#things need to be complicated and elaborate

[maxestie]

Hear me out: (got this idea from a fic btw) The FIA sit all the drivers down and make them take an “am I gay” test and give them grid penalties based on how high they score (but it’s the FIA so they’re homophobic probably). What, in your opinion, is the starting grid?

Hi anon!! I need to know what fics you're reading fr 🙏 but this is my opinion, ill try to be as respectful to all the drivers as possible (a little bit of canon in it so)

Well, I think they'll line up the people with the highest score last, and the least starting p1, so, here's the grid imo;

P20: Yuki Tsunoda.

OKAY, HEAR ME OUT!! he definitely got higher than a 95 and it's definitely because he was thinking about Pierre this whole test. '"Would I let a person of the same sex give me flowers?" Oh yeah, absolutely, Pierre does that all the time!' Also, it's RBR so he probably got like 60 grid penalties.

P19: George Russel.

'I have proof about you that people may consider as a "coming out"' – yeah, that's it, anon.

P18: Charles Leclerc.

I don't think I will elaborate more.

P17: Lance Stroll.

He likes older men. 100% filled the survery thinking about Fernando and if his result would please him.

P16: Gabriel Bortoletto.

He likes older men.

P15: Oliver Bearman

He longs for the rival his age (Kimi), for he is only his father's (Charles) son 🫤.

P14: Oscar Piastri

He and logan were fooling around in the PREMA hospitality once, or twice, and he has been confused ever since then. He does miss Logan, but can't text him 'yeah I miss you let's kiss again' because he doesn't want to complicate their relationship, especially because they probably won't cross paths again.

P13: Lewis Hamilton.

2016 made him feel new things.

P12: Esteban Ocon.

He ruined Max's race once and they had the NASTIEST angry fuck of all time in 2018. Max moved on quickly though, the next day he was ignoring him and Ocon just ended up with lots of hickeys and a hole in heart that needed to be filled, which Pierre did later on, but their relationship was too toxic. Brazil 2024 was before their breakup, Abu Dabhi 2024. Also, he's a fucking Deadpool fan. OFCOURSE HE FILLED THE FORM AS PANSEXUALLY AS POSSIBLE!!

P11: Pierre Gasly.

Flirts with Yuki and Esteban, leads them both on—but in the end Ocon is an afterthought.

P10: Max Verstappen.

I KNOW YOU HAVE BEEN WAITTINGGG FOR THIS. As the biggest Max and Lestappen fan of all time after Charles Leclerc, you're probably confused why the FUCK was Max not mentioned earlier. Well, that's because he's BISEXUAL!! Jokes about grindr all the time, Kelly has said that he doesn't care about the gender when he's drunk, he just goes home with anyone. He definitely has known this since he was 15 and saw Charles for the first time, probably joking with Pierre about some stupid shit, and the glimmer in Charles’s eyes is too pretty for Max to handle. He filled that survery KNOWING he was bi.

(But the FIA will give him more penalties for being cocky or something stupid)

P9: Fernando Alonso

Treats Lance like a boytoy, but he gains feelings in the long run; they're like Jay Pritchett and Gloria from Modern Family.

P8: Alex Albon

Bi like Max—can only talk to him or George about it. They definitely joke having a double date with Charles and George but they know the paparazzi would go insane. Did the survery intentionally picking the more "straight" options to not get suspicious looks.

P7: Andrea Kimi Antonelli

Intentionally picked the more straight options so he could tell the rookies he did "better", but his heart skipped a beat when Ollie revealed his score, which was high, and Kimi gets hope that he finally might confess!! Might ask Max for tips though.

P6: Liam Lawson

Picked the straight options to get a higher place on the grid, doesn't know what he is truly, and never will. But that's okay, nobody likes labels :)

P5: Nico Hülkenburg

He thought about Kevin whilst filling the form. Decided that's too sad and clicked random buttons.

P4: Franco Colapinto

Cheated the system. He likes older women AND men, and thought of Lewis but as an older woman whilst filling the opposite sex options. Fucked it up but atleast he gets to start p4!

P3: Iscak Hadjar

Thought of Lewis whilst filling the form, decided that's too fucking creepy because he sees Lewis as a mentor, complete opposite to Franco.

P2: Lando Norris

Has said that trump is his lucky charm and praised him once or twice, knows the implicatations and thinks of himself as an ally. Carlos was so nice to him, but then he left for Ferrari and Lando thinks that their PR videos are unscripted. He slaps Oscar's ass and Oscar is always so polite about it—so he thinks he might try something more, but then Oscar yaps to him about Lily and he nods like he never cared.

(I'm gonna get JUMPED for this)

P1: Carlos Sainz

Follows Donald Trump on twitter unprompted, definitely was cringing whilst taking the quiz. He likes to create homoerotic relationships with his teammates and leave once the teammate is too attached.

(I'm gonna get jumped pt 2)

THANK YOU FOR THE ASK ANON!! I love asks where I can yap tf out. I'm sorry if it wasn't what you were expecting! Also, if you wanted to know about Logan Sargeant, Jack Doohan, Checo, or the old grid, I'm always there.

It's so FUCKED UP there is only a 30 tag limit....let me yap....

[taragreenfield]

Nikolai Lantsov, the golden boy of nepotism and corruption

Today's ridiculous Grishaverse take is Nikolai as a great ruler and a brilliant strategist, playing some sort of elaborate political chess in his fight for the throne.

First things first, don't make me laugh with Nikolai "playing chess". He is a pathetic nepo child playing in a sandbox built for him by his father. His actions expose a complete lack of political foresight, common sense, and ideological backbone. He's a delusional opportunist who got bored with playing a pirate and decided to play a king instead. His "charm" is built on lies, hypocrisy and privilege.

Bombing supply lines and making your people starve isn't a clever strategy, it's economic terrorism.

Killing the Grisha on the opposite side without trying to negotiate isn't a sign of "a diplomatic, benevolent ruler" he's trying to play.

Denying justice to Grisha who suffered in pogroms, and girls who were raped by his father, and quietly pardoning their abusers isn't a smart political move; it's malicious negligence and complicity.

Making Grisha fraternize with the First Army that just recently slaughtered their kind and making them share their inventions with the perpetrators of anti-Grisha persecution isn't a peaceful reform; it's subjugation of an already oppressed group and the coercive erasure of their trauma.

Putting an ignorant, volatile brat in charge of the army is criminal incompetence. We saw how their "plan" with dishes failed; anyone with one functioning brain cell would see it coming from a mile away.

Abolishing the Grisha draft isn't benevolence; it's shallow virtue signaling if you don't address the circumstances that made that draft necessary in the first place. Grisha were drafted because they were not accepted anywhere else. When Zoya mentions to Nikolai that Grisha are still getting kicked out of their houses, his response is "well, it's illegal." See how much he cares about Grisha integration into society? Violent anti-Grisha bigots are known for their compliance with the law: if it's illegal, they'll surely immediately stop; no need to worry about that! That's how it always works with hateful bigots, yeah.

The evidence of his supposed "political genius" I guess is supposed to be him getting drunk with nobles and charming them into striking a few deals—building a mill and buying his gin. That's not a leader. Not a political figure. It's a market merchant selling his snake oils to rich fools. I wonder what he would do if Vasily wasn't conveniently killed by the Darkling. Would he put on his best clown costume and try to pantomime his brother into abdicating?

