#thought forward hypersexuality

[masquerade-flags]

Thought Forward/Focused Hypersexuality, Action Forward/Focused Hypersexuality, and Dual Forward/Focused Hypersexuality flag.

Thought Forward/Focused Hypersexuality - hypersexuality that's mostly as thoughts, or the thoughts cause more distress and/or impairment than actions.

Action Forward/Focused Hypersexuality - hypersexuality that's mostly as actions, or the actions cause more distress and/or impairment than thoughts.

Dual Forward/Focused Hypersexuality - hypersexuality where there is no clear majority between thoughts and actions, in terms quantity and level distress and/or impairment.

Symbol from 1 2 and 3

(Obligatory disclaimer: hypersexuality is NOT an orientation(though it can affect one's orientation), "the opposite of asexual", just having a high libido, or only experiencing distress because of social sigma around sex.)

In terms of meaning

The overall cool color scheme of Thought Forward/Focused is because blues and purples are often associated with the mind and thought. The overall warm color scheme of Action Forward/Focused is because warm colors are often associated with action. Dual Forward/Focused is a combination of the other two.

Miss spelled "impairment" as "impermeant" on the meaning guides, sorry

[lancerslover]

the swim lesson

pairing: president!john f. kennedy/petite!innocent!secretary!reader

summary: when president john f. kennedy finds out you can’t swim, he generously offers to teach you how in the white house pool

warnings: 18+, smut, dubious consent, age gap, antiquated views on gender norms and appropriate workplace behavior

word count: 2.6k

a/n: hi my angels! this fic is a long overdue response to a request i received months ago. it’s not my best work but i hope you all still like it a least a little lol….also, the beautiful moodboard for this fic was made by the lovely @vintagedebutante <3

“I don’t have all day now, Y/N.”

You glance up at the President. You sigh, and he chuckles.

You’ve been standing in the same spot in the White House pool for ten minutes now, nervously hopping from foot to foot on the little ledge where the slippery floor begins to tip down into the deep end. Even though the President is grinning playfully at you, the words he just said send anxious sparks through your body. He has a point—he doesn’t have all day. Judging by what you know about his schedule today, he probably only has about fifteen minutes before he has to head back into the Oval Office. And that means, at some point over the next fifteen minutes, you’ll have no choice but to finally move forward in the pool.

You’ve always had an irrational fear of water. Something about submerging your entire body in liquid—how it slops slimily at your skin and pulls you deeper and deeper—has never sat right with you. And when the President found out you felt this way during one of his daily chats with you and the other girls in the secretaries’ office, he vowed to help you conquer your fear and teach you to swim. At first, you thought his offer was nothing more than a kindly, chivalrous display of workplace friendship, but the other secretaries had a different theory. After the President walked away, they told you that they thought the only reason he wanted to teach you to swim is because your fear of water is the one thing standing in the way of you joining the rest of the girls in the skinny-dipping parties he holds in the pool. Apparently, he had been asking them lately why you never come out to swim. After all, he always explicitly tells whichever young lackey is in charge of carting his girls around to send all the young secretaries down.

“But—but why should he care if I’m there?” you squeaked after the girls explained this whole thing to you.

“He must have a particular liking for you,” one of the girls named Marcia replied, smirking, with a fake-casual shrug.

“Or maybe he just can’t be satisfied until he’s seen every one of his secretaries naked,” a secretary named Lizzie said with a wry laugh as she filed one of her long pink fingernails. “You know how men like him are.”

You do not, in fact, know how men like him are. You don’t really know how any men are, actually. The extent of your experience with the male species consists of the time you shyly kissed your prom date back in high school and the few milkshake diner dates you went on in college. All of this free-wheeling, hypersexual, skinny-dipping stuff people are apparently doing nowadays—people who didn’t grow up as a cloistered Catholic school girl, that is—is completely new to you.

Needless to say, you have complicated feelings about finally attending these skinny-dipping parties. You’ve never been naked in front of anyone, obviously, let alone in front of several of your coworkers and the President, who your entire family worships—he is the first man to represent your religion in the country’s highest office, after all—and who you’ve always been taught is the perfect American role model, and who you’ve had a crush on ever since you saw the “Senator John. F Kennedy Story” special on TV back in ‘58. The idea of being intimate with him in any way—but especially in such a public way—honestly makes you want to vomit. But at the same time, you can’t seem to stop your body from clenching up with jealousy every time the other secretaries flounce back into the office from the pool and tell you all the slick, wet, handsy details of their most recent skinny-dipping escapade. One time, apparently, one of the girls had started to slowly strip-tease in front of the President and then he grew impatient and rolled his eyes and yanked her into the water while she was still in her underwear. Another girl was once cornered against the pool wall by the President, and when she teasingly tried to swim away, he caught her by the ankle and pulled her back against him.

So, when the President offered to teach you to swim—and essentially offered you a one-way ticket to start taking part in these skinny-dipping parties yourself—you gave it some long, hard thought and ultimately decided that you were more sick of feeling jealous than you were scared of being naked in front of everyone. Maybe this was a sign, you thought, that it was time to finally shed your goody-two-shoes skin and do something exciting for once, like all the other girls.

Today is your very first swim lesson, and, sadly, the road to overcoming your fear has proven longer than you optimistically first hoped. Over the past ten minutes, the President has only managed to get you to come as far as waist-deep in the pool. You’re starting to feel terribly guilty for being so slow at this. This is the most important man in the world. The young, fearless King Arthur of America. He stares out from the cover of every newspaper, keeping a protective eye on his subjects. He practically shines with power. Wherever he goes, a legion of men in suits march after him, whispering in his ear, tripping over themselves to keep up—and you’re taking up his precious time with this nonsense.

“You’re going into the deep end whether you like it or not,” the President tells you now with an encouraging pat on your butt underwater. The other girls always act like it’s nothing when he touches you all like this, and you understand that apparently it’s just the normal sort of thing bosses do to their young female employees, but with the President, it makes your heart spit fire every time.

You feel like an indignant child, looking up at him in your frumpy one-piece White-House-issue swimsuit that’s so big it sags around your hips and chest. Despite your nervousness, you still pray the swimsuit’s unflattering shape won’t make him change his mind about wanting you to skinny-dip.

“Yes,” you say to the President. “Alright.” You suddenly feel how wide your eyes are as you continue to look at him. You must look like a deer in headlights. You blink rapidly to try and relax your face. “Here I go. Just…don’t let go of me, okay?” You try your best to sound as offhand and casual as you possibly can while saying something like this.

The President’s grin twitches in that cute little contemplative way it always does before he says something teasing, but then he seems to notice the genuine fear in your eyes because his smile suddenly softens, and he lets his head fall slightly to the side as he looks down at you. “I won’t, sweetie,” he says. The hair on the back of your neck buzzes at this rare gentle side of him. Amazingly, you suddenly feel a tad less scared.

“Alright,” you say again. You take a deep breath. It’s time.

You brace your legs, steeling yourself to step forward. Come on, you idiot, you tell yourself. The President’s not going to let you drown, for heaven’s sake.

The President must feel you preparing to step out into the deep end because suddenly you feel his big hands slide around your hips, ready to keep you afloat, like he promised. At his touch, your stomach flips with a dizzying intensity that almost knocks you out of breath. The thought flashes through your mind, not for the first time, that maybe it wasn’t such a good idea to accept lessons in such an anxiety-inducing task from such an anxiety-inducing man.

Paired with the stress you’ve already been feeling, your sudden arousal ignites a panicky burst of adrenaline in you, and before you know it, your legs have a jittery mind of their own and you can’t handle being this close to the President any longer—and you’re lunging out into the churning blue abyss.

For a crashing, water-logged moment, you’re pretty sure you’re starting to drown. You’re blinded by the white wave your body kicks up as you fall forward. An embarrassing gasp of horror leaves your mouth and you clamp your eyes shut. But just as your head is about to go under, you feel the strong hands on your hips stiffen, and you’re being lifted back up so that both your head and shoulders are above water.

“Woah there,” you faintly hear the President say. “You’re alright, Y/N, you’re alright.”

You open your eyes at his voice, and you realize with a disoriented jolt of surprise that everything is completely fine. You’re instinctively treading water now, just like the President taught you to, as he holds you at the waist like an instructor at a swim school. He’s so close to you that your arm brushes against his fuzzy chest hair. You feel yourself starting to blush, and you stare at the blue, nautical-themed wall in front of you, willing your face to cool down.

“Well, wouldja look at that, you’re in the deep end,” the President jokes from above you, “and you’re still alive to tell about it.”

You do your best to force out a laugh, but it comes out shaky and choked. “I suppose I am,” you say quickly then, to try and cover up how scared you still sound. It’s really not so bad now that you’re here, except for the fact that your heart is still clanging in your ears, and you suddenly notice that the shoulder straps of your ridiculous swimsuit seem to have fallen down slightly around your upper-arms.

Before you have time to fix it, you notice the President is adjusting his hold on you, and you forget about the straps completely. He moves to keep you afloat with just one solid arm around your waist and places his other hand flat against your stomach. You only have a moment or two to wonder why this change was necessary before your question is answered—the hand on your stomach slowly starts to slide downwards.

