fpdthoughts-blog

[fpdthoughts-blog]

Because each individual starts the process of engagement in feminist struggle at a unique level of awareness, very real differences in experience, perspective, and knowledge make developing varied strategies for participation and transformation a necessary agenda

bell hooks (23)

[fpdthoughts-blog]

Last Post?

ah yes, and this will be the last post for now, in terms of this project. this project has given me some time to reflect on the themes under feminisms, such as patriarchy, which is important to me. posting on tumblr here gives me the freedom to do so and to vent about such thoughts because these are literally “pillow thoughts” ;)

however, as time progresses, i think i actually will continue to post and use this tumblr as a platform to think about these ideas, use it as a mind dump, and just keep this as a collection of my thoughts and how i make sense of the world. 

thank you for reading, readers!

[fpdthoughts-blog]

Works Cited

hooks, bell. “feminism: a transformational politic,” Talking Back, Thinking

             Feminist, Thinking Black. Boston: Between the Lines, 1989. (19-27).

             Rpt. in SOCS201: Introduction to Cultural Theory Coursepack. Ed.

             Magnolia Pauker. Vancouver: Emily Carr University of Art + Design,

             2017. PDF.

Lorde, Audre. “The Uses of Anger: Women Responding to Racism,” 

             Sister/Outsider. The Crossing Press, 1984. (110-113). Rpt. in AHIS320:

             Introduction to Feminisms, Gender, and Cultural Studies. Ed. Deneige

             Nadeau. Vancouver: Emily Carr University of Art + Design, 2017. PDF.

Minh-ha, Trinh. “Difference: A Special Third World Women Issue,” Discourse.

             Vol. 8, Fall/Winter 86-87. (11-38). Rpt. in AHIS320: Introduction to 

             Feminisms, Gender, and Cultural Studies. Ed. Deneige Nadeau.

             Vancouver: Emily Carr University of Art and Design, 2017. PDF.

Ortner, Sherry B. “Too Soon for Post Feminism: The Ongoing Life of  

             Patriarchy in Neoliberal America,” History and Anthropology, 2014. Vol. 

             25, No. 4. 2014. (530-549). Academic Search Complete.

“Patriarchy,” Merriam-Webster, Merriam-Webster, https://www.merriam-

             webster.com/dictionary/patriarchy.

[fpdthoughts-blog]

Patriarchal domination of the planet is the root of the problem

bell hooks (19)

patriarchy is so present in asian countries that i find it suffocating sometimes??? like i would be in hong kong and my overall experience being in that kind of a society is different .. and i feel different .. but i can’t exactly pinpoint exactly how i feel when i’m there. i love hong kong in many ways but to know and realize that they live in a patriarchal society bugs me, and to know that my cousins live in that society worries me a bit. although i’m not there 24/7, i can only judge from what i’ve seen when i interact with them. 

in terms of parenting, i think that it plays such a major role in the development of children into adults. for example, i’ve noticed that my uncle would speak in more of a condescending (?) way to my younger cousin. it’s always the “i’m your father so listen to me” feeling. in hong kong, education is incredibly important which puts a ridiculous amount of pressure on young children and students. so the pressure is pretty big in terms of exams and whatnot. after my younger cousin took an exam one day, i witnessed my uncle asking my younger cousin (high school age) about her exam in the form of a question like, “you didn’t fail the exam right?” (in cantonese)

in my mind i was thinking about other ways this question could have came about, like a simple “how did you do on your exam?” would have sufficed. i’ve noticed that my uncle would approach these questions from the other side or the negative side of things? i’m not sure how to explain this. but either way, the attitude received from my younger cousin is more of a negative attitude towards answering the question, and honestly i’m not sure what to make out of this situation because i’m not really sure how to handle that ... i just think that the phrasing could’ve been said in a more caring/kinder (?) way. 

this patriarchal domination is definitely something that is needed to deal with and it is a problem, whether it be here in canada or in hong kong for example. in comparison, i feel that there is more awareness on feminism in canada and what not, but in hong kong, i don’t think that there is awareness on such issues. possibly in school but i’m really not sure from my outsiders perspective. i’m very happy and glad to be able to take such courses such as this course and SOCS201 because there really is a lot to learn and a lot to think about. whether it be patriarchy here in canada, or in hong kong, patriarchy still exists and definitely affects us in many different ways. being able to see the differences between my extended family and my immediate family here also gives me a lot to think about especially the patriarchy and how different our societies are. 

[fpdthoughts-blog]

We live in a world in crisis - a world governed by politics of domination, one in which the believed in a notion of superior and inferior [...] that the superior should rule over the inferior - effects the lives of all peoples everywhere, whether poor or privileged, literate or illiterate

bell hooks (19)

the superior and inferior ... something that completely resonates with me

when i was in hong kong, i was able to interact a lot with my extended family who i rarely get to see and i’m super grateful to be able to still have a good relationship with them.

but in Chinese culture, the patriarchy is dominant, and there is a lot on “respecting your elders” and it’s considered important

as a person who grew up in an asian household and more traditionally, i have the idea that “respecting your elders” is important. however, i hate when it’s like, “we must listen to whatever you say just because you’re older than us” kinda superior/inferior relationship. that is when i want to rewind and correct (?) this. yes you may be older and experienced more in life, but it doesn’t always equate to you being right all the time. so if you’re using the “i’m older than you therefore i’m right” card i will say something about it!!! and it bothers me so much when this “card” is used...