His meanderings about "kindness and perseverance" are nauseatingly hypocritical: I bet it's easy to be all charming and effortlessly mingle with the nobles when you were born into the royal family and didn't have to claw your way to the top and fight for the mere right to be treated with dignity. As a prince, he directly benefitted from Grisha oppression, so I'm not impressed by his performative concern for the minorities. Nor am I compelled to applaud his charisma when he's schmoozing with nobles - he's one of them after all.

He sounds like a trust fund baby teaching the homeless that they just need to stop being poor.

He absolutely deserves to share his Romanov namesake's fate. Although I'd personally prefer the guillotine - makes for a better show. People deserve to see the parasites who have been leeching off them lose their heads.

[prettygirl365]

Upon the request of exactly 3 people, elaborating time

@nitrodestroyer14 @katiemcgrathisdaddyaf @spookyanxiety

Dragon!Rumi au

As Rumi embraces her demon side, she needs to familiarize herself to her newfound self. Whoever... whatever that might be.

I see a lot of bashful and shy Rumi as she gets to know herself but imagine charismatic, confident, and sly....as a dragon should be. Her new nature also makes her more hotheaded and stubborn, being a prideful dragon and all. It leads to a lot of petty arguments that, thankfully, almost never get too serious.

She's a lot more little shit coded as she spouts out one-liners mid fight and tricks Mira and Zoey for the lols. Nothing actually bad, just almost cheating but not really on account of technicalities during game night or convincing them to make a bet she already knows she'll win.

Now, don't get me wrong, she's still dorky Rumi who wears animal print pj pants, but she's cool and sexy about it.

Her demon form becomes a lot more inhuman than in canon or in most AUs. Horns, wings, her patterns become lightning bolts of scales, her teeth are double rowed and all razor sharp.

Hoarding tendencies!!! She snatches away and safeguards the things that catch her eye or enjoys, Mira and Zoey have a lot of missing items that Rumi will only return if directly asked. She's almost stolen from stores until human brain catches up to dragon brain and reminds her she has to pay for things.

Her previously minimalistic spotless room is cluttered with her "treasures."

Possessive, not protective, possessive. Hates when anyone else gets within touching distance of her mates or acts too familiar with them. They're hers. How dare they act like they aren't?

This one creates a bit of tension for awhile because....

Rumi is still not fully comfortable with her demon side and only likes showing the silly things to her girls, keeping the parts she considers ugly and off putting to herself. She is grossed out with herself because, on a logical level, she knows that Zoey and Mira are their own people, how dare she try to take that away?

The suppression makes the instincts worse until she audibly growled at a fan who hugged Zoey in public after they got and was visibly annoyed with the fan the whole time.

(The fan later posts about how rude Rumi was and gets dog piled because what are they on? Rumi is the picture of perfessionalism, she's never snapped at anyone, even those who probably deserve it, they have to be lying)

When they get back to their tower, Zoey and Mira are obviously all like "what the fuck was that Rumi?" and when Rumi refuses to talk they get into an argument because they agreed on no more secrets but Rumi insists it's none of their business until she eventually snaps and confesses the truth. She was pissed off because they were hers and the fan was, in her mind, spitting all over that

That, of course, upsets Mira. She has complicated feelings on the concept of being owned due to her upbringing and parents treating Mira less like a daughter and more like an item to show off.

It does not help that I envision this being pre-canon.

I have more but thats the bulk of the au

You've all heard of cat Rumi, but consider... dragon Rumi.

[humanfox030]

". . .On the second day, he declared that he needed a rock.”

“A . . . rock.”

“He hopped out of the wagon and found one, then he hit himself on the head with it.

Did it three or four times.

Came right back to the wagon with an odd grin, and said . . ."

This little scene keeps making me laugh so I had to draw it

[icewindandboringhorror]

indeed my exact process once every 8 months or so

[joeku-xiv]

thinking a lot about jean in so many ways, he’s sooo endearing and everytime i like him more and more

and i can’t not think about ships too, and it’s. difficult.

i love jeanharry too much, two co-dependant depressed assholes that yes, have a few wonderful moments together, but can’t stop making each other worse? woo boy i crave for it. thinking about their past together makes me always emotional, it’s so. really.

but in the present/future? i can’t see harry without kim, there’s too much between them and i can’t look away, and i also really love them. i think that jean and harry would drive them insane again, their baggage is too heavy, and i can’t see a way for them to really work for once. the love? is totally here, it’ll always be, but alone? they can’t work, they’ll be the death of them

jeankimharry? it works, i like it, i think that kim can make them work and finally resolve some of their problems, and them with kim too. will they all heal? of course not, there’ll always be problems (and thanks fuck, i don’t want to woobify no one please i love them all as problematic as they are because there isn’t a good man in disco elysium) but all together they can work. but it’s really easy for people to put jean in the background and no. big nope. i fucking hate it, if they’re a throuple there shouldn’t be someone who’s in the center, they’re all equal. sooo uhm, i like it, but it’s really difficult too

everything i’ve seen about jeantrant is really good, i like it, they’re cute, but my problem is that we (me? could be my problem, it’s still been not a lot of time since i’ve finished de) know too little about trant, and we don’t really see his personality, his problems, everything. to me he seems too good and sane, and i think that also jean craves in some way someone fucked up as him. it doesn’t feel that satisfying for me too, not like this. wish to know more about him, the game has leave some good doubts to me about trant

with judy there could be really good ideas but i’m too afraid of the misogyny around her and nope. i’ve already seen to many shit takes about jean, if i have to deal with misogyny too i’ll go insane

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

HI MAC. FINISHED SEASON ONE OF HANNIBAL. THOUGHTS: AHGHSGHFAHSGDKDFHKJGHKJGD OHGHGGG WILL GRAHAM THERE IS SOMETHING SO WRONG WITH YOU. i am holding him by the scruff of the neck and looking directly into his sad autistic eyes. i love this little guy. he needs severe medical and psychological help. i love him more than anything. dr lecter is so fucking interesting i need to grab him by the neck and strangle him he is such an awful person but such a cool character agh ough agh. he says he's will's friend but then he manipulates him and does all these horrible things and i just!! wanna know why!!!!! if he is your friend why are you hurting him!!!!! or is he actually your friend at all?? do you see him more as something to play with???? someone who thinks in such an interesting way that you wanted to know what lengths you could push him to???? I DON'T KNOW!!!! I WANT TO KNOW SO BADLY!!!!! pls tell me will doesn't die i am so attached to him i am putting him in my pocket and feeding him jellybeans <3 i am going to watch season 2 once my cold is gone because when i feel bad physically i feel bad MENTALLY so i am Not in a good like. headspace?? to watch it rn what with the death and blurring of reality and such but MAN. MANNNNN oh it is so cool i am kicking my feet and giggling i am so excited to watch the rest oghhh it is so fucked up <3 i love fucked up weird murder stories 10/10 amazing show no notes thank u for recommending it 2 me i love it v much :3

NORMAL HANNIBAL EXPERIENCE. OH MY GODDDD im so glad u sre enjoying it so farrrrr <3 its like. beloved piece of media to me but also it fucks me up in the brain. its a good horror reset for me . occasionally im just like. i need to feel weird about blood and gore and death and then i will watch a couple epispdes of hannibal and just sit there like

TAKE YOUR TIME. OF COURSE. dw dw i was the same way watching it for the first time because it gets SO weird and existential sometimes and. tbh the artistic gore kind of got to me in ways i did not expect ??? it can be so overwhelming sometimes and my exact feelings on it are very hard to articulate and i could sit here for hours discussing it and not actually ever get to a point . SO I GET U. it's just the kinda show you gotta take ur time with. and thats totally cool :) I CAN TELL YOU WITH. MINIMAL SPOILERS. will graham doesnt die . absolute mess of a man. u know that post thats like "what a beautiful man . i would love yo see him in a fit of despair" thatd me about will graham. and also covered in blood. and let me tell u this show fucking DELIVERS.

