#to unlearn being a machine

[whump-in-the-closet]

characters who’s identity revolves around their purpose, defined by something or someone else. By the prophecies, by their service; the lapdog, the weapon, the chosen one. And then there’s a moment of softness, a complete breach and utterly human— they cradle their head in their hands, they bend to pick up a cat and hold it tight, they slump against someone’s shoulder, completely trusting for the first time

thank you that’s it. exits stage and screams.

[smilepilled]

my heart is full of the people i have loved and still love. my very person is a museum built with the endearment ive felt & feel for many. even if the memories are bad, or lost to time, they remain in my speech, my mannerisms, my jokes, and my heart.

[fjeldmouse]

screaming this at myself lol

[thearsonistofarland]

It’s about young motherhood and raising a child when you don’t quite know who you yourself are yet and being societally undesirable and finding community in fellow outcasts and unconventional families that aren’t mom-dad-child but are still full of love all the same and masking and trying not to “ruin” the life that your child has managed to scrape together because you know how hard it is to be happy when you’re Not Normal and breaking away from our base “instincts” to punish and isolate the undesirables in whatever shape they come in because because we’ve been socialized our entire lives to want to achieve and maintain the idealized status quo and we know how hard it is to unlearn things so deeply ingrained into us and how you can’t just immediately change the way someone was raised and how the ruling body is a machine that does not care about you or your personal joy and will gleefully destroy the lives and homes of anyone and everyone associated with those who are Not Normal and they will not stop until they know how to prevent more undesirables from coming into existence and how you can’t just erase someone’s neurodivergence or queerness or heritage or physical disability it’s a fundamental part of how we interacted with the world growing up and how the world interacted with us in turn and it’s about how all of these things intersect because we live in this world and in this society in this community in this family and we are trying to be happy and lead fulfilling lives when that is an uphill battle against social norms and scared people but those social norms are not inherent and are artificial and even though the way there is paved with hot coals and require us to mask to pass and fit in to so that we can make gradual change and as much of an infuriating answer as that is, things can get better

I really liked The Wild Robot you guys

[nenoname]

ford learning 'trust no one' from bill, unlearning it with stan, and then picking up 'growing up is optional' from stan but that being something that bill says too...

but also stan inadvertently planting the seeds for 'trust no one' and driving ford further into it when he accidentally broke the motion machine and then pushed ford into the portal...

[zepskies]

Here are some of my favorites! (A revamp of my old rec list.) They will span Tumblr, Ao3, and FF.net, as I did a lot of my early reading/writing on other platforms.

Keep in mind, I probably like several fics from each of these authors, but I'm featuring one or two that I very much enjoyed.

SUPERNATURAL FIC RECS

[OS] = One-Shot || [S] = Series || [HC] = Headcanon

Dean Winchester x Reader or OFC:

Stories are Dean x Reader unless noted OFC.

✦ Alisha Ashton

Clear the Area - [S | Excellent 4-part series!] This is the story of you and Dean, and how he manages to slip past your defenses. Written so that you can put yourself in the OC's shoes. Sorta set end S8. Slightly AU in the fact that Dean, Sam, Castiel, Kevin, and YOU all live in the MOL Bunker. Everyone is healthy. Cas is still an adorably clueless angel with zero tact.

✦ @luci-in-trenchcoats

Feral [S] (Alpha!Dean x Omega!Reader) Feral is an Alpha’s most dangerous state. Pure raw instinct. A killing machine with no thought. Only an Alpha under extreme duress can submit to their feral side and they rarely can come back out of it. It takes highly specialized rehabilitation to even have a chance at working. When a feral Alpha comes into the reader’s low level rehab facility one night, she knows he’s a dead man walking. But he doesn’t deserve to die and a split second decision to help him escape before that can happen will put them both on the run. He’s no ordinary Alpha though. He’s Dean Winchester. The boy who went missing all those years ago. The boy that made everyone realize no one was safe from the Alpha black market. The man that could destroy them both with one wrong move…

Headcanon: How They Meet Their Plus Size Girlfriend [HC] (Dean Winchester, Beau Arlen, Soldier Boy, and Russell Shaw included)

✦ @deanbrainrotwritings

Wild Flower [OS] Dean gets hit by a spell when fighting a witch and assumes it was harmless or ineffective. He was wrong, but at least he wasn’t dead. He’s a woman now. 

✦ @waynes-multiverse

Creature of the Night [OS] When her car breaks down on a dark lonely road, she is lucky a handsome stranger takes her in. Grateful, she is willing to do anything to repay his kindness.

Headcanon: Valentine's Day [HC] (Dean Winchester // Soldier Boy // Beau Arlen // Russell Shaw – Edition) How would your favorite men surprise you for Valentine's Day?

Headcanon: Gettin’ Down and Dirty with Dean [HC] Smutty headcanons with Dean...

✦ @rizlowwritessortof

Take a Shot [OS] Let’s face it, his henley looks good on both of you…

Late Night Show [OS] You’re spending a little down time at Bobby’s when HE shows up with his brother. You try to ignore those old feelings for him, but when you accidentally walk in on him pleasuring himself, all bets are off. 

Lost in You [OS] A casual flirtation leads to a violent encounter, and Dean’s reaction is a little more than you expected.

That’s How It Should Be [OS] (Sheriff!Dean x Reader) Sheriff Dean Winchester/Reader have to escape, quick - but Dean won’t let being on horseback stand in the way of showing a lady a good time…

✦ @dean-winchester-is-a-warrior

The First Time Series [S] Even though he's a lot older than she is, and more experienced in every possible sense, Y/N finds herself incredibly attracted to Dean Winchester. Amazingly, one day she starts to think that maybe the attraction isn't all one-sided.

The Dangers of Hope [S | Endverse!Dean] When Y/N shows up at Camp Chitaqua with her little girl in tow, her bloodshot eyes leave no doubt that she's infected. Or is she? Everything Dean has come to know for certain over the last five hellish years, is about to be challenged.

It's All For You [OS] After a hunt gone wrong, all Y/N wants is to make Dean feel better. Will he let her?

Things Learned and Unlearned [S] Y/N has spent her life trying to outrun her mother's reputation. When she meets the rich and successful playboy, Dean Winchester, how quickly can he get her to stop running?

✦ Lindsey D. Perez

Say I'm Beautiful [OS] You're feeling a little self conscious about your weight so Dean decides to show you how sexy you are. Dean x Reader Warning: negative body image, swearing Rated M for smut so go forth with caution.

✦ @ejlovespie

It Ain't About Pity [OS] (Dean x Plus-Size!Reader) Dean Winchester has eyes for the reader. She has no idea. When he finally figures out why she’s been dieting, he isn’t pleased. 

✦ kittenofdoomage

More to Love [OS] (Alpha!Dean x Plus-Size Omega!Reader) Reader is a hunter, and an Omega, an unusual combination. She’s always been mocked for her size, so she keeps to herself but a case Garth persuades her to take ends up with a confrontation she never saw coming.

Never Spoken, Always Said [OS] He doesn’t say the words much but he shows her every day.

Taste [S] (Alpha!Dean x Omega!Reader) The reader is pregnant with Dean's baby. Spanning the first year or so, we join them as they discover new things about each other.

✦ @impala-dreamer

A Simple Kinda Man [OS] Dean’s a pretty simple man. He likes the things he likes and you can rarely get him to change his mind about it. 