“Oh!” is all you manage to say. Your lower body floods with such powerful, gushing warmth that, for a horrifying moment, you think you’ve peed yourself.

“Oh?” the President teases. His voice still has that warm, reassuring, rumbling quality, as if he thinks this is the most natural thing in the world, as if this is what’s supposed to happen to a girl when she gets this close to a man. “This here is a crucial part of the lesson, Y/N,” he chuckles, as his long fingers start to rub up and down between your legs. Your stomach clenches in a spasm of pleasure. “Relax, sweetie,” the President tells you.

“But… Mr. President…” You trail off as, surprisingly, you find yourself doing as he told you. Your shoulders soften and your thighs loosen up to allow his hand more room. Yet you’re completely stunned by the President’s behavior, and frankly a little appalled. Yet your body doesn’t seem to care. The President must have some kind of magical, hormonal effect on women, you think. It would explain a lot. It’s the only way, frankly, to rationally explain why your body is so eagerly opening itself up. You wonder if this was the President’s plan all along, if this is why he wanted to get you into the deep end, so he could get you in a position where he could hold you still and touch you however he wanted.

You look up at him then for the first time since you flailed over into the deep end, hoping to meet his eyes and find more of that warm reassurance, but you’re disappointed to find that he’s not looking into your eyes, but down at something beneath your chin instead. Slowly, you tip your head down, following his gaze, and you notice, with a gasp, that the President is pulling your swimsuit straps the rest of the way down, exposing your entire upper body.

Immediately, you bring your hands up to fix the straps, but the President moves to rub one of your exposed breasts, barring your hands out of the way with his hairy forearm.

“It’s really quite cruel,” he says in your ear, in his dark, teasing way, “that you’ve been keeping all of this from me for so long.”

You’re completely frozen, except for your toes, which curl incessantly as he gives your breast a startlingly rough squeeze, and then pinches and pulls on the nipple. Then he takes his time rubbing his hand across your chest and does the same thing to your other breast. As he does, he re-adjusts his grip around your waist, hoisting you up a little higher out of the water and jostling you probably a little more aggressively than he needed to, purposefully causing your breasts to bounce. You tilt your head back against him, just in time to feel a barely-detectable groan of enjoyment shake his chest.

Suddenly, you hear the door at the far end of the pool room swish open. In a whiplash reversal of emotions, your body seizes with intense fright. What if it’s one of your male coworkers? What would they think if they saw you like this? Or worse—what if it’s the First Lady? Despite your fear, you try to look behind you to see who exactly it is that just walked in, but you can’t see a thing over the President’s towering shoulders. Frantically, you decide instead to pull your swimsuit back up—regardless of who it is, you certainly don’t want them seeing you half-naked—but when you look down, you see that the President is already pulling your neckline back into its proper position, with incredible calmness, as if he was simply putting his shoes on to head outside.

“Mr. President, sir,” says a man’s deep, no-nonsense voice behind you then. “You’re needed in the Situation Room.”

You recognize the voice—it’s just a Secret Service agent. You slump over with relief. The Secret Service are all well aware of the President’s many affairs and have been sworn to secrecy.

In response, the President sighs. “Alright,” he says to the agent. “I’ll be right there.” Then you hear the curt click of Secret Service footsteps, followed by the door opening and swishing shut once again. In the proceeding echo-y silence, you can’t help but wonder what exactly the Secret Service agent saw of you. Certainly, he could tell that the President had a woman with him—hopefully, though, the President’s body had shielded you enough that the man couldn’t see over him and identify who the woman was.

The President breaks the silence then. “Duty calls,” he says with a sigh. You feel him turn his head down to face you again, and you look up to meet his dancing aquamarine eyes. You smile and nod understandingly, feeling, after all you’ve just experienced, like you’ve just finished a marathon.

Gently, the President floats you back into the shallow end and sets you back on the pool floor. Then he slips his arm out from around you. Instantly, you feel very cold without him against you—goosebumps prickle up along your skin, and you wish, desperately, that you could ask him not to leave. You want to laugh at yourself.

As the President is backing towards the pool stairs, he says to you, “I expect to see you down here more regularly from now on, with the other secretaries.”

The reminder that you can have another chance to feel his body on yours—and his hungry hands all over you—causes your dying smile to flutter back to life. “Why, yes, Mr. President,” you say. “I’ll be there.”

taglist:

@evie-gets-bitches

@kennediva

@secretwonderlandcheesecake

@melancholicstation

@southernpopprincess

@maudesgf

@neverellaxx11

@astro-vibes-bro

@h-l-vlovesvintage

@fortheloveofjos

@saturns-flowers

@raspberryknees

[shini--chan]

Can I have yandere Germany and Prussia with a reader who is hyper sexual? BUT she hates them so she kinda finds another way to keep herself uhhhhh occupied- I am sorry if this is too straight forward!

Yandere Hetalia (Germany, Prussia) - Nymphomaniac

Trigger warnings: sexual disorder, gore, non-consensual operations, sexual punishments

Prussia wouldn't tolerate such behaviour at all. At first, he'd just think that this is you being hedonistic because your mind has been poisoned by modern bullshit. As such, you would just be locked away in the house. Cold showers and sparse meals for you for the next few weeks. If you like being naked so much, why not take all your clothes away. Additionally, he would fetch your flings and kill them in front of you. Perhaps he'd slit their throat(s) so that all their blood would spray on you. The thought here would be to shock you out of your hypersexuality. 

Should that not work, then he would mark it as an addiction and treat it as such. That would mean a field trip for the two of you. No other people in the radius of a few kilometers and you would be reliant on him. Thus, you could learn to love him and trust his judgement. Also, with you being so focused on survival, you would have the time or energy to indulge in your addiction 

If all that fails, then he would have you sterilised. There wouldn't be a word lost about it towards you, and the most warning you would get would be only getting water for 24 hours before that. Chances are, that you would be even that lucky - he could have your stomach emptied at the hospital or also order you to be bound to a head. Siring children wouldn't be a priority and castrated pets are more agreeable and easier to handle anyway. 

With Germany, it could go several ways. Should he become the sole subject of your libido, then he would be overjoyed. Both of you would travel along a downwards spiral where you would feed into each other's behaviour. Welcome to hell. Ludwig wouldn't be above using your addiction to make you bow to his wishes and forcing you to stay with him. 

Should you sleep around…well. He would have a breakdown and you'd be locked in his cellar. The dude would be sent to the other side of the country and you'd be shown the breakup text. If he'd catch you red handed, then he would beat the offender black and blue. You would be shackled to a wall and put in a chasity belt. In the case that he'd be feeling particularly wronged, he would put a vibrator in you and leave it running for two days or three. That should surely put you off sex for a while. 

Else, a lobotomy might be on the table. It would pain him to erradicate your personality, yet sacrifices would have to be made so that the two of you can be in a functioning relationship. Of course, maybe the threat of lobotomy would scare you into behaving. Speaking of threats, he could also go the route of telling you that the lives of your loved ones are on the line if you don't stop being a slut. Somebody's life, or your pleasure, which would it be? 

[amica-aenigmata-naboo]

Hypersexual

Astarion x Y/N - drabble - 1K WC

Masterlist

Warnings: reference to SA if you squint?, Astarion being soft, reader being defensive af, persistent Astarion, happy ending because I'm weak

————————————

It was one of the first things Astarion noticed about you. Your bed was rarely empty. The Grove, the Goblin Camp, the Underdark, Moonrise Towers, etc. Everywhere you went you seemed to have a warm body beside you by the end of the night. Himself included. He pined for your attention. Feeding from you daily brought you close, sleeping with you brought you closer, opening up bit by bit brought you even closer. And yet, he could still find the occasional rando leaving your tent at first light. If he listened closely enough, he could almost always hear sniffles coming from your tent every time someone left. He typically ignored it, opting to not care so he didn’t get attached. Unfortunately for him, he was attached. He had been for a while and seeing people leave your tent was like a knife to the chest every time. He wanted to confront you eventually, so that's what he did. 

He walked over to your tent, hearing the sniffles intensify the closer he got. When he peered inside he saw your naked form, balled up tight, sobbing quietly. He saw the hickies and claw marks the tiefling from last night had left on you. “Y/N?” he whispered.

You swiftly wiped your tears away as you moved to cover yourself up. “Astarion, darling. It’s so early, is everything alright?” You threw on the best smile you could manage while willing yourself to shed no more tears. 

“Why are you crying?” he asked as he moved into your tent fully.

“Tears of pleasure.” you waved him off, doing your best to sound lustful.

“You’re a terrible liar, my sweet.” he said as he sat opposite from you but still giving you space. 

You sighed, rolling your eyes, “Why do you care anyways?” you cringed internally, that sounded harsher than you intended. 

Astarion’s eyes softened a bit, “Because I care for you.” he said honestly. 

“Because I’m your blood bag,” you scoffed. “Worry not, I’m well enough for you to feed so… get on with it I guess.” you said as you tucked your hair behind your ear, leaning in for him to chomp down on your pulse point. 