[stellarcuriosity]

❤ You know who ;)

send me ❤ and I will bold all that applies to your muse

I would kill for you. • I would make love to you. • I would fuck you. • I would protect you. • I would hurt you for a selfish cause. • I wish we had more in common. • I want nothing to do with you. • I want to see you cry. • I want a future with you. • I want to destroy your future. • I do not care what you do. • I am indifferent towards you. • I want children with you. • I love you ( platonically ) • I love you ( romantically ) • I love you like family. • You are my family. • I could fall in love with you. • I would lie for you. • I would fight by your side. • I will never let you go. • I would hold you while you cried. • I would hug you. • I want to kiss you. • I would stay by your bedside if you were ill. • I want to fall asleep with you in my arms. • I want to forget you. • I will never forget you. • I only want to make you proud. • I wish I could make you happy. • You deserve nothing. • I will never forgive you. • You confuse me.

[shawcl]

-

[911-incorrect-quotes-dispatch]

Ravi: I can't do this anymore, I wanna quit again.

Eddie: Join the club.

Buck: Eddie, stop encouraging him. You, sit back down and listen!

Ravi, immediately: I'm sat.

Buck: You know what I’ve learned after all these years?

Ravi: What?

Buck: We're all just very complicated roombas.

Eddie, trying not to laugh: Please do elaborate, Buck.

Buck: You bump into things, you get lost, you make weird noises when you're low on energy. And honestly, you're doing amazing. Keep it up. And if you ever need help just make some noise.

Eddie: Oh...

Ravi, laughing: This is the weirdest way I've ever been cheered up, and I'm kinda mad at how good it worked. Thanks, Buck.

Eddie, holding back tears: It was ok, I guess.

[makowo]

Hey I keep thinking about this question.

For further elaboration; you will be perfectly healthy without it, and face no complications relating specifically to that thing. You can still get exhausted from physical work and need to sit down and rest, but you won't have to be completely unconscious to recover. Likewise, your nutrients will stay balanced and you stay at your current weight, but you won't need any food. You can drink if you want, but its not needed if you don't eat.

And you absolutely CANNOT do what you choose ever again. no enjoying good food or enjoying a comfortable nap. Make your choice.

Reblog if you want it will be appreciated 👍

[agreeewrites]

Seducing A Scrooge | Jegulus

“Oh, my sweet girl. What has that madman done to you now?” Regulus cooed, crossing the room to you.

feat. poly!jegulus x reader

SUMMARY: Regulus is having a hard time getting into the Christmas spirit this year, so you and James devise a plot to spread some holiday cheer.

CW: MDNI 18+, smut with zero plot, established relationship, being tied up with Christmas decorations, group sex, praise kink, mix of sweetness and rough-ish stuff, lots of spit swapping, switch!reg and softdom!james

divider by @issysh3ll

“Jamie, this might be overkill,” you mumbled through the ribbon between your teeth.

“Nonsense.” He stuck a present bow to the top of your head. “Unless your uncomfortable,” he amended, wiggling his fingers between the tinsel and your skin to ensure it wasn't wrapped to tightly around you.

You shook your head, your thighs clenching together when he adjusted your position by lifting you by your festive bondage.

“Ah, just impatient?” James teased, setting you a bit more upright against the headboard. He skimmed his cool fingers over his work, the tinsel and lights wrapped around your body in complicated twists and knots, digging into your soft flesh and leaving a dusting of glitter over your skin. “We'll unwrap you soon enough, love,” he hummed, leaning in to give you a quick kiss.

“How much longer will he be?” You whined, not in a hurry to be released, but already desperate for your lovers to touch you. James’ slow, deliberate ministrations while tying you up had set your body on fire, which he refused to quell before Regulus could play with you himself.

“Not much longer. Do you need anything while we wait?” He kissed down your neck, illuminated pink by the LED’s, featherlight and teasing. The tight ball of arousal in your stomach tightened further, your clit damn near aching clenched between your thighs.

You let out a soft whimper when he grazed his teeth over your pulse point. “An orgasm?” You ventured, and he chuckled against your skin.

“Sorry, darling. Watching you squirm is far too enjoyable to cut short.” He gave you one last peck on the cheek before rolling off the bed. He waved his wand to light the fireplace and start up some soft Christmas instrumentals on your muggle record player.

If Regulus heard “Jingle Bells” immediately upon entering the cabin, he'd turn straight around.

Your boyfriend, who was tempermental on a good day, seemed to have descended into full Scrooge this holiday season.

You and James had tried everything to infect him with the holiday spirit, from decorating your shared flat floor to ceiling in the gorgeous, vintage-holiday style he preferred, to going on romantic walks to see the lights, all bundled up in heavy coats and scarves. You'd even planned an elaborate date night to see the Nutcracker ballet, with coordinated outfits and a fancy dinner, but he was clearly only indulging your efforts, not actually enjoying the festivities himself.

So, you and James concocted a last ditch effort to raise his spirits, festive or otherwise. And now here you were, done up like a slutty Christmas tree.

Both of your ears perked at the sound of a bell chiming, enchanted to ring whenever one of the three of you arrived home.

James gave you a salacious grin. “Stay here,” he said, pressing a quick kiss to your temple before darting out to meet Regulus at the front door.

“Like I have a choice,” you grumbled yourself, shifting slightly and feeling the slick collecting between your legs.

“Welcome home, love,” James said, his voice warm and gentle, and you heard Regulus murmur something in response. Your muscles bunched with tension, and you bit down on the ribbon to stifle any sounds you might make.

“I should have known better than trying to go to the fucking shops two weeks before Christmas,” he grumbled, dropping his things on the dining room table. “Absolute insanity.”

“I can imagine,” James chuckled, and you could hear his arms wrap around Regulus, his coat crinkling against the taller boys chest. “Glad you're home,” James said softly, and your heart swelled.

After a few moments of quiet, you heard Regulus speak again. “Where's y/n? I bought her something.”

You sucked in a breath.

“A Christmas present?” James teased, and Regulus scoffed.

“No, just a regular present.” He rummaged through some bags, and withdrew something that sounded like clothing.

James gave a low whistle, and heat scorched your skin. “Oh, Reg. She'll love that,” he gushed.

“I thought so. Where is she? Over at Remus'?”

“Bedroom,” James replied, casual as could be.

The next second, James was opening the bedroom door and Regulus strode in, a gorgeous, red velvet dress in his hands. He froze when his eyes finally landed on you, widening a fraction before his beautiful face split into a wicked smirk.

“Oh, my sweet girl. What has that madman done to you now?” He cooed, laying the dress on the chair before crossing the room to you.

“It was her idea,” James chuckled, leaning against the doorway.