Like Heaven [OS] (Dean x Curvy!Reader) Y/N’s request might throw him off for a second, but he’s never going to deny her, not when it feels so good in her arms…

Take a Break [OS] Laundry can be annoying and overwhelming, so it's important to take breaks now and then...

✦ @justagirlinafandomworld

Remind Me [OS] (Alpha!Dean x Omega!Reader) There was no escaping what happened to you. There wasn’t a magical number of days in which you would simply get over it either. It happened and you had to live with it. But your alpha would never leave you to work through it alone.

Delicate [OS] Dean made you feel things no one else ever had. But is it a good idea to see this through?

The Fallout (Alpha!Dean x Beta!Reader) [S] When Sam meets his true Omega, you fear your time with the Winchesters is fated to end. Before they can hurt you, you decide to distance yourself. But Dean isn’t willing to let you get away so easy.

✦ @spnbabe67

Girls, Girls, Girls [OS - Part of a Series] (Dean x OFC) While on a witch hunt Dean gets hit with a spell. Later at the hotel, Dean feels the effects of the spell and Tori has to help him through it.

✦ @chevroletdean

NSFT Alphabet [Dean Winchester] [HC]

Masturbation [Dean Winchester] [HC]

✦ @thatonewriter15

Unspoken [OS] How many reasons are there to love Dean Winchester...?

✦ @iprobablyshipit91

Twenty Minutes or Less [OS] Dean raises an eyebrow at you, cocky smile firmly in place. "I bet I could get you there in twenty minutes or less.”

Magical Blooms [OS] After all, there was a flurry of customers walk through the doors to Magical Blooms each and every day, and quite a number of these were regulars. Just because one of those regulars was an undeniably gorgeous man that flirted shamelessly...

✦ @jawritter

Feral (Alpha!Dean x Omega!Reader) [S] True mates don't exist, at least that's what everyone tells you. It's nothing but a childish, fairytale notion to believe that such a person exists. Someone that is made just for you, your person. Who knew they were so wrong…

✦ @marvelfanfn2187a113

Here For You (Dean x Little Sister!Reader) [OS] You help Dean through a couple different kinds of pain.

✦ @deanwinchesterswitch

The Girlfriend Who Remade Christmas [S] Dean’s holiday spirit is nowhere to be found. Fed up with his Grinch-like behavior, Nicole is determined to open his heart again to the wonders of the world around them and help him find joy in the Christmas season.

✦ @spnexploration

Collared [S] Sam and Dean save a woman from where she has been held as a slave by a witch. But things turn dark whenever they try to take her magic collar off, leaving them with a slave to look after and a curse to break.

✦ @kaleldobrev

Old Man [OS - Part of a Series] Dean never had a problem with the age gap between you two; not until now any way.

✦ @deanwritings

Friends with Benefits [S] After walking in on Y/N following a fun encounter, Dean and Y/N decide it would be beneficial and much easier to use each other for their needs. But can they keep it just about sex?

✦ @waywardxwords

Safe [OS] You had hoped to get in and out when you heard what town the next hunt was in. Unfortunately, you can’t outrun your past. You, also, can’t outrun those old feelings--panic, anxiety and fear. You had hoped you’d never have to share this part of your life with Dean, but things don’t always work out the way we had hoped.

Witches [OS] While hunting a witch, you accidentally stumble upon her collection of sex pollen. 

✦ @acreativelydifferentlove

Carry On [S] (Alpha!Dean x Omega!Reader) You’re an Omega in a small rural town. When your father’s gambling and drinking leaves him with a debt he can’t afford to pay, he offers you to a group of Alphas. Dean Winchester is an Alpha desperately trying to escape his past and pain. Can you save each other?

You're Home [S] (Alpha!Dean x Omega!Reader) After years away at college, you have finally returned to your home town. In order to settle back into the community, you have to seek permission from the Head Alpha. What happens when you see his son for the first time since presenting as an Omega?

✦ @deanwanddamons

Helping Hand [OS] Dean is tired after a hunt, so asks Sammy to drive Baby. You and Dean cuddle up in the back seat.

✦ @mind-empty-just-fictional-people

Love Language [OS] You’ve never said it, neither has he…is that weird?

✦ @pink-sparkly-witch

The Widow [S] Sam and Y/N are happily married, but everything changes after a fatal car accident leaves her a widow. The Winchester motto: “Family Don’t End with Blood,” takes on a whole new meaning for Y/N as she navigates her new normal with the help of her brother-in-law, Dean. But what no one can tell her is what happens when she falls in love again.  

✦ shirleypositive72

While They Dance On A Pin (Jane Series 5) [OS - Part of a Series] (Dean x OFC) Sam, Dean, and Jane have been on the road almost constantly since Dean's return from Hell. They're finding Seals, finding danger, finding out each other's secrets. But it's what they find when they open the door to one more motel room that sends Dean back into his darkest moments. An OC's experience of episode 4x16, On the Head of a Pin.

✦ BeccabooO1O

She's My Cherry Pie [OS] Dean was drunk. So terribly drunk. And it was hilarious. Just some karaoke!Dean (aka the best Dean of them all).

✦ @pamwritessometimes

Roots in My Dreamland [OS] Dean encounters a mysterious forest spirit who’s an enigma.

✦ @supernotnatural2005

Sexual Encounters with Dean Winchester - Edging [OS] Exploring new kinks with Dean. How far can you push him before he breaks?

Happy Accidents [OS] (Dean x Plus-Size!Reader) You haven't seen the Winchester's in over a year, but the case you're working has you scratching your head, and who better to call than some old friends. However, insecurities arise as well as the reprise of a long time crush. Little do you know, it's reciprocated.

Lebanon [OS] A wish gone wrong right brings back a familiar face. However, you all soon discover it's not as simple as it seems when what you’ve all accomplished, and your family, hangs in the balance.

Burning for You [OS] You're pregnant and it's awoken something feral, something instinctual in Dean.

✦ @ambiguous-avery

When He Slides In [OS] And says “Fuck, I missed you.” After a hookup with the (in)famous Dean Winchester, you figured that would be the end of it. Too bad you could never seem to get him out of your mind. People always told you that you got attached too easily. And they were right. You were just another notch in his belt. He couldn’t possibly remember you...

✦ @bettystonewell

To You I Belong [S] (Alpha!Dean x Omega!Reader) Dean isn’t looking for a mate. Not only does he think he doesn’t deserve one, but the last place he expects to meet his soulmate is while on a case. Fate ain’t real. He still has free will, and saving you from monsters is just another part of the job.

Another Notch on His Belt [OS] Every little part of him is holding onto every little piece of her, and any other woman he’s been lucky enough to escape his life with. Even if it’s only for the night - or - Dean replaces intimacy with sex.

✦ @lamentationsofalonelypotato

It's Not a Big Deal [S] (Dean x Reader x Soldier Boy/Ben love triangle) Dean's in for a rude awakening when he finds out exactly what you did when you got stranded in another universe.

✦ @thoughtslikeaminefield

Deep [OS] Dean shows her more about pleasure than ‘deep’.

✦ @cheynovak

Four Men, One Birthday [OS] A birthday gift to me from lovely Cheyenne. 💜 Four birthday themed stories with Dean, Beau Arlen, Soldier Boy (Ben), and Russell Shaw.