[fpdthoughts-blog]

Anger is loaded with information and energy

Audre Lorde (127)

From “The Uses of Anger: Women responding to Racism”

thinking about how i handle what i say when i’m angry, i think it’s best to breathe and calm down. when i get angry, i start raising my voice which i know isn’t helpful in terms of dealing with things when i’m angry. because when i tell myself to calm down, i have the time to speak slower if i am responding to a situation. therefore, anger is loaded with information and energy because i am calm!! or that’s how i interpret it

i used to just be angry and loud, but nowadays i tell myself to relax because my argument comes across easier on the ears? if that makes sense .. but most importantly it is more receptive that way, i find.

[fpdthoughts-blog]

In trying to tell something, a woman is told, shredding herself into opaque words while her voice dissolves on the walls of silence

Trinh T. Minh-ha (11)

From “Difference: A Special Third World Woman Issue”

When I was in Hong Kong, my uncle picked me up and my older cousin from her university and we went to a restaurant for lunch. and during this lunch, my uncle starts to tell my cousin to basically stop liking a certain celebrity for the sole reason that the celeb got into a drug scandal which he read from whatever news source he had. he basically was telling my cousin condescendingly to not follow the celeb anymore and blah blah blah being the “outsider,” i was just sitting there silently listening and observing and fighting the urge to not say something.

first off, from the moment he started talking to my cousin about this issue, it  was already bothering me because i heard of the scandal as well and i know which celebrity he’s referring to. after a lot of back and forth conversation between my uncle and his daughter, my cousin, i felt like, tolerated it enough?? and my cousin said:

“ley mm ho yong jerng buy lei dat ngo ah” (don’t use the fact that you’re an elder to ‘crush/oppress’ me”

my cousin said this because my uncle kept on trying to say that everything he was saying is right and that my cousin should follow what he says. and honestly, at this point, i couldn’t stay quiet any longer. my heart was beating so fast at that moment which i remember so clearly. it wasn’t really my problem or issue to begin with, but i was there the whole time and witnessing it all and i really couldn’t believe what i was seeing?? i knew i had to say something because it is this oppressive feeling and atmosphere i very much dislike.

i took a deep breath to calm myself first, then i interrupted their convo and i replied in cantonese which was something along the lines of “if you really liked a celeb who also had a scandal, would you stop liking them? what’s the difference between you liking a celeb and us liking a celeb? so many celebs drink/smoke/do things that the general public doesn’t even know. you can’t just blatantly tell your daughter to stop liking a celebrity because it’s not even possible... telling someone to just randomly stop liking someone isn’t effective at all.. like what’s the point?”

i’ll be honest here, i’m trying to recall exactly what I said and this is what i vaguely remember saying so it may not be 100%. but nonetheless, i said something along the lines of that. but this whole situation made me so fucking MAD. like it’s so fucking unfair and just like why ... not everything you say goes and we won’t have to follow everything you say just because you said so. 

like the quote “her voice dissolves into the walls of silence” (11), it’s kinda how i felt because his response to my venting was silence and he just looked down at his food. i wasn’t sure how he received what i said to him and i didn’t even know what i was saying was right but idk. it was such an impulsive moment i just blurted out words. 

at times like these, even though i grew up in canada, i am so fucking glad i’m fluent in another language and i can communicate with my extended family. i seriously cannot even imagine saying what i said in cantonese in english and have him folly understand what i was trying to say. ofc it would’ve been much easier for me to say it in english, (and they do understand english) but it is that much more powerful to say it in cantonese because that is their mother tongue. and i felt pretty damn empowered that i was able to make my point about this, i assume, clearly since he didn’t say anything back. 

this situation was something that happened not too long ago, but for some reason it really resonated with me .. probably because i have never felt the way i did so heavily (?) i seriously don’t know how my cousins are able to tolerate this ... my life is in canada and i rarely get the chance to go to hong kong and see my extended family. even in the short period of time i was there, to have this situation happen .. it’s like, is this a normal thing that happens all the time? this oppressive and dominating feelings must be something that’s “normal” 

i just get the feeling that they’re used to this patriarchal/oppressive/dominating feelings that it’s just something they’re used to. like in my other post when my aunt told me to just let it go because my uncle’s always like that.. UGH. 