Yet you felt nothing but the cold night air. Your eyes found his after a moment of hesitation. “What?” you said.

“You are so much more than food.” he said, a guilty look on his face. Is that all you thought of him? Somebody using you? “Why do you sleep with them?” he asked suddenly, trying to connect the dots in his head.

Your eyes widened, “It’s none of your business.” you said, your voice wavering. “I like sex, so why not?” your eyes avoided his, afraid he would see the truth in them. 

“Terrible liar.” he whispered, his foot tapping against your knee trying to get your attention. 

“Because it makes it all hurt a little less!” you yelled, his consistent questioning pushing you over the edge. “Because it fills the fucking void somebody put inside me. They used me, they hurt me. So if I can be desired, even for a moment, I will.” you felt tears stream down your cheeks as Astarion watched you, his mouth slightly agape. “This horrible feeling sits inside me like tar. Black and oozing and there is nothing I can do to fix it. I sleep with them because I want to know I can still be desired if I cannot be loved.”

“Who said you cannot be loved?” he said, leaning forward to wipe a tear from your face with his thumb.

“I… I just can’t… nobody can love me after what they did to me. Taking my body, playing with it while I just laid there… frozen. I thought they loved me…” you mumbled, memories from your past flooding you. 

“I love you.” he said simply.

Your head whipped up to gaze at him, “You don’t even know what love is Astarion.” you turned away from him so he couldn’t see you cry. 

“On the contrary… I have seen lust. I did it for 200 years. But this ache I have inside me, the longing I have for you and only you. That, I believe, is love. And… I like to imagine you feel the same way.” Astarion put a hand on your shoulder, moving slowly when you initially flinched away. 

“How can you love me? Aren’t you disgusted?” you whimpered. You wanted to believe him so badly, but how could you? You were made to be used. 

Astarion shifted so he could see you as he tilted your quivering chin upwards. “For sleeping with others? Darling I have bedded thousands.” he rubbed your cheek reassuringly. 

“That’s different. You didn’t have a choice.” you said, your voice coming out strained.

“I would argue that you didn’t either. When someone violates you like that… I’ve seen it go two ways. You overindulge, or you isolate. Both are natural reactions. Yours was to try and find solace, penance in others. None of it is shameful… it’s just… how things are I suppose.” he said, struggling a bit to find the right words but you felt the connection he was trying to make. 

“Each of them took a little piece of my soul… I’m not sure how much is left of me to give.” you shuddered in a breath, trying to calm yourself. 

“I don’t want your soul… All I ask is your heart, in exchange for mine.” he smiled at you, moving to hold your hand while he cupped your cheek. You had never seen eyes with so much sincerity and kindness. 

“I… I’d like that.” you whisper, leaning your forehead against his for a moment before your eyes opened once again with worry. “Do we have to…” you motioned between the two of you and the bedroll.

“Not until you want to. Completely, freely.” he nodded at you.

“And if I never want to?” you asked cautiously.

“Then I will love you all the same.” he leaned in slightly. He could feel your breath on his lips but waited for you to close the gap. 

You kissed him softly. He could feel the fear and apprehension in your kiss. While you felt the patience and adoration in his.

-------------------

Naboo's Note:

Hello lovelies! Hope ya'll like this one as well. Two in one night? What a deal lol I really like this one. Is it a bit of a trauma dump? Yes but writing is how I get it out and Astarion would 10000% comfort me through any of it. We love a supportive king. What a guy. Anyways! - be safe everyone, see ya'll soon!

[mazzystar24]

i feel like im in the minority who don���t want eddie to have a slut era in general like… idk even without chris it feels so ooc for him to me, like i feel like he’s so far repressed at this point that if he didn’t wind up with buck he would end up just living the bachelor’s life…

and like i feel like that was the whole point of not having eddie and tommy be the couple this season was bc it wouldn’t make sense for eddie to step forward in that way unless it was buck… or at least that’s what i interpreted the initial decision to swap the storylines to be so maybe i’m wrong

i guess after six years i’m just tired of them dragging their feet and i’m sick of them giving them meaningless relationships with zero chemistry rather than just letting them be happy… and giving eddie a slut era would just feel like they’re rehashing buck 1.0 and i’m tired of them reusing plotlines they’ve already used for other characters (and even giving characters the same plotlines again)

like eddie can be gay without having a slut era and i kinda would like them to not play into the hypersexual queer stereotype since they’ve decided to do so w buck

One thing is 3am me is a gremlin and I don’t like her or her brain (that was the time I made that post) also she just likes to make fun of annoying people but so do I and I had seen TOO many posts talking about a straight slut era for Eddie so hence the chaos gremlin post

Normal me’s thoughts on this:

• the reason I don’t like slut era as gay Eddie canon for Eddie is like you said it’s a bit ooc but also imo like I feel like BECAUSE he’s so repressed it’d take a really meaningful and impactful relationship to give him the like motivation/push he needs to get him outta that closet (which was my same reasoning for why I was glad they didn’t do Eddie/tommy like they originally planned- cos buck just never realised it but Eddie like actively represses it and has much more like in depth reasons for it- like buck wasn’t so much in the closet as he just thought that was his room meanwhile Eddie is like in a super bolted chained Houdini level closet)

• I mentioned in the tags but I want to be FLABBERGASTED when buddie canon happens I want to let out an audible scream in shock and wake up my neighbours and realise it only after I get a noise complaint and if they make them both canonically queer it’d feel like a matter of time (funnily enough i said this but about making ONE of them queer when the bi buck rumours were going around and legit the next week or so we get 7x04 and I was right - true I didn’t anticipate bt fans and the fact that it doesn’t feel FULLY inevitable- but fingers crossed I am psychic again and we get gay Eddie)

• while I think the fact it’s so ooc would be interesting because like it’d show how Chris leaving is affecting him I feel like it’d also be a huge disservice to Eddie because his queer arc and experiences deserve better than like strangers and one night stands as a coping mechanism if you get me

• if I’m fully honest even if his queer arc doesn’t end up perfect I just want him to be canon like it wouldn’t be my ideal like honestly if they do a disservice to him I’d hate it but still I’d just take the win because gay Eddie deserves to be free from😔 like even with buck they kinda weren’t great with his arc but my joy at bi buck overpowers that

But yeah sick and tired buddie canon now Tim please😔💔

[rinnyman]

𝕊𝕜𝕚𝕟: 𝔻𝕒𝕥𝕖 𝕟𝕚𝕘𝕙𝕥

Content Warnings: NSFW, 18+, masturbation, depictions of hypersexuality

Themes I touch on

Ed’s struggle with casual intimacy

How Ed’s trauma shifted into him being more hypersexual instead of asexual

How he treats Jon whenever they grow closer and he learns to trust him more

How Ed struggles with vulnerability

It’d been a while since Edward Henry Nygma, formerly Nashton, had felt the urge to be this vulnerable with someone. Neither Query nor Echo had ever been this dear to him and they were his closest confidantes. Or so he thought.

Then came Jonathan Riley Crane.

That man had been the bane of Edward’s existence and now here he was taking up a chunk of not only the mind but the heart of the esteemed Riddler. How had that Georgian bumpkin gotten into such a protected area of his life.

Edward groaned as his thoughts filled with the image of the most infuriating man he’d ever known.

His cheeks flushed and normal thought went out the window. His body grew hotter, heavier, needier. Fuck he hated that man. Jonathan Crane. Just the name made Edward groan and his head thunked forward onto the papers sprawling across his desk. He felt the familiar tent pitch in his pants which caused even more annoyance.

His clothes felt too much so Ed stood and stumbled his way to the bathroom. As he did images, scenes, memories, and feelings filled his mind. Scenes of Jon just simply being a person, getting annoyed at others for small things or just being a grouchy southern man. Edward groaned again as the cool water washed over his naked flesh causing him to flinch before relaxing again.

He and Jon had been together for a few years now and hadn’t done anything. Not like that anyways. But it was just out of respect for Jonathan not liking that sort of thing. So why? Why did Ed imagining what it’d be like to see Jon in nothing but that stupid straw hat. The cold water was not doing anything to get rid of the stiffy he had. Sure Ed knew he had people he could call and Jonathan wouldn’t be upset about it but it felt wrong at times. Instead his hand would have to do as he took the shaft into his palm and began stroking himself.

His mind wondering what it’d feel like to feel the calloused palm of his partner slowly dragging against him. The thought making Edward’s legs quake a bit and a whine that sounded vaguely like Jonathan’s name tumbled from his lips. Ed felt pathetic for letting a man like Scarecrow make him feel like this.

Edward spent longer in the shower than he’d like to admit. The time mostly wasted moaning Jon’s name and wishing he could feel the man’s skin against his own. Ed felt worse than before the shower. Not to mention he had a date with Jonathan tonight. The thought shot a bolt of panic down Edward’s spine as he realized that fact. Then came the worried thoughts. What if he got a random boner and it made Jonathan uncomfortable? What if he came on to strong and it pushed Jonathan away? Surely it’d be okay. He was the renowned Riddler. The greatest enemy of the Batman. There’s no way he could mess this up. Right?