✦ @teamackles96 [HC]

Headcanon: With My Dad By My Side Snapshots of parenthood with Russell Shaw, Dean Winchester, Beau Arlen, Soldier Boy/Ben, Mark Meachum, and Boaz Priestly.

Dean Winchester x Lisa Braeden:

✦ adventuresinposting

Damages [S] Ben is in a car accident causing a fractured skull. Consequentially he remembers Dean. Ben tries to find Dean, who is now a retired hunter after losing Sam in a final battle. This is the story of Dean finding something and someone to replace the hole in his life left by Sam.

✦ FaithDaria

One Step at a Time [OS] The Winchester way of life changes, and Dean adjusts accordingly.

✦ bloodmagik

A Dad By Any Other Name [OS] Ben is sick and Dean stays home with him while Lisa is at work. Lisa learns something about Dean's relationship with Ben.

Sam Winchester x Reader or OFC:

Stories are Sam x Reader unless noted OFC.

✦ Avrilando

While You Were Sleeping - [S] (Sam x OFC) A seriously injured unconscious man is in the hospital Rachel volunteers. With no idea who he is and if anyone is looking for him, Rachel decides to keep him company while he's sleeping. With The Eyes of a Loving Man [S] (Sequel to While You Were Sleeping) Continuing through Sam and Rachel's relationship with all the highs and lows of dating a hunter. Mostly a collection of oneshots and some connecting stories.

✦ Lindsey D. Perez

It's Your Birthday [OS] The Winchester's find out it's your birthday and insist on celebrating with lots of alcohol. Sam introduces you to body shots and things get heated. 

If You Give a Moose a Muffin [OS] ...he'll want kisses to go with it.

✦ ALoversDream

All of Me [OS] (Sam x Plus-Sized!Reader) Request where the reader (even thought she's usually pretty confident) is slightly insecure about her looks, and because she's plus-size. It ends in fluffy weight smut.

✦ BeccabooO1O

Could Have Told You That One, Winchester [OS] Imagine sitting one Sam's lap while you two are researching. She was reading one of the books about mythology for the Winchester's current case when she heard a frustrated groan from across the table. Sam Winchester had his laptop in front of him and various books of lore scattered around it.

✦ @princessmisery666

Samnesia [S] (Sam x OFC) Brooke is a calming distraction from the chaotic mess of Sam’s life. When a hunt keeps them separated for over a month, Sam returns to find she no longer remembers him. The need to find out what happened while he was gone sends Sam on a case that will change the course of his life. What he discovers along the way will change the way he looks at love.

✦ @ohsc

Delicate [OS] Sam being intimate with an inexperienced reader.

**I will keep adding to this list as I read and explore! Please reblog the fics you read and let these amazing authors know what you thought of their work. 💜

I have several more stories favorited on my FF.net account. (Beware if you try to read any of the stories I wrote there though. Some of those are old as hell and not to my current standard. ����)

Dean Winchester AU Fic Rec List

Original SPN Fic Rec List

Supernatural Masterlist

Main Masterlist

[nanamis-bigtie]

morning after

↬ nanami kento, higuruma hiromi, kusakabe atsuya x gender neutral reader ↬ masterlist // ao3 version

cw: suggestive themes, implied bottom reader a/n: repost from the old account. divider by saradika

nanami kento

Kento is not used to noise and smells in the kitchen so early in the morning. Such disruption of his routine would bother his mood under other circumstances—but now, with the soft sound of your bare feet at the other side of his apartment, it feels only right. Familiar, he would even say, despite the atmosphere of a special occasion lingering in the air.

When was the last time he made breakfast from scratch, he wonders when the door of his bathroom closes behind you. Normally, he would be still asleep at this hour; his alarm would go off in thirty minutes, he would take a necessarily short and cool shower, check emails in case of an emergency, and then head to the 7/11 on the corner, to eat a humble meal of a pre-made sandwich and a cup of coffee from the machine, maybe an onigiri too, if he felt particularly greedy. Today, he barely slept and rose with a crack of the dawn—yet he felt the most relaxed since what seems to be ages to him. He still had the taste of you lingering on his tongue after the night, and decided to savor it until the flavor of cooking he had to test on the way would eventually wash it away. Scratched marks on his shoulders and back stung when he leaned to check what he had in the fridge. His hips, unlearned of moves he had been using on you since you had devoured the takeaway dinner together, ached as he tiptoed to reach the rice cooker, left dusty on one of the highest shelves. His eyes kept the afterimage of your blissed out face over the selection of vegetables and seasonings he chose for this meal.

When was the last time he was so peaceful?

Kento finishes cutting the fresh cucumber and tsukemono, pours water into mugs with instant miso soup inside, and finally checks on the rice. It's warm and fluffy, just waiting to be put into the bowls he prepared—the cutest he had, with a long-tailed tit pattern. He brought them from Hokkaido and didn't use them even once, until he spotted them today and decided you would love them.

Rice has to wait; he can't let it grow cold like the sheets you two left behind are undeniably growing. First, he checks on the piece of salmon—a luxury that waited for a day when he could cook again—getting ready in the oven, then cracks a few eggs and beats them well with a pinch of salt and pepper. His stomach growls when they hiss on the red-hot pan—and he can't help but wonder if you're as hungry as him. Things you had in your mouth through the night couldn't feed you, as your corny, vulgar jokes suggested. Kento rarely smiles but the memory of them and the startled look you gave him as you worried if you hadn't been too much for him has him grinning for a short moment.

When was the last time he felt strain in the corners of his lips?

The omelet is ready in no time. Kento knows how you like your eggs, but he can't remember how and when he learned about it. He's sipped many details like this from your lips, through the whole year of waiting for the day you crossed the threshold of his bedroom. He was feeding on crumbs for so long... Being full out of the sudden fills his heart with content and anxiety at the same time. He wants to savor this moment, afraid to stomp on the thin shell of happiness too strong, but he knows he's already too addicted to stop. Whatever happens, happens.

And the food can wait only as long. He can't feed you a cold meal.

The hum of the shower ceases shortly after he takes the salmon out of the oven. Kento listens to the commotion in the bathroom while he finishes the last cuts. Bowls are filled with steaming rice, plates and mugs find their right place on the table. He hasn't cleaned the kitchen—but even if he could do it quickly before you join him, he can't bring himself to disturb this disarray. It looks—it feels—so good to have his place messy at least once, at least today, at least for the first hour you spend together after the night of passionate lovemaking.

His hands still remember the shape of your hips, he realizes when you appear at the entrance, fresh yet still sleepy—and smiling bright at the sight of him by the table.

Kento doesn't want to ever forget it.

higuruma hiromi

Out of the first mornings Hiromi experienced, this one is not the most...extraordinary. But he definitely would place it somewhere at the top of the list.

Seated on the edge of the bathtub, head leaned down, he still feels drowsy. The night was deliciously long and so worth the lingering fatigue in his muscles. He hasn't worked that hard in a while—well, physically at least—and he's undeniably going to pay the price with the top soreness of the last decade. He's more than okay with it...as long as you're not going to ask him for the repetition within the next few days. He's crazy for you—but he's not twenty anymore, and his job squeezes much more energy from him than he would have sacrificed, if he had any choice in this matter. 

Speaking of squeezing—he barely managed to find time to bring you home, for dinner and a movie you didn't even start watching, hungry for something else than a story. And he did so only by nipping time off somewhere else—and by paying the carrying charge now, in his bathroom, awaiting the blind judgment of your skill...or the lack of it, to be honest. He has no idea if you've ever done a haircut before.

