things may get hard for the next few years but that does not mean that your life can't still be full of joy and beauty and fulfillment in spite of that.

I’m right there with you. Let’s make it through this together <3

[drchucktingle]

THE TEXAS LIBRARY ASSOCIATION HAVE ISSUED AN APOLOGY AND A RE-INVITATION. HERE IS MY STATEMENT

hello buckaroos. the TEXAS LIBRARY ASSOCIATION have issued a formal statement and apology which you can read at the attached link.

while i find the language used to discuss what was done a little unsatisfying, i would like to start by saying i appreciate anyone taking steps to prove love is real and make things right. the genuine feeling of ‘realizing you have made a mistake and hurt someone else’ is a terrible one, and i have so much empathy for this group as they reckon with their choices causing harm. i appreciate their apology.

i also think more good than bad has come from this situation. i am so thankful this happened to me (someone with a large social media presence) and not a smaller buckaroo author without the means to stand up for themselves. i think the next time someone comes to the TXLA with an accommodation need, they will hopefully be taken more seriously

lets trot down to business about specifics now. the TXLA has re-invited chuck to the original panel and even offered to take a moment at the top of the panel to talk about what happened. this is very kind of them and i will say THANK YOU. 

unfortunately i will also have to decline.

the fact that it took this much effort, social media backlash, and discussion to let me simply EXIST PHYSICALLY in a way that is authentic to myself is not a good sign. if this organization immediately questions an authors chosen presentation in this manner, i cannot imagine what my other accommodations would be met with.

sometimes i am at an event and i very quickly need extra space to breathe. sometimes i am at an event and i need special guides to help me along from place to place. these are not ‘big asks’ and every other conference has gladly provided them, but if the TXLA had this kind of initial reaction to my physical appearance, i cannot imagine them readily helping with my other needs without ‘proof’.

this is clearly not a safe place to trot for those who require additional accommodations. regardless of any apology, their ACTIONS have shown that people who appear unusual or unique are not welcome at this event on a subconscious level. i believe the TXLA have some serious inner work to do beyond this apology, and i believe this inner work will involve actions more than words.

but even more importantly i would like to make this very important point: IT DOES NOT MATTER IF MY MASK IS A DISABILITY AID OR NOT. i appreciate the way this discussion has allowed us to trot out some deep talks on autism and proved love in this way, but i think there is a much more important point at hand.

regardless of WHAT someone looks like, it is not the job of an event or conference to pick apart WHY. physical presentation can be a part of someones neurodivergence, or gender, or sexuality, but i can also just exist as a nebulous undefined part of their inner self. it can be a piece they are not ready to openly discuss yet. the guests at TXLA are authors (aka ARTISTS) and the idea that a conference dedicated to an ART is going to deny people with unique and unusual presentations for ANY reason is absurd. since when are we applying a ‘dress code’ to our artists?

without knowing it, i personally believe there is an element of the ‘good queer, bad queer’ phenomenon going on here. there is a push to say ‘LOOK we accept these marginalized groups and cultures’ but behind the scenes that means ‘we accept these marginalized groups and cultures who are quiet and speak in turn and wear the metaphorical suit and tie’. it is easy to show diversity when you only take on the voices that arent too ‘strange’.

to prove my point i ask you this: do you think orville peck would have FOR ONE SECOND been asked to perform at the texas library association event without his mask?

so with that i say ‘very sincerely, thank you, but i will have to decline the re-invitation. maybe next year’