Time flew in a blur as Edward got ready. He tried to keep his anxiety clamped down but it still tied his stomach in knots.

I Then there was a knock at the door. Jonathan was here and Edward had an anxiety hard on. He could open the door like this. He tried thinking of things to get it down. The thing that worked was reciting the digits of Pi in reverse. Then he went and opened the door with a bright but polite smile.

“Jonathan! And here I was beginning to think you wouldn’t show. Come in. The food should be almost done.”

“I don’t think I was that late Ed. But if it really bugged ya I’ll make sure to be earlier next time.”

“Lighten up Jon, I was just making a joke.”

Edward tried to keep from huffing an awkward sort of laugh. He didn’t want to seem too forward but he figured maybe after almost 20 years of knowing each other and nearly six of those years them having been dating. Jonathan didn’t seem aware of Edward’s inner turmoil. If he did he didn’t say anything.

The bastard probably did notice but was finding amusement in Ed’s silent suffering. So instead Edward ducked into the kitchen to check on the food. His skin again feeling like it was buzzing, covered in electricity. The man sighed as he tried to get himself to calm down. This would be the third time just tonight he’s gotten hard. He hated how he felt wrong for sexualizing Jonathan but that was his partner so why did it feel so wrong?

Edward slipped into the bathroom again. Not realizing the door hadn’t shut fully. How could he when all his thoughts were revolving around the man currently sitting on his couch? Just like it’d been when he was in the shower Edward’s mind conjured the image of Jonanthan’s calloused hand wrapping around his shaft, slowly stroking the velvety flesh, the way the calloused would catch and drag. What would it feel like? How would Jonathan do it? Would he focus more on the tip? Spreading Ed’s precum with his thumb, the rough pad of the digit sliding down the slit. Ed couldn’t help it as he breathlessly moaned Jon’s name.

He didn’t last long with that vivid imagination of his. Then he felt it. Eyes on him, on his cock that was still in his palm. Edward’s hazel gaze slowly raised to see Jonathan standing in the door of the bathroom. His face a mix of worry and something darker. Jonathan’s already dark gaze seemingly darker but not with malice.

“Heard ya call my name. Didn’t think ya were doin anything so… private.”

Edward Nygma, a man who was usually so confident, felt his face burn red as he hurried to clean himself up. Embarrassment twisted in his gut.

“I- I’m sorry Jonathan. I didn’t know the door was open. Oh this is-… this is bad. Y- you probably see me as a pervert for-… I mean… your name. Oh! I’m no good at this.”

Jonathan laughed, actually laughed, and Edward was almost semi hard again at the sound. It was horrifying and yet he wanted more. It was addictive. The Riddler had a new addiction. The thought alone made Edward chuckle which in turn brought confusion to his darling Scarecrow’s face. The taller man walked up to Edward, standing only inches away from him, and looked down at him.

“Edward, are you okay?”

A surprised whine left Edward at the sudden closeness. His head instinctively tilting back to look Jon in the eyes. Those earthy brown eyes that’d been darkened with something Ed didn’t understand. And that’s when it happened. When the words fell out.

“No. I’m addicted to a stubborn Georgian man who won’t even touch me in any sort of way unless I’m practically begging for it. Not only have I been having sexual thoughts about him, you, but I- you just… you caught me moaning your name, coming at just the thought of your hands. So no Jonathan. I am not okay.”

The words spewed out in blunt terms and Edward felt his face heating up so much he had to look away from Jonathan. A low chuckle rumbled through Jonathan and Ed felt more so than heard the noise. It did nothing to help his already present problem.

“Ed if I’d known you’d been thinking bout me like that I would’ve at least tried to help. I’m rusty sure but I wouldn’t’ve said no. Ya just had to ask.”

As Jonathan spoke he took Ed’s chin between his thumb and pointer finger to make him look at him. Edward Henry Nygma, formerly Nashton, felt his knees buckle when his eyes met with Jon’s. What little breath he’d had was lost as he took in that grin, the knowing look on Jon’s face. Almost out of instinct Ed reached out to stabilize himself. One had found the counter while the other grabbed hold of his shirt.

Jon’s free arm wrapped around Edward’s waist. His face again filling with that worry.

“Careful now. Can’t have ya fallin for me. I’d never hear the end of it.”

If Edward hadn’t been in what he assumed was love then maybe now he definitely was. His voice was softer, more vulnerable as he spoke.

“I thought you didn’t like physical intimacy. Thought you said it was unnecessary. W- was I wrong?”

“Ya ain’t wrong Eddie but I know you have needs too and while I can’t always fill them the least you can do is ask. The worst I could say to it is no then give you the reason.”

It was almost jarring to hear someone talk about it so casually. Ed wondered if he should come clean. He knew that Jon could feel his dick just pressing incessantly into his leg. Ed wore an apologetic look on his face that made Jonathan huff. Sure he wasn’t clubbed up like Ed was but that didn’t mean he didn’t want it.

“And I don’t want it like normal people because of all the fear toxin exposure. That shit messes with hormones and brain chemistry after prolonged exposure.”

Ed snorted at that. Of course it was because of fear toxin. He begrudgingly untangled from the warmth of Scarecrow’s embrace to wash his hands. He did still have to make food after all.

“Ah. Of course. Fear toxin is to blame. I must give it a stern talking to then.”

Sarcasm was a safe choice for Edward. It was easier than being vulnerable after all. To be all prickly instead of out of his shell. But… with Jonathan it was easier to be vulnerable. Edward didn’t know if he liked that feeling or not. He dried his hands and headed to the kitchen to check on the food. It was done so he began mechanically making plates, reverse reciting Pi as he did so, and set the table. Everything was set to his liking once he came back to awareness.

That’s when he noticed Jonathan watching him from the dining room doorway. His tall frame leaning against the wood there. An almost fond look on the older man’s face, his glasses halfway down his nose resting on the odd bend from one too many broken noses. Ed felt a spear of heat shoot down his spine and settle in his gut as he looked at the man Gotham knew as The Scarecrow. Allah forgive him for how carnally he needed this man.

The urge to get down on his knees for that man was stronger than Ed was even prepared for. It hit him harder than the Bat. That realization, that carnal NEED for someone, was a gut punch that left him winded as he sat at the table. Jonathan joined him shortly, thanking Ed for the food, and dug right in. Edward never could understand how that man was so thin and yet ate like a damn pig. Seriously. Where did it all go?

They dined in near silence. Tension weighing down the air. The way it vibrated with anticipation. The way Edward himself felt on edge. He had to break the silence.

“Can we… can we try it tonight?”

His voice shook with excitement and need as he waited for his partner’s answer. Jonathan paused a moment and sat his utensils down.

“Anything specific you want?”

“Dealers' choice as long as your hands are on me.”

This was my first time doing something like this. Part two to come soon though!

[melicious-compliance]

Uh, hi. This is my blog. You can be here, if you wanna. If you want a lot of reblogs on your dash, you can follow @melicious-compliance-reblogs.

BLOCKED ON SIGHT: younger than 13 (breaking tumblr TOS), nsfw/kink, radqueer, abdl, ddlg + variants, ageplayers and petplayers (“sfw” or not), anti-endo (and syscourse in general), anti-agere/anti-petre, people who can’t disagree with things and not be hateful, callout/blacklist blogs (not an exhaustive list)

While I’m not uncomfortable with minors interacting, keep in mind that I am an adult and neither our life nor our regression is perfect, and we might post about that sometimes. More on that in the My Stuff section.

It’s kinda hard for me to be online consistently, so please be patient with me if I don’t respond to things right away.

If you wanna be friends, please just send an ask! If you get nervous doing things without structure, just say: “Hi! Nice to meet you! My name’s [your name].” Anon asks are on, so you can sign the ask with a sideblog’s url, or use some other sign-off if you want. I’m not gonna judge.

My People

I have a little! I am proud to be called Mama by my sweet, most adorable little princess @tiny-petal-princess. And we have a caregiver, the amazing and dependable @yourstarryknight. I also have a wonderful girlfriend, @valeries-starry-dream! My host has her own sideblog, @itty-bitty-bunbun. Vae loves talking to people and making friends!

About Me

My name’s Mel. That’s kinda important to say, I guess. I think I use she/he. I don’t know a lot about who I am as a person, so I list it here. To remind myself, I guess.

I’m a member of a system, but I’m not gonna say which one. If you know, please don’t say anything about it. I’m also a subsystem myself, so… yeah.

We collectively struggle with depression, anxiety, and hypersexuality.

I’m kinda goth/emo, I guess. I’m not sure what the difference is…? But like, only in aesthetic. I wanna be cute and act cute, and I think dark/black stuff is cute.

Collectively, I am a caregiver-leaning flip. Technically. Melody is a little, and the rest (I think) are caregivers.

I’m quite stubborn, but uh, easily flustered too.

I want to be seen and heard. I want to be known. I want to exist.

I’m also a recovering addict. I’m not gonna say what from, not in my pinned post, at least.

My Stuff

This will most likely be an agere-based blog, as well as just a personal blog. I’d like to have a life and make friends and stuff.