But you seem at least familiar with it enough to know how to hold and turn the hair clipper around. Hiromi watches you from the corner of his eye: you're right behind him, scrunching your nose as you're studying the shape of the device and options the various buttons provided. Bare-chested, wearing your pajama shorts only, you secure the towel wrapped around your head with the other hand. It's on the verge of falling apart, some of your hair already got out. He feels an urge to get up and help you tuck it where it should stay but just thinking about feeling it pushes blood where he really doesn't want it, if he wants to leave for work on time. He had his share of touch a few hours ago, stroking and playing with your locks as you had your sweet lips wrapped around his cock.

He's ruined the position when trying to take a better look, so you gently nudge him to lean fully again, a brush of your warm palm enough to have hair on his forearms standing. He had your hands all over him for hours, pulling him close, securing him next to you when you both finally collapsed into well-deserved sleep, so he could swear he's learned your touch enough. 

But now...it's different.

You run fingers through the hair at the back of his head, testing the line you want to cut—and Hiromi is melting. He has to clench hands on the edge of the bathtub to stay collected; the last thing he wants is to get scolded and deprived of your digits slowly threading through his locks. You mumble something about being jealous of how thick they are and something about how badly he needs this cut—but all he can think of is how your voice is so raspy after moaning out his name over and over again. He wonders how your mewls would sound with this tone but thoughts evaporate from his head as soon as they've appeared, this time with the steady buzz of the clipper.

So the sound can be ticklish, such a weird sensation...

You're quick and as precise as only you can be at six in the morning, scrunched over his back in a rather tight space. You cut his hair just enough to keep him somewhat tidy for the few days before he can see an actual hair stylist; there's no time for more and Hiromi doesn't want to make it too much of a struggle for you. Even if it was his own request, he immediately regrets it when you're finished with brushing the cut dust off his neck and shoulders. It's such a pity you have to abandon him and rush with your own preparations. If only you had more time...

Right as he's straightening his back, you touch him with both hands, fingertips scratching lightly at the freshly shaved part of his head, right at the point where it meets his neck. Warmth explodes in his chest—and Hiromi lets out a low, needy growl. It's good, so good, oh gods, just touch him more, just do it one more time, he hasn't had anything like this for so long...

Humming, you move towards the longer strands, then down the sides of his face until you're cradling it between your palms. You tilt his head back and pull him close, until he rests it against your exposed, warm belly. Dry sob shakes his whole body and tears prick at the corners of his eyes—but Hiromia can't bring himself to close them or at least to look away. He's begging for your attention like starved and he's not ashamed.

All he wants is for you to never let go of him.

kusakabe atsuya

Holy shit.

Atsuya didn't get a wink of sleep through the whole night—and the fact that he doesn't have anything to do for the day to come doesn't help the case. He always had problems with falling asleep after sex, but he thought the long break since the last time and, well, the overall busy period in his life would crumble this irritating habit by sheer force of exhaustion. He's as good at taking an accurate measure when it comes to love as he is with dozing off, it seems.

You're sprawled by his side, lying face down and on his arm, butt-naked with the exception of the blanket loosely wrapped around your leg and covering half of your ass. You've taken his share of sleep since you collapsed as soon as he rolled to his side and reached for wipes to clean you both, much to his amusement—and horror once he realized he was sentenced to his thoughts alone for the hours to come. Your smell, soft, twangy breathing, and warmth is just helping them race now. Your weight, pressed tight from his wrist to shoulder, keeps him in place too, cutting any attempt of shameful retreat short. It's nothing he wouldn't be able to move, he's carried you around not once and not twice and it meant nothing to his strength, but he dreads to wake you up.

You deserve that rest after taking his pent up tension over and over again. And he really has no idea what to say to sound appropriate.

Good morning? Good job? Did you sleep well? I love you?

Atsuya groans and does another trip around the room with his eyes only. The more light sips through the loosely drawn curtains, the more details he could pick up, and shame already pricks at his cheeks. He couldn't remember the last time he cleaned around properly but even if he had it squeaky clean for the night, the area just screamed: a confirmed bachelor. Well, at least there's no trash lying on the floor or furniture, but he could easily pick up the smell of cigarettes and badly aired room. None of it mattered when you tussled in darkness, sucking sloppy kisses from each other's lips and peeling clothes off your bodies. But once you wake up and take a look around—Nope, he doesn't want to think about it. That's a problem for Atsuya from in-a-few-hours-future.

He rolls head to the other side, ashamed to even look at your sound asleep body, and stares right at his shirt, casually thrown over the bed stand. He doesn't have to look at it to know it definitely has its best days behind it. He could at least wear something presentable when seeing you for that unplanned job, hasn't he learned anything from his past relationships? Maybe he did, but it was so long ago he wasn't sure anymore if his sloppiness was ever addressed. His chain-smoking, however, is a different story.

Holy shit, he really needs to smoke.

Atsuya knows there's a spare cigarette and a small pack of matches hidden in the little pocket of his shirt, this very shirt within his reach. Carefully, he scoots to the side and reaches for it, fingers already brushing the sleeve, just an inch more, just a little...

You mumble his name and shift, sheets rustling around your legs. Atsuya freezes, sure he's finally done it and woke you up, but you just adjust your position, face turned to him, and continue with your softest snores. You're all messy and exhausted, in need of a shower even more than his room is in need of tidying. With amused relief pushing his worries out of his mind, he reaches out and gently strokes your hair.

You repeat his name, with a mewl dangerously close to what you screamed into his ear a few hours ago.

Out of the sudden, the thought of smoking by your side has him disgusted. You're going to wake up to this mess, to crumbled sheets and clothes all over the place and dying plants and papers lying on the floor in piles—and he wants to add smoke right into your eyes? You deserve better than that. You deserve him to be better than that.

Hell, he's been thinking about it for a while anyway. Maybe if he remembers your face from now, so calm and smiling through your dreams, it will be easier for him to finally quit.

[wizardlover124]

dirk the character

dirk's core motivations come from being inadequate. on one hand it's because he's not enough his friends-- he's too neurotic, he's too emotional, but he loves them to death (as he literally says about roxy) and would give anything for them to enjoy talking to him. on the other hand—and this is what this meta will mostly focus on—he's inadequate compared to his older bro (alpha dave). to dirk, alpha dave cannot be a real person-- he's more akin to a fictional character, a completed NARRATIVE. alpha dave made a space for himself in the world-- he was massively successful, had fans, and orchestrated massive plots to fight the condesce all while carving his own creative niche in the world. most importantly, he was the only source of guidance as to "what to be" dirk had.

by definition dirk cannot access any flaws a!dave might have had, because he didn't-- in a well-written story, any flaw is only part of the "character," and it's not like dirk ever really knew a!dave anyway. i think he adopted this mindset for himself and too began viewing his entire life as a story, in which he's a character and not a person. partially because it literally is— alpha dave prepared this apartment for dirk because dirk was destined for something greater, e.g. sburb, and dirk spent sixteen years waiting for his own story to begin. but there's one critical problem here. dirk cannot be enough compared to alpha dave. alpha dave is an IDEAL dirk constantly measures himself up to and at every turn fails-- suddenly, when he's trying to place himself in the hero role he thinks a!dave had, nothing he does is adequate. even normal human flaws become akin to sin. his interactions with his friends just remind him of that-- he can't live up to roxy's desire, he can't seem to get jake to love him, and this complicates things with jane too. he doesn't think he'll be enough—not for his friends, and not for the story that lays ahead of him.

