#tired of being scared

[captainpirateface]

I'm so tired of being scared.

Blinded.

[elevenfifths]

most of the time i just look at my dissociative disorder like a problem to be solved like i do with most of my mental health struggles. it’s like the only real framing i’ve ever had for them. wren is depressed? fix it. wren is anxious? fix it. wren is unfocused? fix it. wren is a system? fix it.

granted it’s a dysfunction and it sure as shit is disabling me and there are inherent places where this shit is hurtful and not fun for those nearest to me… but i hope someday i can look at myself and see any glimmer of something other than The Sum Of Your Parts Makes You A Problem/Monster/Bad.

it’s so horrifying to have alters that are fundamentally in opposition to all my core values and not let that spin out into a story that i am foundationally unable to Be Good.

[ghostboyravenight]

I’m not gonna lie, the whole “what if a big, hairy trans man started using the women’s bathroom? what are TERFs gonna do then?” thing kinda pisses me off being used as some checkmate, because it insinuates that passing trans men would have any kind of power in that situation. If a passing trans man is forced to use the women’s bathroom, you know what will happen? Security will be called on him, he’ll be thrown out, and he’ll be forced to out himself as trans in order to avoid punishment, which will put an even bigger target on his back. He’s still going to be harassed. He’s still going to be forced into an uncomfortable and potentially dangerous situation, and he probably won’t avoid punishment anyway because the current laws in place are never going to favour any trans person’s defence over a cis person’s.

It also completely ignores trans men who aren’t “big and hairy” and don’t pass enough to be mistaken for a cis man. Non-passing trans men (or even men who look or sound effeminate enough to be suspected) who are forced to use the women’s bathrooms are still at a huge risk of harassment or even violence, especially young trans boys who are forced into their assigned bathrooms at school. Nex Benedict was literally murdered in a girl’s bathroom. Girls and women aren’t these inherently non-violent, peaceful and submissive beings (for one thing, that’s misogynistic). Trans men and boys get beaten up by them too, because most of us pre-T aren’t considered a threat, and we fucking die.

That’s not even to mention the trouble we already have in men’s bathrooms, because if we don’t pass, cis men will interrogate us on whether or not we’re “real men” and then sexually assault us if they discover we’re trans. Corrective rapes that trans men face is not something to be ignored, and I have trans male friends that it’s happened to who are lucky to be alive right now.

Bathroom laws will affect us just as much. The violence that trans women face is something that trans men can also relate to, and both need to be talked about without people categorising all trans men as “big, hairy, strong men able to beat up anyone who tries to threaten them” when that’s not the case like 90% of the time. Acting like passing trans men are just there to make TERFs look stupid, when TERFs are the ones who are violent towards us no matter how much we pass, is just diminishing our experiences.

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

genuinely is my brain erasing itself or is google/tumblr censoring that post about notre dame and old growth forests.

[spookyspeks]

Does anyone else feel like physically disabled people aren't allowed to identify with the very common and understandable thing of "nobody wants to work"

Like. "Nobody wants to work but if you're disabled you have to want to work or you must be faking. This thing everyone else feels isn't supposed to apply to you"

[unpersoniverse]

Skén:nen sá:sewh

as promised, here's Precious boy™ getting kissed by Precious wife™ because he deserves all the love in the world :cc

translation: Get home safe

[fawn-tongues]

Safe Bet

[princessofghosts-posts]

Another post on the OG Little Three trio and their angst potential because I can and their relationship (and what we could have had) hurts so good.

Each one of them have something that the other didn't or want:

Thalia run away from her mother and was on the streets for years,she never got to see CHB because she died first. Her father turned into a tree and then she came back and got to know that her psycho mother was dead,while Zeus was never there for her. The only good thing she had was Annabeth and even there the relationship was stained with Luke and everything else. She was completely alone before joining the Hunters. Nico and Percy still had someone in their life that was supporting of them and was there for them. Hades and Poseidon joined the war because they cared. Thalia never had that.

Percy had to take the prophecy because he didn't want Nico to be the one to do it,and Thalia got out of it with joining the Hunters. That's a really big weight to have,and while preparing for the final battle,he wondered many times if he was going to survive or not. Nico and Thalia didn't had that weight,they helped him in the war but in the end it was Percy against his fate: either he was going to succeed and save the Olympus,or dying trying and have Kronos win. All of this at 16,not even a legal adult yet,and still trying to hold everyone together during it. Nico and Thalia never had to worry about this.