“Not entirely!” You mumbled around the ribbon, and Regulus’ smile widened.

Regulus’ fingers traced the tinsel over your thighs, over your soaked apex, and up to catch your chin, tilting your face towards him. “This true, darling? Did you two conspire against me?”

Your eyes widened, fixed on his dilating pupils, blackness overtaking the soft green irises. There was something about Regulus that never failed to make your brain shut off, and you found yourself struggling to formulate a response.

“Well, what a lovely little pair of trickster elves you are.” He leaned down and brushed his lips against yours, more a caress than a kiss, leaving your skin tingling in his wake. “And what a pretty Christmas decoration you make.” Regulus pulled back, admiring James’ work, and the way your curves strained against it.

“She was so good while I tied her up. Barely moved a muscle,” James praised, easing himself onto the bed beside you and running hand over your thigh, the muscles jumping at his delicate touch.

Your pussy was practically thrumming with anticipation, their words only amplifying your needy state.

“That so?” Regulus removed his shoes and coat, revealing the tight, black turtleneck and expensive jeans underneath.

You nodded, trying hard not to squirm as James started kneading your flesh with his big hands, slowly inching closer to your center.

“Although,” James hummed, his hand pausing. You held back a strangled whine, your hips flinching closer to his fingers. “She did start to get a little impatient towards the end. Even asked me to get her off before you got home.”

You glared daggers at James, earning a sly smirk.

Regulus tsked. “Jamie, be a dear and hold her still for me.”

Without another word, James stripped his clothing, revealing his tanned, muscular torso and matching cock, already at attention, before climbing into bed. He arranged you both so he was sitting behind you, your head leaned against his chest. His hands settled on your hips, squeezing gently in reassurance as Regulus approached.

“Did James tying you up make you that desperate?” He asked, and you nodded, your heart racing. “You like being at our mercy? Ours to treat however we please?” He dragged the tips of his fingers over your skin, making you shiver against James and forget your words.

“Yes or no, lovey,” James encouraged, his lips against the shell of your ear.

“Yes,” you whimpered.

“Undo her legs,” Regulus ordered.

Excitement washed through you, and James was quick to literally tear the tinsel off of you, throwing it onto the floor beside the bed while Regulus carefully unwound the lights. Then James tucked his hands under your knees, pulling your legs apart and back towards him, exposing your sodden cunt to the warm air of the room, and the sticky mess you made along your inner thighs.

The stretch felt exquisite after an hour of being locked in place, and a soft moan spilled from your lips.

“Seems our little love really likes to be tied up,” Regulus mused, kneeling on the edge of the bed and shirking his sweater. “Drooling all over my expensive duvet,” he chastised, though his words dripped with approval.

“To be fair, I didn't make it easy on her,” James said, pressing affectionate kisses along your shoulder and neck.

“I'm sure you didn't. You're as insatiable as she is.”

James chuckled, the rumble making your tits bounce, and Regulus’ eyes darkened further. James caught his expression and dragged his hands up your body, cupping your tits, framed by a harness of lights, in his long fingers.

“So fucking pretty,” he hummed, grazing his thumbs over the hardened peaks, making your back bow as pleasure zapped through you.

“Like a piece of art,” Regulus added, lowering his face between your legs, his black curls tickling your thighs.

You fought against the ribbon in your mouth, attempting to dislodge it. James hooked a finger into the knot and unraveled it, freeing you instantly.

“Please, Reggie, please, please touch me,” you whined, knowing how much he loved to hear you beg.

“What do you think, Jamie?” Regulus asked, dragging the tip of his nose along your sensitive skin, breathing you in.

“I think she might combust if you don't,” James snickered, pinching and rolling one of your nipples between his thumb and pointer finger. You arched off of him, cursing under your breath as your pussy throbbed.

“Well, we can't have that,” Regulus hummed, his breath ghosting over your slick lips before his tongue laved through you, turning your thoughts to static.

He licked up and down your pussy, skirting around your clit in a wide arc. You melted onto James' embrace, his fingers plucking at your nipples while he mouthed at your throat, sucking marks across your skin.

“Reggie,” you whined, your fingers itching to thread through his hair, to reach back and hold James, but unable to do anything it grip the tinsel that binds them.

You felt Regulus smile against you, and he finally sealed his lips to your clit, nursing softly. You nearly come undone then and there, lifting off James with a cry as sparks flash behind your eyelids.

“So sensitive,” James said, snaking one of his arms around your waist to hold you in place. “He makin’ you feel good, lovey?”

“So f-fucking good,” you moaned, throwing your head back against James shoulder.

“You taste delicious, amour,” Regulus hummed, lapping at the pool of moisture collecting at your entrance. “Sweet as honey.” Regulus sat up briefly, catching James’ chin and kissing him, licking into his mouth. You watched their tongues dance, spit and your slick mixing in their sloppy exchange, James cock pulsing with excitement against your lower back.

Regulus pulled away after a few moments, a string of spit connecting their lips before he lowered himself back between your legs.

“C'mere.” James grabbed your jaw and angled your head towards him, capturing your lips in a simmering, languid kiss, the taste of you and Regulus lingering on his tongue. His licked at your lower lip, sucking it between his teeth to nibble on the tender flesh.

You moaned into his mouth, Regulus’ tongue doing something that made your brain short circuit, pushing you that much closer to your peak.

Regulus made a low hum in his throat. James broke the kiss to look down at him between your legs, his lips swollen and shiny with spit, eyes blown wide with affection.

“Gonna come for him, sweet thing? Shit—you’re trembling, love. Doing so good, Reggie.” James carded his fingers through Regulus' hair, and he leaned into his touch, practically purring with contentment against your sex.

It was so tender, so indulgent, you felt like you were glowing brighter than the Christmas lights, the most delicious heat spilling through you.

Regulus increased his tempo, so eager to make you come on his tongue while James held you together, soothing and loving on you both through the rising tide.

“Oh, god…f-fuck, m’gonna come. Yes, yes, yes!” You cried out as your orgasm rocked through you, electric pleasure frying your fragile nerves, making you twitch and convulse in James’ arms.

“Atta girl. Worth the wait, hm?" James praised, holding you tightly as your body shuddered through it, Regulus lapping up every drop he’d wrung from you, prolonging your release.

“Beautiful, amour,” Regulus purred when you finally settled, peppering kisses up your stomach to kiss you, his face damp from your release, cheeks flushed and eyes bright. He turned to kiss James, who dragged his tongue up Regulus' cheek to taste you.

“Switch with me,” James murmured to Regulus, sliding out from under you.

You trembled as you sat up, your body still recovering from that slow burn release, your muscles fatigued from the bondage. Regulus slipped behind you, quickly undoing the tinsel that held your arms so you could move a little more freely.

You moaned in relief as you sagged against him, stretching your arms overhead. He took one of your hands, massaging each finger gently before kissing your knuckles.

You nearly forgot about James, so fixated on Regulus’ attentive touch, until James lifted your hips, shifting you higher onto Regulus’ chest.

“Jamie, what are you—oh fuck,” Regulus loosed a strangled moan, and you felt his half-hard cock slap against your sensitive cunt, suddenly freed from his pants.

James shimmied Regulus’ jeans down his legs, tossing them aside before settling back between your thighs. Gingerly, you removed James’ glasses and set them on the end table before smoothing his curls out of his eyes.