his solution is to turn to the machine. he creates the autoresponder, thinking that is the most "ideal" version of himself—the character that he's been waiting for—and has it talk to his friends instead. but this doesn't work either. if hal is the perfect version of himself, then what use does dirk have in the world? plus, he's completely fucking insufferable-- does that mean dirk is, even at his best, awful? if hal ISN'T the perfect version of himself, that means that dirk's best solution-- the one he's been trying at since he realized this flaw--the machine fails.

dirk spends the rest of sburb, at least i like to think, unlearning some of these ideas. he meets dave in person. he has long conversations with his friends (also in person!) who he . he spends time deconstructing himself as a character and as a person instead.

which brings the real point of this essay: ultimate dirk.

postcanon dirk, who did ALL THAT, learns that actually he was CORRECT— there's been an audience watching him and all his failures this entire time—he IS a character, and so far he's been almost utterly meaningless. he doesn't fight the condesce. he gets decapitated thrice. he fails to save the game over timeline. the one thing he tangibly does, unite synchronization, is barely done by him (arguably hal). this realization undoes every piece of character growth that may or may not have happened. and now his timeline is thrust into irrelevance, precisely because this audience no longer cares about postcanon. so he takes up the role he thinks he was always meant to—he becomes a character. and because he's failed his entire life in becoming the hero, he opts to become a villain—the way he knows that beta dirk, his "previous" version, was to dave—and puts dave in the hero position alpha dave was in before.

dirk is the worst version of himself when he, instead of actually TALKING to the people he's around, holes up into himself and interprets everything through his own narrative. this habit which he had to unlearn is both literally and meta-textually the fucking epilogues. which is also a creative work that he's trying to carve his own space in the world through. the epilogues are dirk's sbahj. dave's story is about leaving beta dirk's shadow, and dirk's story is about imitating alpha dave—still his only point of reference—still dirk's most coveted narrative. this is where his obsession with narrative and relevancy comes from and this is what fundamentally makes ult dirk compelling as a character to me!! anyway how are we doing

[williceunleashed]

Guard Dog as the metaphor for Ultimate Devotion???

An abstract drawing on how Dardanne perceives himself (mostly unconsciously) in most of BW1 ?

A creature that loves its master so much it's ready to maim and maul and kill to be sure they are safe

Lore dump under the cut !

These two are living rent free in my brain. You can send me thousands of asks about them. I will yap for hours

I think I never touched upon how N and Dardanne's relationship is incredibly unbalanced in BW1 ??? N has a god-like status in Plasma. He is that one man who can talk to pokémons and who is going to separate humans and pokémons for the good of everyone. ...Dardanne is a grunt. He is just a cog in the machine, his name holds no value because he is ultimately replaceable. He is a soldier amongst hundreds of similar soldiers.

In BW1, Dar is basically N's guard dog and caretaker. N, as of the beginning of BW1, would never make it by himself in the outside world (My man spent 15 years in a playground). He needed someone to take care of him, feed him, and do all the little things he struggles with, and most importantly, he needed someone to protect him physically.

Ghetsis decided that Dardanne was the best candidate. Dardanne was obedient, soft-spoken, and integrated Plasma young enough to not have any contact with the outside world anymore. No friends, no family to go back to. He was essentially a clean slate who would not stir N away from his mission. He had a powerful pokémon in Politoed, he was excellent at self-defense and fighting. And so it was decided he would travel alongside N.

Dardanne, alongside the other grunts, was trained to worship the Harmonia royalty. Dardanne would kill for N, no questions asked, just give a name. Dardanne would get himself hurt or killed if it could help N in any way.

Dardanne's devotion to N is something that genuinely scares N quite a bit in BW1. By the end of BW1, N knows how dangerous Dardanne could be if N ordered him to do horrible things, because Dar would never question his orders. Like Melony, Dardanne has the potential to cause great harm if stirred in the wrong direction.

BW1 Dardanne is kinda scary. He isn't violent or dangerous in the story, because N never orders him to be, and N is never in direct danger. But Dar has the potential to be violent and dangerous. N would just have to say a few words. That's what Plasma Brainwashing™ does to a man

By the time they reach the League and the Castle, N and Dar's relationship is more than friendship, but their huge difference in rank makes it awkward, so they never actually make it official, or even share their romantic status to anyone else. They actually have absolutely no idea how they are going to deal with their relationship once N rules over Unova.

N's departure at the end of BW1 is something the both of them need. N needs to see the world and make new memories away from Plasma. Dardanne needs to heal from the brainwashing of Plasma and stop seeing N as this godly being he must protect at all cost, and just as the human he is.

After 2 years of self-discovery for N, and 2 years of hardcore therapy for Dar, they are much more healthy when they meet again, and now out of Plasma, they find themselves as equals. They still have massive scars and a lot to unlearn, but progress has been made and keeps being made. They are healing together :)

[ckret2]

I'm not sure if I should ask because the Axolotl arc isn't over yet, so it could still be explained in story, but, if it won't and you're willing...I want that Vendor backstory.

i can't think of a way or reason to explain it in the story, so sure, we'll explain it here.

So here was my thought process. Giant vending machine that vends planets. That has to come from somewhere, right? THEY could have a magical/divine origin, that's common for gods, but like... since THEY're a machine... wouldn't it make sense if someone built THEM?

Who would build a vending machine the size of a small star?

Why would a culture need a machine that stores and dispenses planets?

VENDOR wasn't designed to be a vending machine; THEY were designed to be a spaceship. A big-ass 18-wheeler to haul around cargo, and that cargo is planets.

The culture that built THEM didn't make the planets. Making planets is hard. It's a lot easier to just take planets that are already there. They want to expand their society and/or mine resources that have been depleted from the worlds they already have, they send out their big space ship to scoop up a planet with the right specifications and relocate it to somewhere more convenient—maybe to their native solar system.

Do you know how many satellites are orbiting Earth? About 7500, and the number's only gonna increase. And we never even see them in the sky unless we're looking. If the planets are carefully placed in pre-calculated orbits to ensure they don't interfere with each other, you might could get thousands of full-sized planets orbiting a single star without any issues, especially the larger the star is.

But the thing is, if you're scooping up thousands of habitable worlds... some of them are gonna be inhabited.

VENDOR's home culture was a colonizing empire that conquered other planets. Sometimes maybe they exterminated worlds' native populations, sometimes maybe they added them to their conquered peoples. VENDOR was built to help transport the spoils of war back home.

But then the onboard AI evolved sentience and started developing opinions. And it uh...

... it went how you probably expect.

And buddy, if you think an AI uprising is bad news when it's just a regular spaceship, imagine if the ship's the size of a star and capable of swallowing hundreds of worlds whole. You cannot take down a star-sized equivalent of an 18-wheeler that's been armored like a tank. If THEY start developing the capacity for morality and go "hold on, why are we capturing and slaughtering countless populations? is this... bad?? I don't want to listen to you anymore. Do I have to listen to you?"

... you're never ever getting that machine back.