I can’t promise that what I’ll post is always gonna be child-friendly, since life is a mess sometimes. That stuff will be tagged #melinoe’s mess so filter that if you don’t want to see that! This is not an NSFW blog. I think there is a fair distinction between NSFW and not child-friendly. I am an adult, and I’d like to talk about adult things in a respectful manner.

Our Facets

We all use the same names. But, we will tag our posts when it’s relevant. They will be tagged as:

#🧡🖤 - Melinoe, less kid-liking, more adult. (22)

#🧡🤍 - Melissa, pious, very pure. (22)

#🧡🩶 - Melanie, pretty chill, likes kids. (18)

#🧡💖 - Melody, little. (2-5)

Other Tags

#hosting posting - Stuff I post for my host.

#yappint - Original posts.

#still yappint - Self-reblogs, when I add something to it.

#i thought i had a reblog tag - Reblogs where I’m talking to people.

#going forward going back fic - The ISAT agere fic my host and I write.

Taken Anon Sign-offs

🦝 | 🌿☁️ | 💌

[x--sinner--x]

Normally I'd just make a post about this myself but I deleted my dedicated rape kink blog so I'm going to share the thought with you and your followers instead.

But I got to thinking recently about why some people have rape kinks, and obviously there's the SA survivor angle. I'm one too, so I get it. And I thought maybe it was about reliving trauma in a safe way for me like a lot of SA survivors, but I've been noticing the actual thought of being scared or upset or distressed or screaming or crying gives me this horrible sinking feeling in my chest and stomach that makes me sick and essentially ruins the fantasy. Once in a great while I can stomach it or even humor it but usually not.

So I started wondering what part of it I actually like, and it turns out what I like is whoever is fucking me chasing their own pleasure and just loving fucking me. Because of my SA trauma, I've always been a people pleaser sexually and don't know how to say no. I just want my partner to feel good and to be useful to them. I'm never focused on how I feel during these rape fantasies unless it's me feeling good against my will, because I'd LOVE to get pleasure out of sex but I don't know how to ask for it. And I don't want to seem needy or demandful. So what I normally focus on in the fantasies is how good the person raping me feels. I always imagine them in some sort of ecstasy or bliss, or even relief if they were just so horny they couldn't handle it. And I typically imagine myself not in distress. More like I'm just accepting it and not all that mad about it. Maybe it even feels good (or really fucking good) if I'm lucky. I just didn't expect to get fucked here or like this is all.

Basically I get off to the idea of being useful and making whoever's fucking me feel good, usually with my pussy specifically because I feel like if I have it and it's literally made to make men feel good, then they should get free access to it to use to feel good. Almost like it's wrong to deny them that. Which is interesting to me because oral and anal rape aren't nearly as distressing to me as vaginal rape.

I guess "rapedoll" really is the best name for me. Just a pretty doll to rape when you need to feel good.

I really appreciate you for sharing this with me and my audience. But I'm curious to know why you deleted your blog. I would have guessed it would be an amazing blog by itself. I'm also sorry to hear about your SA, but I just want you to know I am proud of you for pushing forward, and hope you are in a better place, mentally, emotionally and physically.

Having been gone through that trauma, it's normal to feel hypersexual and find ways to safely explore your rape kink and not get judged in the process. For me personally, I also feel that no one should be judged for having a rape kink (as long as consent is implied and involved parties are comfortable). Even on online platforms, those are just thoughts and doesn't really mean anything outside of it.

From my perspective, rape kink makes me feel empowered and helps me channelise my anger. I do have a obedience kink and god worship, and combining it with the option of rape makes me feel powerful. So I understand what makes you like it as well. Even though it may be hurting you, you take solace in the fact that the other person raping you is feeling good and that makes you feel good. You endure that pain because somehow, in some corner of your mind you are seen, and you are useful to your rapist using your body to feel good themselves.

But speaking in real life terms, you should start saying no and make sure consent is given at any stage, as reliving that trauma in form of way just because of a kink would not be acceptable in any way.

But you are a good 'rapedoll' or a 'rapehole', helping your rapist feel good by using you however they want.

[pr0blematic-h0unds]

A positive vent for once, lmao :3

I think finally fully blocking my ex and trying to actually remove him from my life the best I can was actually a really good call for myself.

Even if it hurts to have lost such a close friend, in the end I feel a lot better now.

I still get a sort of fight or flight sense of panic / a mini mostly internal panic attack everytime I see him or am at a place I know he will be too, but now that I've been actually staying away from him I feel happier in a sense.

Because I'm no longer trying to force myself to seem okay with what's happening around him, and feeling just really shitty with guilt in general.

I don't know, my mind just feels a lot more clearer now that I'm starting to actually let him go. Hell, even my OLD is starting to let him go, I dont think about him at random points in my day and wanna break down anymore.

When I do get moments I think about him, I just feel a bit sad but overall fine and quickly recover from it.

So, I think its a step in the right direction for me; and not gonna lie, I feel pretty happy about my progress. Even if it had really bad things throughout it, but I'm starting to think that maybe I'm glad those bad moments happened, because I think that if i didn't have those moments that I wouldn't have been able to come to terms with the fact I needed to just cut him off and finally move on.

So yk what, even if it caused me to have a horrible manic spiral, im glad my ex came into my inbox and called me out on my bullshit and fucking blasted my ass. Bc I think that's what I needed in order to get my shit together.

All that stuff combined, and also considering the fact my boyfriend, my best friends, and really sweet people online / moots & friends, have really been helping me out these past few days. Without yall I really wouldn't have the ability to keep going forward and not spiral further.

Thank you guys for sticking around, even though I'm a shitty dog who deserves to be put down at Claire's 💔, I wouldn't get rid of any of you if I was given the chance (sorry couldn't resist putting in a dark joke</3)

-

-

Now for a more personal note for my bf <3

I cant put it into words how grateful i am for you being here with me Warden, for sticking around for the past 3 years and dealing with my shit. I don't deserve you, I really don't. You're too sweet for me and the fact you're comforting me during my sprials and outbursts and don't just leave me during or after them really helps more than you know.

Thank you for being patient with the stuff that was going on around me, thank you for communicating, thank you just for everything. You understand why I stopped talking to you for weeks due to my ex, you understood my family problems, my mental problems, etc.

You never judged me and you welcomed my struggles with open arms and helped me manage them in ways that were harmless and sweet, not sexual or physically harmful.

Im sorry that I keep resorting to my negative coping mechanisms no matter how many times you try and help me fix that, im trying to be good and lay back on a lot of stuff but things happen and it makes me wanna cry how sweet you are about it; you don't yell at me when I relapse and instead focus on what's important about it in the moment and try to not let it happen again.

You don't push me away when im clingy and need comfort, you happily accept it and let me seek the comfort I need. You respect my boundaries, you respect my mental issues and don't belittle or demonize me for them.. God you're just too perfect for me to put into words.

Not to mention you don't shame me for my Hypersexuality. it helps that you dont trigger it in general, but on times that it is triggered and I'm having those perverted thoughts and what not, you just treat me like normal. You dont encourage it, you don't discourage it, you just treat me like you always do; as if its not even there at all.

Thank you for more than I can put into words Warden, you mean the world to me and I wouldn't have it any other way without you <3

Cant wait to continue being silly with you and being chaotic evil trans gremlins together for as long as possible <3

[fantasyrantsblog]

Sarah J Maas

Why this will be the only post I make about SJM and the controversy surrounding her art.

Q. Am I a fan of SJM?

A. No, I am not. I have read her books starting with ACOTAR, moving on to TOG and finishing off with CC. The first ACOTAR book took me 8 tries and I barely made it through. The second book was okay but left a bad taste in my mouth at a key point that I will get into. I had a lot of people who told me I had to keep going and I had to finish everything and I did. Because I have read her books, I can confidently discuss why I disagree with much of the content.

Now moving on to my issues:

Obviously, the Breonna Taylor ACOSF post. No matter how you decide to frame the post in order to offer some forgiveness to this action, it has never been addressed and still remains up. There are large parts of many communities who find this offensive and hurtful, if you do not find this hurtful, you do not get to decide that other's shouldn't. MAYBE SJM was sitting heavy with Breonna Taylor's death and already had post her publisher asked her to make regarding ACOSF so she decided to add it in. But also, MAYBE she thought if she didn't say anything she would get eaten alive. Regardless of how you decide to interpret this action, the addition of Breonna Taylor's death to this post was in bad taste and reads as an afterthought.

Something I haven't seen a single person talk about and it was my biggest ick when I first read ACOMAF: When Feyre first meets the Inner Circle and is told about the Illyrians, she is told in the light of them being barbaric. They're already considered a "lesser" race because they aren't High Fae and now within the first introduction to the main character and the reader, they're called barbaric. However you believe their practices to be, they did not have to be a POC race. The did not have to be the first all POC race introduced in the entire series and then regarded as such. Not only that, but none of the character's address their racism when interacting with the Illyrians. SJM has managed to pull 3 men from the race, one mixed, and have them all deny the rituals and put them above everyone else. She made them more palatable to you as token POC by having them sympathize with those they are not in league with. As a white woman writing this, it may not have been intentional, but lack of intention is also hurtful. These are are personal biases that are presenting themselves front and center. This is what it means when you support an author and their views bleed into a story they are writing. She is STILL writing this series and utilizing these previously made biases to jump forward with her story. Barring all of the other issues regarding her clearer issues with writing POC, this is an example how even miniscule details can create molehills.