Nico was accepted by the others and spent most of his time alone because of the negative view people have of him. While Percy and Thalia eventually found their place and friends at CHB and the Hunters,Nico didn't have any of that in a very long time. It took years for him to finally have a place to belong to. And even after that he was still worried that no one was going to accept the real him. Percy and Thalia never had to worry about that,since they were welcomed,pretty fast,in the place they now call home. Nico didn't,and had to walk on eggshells for a very long time before he could relax about it.

Each one of them want something the other have: Thalia a dad that care about her,like Hades and Poseidon do for her cousins; Nico a place to belong to,like his cousins found theirs; and Percy just want to be free of all of this weight and not having the fate of the world in his hands,like his cousins that are free and can do what they want.

They probably are focused so much on the bright side of the things the others have,that they completely forget they all suffered for some other things: Percy and Nico relationships with Poseidon and Hades are strained (especially Nico and Hades); Thalia and Nico aren't so free to live how they want like Percy think; Percy was mistreated by the campers after his claiming and Thalia wasn't comfortable with the Hunters's mentality.

But they would never think about those things because they focus so much on the things they will never have. They are bitter towards each other because they can't have something it was never there,but the other have,and can only hope that someday everything will change. For Nico it did,but Thalia and Percy....it's still a long way down.

The parallelism here is crazy,it's also similar to the Nico and Hazel one that I already talked about in one of my old post. Their canon relationship is so complex that I wish Rick had explored more of it because there is so much bittersweetness and hurt and trauma that I might cry.

[dragqueenstarscream]

man, i don't usually talk about bumblebee, but

imagine bumblebee having a difficult time recharging and coming to you for help. you join him in the garage, concerned for this poor bot. he looks somewhere between embarrassed and exhausted, optics downturned, his antennae pinned back like a sad puppy's ears. he's beeping something at you, and while outsiders might not know what he's doing, you've learned to decipher what he's trying to say by now.

grabbing a blanket to make yourself more comfortable in the cold garage, you take a seat on the hard linoleum. bumblebee curls up in the fetal position with his head on your lap. the moment his head rests on your thighs, you hear him exvent deeply, something like a relaxed sigh.

you already know how to help him relax by now. you smile as you start gently massaging his head, neck, and shoulder plating, your tiny fingers reaching spots between his seams which his thicker fingers just can't. you can always tell when you've hit a good spot by his happy little trills. as you work, you hum to him a sappy love song he plays to you on his radio whenever the two of you drive together. you have a suspicion that it's one of his favorites; his excited beeping confirms your suspicion. every once in a while, between rubbing the dust from his head vents and tracing your thumbs along his cheeks, you sneak a hand up and playfully toy with his antennae. this usually gets you a surprised crackle of static, followed by a flurry of flustered beeps. you always laugh and apologize with a kiss.

how long it takes for bumblebee to enter recharge depends on the day. sometimes it's a minute or two, sometimes it's half an hour. but either way, eventually, his optics offline, his vents whirring softly in what can only be called robotic snoring. you're careful to work yourself out from under him without letting his head thunk against the linoleum and possibly wake him up. once you're certain that he's in recharge, you gently kiss him on the cheek one more time and drape the blanket you were wearing over his still form. it's not big enough to cover him, but having something of yours there with him soothes him if he emerges from recharge after a nightmare. besides, the sight of a giant robot tucked under a blanket is cuter than words can say.

with one last whisper of, "goodnight, bumblebee. i love you," you close the garage door behind you and go to bed, ready to rejoin him in the morning.