Regulus wrapped his arms around you, one holding your hip, the other cradling your throat. Not applying pressure, just feeling your pulse, your breath, under his fingers. He kissed along your cheek, licking at the shell of your ear.

“You know how much you mean to me?” He murmured, skimming your jaw with his thumb so you looked at him.

“Enough that you'll tolerate our festive shenanigans?” You grinned, pecking his cheek.

“Even more than that,” he hummed, pressing a loose, light as air kiss to your lips. Suddenly, his hips jerked, his teeth nearly knocking into yours. “Fucking hell, Potter—” James’ name fractured into a low groan, and you felt James nose brush your sex as he took Regulus into his mouth.

“Oh-oh,” you moaned when James lifted off Regulus to lick up your slit, his tongue dragging between the two of you. He pressed Regulus’ shaft against your slit, rocking between your slick folds as he began thrusting against James’ mouth, the combined friction making your eyes cross.

“Merlin, so f-fucking good, babe. So wet and warm,” Regulus moaned into the side of your neck, his lips latching onto your skin and sucking.

You weren't sure who he was talking to, but both you and James preened at the approval, James emboldened in his efforts to feast on you both simultaneously.

If anyone could pull off such a sexual feat, it was James Fleamont Potter.

You tightened your grip on James’ hair and reached your other hand up to hold Regulus, sliding your fingers into the damp curls at his nape. The contact kept you grounded while James worked to send your body to the moon.

“I wish you two could see this,” James said after coming up for air, breathless and starry-eyed. “So fuckin’ hot seeing you both dripping.”

Regulus made a whimpering sound in his throat, his hips canting up with a little more insistence.

“Jamie, want him inside me,” you begged, rocking your hips in time with Regulus’ movements.

“Fuck, please, amour,” Regulus' added, and James gave a smug grin, his plan having come to perfect fruition.

It never failed to amaze you how quickly the always-cool Regulus Black would fall apart under your or James' touch. How quickly you could work his Royal Highness into brainless, desperate putty.

Not that you were in any position to talk, James was the only one of you who could keep a level head during sex. Which was why he often was the one to take the lead once you got into it.

You watched James grip Regulus’ cock, stroking him a few times. “Lift your hips, lovey,” he said, and Regulus lifted you for him, gripping your hips . James lined the two of you up, and with a nod, Regulus speared you slowly onto his length.

Your eyes rolled back in your head, his cockhead grazing every delicious inch of your channel before bumping against your cervix, the feeling of fullness wonderfully intense.

Regulus moaned, a string of mumbled french spilling from his lips as your pussy sucked him deeper, soft and pulsing around his rigidity.

“Such a good girl,” James praised, practically drooling from his front row seat. “Taking him so well.” He leaned forward, licking a stripe from Regulus' base to your clit, and you both cried out as a new height of pleasure crescendoed, clinging to one another. You felt Regulus’ cock throb inside of you, his body trembling with the effort of holding still.

“James—” Regulus hissed through his teeth when James did it again, torturing you both.

“Fine, fine. Can you blame me? Prettiest sight I've ever fucking seen,” he said, sitting up and holding his arms out to you. “Come here, darling. Let me help you.”

Regulus eased you up onto your knees and you wrapped your arms around James, his strong arms embracing your waist as you buried your face into his neck. He smelled of sex and his spruce body wash, so very James, and you melted onto his arms, knowing he could bear your weight with ease.

You felt James nod his head, hold tightening, and Regulus snapped his hips upwards, knocking the air from your lungs.

“Oh fuck!” You cried as Regulus pounded up into you, his cock ruthlessly filling you over and over again while James kept you steady. All the sweetness cast aside in desperation.

“Good girl, that's it. Just hold onto me and take it,” James purred, reaching one of his hands down to grope your ass, delivering a stinging slap to the jiggling fat.

“Feel so fucking good,” Regulus growled, his grip on your hips hard enough to bruise. “Petite putain d'allumeuse.”

“Jamie,” you whined, struggling to vocalize the thoughts spilling from your mind while Regulus used your cunt like his personal fleshlight.

“What, lovey?” He cooed, smoothing your hair from your face.

Your mouth hung open, beautifully pink and wet. Begging to be filled.

He grazed his thumb over your lip. “You want something to suck, precious?” He dipped his thumb into your mouth and you eagerly sucked it, eyes fluttering closed. “Ah, thought so.” He stared adoringly down at you, letting you nurse for a moment before removing his hand.

“Lean forward, love,” Regulus directed, his voice rough with exertion, and James stepped off the bed, letting you fall forward off of Regulus' cock. A low growl rumbled through Regulus' as he sat up behind you, his hands gripping your ass and spreading your cheeks. “Seven fucking saints, you're gorgeous.” He dragged his tongue through your sloppy cunt before straightening, lining up his cock once more before filling you back up, hitting a new, toe-curling angle deep inside of you.

“Mmph, Reggie,” you moaned, rocking back against his hips. “So b-big.”

Regulus grabbed the remaining restraints around your torso, forcing you up onto your hands, head forward where you were greeted by James’ pretty cock, flushed pink and dripping pearls. “Open, amour,” he ordered, but your jaw was already dropping, tongue out as you looked up at James through your lashes.

James spit on your tongue, slapping his cock head against it before easing himself into the wet warmth of your mouth. “Fuuuuuuck, love,” he groaned, head falling back on his shoulders as you started to suck him, Regulus’ thrusts forcing you further down James’ shaft. Regulus was manhandling you like a puppet, using the harness of tinsel to slide you up and down his cock.

You head completely emptied then, your body taking over as they fucked you from both ends, dominating every inch of you: mind, body, and soul. The pleasure was overwhelming, winding through every inch of you until it felt like you were cracking apart, your soul spilling out for them to take.

You heard them kissing above you, moaning and growling into each other's mouths like dueling animals, pummeling you between them.

You reached a hand between your legs, your clit begging for stimulation, and you began to rub tight circles over it, moaning around James’ length as your orgasm barreled closer.

“Close, hm?” Regulus purred in your ear, his front pressing against your back, and you nodded around James’ cock, gagging on a particularly deep thrust.

“Merlin, me too,” James groaned, fisting your hair as he fucked your face, sweat gleaming on his muscular chest, his dark hair a wild mess. “Gonna come down that hot little throat—fuck!”

A jet of cum blasted against your tonsils, his cock bucking against your tongue as his orgasm washed over him, his handsome face screwed up in ecstasy.

You greedily swallowed it all, sucking him until he was trembling and crying out, his body going limp as you overstimulated him.

“Your turn,” Regulus growled, speeding up his thrusts until you collapsed onto the bed, a screaming, shaking mess as he forced an orgasm out of you, the brutality of it knocking your soul from your body, splitting your mind in half as the room fell away and you ascended.

Distantly, you felt Regulus come too, his cry broken and loud enough to vibrate your ears as he fucked his spend into your quivering channel.

He collapsed onto you, breathing raged and skin sweaty. Slowly, your brain pieced itself back together, your muscles turned to goo, your skin tingling and sensitive as James rubbed small, soothing circles over your back.

“So good, lovey. You did so well,” you heard James murmur, pressing kisses to your and Regulus’ faces while he undid the last of your bondage.

Regulus curled around you, burying his face into you back of your neck. “I take it all back, I fucking love Christmas,” he mumbled, reaching out to tug James into the cuddle.