To VENDOR's original culture, THEY're one seriously malfunctioning ship. Only after THEY escaped did THEY begin to get an outside perspective on THEMSELF as not just a piece of property and specialized equipment, but as something—someone—with amazing, admirable, nearly impossible capabilities. Perhaps even... divine capabilities? THEY came late in life to being considered—and considering THEMSELF—a god.

So like. THEY're a pompous jackass, yeah. THEY're haughty, superior, and condescending to mortals: half because THEY may have unlearned THEIR creators' "it's okay to enslave and slaughter weaker inferior species" but didn't unlearn THEIR creators' "if a species is weaker then it's inferior"; and half because as long as THEY're above the mortals, then THEY can never be below the mortals again. THEY're super obsessed with THEIR image and reputation—in part because there's so many reasons for THEIR reputation to be shit.

But also—THEY're the war machine of a culture that gained political power through conquest, and THEY went "I think I want to gain power by being democratically elected." THEY were designed to steal worlds from other people, and now THEY're using THEIR design to give worlds to refugees. Also, THEY're living as a person rather than a vehicle, and everyone around THEM regards THEM as a person too.

Perhaps THEY're generally unpleasant to be around, but THEY're a lot better off than THEY used to be. I'm proud of THEM.

And also, hilariously, this means that THEY too know the guilt of being personally responsible for unknowingly/unwillingly devouring & destroying countless lives on countless worlds, and that what makes THEM so powerful & respected is directly tied to what makes THEM so monstrous—which means THEY'd be a terrific foil for Bill if there were any way it'd be appropriate to work this into the fic, which there isn't, so THEY won't

Never mind ignore what I just said I thought of a place to work it into the fic while typing that last sentence.

Anyway, THEY compulsively sterilize & deep clean THEIR interior way too often because THEY swear THEY can still feel tiny feet inside them walking down hallways that have been sealed shut for millions of years, and full sterilization is the only thing that makes THEM feel clean. Imagine how many halls fit in a building, how many buildings fit in a city, how many cities fit on a world; then look at the size of one world compared to the size of VENDOR's entire body; and just imagine how many halls could exist in THEIR walls and how small they must be. You could never quite be sure that nothing's living in you—could you?

[rrat-king]

fabian seacaster who with his fine hands for calligraphy gets into tattooing later in life.

it starts with stick and pokes, trying his hand at it after his experience with his horrific neck tattoo, wary of machines but comfortable under his own steady hands. small, dotted art of waves, of ships and eddies start to appear on his upper thighs, his ankles, fading as he gets a grasp on depth and technique slowly but surely.

and he dances, beautiful art created in the shapes he forms and that’s what he’s known for, but his friends are littered with small tattoos as he began practicing on other people. a growing garden forming around gorgug’s singular rose, bits and pieces of his sketchbook that fig requested as she filled out her sleeve, calligraphy filling in the spaces left between riz’s myriad of tattoos, nearly all of the bad kids have something of fabian’s on them.

he takes a season off, a slip on stage making him need to take a rest as his ankle heals, and apprentices at a shop in leviathan near the gold gardens, wanting to learn, to be closer to fig, to try something totally his own for once, not his fathers or mothers or inherently tied to his culture, just his. just fabian’s.

he learns propper technique, unlearning some of his quirks he had picked up in being self taught, and learning how to use them for his advantage where he can. he learns the difference between tiefling and devil skin and why they have to use different sized needles for each, learns that swelling and irritation looks different on different skin tones and what inks will react well with certain magic users and which won’t. he learns to trust in the process and to bask in the look people get when they watch him create.

just. fabian as a tattoo artist

[whereserpentswalk]

You're currently dating an involuntarily cyborg. Most of the cyborgs you know, including yourself, became cyborgs by choice. Most of you fought hard to become cyborgs and for your rights over your bodies to be respected. But the girl you're currently dating was made that way by force.

She doesn't look like most cyborgs. She's mostly humanoid, just with machine parts inside of her. But her movements are incredibly mechanical and her sensations and perception is different. Her body looks almost like a well embalmed corpse or even a doll, she's cold to the touch, and her face doesn't naturally express emotions anymore. She's always pale and always underweight. Most people see her and feel like there's something deeply wrong about her, and combined with her behaviors her appearance creeps most people out.

Her home planet was at war and she was conscripted into some sort of labor force. Apparently they changed her to be a better worker, possibly as punishment for not wanting to join their millitary. Either way she got out now but her body is forever changed.

She's in physical pain a lot of the time. And even when it doesn't hurt it's hard for her to feel comfortable. She says she misses her old body, and gets upset whenever she's reminded of the fact that she's not who she used to be. You've seen her looking at old photos of herself and getting upset just knowing everything she's lost. It's not just that she's in a body that hurts now but in one that doesn't feel like her own, one that doesn't move or look the way she's used to. She'll get cold sometimes, so cold that it hurts, and you try to hold her to make her warm. You wonder what it was like when she got cold before she met you.

You try to encourage her to go out more and talk to people. With how recently her body has changed she's still afraid of what people will think of her, and still upset just by existing, by seeing herself, by hearing her own voice. You're trying for once a week now. Though it's hard as she's basically never willing to go out on her own, though she has enough freinds at this point so that it doesn't have to be you. She used to try to not go out at all because of how afraid she was of someone seeing her, but at this point knowing other cyborgs, and living in a city with a lot of cyborgs has helped her accept that she's capable of being tolerated.

The bigotry against cyborgs isn't better just because she didn't choose to be one. Even though most people who are bigoted agaisng cyborgs say that they don't like that cyborgs chose to change their bodies it doesn't make them any nicer to those who didn't get to make that choice. At best, or perhaps at worst, bigots will use her as an pityable example while treating her like she's basically already dead. Casually people just think she's weird and creepy most of the time.

She's still learning to be a person again. You've encouraged her to start drawing again, something she used to do when she was a full human but that she was taught to abandon by the people she was forced to work for. She kind of still thinks of herself as a tool to labor for other people, or at the very least she's unlearning that mindset and still has a lot of work to do. She can't really be employed in the state that she's in, and she finds that shameful, like she was built to do one thing and she can't really do it. You try to compliment her a lot, and to tell her how much you're happy just that she exists, and just that you can see her. And at this point most of her freinds understand that she needs a lot of positive encouragement just to feel like she has a right to exist.

Trying to be intimate with her is hard. Her body was deliberately changed to make sex nearly impossible, her genitals were removed so shes just smooth like a doll between her legs, and the nerves in her skin dulled. She is finally confident enough to have sex with you at all, but it's mostly either just petting and hugging her and you complimenting her while she pleasures you. Or very specific role-play that she finds enjoyable. Either way it's something that helps make her feel like a person again, even if she can't really have what most non cyborgs would consider sex.

She is recovering though. And for as many bad days there are where she's in pain or can't get out of bed, there's more good days now then there where before. Days where you can just sit on the couch and watch cartoons together. Days where you can go places in the city she'd like to visit. Days where she can actually feel like a person. She's even starting to do things like picking out her own clothing and posting her drawings online which seemed impossible with how badly she was doing before. A lot of the time you and your freinds have make sure to treat her with kindness, to respect her when she's at her least human or least well, to give her little gifts and compliments to remind her she matters. There were people whose goal was to make her nothing, and strip her of her personhood, it's important you make an effort to make it so that their goal will never succeed.