[fpdthoughts-blog]

Storytime

I remember in Hong Kong, one of my uncles generally likes to ask my older brother (3 years older than me) questions and would ask him how he’s doing/generally interested in his life/asked him what he wanted to do while we were in Hong Kong etc. It was so much to the point where his two daughters aka our cousins and I would joke around and say that he loves my brother. cuz it’s quite obvious .... we would say stuff like if we wanted to do an activity, just say that my brother is going too and he’ll say yes LOL. 

this uncle would also say shit like my brother is the only one from “our generation” (in my family line, that is) who’s doing “so well” or something along the lines of that. idk i honestly think it puts a lot of pressure on my brother and even us ..

like he would say that my brother is best in front of everybody and my parents (my uncle’s older brother and sister-in-law) see that and would try to celebrate our achievements as well and my uncle would just be so focused on my brother...

idk this may seem like a trivial thing, heck all these may seem like a small thing, but it honestly really bothers me and the fact that in asian culture, it is so patriarchal and so heavily male-dominated .. it just bothers me a lot

and to make a statement and say that my brother is the most successful out of all of us is just a little ... idk how to describe it but like.. it’s too soon to tell?? yes my brother is the oldest out of just us four so naturally he would have more achievements and what not, but his youngest daughter is in high school still! like why make such a comparison at this age right now ... 

my older cousin (older than me and younger than my brother) would tell me that her dad actually tells her and her sister to check my brother’s facebook and tell them that he’s doing great things or what not ... like why are you trying to compare our lives here in canada vs your lives in hong kong? the opportunities to do what we wanna do are different and to in a way, brag about my brother to his daughters is honestly .. weird? idk and he thinks to highly of my brother

he’s a great uncle and incredibly generous to my family when we visit hong kong, but his views and some of his actions don’t align with me 

[fpdthoughts-blog]

大男人

this particular phrase is literally and directly translated as “big male person”

funny right?

but this phrase is basically used to describe a male who follows the patriarchy and is generally the “stereotypical male” used more in asian countries

similar to “be a man” in english, the question in Chinese is: 你是不是一個男人啊? (are you a man?)

often used to put pressure on males to do things that are “masculine” or whatnot, it’s like, if you don’t do whatever it is, you’re not being a man or whatever ......

i’ve always hated this phrase or this question like are you a man, or be a man and just ugh

[fpdthoughts-blog]

But patriarchy is still with us [...] in many spheres of life

Sherry B. Ortner

Brianne SIU - like even my last name ...

i was born with it technically ?? 

had it like automatically because of my dad (wow surprising patriarchy wow) love my dad but like i remember asking myself like why do children have to get their dad’s last name?? but i accepted it, and was like ok that’s how it’s supposed to be. when i was younger i remember thinking to myself like why is it like that? but i accepted it and i never actually asked, because it was just the way i was told, and because they were my parents i listened to them

“because you’re supposed to” or “that’s just the way it is”

i mean, living in a world where i don’t necessarily have control over what goes on in the world, i just accepted it and that’s also a thing of how i was raised, raised in this so-called traditional (?) way affects my thinking and the way i think now

like what else? marriage is such a big one. traditionally, the father walks down the aisle with the daughter to hand her over to the new husband. like weren’t women seen and treated like property before??? and like basically to give a women from one male to another male ...

defs in these recent years i’ve noticed that people aren’t changing their last names as often or even adding both last names hyphenated to have a combined last name is also interesting. i’ve also seen for those single mothers, their children’s last name follows their last name. so in terms of marriage i guess, there’s a decline in changing the surnames and some people even find it quite bothersome to change all the legal documents and such. heck some people even choose to not get married now. even then, patriarchy is still with us in western society now and it still affects us

[fpdthoughts-blog]

Patriarchy

Definition: a social organization marked by the supremacy of the father in the clan or family, the legal dependence of wives and children, and the reckoning of descent and inheritance in the male line.

TLDR: control by men of a disproportionately large share of power

Source: Merriam - Webster

[fpdthoughts-blog]

In Hong Kong

Example of a situation, my uncle is cooking a traditional recipe passed down from our family and as soon as he finished cooking the dish, he like threw down the utensil, turned off the burner and just walked straight out of the kitchen. Basically expected the people where were still in the kitchen to put it on a plate and bring it to the table. I wasn't really sure how to react???

me: gum do duk gei? (wow, he can just do that?)

aunt: hai ah, sang yut do hai gum ga la, yau duk kuy la (yes, he's always like that, just let him be)

I was like wtf is going on .............. and because I was told to let it go, I let it go ....

[fpdthoughts-blog]

Anger is a grief of distortions between peers, and its object is change.

Audre Lorde

page 129 from “The Uses of Anger: Women Responding to Racism”

it’s not just peers, i get so heated when i experience and physically feel this male domination ... but idk how i could deal with it ???

as a person who generally likes things fair and equal it bugs me so much ...

i just want change !!!

[fpdthoughts-blog]

Too Soon for Post-Feminism: The Ongoing Life of Patriarchy in Neoliberal America - Sherry B. Ortner

Women and gender are only “elements of a larger formation of power called patriarchy” (531).

yes this large formation of power that exists in our society and other societies the patriarchy

western society and the society in hong kong

hong kong is a really patriarchal society .. not sure when i noticed that but it’s true .. the behaviour or males and females

so heavily male dominated

affects me even in canada

even when i was younger i thought felt the dominance and power of the male and i didn’t even know what it was