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Millennium Film Journal No. 19 “Re-Readings” (1987-88). An under-appreciated issue, with a number of texts on significant filmmakers including Trinh T. Minh-ha, Chris Kraus, and Georges Méliès, and writing by Will Hindle. Copies available through link in bio or mfj-online.org/issues #willhindle #chriskraus #trinhtminhha #georgesmelies #watsonandwebber #artistsmovingimage #experimentalfilm https://www.instagram.com/p/B52uVmdlKnZ/?igshid=1rrb5r8ter2p7

[fpdthoughts-blog]

In trying to tell something, a woman is told, shredding herself into opaque words while her voice dissolves on the walls of silence

Trinh T. Minh-ha (11)

From “Difference: A Special Third World Woman Issue”

When I was in Hong Kong, my uncle picked me up and my older cousin from her university and we went to a restaurant for lunch. and during this lunch, my uncle starts to tell my cousin to basically stop liking a certain celebrity for the sole reason that the celeb got into a drug scandal which he read from whatever news source he had. he basically was telling my cousin condescendingly to not follow the celeb anymore and blah blah blah being the “outsider,” i was just sitting there silently listening and observing and fighting the urge to not say something.

first off, from the moment he started talking to my cousin about this issue, it  was already bothering me because i heard of the scandal as well and i know which celebrity he’s referring to. after a lot of back and forth conversation between my uncle and his daughter, my cousin, i felt like, tolerated it enough?? and my cousin said:

“ley mm ho yong jerng buy lei dat ngo ah” (don’t use the fact that you’re an elder to ‘crush/oppress’ me”

my cousin said this because my uncle kept on trying to say that everything he was saying is right and that my cousin should follow what he says. and honestly, at this point, i couldn’t stay quiet any longer. my heart was beating so fast at that moment which i remember so clearly. it wasn’t really my problem or issue to begin with, but i was there the whole time and witnessing it all and i really couldn’t believe what i was seeing?? i knew i had to say something because it is this oppressive feeling and atmosphere i very much dislike.

i took a deep breath to calm myself first, then i interrupted their convo and i replied in cantonese which was something along the lines of “if you really liked a celeb who also had a scandal, would you stop liking them? what’s the difference between you liking a celeb and us liking a celeb? so many celebs drink/smoke/do things that the general public doesn’t even know. you can’t just blatantly tell your daughter to stop liking a celebrity because it’s not even possible... telling someone to just randomly stop liking someone isn’t effective at all.. like what’s the point?”

i’ll be honest here, i’m trying to recall exactly what I said and this is what i vaguely remember saying so it may not be 100%. but nonetheless, i said something along the lines of that. but this whole situation made me so fucking MAD. like it’s so fucking unfair and just like why ... not everything you say goes and we won’t have to follow everything you say just because you said so. 

like the quote ��her voice dissolves into the walls of silence” (11), it’s kinda how i felt because his response to my venting was silence and he just looked down at his food. i wasn’t sure how he received what i said to him and i didn’t even know what i was saying was right but idk. it was such an impulsive moment i just blurted out words. 

at times like these, even though i grew up in canada, i am so fucking glad i’m fluent in another language and i can communicate with my extended family. i seriously cannot even imagine saying what i said in cantonese in english and have him folly understand what i was trying to say. ofc it would’ve been much easier for me to say it in english, (and they do understand english) but it is that much more powerful to say it in cantonese because that is their mother tongue. and i felt pretty damn empowered that i was able to make my point about this, i assume, clearly since he didn’t say anything back. 

this situation was something that happened not too long ago, but for some reason it really resonated with me .. probably because i have never felt the way i did so heavily (?) i seriously don’t know how my cousins are able to tolerate this ... my life is in canada and i rarely get the chance to go to hong kong and see my extended family. even in the short period of time i was there, to have this situation happen .. it’s like, is this a normal thing that happens all the time? this oppressive and dominating feelings must be something that’s “normal” 

i just get the feeling that they’re used to this patriarchal/oppressive/dominating feelings that it’s just something they’re used to. like in my other post when my aunt told me to just let it go because my uncle’s always like that.. UGH. 

[auntlute]

Winner of the Lambda Literary Award for Best Lesbian Debut. A bold collection of creative pieces and theoretical essays by women of color. Making Face, Making Soul includes over 70 works by poets, writers, artists, and activists such as Paula Gunn Allen, Norma Alarcón, Gloria Anzaldúa, Lorna Dee Cervantes, Barbara Christian, Chrystos, Sandra Cisneros, Michelle Cliff, Judith Ortiz Cofer, Elena Creef, Audre Lorde, María Lugones, Jewelle Gomez, Joy Harjo, bell hooks, June Jordan, Trinh T. Minh-ha, Janice Mirikitani, Pat Mora, Cherríe Moraga, Pat Parker, Chela Sandoval, Barbara Smith, Mitsuye Yamada, and Alice Walker. #TBT #ThrowbackThursday #AuntLuteBooks #Bookstagram #books #GloriaAnzaldua #MakingFace #MakingSoul #HaciendoCaras #LambdaLiteraryAward #lesbian #PaulaGunnAllen #NormaAlarcon #LornaDeeCervantes #BarbaraChristian #Chrystos #SandraCisneros #MichelleCliff #JudithOrtizCofer #ElenaCreef #AudreLorde #MariaLugones #JewelleGomez #JoyHarjo #bellhooks #JuneJordan #TrinhTMinhHa #JaniceMirikitani #PatMora #CherrieMoraga #PatParker #ChelaSandoval #BarbaraSmith #MitsuyeYamada #AliceWalker

[followingtswiftsstep]

Twilight, two lights, of unclear meanings. #nightsky #sandiego #northpark #trinhtminhha #summernight (at San Diego, California)

[millenniumfilmjnl]

Millennium Film Journal No. 51 “Experiments in Documentary” (2009) #mfjbackissue #millenniumfilmjournal .. . . . . . #barbarahammer #trinhtminhha #leandrokatz #juliameltzer #davidthorne #ramifarah #lynnesachs #lucashilderbrand #carolinekoebel