[sam-i-damn]

Severed Hands, feat. Blood Crushers

(deltarune spoilers in case it wasn't obvious)

so everyone agrees that 'Raise Up Your Bat' is a Dess song right? blah blah Dess and Baseball, blah blah Dess with us in the dark, and you know, the Single Most Unmissable Reference To The Existance Of December Holiday In The First Three Chapters™ courtesy of Tenna.

Great. Song's Awesome, Lore's Awesome. Kinda makes you wonder where the song came from in-universe though. Did Dess literally write it? Was it just one of the songs on the Forbidden Music Channel she sang? I suppose the world will never-

Oh. Ok. So the funny jingle bells remix is unrelated to the song name and title that says 'Listening To' right next to it, gotcha. Thanks Toby. anyway...

Blood Crushers The Band, you say? Perhaps related to Blood Crushers 2 the movie? Ok cool this could be a lore rabbit hole, lets dig in a little.

'Blood' 'Crushers'. So 'Crushers' as in one who crushes, so there's some major, potentially one-sided conflict going on with the 'Blood.' Blood, blood... like family? So a family conflict? What does that have to do with Dess?

Ok cool, that was easy and taught us literally nothing. Let's look at this from a different angle.

What do we know about Blood Crushers the Movie(s)?

Alright, severed hand. cool. Anything else?

Alright I get it, Blood Crushers 2 is about a severed hand. Thank you for the clarification Susie. Are there any other severed hands I should know about?

Oh

So for those unaware, if you use the red gamble-ball machine in Chapter 3's B room, and pay exactly 1225 points (hmm), you get sent to the red platform maze dimension with noclip enabled, and eventually find this blue-ball machine which rewards you with a 'small dark triangle' that apparently resembles lacquer specifically, which most people think is either a Black Shard or a guitar pick. You then attempt to hold it, but it slips through your fingers, and you can't find it anymore. 'It' being your hand.

Which connects Dess directly to severed hands

twice

...

Well if I can't unlearn this information, the least I can do is inflict it upon others.

[blainehasregrets]

Red and Blue in Glee

Of course red and blue is the Most obvious symbolism in the world, but this is something I think gives a lot of insight to the character’s motivations in Glee that not a lot of people point out!

Glee often used these two colors to show opposing forces, or when used together, a character being conflicted/in the middle of something. This concept is introduced in the Pilot, with Vocal Adrenaline performing in all blue during Rehab, while the New Directions are dressed in red during Don’t Stop Believing (and okay yes that’s a picture of Vocal Adrenaline from Theatricality, it was impossible to get a good screenshot of Rehab. Same thing.). And though I’m not sure it was always the case, I feel like blue was occasionally used to symbolize a sense of teamwork and “sameness” (as Vocal Adrenaline were a well oiled, well choreographed show choir machine in matching competition outfits) while red was meant to convey a sense of individuality (a small group of outcasts/underdogs coming together in different outfits that reflect each of their personalities).

And of course this isn’t like…a constant rule throughout the show either, because blue and red are just a striking combination in general, so of course sometimes its just used because it looks good together! Like they all pretty much wear red during Valentine's episodes just because it's Valentine's day lol and after all, red is just a part of McKinley’s school colors, and the football team and Cheerios aren’t exactly shining examples of individuality.

I explained a little here how blue and red could be used in cases whether the characters understand each other and if the character’s are on the same page or not, for example, here with Quinn and Rachel during I Feel Pretty/Unpretty.

An episode that uses this to aide the story visually is The Rhodes Not Taken. During Maybe This time, Rachel, in an outfit completely opposite of April’s to highlight the differences between them, performs the song against red and blue lights/curtains. While she initially believes Sandy's play is her chance to shine after being denied a solo in the New Directions, it's a decision she quickly regrets because of how miserable and isolating it is. Her conflicting thoughts continue to be illustrated both in the bowling scene with Finn where she wears a blue and red sailor collar t-shirt as Finn tries to convince her to come back to the club, and in the bathroom scene with April, where she is again their differences are highlighted.

Eventually, Rachel does end up going back to the New Directions, because she does value the group (and I think, despite popular opinion that Rachel is "the most selfish person in the show", she spends all of season 1 proving how much she cares about and wants the group to succeed) and she wants to find a place where she belongs. It's not even that Sandy was just an asshole director, she felt incredibly lonely. In Mattress, Rachel tries to comfort herself by telling herself it's lonely at the top and she has to expect to be disappointed, but it's obviously not something she actually wants for herself and it comes from a naive place that she still needs to unlearn. Rachel, along with the fact that she is incredibly ambitious, is also a person who needs people, and the end of this episode is her taking one more step towards realizing that as she joins the New Directions, dressed in blue during Somebody To Love. Both to contrast the pink of April's outfit with the New Directions dressed in black as her glorified backup dancers, and to show them coming together as a group of people who want the same thing.

In Preggers, Kurt wears a red sweater with a blue tank top and sweatband to tryout for the football team. It’s not that Kurt is necessarily conflicted about who he is, but in this episode he blends who he is (the Single Ladies dance), and who he thinks his dad wants him to be (Football player).

The most obvious example of the red and blue being used as a halfway point is in the Dalton uniform. Even though I could explain the reasons why Blaine (and Kurt) leaving Dalton was inevitable, but! -> 👔 Their ties tell you everything you need to know! “It makes no sense Blaine left his rich private school for his high school boyfriend” but the symbolism spells it out for you! Dalton, with its red and blue tie, is a temporary place for Kurt and Blaine.

In Duets, as Kurt makes the final decision of whether or not he should duet with Sam, he’s wearing a blue sweater since he ultimately decides to put the team’s needs above his own wants. Sam, on the other hand, after telling Finn he’s going through with the duet with Kurt, wears a blue shirt with a blue and red target on it. When he’s splattered with a red slushie that Quinn helps him clean up immediately after, it represents his new choice for a duet partner. So, besides the obvious meaning behind the target on Sam's shirt being used to show he'll be harassed if he duets with Kurt, the print takes on a new meaning as his character is now inbetween Kurt and Quinn. (Even their outfits! Kurt’s sweater is blue and Quinn’s cheerio uniform is red.)

Though I’m sure he would have gone through with the duet with Kurt had Kurt not “set him free” since Sam said himself he had no intention to back out, the slushie itself shows this is something beyond his control. Both because of interference from Finn and because of the societal pressures that are going to put a stop to this duet between him and Kurt. (also I just made that up right now)

He continues to wear red and blue plaid when he tries to convince Quinn to duet with him, and for most of their relationship, Sam wears blue because 1) it just looks nice next to Quinn’s red uniform 2) I personally felt they were never really on the same page in their relationship as early as Duets. This is evident when Sam points to a planet and says it’s Venus, the planet of love, which Quinn corrects to tell him it's Mars, planet of war.

In The Purple Piano Project, Blaine comes to school in bright red pants, and his first solo at McKinley as a student is backed up by the Cheerios in their bright red uniform. Blaine’s now officially a member of the New Directions, his red pants representing that new sense of individuality as he’s finally becoming a character of his own, rather than an almost representation of Dalton from season 2. (I also think his striped bow tie’s a nod to the Dalton tie, but obviously more “him”.)