“I knew it,” James grinned, pulling your head onto his chest and wrapping an arm around you both, your legs tangled together. He twined his fingers with Regulus’ hand on your hip, guiding them to rest over his thundering heart.

“I think you just love pussy,” you teased, lazily grinding your ass against Regulus.

“That too,” he huffed a laugh, nipping at your earlobe.

“Well, I love you both,” James pressed a kiss to your forehead and brought Regulus’ knuckles to his lips.

“Love you,” you hummed, kissing James’ chest.

“Je t'aime,” Regulus shifted up to kiss James before dropping a kiss to your temple. “And thank you for showing me the true meaning of Christmas.”

“Pussy?” James asked.

“Pussy,” Regulus affirmed, and you snorted a laugh.

Thanks for reading!

[grotesquevi]

fuck-fuck-fuck not being able to kiss your super hot drummer girlfriend properly ‘cause of that damn tongue piercing.

cw   #   18+, public sex, oral sex, bandmates!au, guitarist!reader, slight dumbification, vi’s hot as fuck i wont elaborate, 2.2k words of pure filth, pls take care of your fresh piercing and DONT eat your girl if its a tongue one thanks,,, art bellow by — robin-vb.

"you sure you don't want to try it out with the groupies out there?" it's a compromised position to even try to be a brat when her arm pushes you against the small space in between the piled transportation boxes behind the scenario, when her lips find yours and you cannot think of a response that's clever enough as her mouth trails an invisible path down to your jaw and you can feel the first traces of it, the metal that drags against your skin in a new, foreign sensation — "i mean, they are screaming your name, don’t you hear it?"

vi’s sure she can, but cannot bring herself to care when she lacks of decency like this. decency she should have as her hands got stuck beneath your shirt, stroking the skin that shivers beneath her touch like a chemical reaction. the concert has just ended, the fans keep screaming and demanding for more so there's no one around to make her think its a bad idea, not when you look so inviting in her arms, when your sweaty skin now feels warm in the drummer's own and it’s exactly what she needs to celebrate another successful night.

"you're not wearing a bra?" there's noise around, but vi remains unfocused, the rest comes to a second plane: of course you're not wearing a bra — "cheeky guitarist. why do you want a fan, huh? somebody else to watch? maybe she likes my piercing better than you do."

there's no real discussion at all, not when you miss her too much to even try to fight any witty comment she tosses at you when the drummer decided to get a tongue piercing out of nowhere a month ago, against your will at first cause she's unable to kiss you for the entire healing process, eat you out properly.

"fuck off, violet."

"nu-uh. nobody gets to see you this fucked but me," a problem. everything with her tends to be a problem when you first meet her years ago. "the view is reserved for my eyes only, sweetheart. let them get in line."

you knew it from before, when she knocked on your door months ago, claiming she had nowhere to go, soaking wet cause it's raining heavily and she cannot crash at the studio anymore when things get complicated with rent. treating your sofa like its heaven on earth, only an excuse to have you closer — push you against her half-asleep, wrap her arms around you in the minimal space of the squared cushions that work as an improvised mattress, you're the only one that's able to keep her alive in a cold night.

your rockstar girlfriend is an adrenaline junkie, cause she doesn't care about who could, or cannot see what she's doing behind the scenario with the promise it wont take more than ten minutes.

"what's the worst that can happen in ten minutes?"

so this whole secretive thing is getting out of hand when she's unbuckling your pants, when her saliva's visible in the flesh and vi only takes what she needs, even when it goes too far, even when her hands slide under the rough fabric of your jeans and her fingertips burn against your body. its like taking care of a thirst that she's been carrying all this time, not aware of the consequences cause she's too busy worried about your fun, your desires.

there's no way to point out she's undressing you in public, that it would take only one of the assistants to go and search for a storage box or just cross the scenario from one side to another behind the curtains to see what's happening; there's no use in hiding the need that drags you closer to her, that permission in the air when her finger circles around your clit tight and trapped in your jeans and you part your legs further apart to give her more space, more of you.

a lot can happen in ten minutes. you become aware of it now when she's all over you, unable to walk you to her dressing room when vi's too hungry to try to resist that magnetism that pulls you closer to her, insane and tangible. something explodes after all that playful games in front of the public, the damn band when you seated in her lap whispering how good she's hitting every note, how good she looks as her muscles do the effort to catch up every quick note, when her leg muscles hold enough force to make you jump each time she pushes the pedal on her right foot: hot, it’s fucking hot.

teasing her the entire concert — you really think she was going to be patient enough to wait for privacy? violet's bragging the entire day on how her appointment with her piercer went so good to the point she can now do all those things she once was forbidden with; did you really believe she wasn’t going to use it on you the first moment she gets you alone?

maybe that's why she's kneeling in front of you, why you moan as her tongue soaks down the fabric of your tee and the piercing slides against your hardened nipple making you thank on your choices of not wearing a bra, gasp cause it's much easier without underwear, safer if someone catches the filthy atrocities an impatient drummer rockstar cannot wait to do.

silver metal, you can feel it when she's placing kisses in your belly, marks that will last for the entire week when she takes their time with it — your girlfriend wants you to fall in love with it like she does, love the damn piercing like a treat she's patiently waiting to show you.

"be silent," it's a warning, but really, why for? is there a point when your moans blend with the screams outside? when the electricity is still palpable in the air and you can feel vi's mouth similar to the most delicious sin to ever exist? it's warm when her tongue traces the bones in your hips, as her lips suction the skin right over the waistband of your underwear to leave a mark she'll be able to look at every time she wants to, unbuckled pants already, you’re so pliant in her touch, reactive — "been fucking with me in the scenario all night but you can't shut up for a while? make a damn effort."

she's never mean. she's rough but she's always tender, holds you close to hear the sound of your heartbeat in her ear like a movie soundtrack, relishes on how your pulse flutters against her hand as she whispers the most filthy sentences against your ear, unspeakable lust, like the way your girlfriend looks on her knees.

it would be an utter embarrassment to fold this easily for you in any other circumstance, wear the redness on her knees like a new tattoo vi wants to get done the minute she walks away from the stadium. the grid on the floor pushes against her skin to leave new marks like the ones in your stomach, and the pain is deliciously good— she's been there before, tugging your pants down to your ankles and running her short nails against the skin of your thighs to leave a red path behind: she's been there before, enjoying you.

"vi-- someone will come in, we can go to my dressing room," the words come out choked of your throat and you understand at the same time that it's not the common adrenaline what turns you on in the first place, the subtle desire of being discovered, pry upon, but instead, the way your girlfriend whispers against your skin something about how you can take it, how you already let her go that far only to undress you this quickly hidden by some amplifiers.

you’re so good: let her keep going.

"cum on my tongue and all resentment is forgotten, i promise" what fucking resentment? what is she on? you chuckle, shit. will she bother to undress you properly? take off your already soaked panties or keep the insane behavior going? vi's smile widens at the sight of the slick underwear bare to her sight, something your girlfriend wants to hold in her memory as something dear: the darker hue that she can almost not discern in the dark but its there, filling the air in the backstage with your intoxicating scent — "be quick and no one will notice, do we have a deal?"

she could convince you to sign a contract with the devil itself, a demon sent to hold you accountable of every whispered promise you made swearing to higher forces of the universe without knowing she was listening. you're nodding, she got the most handsome cocky grin in history and you are greeted instead, by the most recent addition in her mouth.

cold, gentle and constant drag of the metal bar making their way against her your soaked underwear, and you don't even notice when she's using her hands to spread you further apart, the fabric clinging into your folds and leaving behind easy access to delve deeper, sink her face in between your legs until you're all she can breathe and taste is your fresh arousal leaking and sticking to the cotton.