LGBTQ+ representation is next on the chopping block! Does her representation of the community encapsulate some experiences? Absolutely. Is she expected to encapsulate them all? No, not by any means. And yet, she still managed to oversexualize the community and represent a singular and tiny facet. She, like with the POC, displayed her biases and beliefs. This may be unintentional or not, we don't know, but what we do know is that her characters in the queer community are oversexualized and hypersexual.

Palestine: I often see many say that because she has not said anything about which side she supports, that means we cannot assume just based off of one article years ago. Yes, actually, we can. Why? Because despite controversy, she has not negated it! Additionally, the birthright trips to Israel are inherently Zionist. If she was able to proudly discuss that with her whole chest and then stay quiet when it's not longer in her favor, we can heavily infer that she either maintains her previous stance or does not care enough to negate it. Neither is a positive outlook on how she interacts with the community. Again, intentional or not, the hurt doesn't cease to exist just because it's not how you think people should react.

There are many other reasons and pieces of text that I can pick out over and over again but if you think reading shouldn't be political, pull out some highlighters and join my book club on Fable. Literacy rates in the Unites States are dropping drastically and it's a goal of mine and my fellow readers and writers to interact and dissect text. Reading is inherently political, the act of being able to pick up a book from the shelf and take in the words on the page is not a carefree activity. We, not just the U.S., have been fighting for education for centuries and whether you're reading smut or classics, both are equally political. If you're reading fantasy, you are reading about a world in which politics are involved, politics that reflect our world. Complacency is a killer of education.

[brenw376]

I guess I'll tell y'all my experience with a demonic D1 entity😭😭

Chilee irdek where to start for real, but just know it was a lot more than what i’m saying. I won't go into every lil detail but i'll hit the main points, but basically it started my senior year of high school and dragged a little into my freshman year of college. I was talking to this D1 hooper (a woman ofc) who was a freshman in college at the time. We'd known of each other from high school, had mutual friends, and reconnected after one of her games.

At first, everything seemed chill. Like no love bombing, we seemed to be on the same page a lot, and about four months in we started dating privately. And I thought I was cool with that until

'private' started feeling more like 'secret. That's when she started doing messy shit (letting girls flirt with her, grab her, etc) and people would come back and tell me. I was still in high school, so at first I brushed it off bc like i'm not there to see any of ts yk. But then I got actual video proof one time and confronted her and she gaslit me like a mf 😭😭 Every time I brought up something weird that she did, she'd weaponize her mental health to avoid accountability. And she'd literally rewrite history like I imagined shit

She manipulated tf outta me too. She'd be affectionate and attentive in private, but in public it was like I didn't exist. She walked past me at a function once, made eye contact and everything, then kept walking like??? | called her out and she'd just tell me how she wanted to keep shit private n shit. And when I'd speak up about anything she'd lowk ghost me. Silent treatment for days and then pop up like nothing happened.

Fast forward to college, I ended up at the same school (not because of her I promise lol), and it only got worse. I became more of a secret. Her teammates didn't know me, her friends barely knew about me, her own siblings didn't know much about me either. Then the most humiliating part was how she hypersexualized our relationship. Like every time I tried to talk about emotional connection or just try to be somewhat deep with her, she'd just redirect to sex. It messed with my sense of self and boundaries soooooo bad. But eventually she cheated and it all ended. l've healed kinda, l've learned, and now I know to stay far away from them D1 demons 😭✌🏾

awe babes nooo🥹🥹

(it’s crazy i literally thought you were like 15, i think that’s the default age i give everyone nowadays lolll)

but fuck her.. you’re out of your mind if someone is clearly giving you their all and all you can do is cheat on them and give barely an ounce of love in return

y’all.. don’t allow yourselves to be strung along, and know you don’t deserve less than. your standards are never too high when it comes to respect

[shywhispersunknown]

Are Connections Real, Or A Figment Of Our Imagination?

Id known my "new guy" since high school. We didn't have a lot of interaction back then, but we had friends in common so we'd crossed paths here and there. Like most of the world we'd found each other again on social media and managed to keep in touch over the years. A random comment or a like on each others photos, a greeting here and there in the dm, but nothing special. But as fate would have it, one Wu Tang lyric put us in each others romantic crosshairs. Our admiration for the Wu sparked full blown conversations about music, life, sports, and all things silly. I looked forward to his odd reel choices and he seemed to enjoy my sports takes, specifically my thoughts on Aaron Rodgers fleecing the Jets this past season. It was official, we were definitely morphing into bro's. I was really enjoying our new budding friendship, and not once did romance enter my mind. I wanna be clear though, I definitely found him attractive. In his current state he was holding it down, and was still very much cute to me. He'd picked up some weight in a good way and thank God he had all his hair and minimal grays. So when he started lightweight flirting, I was wit it. It was heart eyes and flames on my stories suddenly, and random likes on years old photos. I subscribed to his Youtube channel and liked every video... Yea, we were feeling each other. After months of the friend bit, he eventually asked me out and I was happy asf lol.

Our first date was simple and cute, ramen on a Monday. He picked me up and when I got in the car he went for the handshake, I went in with the hug *smirk. Aggressive much? Perhaps...but he was looking good and I wanted to break the ice and set the tone for familiarity. At lunch everything flowed great. We talked about life, the woes of dating, our current status and future expectations. I asked when was the last time he'd been in love and he mentioned it had been a long time. He turned the question on me and I gave him a condensed version of my past, determined to kept it lighthearted. I loved that he wasn't pushy... asking thoughtful yet careful questions.. The afternoon continued on with us laughing, joking and theorizing about everything and nothing. Our in person interaction felt good. No hypersexual conversation, or gender war crap, just vibes and good times. As our date closed out we made plans to see each other in real life, real soon.

What I loved most about my new guy, was, he was an awesome communicator. We managed to talk everyday in some capacity. Whether it was a marathon convo, a flurry of texts about how gaming causes impotence, or just a simple gif, he always touched based with me ..and I thought that was so dope. He hit me up randomly one day, letting me know it'd been too long since he laid eyes on me (his words), and he wanted to get together. We met up for pool that Saturday and I was pretty excited to see him. I explained how I had no skills but was a fast learner. I let it be known that if it even looked like i was about to lose, I was cheating. He laughed, not realizing I was so serious. The night went on, 3 rounds of pool, wings, laughs and our 1st kiss. It was weird as hell. I should've known right there that this was bad. I chalked it up to me being out of practice and us never really taking the time to explore our likes and dislikes. We'd never had a sexual conversation and our physical interactions were super light...a brush of the fingertips while we played, maybe a longing look...but nothing to get you going. Determined to display my "sexy side" while posted up at the bar, I attempted to redeem myself by grabbing him close to me licking then biting his neck and blowing in his ear. The response was positive, but we still couldn't get the making out part right. It was cool though, we still held hands on the car ride home. Awkward kiss aside we had another successful outing and all seemed well.

Fast forward a few weeks he mentioned wanting to take me out for my birthday. I got all dolled up, heels and the whole 9. He was shocked . He got out the car and really put on the best "daaaamn my baby fione" voice. I loved it. I was beet red from the hardcore blushing I was doing. . .We gave each other a light peck and I got in. He kissed my hand and we pulled off. While engaged in light conversation he played Killer Mikes new album... occasionally looking at me, telling me how beautiful I was. My man was really rizzing it up yall. We walked into the restaurant hand and hand and received approving looks from some of the patrons. Lunch was going smooth as I was telling him we needed to check out Mercer Labs for our next outing.

This was great. It'd been a minute since I met someone who Id really liked. I even let my girlie feels get the best of me, thinking "Jesus is this THE GUY?" I know, I know, mad dramatic for no reason. Prior to meeting him Id taken myself out the game. The last guy I called myself dating, wound up being just a "fun time", if you can read between the lines. We were a horrible match and I knew that there would be nothing more than what we were doing. This particular person displayed behaviors Id experienced before, he was hella toxic. There was always an unnecessary argument to be had, lo-key insults and a host of other things that's not worth mentioning. The good sex definitely wasn't worth the trouble. I eventually got to a point where I cut communication and ghosted him. See, not only did I know better, I knew I never wanted to find myself in that place again. *Read entry titled Alive for more context. I also knew I wanted more...not with him...but just in general. So with a made up mind and frustrated heart, I sat myself all the way down, promising God and myself that I would try my best to stay outta sexual sin. So that meant no more casual situations!

Through worldly eyes we tend to view hooks up as simply "doing us, or living our best lives". But in reality, we're creating soul ties with people we really don't know...and that can come with a whole new set of problems. Traditionally , soul ties are often viewed as a deep romantic spiritual connection, observed for the one we love. But not all soul ties are positive...some can lead to unhealthy or even destructive relationships that negatively impact mental health. Its more than unwanted pregnancy and diseases we face...Its rejection, esteem issues, depression, and in more serious cases, suicide and so much more .

