#transition log

[meanbitchydyke]

I’ve said this before but why mourn twink death when you can celebrate bear birth? Eat a burger and take a T shot.

[tinkerbitch69]

Transition log. Stardate: 10.10.24

Finally sent off for my deed poll! So now I just have to deal with the hassle of getting all my documents changed at the relevant institutions

Yippee! B U R E A U C R A C Y ! ! ! 🙃

[wooyoungbf]

MY NAME CHANGE HEARING IS JUNE 4TH !!!!!!

[finalgirlfall]

i forgot to tell y'all—i scheduled a consultation for top surgery!!! it is october 9... worried that insurance might decide not to cover it, but they should, given that [by my own assessment, which is admittedly biased] i seem to meet the specified criteria for coverage. and i'm pretty sure i got the letters they want, and i've been on testosterone for well over a year. i'm not very good at doing my shot "on time", but that's more due to lack of awareness of what day it is than anything else.

[cat-eared-rose]

HRT patch is ON! picked it up from the pharmacy on my lunch break and I'm so excited. I guess I'll keep a little catalogue of my transition here, so I'll kick it off with a day 1 selfie for record keeping 😌

[nico-moist-moses]

I'm offically 8 months of T :D!!!!

Notable symptoms:

muscle growth

permanent stubble (won't go away after a shave/ comes back after i do quickly, its still weird lookin idc tho lmao)

voice stopped deepening for a while and is consistent. the cracks love to come out occassionally :')

irregular periods aka more time inbetween them :D

Shit is good

[bylrndgm]

and you knew what it was, he is in love.

[insp]

[her-kngt]

going to hema tonight with full steel gear for the first time ....... no more pulling punches for me ......

[peri]

ive decided to drop the bigender label. originally i used it dual-wielding being a guy and agender at the same time or at fluctuating times coz i wanted to be perceived a certain way ... but ive decided that ultimately i am just agender, one who would prefer to be treated like a guy socially, but in safe spaces can be agender in peace. i like masc terms still, but i am not too fond of being called a man exactly anymore. guy, dude, boy, husband, boyfriend, etc are all good still though.

i am back to where i was like 3-4 years ago: just some agender guy. i had the right idea.

[uncleghostt]

for my own logs I'm 3 years on T now :)) as per usual, here are some old selfies recreated! truly woa to think it's been so long

also shout out to my childhood curlies coming back !!!!!!

[meanbitchydyke]

I am 3 years on T today!

[wooyoungbf]

I GOT THE FORMS FOR A LEGAL NAME CHANGE

[cyrilau]

Learning to trust the wisdom and memory of my body,,,,,., not everything needs to be explainable 😵‍💫 just feel 😵‍💫 and accept all 😵‍💫 reject none 😵‍💫

[bifurcatederos]

Dolki Min's Walking Practice

[nintendogswitch]

The other day this really cute trans girl I've been talking to on Discord said in passing that I have "a really cute voice" and I can't stop replaying it in my head and kicking my little legs in glee.

Specifically we were in a voice call with a few other people and she said (in reference to a friend who's been too shy to talk on mic because of their vocal dysphoria, as I was just a few days earlier), "Well Fib was too shy to talk on VC and she has a really cute voice, so I bet [x] has a cute voice too." And my heart fluttered for a second.

I have such vocal dysphoria that for the first two years of socially transitioning I did not show my voice to anyone that didn't already know me before my transition. I've just recently started coming out of my shell and talking to people on voice calls, first with my gf and then that got me comfortable with talking others that I don't know as well. It has been immensely validating to meet other women who like me not in spite of but often specifically because of my voice.

They have not seen pictures of me, and they know I'm early in transition and haven't done much to change my presentation, so I know they're not imagining me as some idealized model. All they have to go on is my voice and my personality, and time and time again, based on that alone, they are attracted to me.

Though I probably will in the future, I haven't done any voice training. I will occasionally change my inflection a bit, but when relaxed and speaking in casual conversation, it's just the same deep voice I've always had and always hated. Except now I'm getting compliments and making women cum with that voice, so it's quickly becoming easier to see it as a trait that doesn't need fixing.

I had so much stress and embarrassment about it, and this whole time there was literally nothing to be afraid of. And the best part is now I'm starting to wonder, what other anxieties might be unfounded?

(Oh, and if you're wondering how I got over it after years of hiding my voice, it was the same thing that did it with both my gf and the other girl I just met. They just got me so horny that my dysphoria brain got drowned out by the part of my brain yelling, "Let her hear your whimpers and moans! You know you want to and it will turn her on!" So right before I came I unmuted my mic and did just that. You would be surprised how that shatters the ice. After that it was like a curse was lifted, because in both cases we've been talking ever since, like it was never even a problem, and now I'm just able to talk to new people, no orgasm necessary. I literally nutted the dysphoria out. Queer sex, is there anything you can't do?)

[cozypunkprints]

2024 reading recap

(Yes I know we’re 3 months into 2025 leave me alone)

I think I’m going to start blogging about the books I read as a way to keep myself accountable to actually read more. I’ve unfortunately fallen victim to That Darn Phone in recent years. The middle schooler who read a stack of fantasy novels a week would be ashamed of me.

In 2024 I read 29 books, including re-reads.