[sorrysamgirls]

not to make ppl wanna beat me with hammers or anything but. i do believe sam and cas are friends. now do i think they’re the bestest bffs ever? no. that’s . so funny to even think abt. but do they actually hate each other? no way. i know the abomination/profound bond/“it” lines get thrown around a lot as a way of making it seem like they dont like/dont care abt each other but. i just don’t think that’s true! they do care abt each other. there is a kinship there. And yes u can say it’s bc of dean bc it literally is. cas says so himself in his confession. but that doesn’t invalidate or detract from anything. cas threatens others with violence on more than one occasion in defense of sam. sam trusts cas enough to let him try to extract the rest of gadreel’s grace which by that point in the narrative takes A Lot of trust for sam to willingly put himself in that kinda position. cas saved sam from the pit!!!! and yes he brought him back without his soul but this is where i like to point out that 1. sam was in the cage! with lucifer and michael! that’s a hiiiigh stakes rescue. and 2. the cage was established in the narrative as a Very Very Difficult place to break in and out of bc the whole point was to hold lucifer for eternity. so it kinda makes sense that maybe cas would run into a few issues. he and his garrison laid siege to hell to save dean. he broke in and out of lucifer’s cage solo. vastly different situations. and the look on his face when he’s accused of leaving sam’s soul behind on purpose? Distraught. classic case of cas trying to do the right thing and take care of dean but not telling him anything and making a very big mess. And still not telling anybody anything (i love cas)

like idk man. i think they’re friends and i think they’re family. and no that does not mean everything is rainbows and sunshine between them all the time. it does not cancel out the fact that they annoy the fuck out of each other. which is a lot of fun honestly i enjoy it <3. Tldr they’re in-laws who occasionally vibe and are bound to one another via their respective ties to dean but like. they’re pretty cool with that arrangement

[nerdynuala]

Had a vision at 3 am and instead of being concerned as I should, I turned it into a comic with the weak excuse of it being a healthy pose drawing practice (yeah no, there's nothing healthy about this)

Anyway L has found a new way to confirm if Light is Kira

I would say he's Kira

[eowynstwin]

I’ve been out touching grass (it’s why I go silent for days at a time lately) and so far I’ve joined a weekly gesture drawing class and made like three new friends (I’m going to yoga with one this week for the first time in years), gone to a $5 concert and heard life changing music I’m never gonna be able to find streaming (a guy wrote a song called gray suede shoes about the differences between him and his lover, we’re Instagram mutuals now), drawn in a sketchbook I haven’t touched in years for an hour and a half with complete strangers, tested paint swatches in my bedroom, had a $10 croissant that was worth every penny, and somehow managed to get some blooms on a plumbago I was absolutely sure was dying.

If you have the means etc etc etc

[pkmoth]

ermmm somethings weirdddd with my earthbound copy

[theshadowrealmitself]

For “MJ wanting Peter to stop being Spider-Man” (although I hate the trope of love interests wanting their partners to quit whatever it is) I would love a version or just a fic where MJ’s issues with Peter’s Spidey persona stem from her issues with her own stardom

Where when she first gets into it she feels on top of the world and like her best self and free (if we’re using one of the canon versions of MJ that has a horrible home life) but then she realizes that it’s sucking her dry and she’s giving too much of herself to her fans and her image and she had to put her foot down and have a healthy boundary between her celebrity life and her personal life

And she sees the Spidey “persona” as Peter’s version of that; something that originally made him feel amazing and free but is actually shackling him and he needs to break free from it before it’s too late

But! their situations aren’t really the same, it’s more projection (although Peter could stand to face healthier boundaries between his hero and civilian life) and I would love to get into how being famous has to be fucking with MJ on some level even if she ultimately loves what she’s doing and once Peter sees how it’s affecting her and how her not liking the suit comes from her issues with her own career that she doesn’t know how to articulate, they both work on encouraging the other person to have healthier boundaries with themselves instead of begging them to quit their careers

And besides, it’s not like being Spider-Man is actually draining him of life

(And that’s when the venom symbiote shows up)

[wiisagi-maiingan]

There's definitely nothing strange, suspicious, or worrying about the White House's refusal to disclose who's running a government agency that has been overtaking different agencies and getting access to extremely sensitive information, often illegally. Nothing wrong here. We live in a secure and healthy democracy.

[ferrettaur]

Hey can we get some help with groceries for this week? we have maybe $200 between the five of us for the whole house and some of that has to go to bills. We're all disabled and I'm currently the only one holding down a job, but the more this shit goes on the less I'm able to keep up with work. I had to call off work today just from trying to work through pain this week. Anything helps.

Paypal - Venmo - Kofi