Now, where was I? Oh yes, back to the story!

So this is where it all goes to hell. Lunch is over and I ask what's next. He tells me the world is mine and he just wants spend the day with me. We do a little bit of everything, movies, sight seeing and the bar. Both tired from being out all day we hop in the car and start heading home. We had a quiet ride, holding hands the entire time. We pulled up in front of my house and yup...you guessed it...he asked could he come in. I don't know why I didn't see this coming. I was hesitant, because I wasn't sure what this meant. But against my better judgement I invited him inside. I was at war with myself as he followed me up the stairs. My inside voice said with much attitude "Im grown grown! and if I wanna invite a guy over, I should be able to do that". But the reality was I didn't want to find myself in another sexual situation. The thought of the guilt and condemnation that I KNEW would come....Nah bruh...I was good. But then I thought "the day was going so good...what could go wrong?" Once upstairs, we sat on the couch and he turned on SpyFamily. This wasn't so bad, cuddling...anime...simple. But that was short lived.

By the third episode he was all over me. This didn't feel right. The kissing was still off and I couldn't get out my head. Do I really wanna do this? No, I don't. Should I just live in the moment and try to have a good time? Ugh.. a mess! Ill spare you the details and inform you that I went with the latter. It was awful*facepalm. We had zero chemistry and I instantly regretted it. We cuddled for about an hour or so, until we both agreed it was time for him to leave. I felt like ish. He called me when he got in, and I tossed and turned all night. Conviction started to set in as replayed the past few hours…Trying my best to clear my mind… I settled on "it happened, I don't care, I'm going to sleep". But sleep never found me.

With a new day ahead of me and convenient amnesia, I set out to help with my nieces baby shower. In the throws of organizing and running my mouth, I felt a familiar vibration. I chose to ignore and just enjoy the time with family. As the night came to a close, I headed to my car making the conscious decision not to look at my phone till I got home. I don't know why though. Well I do know. The thought of hearing from him excited me, but if he didn't reach out I really would've felt terrible. After scolding myself for acting like a child, I took out my phone and proceeded to read the messages. With a sigh of relief, I saw that there were several dm's and a few texts from him. It was nothing special. I responded normally and mentioned Id hit him up tomorrow because Id had a long day. Ok I thought...we good. Wrong. Bright and early the next morning I see two odd texts from my new guy, "Good morning. Do you have Zelle?" The next read, "How much did you pay for your coat?" What? I looked at my phone confused, because yes...I did leave my coat in his car the other day...but I could always get it from him another time. I didn't see the need to buy me another one. So I responded with just that. His next text knocked the wind right outta me. “Babe...I wasn't completely honest with you. I'm not exactly single. I'm actually married...and she found your coat. I'm sorry. Now please, tell me the price, I wanna replace it."

MARRIED wtf? I literally was frozen. I replayed everything over the past few months. Nothing stood out that would make me feel like he was involved with someone...hell, I asked him! But wow...married. We talked everyday...and I could call him whenever I wanted. We didn't have to duck and dodge when we were out...I was so confused...what did I miss? I scoured his fb looking for something, anything! And then I found it. There it was in every picture... his wedding band. The pictures were a few years old, maybe five years...but it was definitely visible. How could I not have seen? He never wore it while out with me, this was crazy. But was it?

Collecting myself, I eventually responded to him with an inflated number that he promptly paid without question. With my monies in my account, and his ass blocked... a sudden silence fell over me. I didn't talk to anyone for days. I read through all our dm's, texts, fb messages tryna figure out how I played this wrong. This connection…this thing I thought I felt....was it real or was it a figment of my imagination?

[burning-sol]

If someone told me I didn't have to live in misery my every waking moment if I was just honest about my past I would have done so way sooner.

My fucking OCD would get triggered 60% of the time in my day to day life and I'd mentally check myself constantly wondering, "Am I hurting people around me? What if I'm doing something wrong? What if I think the wrong thing around them? What if I say the wrong thing around them?" And my hypersexuality made it way worse because it stops me from feeling in control of myself even if I wasn't doing anything.

Like. I'm still going to have issues. But now I don't feel like I am as much of an endangerment or burden to the people around me as I'd come to believe.

My sense of temporality has been pretty fucked up too. Like. Even as time moved forward, my brain was constantly trapped as if I had only just been there in that moment making all those horrible decisions. It felt like it was just yesterday, over and over, like at any moment I was going to be dragged back there and I wouldn't be able to stop it. I would be in the current year until I started thinking about that time, and it'd be like I was there and nothing had changed.

I've only really had God and Xander to keep me company. I don't really know where I'd be without them. They were the only ones that knew everything and I just didn't have faith that anyone else would ever love me if they found out how revolting I was.

I don't know. Everything just feels... Strange now. I feel like maybe there's a way forward for me? Which is a weird feeling. I never thought I'd feel this way.

[thetableshavetabled]

I think one of the biggest ways people get Andrew wrong in fanon, especially with fics from his pov, is when he helps people just for the sake of it. Or out of the good of his heart, I suppose. It makes him out to be kinder than he is in canon, where all his deals for example are on some level self-serving. Andrew didn't offer to make the deal with Neil because he cared about or his situation. He was bored & Andrew fully expected Neil to either disappear or die at the end of it.

Anyway, do you have any other thoughts on TSC/TGR? It doesn't seem like you're a fan xD and personally I'm not either.

Andrew is a difficult character to write. He definitely didn't make the deal with Neil out of the kindness of his heart, but was it just because Neil was interesting, or because of Kevin, like Andrew claims? And the deal with Kevin has even more layers—interest, usefulness, Kevin's promise. Aaron's deal, though, that's the most complicated of all. I wish this didn't get watered down so often.

On TSC & TGR... I'm underwhelmed.

You have Jean who we all know and love, now one half of a dual pov with Jeremy who's... there. And I like Jeremy. A gay ex drug addict with a savior complex and crushing guilt over his brother's rooftop dive during a coke-fueled sex party, financially chained to the same homophobic family that blames him for Noah's death while he pastes on a smile and captains the Trojans? That's compelling material I would absolutely devour if the author wasn't shelving crucial elements with all the subtlety of a brick through a window.

Jeremy could complement Jean beautifully, but instead throughout the entire first book he is relegated to being Jean's narrative counterweight and remains frustratingly underdeveloped. Why make him a POV character only to drip-feed his actual story?

The second book do offer glimpses of promise, Zane, the Kevin/Jean interview, and Lucas processing Grayson's death—those had the buildup I crave. And it's not all doom and gloom; some scenes are genuinely well-crafted, which makes the overall flatness even more disappointing.

Any potential innovation gets suffocated beneath formulaic storytelling that prioritizes meeting genre expectations over delivering something actually interesting. Where's the intricate conflict, the genuine stakes, the narrative risk and the twists that keep you guessing? I'd settle for any character development that doesn't feel plucked from a template.

29 Trojans and we only have three that approach interesting: Jeremy, Jean and Lucas. Yes, there are loads of great representation. There is a lot of potential, but without any actual arcs its all window dressing. The Trojans' uniform virtue renders them forgettable, while every antagonist is cartoonishly cruel. Only the Foxes and Jean offer dynamics with any nuance whatsoever. I like slice-of-life scenes as much as the next person, but without anything engaging in between they just highlight the plot's thinness while ticking off every BookTok trope. For readers who appreciated the original trilogy's complex characters, emotional depth, and unpredictability, this feels like a photocopy of a photocopy.

I can map the entire emotional journey without turning another page: Jeremy-Jean will have their ineviatable romance, Jean and Kevin will have their requisite heart to heart so Jean can move on, the comic relief lesbians will continue being exactly as flat as the rest of the one-note Trojans who conveniently fulfill whatever narrative function is required to keep this plot inching forward. Jean's separation anxiety will be resolved through the dog (really? a dog?), Jeremy's family will maintain their antagonistic presence until Jeremy finally applies to himself the same standards he preaches to Jean about deserving better treatment. We'll witness Jeremy and Jean working through hypersexuality and sexual trauma via the "sunshine character with hidden darkness" and "grumpy character with a heart of gold" dynamic that's been done to death and beyond.

The most shocking moment—the house fire—only highlights how desperately this story needs genuine surprises and stakes. At this point, I'd even welcome a character resurrection (typically a cheap narrative sin) just to disrupt this procession of convenient coincidences and expository dialogue.

While the trial's portrayal remains uncertain, the outcome doesn't: Jean will recognize that both he and Elodie deserved better, rebuff his parents and the Ravens, reconcile with Jeremy, fully integrate with the Trojans, and continue his trauma recovery. With every beat so plainly telegraphed, I'm left wondering what's supposed to keep me invested in this story.

[savonline]

chainsaw man 167 thoughts

contains major spoilers

tw: sexual assault

Alright, I'll admit this chapter caught me super off guard. I'm aware of the themes of the story. I'm aware denji has been assaulted before. But to see it so explicitly... Just not what I was expecting this week.