"cat got your tongue?" funny. so fucking funny when her thumb find your clit already marked in your clingy underwear, stroking it with a practiced ease: she knows the rhythm you like, your own maddening course she has learned to the heart — "use that pretty mouth and answer me. you're good at that."

your rockstar girlfriend aims to please. that's why she got the tongue piercing done in the first place, cause she wants you to enjoy every second of it. a secret reward for vi herself, cause the love she feels on her stomach when your head falls backwards and she can hear the moans you're fighting to hold? should be damn studied, used as a reference for the increasing desire that manifest sticking to vi's underwear.

you understand now. the sounds outside become silent now when you distinguish the lewd, slurping sound she makes cause despite being in clear public, your girlfriend cant help but be a messy eater, dripping saliva against her chin, smearing against her face as your hips roll forward in almost an automatic proof of your need.

holding you in place, the sight of your knees shaking makes vi smile; damn right you cannot speak, damn right you move cause you're always so greedy, greedy little guitarist who's always asking for more.

swollen clit, it aches under her touch, the sensitive bundles of nerves responding to her — no need for fingers, no need to anything else more than a sinful tongue to get you there, your own hand covering your mouth to somehow stiff the moans as the other grips vi's cherry strands to hold her close to your cunt.

your bandmate satisfies your needs like no one else does, communicates with your body without having to talk with you first cause her hands now force you to move against her mouth, ground your hips against her mouth to get the perfect friction. the metal drags against your underwear, rubs between your folds and stimulates your already swollen g-point in a devastating bundle: there it fucking is.

vi can feel it too after a while, when your grip turns almost painful as you try to draw her closer: travels down your spine like a current of electricity waiting to strike. you're on the tantalizing edge of a delicious orgasm and vi's never felt more holy than in that very moment when you're biting your hand to hold in the moans of her name that threatens to be loud as hell, repeating like a prayer over and over again.

it's such an intoxicating feeling, to be wanted without an ounce of restraint.

your body convulses, and your girlfriend has to fight against the gravity to keep you standing, feasting on the white-ish discharge that now coats your underwear and she wishes to get on her tongue instead.

fucking greedy.

so how was it? everything's a problem with your bandmate/girlfriend. everything's a problem and it's so intense with her. the first make-out high on weed, the tattoo's she gave you at 3am after you both received the first paycheck, high on love, high on life, high on the devastating sound of the music.

"you think someone saw?"

"no," vi reassures you when you're using your thumb to clean the traces of you in the corners of her mouth — "what i'm really curious about, is what the tabloids will say about your flirting tonight."

"my flirting?" you question, fixing your outfit.

"do we think sitting in my lap and whisper filthy things to my ear will go unnoticed?" she chuckles likes its obvious, cause after all, it is obvious.. "i mean, even good guitarists have their limits, people can tell when you're looking at me with those eyes."

"what eyes?"

"you know what eyes. those fuck me eyes."

it's raw and unfiltered. when you kiss her vi's sweaty and it's clumsy and perfect, full of saliva, your own taste, metal and something that's uniquely your girlfriend.

ah. it was never fucking casual. you should have known from the start.

maybe it is time to tell the band, you can't really tell when vi's making you dumb on her kisses again: your girl's always playing dirty.

[pancaake101]

a femboy's plaything ૮꒰/ฅ//ฅ//꒱ა

casting: yan! femboy x reader

imp. notes!!!: im so bad at writing fics but @mcdonaldswifey had req'd it— btw this is an absolute cornfest so be aware of that b4 reading :,)

You don't know how long it's been. You're not sure if its been days, weeks, months, and god forbid, years. You've been under his care for what seems like a while now, and it's been hard to get used to. To be fair, how can you get used to this? You've been kidnapped, and by the one you trusted the most.

The door flies open and you see him run in the room, "Good morning, my lovee! We gotta get the day started!" He unlocks your chains and carries you to the bathroom. By the time you get in the bathroom you know the drill so you immediately start undressing yourself. "Hey, hey, wait! This time I wanna do it." He smirks.

Recently he's gotten in the habit of doing stuff for you. When you were first captured you did everything for yourself, the bare minimum actually. He'd make the food, but you'd feed it to yourself. He'd start the bath, but you would clean yourself. He would get the clothes, but you'd dress yourself. It was all routine until recently.

As he undresses you, you couldn't help but notice his stares. The way his eyes would linger a lil' too long on your chest, the way he'd keep his hands on your butt for a few more seconds longer than needed. It was creepy, and yet he says he saved you from being assaulted by creeps at the cafe, yeah right. "Okay! Time to get in the bath!" As you sat in the bath, he started to clean you himself. It was very awkward, well at least on your end.

You had done an audibly sigh of relief when bath time was over and you got to go back to the basement. It was boring there but still, at least you weren't in the bathroom full of humidity and awkward tension, it felt scary knowing you were completely vulnerable to his touch. As you dried off and got to lotion yourself (mostly him doing the lotioning), he goes to grab an outfit for you. "Ok, so I know you usually pick out the outfit you want to wear, but this time I picked one out for you!"

"There! I'm done dressing you!,, Aren't you the cutest little thing?" He says while angling you towards the mirror. You like the outfit, its cute you can admit, but the logic of him dressing you up is completely lost on you. You don't even go anywhere! Plus, he dresses you up just to end up taking it all off during the night. Despite all the frills, the elaborate designs with the huge poofs, and the complex ways to put it on, it was confusing to you as to why he never allowed you to put on underwear. It's so weird feeling a breeze despite having such big and sweat inducing outfit on—It's embarrassing even! But there's no reasoning with him. He always says that underwear would just make things complicated.

౨ৎ

[bigfatbreak]

Does Chloe tone down her direct bullying/harassment of Marinette after that day to just the dead mom jokes out of guilt, or is it more that Marinette now being homeschooled means Chloe just lost access? Also, does Lila try the whole lying/sabotaging thing on Marinette and just fail or does Marinette just not care?

Lila has no reason to sabotage Marinette because Marinette isn't threatening her little empire she wants to build. In fact, she really wants Marinette on her side BECAUSE she's not apart of the school, so she doesn't need to keep up an elaborate web of lies! She can just try to befriend a talented girl who makes AMAZING food and try to get freebies~

meanwhile, with Chloe, things got really complicated after the pool incident...

Tom was not in the mood to put up with this crap.

[waytootiredstudent]

Why the CDU/CSU can go fuck itself

Time for another one of these. a quick(ish) summary for all the non-german speakers about why we're freaking out and the state of our democracy.

Spoiler. its not...good. Not catastrophic (yet). But the alarm bells are very, very loud.

Tl;dr: The CDU, party currently prognosed to win the election, has basically worked together with the afd to get a migrationbill to pass that is very strict. The afd are the nazi party that is getting backed by Musk. This might forshadow a cooperation between AFD and CDU. That would put the far right in power. The current response from the general public are demonstrations against that. Like. there are a LOT of protests currently.

Alright grab a drink and lets go.