I did a lot of re-reading this year. 16, or 55% of the books I read in 2024 were re-reads. Going to try to read more new-to-me books in 2025.

In 2024 I read 9 Discworld novels by Terry Pratchett, or 29% of my total books, 6 of which were re-reads.

I also re-read 4 Murderbot novels by Martha Wells and read the new one twice, and re-read all three The Locked Tomb books by Tamsyn Muir.

2 of the books I read in 2024 were nonfiction (a measly 7%) and one was a graphic novel. All the rest were fiction novels. Going forward, I should really read more non-fiction.

Favorites from 2024:

Piranesi by Susanna Clark (re-read)

I check this out every summer break from my local library. One of my favorite books of all time. Equal parts haunting and comforting, I absolutely devour it every time I read it. It feels deeply reductive to describe it as dark academia, as it’s so much more than that, but I guess it’s dark academia?

Hail Mary by Andy Weir (re-read)

This and the Martian are two of my favorite sci-fi novels. I hear we’re getting puppet practical effects Rocky in the movie and I’m tentatively excited.

The Great Transition by Nick Fuller Googins

A fast paced and tense yet tender novel about a world post climate-disaster and post hard-won recovery. This novel sort of subverts the classic “teenagers save the world” story by painting a searing portrait of what saving the world costs, as well as its aftermath. The novel cuts back and forth between Emi Vargas, born post climate-crisis into what seems like a utopia, albeit an imperfect one, and her parents experiences and sacrifices during the great transition. When the past collides with the present, Emi’s family is in danger of being torn apart. A portrait of generational trauma, enormous prices, and a world that will never truly be fixed but is still worth fighting for. Anyone who likes solar-punk, eco-punk, or is just in need of some hope that doesn’t feel like toxic positivity should read this.

Stone Butch Blues by Leslie Feinberg

Classic, beautiful, sad queer novel about butch identity and resilience. What else is there to say that hasn’t been said far better by someone else? Everyone queer should read this novel, especially lesbians. Next year: more queer non-fiction and more books by non-white lesbians.

The Knowledge Gap by Natalie Wexler

One of the non-fiction books I read this year. It’s about the literacy problem in America, and makes a case for high-content curriculum as a solution. An interesting look at education inequality and the flaws of American public schools. I found it really validating for a lot of the things I either experienced in public school or saw my sibling experience. A lot of it is sort of insider-baseball-y literacy theory (I only picked it up because my mother, a dyslexia tutor, had it lying around.) However I think that made it a good reminder of just how complicated literally everything is. Behind every system you can think of is a whole world of theory and practice and people who have put their whole lives into making this one part of society work. In a time when our public institutions are under attack, that’s a very important reminder. It’s a fairly quick and readable read and quite interesting.

Against the Grain: a deep history of the earliest states by James C Scott

The other non-fiction book I read. Against the grain is about new evidence regarding the rise of agriculture and the accompanying rise of inequality and the nation state. While dry at times, it makes a pretty good argument agains the idea of oppression and inequality as natural and inevitable states of humanity. This is the only book on this list that I read for a class.

Going Postal by Terry Pratchett

This was my favorite discworld novel of the year. I had read part of it when I first got into Pratchett and was too young to really click with it. This time I got the hype. Holy shit did I get the hype. This is both a very fun and humorous adventure and a sincere manifesto against corporate greed and for public services, in the form of a fantasy world’s defunct post office. Also did anyone else catch that the greedy con-man idiot has his office in Tump Tower? Seriously can’t recommend this one enough, and you should be able to get into it without reading any other disc world.

Honorable mentions:

Nimona by ND Stevenson

The Empress of Salt and Fortune and When the Tiger Came Down the Mountain by Nghi Vo (seriously so lovely and super quick reads)

Annihilation by Jeff Vandermeer

Previously mentioned Pratchett, Wells, and Muir. I wouldn’t have re-read them if they didn’t absolutely slap.

Wasn’t sure about:

Beautyland by Marie-Helene Bertino

Definitely beautifully written at times, though not the type of highbrow literary-fiction poetry-prose I usually go in for. It’s a story about a girl who’s sent to earth by aliens to report back. On the one hand, it’s definitely doing “autistic/queer coded character is an alien/robot” very hard. On the other hand it seems very self aware and deliberate about that? As an autistic who felt like an alien, the portrait it painted of profound loneliness and isolation felt very real to me. Maybe a little too real, and it wasn’t necessarily a hopeful story. I really really wasn’t sure how to feel about the ending. Overall worth reading and quite memorable, but it could definitely be triggering for some people, so be careful. I’m sure there’s a list of trigger warnings out there somewhere, and if not, message me and I’ll do my best.

Didn’t love:

Our Wives Under the Sea by Julia Armsfield

I see this one get so much hype, and it has every element and theme that should have made it a hit for me. And yet, it just didn’t speak to me. There were definitely elements that were memorable and it’s not a bad book by any means, but the main character and her relationship to her wife just didn’t compel me. I think if we’d spent more time with Leah pre-eldritch horror I’d have been more invested. Idk.

Anyway, apologies for the crazy long post. This probably isn’t interesting to anyone except me but tumblr is kind of the social-media-as-diary website so who cares.

Going forward I’m going to review books as I read them. If you’ve read any of these and want to chat/discuss I’m very open to that, especially ones that don’t have a big fandom on tumblr.