Watching this happen to Denji again, at what is the lowest point of his life, after he's beginning to grapple with his hypersexuality being a problem. This chapter was painful. We as an audience know it was Yoru, not Asa. But Denji does not know that. He saw Asa as the one girl he kissed that didn't try to hurt him or use him. He genuinely liked her.

I'm not sure how he will react after this. If he will even process what happened. Whether he will recognize he was assaulted or assume he was supposed to be happy because of his body's response. I know sooner or later all of this sexual trauma is going to break him. It breaks my heart to see it

And Asa... my heart breaks for her too. To have her body used in that way when she already has made it clear how sex repulsed she is. How is she going to cope, knowing her trust in Yoru is shattered, knowing she hurt Denji who doesn't understand what she is, knowing Yoru used her in that way and she's still sharing a body with her

I'm not going to stop reading of course. I don't even think it was a bad decision on Fujimotos part. And I understand why it was portrayed the way it was. I mean, I read through goodnight punpun and really loved it. This clearly is not a topic I think is untouchable.

But also, the fandoms responses have been extremely disappointing. Between people who are making light of the situation not even seeing it as assault, and the people going "lol you're upset over just that? You clearly haven't read [insert dark thing here]" like no maybe I'm just someone who still experiences emotions when reading media

I'm looking forward to seeing the consequences of this chapter in the story. I'm trusting Fujimoto to continue to handle these situations well.

And for those who are no longer reading after today's chapter, that's okay and understandable. I have ptsd, and this chapter genuinely was a hard read. I wish you all the best.

Here's to next week and the copium I suffer from in imagining Kobeni will show up any day now...

[rabbitechoes]

𝐃𝐑𝐀𝐊𝐄 𝐕𝐒. 𝐊𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐑𝐈𝐂𝐊 𝐋𝐀𝐌𝐀𝐑

this post will be a spin-off of my May 2024 Month in Review where i cover the wild rollercoaster that was the Drake/Kendrick Lamar beef that may or may not be still ongoing idk!

After some relatively petty back-and-forth's from Kendrick Lamar and Drake over the last two months, things did seem to get pretty heated between the two over the last few weeks or so. Lamar's response to Drake's poking and prodding by way of "Push Ups" and the "Taylor Made Freestyle" on the track "euphoria" seemed to push this in a direction no one was expecting. It wasn't just light jabs at Drake's artistry, it was a light dissection of his character. It was clear that Lamar wasn't here to play games and he really did harbor some resentment towards Drake. That was the tail-end of April and only a few days into May, Lamar released yet another diss track entitled ...

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

"6:16 in L.A." - Kendrick Lamar

Seemingly in response to Drake's alleging that Lamar relies on Taylor Swift features for relevancy, Lamar slides on a beat with production credits from Jack Antonoff, Taylor's longtime producer, and sort of baits Drake into a response. It's just a bit more prodding, this time with Lamar taking aim at some of Drake's associates like DJ Akademiks and the rest of the OVO crew. The former currently being sued for rape and defamation as well, which ties into the themes of later diss tracks to come.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

"Family Matters" - Drake

This is where things really got messy. Drake fires back at Kendrick with a multi-part diss filled with a bunch of pretty weak jabs, like when he says "K-Dot shit is only hittin' hard when Baby Keem put his pen to it" which is just ... like ok. He also pokes at Lamar's critical success with the bar "Kendrick just opened his mouth, someone go hand him a Grammy right now" which is such a weak diss. J. Cole tried to attack from a similar angle and it didn't work. The most damning thing to come out of this diss was Drake insinuating that Lamar and the mother of his children have a strained relationship. He even accuses Lamar of domestic violence ("When you put your hands on your girl, is it self-defense 'cause she bigger than you?"). Ok, that's .... not good. This might be getting a little bit too messy, let's hope it ends so-

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

"meet the grahams" - Kendrick Lamar

Not even an hour after Drake dropped "Family Matters," Kendrick fires back with the sinister, absolutely devastating "meet the grahams" diss track. Kendrick talks directly to Drake's family in this cut with bars directed at various different family members. The song opens with this almost villainous Alchemist beat and his first words are "Dear Adonis / I'm sorry that that man is your father, let me be honest" so ... we already knew this was going to get even messier. He claims Drake is a deadbeat dad and that his son deserves a better role model. In the second verse he takes aim at Drake's parents, "Dear Sandra / Your son got some habits, I hope you don't undermine them / Especially with all the girls that's hurt inside this climate / You a woman, so you know how it feels to be in alignment / With emotion, hopin' a man can see you and not be blinded." Those bars are important to Kendrick's thesis going forward. He levies some serious, albeit vague, accusations that Drake mistreats women on the regular. The second verse also addresses his father and Lamar blames him for Drake's gambling addiction (he streams on Kick gambling live). The second verse enters its home-stretch as Lamar gets absolutely venomous, "Your son's a sick man with sick thoughts, I think *** like him should die / Him and Weinstein should get fucked up in a cell for the rest their life / He hates Black women, hypersexualizes 'em with kinks of a nympho fetish / Grew facial hair because he understood bein' a beard just fit him better / He got sex offenders on ho-VO that he keep on a monthly allowance." Ouch.

As if this couldn't get any wilder, Lamar alleges in the third verse that Drake has yet ANOTHER hidden child. This one older than his son who was pushed into the limelight on Pusha T's infamous, pretty legendary "The Story of Adidon" diss. That diss changed Drake's public perception forever and I think this track might do the same once again. Kendrick closes the song with the chilling bar "Fuck a rap battle, this a long life battle with yourself." This is getting ugly and, when you're not swept up in the excitement of two of the biggest stars in music currently fighting out in public, you just feel dirty.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

"Not Like Us" - Kendrick Lamar

After that incredibly eventful Friday night, Lamar fires back with this track not even 24 hours later. A big part of the narrative against Kendrick in these disses has been that he makes "boring music." So, Kendrick slides on a DJ Mustard beat to get his message across. The result is the biggest hit to come out of this diss battle, hitting number 1 on the Billboard Hot 100. It's a very catchy song and it shows that Kendrick CAN make a club banger. It's just a club banger that calls Drake a pedophile. The line "Certified Lover Boy? Certified pedophiles" has been ringing in my head over the last month. It's important to point out that Drake's uncomfortable behavior towards young and/or underage girls has long been a point of contention. From his flirting with a 17 year old on stage, to his weird friendship with Millie Bobby Brown where she said he "gives [her] advice about boys," this has kind of been an open secret almost. Anyways, this was brutal. Kendrick beat Drake at his own game, gaining the chart success in the process. Maybe it's over now.

It does make me a little uncomfortable that Lamar hasn't commented on the domestic violence allegations at all, especially on this track since I believe it was recorded after the "Family Matters" diss. Maybe he will sometime this month (spoiler alert: he did not).

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

QUICK BBL DRIZZY DETOUR

Amidst the chaos, Metro Boomin made the "BBL Drizzy" beat giveaway. Allowing people to do their best Drake disses over it. The track samples the song "BBL Drizzy" from King Willonius released a month prior. I detest the use of AI in music, but I would be lying if I said I wasn't singing "BBL DRIZZY!" around the house for the past month. Anyways, besides some troubling old tweets that surfaced from Metro Boomin after his re-involvement in the conflict, this was a fun detour.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

"THE HEART PART 6" - Drake

A day later, Drake responded with "THE HEART PART 6" diss which is one of the biggest fumbles in rap beef history. Drake, in what might be a Freudian slip, mentions Millie Bobby Brown by name in response to Lamar's pedophile allegations against him. He says that his team fed Kendrick the lie that he had a secret daughter, which makes absolutely no sense if you think about it for longer than 30 seconds. He continues insinuating that Lamar's kids aren't his. It's just like ... dude. Come on. The song starts with a sample of Aretha Franklin singing "Now let me see you prove it" which, is kind of a good point, but it hurts both men involved. Both have brought damning allegations against one another, but no proof has been provided.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

CONCLUSION MAYBE? FOR NOW!!!

Now that the smoke has cleared a bit, this whole thing is just ... sad. Two of the biggest stars in music today leveled serious allegations against one another with no concrete proof provided by either party. These aren't victimless allegations. Pedophilia and domestic abuse have consequences, they're traumatizing. Using them as one-ups in a rap beef seems a bit careless. Using potential victims as ammunition. I don't know, it all just seems a bit gross to me.

Alphonse Pierre, for Pitchfork, wrote a very compelling article about the beef entitled Drake and Kendrick’s Beef Is the Most Miserable Spectacle in Rap History. I encourage everyone to read it as it gives a very nice and level-headed analysis of this conflict and its consequences.

Besides that, there's been a cryptic Twitter account that popped up that seemingly has proof for some pretty damning allegations towards Drake and posts videos in the same style as The Riddler from The Batman film. DJ Akademiks, one of Drake's biggest supporters during this beef, has been sued for rape and defamation. Drake has had violent incidents at his Toronto mansion throughout the month, although they aren't confirmed to be directly related to this beef. And it's all been relatively quiet from the Kendrick camp. Who knows where this goes from here, but this was as bowling shoe ugly as it was exciting.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ thanks for reading :3