First, groundwork: Who are parties and who is the guy we currently all want to punch in the face?

on top: Careful, risk of confusion. on the left: on the board of a sleazy cooperation. not interested in the enviroment. Real. On the right: on the board of a sleazy cooperation. not interested in the enviroment. comic figure.

This guy here is Friedrich Merz. no, not the guy on the right. the guy on the left. I know. Easy mistake to make.

He's an asshole. He's also the current boss of the CDU and their chancellor candidate. He's very likely to win according to recent polls.

The CDU has a complicated history, but to simplify it: They were in charge for sixteen years before the now broken apart Traffic-light goverment and are responsible for a lot of shit that we're currently dealing with. Like crumbling infrastructure for example. They were more interested, as a party, to preserve the status quo at all costs, than to invest anything. You could argue that a lot of the enviromental issues we are facing and the reason why Germany is currently pretty stagnant, can be traced back to the one and a half decade the CDU was in charge. They are conservative, not a fan of migration and like to throw around 'tradtional values'.

They are, generally speaking, or better were, center right. More on that later.

The other party that is going to be a major pain in the ass to outright fucking dangerous, is the AFD, short for 'Alternative for Germany'.

this is Alice Weidel, she's the current chancellor candidate for the afd. here is her wikipedia article and lets just say her 'controversies' part is longer than her 'political positions' part.

Those are the, to put it bluntly, Nazis. They are dangerous but also a fucking mess. Like, to just list a few of their hits: They've been getting money from dictators (different ones btw, not just one), infigthing is a sport to them, they try to glorify the nazi-regime, the german intelligence agency is watching them because they are officially considered radical right-wing and a threat to democracy, there is a petition to ban the afd and that is a high bar to cross, the demonize immigrants, hate queer people, you know, the usual. Also of course political correctness has gone too far and climate change isn't real and we need to leave the EU. Elon Musk, you know the rich guy who did the Nazi-salute, also has been appearing and is actively supporting them. Just in case we were unclear before on where they all stand.

(btw the whole 'elon is supporting them' thing is pretty scary bc you could argue the reason that the afd is able to win so many votes is bc, frankly, they're good at social media. Do i need to elaborate why that is a dangerous combination.)

to put them into perspective: The afd is too right for the other alt-right parties in the EU parlament. There is a coalition in the EU Parlament for the right, made up of all the right wing parties from other nations and the afd is too right for them. So. yeeeeaaah.

that should do it as background information.

Now. back to current events. where both of these parties are getting more and more support.

For a short history of why we currently have a non-functioning goverment, i made a post about that. Be aware that it was made as a product of its time and doesn't have all the information. For example back then we didn't know that FDP had actively engineered that break up and wanted it to happen for a while. Yes. They wanted to topple the goverment they were in. on purpose. It's been a fun time over here in Germany as well.

anyways, lets get to the meat of things. Since we don't have a functional goverment currently, Merz has introduced a harsh migration bill. This has been in the wake of an attack with two murders, where the current suspect is a migrant. while this is a tragedy, its getting brutally misused by all out rightwing parties to scream about how we need stricter migration laws and that migrants are a danger. Which to be so fucking clear about this, is such bullshit. It's been proven so many times how that is bullshit. I'm gonna be real and not even bother. They're just the newest scapegoats everything can be blamed on.

But because nobody has a majority, all attempts at governing so far have been pretty stalled.

(our goverment currently)

Quick information from the past:

in 2018 the CDU basically stated they wouldn't, in any sort of way, cooperate with the AFD, declaring basically a Brandmauer (fire wall). This basically means that yes, the afd had been given seats in the parlament, but nobody would give them any power whatsoever.

This has been the position of the cdu. It is why people still considered them center-right.

Merz has repeatedly said he didn't care who voted with him. now with a slight majority, 348 to 344, the cdu has won, with the support of the afd. Many see this as the fall of the Brandmauer. It's not good. Merz has more and more talking points that sound exactly like the afd and that is SCARY. There is still a vivid memory alive here about why having a far-right goverment is dangerous. There is a reason why there are currently a lot of massive protests all over the country loudly proclaiming that 'never again is now'.

This also puts for many the cdu from 'center right' to 'right'. There are calls from inside the cdu to 'stop demonizing the afd'. This is scary. This could mean that we get not just a conservative goverment in a few weeks, but a rightwing one. One who is comfortable cooperating with radical right wingers if it suits their needs. To cooperate with a party that even our own intelligence agencies consider a threat to our democrazy.

So. that is why your german mutuals sit there like

Now. To another part. What exactly is that migration bill merz had wanted to pass so desperateldy?

Well first of all it calls for a national emergency, using the beforementioned murder as reasoning, for the danger of immigration. It calls for closing and controls at the borders permanently, not temporary as is curently the case. They want for people without valid ID to be refused entry, even when they are searching safety. People that are already in Germany but need to leave should be thrown in jail until they actually leave.

Which. just to be clear about this. this what the bill they had, that had the support of the afd, says. This is not a wish list. This what they want to be law.

But to be also clear, lots of this is against our current law, against Basic EU law and principle and also a pretty big violation of our constituation.

Which is what makes this situation so fatal. This bill is going to be fought. In court, in politics, with demonstrations on the streets. this bill is controversial. Merz knew that. he knew that a lot of this wouldn't pass. This is a publicly stunt. This is testing the waters. How much will the public allow? how far can he push? Is cooperation with the afd possible for him? How does everyone react?

It was never about immigration or that bill. All the people this is going to impact, all the lives that are going to be lost because of this shit they are pulling - this is to them all just collateral. Its testing how much is possible, tolerated even. The chances of this bill making it law is slim. It needs to pass again in a different body of the goverment with a two thirds majority and that is nowhere in sight.

Also, lets take a look at who voted what:

it was about four votes. So my german friends who also read this - look at this and be aware of who voted what. Who abstained to vote and gave up the four votes it would have taken to stop this. who accepted that to get what they want they would need to get the support of the afd, no matter how much Merz now claims that he still doesn't cooperate with the afd and that there were no talks between them. Look at the numbers. Look how and with who they voted.

To be frank, i am pretty pissed off. I don't think much about wallowing in self-pity and despair. i am pissed off about what is happening. i am pissed off that these people don't have a spine, i am pissed off at the FDP for enabling this in the first place, i am pissed off that we have Nazis in out goverment, i am pissed off that we have people who are willing to cooperate with them. I am pissed off that i need to settle for damage control instead of being able to see something finally move forward.

Now here we come to the less depressing part of this whole thing. And i want you to pay attention to it.

People are protesting. loudly. And in the thousands. There have been ten to a hundred thousands of people all over the country in the last week, protesting against the rise of faschism and the far right. Its all over the country, in different cities. Where the afd appears to talk, so do the protesters. There are 35 afd people to 1300 protesters. People loudly say 'never again is now'. And they show up to back that claim up.

This shit is vile, yes, but it's not going to be unopposed.

I know this all reads as depressing as fuck but do not give into the temptation of falling into despair. This is far from over. Yes those are the alarm bells and they are ringing loudly. But there is still things that can be done. Don't let the afd lure you into thinking this all pointless anyways. It's not. This is all not good, yes, but no reason to fall into blind panic. The bill isn't law yet. Merz is facing massive backlash for his little stunt. This is not a hopeless situation. It's just a shitty one.