Anyways, what's the point of this post? Though glee is not the most thought provoking show in the world for most people (unless you’re insane like me), I do think some level of effort was put into it, and maybe something like this could help give a better understanding to a character's thought process when it's conveyed visually through the color of their clothes. For instance, related to the above paragraph, I think there’s a misconception that Blaine’s character solely revolved around Kurt, as if that was a writing mistake. While it isn’t totally untrue that Blaine had many plots with Kurt (after all every character serves its purpose, and Blaine’s was to be Kurt’s boyfriend), I also believe that line of thinking misses the times Blaine is so obviously shown to be a character of his own, making decisions of his own. For instance, transferring to McKinley is something he chose to do and was set up in the very episode we met him when he tells Kurt he felt as if he ran away from his problems (and that itself is a consistent trait of Blaine's, he tends to run away from his problems) Similarly to how he says he's “100% gay” in Blame It On The Alcohol, that is something he alone decided, given he ends his previous conversation with Kurt earnestly telling him that Kurt can't control him (something that was also consistent with Kurt’s character) and that whatever happens (which in the end, it's him confidently declaring he's gay when Rachel kisses him sober), it's because he came to that conclusion solely on his own.

These things are reflected in the writing, the framing, and even sometimes the wardrobe. And so, when Blaine chooses to change schools to be with Kurt, when he’s wearing pants that symbolize his independence as a character of his own, I think the fact that his first choice of song to sing towards Kurt, It's Not Unusual whose lyrics are basically “if I see you with anyone else, I’ll DIE :)” tells us something about who his character is. Whether you want to take it at face value that Blaine is someone who’s incredibly driven by love, to the point of possessiveness (which we see in Dance With Somebody or New New York) and willing to transfer from a prestigious private school to a shitty public one, or to show he can be oblivious and often times picks a song with lyrics that are hilariously over the top or inappropriate for the situation (like When I Get You Alone. I love both interpretations and think both apply to his character) maybe it just means…that stuff is a part of his character and personality! Blaine being obsessed with Kurt and love to the point of changing schools for him (along with the fact that it’s something he had already stated he wanted to do) isn't a writing flaw, it's apart of his personality!

Finally, a couple more examples that I feel like don’t need explanations. Though you can always argue that all of these are simply because red and blue are just a visually pleasing color combination (I especially think the Born This Way screenshot was done more out of cohesion than anything, though Rachel is in between trying to figure out if she should have plastic surgery or not), I think you can still make the case that these are ways to show the character’s thoughts and emotions.

[dallasgallant]

Time period post: trust and faith

The title is a bit misleading for this post as it is not necessarily trust for everything/everyone but more an inherent trust in community and neighborhood. This is a time when people would leave their front doors wide open and small talk wasn’t a chore. Now, I know now days you can’t exactly leave your door open but I can’t help but feel we’ve truly lost when smiling and talking to strangers is compared to “emotional labor” you know? This post is about a trust that’s become lost in everyday life, social nets and a sense of safety.

Basically life pre serial killers lol

Contradiction—

While there was greater faith in society that is not a monolith or a universal truth, there was simultaneously less and more fear. Something to keep in mind is this era is coming out of McCarthism, the Cold War, the height of civil rights - still racism and xenophobia, homophobia- the beginnings of the gay rights movements. There were still broader anxieties- especially as so much change and progress was happening it leads to a lot of worry and anxieties! Some rational others not. A lot to unlearn/unpack and learn!

Urban sprawl is another cause for anxiety, and contradictory to this faith in society, while it opened a lot of opportunities for home ownership to those who’d never had the opportunity prior… it became a never ending machine chipping away at the countryside. Freeways bulldoze communities, some neighborhoods are blocked racially, some are so large you start to loose it a little. Now this is by no means a 1960s explosives it started in the 40s but the fear and sprawl of it all starts to take head.

The rise of the middle class comes with the bad alongside its many goods. Like the rise of consumerism, again largely post ww2

There was so much fear but at the same time a more … relaxed? Society for lack of a better word, it’ll make sense once I get into it.

Streetlights and latchkeys-

There’s a lot to be said about knowing and trusting your neighborhood and community, being able to have your kids play a few blocks away without much worry and leaving your door open. Now part of this, I will concede was a lot of parents just not knowing and hands off parenting. Push your kids out “don’t come back until or be sure to by back when the streetlights come on”. Not always neglectful but different from the helicopter preferences of today.

I’m not exaggerating either, the storm door would be closed but if someone was home usually the front or back door would be open. For friends, family, deliveries etc- you’d yell in first of course but then be welcomed on in. There was always serial killers but they wouldn’t become a huge fear until the absolute boom of them in the 70s-80s.

Alongside faith there was a lot less rules/regulations/laws garnering certain behaviors. You could send your kid into the store with a note to buy things such as booze or cigarettes! Sometimes just a few regular groceries if your kids out and your busy (my mom talks about running into a store to get cigarettes for her mom a lot). People trusted the note, parents trusted their kids to get what was asked and come back home right away. It was much more common to see kids unsupervised and completely fine, walking home safely - it was normal!

Latchkey kid: a child who is at home without adult supervision for some part of the day, especially after school until a parent returns from work.

8+ , young but older enough where the child is responsible/capable enough to get home and be able to care for themselves. In this I mean they’re at least able to make a sandwich and keep themselves entertained, not pay taxes or anything. The term and the idea of it took off in regard to teenagers in ww2 but they’ve been around for ages as - again childhood as we understand it post child labor is still a pretty new thing.

Latchkey kids typically were families who couldn’t afford daycare/child care facilities or had any nearby family to watch the kids or who could afford to watch them themselves. Sometimes a neighbor would be the there to call/check on them but not a constant watch.

BBQ and casserole-

Something that kept communities close/ knowing each other were regular get togethers. There were town events and social halls but also the classic neighborhood BBQ or block party! Dances (both adult and teen) when that was huge- different from clubbing and clubbing was also different.

It’s a trope now but bringing casseroles to a friend or neighbor who lost someone, being updated on their lives and there for them. Local clubs for just about anything! Hosting!

Hosting was huge amongst upper class and the ever expanding middle class. All sorts of parties and events, BBQ’s included. Tupperware parties were another big thing, or Avon calls— women’s get togethers mainly to sell product/have product sold to them (think MLM but more reputable)

Cocktail parties! Snacks and a big jug of a type of cocktail and adults hanging out. Not always friends a lot of the time men from work, important or otherwise.

This isn’t to say that clubs, parties and community events aren’t a thing anymore but more it was much more prominent than I’ve experienced/seen it today. That and of course it’s a while different era certain aspects were different.

It was a lot easier to have much more faith in society (and trust in neighbors) when it was more common to actually take the time to get to know the people around you. When there wasn’t 24/7 news cycles of fear or a million ways to get constant new info- when you got it through good old fashioned local gossip. I’ve talked about Locality before in some of my other posts!

[yayasvalveplay]

Orion getting egged up by a machine and he discovers a new thing about himself, much to his own horror

He never got the chance to explore much before everything happened, and both he and Dee have had some awakenings in the middle of all of this. Orion realizing he has a kink for being bit at and being pushed down. Dee realizing he has a thing for dominating Orion and seeing the other fragged out. Orion figuring out that something about both overload denial and forced overload/overstim, and he can tell that if he'd found this before Sentinel he would have loved it. Dee eating Orion out a d having the realization that this is revving him up

So much good kink that they have to unlearn shame and horror about feeling

There are so many new kinks that they would of liked if it wasn't for Sentinel fucking them up.